Best HFY Stories: Hold The Mustard

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 144

  • @Ottstop
    @Ottstop 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +87

    And here Net Narrator Presents: the authors barely disguised fetish

  • @djbbdoedubstep
    @djbbdoedubstep 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

    Gotta admit. Out of all the stories ive listened to on this channel, of all the humorous, all the evilest, all the saddest, and all the craziest, this one has to be the most cursed ive ever listened to 😂😂

  • @Primearch-GG
    @Primearch-GG 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +39

    And from that day forth, all human condiments come with a galactic common warning about using the containers as "medical containers".

    • @FreedomGoat79
      @FreedomGoat79 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @BudTheStud
    @BudTheStud 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Ever since I discovered HFY, I have seen a lot. Humans are Super Man, guy sleeps with a dragon, Humans know how to cook, guy turns into a dungeon, Humans have the best military, etc. But this....this is something new

  • @majnabunny
    @majnabunny 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +30

    And suddenly i feel vindicated that I don't like mustard on my sandwiches

    • @FreedomGoat79
      @FreedomGoat79 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      😂😂😂

  • @MissScheera
    @MissScheera 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    My only thought... Did anyone tell the rest of the humans, not to use the mustard?

  • @biggsdarklighter0473
    @biggsdarklighter0473 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +42

    What in the actual fuck!?

    • @Dareski
      @Dareski 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      My thought exactly...

    • @FreedomGoat79
      @FreedomGoat79 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      😂😂😂😂

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Except... there was no actual fuck... 0.0

    • @samuelramirez4985
      @samuelramirez4985 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      ikr most people use a shampoo bottle insted

  • @kdmbigpig
    @kdmbigpig 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +17

    Arrrre,the original red dwarf, when they travel to an alternate universe and Lister has a one night stand and gets pregnant lol

    • @SymbioteMullet
      @SymbioteMullet 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      A one night stand with his alternate universe self...

    • @Mustangofold
      @Mustangofold 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Stuff happens when you follow through on go Fing yourself while out drunk.

  • @StoryTaleBooks
    @StoryTaleBooks 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    I keep seeing your subscriber count going up and up. I am so freakin' jealous, you are a great narrator. Hope to be as big as you one day. I hope this channel finds a way to being your full-time career if it's not already.

    • @DrunknGen1us
      @DrunknGen1us 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Took a peak at your channel
      U got yourself another one
      I look forward to your work

    • @Struthio_Camelus
      @Struthio_Camelus 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I've also checked your channel. I'm in, too.

    • @0MarkHunter
      @0MarkHunter 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You got your self a new subscriber,

    • @StoryTaleBooks
      @StoryTaleBooks 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I did not expect this but thank you for subbing! I'll try to avoid getting subs from other people's videos but hey it all worked out in the end.

    • @Struthio_Camelus
      @Struthio_Camelus 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@StoryTaleBooks This won't take any rice out of NN's bowl.

  • @heldermartins8785
    @heldermartins8785 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Ahhh, this was entertaining as hell!! Very good story.

  • @lucybrimstone3193
    @lucybrimstone3193 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

    My immediate thought was ‘oh, he’s trans’

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I mean still could be, considering the gestation is happening in the stomach, this situation is gender neutral for humans. ^.^
      (which makes all the people crying about it being woke literally just outing themselves as homophobes)

    • @morgankuikka4940
      @morgankuikka4940 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@Edmar_Thorn yes because people complaining about mens getting pregnant means they are "homophobic" not like there wasn't a whole movement about "men can get pregnant too" or "men can have a period too".
      People being tired of this kind of stuff doesn't make them any phobic, it makes them tired.
      And calling everyone opinion you don't like a phobe or an ist doesnt help either because there are people who are genuinly homophonic or racist, but idiots making mountains from mole hills is muddling the water, same with the anti woke crowd, but they at least have a reason in the current day since the last few years have been just getting beaten over the head by forced inclusion to the point any inclusion feels forced.

  • @lancer2204
    @lancer2204 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +15

    and I would have sworn it was the "mayo" that caused it :P

    • @lupaswolfshead9971
      @lupaswolfshead9971 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      nah thats macdonalds burgers lmfao

    • @spudthepug
      @spudthepug 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That was my guess.

  • @konekillerking
    @konekillerking 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Really, why. I mean why. Stopped when I got to the “ swung that way.” It’s only recently that it’s the center of everything.

  • @DavidVincent-f5l
    @DavidVincent-f5l 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    I kinda want to know how some of the famous Star Trek doctors from the series would think of this situation.

  • @DreadedOne
    @DreadedOne 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

    I'm never eating mustard again.

