I hate this analogy because it implies both are equally difficult. It's way easier to purify dirty water than to get any water out of a desert. A girl might be frustrated about trying to find 1 nice guy out of 10, but the guy just has to settle with whatever girl he finds, or risk finding nothing at all.
@@danielpeirson3938no the analogy implies both are equally difficult. Imo a more apt analogy would be for men its like trying to find an oasis in a desert, but for women its choosing the best flavor of dasani, yea you might pick the lemon flavor and later realize you dont like the bitterness but the guy has nothing, hed drink chernobyl sludge if offered.
@@danielpeirson3938 I mean yeah I guess, but people never frame it that way, they use it to say "see? Both groups have it bad" while ignoring that it's significantly worse for one group
This is how I find out The Crimson Blur had a life glowup. Bro has a bigger house than me, fucks more than me, and has more free time than me. Maybe the secret to happiness this whole time was being the worst Marth player to ever touch a controller.
Girls writing height requirements on their profile is my biggest ick and im 6'4... Guys might like big boobs but Ive never heard of guys writing cup requirements on their dating profiles.
Yeah but if guys had 500 matches/day to sort through they would almost certainly start writing stuff like that. It’s not because they are morally superior it’s just an issue of opportunity.
Guys do that all the time. They want a particular type of woman, with a certain hair color, certain eye color, can't be one pound overweight, have to be of a certain race, must be an 8 or above, etc. Which..cool, I guess, but we shouldn't act like men don't have strict, sometimes insane requirements for the type of woman they want.
"I know we make fun of them all the time and women don't want them but I didn't know short men had strong feeling about this" was a wild train of thought
The way people choose to represent themselves on dating apps is almost always terrible and disingenuous, so it is very hard to figure out if you'll actually like someone based on their profile. I'm currently dating someone I really like after almost 3 years of unsuccessful slog, and we matched by miracle. She like one of my pictures and almost nothing else on my profile, and I liked one of her pictures and almost nothing else on her profile. I thought her opener was weird as hell, and she said she wasn't really into me at first, she just wanted to ask what my job was. The fact that we started talking in the first place is insanely lucky. Meanwhile all the people whose profiles have really excited me have ended up as boring, incompatible, or straight up insane. I think representation of yourself is a huge issue, people are bad at marketing themselves to the people they are actually compatible with.
Totally agree! And this doesn't even mention how many people (idk how many women do this but matching with men) don't even have a bio. Even if they are attractive it's an instant no. Don't understand their goal unless it's purely sexual. But as someone who is ideally looking for a casual fwb and not a relationship, I still want to like the personality of the person offering dick 😂
exactly. even if the intention is pure, people dont know what they appear like on the outside to others. AND people generally dont know what they (really) want in others. multiple multiple barriers. if everybody was a little more tolerant and we'd all be much happier
@@037_ Approaching in the wild, basically how men connected with women before the digital age. We see a lady we like without any sound plan, approach her and try to pique her interest with whatever comes to mind. To me it's an efficient method for me because women operate on feelings and what's happening within the moment so overthinking on what to say to a woman is actually a detriment to the approach. It's not 100% efficient (but then again what is?) but it's a lot more worthwhile and fulfilling than this dating app nonsense nowadays.
I just want to experience love. It's fucking bleak out there. In my several years on dating apps, I've gotten one date (who ghosted me immediately after). It just makes you feel undesirable. Getting my first relationship legit feels like the kind of impossible pipe dream homeownership or a successful presidential campaign are. The most I can be thankful for is having enough awareness to not become some red-pilled incel loser. Instead, I'm just depressed :D
As someone who has had no luck on dating apps, I've felt much better after deleting all the apps and focusing on friendships and hobbies. Dating is much easier when you can meet people through friends since there are fewer barriers. Not that I've had luck on that front yet lol, but I've been much happier regardless.
I'd rather meet one decent person irl (not even necessarily romantically), than spend a year going through the online dating experience. If you're hot and like having casual sex then go for it, but romance isn't worth actively pursuing imo. I just wanna have decent relationships with people I care about and online dating is pretty much the antithesis of that.
Approaching out on the field is the best because you are introducing yourself to a woman as yourself. No charades, no foolery, no pretending to be someone you're not, just you and your vibe and see where it goes from there.
To be honest, I feel like it's fine to have preferences when it comes to dating but saying that you would never date someone due to a physical attribute that they can't control is a bit toxic.
