I bought the series because I myself had been abused for years. There was a lot of violence in my family. The series is pretty good the problems you have when you have to live with a trauma are very well presented in the series, irony that patrick melrose and i have the same last name
Same here Robin. It took me some time to pluck up the courage to watch this and when I did I found it really triggering and harrowing. I mainly watched it because I’m a fan of Benedict and he owned this part. The scenes of his childhood were truly traumatising for me. I felt sick and I bit my nails down til they bled. I’m in my 50’s and had many years of therapy but whilst my mind understands it wasn’t my fault my limbic brain doesn’t. The body remembers. I still struggle to control the panic and anxiety. I wish you well and hope you find inner peace.
I’ve just finished watching this series. I’m a big fan of Bens and also an adult survivor of a violent childhood. Luckily I’ve never done drugs but I have drunk a lot to try to forget. My dad died 12 years ago but like Patrick, the traumatic memories didn’t die with him. I have CPTSD. Ben did a fantastic job as always. I found it harrowing and triggering. It was difficult to watch. His line about feeling angry but also compassion towards his dad struck a cord with me. That’s how I feel. I hate my dad on one hand but feel compassion on another. He was abused by his Father. It’s not black and white. I have a swirling mass of mixed emotions towards him. The damage to a child is incalculable and the repercussions all through life are immense. We don’t do anywhere near enough to help terrified and traumatised children.
I also have CPTSD but I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I had a meth addiction. I'm clean now. Except weed. My upbringing wasn't physically violent but emotionally so. I was bullied in school. I had night terrors from a young age. Stomach issues as a child. I think my mums narcissistic. But I love her and have compassion for her because I know her mum abused her. I have Fibromyalgia which is widespread pain & muscle stiffness. It's like my nervous system has gone haywire. It's constantly on high alert. The brain registers physical pain and emotional pain as the same thing. I've been doing therapy for over a decade now. I'm doing much better than I was though. I've done alot of introspection. And I'm studying Dialectical Behaviour Therapy which is the treatment for complex post traumatic stress and Borderline Personality Disorder.
i kind of agreed until i read the book. this is like the tip of the iceberg and i think that sort of just made it more tragic. despite having a wife and kids. he still couldn't heal because while he loved they couldn't take away the pain and temptation. its sort of just shows just how much this can utterly fuck up a person's life. And even after the perpetrator died it never really went away which is something i don't think enough people realise with trauma
Dr; tl I went totally far astray but I just really wanted to praise BCs performance & try to explain (altho I actually really can’t ) why I’ve watched the series too many times to count. So sorry it’s so long. Truly. I don’t even know how many times I watched this series and unlike people who commented above, I found my childhood “traumatic “ bc my father would frequently get (egged on by my mother) into terrible furious tempers and go upstairs and beat up my oldest sister. Only her. One time (bc there weren’t any locks on the doors in the house but one) my sister locked herself into the hallway bathroom and my dad took a baseball bat and actually broke the door down with the bat. I found that scary as shit. My room was right across the hall. I can’t even begin to understand what children of incest go thru and it would be beyond presumptuous for me to even try, but I grew up thinking that pedophiles were the lowest of the low. In my mind, I found them worse than murderers bc their victims usually lived and having taken away their innocence, their childhood, these monsters went on (generally) to fuck up the lives of other young children. And it wasn’t that I didn’t have a close individual who was raped to compare the different ways it would affect adults versus kids. My mother was raped by a stranger when she had three young children just under the age of four, & the man came into the kitchen w a butcher knife held to the neck of one of my sisters and said would she go upstairs w him and yes, she did, and (unlike many other women of that time) she was treated extremely kindly and gently by the police. This, of course, still affects her life but I just don’t believe it’s the same as being violated before one even hits puberty. That’s just beyond vile. And while at first pedophiles & rapists don’t appear to have a much higher rate of recidivism, one has to take a number of factors into consideration: a large majority of these type of rapes are never reported (bc of family pressure, bc it’s too difficult for the child, for various factors) but say likely at least 80% are not reported; then, one has to actually win at trial (and many prosecutors will make deals taking the actual crime and lowering it so that it doesn’t reveal how truly heinous it was); and then finally, should an actual pedophile get tried and convicted & serves out their term (even possibly an extra length of time to try and protect the