Mine had a complete emotional breakdown when I told her no, I would not be friends with her. I'm not going to be anybody's consolation prize or emotional pillow. Thanks for this great video! ✌🏽
@@kylieburton8023 I just want to know why they get so mad though. I broke up with someone last winter and asked if she wanted to stay friends. She said no, and I totally respected that and walked away. Like, they're not giving us what we need, why do we have to give them what they want? You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Period. It makes zero sense.
Same boat mate I've said 3 times let's just be out of each others lifes it's too hard for me staying in touch because I love her. But she gets so upset and says I want to be friends and see how things go but I can't promise anything. So confusing I've agreed to be friends because she's give me some hope. But I can see me getting a mug made out of me. I did loose her trust and do things to upset her so I do also have guilt. Never cheated though.
Coach Craig and Victoria were so right about the avoidant wanting friendship and the anxious one not wanting the friendship. It's what's happening between me and my ex. Based on our behaviours, but I'm trying to learn becoming a securely attached person after everything.
The only reason your ex wants to stay friends is for a backup plan plain an simple. Don't fall for it give them crickets! If you need a friend that bad go to summer camp.
OMG!!! Did I ruin my chances w my Ex? I mentioned the friend page to him so that we could still do the activities that we both LOVE- we r both in our 50's. He is used to being alone. & I am not. I thought by being friends & doing the activities (riding Harleys) he would help him know that in relationships, being friends would keep us together. HELP
It is essentially a downgrade, and this is the cold hard truth. A lot of men/women will put themselves in that position in hopes that something might change, but they rarely do. The best thing is to not comply and get on with our lives. If we want them back, they need to get a taste of our absence. Don't be their safety net.
Hello the do you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband girlfriend boyfriend crush within 48hours??????
when my ex left me I did everything to get her back but in vain I had to contact a great marabout masters from Benin to help me and he managed to improve my life as a couple
Exactly. Sorry, if you're not going to commit, and dont want a long term relationship- bye Felicia. They need to feel your absence to truly understand what they've lost.
Good for you it’s like the poor consolation prize. My last ex abruptly discarded me then said we can be friends. I think there’s a reason she had no quality friends in life. Most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in so I had no desire to carry that on as a friendship.
@@BabeeBlue0x once you have discovered your value, your integrity and your authenticity. It’s stunning to realise that your ex has really messed up losing you. Keep on growing and building the best you. They’ve lost so much!
I put myself in the friendzone with my ex, along with all the mistakes us dumpees make and it was miserable. One day, she droped the bomb that she hooked up with another man. Since then, I feel like something got disconnected inside of me, I don't know how to describe it in other proper way but feels like my capability of loving a woman got dried. I used to be a very empathic and loving man but that faded away ever since. So gentlemen, if you want your partner back romantically, don't put yourselves in such situation.
SAME .. he drained me, built himself up with all I gave him (my entirety), and then broke me, not once but twice a break-up..it’s devastating! No way can one be friends with an ex for your self respect and/or self-dignity, as well as them taking you for granted, and thinking they can continue to do this to you since you allow it (it’s all about being high-value). They want to keep you around as a back up plan. I learned the hard way😞😖😢 .. I agree with you 💯
@@whoareyou4565 I really feel you, everything's gonna be fine, one day at a time trust yourself. Sometimes we must walk through hell to learn important life lessons. Stay strong.
@@SantiXiAmaruAMENNNNNNNNNNNN! THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING MY FRIEND. PEOPLE PUT IN WORK FOR EVERYTHING ELSE. BUT A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO WORK BY ITSELF IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE. IT'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT AND SOMETIMES IT AIN'T EASY.
My girlfriend just dumped me and wants to be friends. And I told her no of cause. I’m not looking for a friend in my ex. If she doesn’t want to be with me, it’s time to move on. She just need me for support and I’m not gonna do that. I will move on and she can go do her and I will do me.
They want to stay friends because they want validation and backup plans. My ex wanted to stay friends. But she's "friends" with all her exes and routinely cycles back to this guy or that guy (sadly, including me once) after she breaks up with whomever she's toying with at the moment.
Currently dealing with the same situation. Never will accept friendship with my ex or her being friends with her ex's (point of contention why the relationship hasn't been successful). Trying to make a clean break and move on... trying times.
Great timing. I told my ex wife that I didn’t want to be just friends with her a couple of weeks ago and she told me that’s all she had to offer and I’d have to look elsewhere. She said she was upset I was ruining our friendship. We’ve been apart 20 years, but have mostly stayed close although I’ve never stopped loving her. She got remarried, had 3 kids in addition to our son. I’m very close with those children. Anyhow, I told her today that I wasn’t interested in being just friends today, that I only wanted a romantic relationship with her. I told her to let me know if she changes her mind. She told me that’s all she has to offer, so we can’t be friends and goodbye. Tough day!!!!!!
You'll notice that all of the reasons stated in this video are focused on making your ex feel better after they dumped you. Why would anyone want to do that?
I’ve been watching Craig’s videos for the past months. They have been helping with the end of this 5yr relationship I had. Yes 5yrs on an off. Last few years things got difficult and here came the “we should be friends talks” I finally sent the text it’s either romantic because that’s all I want or nothing! And they just simply said friendship and sex is all they had to offer. So I let them know that we are done. If they ever feel different they can let me know but just being on the back burner doesn’t cut it for my life.
agree. There's no reason to stay "friends" with someone, once you break up. The only person who benefits- is the person dumping you. Because they know you have feelings for them- and they want to continue USING YOU.
It’s insanely narcissistic, they are dumping you, knowingly hurting you but asking you to stick around as a “friend”? What? It’s all reputation management.
THIS IS A GREAT VIDEO .. great coaching on this issue .. I learned the hard way!!! LMAOO .. “Drop dead” “all her exes are in prison” 😆😂🤣 .. LOVE the sense of HUMOR .. No way can one be friends with an ex after a break-up for your self respect and/or self-dignity, as well as them thinking they can continue to take you for granted, since you are sticking around to allow it (it’s all about being high-value). They want to keep you around as a back up plan because they know you’re awesome but they also want to play the field (thinking the grass is greener when it never is!) .. People’s hearts, and emotions, are not to be toyed with .. refuse the friendship because you were their best friend and lover, yet they chose to throw that away!
I am a gay female and my ex just asked me the "friendship" question. I said " I would love to be friends but I am still in love with you" This was stupid of me because it was after 36 days of NO CONTACT and she broke it and contacted me. Here is the kicker, she is with another woman, who is a felon, on probation and has no car and hits women. They met while her and I were still together...or at least I think they did. She broke no contact with song lyrics that suggested she was waiting for me to make a grand gesture of some kind and come back. I never should have responded. When I did, she suggested the friendship bullshit and said she was still with this woman and as soon as I mentioned still loving her...she said "I thought we were past all that" HAHA! Easy to say when you are with another person and not alone and trying to figure out what the hell happened and how I ended up HERE.