I agree the 6 foot argument is acceptable if the girl is 5'7 5'8 foot tall because they are tall but to not want to date someone because they bellow 6 foot and they like 5'2 is a lil dumb but tbh they can do what they want there's plenty of girls out there I would just tell people to meet girls in real life
@@LinesweeperPreferences are not the same as rules. Refusing to date someone because they don't meet a statistical requirement for you isn't a preference.
I think those Tinder stats are fucked up but also fucking funny. They have gameified dating and it's as if you have a K/D/A. If LoL KDA makes people mad imagine what dating KDA makes with people.
Totally agree that no one is entitled to sex. But our culture has to hold that in tension with the opposing belief that sex is core to one's identity. If you're not having sex, it's not just the fact that you're a loser and "have no rizz." It means you don't get to participate in sexual expression. I wonder if sex is so much easier to have in gay communities because there's a shared understanding that their sexuality is who they are, it's core to what makes them themselves. Engaging in sex is essential to validating one's identity as a member of that community. Straight people are still hearing that narrative that sex is core to identity, but for various reasons, sex is a lot harder to come by--particularly, as the data in the video shows, for men who aren't in the top tiers of attractive. When that kind of dude hears "You're not entitled to sex, quit whining" in a sense that's also communicating the message "You're not entitled to identity, you're less of a person and less a member of society." Disclaimer: I'm a married dude and haven't been on dating apps in like 3 years. Might be off but I'd be interested in hearing other thoughts.
Bro I ain’t even thinking about sex, my pipe dream is to kiss a girl once, because that’s what every movie growing up told me is what you get at rhe end of a successful character arc. Until then, it feels like I’m eternally in the intro scene, establishing more flaws I’ll have to somehow overcome in a later arc Again, I’m not entitled to have anyone care about me. But forget sexual identity, how am I supposed to feel like I have any societal identity when it feels impossible to get someone to even acknowledge me other than fellow depressed lonely men? And yeah, it is whining. I don’t blame women, cause what are they supposed to do about it? I just wish our culture hadn’t lead me to expect that I would find romantic companionship in any form, let alone sex
@@diegotejada55 Relatable. I didn't have my first kiss till my senior year in college. It was something I idolized big time. Even after I got it, I felt pretty empty inside. Not to offer unsolicited advice, just to share my own experience: I didn't feel loved (or even lovable) until I got plugged into a church community and grew my faith. That changed everything for me. Beat away the loneliness with some genuine friends and taught me to root my value in who God sees me as, not who the rest of the world so often ignores.
From my perspective as a trans woman from South Africa (Where the "Meta" isn't that bad yet tbh) the best way to get that form of identity is through a long term committed relationship. I've been on both sides of the dating experience. I was on the apps for a long time, but I was a non photogenic virgin and had really bad acne, it never went anywhere. I go to one party that I was reluctant to go to and I have a genuine human experience with a girl and we started dating. I just genuinely listened to her and didn't expect a relationship. We dated for 2 and a half years and went our separate ways on good terms when I decided to transition. Since then I've had many more sexual experiences, mostly threesomes with couples, but it was never fulfilling. I am now waiting for a long term situation before any sex. Also on hormones what I desire has now changed significantly, above all I want human connection and intelligence, most of my crushes have been on short overweight guys who are amazing support structures and genuinely intelligent.
12:36 PREACH. Recently I went on three dates with this girl back in Januray, and it was going fairly well as far as I could tell. Then after the first week of February I noticed her energy kinda fell off a lot. She wasn't texting first as much anymore and was being pretty vague when I'd ask about when we could hang out again. After another week or so I just decide to stop watering the plant and wait for her to hit me up again if she was still interested, and so far she hasn't. Idk if there was any long-term potential, but I don't think it's crazy to expect a simple "hey, I enjoyed our date(s) but I don't think I'm interested in pursuing this further."
The only time i was successful on tinder is from swiping yes on a girl i knew from high school (i was out of high school for like 6 years at that point) that in all honesty, i wasnt even that into her. I was just so desperate for human connection that even tho i didn't want to date her, i gave it a shot. There was no second date, and after that, i became hopeless and just gave up on the idea of ever being in a relationship with anyone. That was 2 years ago, and i haven't touched a dating app since. Im still lonely.
Damn from the way these types of comments usually turn out I was expecting a "and she's my wife now" but this is probably a more common experience. I really feel for you dude as one of those people who's never had a date off of one of those dreadful apps.
