Thank you for making these videos. I watch all of them. It's nice to know I'm not alone out here...and nice to know I'm not the only one with D.I.D. you explain everything just as if you crawled out of my head. Half the time I feel crazy. Then, I watch your videos and I feel like a survivor. Thank you :)
I'm not sure if this will help, but maybe it will. I have an eating disorder, unclassified, but it's not like yours. However, I do struggle with my weight. During a therapy session, I told my therapist, "I just don't understand why I can't lose the weight! Why I'm not motivated to do so or SOMETHING!" And she asked me if maybe it was a defense. She explained that some people stay overweight as a defense because being thinner equates abuse to them. It surprised me at the time, because I hadn't thought of it. It's out there. If she knows about it, it must be out there! Love these vlogs, thank you so much. They help us so much.
That does help. I wish my therapists would have acknowledged it. But since I saw what I was doing, I was able to resolve some of the issue. There should be a support group for this type of eating disorder. I think that would help a lot.
You are not the only one that associates being thin with abuse, I can for sure tell you that. I hope one day they do officially classify this as an eating disorder because it is a real issue that some people have to deal with. I also think that this type specifically is more common than people seem to think, or are willing to take a serious look at.
oh yes, i totally know the anxiety about losing weight. it got unbearable when "hard edges" started to become visible and its been hard work to reduce the fear.
I too wish therapists didnt dismiss it. My nickname "wardwaif" was actually started as a joke by someone when I was inpatient(not in a mean way). In reality Im 5'3" and over 200 lbs. One of my alters is still anorexic. But most of us are binge eaters w/o the purging. Technically I dont have a classified eating disorder but I know I have one.
Yeah! That's what I used to do! Binge without the purge. I told my psychiatrist this and she wrote it down but didn't address it. When I finally realized it what I was doing was about 5 years ago, I made a video about it, sort of artistic to Pinks song "Sober." Of course, I couldn't upload it but it really helped me see my actions. Sometimes it helps to see things as an outsider. You know what's interesting? I don't think my system has ever mentioned if they have an eating disorder. I should talk to them about it, maybe do a video on it, or they could. Good to hear from you.
I myself intentionally gained weight and am really afraid of being thinner, but I'm quite certain in my case it's more about my size complex (I perceive myself as being really small) and ongoing gender issues (I feel more connected to myself when I look and feel more masculine/pass as male rather than being identified on my more feminine traits (if I lost weight, they'd be more apparent). Doctors have advised me to lose weight because of my obesity and hormonal issues, but I just can't bring myself to.
I agree, I don't like being told how I "should feel" given a certain situation and not actually dealing with what you're feeling......I can see other people having similar issues with eating and associates a certain weight with abuse and trauma. I don't think I do, but it certainty makes sense for people to. Glad you're having good results with mood with the drug :)
A lot of times my therapists will say I should be angry with my family, I should feel rage with what they did. But I have been a Wiccan/Buddhist for 16 years and my teachings tell me to let go of anger, so I have. Letting go anger has allowed me to see the bigger picture about my past and I have been able to move beyond a lot of stuff. Through reading the Dhammapada (the teachings of Bhudda) I have learned about myself. The Pristiq has done so much awesomeness, I still have trouble believing it. But man, I'm getting so much done around the house. Hope you are doing well, Jamie.
I too have a fear of being thin. When i was thin i was raped and many others tryed to be with me sexually. I discovered once i became obese that noone looked at me as a sex object any more. There for by staying obese i couldnt get hurt again.
I'm surprised that no one has classified this as an eating disorder yet. I mean, it's pretty obvious. I suppose it will be classified in another 20 years. But that is the exact reason why I stay heavy. So I won't get hurt again.
I am so scared to lose weight as well. I think if I stay big then "I" can stay out longer. When i'm thin "I" never get to stay out. The more "sexual" alters come out and stay. This upsets and scares me because I want to be the one out. When they come out they stay out for months at a time sometimes. Plus I don't want to have sex with others...or not be a wear of it...does this make since?
Yes, that makes perfect sense. Its very common for survivors to be turned off from sex. I spoke to my psychiatrist about the need to stay heavy and asked if there was a name for that, she said there isnt a specific diagnosis but it is extremely common for abuse survivors.