  • @metaempiricist
    @metaempiricist 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    And all of a sudden a self insert replete with identity glazing.

  • @xxKillgorxx
    @xxKillgorxx 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Ok, I can't finish this story. I'm only halfway through, and this author is describing everything but the dang story.

  • @jdtheone
    @jdtheone 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Ticks all the boxes weird, strange, humans, aliens and a big wtf at the end 😳 🤦‍♂️🤣

  • @sleeping2696
    @sleeping2696 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    He ate a come sandwich

  • @boogrs55
    @boogrs55 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    i, a mustard hater, now feel justified

  • @WayneRedelinghuys
    @WayneRedelinghuys 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Ok, so the author of this story is gay and reaaaaaaally wants a baby of his own. Dude my heart goes out to you.

  • @chispychisp1690
    @chispychisp1690 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I have so many ideas now
    I NEED MORE CREATIVE IDEAS

  • @spudthepug
    @spudthepug 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    As a gay Marine, I’m howling with laughter!

  • @stonewallbang1220
    @stonewallbang1220 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I didn't expect to see Mpreg show up today but its a welcome change

  • @michaelread539
    @michaelread539 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Delightful!

  • @DageLV
    @DageLV 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Nut flavoured mustard...

  • @sagi21
    @sagi21 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Handsome Jack? Borderlands reference?

  • @paulgreen2416
    @paulgreen2416 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

    That mustard turned out to be mayo 😅

  • @anathardayaldar
    @anathardayaldar 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    But he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  • @Mage_in_training
    @Mage_in_training 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Well. This was certainly... something lol

  • @randyl8979
    @randyl8979 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    So glad I despise mustard.

  • @Neo1708.
    @Neo1708. 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I ... don't believe it; I called it beforehand! Lol

  • @noneofyourbuisness1679
    @noneofyourbuisness1679 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Alright, I’ll be that guy. New series?

  • @idem0david
    @idem0david 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    That was not virgin mustard…

  • @darthnpc5784
    @darthnpc5784 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Um, yeah, Mmmm, allrighty then...
    That was diffrent.

  • @Shyster099
    @Shyster099 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I have to ask why we are a deathworld? We aren't all Austria or Florida or the arctic or the Congo or the desert or Russia! We have nice places! I just can't think of any.... Belgium?

    • @leothenomad5675
      @leothenomad5675 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      It's the earth as a whole, not specific places. There are some differences for why earth is considered a deathworld depending on the channel you are watching but there are three traits that seem to carry through regardless.
      1) Earths gravity is ridiculously high compared to most of the galaxy, so humans are stronger and more dense than everyone else, hence the reason you see a lot of "humans are terrifying" throughout these stories.
      2) Almost every other species in the galaxy are herbivores and consider humans predators because we are perceived in the galaxy at large as strictly carnivores.
      3) The "settled science" in the galaxy is that no sentient species can come from a deathworld, so when humans went out into the galaxy, other races assumed we were going to be vicious killing beast. Listen to the first two chapters of "The Nature of Predators" for a good example of this.

    • @lancer2204
      @lancer2204 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      "all Austria or Florida"
      You reverse channelling Dumb and Dumber?

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      New Zealand is pretty good, no natural predators, and the most dangerous thing here are other humans.
      With that said, it's HUMANS that are a large part of why Earth is a deathworld.

    • @Wichitan
      @Wichitan 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's the chocolate.

  • @75thranger3
    @75thranger3 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Good thing I never like mustard

  • @lordrynogaming1553
    @lordrynogaming1553 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    ...well thats a story

  • @billcook7285
    @billcook7285 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    GRRROOOOSSSSS! 🤮

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Agreed, never touched mustard, and after this, definitely never will. ^.^

  • @charleslahser2351
    @charleslahser2351 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    That was just weird.

  • @SmoochyRoo
    @SmoochyRoo 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I wouldn't mind being a surrogate mom if you know what I meaaannnnn 😊

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      With that PFP I know EXACTLY what you mean ^.^
      The problem here of course is surrogates usually know in advance what they're getting into. ^.^

  • @henrybialik8333
    @henrybialik8333 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    A gay space story. What next?

    • @BeeKisses
      @BeeKisses 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      You new here?

    • @tabicat.puccino7425
      @tabicat.puccino7425 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      lesbain magic

    • @kdmbigpig
      @kdmbigpig 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You only need to worry when it's a woke story 🫠

    • @tabicat.puccino7425
      @tabicat.puccino7425 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @@kdmbigpig honesly i dont mind a fantasy lesbian story

    • @SmoochyRoo
      @SmoochyRoo 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      A space straight story

  • @JosephKano
    @JosephKano 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Haha hilarious. Loved it.
    To rhe people going eugh woke etc, get over yourself.