Men should start doing everything to create an attractive social media Prescence for themselves. I am 6'2 and listed I made 80k a year on dating apps, and got nowhere for 2 years until I created a TikTok and showed I can be hilarious... Met another woman who does TikTok close to me as well who finds me hilarious and now we have been dating 5 months. The woman I am dating probably would sitll be dating me even if I listed myself as 5'9. No way to know for sure, but I do believe that
My experience with height is, that i am a 5'11 dude, getting rejected by a 5'1 girl for not being 6'0 at minimum (I'm from the eu, so the heights may be wrong, but you get the point). It seems like there has been set a standard for what a tall guy is, which is seen as the minimum for attractive height instead of it being he has to be taller than me. Most guys i know doesn't really care about height, breast size and so on, but of course has preferences, while it seems like relatively many of my girl friends over the years has changed from it would be nice if he is a lot taller than me to it being a must. It seems like this change has developed with social media, as the change has correlated with the amount of videos saying "anything under 6 feet is a short guy and not good enough". I am not the most atractive guy, really bad at the "rizz" but don't feel insecure about my height (yet). I get people have personal preferences. I also get that the caveman brain of guys like smaller girls as it perceives them as easier to protect and in the need of protection. While the caveman woman brain likes taller dudes as it perceives them as better to protect them. What has started to annoy me personally about it is, that it feels like a hive mind social media preference instead of a personal one, and that social media is trying to force me to feel inadequate for not being above normal 6 feet tall. I don't condone getting mad, saying slurs and so on for people having a preference and we can all agree on that isn't okay to do. But as a pretty average height male often seeing or hearing i'm not tall enough on online dating and social media, i get why some has started to feel really bad about being turned down for their height. As a last note. I know most females don't care that much about a certain hight, and i don't want to sound to much like an incel thinking all woman are bad, don't deserve to have prefrences and so on. It's more a criteque of the few and how social media and online dating has turned prefenreces into musts
Now just imagine taking the 5'1 woman out, putting in serious effort, being thoughtful, engaging, investing time and money, thinking you're heading in the right direction and on the third date she tells you it isn't going to work out because you are only 5'11. In my case it was 4'11 and 5'9. Imagine that feeling. Imagine how long it takes for you to get over those trust issues of trying to invest in someone again. That's what its like out here now. The first message isn't even a "hey" its a fucking stat check on your height. Essentially a genetic handicap for most. The instant gratification people can receive with this window shopping mentality behind dating has royally fucked everything and even if you do find someone, they can wake up and find a replacement in seconds, with someone who can be hundreds of miles away. I gave up on the idea that me investing into someone was worth it real early in life, which was a sad realization but its the smart decision. If I were to tell you, you have a 44.6% chance to get hit by a car, would you still go outside? With divorce rates sky high the last thing I wanted to do was pour everything into someone I cared about just for them to have a higher than average chance at leaving me and taking things I worked hard to get. Just to get thrown back into this shit dating pool again. No thanks.
I would've laughed at that chick and told her "You wouldn't even know what to do with a 6'0 dude. Don't go chasing waterfalls little girl, stick to the rivers and lakes you're used to." just to playfully rile her up. No need to even get made or take the rejection personally. Some responses such as hers deserve to be made fun of.
@@kenonerboy A backwards society where incels are shamed while simps are praised, even though the reality is that they're both losers in the dating field with one demographic having pent up frustration with women while the other puts women on so high of a pedestal, it's too big for them to reach up to, leaving the object of their affection bored and uninterested.
4:05 this whole point, the difference is that, guys usually don't (shouldn't) point out that they usually like women with bigger boobs or ass and want to move on, but in this circumstance the woman is basically saying that same thing, just with height instead. and yea, height isnt necessarily overtly sexual like the other 2 things mentioned, but they're uncontrollable genetic traits. of course we all have genetic preferences but you don't have to say it out loud, you can just politely say you're not interested. tldr: women say it out loud, men usually don't (shouldn't), that's the difference. just say you're not interested instead of pointing out uncontrollable flaws
Flip it and you see how ridiculous it is. "Hey, just wondering what your cup size was? It's kind of hard to tell from your photos. C ? I have a preference for D cups and up. Sorry and good luck finding your soul mate!" "Why am I getting called rude names by all these women??"