👎🏾 For women, just block and delete; no “friendships”. There was this guy I was dating I really liked who acted so distant on our last date. I called it out, he said I was wrong and not appreciating his effort on the date, but I ended up being right. He wanted to continue going out with me but as “friends”. I flat out said “I can’t be friends with men. I have to keep moving forward. I wish you the best. Goodbye”. I haven’t seen or talked to him since, and I regret nothing, and it’s not because I’m expecting him to come back. I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. I’m not going to give some guy the social status of having a woman on his arm. I’m not going to end up being a friends with benefits, especially if I am the one risking getting pregnant. I’m not going to be someone’s placeholder or backup option. It’s a waste of time. I only make friends with women anyways.
Wow ex just ask me this friends with no sex just friends I told her no she got mad and said she have a man I said your man should be your friend not me
This is a pretty class video on this topic. I told my ex I'm not friends with exes at the breakup, and she already knew I was never friends with exes. I went NC straight off. She has been reaching out a few times in the last month, at one point asking for a catch up. I've arranged a meet up and seeing her for drinks tomorrow at 7pm; she'll be driving for 40mins to get there so it's a bit of an effort on her part. I'm hoping that this all means she's not going to be bothering trying to friendzone me all these things considered. I'm not sure how much clearer it could have been.
@@lol-gm9xj I agree. My ex- boyfriend has been texting me and I told him the same as the guy you replied to. I however, choose to not ignore his texts which actually have been quite sincere. I let him know I'm okay and mirror his texting style and end it. I respond not super quickly which I'm literally busy with starting a new job soon, caretaking for my mother, and just taking care of getting ME together especially after loosing my father. Therapy is your friend really. 🤷🏽♀️ Anyway, I agree with you. My ex and I got along great and I still think he's my person just with some issues that have nothing to do with me he is getting professional help with 🙏. I'm not his friend but, I can be receptive, empathic and kind with boundaries.
@@frankdique8799 Glad you asked. As of last time, we have seen each other again for a daytime date which we hooked up in again, and she asked me over later on that same day when I left to spend the night with her after I got home, which I did. We've planned a 3 day camping trip away for next week and she's now saying things like 'we are seeing each other and dating', so she's starting to drive things further from that first meet
@@GoldenbanjoDJ wow! That's great news. Keep watching Craig so you don't mess it up. 🤷🏽♀️ He has slot of Intel on this including when you get back together. Although, prefer a my man to lead ( not a sub at all)... Just follow her lead and mirror her a bit. Learn her's and your attachment styles and good luck 🤞.
I have just told my ex i don't want to be friends ... im only interested in a romantic connection.... We split very amicably NO DRAMA ... ok i tried to persuade her a little .... now into no contact .... Honestly a weight has been lifted
If you say "sure, we're friends" but then don't care for the friendship and let THEM do the work, it sounds to me like a better strategy than just saying NO, because that NO could scare them off for good if they are not confident. I wouldn't want to scare my ex from talking to me or feel too rejected. He offered his friendship after 3 months of no contact, so I said yes - and now it's his job to reach out and fight for the "friendship" he wants... Wondering why I'm not chasing anymore even though I'm open to communication might make my ex realise that he still has feelings for me and wants more than this one sided friendship... Let me add: we have been long distance, so meeting up without being together is very unlikely. I think the option for him to be in touch without committing RIGHT AWAY could be key What do you think, Craig? If you are doing it right staying in touch and DON'T CHASE AT ALL - couldn't it work out?
@@rwentfordable We are talking everyday and actively working on getting back together, but within the past 9 months I had to go back into no contact again for 5 months You can trust Craig, no contact is the best way that gives you the best chances
he used me, I dumped him, he said we should be friends, I said: off course we could stay friends...... the next day: I ghost him 😂 I lost count how many times he reached out to me and I remain silence. the more he reached out the more I get disgusted.
Could never be friends with my ex fiancee even though when she dumped me after nearly 7 years together she still wanted to be friends.It is a kop out She was my best friend too and the love of my life.If people do me a wrong in my eyes I do not want them in my life and I did not want to break up.I still love her and would have her back in an instant.
My ex gave me the friendship talk yesterday. He doesn't want to accept my boundary of not being friends with exes or previous dates; I told him I was open to a relationship. I still care about him and don't know what to do.
Is it too late if I said I was okay with being friends/id try but now I just want to go because I want to be romantic and I'm not gonna settle for platonic relationship when it's clearly romantic
my recent ex is an avoidant and she keeps saying to me how happier she is since weve seperated but next thing i know it here she is out of nowhere blowing my phone up its just annoying at this part its frustrating that all of my ex,s come back except for the one that i actually want back in my life.
I cheated on my ex. But she still wants to be friends. I don’t know why someone would think it be a good idea especially after being betrayed 😞😞. I don’t know if it’s for closure
Its so terrible when your ex wants to be friends with you, and although you dont want to, you see them everyday because either you study or work with them. It happened to me a few years ago, thank God I found this Channel because I really needed some sort of guidance to put myself together and "resist" the friendship my ex wanted to have with me at all cost 😂😂
So when you tell your ex you’re not interested in being friends and the conversation dies. Do you just go back into no contact? After 3 months of no contact she reached out to tell me she was sorry “crying” about how her boyfriend just left her. She wanted me to come over and have sex. We talked for about 3 days and she pitched the friendship. I respectfully and calmly said no. She insisted for about a day and a half and I just let the convo die. What’s next for me?
I am not friends with any of my exes. They have become acquaintances. If I happen to run into them in a public place, I will be polite. But I will not hang out with them, call or text. There is a reason they are exes. It also makes it very difficult In starting a new relationship with someone else. I also don’t date men that are still friends with their exes. I don’t want him to run to her whenever we have a problem. I don’t want to have to wonder if he is having sex with her whenever he spends time with her. Because in a man’s mind just being friends with someone includes sex.
When avoidant ex didn’t give his time to me, me anxious type said just wanna be friends then, and he was pissed that I gave up on him. And I become his phantom ex, several on and offs with him, we are always attracted to each other but we’re very different. And I found out he still liking his exs ig posts and sometimes talk to them. This is a deal breaker.
We broke up because while we have firey passion, attraction and love each other, I asked for a commitment and he said he didn’t feel what he’d need to to take it to the next level. But said he wants me in his life and to still be good friends. I thought about it and decided no contact was the only way to go. He’d suggested we go to lunch. How do we go from two years of a highly sexually charged (long distance which is why I didn’t ask for commitment sooner) relationship to … lunch. I can’t do it. And I don’t know how he thought he could do it, either. It would be a disaster. We’d end up sleeping together for sure. And leave myself open to heartbreak. In or out, Buddy. Not both.
What do you do if your ex still texts and calls usually everyday and still tells you that she loves you? I don’t want to be easily accessible but then I don’t want to ignore her.
