Comedian Steven Wright Reveals Which of His Jokes Is His All-Time Favorite | The Rich Eisen Show

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
  • Comedian Steven Wright joins Rich Eisen in-studio where he reveals which of his thousands of classic jokes is his all-time favorite and how he developed his signature deadpan style.
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ความคิดเห็น • 1K

  • @TheDeathmask48
    @TheDeathmask48 ปีที่แล้ว +333

    "Everywhere is walking distance, if you have the time" -Steven Wright

    • @toolrammsteindeftones
      @toolrammsteindeftones ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Genius and hilarious

    • @scooter2163
      @scooter2163 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      "One day I walked into my apartment and realized everything was replaced with an exact replica". Love this man.

    • @Steve_Stowers
      @Steve_Stowers ปีที่แล้ว

      Google Maps agrees: it'll let me select Walking directions even if it will take days.

    • @josephthomas2226
      @josephthomas2226 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i use that one all the time

    • @bluzbrother
      @bluzbrother ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The level of in-articulate speech that masterfully hits the spot leaves my gut hurting. He’s like the opposite of Carlin, but still just as hilarious.

  • @tod1045
    @tod1045 ปีที่แล้ว +105

    My favorite Steven Writght line, "yesterday, I...........no, that wasn't me"

    • @DarinRamsay
      @DarinRamsay ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I still use it. Brilliant. I’ve taught my 12 year old daughter to use it with her teachers. They’ll get the joke. Her friends won’t. Can’t wait for the calls from the school. 🤣🤣

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Classic SW!

    • @Rama41
      @Rama41 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      "Two years ago.... No, wait. It was last night."

  • @samsonthecurrent
    @samsonthecurrent ปีที่แล้ว +145

    I love his joke about getting pulled over for speeding. The cop says, “The speed limit is 50 miles per hour” and he says, “I wasn’t gonna be out that long.”

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's a good point

    • @candy.......
      @candy....... 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I love that joke too

    • @ppumpkin3282
      @ppumpkin3282 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yeah, I am planning to go only 10 miles in an hour, at the rate of ten miles every minute.

    • @charleybarley914
      @charleybarley914 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      same as going to the 24hour convience store and its closed, and the guy locking the place up when Steven points out the "open 24 hours sign" tell him "Not in a row"

    • @Axolotl_Mischief
      @Axolotl_Mischief 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      'I used to work at a fire hydrant factory.
      You couldn't park anywhere near the place'.

  • @user-jj3tw1sr7o
    @user-jj3tw1sr7o ปีที่แล้ว +304

    My late father’s favorite thing in life was telling jokes. When he was hospice dying, half unconscious the last thing I heard him say was a joke. For his birthdays and Christmas, I would buy us tickets to comedy shows. The last one I took him to before it was too hard for him to get around was Steven Wright. He told those jokes for weeks afterward. Thanks Steven for the memories.

    • @darioinfini
      @darioinfini ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Some people are like that. My father was funny his whole life and now he's entering into that stage of life. I call him a part time resident of himself. Yet when I see him he still makes me laugh. I tell him the last thing that will remain of you will be your sense of humor. And it's true. It's his core essence.

    • @southsideman4891
      @southsideman4891 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👏👏👏👏

    • @alexcampbell3032
      @alexcampbell3032 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@darioinfini But, do you make him laugh?
      And what's it like if you do?

    • @LK-bz9sk
      @LK-bz9sk ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Fantastic. Thanks for sharing.

    • @davismavis2834
      @davismavis2834 ปีที่แล้ว

      AAA?

  • @robvegart
    @robvegart ปีที่แล้ว +123

    I have been listening to Steven Wright for almost 40 years. The absolute best dead pan comedian ever!

    • @KNR6292
      @KNR6292 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He is!! Steven Wright brings belly laughs
      Jake Johannsen has a characteristic delivery too, he acts super anxious and it's hilarious. Mitch Hedberg has that stoner best friend delivery.

    • @1nvisible1
      @1nvisible1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      *Steven: "The other day I was at the Canadian Border, they asked 'Do you have any blank?' "*
      *I said, "what do you need?"*

    • @genoquattrochi4389
      @genoquattrochi4389 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@KNR6292😊4😅😊😅😅😅😅😅😅😅4😊😊😅

    • @genoquattrochi4389
      @genoquattrochi4389 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ⁴😅4😊😅😂😅😊⁴⁴😅4😅😅😅😅😅😅4😂😅44😅4444😅😅 😊444444😊😅😅⁴😅444😊44😅😅😊😊⁴😅😅😊😅😊😊😊😊😅44😅😅4😅4😅😅 😊44😅4⁴😅4😅😊😊4😅😅😊😊😅😅😅😅😊😅

    • @genoquattrochi4389
      @genoquattrochi4389 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😅😊😊😊4

  • @1991pony
    @1991pony ปีที่แล้ว +295

    To this day, when I hear someone say "it's a small world", I always reply, " but I'd hate to have to paint it". Thanks Steven.