I think the difference is that a guy can hide their height but women can't really hide their weight. I do agree though that the short dude hate is more culturally accepted in general, but I get asking the question on dating apps.
I think the reason a lot of short guys get mad at the whole “Women only want tall men” it’s because they have only seen and met the extreme kind. The people who would never compromise, the women that ridicule short men, the women that want a dude that’s extremely above their height, that kind. So they associate any girl with that preference into that extreme kind and lash out as a result. It really is a shame.
I think it's more that almost none will compromise because they can so easily get a tall guy, and it's just very or of your control. Atrioc's point is bad, there are very few men that only date women when they have large breasts.
@@GEM4sta I mean, there are lot of men who won't date a flat chested woman. The more clear cut example would be men being unwilling to date taller women. Maybe it's different in the west but in the east if you are tall, you aint getting any dates home girl
@@GEM4sta his point wasn’t that men only date women if they have big breasts, it’s just that similarly to height, a lot of people have that preference.
@@thecluckster3908 it's not weird to have preferences, it IS weird to say "how tall are you? I only date guys that are above 5'8"" just like it would be weird to say that for cup size or weight or whatever. Those judgements are internal, it's not at all weird to get backlash if you say them out loud lol
I have way too many experiences and friends who've had experiences where letting someone down results in people being really shitty in response. If they're not angry, they usually respond in desperation and both are really rough and draining to deal with. There's very few people that respond to "sorry, you're cool, but you're not what i'm looking for" well. First dates are something that's casual. If that's where things stop, that's just how it goes
5ft 7 short king and was a 10+ year veteren on apps before meeting my wife (we met on tinder). What i will say is of you can get out od your normal location and date elsewhere absolutely do it. I. South carolina, i was a 3 or a 4. In nyc or cali, i was a 6 or 7. In thailand i was an 11 and i had some rad dates in holland. New perspectives, different people and novel values and approaches to dating are amazing and are worth pursuing. Love my wife and its easier to appreciate what you have when you know whats out there. Also, thanks to all the ladies who talked with me, gave me lessons and all that jazz. Grateful for all of ya (even the ones who left a few scars) and hope they all find happiness
@wtfareperfectplaces I'm a liberal jew with a beard and tattoos. Nyc Asian girls like what I bring to the table. Southern chick's, not at all. I'm a meat eater but I might as well be impossible meat at a southern cook out when I'm down there. Feel me?
@blinkx1070 I'm not in demand down south dude. I'm like a regional cuisine. Chickens feet are prized in some communities and gross in others. Gotta go to your market. Literally marketing 101. Location, location location.
Trying to get a date out of a tinder girl is harder than medical school. You will have the most pleasant conversation ever, then you transition it into trying to meet up and they either accept your proposal (always ask with an already prepared date idea) and cancel last minute, or ghost you the second you ask. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong 😔
I finally quit the app because I had three conversations in a row where I thought I was vibing hard and we were planning something and they ghosted me with no explanation. Without any feedback, even if it’s rude or unfair, what the hell are people supposed to do other than give up
Yeah, guys are deeply insecure about their height, but it’s not really just a guy thing. There are plenty of women I know who are also insecure about having small boobs or being too thin. Your friend thinks it’s a problem that people get angry when she tells them about her height preference, but I’m pretty sure if I talked to a thin girl and told her I didn’t like her cuz she had no boobs, she would be mad and defensive too. Not to be harsh, but your friend isn’t entitled to a more mature response, and she should find more polite ways to reject people
also the fact that less that 4% of men are over 6'2 while about 90% of women are 5'8 or under and men don't actually have unrealistic chest size preferences
Insecure men are way more likely to be immature and not ready for relationships at all. I've learned that having as many preferences as possible actually makes the process of finding someone decent way smoother. At the end of the day, we want adults, and we're not supposed to be expected to nurse or walk on eggshells around anyone's insecurities.
