It's also a very beautiful poem by Cassie Philips “Just Let them. If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM. If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM. If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM. If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM. If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM. If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM. If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM. If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM. If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM. Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own. So let them.”
OMG 1:10:52 My dysfunctional mother used to say about my annoying siblings, "Just ignore them, they'll go away." It worked. I am estranged from my family and getting emotionally healthier every day due to a 12-step group and podcasts like this.
Mel, please do the right thing and give Cassie Phillips the credit she deserves for creating the "Let them" phrase and also share the profits from your book with her. If you do, maybe your next book title can be "Own it" as in "own up to it when you inadvertently make a mistake". You would then make back whatever money you share with Cassie and more importantly maintain the respect of all of us that love you. You have helped me so much with the 5 second rule and the high 5 idea and I admire you so much. Time to take it to the next level. Deborah Avillion, Fort Smith, Arkansas
Very inspiring. I like the lesson of acceptance and self empowerment. I have watched many of Mel's Podcast. This interview gives the best and clear understanding of her message and life mission. Very worthwhile
I learned this from your TV show. thank you so much. I am elderly and use it when unpleasant memories pop in my head, remembering shameful things that people did to me, etc. I picture my favorite tree, and count backwards as many times as I need to until the memory goes away. I am lucky, getting up has never been a problem for me. This was a very one-sided episode.
After listening to Mel’s podcasts in early 2024, I started to heal myself. The guilt of cutting off my relationship with one parent after decades of living together under one roof while raising my own family and working full time, affected my health and emotional well being significantly. Decades of negativity took a lot of my life’s energy. Now I am slowly taking back my life and strengthening my relationship with my spouse and young adult kids. Thank you Mel Robbins for all your positivity!!!
She is soo right. A few years ago I stopped trying to control others and focused on controlling myself. My life changed and I'm so much happier. Yes there are some people I let go and looking back on those people I think they were trying to control me or they were out of control. I never read her book but I should gift her book to a few people😂
Yes, I think that it is the same for autism. I know a woman who was medicated all her life for anxiety. But now I see that her whole family is autistic. I think that she is too. Now a senior, I just learned that I am autistic. And I see the medical community calling it a disorder. I don’t think it is a disorder. But anxiety and depression are definitely disorders. When you get the correct diagnosis, it makes all the difference in the world.
I found out I was on the Spectrum when my son was diagnosed in the 80's. My whole life could have been better but in those days no one tested for it. It definitely runs in our family.
Mel I too am dyslexic and I could relate to what you said in the beginning about school and that we think differently and how hard it was in school as a little girl through HS. We have to figure out our own strategies on how to get answers to get things done the dyslexic way. We have to think creatively to figure things out and probably a simpler solution. Like 5,4,3,2,1🚀 or Two simple relatable words as Let Them. I get that! It not brain science and being dyslexic and I can understand that. I shared your philosophy with a friend today over the phone and she had so many aha moments when I told her about your Let Them Theory. I am feeling so much calmer. I’ve had breast cancer twice and I know it was from stress. I knew if I didn’t change my way of thinking it would come back again. This book has given my gut a break. It’s calm, and it has felt that way in more years than I can count. I’m in control of my thinking and thoughts and it feels amazing. Can’t thank you enough my friend 💞
Mel Robbins, you have done the good work, as I've done. We own and understand our Dyslexia and ADHD ( I was diagnosed Dyslexia/Dysgraphia at 41, then only recently the ADHD in retirement). So responding and changing behavior based on our knowledge of how our brains work different, works. But if you haven't done the work to understand your differences, I think it's difficult to grasp the "let them."
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us, Mel! You help so many people. I believe the sign of maturity is someone who can step away and create space. Creating space between yourself and the situation is a long standing practice. It is not really a theory. But it helps that you call it “Let Them”, but I would suggest it as a METHOD to peace or a PRACTICE.
This message comes right on time. But I’m not sold on employing Let Them theory when in conflict with an ex who impedes or complicates access to children. But the theory is useful in other spaces.
Hi Mel, ❤what you have discovered about your life…I accepted my position in life as a miserable person when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour causing me to have a deep depression in my early 70’s. I was operated on and the tumour was removed over one year ago. I became a new person, lost weight, started exercising and became loving myself again. I also took everything on myself if someone was having a bad time and needed my support. I failed myself mentally and this may have caused my depression. I also now believe that I was being a martyr and could fix everyone and everything, but only destroyed myself. I will read your book and pass this information onto my friends and relatives. Thank you!