    • @MrNatural_OG
      @MrNatural_OG ปีที่แล้ว

      same

    • @KaiTiura
      @KaiTiura ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's my email signature.🤣

    • @deanevangelista6359
      @deanevangelista6359 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I use that all the time.

    • @ratso8860
      @ratso8860 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My mother was telling me a story recently to which she mused, "it's a small world." Without even thinking I said, "but I wouldn't wanna paint it." She didn't know what the hell I was saying!

    • @danmiller6761
      @danmiller6761 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same!!!

  • @MikeKobb
    @MikeKobb ปีที่แล้ว +321

    One of my favorite comedians ever. "I put instant coffee in the microwave and I almost went back in time."

    • @AC-gw4qu
      @AC-gw4qu ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I bought a microwave fireplace. I can spend all night in front of the fire in 20 minutes.

    • @patinthechat6452
      @patinthechat6452 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I pretty much have "I Have A Pony" memorized

    • @wardepartment100
      @wardepartment100 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I bought some powdered water, and I didn't know what to add. 😂

    • @PhantomFilmAustralia
      @PhantomFilmAustralia ปีที่แล้ว +5

      "I also bought some batteries but they weren't included..."

    • @funnylookingfoetus
      @funnylookingfoetus ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I read that in my mind with Steven's voice and laughed out loud :D

  • @isaacramirez3828
    @isaacramirez3828 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    His best joke came at the Academy Awards when he won for Best Short Film (yes, that really happened). His acceptance speech was... "Now, I'm glad I cut the last hour-and-a-half out of the movie. Thank you."

    • @jbjacobs9514
      @jbjacobs9514 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Did Goliath type this comment, Davey? hehe

    • @southsideman4891
      @southsideman4891 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      LOL!

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic ปีที่แล้ว +3

      haha! excellent

    • @cleverusername1894
      @cleverusername1894 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Oh, that just made me laugh SO hard!

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      🤣Hilarious! Steven Wright definitely one of my most favorites!

  • @DCarr10760
    @DCarr10760 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    My favorite is, "99% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name."

  • @domer1980
    @domer1980 ปีที่แล้ว +244

    “There’s a fine line between ‘fishing’ and ‘standing by a river looking stupid’.” My favorite SW joke!

    • @ibleebinU
      @ibleebinU ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That is a perfect joke!

    • @AmanOU2be
      @AmanOU2be ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think that is the best written joke I have ever seen.

    • @jenniferwentland1736
      @jenniferwentland1736 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My favorite: “My friend has a circular driveway, he can’t get out.” SW-😂

    • @DannySullivanMusic
      @DannySullivanMusic ปีที่แล้ว

      haha! amazing

    • @UFwho
      @UFwho ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🎉I literally opened the comments to say that… that’s the truest joke ever

  • @GD1082
    @GD1082 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    My favorite was, “I went to a General Store once, they wouldn't let me purchase anything specific."

    • @cleverusername1894
      @cleverusername1894 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Isn't there one about an "inconvenience store", or is that a Far Side comic?

    • @craiga2002
      @craiga2002 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or a corporal, either...

    • @ThinPicks
      @ThinPicks 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I remember " went to the convenience store and the guy was closing up, I said hey it says open 24 hours, and he said yeah, but not in a row". This man's brain is truly unique.😂

  • @omlooper
    @omlooper ปีที่แล้ว +117

    “If you melted dry ice could you swim without getting wet?” The best.

  • @TheFamilyWoodworker
    @TheFamilyWoodworker ปีที่แล้ว +126

    "You can't have everything... where would you put it?" Still comes to mind whenever I hear people talking about running out of room to buy more stuff. Love this guy's stand up.

    • @ATEC101
      @ATEC101 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Everywhere. Most of his jokes just take one more step, if you actually paid attention.

  • @jishcatg
    @jishcatg ปีที่แล้ว +68

    My favorite of his is "With all the sponges in the ocean, you'd think the water wouldn't be so high."

    • @Observ45er
      @Observ45er ปีที่แล้ว

      The reason sea level is rising is because they keep taking sponges out to sell.

    • @jonathannewell9123
      @jonathannewell9123 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "Sponges grow in the ocean...... that kills me"

  • @391349x
    @391349x ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Two of my favorites:
    I once worked at a fire hydrant company, couldn't find a place to park anywhere.
    I went into Denny's and the sign said, "Breakfast anytime". So I order French toast in the eighteen century.