If they throws that “friends” s*t and they don’t even bother to talk to you, that’s pure bs and they just want to play you. Don’t do it! They don’t come back
Hey Craig! Dumpee here. I did a silly mistake and asked to be good friends a couple hours after the BU message ( I was emotional at the time). Reflecting back now from doing NC (1 month now, including 1x breadcrumb from her at day 10 which didn't go anywhere after I responded to it) and being able to structure my thoughts I now know I do not want to be just friends. I know what I want now, a relationship. She didn't message back after my acknowledgement text of the breakup to say yes to being friends so I assume she too also doesn't want to be just friends. If that topic ever does come up with a genuine attempt by her to reconnect, I will be clear with what it is I want. Main focus for me now is well... ME!! Working on me feels great :)
Coach can you do more success stories! Been binge watching your past ones, but would be great to see some newer ones for those going through a breakup right now (me!!).
Sorry to hear that you’re going through a breakup but honestly all success stories do is keep you hoping in a loop. It’s better to break away from those kinds of vids
@@face2799 Not because to get an ex back, a lot of the ones he shares are success stories where people pushed through the pain and did the work. I like them because they are inspiring and against all odds, they were able to pick themselves up and become a completely new person.
We dated a Total of 2.5 years.. Ex and I got back together and dated for 15 months it was amazing but the back end was a little rough with random arguments.. we worked together and I think that made things worse… she broke up with me in February of 2022! I went into NC then a week later on Valentine’s Day she reaches out wanting to talk etc.. told her I wasn’t ready.. two weeks later we meet up and talk and it’s good then randomly we mutually started making out.. I went to Europe the next day with my family for 2 weeks! I come back and she’s wanting to hang out but deep down I was confused cause I wanted to give you space.. we had sex a couple of times and it was amazing! She texted me saying That’s why last week was different 😪 idk I feel bad bc I want you to be happy but we gotta move on a little too yk. We can’t just sit in this relationship some more. I’m confused because she also invited me late December for a cruise for her bday and wanted to share a room! And in January I’m going to Italy for culinary school and she said she wants to visit me .. now she’s like I wanna be friends and take it slow… any idea ?
My ex said we are not friends but she calls just to tell me what's going on in her life. She even said I wanted to let let you know what was going on with me
what does it mean if they ended things, so you did not contact and then they reach out saying they miss you but want to be friends. im in a weird situation becausee we dated, I got a temporary internship 5 hours away, I thought it wouldn't be big deal cause its only 3 months, then he eventually ended things, now keeps saying how much he misses me but we couldn't date again anyway cause I leave in a couple months. im fine with the temporary long distance but I don think he is. should we still just not be friends
he told me he wanted to be friends right after he broke up with me. we never got intimate and only dated for two months officially. he told me he still likes me and loves me as a person and would still like me in his life (we could never get to the point of love because we have different core fundamentals for a relationship that made us feel like the other didn’t care) but i really was attracted to him and cared deeply for him. he tries to stay in contact with me but i’ve noticed he still wants to know what i’m up to, kind of keeping tabs. i’m debating whether i should stay in contact because i don’t think he can just be my friend based on the fact that he has jealousy issues and it seems like he wants to be intimate with me. i do think with time, i could be just his friends i am just not sure if he could truly do the same
What do i do when my boyfriend breaks up with me over his insecurities amd we live together and suggests that we van be homie lover friends but wants us to be honest if we start seeing someone else?
The thing I've learned from my experience is that you'll never truly be in the friendzone with an ex. There are some cases where that does happen, but it also depends on how serious the relationship was. If it was short term or you were friends before you dated the person, then yeah, it's possible. Or if you were in an open relationship or just boyfriend and girlfriend, it's also possible. If you were engaged or married, it's just going to be awkward. Usually one of two things will happen, eventually both parties with permanently cut ties or get back together because certain boundaries are going to be crossed, and the idea of both parties dating other people will lead to jealousy. I was friends with an ex, and that friendship didn't last. It was awkward, and our new relationships failed because we weren't fully over each other. So we just eventually decided to get back together.
I thought it was weird that my Ex would mention in the beginning of getting to know one another that if we ever broke up hopefully friendship would remain. I told her I couldn't be friends if that happened. I always felt as though after telling me that she had one foot in and one foot out. Then of course the break up happened and then she said I would like to be friends but with all the emotions involved I don't think it's a good idea. Also, told me I would be friendzoned like it was something bad to her to have happen to me.
He asked to be friends a handful of times and then still wanted to engage sexually in the friend season. Then say I love you but not willing to commit. Oh well I have to let this shit go and rip his security from him. We were pregnant and then loss the baby. What a roller coaster
I stayed friends with an ex that broke up with me for a while. Neither of us wanted to get back together and we didn’t. I know heaps of people who have done it. I grew up in a small country town, it’s common. Sometimes you realise that the romantic relationship won’t work out but still value each other in a platonic way.
My ex just went and asked people to keep an eye on me he did care he might still who knows it's been a year and abit , he's still in a relationship it's been a year he met her 5months after he left our almost two years relationship not sure if it's a rebound not really caring that much if it is or isn't all I know is he didn't give enough time to let himself heal,but that's on him I have grown,gained mentally, physically all I really want in my life now is peace ☮️, I'm fine if I don't find someone I just want to focus on me & making me happy 🙂
@@Dankiest nah it definitely isn't long enough to get over someone, however the thing is, it is important for him to get over me,if I ever want him back that's a big of though,you can't heal with out dealing with the emotions of a last relationship, it is impossible unless he is a Munk,so it will catch up with him eventually, I'm honestly not to fussed though, I just want peace in my life that is it,I dislike hostility between myself and others.
It's the base. The start. Then you add to it. You can't go back to just friends if both people don't want that. Your value was upgraded at some point but then it is taken away at the breakup.
My case is kinda complicated, we broke up cause we have different goals. I still love him, and he wants to be friend after we broke up. The things is, he keeps giving attention and helps in need even without including sex. He still cares about me and treat me good. He said he can be my older brother, since my father just passed away last month so he wants to be there for me. But besides that, I know he is starting to date . I really want to stay away cause I still have feelings for him and it hurts knowing he is looking dor another girl who has same goal as him.
Now I understand why a lot of gays in my LGBTQ+ community date each other’s exes in their friend circles. It can get so messy. I used to work with two coworkers who remained close friends despite having romantic history together. One of them was jealous of the other because he slept with my ex, who was also my coworker 😅
He asked to be friends and I told him that we could be friendly but not be friends. We broke up cuz he wasn't ready to date again, no real issues as it was new. Let him know we could try again in the future if he wants, but obvs I'm not gonna sit around waiting and hoping :) gonna focus on my hobbies and work for now
Unless there is no more bad feelings and both moved on even if it’s an anxious avoidant style. Once they heal and move on then they are ok to keep an acquaintance type or relationship civil maybe not really friends by actions. Even if avoidant wants it you don’t really give the same attention or benefits to them so they can see the difference between you then and now. So even if you stay connected they don’t have you the same way and still can loose you to someone else. But like you are saying it time is needed and no contact is great to heal and move on! After some time if they keep reaching out and have something significant to say then you can assess what’s best for you.