Let go and Let God, Serenity Prayer, Al-Anon, Wayne Dyer, Melody Beattie all have taught us much of this, but Mel shares her own life and makes it so relatable! Enjoyed all 10 hours of LET THEM on Audible! I do want to acknowledge Cassie Phillips who wrote the original poem! Congratulations Mel, you have hit the big time! First Oprah and now Katie Couric! ✨️🩷🙏🏼😃
I found this out many many years ago when someone said to me" you can never make it right for everybody, you will always step on someone's feet". That started a lifelong collecting of little lives sayings and wisdoms. You will find out "let them" has already been said in many ways, for example the serenity prayer is one of them. Right now I am dealing with an unreasonable elderly mother where I have to remind myself, that I cannot change her and simply have to "let her". The ubsurdity of not following this saying comes in the form of another live's wisdom /proverb:" Do not argue with a fool (ignrant person etc.). They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." or humorously said: "is like playing playing chess with a pigeon"...(look up the rest...lol. .
I don’t understand why people criticize someone who is offering help to so many. The ways to live a healthy life go back thousands of years. People in the modern age are finding ways to make it easier for us to implement these principles. If 100 people want to tell me 100 different ways to be happier and more fulfilled in life, let them. I’ll pick and choose what connects with me. We have such a divided world and I’d much rather listen to the good noise than the bad. If we become irritated with people like Mel Robbins or other self help people, then maybe we need to look at what’s going on in our own life.
My anxiety was due to synthetic folic acid fortified foods. With a genetic disorder mthfr my body didnt metholate properly. Finally im on natural b vitamins i feel normal. But i cannot have any fortified foods with synthetic b vitamins.
Honestly this is not new information, we have just become such a self serving society - we have to stop thinking of "me, me, me" all the time, to the point where we need to buy books to change how "I think about me".... more time thinking / caring for others will naturally put you in a better place, volunteer, help your neighbor, get to know your local cashier, etc... build relationships not based on how it will serve "me"... of course, this is just my opinion.
Schools still today have no idea how to handle and HELP students with ADHD. It’s sad. I want to SO badly say to this parent, get your kid tested! But we cannot do this. I am a teacher AND I have a child with this diagnosis. So I Know!
So let them means they can do whatever they want. Take advantage, manipulate, lie. My husbands daughter is 53, she gets evicted, many times, Calle him only when she needs something , gives him guilt trips, she’s now moved into our yard in a trailer because he lets her!! I’m right in the middle of it again and again. She will not ever grow up, he complains but rescues her every time. It is right her with me and I am so angry. This keep happening, year after year. So do I let her use us ? Take our money? Take our sleep??? Do I say let them destroy his life and my life too??
My only critique so far is Mel talking about silent treatment being childish. It feels a little like gaslighting. What if the silent treatment is the person going "let them" to you, not wanting to deal with your uncontrollable nonsense. To call them childish is actually childish. They're not doing what I want, which is engagement, so I'll insult them.
Nothing is really new: most Psychology goes back to Buddhism. Yet most people don't have much insight into their brain's operation. So the more people trying different ways to promote such education the better inho.
Why does it irritate you that she is helping so many people? I ask this with kind intent. Your feelings are very valid of course. I have found through a life of depression and anxiety that I need to hear things in a certain way. Mel has spoken to me for two years now in a way no one else has. She has a way of connecting with me and making me feel I can implement theories.
Plagiarism. In classic self-proclaimed guru fashion, no recognition for its true source. Shame on you Mel. You had the opportunity to give someone the credit they deserved, but you wanted it ALL for yourself.
I'm not disagreeing with you and am genuinely curious - is there a person/people doing research related to the content of the book? If you have any recommendations, I'd love to check out the source.
If you listen to the last part of this video, Mel gives credit for this theory going back many years. For example, she credits Martin Luther King for one. She has put a different face on it to make it easy for people to remember and implement. I have listened to Mel for two years and she helped me out of deep depression and anxiety. She spoke to me like no one else. I personally care more about how many people she is helping. I don’t say this with any malicious intent - why not Let Them do what she is doing. You can’t control what you believe her intent is. So what if she is becoming popular and probably making alot of money. She is still doing something very good for the many.
Maybe let yourself not listen. This interview with Katie resonated with me, especially the discussion around unhappiness anger and fear. I seem to default to anger and I wonder if you do as well. I'm trying to recognize and understand my triggers as well. I'm having trouble with 22:58 our divisive politics and the let them attitude may be the best i can do for now. Timestamp 19 or so.
Mel still has a lot of stress in her. This has to be reflected in, i.e., her sex. Build a rich adult relationship life and navigating all other areas becomes vastly easier.
