"i dont believe in that stuff anymore" hits so incredibly hard. The loss of belief in anything just shakes me. it also implies a loss of innocence that is so haunting.
I agree,the loss of belief is hard to imagine....but when one has been thru so many heart wrenching losses it's really hard to hold on.I still want to believe but sometimes....
Brutally honest. The whole subject of getting so self absorbed and having so much self loathing as you go through life even though all the while there are kids who never even got to see the days you're experiencing. Phoebe is a truly gifted being.
@@Max-wy6lb And I woke up in my childhood bed Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself When I remembered someone's kid is dead If that isn't about the guilt of self loathing and depression when you're otherwise living a pretty full life, then what is?
This is something I struggle with a lot, there's so much guilt over having a privileged life that others wish they had, but my mental illnesses prevent me from wanting to be alive at all. Life isn't fair and it's a heavy feeling
I also recommend listening to the Virtute the cat songs by John K. Samson / The Weakerthans. They're about a guy with depression and alcoholism reflecting on how he failed to take adequate care of a cat, a description that in no way does those songs justice. I should also mention three of the four songs are written from the cat's perspective. If anyone has any recommendations for me, pile 'em on!
@@GOOM Oh man. Feel like I should send a virtual hug or something. Not a hugger, but I see you've got a similar taste in good, depressing music. If anyone has any recommendations, bring them on.
“You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness” I’m very addicted to the sadness I get from nostalgia. I love but hate the feeling of missing the past
IFKR!! I cried so bad😭 That's how I got introduced to this song...and now I'm gonna listen to more of Phoebe because I feel like I've been sleeping on her all this time
This song gives me a lot of comfort, but it makes me so sad. When I was in 7th grade, there was this boy I wanted to be friends with. He would let me borrow his watercolors in art class, was my dance partner in well dance class, and copy his homework. He started to miss school really often at the beginning of the year until he stopped showing up one day. A week later, we received the news about his head tumor. Everyone in school hoped he would get better, including me. My friend group that he was part of too wanted to go visit him, I wanted to go too, but they told me I couldn't because I knew him for less time. In the end, they got told he wasn't receiving visits from people outside his family, so they didn't get to see him. But I did; I was in the hallway and saw him; he was wearing an oversized jacket and a gray beanie. He looked taller, puff up his complexion was really pale, and he had the darkest eyebags. We talked for a short period, and I ask him when he was coming back to school. I hate how I didn't realize how insensitive that was at the time, how cruel; He said, "I don't know." Gave me a USB in the shape of a dinosaur with a project for our literature class and left. That was the last time I saw him. My classmates stopped talking about him; no one mentioned him again, not even the teachers, and we went into 8th grade like he was never there. October came in, and I got the news of his parting. It was a Facebook post telling us the reception date and directions; I cried, screamed, and sobbed all day. Going to the funeral was the most challenging part; We were supposed to wear all white, so I had to wear a graphic shirt that no longer fit me and my mom's white jeans. I didn't have any white clothes at that time. When I got to the funeral parlor, 3 of my classmates caught my eye, a girl in particular in that group. She was wearing a white shirt, a blue mini skirt, and beige high heels. But their behavior was even more infuriating, taking pictures, drinking coffee; It was really gross. They treated the funeral for a 13-year-old, cancer patience like some sort of hangout. But I was more disgusted at my own thoughts; I was jealous of him and angry at God for taking the straight-A student who wanted to be a doctor. Instead of me, someone who didn't have any dreams for the future and still doesn't. And I think that was the day I stopped believing in god all together. I felt so guilty for having those thoughts, especially after hearing more about him from his grandparents. How he would do all the school projects regardless of his illness and would say, "I'm in 8th grade!" even though he was no longer in school. How he was in so much pain every day that he would commit SH because he no longer wanted to suffer. It's been 10 years since, and I still think about him; And even though I know my schoolmates probably do too, it doesn't feel like it. I feel so guilty because I feel I'm wasting my life while he can no longer live his. But I like to think he's the one helping me when my path becomes rocky because every time I tried to unalive myself, I think of him and go on a walk and calm myself. I can't find a picture of him. It almost feels like he completely disappeared; I wish I could at least remember his face. This song describes the experience of losing someone who died being young while also being young and having an overwhelming desire to no longer stay alive. The horrible feeling to see all your friends move towards the future but being stuck in the past yourself. It gives me a lot of comfort knowing I'm not alone, that there are people with a similar experience as me. I'm sorry you're also going through this too; I hope we can all heal together.
You're not alone. I hope you know that. It sucks. But I'm glad that you're still here, and I'm sorry, even if you may feel you didnt know him that well.
I was just got introduced to this song, 2 days ago. A friend show me this song.. as we were driving back from my first AA meeting.. i personally been struggling with depression, these past 2 years.. and this song and your story hit me hard .. i can relate on many points, But i don't think I'll ever completely understand how you feel.. because he was your friend and that relationship you had with him was your own.. it can never be replicated.. i can relate with your point on feeling guilty, wishing it was you and not that other person.. and i just got what that line means, where she saids "i don't believe in that stuff anymore" .. i find myself trying to find reasons to still be here, to find joy in life.. our AA meeting went good, the reading help, i think I'll go back next week..the friend i went to the meeting with, dreams/ wishes of living in California one day, i hope she does and i can go visit someday and say remember that day we went to that meeting i liked it thank you for inviting me and thank you for introducing me to a beautiful song,.thanks for sharing
Oh man, thats really rough. I lost my dog a few weeks ago. She was my best friend. This album as sad as it is got me through some really tough spots for me.
Some people with anxiety or depression talk about getting 'tunnel vision' in acute episodes of their sickness. These people are usually quite deep feeling, and can be profoundly empathetic, but in these times their sadness can be so all encompassing that it shrinks their ability to see outside of their immediate need for relief. They feel that this is a mark of selfishness, and beat themselves up for it in a torturous feedback loop. I think Phoebe puts these feelings perfectly in her inflection of "Jesus Christ I'm so blue all the time", especially after the end of the second verse: "wishin I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself when I remembered someone's kid is dead" Unreal songwriting.