Great video! Thanks for reaffirming what I have always believed since I saw the movie When Harry Met Sally: Billy Crystal’s famous line: “men and women cannot truly be friends because a man will always want to have sex with a woman he finds attractive.” To which Meg Ryan replies: “so you’re saying you CAN have a friendship with a woman who is unattractive?” And he says, “no, we pretty much wanna bang them too!” 😂 I’m not friends with any of my exes. I declined my recent ex’s offer to stay friends because he ended it becoz he didn’t feel ready for a long term committed relationship, he doesn’t see the other side of the coin that it’s too painful for the one who gets dumped and you feel powerless becoz they want your attention, but they don’t want to commit to you, it’s all on their terms. I told him that he needs to try to view it from my perspective that I’m the one hurting and he’s just leaving me with a friendship option and it’s just going to keep me hanging on/hoping for a future.
I haven’t replied back to my ex girlfriend since the breakup 65 days ago when she said that we could still be friends. Is that considered like an indirect/direct approach and is it too late to reply back?
Hi, thanks for a the great work that you do. I feel that there is a contradiction at some point. In the middle of the video Victoria said anxious people tended to wanna be friends more and then at the end it was the contrary. That avoidant people tended to want to be friends more when the anxious ones felt it was a downgrade. Could you explain this further please? Thanks 💙
Hello Maud :) Great observation! The reasoning behind both styles wanting friendship is different. The more anxiously attached desires friendship after a separation to avoid abandonment, whereas the more avoidantly attached desires friendship to avoid commitment. Hopefully this helps clarify things!
My husband emailed me and said, "We, can be good friends, nothing more. Nobody knows how the future, will unfold, but for now, we need to stay separated and be friends, no drama."
I would keep it cordial as he has gone to the next step with the other person. Is he still contacting you and is it related to the kid or will he also talk about you or romantically?
Yes he wanted to stay friend with me after ruining everything. His parents rejected me bcz im middle class. He couldnt value me..staying friend to do what..to ignore each other? Like he pity me..as a man being polite after breaking me in pieces and went on saying lets stay friend..is this a joke? Iv let go while loving him..money is everything for him his family..i was nothing for him that moment i felt that deep. Iv cut him off..unfriend on fb unfollow on insta deleting his number..thank you keep your friendship for someone else dr..im good without this too.
It broke my heart when my ex presented me to his girlfriend, he told me he is dating his co worker another Indian women, my ex works near my house at 7 Eleven, he is from India, unfortunately i cheated on him when he left out if state, his cousin would provoke me until i had sex with his cousin, i endes up regretting it because his cousin drop me too last year in 2023, sometimes i go shopping at his job but now im in no contact rule, i believe his cousin only used me to rullen my relationship with Manriar, im latina from California, its been a year now that he has been broken up with me, he broke up with me in 2023
@@adrij4961 hi, we got back together after 3 months no contact. She reached out with a letter. She was hot and cold after me showing old traits. We then broke up because she’s an avoidant and she couldn’t commit properly. Currently no contact again and hoping for the best. Although, I won’t take her back unless she truly changes her ways of communication 🙏
@@n8f12 thanks for the update. good for you. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out but I hope you continue to remember that you deserve someone who is willing to show up for you and communicate with you
Don’t be friends. It will hurt much more than you think. Don’t make the breakup easy on them
Mine had a complete emotional breakdown when I told her no, I would not be friends with her. I'm not going to be anybody's consolation prize or emotional pillow. Thanks for this great video! ✌🏽
I agree ,mine just got angry and upset.
@@kylieburton8023 I just want to know why they get so mad though. I broke up with someone last winter and asked if she wanted to stay friends. She said no, and I totally respected that and walked away. Like, they're not giving us what we need, why do we have to give them what they want? You don't get to have your cake and eat it too. Period. It makes zero sense.
@@atirpok3 hundred percent
@@lol-gm9xj makes sense
Same boat mate I've said 3 times let's just be out of each others lifes it's too hard for me staying in touch because I love her. But she gets so upset and says I want to be friends and see how things go but I can't promise anything. So confusing I've agreed to be friends because she's give me some hope. But I can see me getting a mug made out of me. I did loose her trust and do things to upset her so I do also have guilt. Never cheated though.
Coach Craig and Victoria were so right about the avoidant wanting friendship and the anxious one not wanting the friendship. It's what's happening between me and my ex. Based on our behaviours, but I'm trying to learn becoming a securely attached person after everything.
I think it’s selfish on their part to want to be friends . I told my ex absolutely not
+1>71>85>67>61>81
The only reason your ex wants to stay friends is for a backup plan plain an simple. Don't fall for it give them crickets!
If you need a friend that bad go to summer camp.
💀
It’s really simple And that’s what I was expecting to hear from this video lol it’s not rocket science
Lol... Good point
OMG!!! Did I ruin my chances w my Ex? I mentioned the friend page to him so that we could still do the activities that we both LOVE- we r both in our 50's.
He is used to being alone. & I am not. I thought by being friends & doing the activities (riding Harleys) he would help him know that in relationships, being friends would keep us together. HELP
Yep that’s why we go no contact!!!
It is essentially a downgrade, and this is the cold hard truth. A lot of men/women will put themselves in that position in hopes that something might change, but they rarely do. The best thing is to not comply and get on with our lives. If we want them back, they need to get a taste of our absence. Don't be their safety net.
Hello the do you need help to fix all kinds of problems in your relationship including getting your ex husband girlfriend boyfriend crush within 48hours??????
when my ex left me I did everything to get her back but in vain I had to contact a great marabout masters from Benin to help me and he managed to improve my life as a couple
+12048082234⏯️⏭️..
He is indeed a problem solve contact him!!!
Exactly. Sorry, if you're not going to commit, and dont want a long term relationship- bye Felicia.
They need to feel your absence to truly understand what they've lost.
When Love is Lost and more importantly loyalty and respect you can't be friends with that person
I think if you didn't enjoy the relationship ....you won't enjoy the friendship ✌️✌️
To "save face" and makes them feel better about their decision.
All my exes/guys I’ve dated have asked to stay friends, which I politely decline, and all but two have come back
Good for you it’s like the poor consolation prize.
My last ex abruptly discarded me then said we can be friends. I think there’s a reason she had no quality friends in life. Most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in so I had no desire to carry that on as a friendship.
Thank you 🙂 and to you too! You and I have clearly been doing the work and know our worth!
@@BabeeBlue0x once you have discovered your value, your integrity and your authenticity. It’s stunning to realise that your ex has really messed up losing you. Keep on growing and building the best you. They’ve lost so much!