    • @voicetube
      @voicetube ปีที่แล้ว +13

      *"… So I ordered French toast in the Renaissance…"

  • @robtucker6303
    @robtucker6303 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Love the joke… Went to a store, saw a sign that says Open 24 Hours… saw a guy locking the doors… asked him, I thought you were open 24 hours… he looked at me and said.. NOT IN A ROW.
    Love this guy so much. 😂😂😂

    • @clays1507
      @clays1507 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly!

    • @toolrammsteindeftones
      @toolrammsteindeftones ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

    • @dougcastleman9518
      @dougcastleman9518 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My favorite of his too!

    • @johnnyjoey
      @johnnyjoey ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That’s my favourite too! I tell it all the time! 😂😂😂

    • @southsideman4891
      @southsideman4891 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      HAHAHAHAHHSHA

  • @marmadukewinterbotham2599
    @marmadukewinterbotham2599 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    "I crossed the border into Canada. They asked me if I had any firearms. I said 'What do you need?' " My favourite.

    • @guittadabe5214
      @guittadabe5214 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I never heard that one! It's absolutely awesome!

    • @MrTruckerf
      @MrTruckerf 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hahaha! I have never heard that one and I have listened to many, many of his jokes.

  • @patdennehy8564
    @patdennehy8564 ปีที่แล้ว +79

    I work as a mental health recreational therapist: I use a lot of Steven’s jokes to lighted the mood in certain groups I run. He is a genius. Thank you Steven, been a fan for multiple decades.

    • @johns7530
      @johns7530 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Great idea. I think humor is the only thing that can save humanity. This man is an absolute Mozart when it comes to comedy, incredibly gifted mind.

    • @duderama6750
      @duderama6750 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      At first glance, I thought you were a fan of multiple sclerosis.

    • @KairuHakubi
      @KairuHakubi ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@duderama6750 what if you had multiple sclerosis and multiple personality disorder. so there's other people inside you, but they couldn't make it up the stairs to the brain today.

    • @bryankean8521
      @bryankean8521 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "I work as a mental health recreational therapist" I read that thinking it was an SW Line to a joke!

  • @CannonKnight
    @CannonKnight ปีที่แล้ว +97

    "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

    • @nascarsteve
      @nascarsteve ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Best joke ever.

    • @duderama6750
      @duderama6750 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'll make 1 for you Steven.
      That'll be $200. Do not pass Go. Just pay me.

  • @timking-iy9jw
    @timking-iy9jw ปีที่แล้ว +109

    "I bought some dehydrated water ...but I didn't know what to add"😂😂😂 that line cracked me up so much as a kid, it's still the 1st thing I think if every time I hear his name. Dude is brilliant....best schtick comic ever.

  • @joelabbott
    @joelabbott ปีที่แล้ว +42

    “Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday’.”

  • @tomy.1846
    @tomy.1846 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    You know Wright is incredible when the comments with his jokes makes you laugh out loud! Never laughed so much reading comments! He's awesome.

  • @richstewart1
    @richstewart1 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    My favorite: I was in Vegas and got into a furious argument with a roulette dealer over what he considered an odd number.

  • @allyourbase888
    @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    “I was breastfed by my Grandmother, now I can only drink milk past it’s expiration date.” ~ Steven Wright LEGEND 👑

    • @poetcomic1
      @poetcomic1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Never heard that before - its wonderful. I just said it to myself with Steve's deadpan voice and a pause in just the right place.

    • @charleybarley914
      @charleybarley914 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Steven was born via C-section..you cant really notice but whenever he leaves the house he goes out thru a window

  • @davidm8717
    @davidm8717 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Steven''s " I plan to live forever, so far so good" works well at the Dr's. office

  • @sonorousbelchpipe1021
    @sonorousbelchpipe1021 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    "I once accidentally swapped my car keys for the house keys. When I put the ignition key in the door it started up the house. So I drove it around for awhile. A cop eventually pulled me over. He asked me where I lived. I said: 'Right here.'" Classic.

  • @darioinfini
    @darioinfini ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Wright is the legend that didn't die. Nice to see him still around.

    • @warcat69
      @warcat69 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I didn't even know he was sick.

  • @floydargue
    @floydargue ปีที่แล้ว +39

    "I went to the hardware store and got some used paint. It was in the shape of a house." He is so absurdly hilarious. :-)

    • @ThinPicks
      @ThinPicks 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "Bought some powdered water but, I don't know what to add. Then I bought some batteries but they weren't included so I had to buy 'em again"! Unmatchable.👍

  • @spaceo8568
    @spaceo8568 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    I want a new special from this guy so bad. Gravity and Wicker Chairs is one of the best. I could go all day. "No matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature" is one of my favorites. He truly is the Confusious of comedy.