"And I have this dream where I'm screaming underwater / While my friends are waving from the shore" is the summary of how it feels to be chronically, profoundly depressed. One of the most beautiful, heartbreaking songs ever written.
my friend committed suicide 3 years ago and I remember hearing this song for the first time a couple years ago and just feeling every single word of it in my chest and my heart and it’s just resonated with me so deeply and I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much listening to a song. I know some people only know this song because of a show and hopefully won’t ever have to go through losing a friend when you’re young but yeah. This song is just everything to me. And I’m so sad when I go through periods of time where I don’t think about her but then I hear this and I remember everything all at once.
My friend just did. She's in a different state and we have both talked about ending it to each other. This song hits me, every single god damn word because I'm supposed to talk at her funeral. And I can't.
When I was in the 4th grade our class sang for 6 funerals. When we were told we'd leave class for 2 hours so we could sing for a funeral it seemed like good news. Some kids never felt the gravity of the moment, it was just time away from school work. I remember still each funeral, the crying, the sadness and I felt the loss of strangers as if they had been a friends.
“When i think about it too much i can’t breathe And I have this dream where I’m screaming underwater and my friends are waving from the shore”. This song is hauntingly beautiful
I lost my little girl to suicide 2 years ago next month. Every day, I wake up and it is like she died all over again. She was being viciously bullied. Not one of us saw the signs. My sister asked me to watch the series. I heard the first note to this song not knowing what this song was about. My little girl took my spirit with her. This song captures the very essence of what I’m going through. What my little girl went through. What we all go through. Let us all be kind to each other. We are all battling a war internally. I will fund you in the next life my truest of loves, my song, my music. In the infinite my darling girl. Rest in Gold my angel. Aurelia Star, Forever 13
@@Wanderer727 I feel her now more and more. Her light and love burn so bright 💔 the pain is unbearable at times. It is hard to stay alive in a world that she is not in, this is the lesson where I have to remember that she is not here in the flesh but here in spirit.
I pray for you and your daughter, I was in her position and almost committed multiple times, but I can't imagine how it feels for you. I'm praying that God helps soothe the hurt.
I once asked my father 11 years ago, "Dad, what happens when we die?" He looked at me and said, "Son, i know that we will be missed a lot" And now i'm telling myself the same story holding a rose from our garden on his grave...Rest in peace father
@@zipperplucker feeling blue all the time allows for moments that don’t feel like that to be just so incredible, at least for me. The feeling will Come, it will come. Death will come, guaranteed. But we can be here for now 🤍✨ im sending so much love
"I wish I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself.. when I remember someone's kid is dead." I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you and I'll always regret that night everyday for my entire life. You deserved so much better.
Hi lovely, I hope you are doing okay, and I just wanted to let you know, it isnt your fault. Things will get better, we just need to hold on for a little longer okay? I hope you are having a good day today/tonight, you deserve it. Please never forget you are so so loved and so special... stay strong. xx❤
@@jennac- thank you ♥️ I'm doing better now. It's been nearly a decade since that night. but at times it still hits me extremely hard, maybe just as bad as when I first got the news. The night I commented happened to be one of those moments. It hurts, but I've finally made it to the point finally able to feel the fact I'm not alone
@@kyramachakaire6187 oh man isn’t 13 reasons why known for having really bad depression representation? (Not that there’s 1 type of depression but I head that that show got a lot of flack)
I learned of you because I am a Leith Ross fan. I am 57 and have suffered from depression all my life. This song, while it made me tear up badly, is also making me think about what else I encounter in my life. Your voice, like Lieth's, is one of the truly beautiful things i have experienced. The 2 of you are amazing and I will share this with every person I meet. Please sing and write forever.
I'm singing at a funeral tomorrow For a kid a year older than me And I've been talking to his dad, it makes me so sad When I think too much about it I can't breathe And I have this dream where I'm screaming underwater While my friends are all waving from the shore And I don't need you to tell me what that means I don't believe in that stuff anymore Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time And that's just how I feel Always have and I always will I always have and always will I have a friend I call When I've bored myself to tears And we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves But then we laugh until it disappears And last night I blacked out in my car And I woke up in my childhood bed Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself When I remembered someone's kid is dead Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time And that's just how I feel Always have and I always will I always have and always will And it's 4 A.M., again And I'm doing nothing Again
I’ve been around 46 years now, digested thousands of albums, loved hundreds of bands, and I am able to state with complete conviction that this is one of the top ten or twenty songs ever written
The funeral is a ritual of loss and the saddest thing about the coronavirus is how it has altered the ritual and the way people say goodbye. We need this song now.
I'm listening to this song over and over again this morning... It's 4:25 a.m., and I have a funeral to go to for my friend's 4 month old son. He never came home from the hospital after he was born prematurely... He fought so hard, and fought until the very end. This song is helping me deal with their pain...
I keep coming back to this song every time another wave of depression hits. It will forever be my anthem of sadness to really get all those emotions and tears out. Love you Phoebe Bridgers ❤️
This is such an achingly beautiful and accurate description of clinical depression. As someone studying psychology that also has been dealing with depression for most of my life, it’s cathartic in so many ways to hear Phoebe put lyrics and melody to feelings I’ve felt so often. There’s a profound sense of guilt with depression in feeling you could have it much worse, but at the same time, always feeling so blue. “Always have and always will.”
I remember everything. My childhood bed has mostly fearful memories, and the bathroom even worse. And then I remembered I died, too, along with someone's kid that no one noticed. There's a song for everyone, though. Songs and poetry can cut our heads off, cut our hearts out, and in the end purify the willing who love others no matter how much their hearts and minds have endured tragedy.
This is simply a stunning song. I'm in that weird place of being completely thrilled by and yet jealous of this woman's soul. What a way to see the world - even more stunning to make that perspective into a gift like this.