Thank you 😊 it really is great growing and having a high value of yourself and especially when you stop looking through rose tinted glasses!
Who dumped who?
I put myself in the friendzone with my ex, along with all the mistakes us dumpees make and it was miserable. One day, she droped the bomb that she hooked up with another man. Since then, I feel like something got disconnected inside of me, I don't know how to describe it in other proper way but feels like my capability of loving a woman got dried. I used to be a very empathic and loving man but that faded away ever since. So gentlemen, if you want your partner back romantically, don't put yourselves in such situation.
@DTM absolutely, lesson learned. Thanks for your words 🙏🏻
SAME .. he drained me, built himself up with all I gave him (my entirety), and then broke me, not once but twice a break-up..it’s devastating! No way can one be friends with an ex for your self respect and/or self-dignity, as well as them taking you for granted, and thinking they can continue to do this to you since you allow it (it’s all about being high-value). They want to keep you around as a back up plan. I learned the hard way😞😖😢 .. I agree with you 💯
@@Dankiest Indeed, I appreciate your words amigo. I've seen some of Warren's videos but I'll check that out, thank you!
@@whoareyou4565 I really feel you, everything's gonna be fine, one day at a time trust yourself. Sometimes we must walk through hell to learn important life lessons. Stay strong.
No contact
if you are meant to be, you will be together no matter how much time has passed.
I want to believe this
It is not what is meant to be, but what you make to be. There is no "meant to be".
@@SantiXiAmaruAMENNNNNNNNNNNN! THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING MY FRIEND. PEOPLE PUT IN WORK FOR EVERYTHING ELSE. BUT A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO WORK BY ITSELF IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE. IT'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT AND SOMETIMES IT AIN'T EASY.
My girlfriend just dumped me and wants to be friends.
And I told her no of cause.
I’m not looking for a friend in my ex.
If she doesn’t want to be with me, it’s time to move on.
She just need me for support and I’m not gonna do that.
I will move on and she can go do her and I will do me.
They want to stay friends because they want validation and backup plans. My ex wanted to stay friends. But she's "friends" with all her exes and routinely cycles back to this guy or that guy (sadly, including me once) after she breaks up with whomever she's toying with at the moment.
Currently dealing with the same situation. Never will accept friendship with my ex or her being friends with her ex's (point of contention why the relationship hasn't been successful). Trying to make a clean break and move on... trying times.
Sounds like narcissism.
Exactly. This is the ONLY reason people want to stay "friends".
She says she's friends with all her exes to try to guilt you into being her friend. Not worth it. Onward and upward.
Great timing. I told my ex wife that I didn’t want to be just friends with her a couple of weeks ago and she told me that’s all she had to offer and I’d have to look elsewhere. She said she was upset I was ruining our friendship. We’ve been apart 20 years, but have mostly stayed close although I’ve never stopped loving her. She got remarried, had 3 kids in addition to our son. I’m very close with those children.
Anyhow, I told her today that I wasn’t interested in being just friends today, that I only wanted a romantic relationship with her. I told her to let me know if she changes her mind.
She told me that’s all she has to offer, so we can’t be friends and goodbye.
Tough day!!!!!!
Same here, any update??
How are things now?
20 years though? You waited too long to walk away.
@@ciscohour5884 kid in the middle cant really walk away
You never stopped “loving” her. LOL
You'll notice that all of the reasons stated in this video are focused on making your ex feel better after they dumped you. Why would anyone want to do that?
@@biancadelarosa7986 You people are everywhere, go away.
I did. But moved on he is jackass. He wanted me to move in with his ex girlfriend! WTF condescending as hell!
I’ve been watching Craig’s videos for the past months. They have been helping with the end of this 5yr relationship I had. Yes 5yrs on an off. Last few years things got difficult and here came the “we should be friends talks”
I finally sent the text it’s either romantic because that’s all I want or nothing! And they just simply said friendship and sex is all they had to offer. So I let them know that we are done. If they ever feel different they can let me know but just being on the back burner doesn’t cut it for my life.
Staying friends is going against yourself. Bad idea. No no no
yep make it clear you want a relationship and not just be friends
So they’re basically for selfish n self serving reasons alone not because they’re looking out for the person dumped.
Damn. Another L for realtionships and “love” lol
Golden rule for me is unless there is a good reason to be friends then I don’t do the “let’s be friends thing”
@@abdurllerabdurller2774 bro your annoying as hell with this
Asking for friendship after romantic relationship is fully narcissistic
This person knows
Why?
I love this. They just cant let go of your supply.
agree. There's no reason to stay "friends" with someone, once you break up.
The only person who benefits- is the person dumping you.
Because they know you have feelings for them- and they want to continue USING YOU.
It’s insanely narcissistic, they are dumping you, knowingly hurting you but asking you to stick around as a “friend”? What? It’s all reputation management.
“You tell them to drop dead” 😆 👍🏼.
It's a no, not to be sorry, it helps you to move on. Things that come up staying friends it's no good...🙄
THIS IS A GREAT VIDEO .. great coaching on this issue .. I learned the hard way!!! LMAOO .. “Drop dead” “all her exes are in prison” 😆😂🤣 .. LOVE the sense of HUMOR .. No way can one be friends with an ex after a break-up for your self respect and/or self-dignity, as well as them thinking they can continue to take you for granted, since you are sticking around to allow it (it’s all about being high-value). They want to keep you around as a back up plan because they know you’re awesome but they also want to play the field (thinking the grass is greener when it never is!) .. People’s hearts, and emotions, are not to be toyed with .. refuse the friendship because you were their best friend and lover, yet they chose to throw that away!
I am a gay female and my ex just asked me the "friendship" question. I said " I would love to be friends but I am still in love with you" This was stupid of me because it was after 36 days of NO CONTACT and she broke it and contacted me. Here is the kicker, she is with another woman, who is a felon, on probation and has no car and hits women. They met while her and I were still together...or at least I think they did. She broke no contact with song lyrics that suggested she was waiting for me to make a grand gesture of some kind and come back. I never should have responded. When I did, she suggested the friendship bullshit and said she was still with this woman and as soon as I mentioned still loving her...she said "I thought we were past all that" HAHA! Easy to say when you are with another person and not alone and trying to figure out what the hell happened and how I ended up HERE.
Also I asked her how this new woman would feel about us being "friends" she didn't answer. Psycho
👎🏾 For women, just block and delete; no “friendships”. There was this guy I was dating I really liked who acted so distant on our last date. I called it out, he said I was wrong and not appreciating his effort on the date, but I ended up being right. He wanted to continue going out with me but as “friends”. I flat out said “I can’t be friends with men. I have to keep moving forward. I wish you the best. Goodbye”. I haven’t seen or talked to him since, and I regret nothing, and it’s not because I’m expecting him to come back.