  • @Krazy_Shorts
    @Krazy_Shorts ปีที่แล้ว +20

    "Rolled through a stop sign, cop pulls me over says hey you know you rolled through that stop sign?, I said i don't believe everything i read"

  • @Freddie7191
    @Freddie7191 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    "The guy who wrote the alphabet song wrote everything" is the best joke by anyone ever. Craig Ferguson really needs another show so he and Steven Wright can get together again, they had some of the best chemistry ever.

    • @robtucker6303
      @robtucker6303 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You’re so right… Steven, Craig Ferguson, Bill Burr, Norm McDonald, and Dennis Miller each made me laugh out loud and think deeper later.

    • @southsideman4891
      @southsideman4891 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh yeah? I got to check that out

    • @ameremortal
      @ameremortal ปีที่แล้ว

      What’s the joke?

  • @pattystomper1
    @pattystomper1 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    I like the joke about hitchhiking and being picked up a car carrier:
    There was no room in the truck, so he let me ride in one of the cars.
    He picked up 6 more hitchhikers.
    Each one of us got our own car.
    Then he was stopped for speeding, and the cop gave us all tickets.

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂

    • @0anant0
      @0anant0 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's actually Sergio Aragones's jokes from MAD comics (in the bottom margin of a page -- I actually have that issue).
      There is a truck carrying these new cars and a cop gives speeding ticket to the driver of the truck -- and also to all the cars that the truck is carrying.

    • @charleybarley914
      @charleybarley914 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      "I got a humidifer and dehumifier for my birthday, so I put em in a room together and let em fight it out"

  • @descendantoffools9767
    @descendantoffools9767 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    "I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw this guy pushing this long line of shopping carts and i yelled to him, 'Hey, somebody else might want to use one of those", - Steven Wright

    • @bobbygoyea
      @bobbygoyea ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good one Descendentsfools,
      never heard it b4!

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣

  • @johnnemo6509
    @johnnemo6509 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    My favorite Steven wright line " I woke up and everything in my house had been replaced with an exact replica" that is like Haiku for the paranoid. True genius

    • @Doowopsid
      @Doowopsid ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Definitely one of my favorites too!

    • @Shane661
      @Shane661 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That was the first one I thought of as a favorite. :D

    • @chezchezchezchez
      @chezchezchezchez ปีที่แล้ว +3

      “Stolen, and replaced with…”

    • @AmanOU2be
      @AmanOU2be ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Do I know you?

    • @johnnemo6509
      @johnnemo6509 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@AmanOU2be I not sure if I even know myself but if anybody opened a conversation with you with "I woke up this morning..." or " I was an only Child....eventually"......could be. Respect to all.

  • @chalkbunt81
    @chalkbunt81 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I always liked, " I have a map of the United States....actual size". Runner up for me is, " He was a peripheral visionary, he saw into the future, but way off to the side". He had lots of nuggets. Lol

    • @ricomusap614
      @ricomusap614 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Way off to the side😂😂😂

    • @skierpage
      @skierpage ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ... It's a b**** to fold. People ask me where I live, I say "E5".

    • @chalkbunt81
      @chalkbunt81 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@skierpage , I forgot that additional quip! Lol

  • @davidalexander3320
    @davidalexander3320 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    "I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier and put them in the same room and let them fight it out"

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Has anyone every tried that out?

  • @dtrain138
    @dtrain138 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    One of my favorites ALL TIME! "Thoughts about the past always bring back memories."

    • @allyourbase888
      @allyourbase888 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sounds like a quote from Kamala. 😂

    • @guittadabe5214
      @guittadabe5214 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "Whenever I think about the past, it brings back so many memories..."!

    • @0anant0
      @0anant0 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      A similar one from SW is: "I sometimes reminisce about people I have never met"

  • @SRSOSChannel2
    @SRSOSChannel2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    "I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths." My favorite Steven Wright pun.

    • @johnchurch3431
      @johnchurch3431 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Not a pun, but I agree it's one of his best.

    • @SRSOSChannel2
      @SRSOSChannel2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@johnchurch3431 I thought about the use of the word pun right after I wrote that. Thanks. lol

    • @cleverusername1894
      @cleverusername1894 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      And that's basically agoraphobia.

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I actually feel that way. I love to go to the mountains but I really don't like going to flatlands or the beach. I like to feel like theres something around me. Feels more vulnerable in wide open spaces.

  • @thegoatchild3545
    @thegoatchild3545 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I said it before and I'll say it again. Steven Wright is the Salvador Dalí of stand-up.

    • @pibly7784
      @pibly7784 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      YES ! Great comparison !

  • @michaelbarton5169
    @michaelbarton5169 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "I lost a button hole... where am I gonna find a button hole?" Steven Wright is one of my absolute favorites

  • @toolrammsteindeftones
    @toolrammsteindeftones ปีที่แล้ว +40

    His jokes and Mitch Hedberg jokes are gold. Some people don't get em. Hilarious

    • @Oleg_K.
      @Oleg_K. 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I used to get these types of jokes... I still do, but I used to, too.