I was clinically depressed for years, somehow like walking out of my own body in a dream, the depression fell away. All of a sudden I was a butterfly. I don't know how this happened but sometimes I get a glimpse of the old me and I wanna run away so fast. I am a new fan of Phoebe Bridgers, she makes me think, she keeps me humble
I came back to listen to this song again today and for the first time ever I didn't sob my eyes out. As the song ended I realized that I'm getting better. I then immediately started happy crying LMAO. I never thought I could feel this good ever again, but I do. I can't describe how good this feels
Lost a good friend at the age of 14. I might could've prevented it. That day changed my life forever. This year is the first I feel happy again and I also learned to like myself. I'm 38 years old now.
I met a girl way back 2018 at the at the reception area of the hospital when I accompanied my mother who had undergone chemotherapy at that time. I think we're at the same age and we talked for a while. She was all smiles and have this really vibrant aura in her that I immediately felt. When I learned that she has a cancer, it shocked me and didn't know what to say after what I learned. We said goodbyes when we parted ways. And I can't just stop thinking of her at that day. Now, when I think of my mom (who died a year after), I always think of her too, wondering if she's doing okay. I don't have her name but I always try so hard to at least remember her face, in hopes that I might see her again. These kind of stuff are really alive at late nights whenever I dwell on things on the past esp. my mom whom I always missed forever.
Jesus Christ, I'm so Blue all the time And That's just how I Feel Always have and I Always Will. There's a sort of sweet sadness to this, like she's accepted the reality of herself. She says this sad line, but she says it like she's ok with it.
Wow…I have 2 sons in Heaven, 18 years ago & 8 years ago and I cried my heart out hearing this song💔watching The Summer I turned Pretty & didn’t expect to cry like a baby…missing my sweet boys, love you more Nicholas & Kyle😢💙💙😘
i hope you're doing well now. im so sorry you had to go through that pain. you're a strong person and very very loved. you matter, and we're proud of you. take care, sending you lots of love.
The first verse of this song really might be one of the best pieces of writing in modern music. It honestly saved my life. Wife left me. I was drinking alot. Couldn’t see a way out. Thought constantly about ending it. Came close a few times. When I heard this song I realized what that would do to the people who loved me who I’d be leaving behind. Every time I hear this song now I can’t help myself from crying. It’s automatic.
My dad killed himself back in June 2021. This song digs deep into my soul. I'm 33, I'm grieving for 2 years... and I'll continue to feel blue. Feeling that depression my dad had, feeling that pain to losing my dad, and I'm walking down a sidewalk filled with people who are casually living their lives while I'm in that darkness of living to find happiness while grieving to mourn my dad. It's a tough balance each time and each day. 💔
i'm so glad this song didn't exist when i was 12 years old going through my emo phase because the line "jesus christ, i'm so blue all the time" would have taken over MY LIFE this song is so beautiful
That's interesting that you say that because I had the same feeling until she said, 'I don't need you to tell me what that means, I don't believe in that stuff any more'. That took what I thought was how I understood the line she said before that to something I don't know how to describe. But yes I agree
“I woke up in my childhood bed, wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself, when I remembered someone's kid is dead.” Somebody out there always has it worse than you. People say that as if it’s supposed to be comforting. But it isn’t.
As someone who has lived with intractable clinical depression for as long as i can remember, this song is incredibly comforting and calming. It removes the shame i never knew i carried from this sort of ‘performative existence’ of pretending I’m normal and not severely depressed and feeling terrible about trying and failing to ‘manage’ or recover or prevent lapses. I felt that shame and hid it for sake of those around me, but these lyrics fully put it out there without judgement. This is the way my brain is wired. I’ve always felt this way and always will yet I’m still here singing. What a relief. Thanks PB ✌️
This is so insanely good on every conceivable level...I'm at a complete loss for words...the melodic line...the lyrics...the harmonies...the effects....the strings...man alive....so amazing! Gut wrenching beauty!
A very real hard hitting song of life that breaks down the emotional defenses...will share with my network and add to the Best Music of 2017 playlists.
everytime i listened to phoebe bridgers my heart was like shuffling my thoughts and suddenly after thinking all of the bad things people did to me i'll just cry everytime
Listen to this song constantly and it always gives me tingles. Feels like they get more intense with each listen. So rare. I've felt strongly about alot of music, but this one song in particular just grabs my heart and squeezes it so damn tight.
This will probably get lost in the sea of comments, but honestly, the first time I heard this song was a little more than a year ago now. Just after one of my friends had overdosed and died. She was only 16. We all were. At that same time I was and still am dealing with mental health struggles. It was and still is so hard to live some days. But then I remember what her urn looked like. And the eyes of her father and sisters during the funeral. Young people should not die. This song is so important to me, because it describes grief, self-hatred, and just a total loss of innocence so well. There is nothing like losing someone young when you are young yourself, only those who have gone through it can really understand, and this song perfectly encapsulates that. Please tell your loved ones you love them.
My mum passed away at the end of 2021 and one of the songs I picked for her funeral was 'blue' by Joni Mitchel. This song reminds me so much of Joni, it's almost like a response song for me, navigating the grief.
Heard this on the new hit tv series called "the summer i turned pretty " S1 ep7 the ending and this just fit so well with the particular scene...i haven't cried so... much 😭
Such a strange confluence of emotions on this track. The lyrics are just a sheer, earth-shattering depression that hits you square in the chest, yet the delivery / vocals offer this warm, disarming embrace. It's like she's invited you into her home, wrapped you up in a bunch of blankets, and then lays her entire heart on the table as you both shelter from the blistery winter wind outside.
“Jesus Christ I’m so blue all the time… and that’s just how I feel…” Wow she could be singing about me and my son Joe. I miss him so much. I still cannot believe Joe is gone, that he was gone just like that, so fast, and so horribly dead. It’s 2am, and I am awake, thinking of how much I miss him. My life has been so different since he shot a bullet through his head. Since I left him that day. I am always wondering what might have happened if I had stayed. If he would still be here. I cannot change history. But I sure wish I could.
