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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
- ADHD Dude provides parent training through the ADHD Dude Membership Site, in-person school-year programs, and summer camps. ADHD Dude is not gender-specific content.
𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗥𝘆𝗮𝗻 𝗪𝗲𝘅𝗲𝗹𝗯𝗹𝗮𝘁𝘁, 𝗟𝗖𝗦𝗪, 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗-𝗖𝗖𝗦𝗣
Ryan is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified School Social Worker, and father to a son with ADHD & learning differences. ADHD Dude is based in Tucson, Arizona.
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆:
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ADHD Dude is for educational purposes. I am not serving in a clinical capacity and cannot provide clinical consultation or free advice through TH-cam comments, email, etc.
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How will I convince my kid to 'clean up', when my kid won't admit to having lied?
They don't need to admit the lie, that's the point. You know they lied, they know they lied - there doesnt need to be a verbal admittance.
My son is super disrespectful to people inside the house and very polite outside. I hate the way he is downright demeaning to my mother (who also has adhd🙄) and doesn't believe in respectful demeanor. It's especially difficult when he behaves this way unprovoked. Also, instead of appearing under confident he appears overconfident and arrogant. He talks like he knows everything better than everybody
If those behaviors are reinforced with attention and/or emotional reactivity, that most likely gives him the motivation to continue. Also if there is "high giving/low expectations" in the home, that can certainly contribute to this type of behavior. I have videos on high giving/low expectations here, including the most recent one about flexibility that was released this week.
That’s exactly how I was a as a kid. I have adhd. I lied at everything for no reason. I don’t know why. I would lie about stupid stuff about brushing my teeth or saying I walked the dog when I didn’t. I also couldn’t go a day without arguing with my parents. I kinda got out of that faze. I still impulsive lie sometimes out stupid stuff. But no where near as much as a kid.
I’m pretty sure without your TH-cam channel (the membership site is good too) I would not understand any of my child’s behaviors and think I was raising a bad person. Now I can understand why he does certain things and also see the good.
So grateful to hear that, thank you!
Well said
Thank you for watching
Wow this video is great.
Thanks so much for watching!
But what if you can't tell if your kid is lying. He's super smart and so good at manipulating. Once he's impulse lied, he will give you some really good details using partial truths so that you cannot tell whether he's lying or not just to not get caught lying. He will gas light you so badly that even if you saw what he did or think you know he did something because it sounds like something he's done before, you start to second guess yourself and wonder if he's telling the truth. He will make you feel like scum because you trust others over your own son. He's so manipulative that you just never know what the truth is. Life is frustrating and scary around him because you always feel like you're going crazy. And it happens multiple times a day. With big and small things. He's constantly in and out of the principals office. In detention and RPC'D. How do you make him clean up when you don't even know for sure he needs to clean up? This kid tests way above his grade level and gets fs at school. We wonder if he has photographic memory because once he sees or hears something it is imprinted in his memory and he can recall at the drop of a hat. This could be so good for him, but he uses his smarts to lie and manipulate. It's a very scary life we're living with him. I do tend to worry about him ending up in prison. Because his birth mother is the exact same way and has spent her entire adult life in and out of prison. It's scary.
I think the first thing to do is for you to make the decision that you're not going to feed into his emotional manipulation. The 2nd choice you need to make is to not get into long discussions where you allow him to control and manipulate the conversations.
What about stealing? How do we deal with that?
The same way I describe in this video, focus on the clean up.
Thank you.
Welcome!
Interesting
Why is my 26 year old friend w/ ADHD obviously lying every time they make a mistake?
Because they probably have what's called perfectionistic thinking and feel ashamed when they make a mistake because they think they shouldn't have.
@@ADHDDude my friend often oversleeps shows up late. Last time he said “I lost my phone”. I’d respect him more for not lying, but also having a single issue is better than now having two. His lie just makes him look worse 😂. He seems to be defensive & embarrassed. But the jokes on him his lack of character is obvious & he’s in denial lying to himself not wanting to admit failure, thus failing twice. It’s so irrational & dumb.
I think he does that out of shame. That's not an uncommon behavior at all
My kid doesn’t see the purpose if the clean up. Because he still denies doing wrong.
He will do something wrong which i see him do. And will deny so i tell him to apologize and think about how it effects that person he is hurting and he responds with i dont know i did not do anything
He doesn't need to see the purpose of it. Your job is not to convince him of the value of it, it's to teach him that when we say/do something hurtful towards someone else we need to make amends. His opinion about it is irrelevant as is his denying it.