    • @johnmc3862
      @johnmc3862 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hedberg was a poor impersonation of Wright.

    • @branrx
      @branrx 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yep the two best one liner comedians

  • @FiveFigsDigital
    @FiveFigsDigital ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Two favorites:" I put Instant Coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time." "I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of widths."

    • @southsideman4891
      @southsideman4891 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LOOOOOL!!!!

    • @marasmusine
      @marasmusine ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I think the coffee line is my favourite too.

  • @richvail7551
    @richvail7551 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    It was great to see Steven get such a kick out of this crew.
    I busted when Steve told them he wasn’t actually at a funeral. You guys thought it was real. 😂😂😂😂
    That was such an awesome banter.

  • @stuartlawson6975
    @stuartlawson6975 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    "My dog is a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him"

  • @just1mansopinion
    @just1mansopinion ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Saw him live some years ago. He told some jokes that had me laughing so hard it took my breath away and then added another punch line and there was no air left in my lungs to expel more laughter. I literally thought I was going to die of suffocation. I actually had the question in my mind, "Wow, I wonder if anyone has ever died at a comedy club of suffocation?"
    Cheers\=/\=/

    • @DCarr10760
      @DCarr10760 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I had that exact same experience at a Robin Williams comedy show, I remember thinking, "I hope the next joke isn't funny so I can take a breath!"

    • @TampaDave
      @TampaDave ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What is wrong with you guys? If I can't die saving someone, my next wish is to die laughing.

    • @laserworm2293
      @laserworm2293 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I had this exact experience until he was 3 jokes past the one I was laughing at.

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      To die laughing, I can think of worse ways!

  • @shanebush2751
    @shanebush2751 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    He's been one of my favorite comedians since the 80's. And he is phenomenal live. Severely underrated.

    • @Cosmo-Kramer
      @Cosmo-Kramer ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He's not underrated, lol, the dude's a stand-up legend!

    • @mjp96
      @mjp96 ปีที่แล้ว

      was. in the '80's. this is just canned laughter zzzzz

    • @kidwave1
      @kidwave1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ye, I'm pretty sure he is QUITE HIGHLY RATED, and has been a "household name" since the early 80's bro. His Carson appearances are MONUMENTS, and he has had a zillion roles in movies and TV, and, he has 1 Oscar win, out of 6 nominations!

    • @kidwave1
      @kidwave1 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Cosmo-Kramer PRECISELY! He is QUITE HIGHLY RATED, and revered my EVERY comedian, and has been a "household name" since the early 80's. His Carson appearances are MONUMENTS, and he has had a zillion roles in movies and TV, and, he has 1 Oscar win, out of 6 nominations!

    • @bara7331
      @bara7331 ปีที่แล้ว

      stop it

  • @zekelucente9702
    @zekelucente9702 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    My favorite Stephen Wright joke was “I had an apartment that had a light switch by the front door that never worked, but out of habit I would always flip it on and off whenever I came and went. Then one day years late I got a letter from a woman in East Germany that said “quit it”. 😂

  • @OldFellaDave
    @OldFellaDave ปีที่แล้ว +14

    My favourite Stephen Wright joke of all time is: I'm cesarian born, you can't tell, but every time I leave the house, I go out the window ...

  • @luprek
    @luprek ปีที่แล้ว +40

    I did the exact same thing when I was a child! I couldn’t repeat the Carlin or Eddie Murphy jokes, but I had cassettes of Steven Wright and absolutely loved them, so I was 10 years old telling my friends these jokes and sometimes writing them down because they were hilarious. And he’s one of the few comedians that I think can actually be hilarious to a ten year old and just as funny to an adult.

    • @ucarnat
      @ucarnat ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me, too. Would watch with my best friend, we memorized his whole specials, and I still quote Steven Wright in some context at least a couple of times a week.

    • @toolrammsteindeftones
      @toolrammsteindeftones ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not sure many 10 year olds would get the jokes, but then again some 40 year olds don't get them either. Lol

    • @luprek
      @luprek ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@toolrammsteindeftones Oh, there were definitely ones that I didn't get at the time and others that I thought I got but realized a couple years later that I hadn't, but lots of his jokes I think can appeal to all ages. His ant/rice one was my favorite when I was little, and I still find it hilarious, especially with 2-3 distinct punchlines.

  • @sardi114
    @sardi114 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My favorite - sometimes you can’t hear me because I’m in parentheses 😂😂😂

  • @JenBriSeth
    @JenBriSeth ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "Hello, Diane, I'm Bucky Goldstein" is my favorite Steven Wright punchline.