This just puts my feelings into words - I couldn't relate any more to a song it - makes me think of losing my brother and everything, and it just feels like someone understands
Reading through the comments in my 10th grade phy-ed class. I’m partially disabled and have been in poor shape for a few months now. Next spring will be one year of it, and it’s changed my life in such a horrendous way. It feels as though that old active part of me died and can’t be brought back. I always feel so blue, so tired, so sick and exhausted. I discovered this song through one of my friends and it’s changed me and my way of thinking. I love her so dearly and I only wish the best for her. She’s gone for 10 days currently, she comes back to school a few days after my birthday and I already miss her. This song and so many other ones by Phoebe have truly changed my life, and one day I hope I can share music like this with one of my friends who grow to love me this deeply. I’m 16 in 11 days, I have my divers test in 13; I’m scared as all hell, but I know I can’t stop time. I wish I could stop so many things though, sadly I can’t. I wish I could stop my body from attacking itself and live like a normal teenager instead of sitting out of class because everything makes me sore and I feel like I’m going to vomit because my friend is going to miss out on the most important day of my teenage years.
Reading all these comments brought Tears to my eyes 😭😭 lost my Dad at earlier age 😞😞 it been really hard growing up, I wonder when is gonna be alright 😭 reading about what people are going through shit, I hope God will intervene for all of us 😢😢😢😢
Can a person’s life change drastically? A person born in misery, can he come out of it? Can he begin to live a life different from the life he's been living since the day he's born? Only love might save him. Only love can truly change his life. Where can one find such unconditional love?
"i dont believe in that stuff anymore" hits so incredibly hard. The loss of belief in anything just shakes me. it also implies a loss of innocence that is so haunting.
There’s a lot of stuff I don’t believe anymore, I feel the sort of mature wistful maturity that comes with that that Pheobe is communicating here ..
Your comment has shaken me immensely.you are an angel.
I relate to this song toooo much sadly
There is a side to this song that only some of us have experienced
I agree,the loss of belief is hard to imagine....but when one has been thru so many heart wrenching losses it's really hard to hold on.I still want to believe but sometimes....
Brutally honest. The whole subject of getting so self absorbed and having so much self loathing as you go through life even though all the while there are kids who never even got to see the days you're experiencing. Phoebe is a truly gifted being.
This is so true and beautifully said x
that's not what this song about at all
@@Max-wy6lb Haha, right. Go on then lets hear what its about.
@@Max-wy6lb And I woke up in my childhood bed
Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself
When I remembered someone's kid is dead
If that isn't about the guilt of self loathing and depression when you're otherwise living a pretty full life, then what is?
This is something I struggle with a lot, there's so much guilt over having a privileged life that others wish they had, but my mental illnesses prevent me from wanting to be alive at all. Life isn't fair and it's a heavy feeling
This is one of the most heart-shattering songs ever written.
I also recommend listening to the Virtute the cat songs by John K. Samson / The Weakerthans. They're about a guy with depression and alcoholism reflecting on how he failed to take adequate care of a cat, a description that in no way does those songs justice. I should also mention three of the four songs are written from the cat's perspective.
If anyone has any recommendations for me, pile 'em on!
NameForComments holy shit i was just listening to Virtute at Rest
@@GOOM Oh man. Feel like I should send a virtual hug or something. Not a hugger, but I see you've got a similar taste in good, depressing music. If anyone has any recommendations, bring them on.
@@nameforcomments4092 I feel like Daughter would be a good band for depressing music.
@NameForComments recommendation - "Father's Daughter" by Crystal Bowersox
“Then I remembered someone’s kid was dead”
That hit really hard and close to my heart
me too
“You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness” I’m very addicted to the sadness I get from nostalgia. I love but hate the feeling of missing the past
SAME
Least you got something to miss bro
@@Ivan-xg1zo yeah
same😔
5⁵⁶
Blacked out in my car. Woke up in my childhood bed. Wishing I was someone else feeling sorry for myself when I remembered someone’s kid was dead
Lola And Sofia that line hit me hard
Literally chills
Also seeing this song was used in the OST for the show 13 Reasons Why (Season 3), I don’t think a more fitting track could have been chosen!
My friend died this summer and this line specifically makes me cry
This line always gets me.
"We talk until we think we might just kill ourselves, but then we laugh until it disappears."
If that isn't the realest shit I dont know what is.
they did not need to put this song at the end of the summer i turned pretty. i ugly cried so hard phoebe never fails to make me sob
i cried so hars
IFKR!! I cried so bad😭
That's how I got introduced to this song...and now I'm gonna listen to more of Phoebe because I feel like I've been sleeping on her all this time
It was my first time hearing this song… I too sobbed like a baby
Exactly..
Same bro istg I cried too much
This song gives me a lot of comfort, but it makes me so sad.
When I was in 7th grade, there was this boy I wanted to be friends with. He would let me borrow his watercolors in art class, was my dance partner in well dance class, and copy his homework.
He started to miss school really often at the beginning of the year until he stopped showing up one day. A week later, we received the news about his head tumor.
Everyone in school hoped he would get better, including me.
My friend group that he was part of too wanted to go visit him, I wanted to go too, but they told me I couldn't because I knew him for less time.
In the end, they got told he wasn't receiving visits from people outside his family, so they didn't get to see him.
But I did; I was in the hallway and saw him; he was wearing an oversized jacket and a gray beanie. He looked taller, puff up his complexion was really pale, and he had the darkest eyebags.
We talked for a short period, and I ask him when he was coming back to school. I hate how I didn't realize how insensitive that was at the time, how cruel; He said, "I don't know." Gave me a USB in the shape of a dinosaur with a project for our literature class and left. That was the last time I saw him.
My classmates stopped talking about him; no one mentioned him again, not even the teachers, and we went into 8th grade like he was never there. October came in, and I got the news of his parting. It was a Facebook post telling us the reception date and directions; I cried, screamed, and sobbed all day.