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      IKR?
      Considering the entire situation could happen regardless of Jack's gender, all the people crying about woke are just outing themselves as homophobes. :/

  • @TralliE
    @TralliE 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    That's so fucking bad! XD Thanks for the story.

  • @bobdrooples
    @bobdrooples 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Skip

  • @bananabreadguy7960
    @bananabreadguy7960 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    3 things:
    1. WAT DA FAK
    2. I want my 30 minutes back
    3. WAT DA FAK

  • @RedRipperDragon
    @RedRipperDragon 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    You know, before all the woke wank bullshit these days, this would have been more of a funny story, hell this could easily be a episode on star trek or more likely Orville. And while it is still a entertaining if not fun story, i have to wonder if its woke nonsense because of what i said at the start.

    • @Ackalan
      @Ackalan 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I had a similar reaction, I couldn't really enjoy the story because I was waiting for some kind of political statement-twist, which was a shame because it was quite funny.

    • @Jszar
      @Jszar 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I figure that looking under the rocks for allegory is a waste of time. If an author wants one to be there, they’ll make it clear. If a reader wants one to be there, they’ll find a way to see it even if there isn’t one. And once somebody chases down that rabbit hole, they risk looking at Jurassic Park and deciding that it’s “woke” because some of the dinosaurs changed sex-after their damaged source genetics were patched with DNA from modern animals which do that. (Nature is wild.)
      Especially in science fiction, weird stuff is allowed to just be weird stuff.

    • @leothenomad5675
      @leothenomad5675 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      So its only "woke" because somebody else said so?

  • @anderspedersen9250
    @anderspedersen9250 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Okay normally I dont comment however, this video was difficult to listen to, this one HFY is not your best by far it was gross or maybe it was just hard to listen to, or maybe it is just me, I Don’t know what to say, one of my parts wants to say maybe don’t put some like this up again or maybe reading it before putting it up on youtube, I do know that you did read it before you put it on youtube, and I also know that somebody is going to hate my comment and that is okay, PS I like much of your videos well the others this one I don’t know about,

  • @Woodin_Woodstock
    @Woodin_Woodstock 7 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    unsubscribed

  • @michaelmay9655
    @michaelmay9655 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    It's a cute story if it was 'High School Musical 29, In Space, They Can't Hear You Sing'. But if that lot are the tip of the spear of our military, our species is doomed. However, they except everyone at 'Dylan Mulvaney's Space School of Suspension of Disbelief', where anybody is anything and anything can happen! Girls are boys and boys are girls, that guy might look 64 but he identifies as 15! And this is I. Hulk, zet just won the wrestling championship, feminine age 12-14! *Zey identifies as weighing 92 pounds...What do you mean there's only one part of 'him' that weighs 92 pounds?! You better mean zer self determination! Now zey are crying, we'll never get them out of the lgbqqiysghdbzx++ bath room!

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      You should probably see a doctor, I think you just had a stroke...

    • @michaelmay9655
      @michaelmay9655 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Stoke of Awesomeness... Er... Awesome! Hard typing with one hand, and the drole!... I mean drool....

  • @johnmac4769
    @johnmac4769 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Perfect story for the woke among us.

    • @leothenomad5675
      @leothenomad5675 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Nah, its just a funny sci-fi story, just because you don't like it doesn't make it "woke"

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Oh no.. are you feeling threatened because the story had two married men in it? /s

    • @johnmac4769
      @johnmac4769 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@leothenomad5675 Just my opinion. Hope you are not offended.

    • @johnmac4769
      @johnmac4769 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Edmar_Thorn Just expressing my opinion. Hope it does not offend you. Just don't like it.

    • @leothenomad5675
      @leothenomad5675 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@johnmac4769 Not offended at all, I just get a laugh out of you guys who do get so offended about anything gay related that you feel the need to make a comment about it.

  • @krevor4095
    @krevor4095 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Yep. "Woke Scifi" is just as bad, if not worse, than "standard Woke".
    The shear effort put into the story to pretzel as much in as possible is about the only thing that is of note. The only thing stunning about it was how stunningly bad it was. People really should have at least a modicum of knowledge if they're going to use something in their stories.

    • @sasud.5419
      @sasud.5419 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      This wasn't wok, but rather a short "yaoi" novella. mostly read by women ;).

  • @Trump1260
    @Trump1260 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Woke HFY, great...

    • @JosephKano
      @JosephKano 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Oh get over yourself.

    • @leothenomad5675
      @leothenomad5675 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      I knew one of you guys would show up complaining.

    • @Edmar_Thorn
      @Edmar_Thorn 14 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      you spelled great! :D' wrong