children) they will ultimately be released and recidivism only refers to those individuals they ACTUALLY CATCH AGAIN. So many convicted rapists can, in fact, go back to raping children so long as they are not caught. Probably everyone who came here to comment is well aware of these statistics and court problems and what ultimately occurs once the rapist is released; it just bugs the ever loving shit out of me and Benedict did such a fine job of portraying an individual whose life was so completely fucked up bc his father was basically a monster & his mother, afraid of the man (for good reason) decided to not be around and simply left Patrick alone with that animal. That’s the other thing that bothers me. I can certainly understand households wherein the father (or much less likely but it happens, the mother) sneaks around in such a manner that the other parent simply doesn’t know. But in many of these households where the other parent DOES know, I don’t understand how (let’s just say) the mother doesn’t cut and run. I’m certainly not saying that is easy or even that it’s safe. Many violent men will seek out the mother and child(ren). But I worked w DV victims and the one thing I never heard was “I’m sorry I left him after I saw he was starting in on the kids” or “sure, I knew he had started sleeping w “Isabel” but I was so tired and it gave me a rest”. Never. Ever. I *did* hear mothers sobbing saying that they should have left sooner or why did they wait until… but nobody ever said that it wasn’t worth it. And the people came from all different economic situations- poor women, rich women, Ultrareligious women (mostly Jewish), it affected all different types and it was a basic leveling field. And (not so surprisingly) many of the women had been abused as children. They didn’t go and seek out abusers but there was something about them that abusers could recognize; they sought them out. And treated them *_so well_* in the beginning. Each story is personal but the details vary very little from one to the next. You start to wonder if they ever saw an episode of Law & Order: SVU which would simply show them that their situation is so similar. (Albeit, as John Oliver noted, what occurs on all of the Law & Order shows are completely bogus. Not the police jargon but once Sam Waterson arrived, the prosecutors started winning maybe 95% of their cases. It was astonishing. When the show began w Michael Moriarty playing the A.D.A., they basically won and lost fairly equally. Maybe won a bit more often. But they lost many many cases. Like real life. ) I went totally far astray but I just really wanted to praise BCs performance & try to explain (altho I actually really can’t ) why I’ve watched the series too many times to count. So sorry it’s so long.
@@deroswunga You’re so sweet! I’m not even sure why I did, after reading just a few of the comments written here, but as an attorney, if nothing else, I felt as if my having watched the series might have been somewhat different than, say, an average citizen with a general sense of their basic rights. The fascination likely came (as mentioned) from BC & perhaps my childhood (which is nothing in relation to most childhoods discussed in this forum) but my sister (not the one mentioned, just another older one) became a doctor and she can barely watch medical shows bc of how unrealistic everything sounds when the doctors discuss a case or call a code or pretty much everything [as far as I can tell]. She wouldn’t have much to say re the series as a medical doctor, but many of my college friends might have since a lot of them went into psychiatry or social work as a field. However, there were only 2 of 8, for example, that are supposedly my “closest friends” that I ever discussed that part of my childhood with so the discussion of Patrick Melrose might not give me any closure. (I wonder why that is; or not wonder bc I’ve told women again and again and again that they did nothing wrong and it was their abuser who committed a crime, but I cannot bring myself to speak out against my dad when he did so many good things to balance out against the Indefensible, but esp’ly bc when the series came out my dad was already seriously ill and passed away Nov. 23, 2019. OMG, I’ll babbling again. I’m so sorry. You are just abnormally nice. Like a Jewish priest. (If that makes sense.) I won’t write again. But Ty. 🙏🕊️😇😢😭😭
I bought the series because I myself had been abused for years. There was a lot of violence in my family. The series is pretty good the problems you have when you have to live with a trauma are very well presented in the series, irony that patrick melrose and i have the same last name
you're strong. you deserve to be happy.
@@deroswunga thank you
Maybe life is not about being happy, rather tolerating the pain of existence and hoping for the happy moments that come sometimes.
Same here Robin. It took me some time to pluck up the courage to watch this and when I did I found it really triggering and harrowing. I mainly watched it because I’m a fan of Benedict and he owned this part. The scenes of his childhood were truly traumatising for me. I felt sick and I bit my nails down til they bled. I’m in my 50’s and had many years of therapy but whilst my mind understands it wasn’t my fault my limbic brain doesn’t. The body remembers. I still struggle to control the panic and anxiety. I wish you well and hope you find inner peace.