  • @ComaDave
    @ComaDave ปีที่แล้ว +25

    "When I was a child, we had a sandpit.
    It was a quicksand pit.
    I was an only child......eventually."

    • @johnnemo6509
      @johnnemo6509 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I love to use the last line without the sand pit lead in when people ask if I have any brothers or sisters.....always stops the conversation dead.

    • @Oleg_K.
      @Oleg_K. 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Boy, did the host butcher it. It's a tall order, Steven's delivery, but that really didn't do the joke justice.

  • @stratusclouding9433
    @stratusclouding9433 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Favorite part of any Steven set is when he comes out and says... 'thanks..' Gets me every time.

    • @chezchezchezchez
      @chezchezchezchez ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don’t get it.

    • @travisjazzbo3490
      @travisjazzbo3490 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@chezchezchezchez They are applauding heavy for him when he comes onto the stage and Steven does what he does with a super low-key 'thanks'

    • @stratusclouding9433
      @stratusclouding9433 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@travisjazzbo3490 Totally correct.

  • @Rob-dp3vr
    @Rob-dp3vr ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Totally underrated. I mean, we all know how great he is. But you rarely hear him talked about as one of the great, but he simply is.

    • @Veaseify
      @Veaseify ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not exactly an acquired taste but his stuff is too abstract for a lot of people I think. Like, it's not topical or really grounded in reality in any way so if you can't enter his world you won't see what's funny.

    • @Rob-dp3vr
      @Rob-dp3vr ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Veaseify also some people need a more hyper approach to make them feel like its a comic event. Like Robin Williams, rest in peace. Comic legend. But honestly, I didn't find him so funny. He had his moments of course. But he was such a buzzsaw of comedy that I found that people were laughing just because they felt they should be, and he was coaxing the laughs out of the audience. He could tell 5 fast jokes in a row. The first one funny, the next 3 not, then end with funny again, but fans would be rolling the entire time as if it was 5 funny jokes.
      Steven Wright uses nothing but humor. He has stripped away all tricks and energy. The jokes themselves are so deep usually. Sometimes it takes a second, and then boom. In fact, his delivery is anti-energy. He sells his jokes while putting himself at a disadvantage of sounding bored and uninspired. ThAT is how funny he is. Sam Kinison was another overrated comic. Jokes surrounded by hyper delivery, screaming, etc. As if "I think I'm supposed to be laughing really hard right now, because he's putting in so much effort, so I'll laugh until everyone else stops"

    • @SonnyGTA
      @SonnyGTA ปีที่แล้ว

      STOP SAYING UNDERRATED FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!

    • @al201103
      @al201103 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Back in the 80s, when the alternative comedy scene was really blooming, he was just in a league of his own. I don't think he got the recognition (or the money) that he deserved, but he was AA list from an audience point of view.
      "Somebody broke in my house last night and stole everything but replaced it with an exact replica"

  • @corky8490
    @corky8490 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My favorite was always "I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious!"

  • @CaseyWinehouse
    @CaseyWinehouse ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I got to see Steven Wright when he came through Iowa about 7 years ago. Made sure I got to see him. It was at a small casino. He mostly told his “greatest hits” and a lot of the audience didn’t get the act at first. I don’t think most of them knew who he was. But after a few of his real zingers, the real brain busters, the crowd warmed up. Their was an old woman actually crying from laughter (she was also pretty wasted). He got multiple standing ovations throughout the show. I’m happy he’s still around. He is a lesser known legend to the public but so many comedians cite him as an influence and a good friend.

    • @johns7530
      @johns7530 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I saw him live too a few years ago. I mean there are a lot of great comedians, but none weirder and funnier than this guy. He's so unique, because unlike most comedians who get their material from making relatable observations about things or their experiences, Steven is coming up with stuff that doesn't relate to anything in life, with tremendous creativity. Like "I was out in the desert and a UFO landed. Three 1 inch tall guys came up to me. I asked them 'are you really one inch tall?' They said 'no, we're really very far away'." I mean for those who can appreciate him, I think the guy is a savant/genius. One of the funniest people who has ever lived.

  • @kidwave1
    @kidwave1 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    An impossible task, ...to pick my favorite Steven Wright joke, nearly every one of them is beyond hilarious, ... but If had to pick 2, ...I'd go with the 2 that I quote most often. 1) "I want to get a tattoo over my entire body ..of ME ...but TALLER!" lololol and 2) "I went to unlock my houses front door, but I put my car key in the knob, ....so I started it up my house and drove around it around! ...lolol... then I parked in the middle of the highway and yelled out to everyone "Get the hell out of my driveway!" lolololololol

  • @ibsam30
    @ibsam30 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    My favorite joke of his and I still use it to this day is, "Day one, Still tired from the move".