I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me. I’m not going to give some guy the social status of having a woman on his arm. I’m not going to end up being a friends with benefits, especially if I am the one risking getting pregnant. I’m not going to be someone’s placeholder or backup option. It’s a waste of time. I only make friends with women anyways.
"Drop dead!" hahajahhaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️ having a sense of humor helps a lot!
Wow ex just ask me this friends with no sex just friends I told her no she got mad and said she have a man I said your man should be your friend not me
This is a pretty class video on this topic. I told my ex I'm not friends with exes at the breakup, and she already knew I was never friends with exes. I went NC straight off.
She has been reaching out a few times in the last month, at one point asking for a catch up. I've arranged a meet up and seeing her for drinks tomorrow at 7pm; she'll be driving for 40mins to get there so it's a bit of an effort on her part. I'm hoping that this all means she's not going to be bothering trying to friendzone me all these things considered. I'm not sure how much clearer it could have been.
@@lol-gm9xj I agree. My ex- boyfriend has been texting me and I told him the same as the guy you replied to. I however, choose to not ignore his texts which actually have been quite sincere. I let him know I'm okay and mirror his texting style and end it. I respond not super quickly which I'm literally busy with starting a new job soon, caretaking for my mother, and just taking care of getting ME together especially after loosing my father. Therapy is your friend really. 🤷🏽♀️
Anyway, I agree with you. My ex and I got along great and I still think he's my person just with some issues that have nothing to do with me he is getting professional help with 🙏. I'm not his friend but, I can be receptive, empathic and kind with boundaries.
@@lol-gm9xj It might not be. It is for me. It seemed to work yesterday anyway. Back together and taking it slow after hooking up ;)
NC works
What's the update???!!
@@frankdique8799 Glad you asked. As of last time, we have seen each other again for a daytime date which we hooked up in again, and she asked me over later on that same day when I left to spend the night with her after I got home, which I did. We've planned a 3 day camping trip away for next week and she's now saying things like 'we are seeing each other and dating', so she's starting to drive things further from that first meet
@@GoldenbanjoDJ wow! That's great news. Keep watching Craig so you don't mess it up. 🤷🏽♀️ He has slot of Intel on this including when you get back together. Although, prefer a my man to lead ( not a sub at all)... Just follow her lead and mirror her a bit. Learn her's and your attachment styles and good luck 🤞.
I have just told my ex i don't want to be friends ... im only interested in a romantic connection....
We split very amicably NO DRAMA ... ok i tried to persuade her a little .... now into no contact ....
Honestly a weight has been lifted
If you say "sure, we're friends" but then don't care for the friendship and let THEM do the work, it sounds to me like a better strategy than just saying NO, because that NO could scare them off for good if they are not confident. I wouldn't want to scare my ex from talking to me or feel too rejected. He offered his friendship after 3 months of no contact, so I said yes - and now it's his job to reach out and fight for the "friendship" he wants... Wondering why I'm not chasing anymore even though I'm open to communication might make my ex realise that he still has feelings for me and wants more than this one sided friendship...
Let me add: we have been long distance, so meeting up without being together is very unlikely. I think the option for him to be in touch without committing RIGHT AWAY could be key
What do you think, Craig? If you are doing it right staying in touch and DON'T CHASE AT ALL - couldn't it work out?
Are you both back together now?
@@rwentfordable We are talking everyday and actively working on getting back together, but within the past 9 months I had to go back into no contact again for 5 months
You can trust Craig, no contact is the best way that gives you the best chances
@@nathalieyoutube2340 Thanks for the update.
What if your friends with your ex but she contacts me every day. She left me and I believe she's in a rebound relationship
he used me, I dumped him, he said we should be friends, I said: off course we could stay friends......
the next day: I ghost him 😂
I lost count how many times he reached out to me and I remain silence. the more he reached out the more I get disgusted.
LMFAOO 😂
1 week before the BU my ex asked me “if we were to ever break up, would you still be my friend?”
Craig, you are making my day!!!I live for your channel!!!
Could never be friends with my ex fiancee even though when she dumped me after nearly 7 years together she still wanted to be friends.It is a kop out She was my best friend too and the love of my life.If people do me a wrong in my eyes I do not want them in my life and I did not want to break up.I still love her and would have her back in an instant.
We are in no contact more than 1month and she don't want to come back
My ex gave me the friendship talk yesterday. He doesn't want to accept my boundary of not being friends with exes or previous dates; I told him I was open to a relationship. I still care about him and don't know what to do.
They ask, it’s a matter of if you accept. You don’t have to be friends with anyone. Ex’s included.
Craig, you’re perspective is 100% right.
I love the coach’s. Here Craig and Victoria make me feel much better. After wTchi there videos
Is it too late if I said I was okay with being friends/id try but now I just want to go because I want to be romantic and I'm not gonna settle for platonic relationship when it's clearly romantic
What did you end up doing? I'm in the same situation
my recent ex is an avoidant and she keeps saying to me how happier she is since weve seperated but next thing i know it here she is out of nowhere blowing my phone up its just annoying at this part its frustrating that all of my ex,s come back except for the one that i actually want back in my life.
What if you broke up with them and they insist on being friends?
I’m in the friend zone and the ambivalence has lasted years. This video was helpful and interesting.
I cheated on my ex. But she still wants to be friends. I don’t know why someone would think it be a good idea especially after being betrayed 😞😞. I don’t know if it’s for closure
my ex said he hopes that we would stay friends well I changed my phone number
My ex girlfriend told me the same thing about a week after the breakup, but I haven’t replied back and it’s been 65 days since the breakup.
thank you so much. You're saving my life right now
Its so terrible when your ex wants to be friends with you, and although you dont want to, you see them everyday because either you study or work with them. It happened to me a few years ago, thank God I found this Channel because I really needed some sort of guidance to put myself together and "resist" the friendship my ex wanted to have with me at all cost 😂😂
Bro I was in that position 2 months ago 😭
So when you tell your ex you’re not interested in being friends and the conversation dies. Do you just go back into no contact? After 3 months of no contact she reached out to tell me she was sorry “crying” about how her boyfriend just left her. She wanted me to come over and have sex. We talked for about 3 days and she pitched the friendship. I respectfully and calmly said no. She insisted for about a day and a half and I just let the convo die. What’s next for me?
I am not friends with any of my exes. They have become acquaintances. If I happen to run into them in a public place, I will be polite. But I will not hang out with them, call or text. There is a reason they are exes. It also makes it very difficult In starting a new relationship with someone else. I also don’t date men that are still friends with their exes. I don’t want him to run to her whenever we have a problem. I don’t want to have to wonder if he is having sex with her whenever he spends time with her. Because in a man’s mind just being friends with someone includes sex.
When avoidant ex didn’t give his time to me, me anxious type said just wanna be friends then, and he was pissed that I gave up on him. And I become his phantom ex, several on and offs with him, we are always attracted to each other but we’re very different. And I found out he still liking his exs ig posts and sometimes talk to them. This is a deal breaker.