@@robinmelrose5815 meet one of your own kind, Robin ;)
I’ve just finished watching this series. I’m a big fan of Bens and also an adult survivor of a violent childhood. Luckily I’ve never done drugs but I have drunk a lot to try to forget. My dad died 12 years ago but like Patrick, the traumatic memories didn’t die with him. I have CPTSD. Ben did a fantastic job as always. I found it harrowing and triggering. It was difficult to watch. His line about feeling angry but also compassion towards his dad struck a cord with me. That’s how I feel. I hate my dad on one hand but feel compassion on another. He was abused by his Father. It’s not black and white. I have a swirling mass of mixed emotions towards him. The damage to a child is incalculable and the repercussions all through life are immense. We don’t do anywhere near enough to help terrified and traumatised children.
wow, i'm sorry to hear that. but life must go on. and you deserve a better life.
Della Rossa thank you for your kind words.
I also have CPTSD but I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I had a meth addiction. I'm clean now. Except weed. My upbringing wasn't physically violent but emotionally so. I was bullied in school. I had night terrors from a young age. Stomach issues as a child. I think my mums narcissistic. But I love her and have compassion for her because I know her mum abused her. I have Fibromyalgia which is widespread pain & muscle stiffness. It's like my nervous system has gone haywire. It's constantly on high alert. The brain registers physical pain and emotional pain as the same thing. I've been doing therapy for over a decade now. I'm doing much better than I was though. I've done alot of introspection. And I'm studying Dialectical Behaviour Therapy which is the treatment for complex post traumatic stress and Borderline Personality Disorder.
@@lauratheexplorer6390 you're tough and your life is amazing. life is hard, but finally you can through all of this. so proud of you! 💓
Benedict was Amazing!!!!!!!!!! Bravo 👏 👏👏❤️👏👏
he certainly should have gotten an Oscar for this portrayal. He is ripped off time & time again. Nobody else does what he does.
One word- PERFECT.
Holy shit. This is amazing!
Love this!!!
Perfect I love it
PERFECT♥️
I still think that he is 221 Baker street boy😉💙
Oooo. It's amazing!!! Tnank you!!!
Precioso video!!.
The only thing I didn't like about the show was how in the last two episodes he just randomly got kids and a wife.
i kind of agreed until i read the book. this is like the tip of the iceberg and i think that sort of just made it more tragic. despite having a wife and kids. he still couldn't heal because while he loved they couldn't take away the pain and temptation. its sort of just shows just how much this can utterly fuck up a person's life. And even after the perpetrator died it never really went away which is something i don't think enough people realise with trauma
If you think about it, the five episodes are set over 30 years....
Hello ! This is amazing, i loved it so so much.
I was wondering where did you get your scenes for this edit ? I can't find them anywhere
download the series, and pick some scenes for edit.
👍❤
We are all Patrick Melrose
Dr; tl I went totally far astray but I just really wanted to praise BCs performance & try to explain (altho I actually really can’t ) why I’ve watched the series too many times to count. So sorry it’s so long. Truly.
I don’t even know how many times I watched this series and unlike people who commented above, I found my childhood “traumatic “ bc my father would frequently get (egged on by my mother) into terrible furious tempers and go upstairs and beat up my oldest sister. Only her. One time (bc there weren’t any locks on the doors in the house but one) my sister locked herself into the hallway bathroom and my dad took a baseball bat and actually broke the door down with the bat. I found that scary as shit. My room was right across the hall.
I can’t even begin to understand what children of incest go thru and it would be beyond presumptuous for me to even try, but I grew up thinking that pedophiles were the lowest of the low. In my mind, I found them worse than murderers bc their victims usually lived and having taken away their innocence, their childhood, these monsters went on (generally) to fuck up the lives of other young children. And it wasn’t that I didn’t have a close individual who was raped to compare the different ways it would affect adults versus kids. My mother was raped by a stranger when she had three young children just under the age of four, & the man came into the kitchen w a butcher knife held to the neck of one of my sisters and said would she go upstairs w him and yes, she did, and (unlike many other women of that time) she was treated extremely kindly and gently by the police. This, of course, still affects her life but I just don’t believe it’s the same as being violated before one even hits puberty. That’s just beyond vile. And while at first pedophiles & rapists don’t appear to have a much higher rate of recidivism, one has to take a number of factors into consideration: a large majority of these type of rapes are never reported (bc of family pressure, bc it’s too difficult for the child, for various factors) but say likely at least 80% are not reported; then, one has to actually win at trial (and many prosecutors will make deals taking the actual crime and lowering it so that it doesn’t reveal how truly heinous it was); and then finally, should an actual pedophile get tried and convicted & serves out their term (even possibly an extra length of time to try and protect the children) they will ultimately be released and recidivism only refers to those individuals they ACTUALLY CATCH AGAIN. So many convicted rapists can, in fact, go back to raping children so long as they are not caught.