Thankfully Mel is helping people develop life skills to do just what you said. We all learn differently and some of us need a little help getting there.
@@feedback5000 I just realized I have more 'let them' female power songs in my Playlist. This one, I love: Låt dem hata vi bara firar Låt dem hata vi bara firar Babblar om La Colombiana Ingen av dem har nån talan Kommer aldrig va som oss Låt dem falla De hatar på min kvalitet Har så mycket driv man kan tro det är skevt Ingen av dem har nån chans Låt dem hata låt dem falla Alla de bara skjuter blankt Jag lovar nåt najs Lover nåt najs när jag Vänta vänta vänta Skål ikväll här för min hype Och de framstegen jag gjort Ni är små har inget life Men ni vet jag tänker stort Fattar ej varför ni spelar ni vill ha respekt Leker att ni är favela synar er direkt
I have no respect for your channel. You participate in attacking people in disinformation campaigns and work with some of the slimmest people on social media. Yuck - grow some integrity..
It's also a very beautiful poem by Cassie Philips
“Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.
Let them lose you. You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.”
Nice, thank you!
@bbcerise I wish I could copy this and post it on bathroom mirror.
Is that a real poem ? Like not from a song, nor it is from AI.
Poem directed to your children
@@keepcreationprocessYes, it is.
OMG 1:10:52
My dysfunctional mother used to say about my annoying siblings, "Just ignore them, they'll go away." It worked. I am estranged from my family and getting emotionally healthier every day due to a 12-step group and podcasts like this.
She's one of the few motivational speakers who doesn't make me feel like I'm being conned.
I put this podcast on pause, got my ass up and did my walk!!!! I was making excuses that it was cold. thank you!!!
Mel, please do the right thing and give Cassie Phillips the credit she deserves for creating the "Let them" phrase and also share the profits from your book with her. If you do, maybe your next book title can be "Own it" as in "own up to it when you inadvertently make a mistake". You would then make back whatever money you share with Cassie and more importantly maintain the respect of all of us that love you. You have helped me so much with the 5 second rule and the high 5 idea and I admire you so much. Time to take it to the next level. Deborah Avillion, Fort Smith, Arkansas
Mel. I am so proud of you. You have now been invited by Oprah and Katie. Where were they years ago? Just let them!!!so happy for you!!! Much 💕
Are you proud of Cassie Phillips?
Me too Mel. Still trying to learn to live with at 65.
Exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you Katie and Mel!
Love things for what they are, not for what you'd like them to be. Loved this chat.
Very inspiring. I like the lesson of acceptance and self empowerment.
I have watched many of Mel's Podcast. This interview gives the best and clear understanding of her message and life mission.
Very worthwhile
Mellll you got invited by Katie C..What an honour
I suspect the Let Them theory is going to change my whole way of being in the world. Already, this Xmas, it's made me more peaceful.
At least one of you changed my life and I'll always love you for it.❤
I learned this from your TV show. thank you so much. I am elderly and use it when unpleasant memories pop in my head, remembering shameful things that people did to me, etc. I picture my favorite tree, and count backwards as many times as I need to until the memory goes away. I am lucky, getting up has never been a problem for me. This was a very one-sided episode.
After listening to Mel’s podcasts in early 2024, I started to heal myself. The guilt of cutting off my relationship with one parent after decades of living together under one roof while raising my own family and working full time, affected my health and emotional well being significantly. Decades of negativity took a lot of my life’s energy.
Now I am slowly taking back my life and strengthening my relationship with my spouse and young adult kids.
Thank you Mel Robbins for all your positivity!!!
She is soo right. A few years ago I stopped trying to control others and focused on controlling myself. My life changed and I'm so much happier. Yes there are some people I let go and looking back on those people I think they were trying to control me or they were out of control. I never read her book but I should gift her book to a few people😂
Yes, I think that it is the same for autism. I know a woman who was medicated all her life for anxiety. But now I see that her whole family is autistic. I think that she is too.
Now a senior, I just learned that I am autistic. And I see the medical community calling it a disorder. I don’t think it is a disorder.
But anxiety and depression are definitely disorders.
When you get the correct diagnosis, it makes all the difference in the world.
I found out I was on the Spectrum when my son was diagnosed in the 80's. My whole life could have been better but in those days no one tested for it. It definitely runs in our family.
Mel I too am dyslexic and I could relate to what you said in the beginning about school and that we think differently and how hard it was in school as a little girl through HS. We have to figure out our own strategies on how to get answers to get things done the dyslexic way. We have to think creatively to figure things out and probably a simpler solution. Like 5,4,3,2,1🚀 or Two simple relatable words as Let Them. I get that! It not brain science and being dyslexic and I can understand that.