We broke up because while we have firey passion, attraction and love each other, I asked for a commitment and he said he didn’t feel what he’d need to to take it to the next level. But said he wants me in his life and to still be good friends. I thought about it and decided no contact was the only way to go. He’d suggested we go to lunch. How do we go from two years of a highly sexually charged (long distance which is why I didn’t ask for commitment sooner) relationship to … lunch. I can’t do it. And I don’t know how he thought he could do it, either. It would be a disaster. We’d end up sleeping together for sure. And leave myself open to heartbreak. In or out, Buddy. Not both.
What do you do if your ex still texts and calls usually everyday and still tells you that she loves you? I don’t want to be easily accessible but then I don’t want to ignore her.
Try work it out
Don’t give in easily but try to set a date and see what happens.
Fantastic Video. A lot more ‘depth’ on the subject than the usual fare.
If they throws that “friends” s*t and they don’t even bother to talk to you, that’s pure bs and they just want to play you. Don’t do it! They don’t come back
Hey Craig!
Dumpee here. I did a silly mistake and asked to be good friends a couple hours after the BU message ( I was emotional at the time).
Reflecting back now from doing NC (1 month now, including 1x breadcrumb from her at day 10 which didn't go anywhere after I responded to it) and being able to structure my thoughts I now know I do not want to be just friends.
I know what I want now, a relationship.
She didn't message back after my acknowledgement text of the breakup to say yes to being friends so I assume she too also doesn't want to be just friends.
If that topic ever does come up with a genuine attempt by her to reconnect, I will be clear with what it is I want.
Main focus for me now is well... ME!! Working on me feels great :)
Coach can you do more success stories! Been binge watching your past ones, but would be great to see some newer ones for those going through a breakup right now (me!!).
Sorry to hear that you’re going through a breakup but honestly all success stories do is keep you hoping in a loop. It’s better to break away from those kinds of vids
@@face2799 Not because to get an ex back, a lot of the ones he shares are success stories where people pushed through the pain and did the work. I like them because they are inspiring and against all odds, they were able to pick themselves up and become a completely new person.
@@ZoeyIndigoSky yeah I guess in that case it’s comforting to listen to then
We dated a Total of 2.5 years.. Ex and I got back together and dated for 15 months it was amazing but the back end was a little rough with random arguments.. we worked together and I think that made things worse… she broke up with me in February of 2022! I went into NC then a week later on Valentine’s Day she reaches out wanting to talk etc.. told her I wasn’t ready.. two weeks later we meet up and talk and it’s good then randomly we mutually started making out.. I went to Europe the next day with my family for 2 weeks! I come back and she’s wanting to hang out but deep down I was confused cause I wanted to give you space.. we had sex a couple of times and it was amazing! She texted me saying That’s why last week was different 😪 idk I feel bad bc I want you to be happy but we gotta move on a little too yk. We can’t just sit in this relationship some more. I’m confused because she also invited me late December for a cruise for her bday and wanted to share a room! And in January I’m going to Italy for culinary school and she said she wants to visit me .. now she’s like I wanna be friends and take it slow… any idea ?
Why not? He communicates everyday and we're still involved in each other's lives heavily. He just says we're not compatible.
If you want more from him that makes no sense to stay around but not get what you want.
My ex said we are not friends but she calls just to tell me what's going on in her life. She even said I wanted to let let you know what was going on with me
Bro Block this guy! Fuckin sayin same sh*t on every comment
My ex wife told me today. I hope someday we can be friends.
what does it mean if they ended things, so you did not contact and then they reach out saying they miss you but want to be friends. im in a weird situation becausee we dated, I got a temporary internship 5 hours away, I thought it wouldn't be big deal cause its only 3 months, then he eventually ended things, now keeps saying how much he misses me but we couldn't date again anyway cause I leave in a couple months. im fine with the temporary long distance but I don think he is. should we still just not be friends
he told me he wanted to be friends right after he broke up with me. we never got intimate and only dated for two months officially. he told me he still likes me and loves me as a person and would still like me in his life (we could never get to the point of love because we have different core fundamentals for a relationship that made us feel like the other didn’t care) but i really was attracted to him and cared deeply for him. he tries to stay in contact with me but i’ve noticed he still wants to know what i’m up to, kind of keeping tabs. i’m debating whether i should stay in contact because i don’t think he can just be my friend based on the fact that he has jealousy issues and it seems like he wants to be intimate with me. i do think with time, i could be just his friends i am just not sure if he could truly do the same
What do i do when my boyfriend breaks up with me over his insecurities amd we live together and suggests that we van be homie lover friends but wants us to be honest if we start seeing someone else?
Thanks Coach Craig and Victoria. I love this video and has given me answers that I needed to hear. Thank you very much from Australia. 😊🙏
Hello it's works I can't believe am with my love again after so many years of break-up
He is indeed problem a problem solve
How is it?
I’m from Australia
The thing I've learned from my experience is that you'll never truly be in the friendzone with an ex. There are some cases where that does happen, but it also depends on how serious the relationship was. If it was short term or you were friends before you dated the person, then yeah, it's possible. Or if you were in an open relationship or just boyfriend and girlfriend, it's also possible. If you were engaged or married, it's just going to be awkward. Usually one of two things will happen, eventually both parties with permanently cut ties or get back together because certain boundaries are going to be crossed, and the idea of both parties dating other people will lead to jealousy. I was friends with an ex, and that friendship didn't last. It was awkward, and our new relationships failed because we weren't fully over each other. So we just eventually decided to get back together.
What happens if you say you’ll be friends then you never meet up or speak after.
I thought it was weird that my Ex would mention in the beginning of getting to know one another that if we ever broke up hopefully friendship would remain. I told her I couldn't be friends if that happened. I always felt as though after telling me that she had one foot in and one foot out. Then of course the break up happened and then she said I would like to be friends but with all the emotions involved I don't think it's a good idea. Also, told me I would be friendzoned like it was something bad to her to have happen to me.
He asked to be friends a handful of times and then still wanted to engage sexually in the friend season. Then say I love you but not willing to commit. Oh well I have to let this shit go and rip his security from him. We were pregnant and then loss the baby. What a roller coaster
What if you’re trying to mend the relationship and fall back in love after a break up? Wouldn’t it be best to be friends and build from there?
If the goal is a relationship, calling yourself friends is a lie. Just be honest with eachother.
I stayed friends with an ex that broke up with me for a while. Neither of us wanted to get back together and we didn’t. I know heaps of people who have done it. I grew up in a small country town, it’s common. Sometimes you realise that the romantic relationship won’t work out but still value each other in a platonic way.