Thank you for making these videos. I watch all of them. It's nice to know I'm not alone out here...and nice to know I'm not the only one with D.I.D. you explain everything just as if you crawled out of my head.
Half the time I feel crazy. Then, I watch your videos and I feel like a survivor. Thank you :)
I'm not sure if this will help, but maybe it will.
I have an eating disorder, unclassified, but it's not like yours. However, I do struggle with my weight. During a therapy session, I told my therapist, "I just don't understand why I can't lose the weight! Why I'm not motivated to do so or SOMETHING!" And she asked me if maybe it was a defense. She explained that some people stay overweight as a defense because being thinner equates abuse to them. It surprised me at the time, because I hadn't thought of it.
It's out there. If she knows about it, it must be out there! Love these vlogs, thank you so much. They help us so much.
That does help. I wish my therapists would have acknowledged it. But since I saw what I was doing, I was able to resolve some of the issue. There should be a support group for this type of eating disorder. I think that would help a lot.
You are not the only one that associates being thin with abuse, I can for sure tell you that. I hope one day they do officially classify this as an eating disorder because it is a real issue that some people have to deal with. I also think that this type specifically is more common than people seem to think, or are willing to take a serious look at.
I agree! It has to be! I am glad someone out there confirmed it! Thank you! You have no idea how much it means to me.
oh yes, i totally know the anxiety about losing weight. it got unbearable when "hard edges" started to become visible and its been hard work to reduce the fear.
I too wish therapists didnt dismiss it. My nickname "wardwaif" was actually started as a joke by someone when I was inpatient(not in a mean way). In reality Im 5'3" and over 200 lbs. One of my alters is still anorexic. But most of us are binge eaters w/o the purging. Technically I dont have a classified eating disorder but I know I have one.
Yeah! That's what I used to do! Binge without the purge. I told my psychiatrist this and she wrote it down but didn't address it. When I finally realized it what I was doing was about 5 years ago, I made a video about it, sort of artistic to Pinks song "Sober." Of course, I couldn't upload it but it really helped me see my actions. Sometimes it helps to see things as an outsider. You know what's interesting? I don't think my system has ever mentioned if they have an eating disorder. I should talk to them about it, maybe do a video on it, or they could. Good to hear from you.
I myself intentionally gained weight and am really afraid of being thinner, but I'm quite certain in my case it's more about my size complex (I perceive myself as being really small) and ongoing gender issues (I feel more connected to myself when I look and feel more masculine/pass as male rather than being identified on my more feminine traits (if I lost weight, they'd be more apparent). Doctors have advised me to lose weight because of my obesity and hormonal issues, but I just can't bring myself to.
I agree, I don't like being told how I "should feel" given a certain situation and not actually dealing with what you're feeling......I can see other people having similar issues with eating and associates a certain weight with abuse and trauma. I don't think I do, but it certainty makes sense for people to.
Glad you're having good results with mood with the drug :)
A lot of times my therapists will say I should be angry with my family, I should feel rage with what they did. But I have been a Wiccan/Buddhist for 16 years and my teachings tell me to let go of anger, so I have. Letting go anger has allowed me to see the bigger picture about my past and I have been able to move beyond a lot of stuff. Through reading the Dhammapada (the teachings of Bhudda) I have learned about myself.
The Pristiq has done so much awesomeness, I still have trouble believing it. But man, I'm getting so much done around the house. Hope you are doing well, Jamie.
I too have a fear of being thin. When i was thin i was raped and many others tryed to be with me sexually. I discovered once i became obese that noone looked at me as a sex object any more. There for by staying obese i couldnt get hurt again.
I'm surprised that no one has classified this as an eating disorder yet. I mean, it's pretty obvious. I suppose it will be classified in another 20 years. But that is the exact reason why I stay heavy. So I won't get hurt again.
I am so scared to lose weight as well. I think if I stay big then "I" can stay out longer. When i'm thin "I" never get to stay out. The more "sexual" alters come out and stay. This upsets and scares me because I want to be the one out. When they come out they stay out for months at a time sometimes. Plus I don't want to have sex with others...or not be a wear of it...does this make since?
Yes, that makes perfect sense. Its very common for survivors to be turned off from sex. I spoke to my psychiatrist about the need to stay heavy and asked if there was a name for that, she said there isnt a specific diagnosis but it is extremely common for abuse survivors.