Going to the funeral was the most challenging part; We were supposed to wear all white, so I had to wear a graphic shirt that no longer fit me and my mom's white jeans. I didn't have any white clothes at that time.
When I got to the funeral parlor, 3 of my classmates caught my eye, a girl in particular in that group. She was wearing a white shirt, a blue mini skirt, and beige high heels. But their behavior was even more infuriating, taking pictures, drinking coffee; It was really gross. They treated the funeral for a 13-year-old, cancer patience like some sort of hangout.
But I was more disgusted at my own thoughts; I was jealous of him and angry at God for taking the straight-A student who wanted to be a doctor.
Instead of me, someone who didn't have any dreams for the future and still doesn't. And I think that was the day I stopped believing in god all together.
I felt so guilty for having those thoughts, especially after hearing more about him from his grandparents.
How he would do all the school projects regardless of his illness and would say, "I'm in 8th grade!" even though he was no longer in school.
How he was in so much pain every day that he would commit SH because he no longer wanted to suffer.
It's been 10 years since, and I still think about him; And even though I know my schoolmates probably do too, it doesn't feel like it. I feel so guilty because I feel I'm wasting my life while he can no longer live his.
But I like to think he's the one helping me when my path becomes rocky because every time I tried to unalive myself, I think of him and go on a walk and calm myself.
I can't find a picture of him. It almost feels like he completely disappeared; I wish I could at least remember his face.
This song describes the experience of losing someone who died being young while also being young and having an overwhelming desire to no longer stay alive.
The horrible feeling to see all your friends move towards the future but being stuck in the past yourself.
It gives me a lot of comfort knowing I'm not alone, that there are people with a similar experience as me.
I'm sorry you're also going through this too; I hope we can all heal together.
hey i know you posted this forever ago but just wanted to say i hope you are doing well. its good of you to care and reflect but keep moving forward
You're not alone. I hope you know that. It sucks. But I'm glad that you're still here, and I'm sorry, even if you may feel you didnt know him that well.
I was just got introduced to this song, 2 days ago. A friend show me this song.. as we were driving back from my first AA meeting.. i personally been struggling with depression, these past 2 years.. and this song and your story hit me hard .. i can relate on many points, But i don't think I'll ever completely understand how you feel.. because he was your friend and that relationship you had with him was your own.. it can never be replicated..
i can relate with your point on feeling guilty, wishing it was you and not that other person.. and i just got what that line means, where she saids "i don't believe in that stuff anymore" .. i find myself trying to find reasons to still be here, to find joy in life.. our AA meeting went good, the reading help, i think I'll go back next week..the friend i went to the meeting with, dreams/ wishes of living in California one day, i hope she does and i can go visit someday and say remember that day we went to that meeting i liked it thank you for inviting me and thank you for introducing me to a beautiful song,.thanks for sharing
This story is so powerful. You are not alone.
Thank u💔
ive never heard the guilt of self-pity conveyed so well. its heart shattering but comforting.
Right!!
Buried my Mom & Daughter 3 years ago, & my Dad yesterday. Got me...
Splendid G stay strong
Splendid G you're a strong man. So sorry for your losses
Oh man, thats really rough. I lost my dog a few weeks ago. She was my best friend. This album as sad as it is got me through some really tough spots for me.
❤️ How are you doing right now?
One of the best songs of all time. Period. Every time... I cry.
relax
@@guillermokersh7270 no
Some people with anxiety or depression talk about getting 'tunnel vision' in acute episodes of their sickness. These people are usually quite deep feeling, and can be profoundly empathetic, but in these times their sadness can be so all encompassing that it shrinks their ability to see outside of their immediate need for relief. They feel that this is a mark of selfishness, and beat themselves up for it in a torturous feedback loop. I think Phoebe puts these feelings perfectly in her inflection of "Jesus Christ I'm so blue all the time", especially after the end of the second verse:
"wishin I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself
when I remembered someone's kid is dead"
Unreal songwriting.
Oh my God. You've summed up so perfectly how I've been feeling for as long as I can remember.
"And I have this dream where I'm screaming underwater / While my friends are waving from the shore" is the summary of how it feels to be chronically, profoundly depressed. One of the most beautiful, heartbreaking songs ever written.
my friend committed suicide 3 years ago and I remember hearing this song for the first time a couple years ago and just feeling every single word of it in my chest and my heart and it’s just resonated with me so deeply and I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much listening to a song. I know some people only know this song because of a show and hopefully won’t ever have to go through losing a friend when you’re young but yeah. This song is just everything to me. And I’m so sad when I go through periods of time where I don’t think about her but then I hear this and I remember everything all at once.
One of my friends died about 2 months ago in an accident and this song just hits hard so I feel what you mean, sending my love 💗💗
My friend just did. She's in a different state and we have both talked about ending it to each other. This song hits me, every single god damn word because I'm supposed to talk at her funeral. And I can't.
BcShyGirl Breeze i’m so sorry my love, i’m sending you peace during this time. i know how hard this is, give yourself time and grace
i lost my friend 3 years ago as well. she died from a medical condition. i celebrate every holiday with her still..god damn it i miss her so much
My wife did the same thing with a xanax overdose about 3 years ago too.. I don't know if I'll get over it
When I was in the 4th grade our class sang for 6 funerals. When we were told we'd leave class for 2 hours so we could sing for a funeral it seemed like good news. Some kids never felt the gravity of the moment, it was just time away from school work. I remember still each funeral, the crying, the sadness and I felt the loss of strangers as if they had been a friends.
This is so sad, I hope you're doing well.