Probably everyone who came here to comment is well aware of these statistics and court problems and what ultimately occurs once the rapist is released; it just bugs the ever loving shit out of me and Benedict did such a fine job of portraying an individual whose life was so completely fucked up bc his father was basically a monster & his mother, afraid of the man (for good reason) decided to not be around and simply left Patrick alone with that animal. That’s the other thing that bothers me. I can certainly understand households wherein the father (or much less likely but it happens, the mother) sneaks around in such a manner that the other parent simply doesn’t know. But in many of these households where the other parent DOES know, I don’t understand how (let’s just say) the mother doesn’t cut and run. I’m certainly not saying that is easy or even that it’s safe. Many violent men will seek out the mother and child(ren). But I worked w DV victims and the one thing I never heard was “I’m sorry I left him after I saw he was starting in on the kids” or “sure, I knew he had started sleeping w “Isabel” but I was so tired and it gave me a rest”. Never. Ever.
I *did* hear mothers sobbing saying that they should have left sooner or why did they wait until… but nobody ever said that it wasn’t worth it. And the people came from all different economic situations- poor women, rich women, Ultrareligious women (mostly Jewish), it affected all different types and it was a basic leveling field. And (not so surprisingly) many of the women had been abused as children. They didn’t go and seek out abusers but there was something about them that abusers could recognize; they sought them out. And treated them *_so well_* in the beginning. Each story is personal but the details vary very little from one to the next. You start to wonder if they ever saw an episode of Law & Order: SVU which would simply show them that their situation is so similar. (Albeit, as John Oliver noted, what occurs on all of the Law & Order shows are completely bogus. Not the police jargon but once Sam Waterson arrived, the prosecutors started winning maybe 95% of their cases. It was astonishing. When the show began w Michael Moriarty playing the A.D.A., they basically won and lost fairly equally. Maybe won a bit more often. But they lost many many cases. Like real life. )
I went totally far astray but I just really wanted to praise BCs performance & try to explain (altho I actually really can’t ) why I’ve watched the series too many times to count. So sorry it’s so long.
thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻🥺
@@deroswunga You’re so sweet! I’m not even sure why I did, after reading just a few of the comments written here, but as an attorney, if nothing else, I felt as if my having watched the series might have been somewhat different than, say, an average citizen with a general sense of their basic rights. The fascination likely came (as mentioned) from BC & perhaps my childhood (which is nothing in relation to most childhoods discussed in this forum) but my sister (not the one mentioned, just another older one) became a doctor and she can barely watch medical shows bc of how unrealistic everything sounds when the doctors discuss a case or call a code or pretty much everything [as far as I can tell]. She wouldn’t have much to say re the series as a medical doctor, but many of my college friends might have since a lot of them went into psychiatry or social work as a field. However, there were only 2 of 8, for example, that are supposedly my “closest friends” that I ever discussed that part of my childhood with so the discussion of Patrick Melrose might not give me any closure. (I wonder why that is; or not wonder bc I’ve told women again and again and again that they did nothing wrong and it was their abuser who committed a crime, but I cannot bring myself to speak out against my dad when he did so many good things to balance out against the Indefensible, but esp’ly bc when the series came out my dad was already seriously ill and passed away Nov. 23, 2019. OMG, I’ll babbling again. I’m so sorry. You are just abnormally nice. Like a Jewish priest. (If that makes sense.) I won’t write again. But Ty. 🙏🕊️😇😢😭😭
what's hard to leave childhood or drugs??????
Balla
both?
childhood obviously, our memories play an important part in the story we keep telling ourselves of who we are.
@@anejaG55 Wow, that's profound. I don't remember most of my childhood. Only bits and pieces.
@Laura Mundy those bits and pieces are who we are. Very hard to let them go.