My ex just went and asked people to keep an eye on me he did care he might still who knows it's been a year and abit , he's still in a relationship it's been a year he met her 5months after he left our almost two years relationship not sure if it's a rebound not really caring that much if it is or isn't all I know is he didn't give enough time to let himself heal,but that's on him I have grown,gained mentally, physically all I really want in my life now is peace ☮️, I'm fine if I don't find someone I just want to focus on me & making me happy 🙂
@@Dankiest we were together for almost two years
@@Dankiest nah it definitely isn't long enough to get over someone, however the thing is, it is important for him to get over me,if I ever want him back that's a big of though,you can't heal with out dealing with the emotions of a last relationship, it is impossible unless he is a Munk,so it will catch up with him eventually, I'm honestly not to fussed though, I just want peace in my life that is it,I dislike hostility between myself and others.
Am I the only one who believes a friendship is the base of any love relationship?
I totally agree! I could totally see Craig and Victoria having the perfect relationship #perfectmatch
Yes, but that's not the point of this video.
It's the base. The start. Then you add to it. You can't go back to just friends if both people don't want that. Your value was upgraded at some point but then it is taken away at the breakup.
My case is kinda complicated, we broke up cause we have different goals. I still love him, and he wants to be friend after we broke up. The things is, he keeps giving attention and helps in need even without including sex. He still cares about me and treat me good. He said he can be my older brother, since my father just passed away last month so he wants to be there for me. But besides that, I know he is starting to date . I really want to stay away cause I still have feelings for him and it hurts knowing he is looking dor another girl who has same goal as him.
I told her : We are not friends.
Now I understand why a lot of gays in my LGBTQ+ community date each other’s exes in their friend circles. It can get so messy. I used to work with two coworkers who remained close friends despite having romantic history together. One of them was jealous of the other because he slept with my ex, who was also my coworker 😅
oh man 😅 messy indeed
Lol Gross. We call those homie hoppers
He asked to be friends and I told him that we could be friendly but not be friends. We broke up cuz he wasn't ready to date again, no real issues as it was new. Let him know we could try again in the future if he wants, but obvs I'm not gonna sit around waiting and hoping :) gonna focus on my hobbies and work for now
Unless there is no more bad feelings and both moved on even if it’s an anxious avoidant style. Once they heal and move on then they are ok to keep an acquaintance type or relationship civil maybe not really friends by actions. Even if avoidant wants it you don’t really give the same attention or benefits to them so they can see the difference between you then and now. So even if you stay connected they don’t have you the same way and still can loose you to someone else. But like you are saying it time is needed and no contact is great to heal and move on! After some time if they keep reaching out and have something significant to say then you can assess what’s best for you.
She wanted my frienship(we have daughter and son) i discoverd she lied to me and cheated. I send her to hell
Only speak with my children
They want a "sucker errands boy"
Thank you for this video, it’s helped me to move on.
Great video! Thanks for reaffirming what I have always believed since I saw the movie When Harry Met Sally: Billy Crystal’s famous line: “men and women cannot truly be friends because a man will always want to have sex with a woman he finds attractive.” To which Meg Ryan replies: “so you’re saying you CAN have a friendship with a woman who is unattractive?” And he says, “no, we pretty much wanna bang them too!” 😂
I’m not friends with any of my exes. I declined my recent ex’s offer to stay friends because he ended it becoz he didn’t feel ready for a long term committed relationship, he doesn’t see the other side of the coin that it’s too painful for the one who gets dumped and you feel powerless becoz they want your attention, but they don’t want to commit to you, it’s all on their terms. I told him that he needs to try to view it from my perspective that I’m the one hurting and he’s just leaving me with a friendship option and it’s just going to keep me hanging on/hoping for a future.
What I needed to hear today
Love watching you guys. Fun and cute. Of course helpful ! I like the different perspectives but prefermece on what you think is best.
I haven’t replied back to my ex girlfriend since the breakup 65 days ago when she said that we could still be friends. Is that considered like an indirect/direct approach and is it too late to reply back?
Hi, thanks for a the great work that you do. I feel that there is a contradiction at some point. In the middle of the video Victoria said anxious people tended to wanna be friends more and then at the end it was the contrary. That avoidant people tended to want to be friends more when the anxious ones felt it was a downgrade. Could you explain this further please? Thanks 💙
Hello Maud :) Great observation! The reasoning behind both styles wanting friendship is different. The more anxiously attached desires friendship after a separation to avoid abandonment, whereas the more avoidantly attached desires friendship to avoid commitment. Hopefully this helps clarify things!
Off topic lol but I love how you guys match your clothes in the videos'.
My husband emailed me and said, "We, can be good friends, nothing more.
Nobody knows how the future, will unfold, but for now, we need to stay separated and be friends, no drama."
Do I need to continue no contact?
We have kids together.
He moved out of the country and he had relationship with another woman and gave her a ring.
What would I say to him?
I would keep it cordial as he has gone to the next step with the other person.
Is he still contacting you and is it related to the kid or will he also talk about you or romantically?
Yes he wanted to stay friend with me after ruining everything. His parents rejected me bcz im middle class. He couldnt value me..staying friend to do what..to ignore each other? Like he pity me..as a man being polite after breaking me in pieces and went on saying lets stay friend..is this a joke? Iv let go while loving him..money is everything for him his family..i was nothing for him that moment i felt that deep. Iv cut him off..unfriend on fb unfollow on insta deleting his number..thank you keep your friendship for someone else dr..im good without this too.
Hey Craig these all things are happened with me in my first breakup i want to know can my ex come back again 2nd time
It broke my heart when my ex presented me to his girlfriend, he told me he is dating his co worker another Indian women, my ex works near my house at 7 Eleven, he is from India, unfortunately i cheated on him when he left out if state, his cousin would provoke me until i had sex with his cousin, i endes up regretting it because his cousin drop me too last year in 2023, sometimes i go shopping at his job but now im in no contact rule, i believe his cousin only used me to rullen my relationship with Manriar, im latina from California, its been a year now that he has been broken up with me, he broke up with me in 2023
Love you guys... thank you for everything you do xoxo 💓
hi craig, great video! my ex and i are going for coffee on sunday, is there any advice you could give me please?
thankyou in advance!
Yes. Go back and review all your workbook answers! That will help you a lot!
Any updates?
@@adrij4961 hi, we got back together after 3 months no contact. She reached out with a letter. She was hot and cold after me showing old traits. We then broke up because she’s an avoidant and she couldn’t commit properly. Currently no contact again and hoping for the best. Although, I won’t take her back unless she truly changes her ways of communication 🙏
@@n8f12 thanks for the update. good for you. I’m so sorry it didn’t work out but I hope you continue to remember that you deserve someone who is willing to show up for you and communicate with you
@@adrij4961 thank you that means a lot!
It’s true the only reason is for social status
Thanks for this. Very reinforcing and helpful. :-)
Staying friends doesn't make sense and it's counterintuitive if ex is in a live in committed relationship
Great as usual. Thank you 💗
I wanna know the story of why most of her exes are in jail for nonviolent crimes
I think you can be friends but cut all physical contact...
If we watch each other ig story.. will he think that we still friends?
Thank You for answering my current dilemma 😊