Things You Wouldn’t Hear In The Bible | Mock The Week

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @TheFeralBachelor
    @TheFeralBachelor ปีที่แล้ว +153

    I miss this show. I wish they'd bring it back.

    • @CricketEngland
      @CricketEngland ปีที่แล้ว +6

      No chance

    • @jakelecroy5553
      @jakelecroy5553 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Me too. It was so entertaining. I really looked forward to it every week. I'm not aware of any shows like this here in the States other than Who's Line is it, anyway? Which is gone and we stole from the Brits lol And Brit panel shows are a really creative format - game shows with comedians as contestants where the points don't matter. What's getting cancelled next, QI?

    • @CricketEngland
      @CricketEngland ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@jakelecroy5553 Qi can’t be cancelled until after series 26

    • @michaelmcginley4887
      @michaelmcginley4887 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Politicians are too soft skin to handle humour, even though they are the biggest jokes.

    • @darthseverus89
      @darthseverus89 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You and me both mates I miss this show like a hole in my head and heart

  • @rickyplaysbyear7663
    @rickyplaysbyear7663 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    "Eve voted Remain."
    I died.

  • @Pining_for_the_fjords
    @Pining_for_the_fjords ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "The food was just bread, the conversation was rather sombre, but at least there was wine. I give Jesus 7/10".

  • @RichAdase
    @RichAdase ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I haven't seen the latest Bond films, but I'd be right there if in the next incarnation they cast James Acaster as Q.

    • @dp-g5i
      @dp-g5i 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hugh was in No Time To Die

  • @pariah076
    @pariah076 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Dr.Jesus Pepper 😂

  • @philipr1567
    @philipr1567 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    And Moses came down from the mountain. And he said: "WTF!! I turn my back for two minutes and this is what you get up to!"

    • @asherloat8570
      @asherloat8570 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I mean that is basically what he said

    • @TimoRutanen
      @TimoRutanen 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "Good news everyone, I have fift.. *crash* Ten commandments"

  • @jamesmcnulty3697
    @jamesmcnulty3697 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Thing I love about Hugh's Garden of Eden joke is that they did leave and it all went to shit

  • @Michelle_Schu-blacka
    @Michelle_Schu-blacka ปีที่แล้ว +48

    So Goldfinger. Do you expect me to talk?
    Well it can't just be all sex.

    • @justinmillard8196
      @justinmillard8196 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      James Bond! You think the sun shines out of your arse!
      No. That was Goldfinger. Our encounters had a lasting effect.

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    “And The Lord said, thou shalt rub the lotion on thy skin or thou shalt get the hose again.”

  • @CricketEngland
    @CricketEngland ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Blofeldt - “Hello Mr Bond, welcome to the Test Match Special Commentary suite a Lords during the 3rd Ashes test again Australia, it so nice to have you as our guest on ‘A View from the Boundary’ ”

    • @renejean2523
      @renejean2523 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Well Henry, he definitely bowled a Dr. No ball."

  • @NeidalRuekk
    @NeidalRuekk ปีที่แล้ว +24

    'And Jesus gave out cans of Dr Pepper. "Come on," he said, "What's the WORST that could happen? Crucifixion?!"'

    • @renejean2523
      @renejean2523 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      lol "Down the hall, first on the left, one cross each."

  • @AdrianColley
    @AdrianColley ปีที่แล้ว +18

    "Welcome back, Mr. Bond, to this mandatory training course on sexual harassment in the workplace."

  • @USSResolute
    @USSResolute ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I enjoyed this, and I believe in the Bible and the power of the shaken Martini.

  • @Vincornelis
    @Vincornelis ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Hi this is Jesus and in this new book podcast I'll be going over all my essential reads. You're listening to The Crucifiction.

  • @ebanavrintel
    @ebanavrintel ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Mannn I miss this show

  • @crazyman8472
    @crazyman8472 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Where’s Frankie Boyle when you need him? 😭

  • @minibus9
    @minibus9 ปีที่แล้ว

    awesome video

  • @theblackhalcyon1763
    @theblackhalcyon1763 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr Jesus Pepper 😂

  • @charleslindsay3201
    @charleslindsay3201 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    always a pleasure

  • @kylewilliams5761
    @kylewilliams5761 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "Well that could of ended better.!!"