This is the most unsettling yet most comforting song
“When i think about it too much i can’t breathe And I have this dream where I’m screaming underwater and my friends are waving from the shore”. This song is hauntingly beautiful
"and i don't need you to tell me what that means/i don't believe in that stuff anymore"
@@audrey8195Jesus christ I'm so blue all the time
And that's just how I feel
I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it. Just beautiful.
a mira
I lost my little girl to suicide 2 years ago next month. Every day, I wake up and it is like she died all over again. She was being viciously bullied. Not one of us saw the signs. My sister asked me to watch the series. I heard the first note to this song not knowing what this song was about. My little girl took my spirit with her. This song captures the very essence of what I’m going through. What my little girl went through. What we all go through. Let us all be kind to each other. We are all battling a war internally. I will fund you in the next life my truest of loves, my song, my music. In the infinite my darling girl. Rest in Gold my angel. Aurelia Star, Forever 13
oh, my heart...I'm so sorry mamas. May you find peace and her light always shine down on you.
@@Wanderer727 I feel her now more and more. Her light and love burn so bright 💔 the pain is unbearable at times. It is hard to stay alive in a world that she is not in, this is the lesson where I have to remember that she is not here in the flesh but here in spirit.
I pray for you and your daughter, I was in her position and almost committed multiple times, but I can't imagine how it feels for you. I'm praying that God helps soothe the hurt.
I lost my Hannah 3 years ago now... It hurts so much.. as I type this the screen is blurring with my Teers... I hope you find peace..
@@AlienDNA6971 I know that me suffering with you does not help but know you are not alone.
There are feels, then there are all the feels, then there is this
Amen.
FEELS
... then there depression
Then theres pagan poetry by björk
Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time
that line makes me tear up every time it's so powerful
When I heard that line I had to search up a song...
Best lyric I have heard in years. So simple, yet perfect.
always have I always will
... The empath, the straighten outer heyoka
I once asked my father 11 years ago,
"Dad, what happens when we die?"
He looked at me and said,
"Son, i know that we will be missed a lot"
And now i'm telling myself the same story holding a rose from our garden on his grave...Rest in peace father
That’s
My prayers to your father, rest in peace.
He may not be here with us physically, but he’ll always live in your ♥️ and memories he made with u and others
@@Max4Z you made my day man :)
your dad is cool and wise.
“Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself, when I remembered someone’s kid is dead” 😢
I so love this song. i totally feel what she's saying. I've felt it all my life and I'm turning 70 in a few months.
@@zipperplucker feeling blue all the time allows for moments that don’t feel like that to be just so incredible, at least for me. The feeling will
Come, it will come. Death will come, guaranteed. But we can be here for now 🤍✨ im sending so much love
"I wish I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself.. when I remember someone's kid is dead."
I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you and I'll always regret that night everyday for my entire life. You deserved so much better.
i know this is rly hard- plz keep ur head up, know that ur loved, it will get better
@@savannahguertin8685 Thank you. ❤ I try to do the best I can to get through the roughest days.
Hi lovely, I hope you are doing okay, and I just wanted to let you know, it isnt your fault. Things will get better, we just need to hold on for a little longer okay? I hope you are having a good day today/tonight, you deserve it. Please never forget you are so so loved and so special... stay strong. xx❤
@@jennac- thank you ♥️
I'm doing better now. It's been nearly a decade since that night. but at times it still hits me extremely hard, maybe just as bad as when I first got the news. The night I commented happened to be one of those moments. It hurts, but I've finally made it to the point finally able to feel the fact I'm not alone
@@WillowtheRainFawn I hope you’re okay ❤️
Didn’t know about this being used in a TV series. Hope they made it justice. This song is too important to be misused
Don't worry, they did it justice 🙏☀️
Where did they used it?
@@nunomcb140799 I think 13 reasons why but idk
I discovered it in lethal weapon season 3 episode 2
@@kyramachakaire6187 oh man isn’t 13 reasons why known for having really bad depression representation? (Not that there’s 1 type of depression but I head that that show got a lot of flack)
I learned of you because I am a Leith Ross fan. I am 57 and have suffered from depression all my life. This song, while it made me tear up badly, is also making me think about what else I encounter in my life. Your voice, like Lieth's, is one of the truly beautiful things i have experienced. The 2 of you are amazing and I will share this with every person I meet. Please sing and write forever.
I lost both of my parents within the last 3 years and Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time. Thank you, Miss Bridgers. I love your music.
salame
I'm so sorry I hope you're doing better now
@@mira7280 ❤ Thank you
I wish you strength and courage !
A musician so expressive yet so simple, Phoebe Bridgers hats off to you. Thanks a lot for existing Phoebe, and the whole universe!
I'm singing at a funeral tomorrow
For a kid a year older than me
And I've been talking to his dad, it makes me so sad
When I think too much about it I can't breathe
And I have this dream where I'm screaming underwater
While my friends are all waving from the shore
And I don't need you to tell me what that means
I don't believe in that stuff anymore
Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time
And that's just how I feel
Always have and I always will
I always have and always will
I have a friend I call
When I've bored myself to tears
And we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves
But then we laugh until it disappears
And last night I blacked out in my car
And I woke up in my childhood bed
Wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself
When I remembered someone's kid is dead
Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time
And that's just how I feel
Always have and I always will
I always have and always will
And it's 4 A.M., again
And I'm doing nothing
Again
I’ve been around 46 years now, digested thousands of albums, loved hundreds of bands, and I am able to state with complete conviction that this is one of the top ten or twenty songs ever written
I felt the same upon hearing it. I think John Mayer encapsulated it best when he said this song was “the announcement that a giant had arrived!”
The funeral is a ritual of loss and the saddest thing about the coronavirus is how it has altered the ritual and the way people say goodbye. We need this song now.
Absolutely out-of-this-world incredible. Everything made sense.
I'm listening to this song over and over again this morning... It's 4:25 a.m., and I have a funeral to go to for my friend's 4 month old son. He never came home from the hospital after he was born prematurely... He fought so hard, and fought until the very end. This song is helping me deal with their pain...
I swear my life was changed when I heard this the first time
The way I ugly cried when this song played during THAT heartbreaking scene on ‘the summer I turned pretty’
I keep coming back to this song every time another wave of depression hits. It will forever be my anthem of sadness to really get all those emotions and tears out. Love you Phoebe Bridgers ❤️
"The Summer I Turned Pretty" brought me here. 🥺
the bedroom scene killed me
I cried so hard
Literally balled watching that scene
Ussss
Indeed
I'm trying to learn this song on the ukulele but I keep making myself cry.