@toxiheh876 ok having preferences is cool and all, but that’s not at all the issue being discussed here. The person being discussed here uses dating sites. If she had preferences, and some guy doesn’t meet her preferences, why is she even agreeing to go on a date with said person? The whole point of dating apps is that you can mention something like height on your profile so that you don’t end up roasting someone about it to their face. You can dress it up however you want, but it sounds like the woman atrioc is talking about decided to go on the date with a person she wasn’t attracted to just so she could roast him about his height to his face. There’s no world in which that isn’t a douchebag move
Also, I think you’re being kinda misandrist if you think insecure guys are the only problem. There are plenty of women in the world who you also have to walk in eggshells around, I was just making a point about how I think there’s a double standard in what men and women are allowed to say about each other’s uncontrollable physical traits
I don't like the "well, if you could do it, you'd do it too" defense. There is a looooot of wrong stuff people would do if they could do it with no consequence. The difference with the Katarina analogy is that A) it's a video game and not real life B) AFAIK lol allows mirror matches and C) even if they don't first pick is random. so it's not the same side betting the benefit every time
I'm 26 and literally never had a girlfriend. I'm popular, I have tones of friends, good job, a post grad degree... but because all dating is now done on apps (Which I hate) it's so damn hard to connect with anyone in a romantic way. Also, tall ladies are great.
This is a good video, honestly. It really helps show perspective and that most of the time you're not "doing something wrong", the dating culture just sucks sometime, so it's okay to just not worry about it and be patient for the right person to come along.
The only problem with "I don't date short people." is that it's seen as more acceptable than "I don't date black people.", even though it's literally the exact same thing with 1 word of difference. Can you change your height or your race? There's technically really abusive and borderline psychopathic fringe 'medical' operations and such you can do, but the answer is effectively no. It's obviously okay to have preferences for height, weight, race, gender+sex. (Combined because for the majority of the not-terminally online population, those words are interchangeable and they expect them to be the same in their prospective partners.)
Dating apps made me realise I don’t have many good photos of myself. You can be a good looking guy but if you don’t know how to take good photos you’ll be left behind which can really hurt your self-esteem
More reasons why most men are at disadvantage at dating apps. We don't wear make up, use filter, and take 100 selfie a day. I also like to be comfortable, I don't wear suits 24/7. I was taking a picture with a girl I was one time and she had to take the phone off my hand because it looks lame, but holy crap when she takes the picture it's already look way better lol.
Literally, all of my pictures are selfies because my friends don't take pictures of each other and then send them to each other, so if I need a picture of myself I have to do it myself.
I am willing to admit I have a lacking foundation when it comes to social skills, I didn't even try to date until I finished college, as such I don't fully know what is and is not acceptable behavior so while trying to figure it out naturally I look to others who are more 'normal'. Literally every interaction I had ended with me getting ghosted, so I actually thought that's what you were suppose to do, that people don't like, want, or respond well to specific messages about it not working or why or whatever. Until one person reached back out and explained that they felt hurt for getting ghosted I literally had no idea. I doubt my particular experience is too common, but who knows. Weird times man
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985 I feel that man, but the only way I know how to get better is to try l, fail, and learn. So I've done what book learning I can and now I'm trying to get more experiences while doing my best to limit any harm. If I'm just weird and awkward oh well as long as I'm not causing any real harm I think it's fine to keep trying. All we can do is our best and all that. I will say I've also considered trying therapy and talking with them about how weird I feel and how to address my lacking social skills but finances are limiting me there, which is why I'm trying to fix that situation first. Just makes me feel better to have a plan/goal to work towards even if it will take a while ya know? Get money Get healthy Get help Get Bitches /j XD
So for context I'm gay so I dont really have this problem. But before I graduated my male friends all were on tinder. And one of my friends is like a very conventionally attractive hockey dude, and he would get like 10-30 matches every single day, and hooked up a shit ton from Tinder. But every single other male friend i have that wasn't a complete frat guy, dude bro, would literally go months without a single match. Despite them still being very cute guys, they were studying engineering at a prestigious college, they were mostly all pretty wealthy, and had great hygiene, and surprisingly good social skills.
It's ALL about appearance. If you've got that, all the other shit just doesn't matter. Women just aren't attracted to the pure appearance of many men. However, in real life, women become interested in men they don't find particularly attractive ALL THE TIME. People need to get the hell off the apps if they're not good looking - they're just hurting themselves. Instead, socialize and meet people in person. Infinitely better odds IRL imo
I am 6'2, but I still got pretty much no real matches until I started doing TikTok and I put in my bio that I am passionate about being a big TikTok creator one day. I am now darting one of the women I et through the dating apps who thought my vides were hilarious. Men saying height and money is all that matters these days when it's not true. Women want to see the guy have an attractive personality, or they won't care unless he is very attractive.