  • @Spidey-eq1eh
    @Spidey-eq1eh ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This show needs its Backstreet's Back alright.

    • @renejean2523
      @renejean2523 ปีที่แล้ว

      No idea what that means, but I gave you a thumbs up anyway. 😁

  • @michaelwhalen1201
    @michaelwhalen1201 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My name is Doctor Jesus Pepper⚡️

  • @kylestubbs8867
    @kylestubbs8867 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    5:09

  • @eclectica1
    @eclectica1 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Acaster won this one easily.

  • @MaksB.
    @MaksB. ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Indeed.

  • @JB-vr1vz
    @JB-vr1vz ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Please bring back mock the week. So little humour on tv atm.

  • @williamgeardener2509
    @williamgeardener2509 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This book has been rated 18 due to graphic violence, moderate threat and homophobia.
    Should be a PG rating for the quran as well.

    • @Drak_Thedp
      @Drak_Thedp ปีที่แล้ว

      It's all based in Torah. All 3 should have a PG rating of "when you understand that fairy tales aren't real".

  • @chijindu2002
    @chijindu2002 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💕💕

  • @kevincurran699
    @kevincurran699 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Don't worry about Darwin...he thinks chuckens evolved from dinosaurs...😂

    • @eddyblackmore4188
      @eddyblackmore4188 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      It's more believable than them being made by an invisible hypocritical sky wizard. Jus sayin'

  • @Jenifer_R_
    @Jenifer_R_ ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Number 1 thing You Wouldn't Hear in the Bible:
    "All names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this publication are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred."

  • @TomFynn
    @TomFynn ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What is the the difference between Jesus and Jenna Jameson? The expression on the face when getting nailed.

  • @DomesticApe
    @DomesticApe ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Dara can't say 'everyone'

    • @timothybridgewater5795
      @timothybridgewater5795 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The closest I can get to what he actually says is 'evrin'

    • @DomesticApe
      @DomesticApe 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@timothybridgewater5795 It's more like eri-un I reckon

  • @LIJXFVKINBVY
    @LIJXFVKINBVY 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I just made this new bible last week and everyone believes it is true.

  • @iowa89357
    @iowa89357 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    There should be an American version of this

    • @CricketEngland
      @CricketEngland ปีที่แล้ว

      Why it will be shite

    • @offthewall9988
      @offthewall9988 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      famous last words for the pilot

    • @renejean2523
      @renejean2523 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh god, please *NO!*

    • @justgoofinaround
      @justgoofinaround ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah. It's called scenes from a hat on Whose Line Is It Anyways? Drew Carey and group have been doing this for a while. Just another example of the UK ripping off great American TV. They did it with The Office, and now this...

    • @iowa89357
      @iowa89357 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@justgoofinaround you think I don't know whose line is it anyway? I grew up watching that every night, happy to see reruns and ecstatic at new episodes. It was a must watch at home
      What I meant to say was. "I wish there was a modern, American version of Mock the Week"

  • @kennyn1992
    @kennyn1992 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    And Jesus said, I suppose being God n all I could tell you about penicillin and basic plague restricting hygiene, but I won't cos I'm actually a bit of a dick.

  • @tonyarichards5430
    @tonyarichards5430 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    *laughs in atheist

  • @williambarnes3868
    @williambarnes3868 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Duh! the bible is a book. Books do not make a noise , so you cannot hear anything.

  • @saar144
    @saar144 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was pretty cringey to be honest. Even Acaster was not at his best

  • @mt.penguinmonster4144
    @mt.penguinmonster4144 ปีที่แล้ว

    666 likes. Nice

  • @robertharriman7267
    @robertharriman7267 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    An excellent reminder of why this show needed to die.

    • @imcallingjapan2178
      @imcallingjapan2178 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Why?

    • @robertharriman7267
      @robertharriman7267 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @imcallingjapan2178 did you seriously find this clip funny?

    • @imcallingjapan2178
      @imcallingjapan2178 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@robertharriman7267 Not really, I just wanted to know what you meant exactly

    • @petergaskin1811
      @petergaskin1811 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@robertharriman7267 Of course I did.
      Are you some sort of theist numpty?