I shared your philosophy with a friend today over the phone and she had so many aha moments when I told her about your Let Them Theory.
I am feeling so much calmer. I’ve had breast cancer twice and I know it was from stress. I knew if I didn’t change my way of thinking it would come back again. This book has given my gut a break. It’s calm, and it has felt that way in more years than I can count. I’m in control of my thinking and thoughts and it feels amazing.
Can’t thank you enough my friend 💞
I love this & using this everyday. My life is WAY less stressful ❤ thank you thank you 🙏
Amen. We all have been there. Very relatable.
Mel Robbins, you have done the good work, as I've done. We own and understand our Dyslexia and ADHD ( I was diagnosed Dyslexia/Dysgraphia at 41, then only recently the ADHD in retirement). So responding and changing behavior based on our knowledge of how our brains work different, works. But if you haven't done the work to understand your differences, I think it's difficult to grasp the "let them."
Great interview
I love you Mel!
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us, Mel! You help so many people. I believe the sign of maturity is someone who can step away and create space. Creating space between yourself and the situation is a long standing practice. It is not really a theory. But it helps that you call it “Let Them”, but I would suggest it as a METHOD to peace or a PRACTICE.
This message comes right on time. But I’m not sold on employing Let Them theory when in conflict with an ex who impedes or complicates access to children. But the theory is useful in other spaces.
Read the book - it is not just "Let Them" it only works but when used with "Let Me"
Accept how people are.. let them be who they are and let me decide how to handle it. I feel for you.
Hi Mel, ❤what you have discovered about your life…I accepted my position in life as a miserable person when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour causing me to have a deep depression in my early 70’s. I was operated on and the tumour was removed over one year ago. I became a new person, lost weight, started exercising and became loving myself again. I also took everything on myself if someone was having a bad time and needed my support. I failed myself mentally and this may have caused my depression. I also now believe that I was being a martyr and could fix everyone and everything, but only destroyed myself. I will read your book and pass this information onto my friends and relatives. Thank you!
Let go and Let God, Serenity Prayer, Al-Anon, Wayne Dyer, Melody Beattie all have taught us much of this, but Mel shares her own life and makes it so relatable! Enjoyed all 10 hours of LET THEM on Audible! I do want to acknowledge Cassie Phillips who wrote the original poem! Congratulations Mel, you have hit the big time! First Oprah and now Katie Couric! ✨️🩷🙏🏼😃
Responsibility is something you have to accept.
Responsibility is the ability to respond? Responsibility is acceptance and accountability.
I found this out many many years ago when someone said to me" you can never make it right for everybody, you will always step on someone's feet". That started a lifelong collecting of little lives sayings and wisdoms. You will find out "let them" has already been said in many ways, for example the serenity prayer is one of them. Right now I am dealing with an unreasonable elderly mother where I have to remind myself, that I cannot change her and simply have to "let her". The ubsurdity of not following this saying comes in the form of another live's wisdom /proverb:" Do not argue with a fool (ignrant person etc.). They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." or humorously said: "is like playing playing chess with a pigeon"...(look up the rest...lol. .
Thank you for being up jealousy esp with bullies
I don’t understand why people criticize someone who is offering help to so many. The ways to live a healthy life go back thousands of years. People in the modern age are finding ways to make it easier for us to implement these principles. If 100 people want to tell me 100 different ways to be happier and more fulfilled in life, let them. I’ll pick and choose what connects with me. We have such a divided world and I’d much rather listen to the good noise than the bad. If we become irritated with people like Mel Robbins or other self help people, then maybe we need to look at what’s going on in our own life.
This reminds me of Byron Katie’s philosophy. “Loving what is”.
Love YOU KD!!!❤
My anxiety was due to synthetic folic acid fortified foods. With a genetic disorder mthfr my body didnt metholate properly. Finally im on natural b vitamins i feel normal. But i cannot have any fortified foods with synthetic b vitamins.
Honestly this is not new information, we have just become such a self serving society - we have to stop thinking of "me, me, me" all the time, to the point where we need to buy books to change how "I think about me".... more time thinking / caring for others will naturally put you in a better place, volunteer, help your neighbor, get to know your local cashier, etc... build relationships not based on how it will serve "me"... of course, this is just my opinion.
Al anon and coda teaches the fullness of let them.
Schools still today have no idea how to handle and HELP students with ADHD. It’s sad. I want to SO badly say to this parent, get your kid tested! But we cannot do this. I am a teacher AND I have a child with this diagnosis. So I Know!