  • @twoblacklabs904
    @twoblacklabs904 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    The one that always gets me is: “This morning, I folded my bed back into a couch. I nearly broke both arms because it’s not that kind of bed.”

  • @conradthefourth
    @conradthefourth ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I did a comedy contest once and one of the judges said I reminded them of Steven Wright a little bit. So far it's the best compliment I have gotten.

    • @johnchurch3431
      @johnchurch3431 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah, you're comment sounds exactly like his voice.

    • @PR-BEACHBOY
      @PR-BEACHBOY ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Maybe it was your hair?

  • @viewoftheaskew
    @viewoftheaskew ปีที่แล้ว +41

    This was priceless, I haven't seen of heard anything from him in years so it was nice to see him still going and you guys were a great crew to host him!

    • @skylark4901
      @skylark4901 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I ended up here because a friend texted me one of his jokes, I said "he was awesome, I wonder what ever happened to him?" My friend said "didn't he die?" So I looked him up and saw that he's 67 and very much alive! I told my friend Steven probably would have thought that was funny! 🤣

  • @wewalkamongyou6481
    @wewalkamongyou6481 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    “If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?”

  • @JasonPeltier
    @JasonPeltier ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You can tell how appreciative Steven is of the guy telling his elementary school story. So cool. Steven is a master comedian!

  • @rostamr4096
    @rostamr4096 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    There is no one like Steven Wright...love this guy

    • @SmallSpoonBrigade
      @SmallSpoonBrigade ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Making entire comedy routines using nothing but one liners and really short bits is extremely difficult. There's a reason why so few comedians go that route.

    • @skierpage
      @skierpage ปีที่แล้ว

      Mitch Hedberg (RIP) was similar.

  • @andrewhickman7214
    @andrewhickman7214 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "How old are you kid?"
    "I'm six."
    "When I was your age I was seven."

  • @kurtgellert9166
    @kurtgellert9166 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Wright is a brilliant comedic mind with superb deadpan delivery.

    • @TampaDave
      @TampaDave ปีที่แล้ว

      Deadest pan ever, lol.

  • @TruthSurge
    @TruthSurge 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Hard to imagine him just bellylaughing but that AA, AAA, 9 volt really made him laugh. That was a clever question after the battery thing.

    • @stevieray2804
      @stevieray2804 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      But a 9 volt battery cannot be connected incorrectly ..... it only fits one way !

  • @robertbangkok
    @robertbangkok ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My favorite Steven Wright joke: "I told my wife I was going out for walk." "How long are you going to be gone?" -- "The whole time...."

  • @user-pm4nj2rr5i
    @user-pm4nj2rr5i ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "I like to reminisce with people I don't know". - Steven Wright

    • @Barnstormers90
      @Barnstormers90 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "granted it takes longer"

  • @patrickleitgeb
    @patrickleitgeb ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Steven Wright is a massive legend.

  • @dougvazquez6571
    @dougvazquez6571 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    My favorite is the one about eating a bag of Oreo cookies in the dentists waiting room before your appointment. That one tore me up!🤣

    • @skierpage
      @skierpage ปีที่แล้ว

      I heard it as "My dental hygienist is very attractive, so..."

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว

      I've actually done that. Seriously why do the work for them? It's like cleaning up before the maid comes.

  • @chucknola484
    @chucknola484 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That grandfather battery punchline hits you out of nowhere. And I was right with the Rich Eisen crew thinking that was a real story.
    His sense of humor is a breath of fresh air.

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว

      I'll have to use that next time I go to the funeral home. You think that's crazy but the funniest stuff ever said in my family came from funerals. Like my aunt leaning over my uncles casket, crying and saying he had the cutest buns.

  • @Rubyslipperspetconcierge
    @Rubyslipperspetconcierge ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My favorite jokes that he said in his standup was probably how he loved to collect things and he has a large shell collection that he keeps scattered across the beaches of the world and then he asks “maybe you have seen it?”. Or how he talked about how he has a map of the united states that is the actual size and the last summer before he folded it. When people ask him where he lives, he says E5. he is a genius. 😂😂😂

  • @BrianVallotton
    @BrianVallotton ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "When I think of the past, it brings up so many memories." S. Wright

  • @Batdanceohio
    @Batdanceohio ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My favorite Steven Wright jokes:
    I bought powdered water but didn't know what to add.
    I went to the store and bought a decaffeinated coffee table.

  • @jkatsieris1
    @jkatsieris1 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Saw this guy live in Australia over 20 years ago. Just amazing.

  • @rickmasseur2008
    @rickmasseur2008 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    "I had a dream... All the babies prevented by the pill came back... They were pissed." My favorite of Steven's jokes.

  • @jomarro9935
    @jomarro9935 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    “My dental hygienist is cute so I ate a package of Oreos in the waiting room”

  • @thomasmacdonald3719
    @thomasmacdonald3719 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    ' I went to a museum that had all the hands and feet from all the statues in the
    other museums' SW is one of the all time best.