Ukulele is gentrifying music
This is such an achingly beautiful and accurate description of clinical depression. As someone studying psychology that also has been dealing with depression for most of my life, it’s cathartic in so many ways to hear Phoebe put lyrics and melody to feelings I’ve felt so often. There’s a profound sense of guilt with depression in feeling you could have it much worse, but at the same time, always feeling so blue. “Always have and always will.”
I remember everything. My childhood bed has mostly fearful memories, and the bathroom even worse. And then I remembered I died, too, along with someone's kid that no one noticed. There's a song for everyone, though. Songs and poetry can cut our heads off, cut our hearts out, and in the end purify the willing who love others no matter how much their hearts and minds have endured tragedy.
this made me sob
@@rayiahester637 The song? Or my comment?
@@theincompleteskeptic8079 they're talking about your comment, timothy.
I hope you're doing well :)
This is simply a stunning song. I'm in that weird place of being completely thrilled by and yet jealous of this woman's soul. What a way to see the world - even more stunning to make that perspective into a gift like this.
I was clinically depressed for years, somehow like walking out of my own body in a dream, the depression fell away. All of a sudden I was a butterfly. I don't know how this happened but sometimes I get a glimpse of the old me and I wanna run away so fast. I am a new fan of Phoebe Bridgers, she makes me think, she keeps me humble
I came back to listen to this song again today and for the first time ever I didn't sob my eyes out. As the song ended I realized that I'm getting better. I then immediately started happy crying LMAO. I never thought I could feel this good ever again, but I do. I can't describe how good this feels
i'm obsessed with this album. i wish i discovered it when it came out. i can't get over how touching each song is to my life
Lost a good friend at the age of 14. I might could've prevented it. That day changed my life forever. This year is the first I feel happy again and I also learned to like myself. I'm 38 years old now.
i just know, her album is gonna fuck me up so much
i relate to this on a deep level
Waaaahhh
I met a girl way back 2018 at the at the reception area of the hospital when I accompanied my mother who had undergone chemotherapy at that time. I think we're at the same age and we talked for a while. She was all smiles and have this really vibrant aura in her that I immediately felt. When I learned that she has a cancer, it shocked me and didn't know what to say after what I learned. We said goodbyes when we parted ways. And I can't just stop thinking of her at that day. Now, when I think of my mom (who died a year after), I always think of her too, wondering if she's doing okay. I don't have her name but I always try so hard to at least remember her face, in hopes that I might see her again. These kind of stuff are really alive at late nights whenever I dwell on things on the past esp. my mom whom I always missed forever.
How am i just finding this song now... i can't even put into words how beautiful this is.
Just found Phoebe Bridgers today... wow, I love her music, she is now on my daily rotation. Love hearing new music
do you ever get tired of feeling empty?
🥺❤️
Mood
I feel that all the time
when you do the next thing is fear-
So tired, no passion , no dream, more dislikes than likes and my likes are not accepted in my family or with anyone I’ve ever known I’m so alone
After watching the summer I turned pretty, I'm here for this again!
me too omg
If I had this much musical talent, this is the song I would've wrote about my life. I'm crying
Jesus Christ, I'm so Blue all the time
And That's just how I Feel
Always have and I Always Will.
There's a sort of sweet sadness to this, like she's accepted the reality of herself. She says this sad line, but she says it like she's ok with it.
Listening to Phoebe feels like coming home after a long day
Comfort food. I can just feel *understood*, when I play this, hear this. Like, You get it.
Wow…I have 2 sons in Heaven, 18 years ago & 8 years ago and I cried my heart out hearing this song💔watching The Summer I turned Pretty & didn’t expect to cry like a baby…missing my sweet boys, love you more Nicholas & Kyle😢💙💙😘
i hope you're doing well now. im so sorry you had to go through that pain. you're a strong person and very very loved. you matter, and we're proud of you. take care, sending you lots of love.
If this song doesn't make you cry or at least want to, you have no soul. Beautifully written and executed. Thanks Phoebe.
The first verse of this song really might be one of the best pieces of writing in modern music. It honestly saved my life. Wife left me. I was drinking alot. Couldn’t see a way out. Thought constantly about ending it. Came close a few times. When I heard this song I realized what that would do to the people who loved me who I’d be leaving behind. Every time I hear this song now I can’t help myself from crying. It’s automatic.
This is the most incredible song I’ve ever heard.. someone shared this with me on Reddit. So happy now
How did you get verified with the music symbol?
Alex Herron distrokid or cd baby offer this verified account
My dad killed himself back in June 2021. This song digs deep into my soul. I'm 33, I'm grieving for 2 years... and I'll continue to feel blue. Feeling that depression my dad had, feeling that pain to losing my dad, and I'm walking down a sidewalk filled with people who are casually living their lives while I'm in that darkness of living to find happiness while grieving to mourn my dad. It's a tough balance each time and each day. 💔
probably one of my favorite songs of all time, everything from the lyrics to the instrumental to Phoebe's voice is so melancholic & poignant
Her voice is so soft yet filled with so many different emotions.
Life... is just so many events but just one matters most.
i'm so glad this song didn't exist when i was 12 years old going through my emo phase because the line "jesus christ, i'm so blue all the time" would have taken over MY LIFE this song is so beautiful
I got chills when she sang "It's 4am and I'm doing nothing again." I looked at my computer's time and it was 4am.
The summer I turned pretty brought me here, what a beautiful song❤
This song is so meaningful and perfect. Thank you for sharing this with us♥️
That's interesting that you say that because I had the same feeling until she said, 'I don't need you to tell me what that means, I don't believe in that stuff any more'. That took what I thought was how I understood the line she said before that to something I don't know how to describe. But yes I agree
“I woke up in my childhood bed, wishing I was someone else, feeling sorry for myself, when I remembered someone's kid is dead.”