Great❤
Respectfully, to a certain extent, I found there to be some mixed messages in this.
Interesting interview. WAY too many commercial interruptions.
Get TH-cam premium if you can afford it
So let them means they can do whatever they want. Take advantage, manipulate, lie. My husbands daughter is 53, she gets evicted, many times, Calle him only when she needs something , gives him guilt trips, she’s now moved into our yard in a trailer because he lets her!! I’m right in the middle of it again and again. She will not ever grow up, he complains but rescues her every time. It is right her with me and I am so angry. This keep happening, year after year. So do I let her use us ? Take our money? Take our sleep??? Do I say let them destroy his life and my life too??
My only critique so far is Mel talking about silent treatment being childish. It feels a little like gaslighting. What if the silent treatment is the person going "let them" to you, not wanting to deal with your uncontrollable nonsense. To call them childish is actually childish. They're not doing what I want, which is engagement, so I'll insult them.
We need to let them song. Lol.
Al-Anon 101 ❤
Very buddhist philosophy❤
Yes it’s intended to your children
Nothing new here. “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway”? Just rehashed self-help and presented as something remarkable. Kind of irritating.
Nothing is really new: most Psychology goes back to Buddhism. Yet most people don't have much insight into their brain's operation. So the more people trying different ways to promote such education the better inho.
@@davidborehamExactly!! Thank you!
Why does it irritate you that she is helping so many people? I ask this with kind intent. Your feelings are very valid of course. I have found through a life of depression and anxiety that I need to hear things in a certain way. Mel has spoken to me for two years now in a way no one else has. She has a way of connecting with me and making me feel I can implement theories.
Let people revealed who they are
Let Them Go - Turns to Let Them.....................
❤
Plagiarism. In classic self-proclaimed guru fashion, no recognition for its true source. Shame on you Mel. You had the opportunity to give someone the credit they deserved, but you wanted it ALL for yourself.
I'm not disagreeing with you and am genuinely curious - is there a person/people doing research related to the content of the book?
If you have any recommendations, I'd love to check out the source.
If you listen to the last part of this video, Mel gives credit for this theory going back many years. For example, she credits Martin Luther King for one. She has put a different face on it to make it easy for people to remember and implement. I have listened to Mel for two years and she helped me out of deep depression and anxiety. She spoke to me like no one else. I personally care more about how many people she is helping. I don’t say this with any malicious intent - why not Let Them do what she is doing. You can’t control what you believe her intent is. So what if she is becoming popular and probably making alot of money. She is still doing something very good for the many.
Maybe let yourself not listen. This interview with Katie resonated with me, especially the discussion around unhappiness anger and fear. I seem to default to anger and I wonder if you do as well. I'm trying to recognize and understand my triggers as well. I'm having trouble with 22:58 our divisive politics and the let them attitude may be the best i can do for now.
Timestamp 19 or so.
Mel still has a lot of stress in her. This has to be reflected in, i.e., her sex.
Build a rich adult relationship life and navigating all other areas becomes vastly easier.
Thankfully Mel is helping people develop life skills to do just what you said. We all learn differently and some of us need a little help getting there.
It's not right
But it's okay
I'm gonna make it anyway (Make it anyway)
Pack your bags up and leave (Get up and leave)
Whitney talking about Bobby.
@feedback5000 yes, old school let them. I can feel both her strength and pain, listening to her music ❤️❤️🩹💔
@@feedback5000 I just realized I have more 'let them' female power songs in my Playlist. This one, I love:
Låt dem hata vi bara firar
Låt dem hata vi bara firar
Babblar om La Colombiana
Ingen av dem har nån talan
Kommer aldrig va som oss
Låt dem falla
De hatar på min kvalitet
Har så mycket driv man kan tro det är skevt
Ingen av dem har nån chans
Låt dem hata låt dem falla
Alla de bara skjuter blankt
Jag lovar nåt najs
Lover nåt najs när jag
Vänta vänta vänta
Skål ikväll här för min hype
Och de framstegen jag gjort
Ni är små har inget life
Men ni vet jag tänker stort
Fattar ej varför ni spelar ni vill ha respekt
Leker att ni är favela synar er direkt
Why not start by giving credit where it's due. To CASSIE PHILIPS!!!!!!!
I have no respect for your channel. You participate in attacking people in disinformation campaigns and work with some of the slimmest people on social media. Yuck - grow some integrity..
Oprah is no longer the Guru
She's a grifter profiting off of someone else's ideas. Extremely disappointed with her lack of integrity on this. 👎
Unfortunately, Couric is blue.
❤
❤