  • @tylerjames329
    @tylerjames329 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    "my grandmother said, come over here. i said why? she said just come over here. so i went over. she said here's $5, don' t tell your mother i gave it to you. i said, it'll cost you more than that". he doesn't have to tell off color jokes to be funny.

    • @anwealde
      @anwealde 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      in some tellings he uses 'i said what do you mean? she said youre over there i want you to come over here' 😂

  • @emilflognoid1532
    @emilflognoid1532 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I use to do Steven Wright stand up as a kid too, I still do Steven Wright, but I use to, too.

    • @gsigs
      @gsigs ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It looks like only 7 people got this joke.

    • @namenaim1560
      @namenaim1560 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nine

    • @earthsucks9555
      @earthsucks9555 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hedberg ripoff

    • @cleverusername1894
      @cleverusername1894 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@earthsucks9555 Tribute, not ripoff.

  • @CruisinForABrewsin
    @CruisinForABrewsin ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Not that he needs to do it or needs to prove anything, but I really think the younger generations nowadays would really appreciate a new special from him. He is THE master of deadpan/non-sequitur jokes.

    • @timking-iy9jw
      @timking-iy9jw ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I soooo agree. With the intelligence of today's audience, & random, dark or dry humor bigger than ever. I think he would totally leave a young audience rolling. He's got the skill....& Is much smarter than hell ever show in public.

  • @Ready4Greatness
    @Ready4Greatness 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    OMG the battery joke. The brilliance of taking a fairly morbid, somber situation and finding humor in it. That's so amazing. Bravo. Steven Wright has to be at least in the top 10 of all time.

  • @alanbevington4875
    @alanbevington4875 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    To this day, whenever someone mentions a cul-de-sac, I always think (and sometimes ask aloud) "Is it a one-way road?" Rarely results in a laugh from them, it's just for me! Thank you Professor Wright!!!

  • @baeron84
    @baeron84 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    His scene in So I Married an Axe Murderer was one of my favorites. Brilliant!

  • @jeffwhitehead7990
    @jeffwhitehead7990 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    He matches his socks by thickness and He’s not afraid of heights, he’s afraid of widths.

  • @Parula06
    @Parula06 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "One morning I woke up and realized that during the night someone had snuck in and replaced everything in the room with an exact replica."

    • @pattystomper1
      @pattystomper1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I told my roommate, and he said, "Do I know you?"

  • @RobDucharme
    @RobDucharme ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Boston has pumped out a lot of the comedians I appreciate..
    "I was Caesarian-born. Of course, you can't really tell except that when I leave the house I go out through a window."

    • @Lynxdoc
      @Lynxdoc ปีที่แล้ว

      I've done that.

  • @wntfan656
    @wntfan656 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    One of my favorites: I have the world's largest seashell collection. I keep it scatter across beaches all over the world.

  • @EngineVSEngine
    @EngineVSEngine 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's not just his jokes, it's that voice to go with it that makes the jokes funny..

  • @trickstothetrades1801
    @trickstothetrades1801 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I also remember most of all your jokes and say them to this day. “Like having the largest sea shell collection, maybe you’ve seen them, i keep them on the beach’s around the world” or “you can’t have everything, where would you put it”. “They say practice makes perfect then they say nobody is perfect” or “naming your dog Stay, Come here stay. Genius

  • @joshualapointe4239
    @joshualapointe4239 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "There's a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

  • @James-ux5kv
    @James-ux5kv ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Good old Massachusetts boy seen him many times in Boston. Always a good time.

  • @tme3509
    @tme3509 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Everything is in walking distance, if you have the time. 😂😂 My favorite S.W. joke of all.

  • @johns7530
    @johns7530 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "I was at a restaurant and the menu said 'breakfast anytime'. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

  • @johnkruton9708
    @johnkruton9708 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I never heard that casket joke and I love it. I used to flip batteries around until I got a battery meter and understand polarity. 😂

  • @jasonroske2188
    @jasonroske2188 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Making a professional comedian really laugh is the best!

  • @superdave7241
    @superdave7241 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He's freaking hilarious!!! So many to choose from that it's impossible to have a favorite SW joke... One of my favorites is... I've been getting into astronomy lately so I installed a skylight.... The people that live above me are furious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍

  • @BoardgameLiker
    @BoardgameLiker ปีที่แล้ว +3

    “Why don’t your socks match?”
    “I don’t go by color. I go by thickness.”

  • @hornaceka
    @hornaceka ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Since his improv days in the 80s...always ❤ Steven!!!
    My friends and I back then would quote all his jokes and saying it in the same monotone way lol!!!
    "....hermits have no peer pressure... "