Somebody out there always has it worse than you. People say that as if it’s supposed to be comforting. But it isn’t.
she‘s speaking somehow through the guitar in the beginning... I‘m shaked😍 I love the sad songs, too phoebe🖤
Thank you, Phoebe Bridges for making the world a little less lonely.
As someone who has lived with intractable clinical depression for as long as i can remember, this song is incredibly comforting and calming. It removes the shame i never knew i carried from this sort of ‘performative existence’ of pretending I’m normal and not severely depressed and feeling terrible about trying and failing to ‘manage’ or recover or prevent lapses. I felt that shame and hid it for sake of those around me, but these lyrics fully put it out there without judgement. This is the way my brain is wired. I’ve always felt this way and always will yet I’m still here singing. What a relief. Thanks PB ✌️
This is so insanely good on every conceivable level...I'm at a complete loss for words...the melodic line...the lyrics...the harmonies...the effects....the strings...man alive....so amazing!
Gut wrenching beauty!
I wish sadness wasn't a comfort place for me.
A very real hard hitting song of life that breaks down the emotional defenses...will share with my network and add to the Best Music of 2017 playlists.
everytime i listened to phoebe bridgers my heart was like shuffling my thoughts and suddenly after thinking all of the bad things people did to me i'll just cry everytime
Who's here cuz they love phoebe
I am not
Im here bc of tsitp
Literally in tears😫 what a beautiful song!!!💖💖
Listen to this song constantly and it always gives me tingles. Feels like they get more intense with each listen. So rare. I've felt strongly about alot of music, but this one song in particular just grabs my heart and squeezes it so damn tight.
the music industry wouldn't allow his name as center but she brought the messiah right here center BEAUTIFUL Amen
This will probably get lost in the sea of comments, but honestly, the first time I heard this song was a little more than a year ago now. Just after one of my friends had overdosed and died. She was only 16. We all were. At that same time I was and still am dealing with mental health struggles. It was and still is so hard to live some days.
But then I remember what her urn looked like. And the eyes of her father and sisters during the funeral. Young people should not die.
This song is so important to me, because it describes grief, self-hatred, and just a total loss of innocence so well. There is nothing like losing someone young when you are young yourself, only those who have gone through it can really understand, and this song perfectly encapsulates that.
Please tell your loved ones you love them.
I’m like 3 months late , I hope you feel better now ?
I love Phoebe's enunciation in this song. She gives every word room to breathe.
My mum passed away at the end of 2021 and one of the songs I picked for her funeral was 'blue' by Joni Mitchel. This song reminds me so much of Joni, it's almost like a response song for me, navigating the grief.
It’s been 6 years since my dad took his own life. Every year I listen to this on repeat. Also “Christmas Song”. Christmas time always hurts so much.
Heard this on the new hit tv series called "the summer i turned pretty " S1 ep7 the ending and this just fit so well with the particular scene...i haven't cried so... much 😭
Such a strange confluence of emotions on this track. The lyrics are just a sheer, earth-shattering depression that hits you square in the chest, yet the delivery / vocals offer this warm, disarming embrace. It's like she's invited you into her home, wrapped you up in a bunch of blankets, and then lays her entire heart on the table as you both shelter from the blistery winter wind outside.
I don't think I have ever cried so hard at a song before
“Jesus Christ I’m so blue all the time… and that’s just how I feel…”
Wow she could be singing about me and my son Joe. I miss him so much.
I still cannot believe Joe is gone, that he was gone just like that, so fast, and so horribly dead.
It’s 2am, and I am awake, thinking of how much I miss him.
My life has been so different since he shot a bullet through his head.
Since I left him that day.
I am always wondering what might have happened if I had stayed.
If he would still be here.
I cannot change history. But I sure wish I could.
That's a beautiful story but I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best
This just puts my feelings into words - I couldn't relate any more to a song it - makes me think of losing my brother and everything, and it just feels like someone understands
Reading through the comments in my 10th grade phy-ed class. I’m partially disabled and have been in poor shape for a few months now. Next spring will be one year of it, and it’s changed my life in such a horrendous way. It feels as though that old active part of me died and can’t be brought back.
I always feel so blue, so tired, so sick and exhausted. I discovered this song through one of my friends and it’s changed me and my way of thinking. I love her so dearly and I only wish the best for her. She’s gone for 10 days currently, she comes back to school a few days after my birthday and I already miss her.
This song and so many other ones by Phoebe have truly changed my life, and one day I hope I can share music like this with one of my friends who grow to love me this deeply. I’m 16 in 11 days, I have my divers test in 13; I’m scared as all hell, but I know I can’t stop time. I wish I could stop so many things though, sadly I can’t. I wish I could stop my body from attacking itself and live like a normal teenager instead of sitting out of class because everything makes me sore and I feel like I’m going to vomit because my friend is going to miss out on the most important day of my teenage years.
Addicted to the heartbreaking beauty of someone summing up my entire thought process in this song. 💔.
Reading all these comments brought Tears to my eyes 😭😭 lost my Dad at earlier age 😞😞 it been really hard growing up, I wonder when is gonna be alright 😭 reading about what people are going through shit, I hope God will intervene for all of us 😢😢😢😢
this song gives me shivers every time "jesus christ im so blue all the time." sobbing.
This was my favorite song about a year ago. It got me through a lot. God, the nostalgia.
This song... I feel it in my bones. Phoebe's words are mine.
Can a person’s life change drastically? A person born in misery, can he come out of it? Can he begin to live a life different from the life he's been living since the day he's born? Only love might save him. Only love can truly change his life. Where can one find such unconditional love?
Takes me back to my early twenties and all the deep thoughts I carried around. Nice job, Phoebe!
I always come back to this song whenever I'm too sad
Anyone from 13 reasons why??
I was watching the series and immediately I had the song I felt something in my soul that I can't explain 😢🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞
Here to cry my eyes out again 😂🔥🙏
Real