The problem with his friend prefering men that are taller then her is that she feels the need to tell them that she wont talk to them because theyre short. If you dont want to talk to a woman because shes fat you dont have to talk to her but you dont tell her. "I can't talk to you because you're too fat" just block them like a normal person lol
For people who don’t know this information they end up with anxiety, depression and thinking they are the ugliest person on Earth. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has taken their lives because of these apps.
I met my wife in college, so only had a year or so on tinder when it first came out (we met irl in class tho). I have no advice for people out of college, but if you’re in college or younger, remember that finding a life partner is HUGELY important will save you infinite time in the future not having to deal with increasingly bad dating culture. It also seems that dating only gets worse the older you get. I would guess that dating apps aren’t that horrible when you’re in college, but in your 30s yeah it probably isn’t a lot of fun.
14.5% of men are 6' or over, 3.9 percent are 6’2 or taller, for comparison only about 1% of women are 6'. If your imaginary requirement removes 85.5% or more than 95% of the male population then I'm not sure what were even doing anymore. Also the data is very clear men don't mind smaller chests, infact men and women have almost identical chest size preferences. (since that's in the comments a lot) I have no dog in this race but all the false equivalencies and lack a of understanding how ridiculous this height preference thing has gotten is concerning to me.
Being aromantic and knowing I'll never have to deal with dating apps is so nice sometimes. But on the other hand, the part at 9:35 is really true, and knowing I'm most likely going to be exempt from both of the things that makes you feel part of society etc kinda sucks ngl. I guess I'll just have to go on my joker arc or something
@@sankeethganeswaran3024 Idk, you can't really prove a negative so it can be difficult to "know", you just kinda have to decide to associate yourself with it. But I can give you my story as an example. Warning, not well structured rambling incoming: I realized I didn't really have any interest of romantic relationships after dating someone. While I've always thought that being in a relationship would be nice I never really tried to get into one so it wasn't until I was 25 that I ended up in one. The person I was dating was someone I found attractive and enjoyed hanging out with, so it should have worked out great on paper. But I never felt like I really understood what being in a romantic relationship actually entailed so I just kinda went with the flow. After a couple of months I realized I felt stressed out and like I always had to force myself to be a good bf, so after thinking about it for a bit I decided that what I wanted wasn't a partner but just a close friend to casually hang out with every now and then. I broke up with her and even if it sometimes feels a bit lonely to know I'll probably be spending all my life without a close partner it's not something I've ever regretted. Also still great friends with my ex so that's nice as well. Don't see being aromantic as some strict set of standards to qualify for, but more like a way to loosely describe yourself. If you ever feel like you're not aromantic you can stop associating with it and that's that. It's also worth to mention that even as someone who considers themselves aromantic I still get crushes on others, relatively often even. It's just that they never last for long and are easy to ignore. So being aromantic doesn't mean you never feel anything related to romantic feelings, just that you don't have any interest on acting on them. Sorry for the unorganized answer, in bed and typing this on my phone so it's hard to format in a good way and a bother to rewrite parts. At the end of the day everyone's experiences are different, so just go with whatever feels right.
When i was on dating apps. As a guy, its 100% just a number game. Swipe right on everything till your out of swipes. Then when you get a match, check to see if you like the match. If you dont, unmatch/ghost. Its shitty, but its the fastest way to meeting people who find you attractive
ghosting is complicated (from my female pov at least). if you're breaking up with someone, they deserve the respect of you saying it to their face, plus you have a good idea of how they'll respond. If you've only been on one date, you don't even know that person well enough to be sure they won't become insanely aggressive or even violent. it's the easy way out sure, but its also the safe way out.
sooooo often i ahve just closed tinder/bumble then forgot that there was a person there for 4 days and now its like shit do i go back and apologize for ghosting or just move on to the next 4 message convo where all that is really said is "cool hair"
As a short guy, it's totally fine if girls don't like short guys. I like girls shorter than me too (even though it's harder). I think the big thing on the internet for a while was the double standard about media outlets bashing men for not liking "plus-sized' girls, but no one talking about how that's a much more changeable attribute than height. It makes sense to bash people who hold those two views concurrently and being hypocrites. However, it's really weird to bash people for their own preferences. Like I thought the whole point of the argument was people should be allowed to judge romantic partners however they want. (I 100% agree that the people blasting her are insecure)
Atrioc this is my perspective, it honestly feels like all too much work to support a failing system and I’m more hopeful that I can learn and adapt to live alone and be prepared to fulfill myself. Maybe it’s because I’m stubborn but I’m just tired of attempting to approach this as a rational male and swiftly realizing I’m set up to fail. Maybe things will change in the future but I’m no longer hopeful.
I sorta gave up on dating apps around covid starting and maybe others did as well; which could contribute to peoples opinions of them changing from 3-5 years ago.
I matched with maybe three girls in a two month span only went on a first date with one of them, and have been happily married to her for three years. I recognize, I am an incredibly fortunate statistical anomaly.
i dont think women complain about having too many choices lol. the complaint (atleast what is outlined in this video) is that since men have so much competition theyre more likely to do outlandish things (like be overtly sexual) in order to stand out, since they would get ignored otherwise. but you have the comfort in knowing there are lots of normal and respectful men out there and that you can eventually find someone good, which isn't the case for men, who have to settle for whoever they can find because options are so limited.
3:23 yes Grindr is extremely straight forward. You also won’t get ignored even when people are not interested. On Grindr people will just tell you they are not interested where as on a regular dating app they just block you and don’t say a word or just swipe left
You put it into words perfectly. So many guys will develop resentment towards women for being dry on dating apps or whatever acting like women are evil but they don’t realize that they’d probably do that same thing if the roles were reversed and they had such an abundance of options
Having a preference on physical attributes is fine, having a firm requirement is cringe. Also I feel like Tinder is pretty bad for men's mental health. I've never done well on dating apps but I always seem to get girls to ask me out or give out their number IRL. Kind of sucks for guys that are socially isolated. No way to get out there
I back before I met my Ex my go to strat was just swipe right on every account for like an hour whilst I watch TV or something then look at what matches I got. I will say surprisingly very few women will have anything in their bio at all or just "ask me" which I have to assume means u just want dudes to come at u sexually and thats not my vibe so those were auto skips. The few women who werent bots and had something in their bio I then tried to send a funny message to. Or atleast for awhile I did eventually I just sent the same message to all of them that was basically the same thing just a funny one liner I cant even remember now. Now being single I gotta say theres alot of things I enjoy and really what I want is someone I can do the deed with on a regular basis and from time to time cuddle and watch a show or something but ultimately I live alone and have no inherent responsibility or have to actively care for the well being of another person lmao. I dont know if I can give up sleeping across the bed sideways and being able to be selfish without guilt. If I do change my mind and get back into dating Ive got to find someone who doesnt go out bar hopping at fucking 3AM. I cannot deal with another Extrovert.
The apps would probably work better if they didn’t have the monetization that allows for unlimited swipes, that’s one of the better things about Hinge, you only get around 15 likes so you have to be more selective(although Hinge also has a premium mode that also had unlimited likes)
Difference between preference and requirement is very important. Men who like big tits exists. Also guys who like small ones. Guys taste has more variety. But for 99% of normal guys if the girl is a good girl. For girls it is tall tall tall , with a large majority of women who consider just being under average is a not negociable deal breaker. That's where the problem is.
Here's a short explanation about the height thing: it's frustrating because it's a huge double standard. If I was chatting with a girl I wouldn't say "btw I'm only attracted to girls with big boobs". She'd (rightfully) think I'm an asshole and block me. But when a girl does this to a man, they just expect him to be chill with it? I'm above average height, but I've had several short friends and I could see it hurt them whenever it's mentioned. Telling people that they're not good enough because of height, skin colour or breast size is just a sh*t move, don't do it if you care about them.
admittedly i have no experience with using dating apps, but i cannot fathom how they, in any form, could be even close to succesful for finding you a partner. like, does the fact that you're looking through profiles as a catalogue that you both know are filled with lies not set of enough alarm bells that a dating app just isnt a good way to find someone? i get that for a lot of people its become hard to meet people irl, and, well im not an outgoing person either. i dont think online relationships are bad or anything, im in one myself, but like, the way you get in one is the same as you'd get in one irl, by being in communities with people who have shared interests, getting close to some people, usually as friends first, and then falling in love and start dating. be it online or irl. ig an irl equivalant does exist with clubs but like atleast clubbing/partying is like an activity you can enjoy regardless
I just want to say, under the logic of "the meta has evolved for a logical reason", I don't think that "quickly getting to sexual comments" is a logical or reasonable response to "needing to stand out" but entirely a cultural one. If male dating culture has deemed sexual discourse to stand out more despite everyone doing it, then it's not standing out is it? The meta is defeating itself no matter how much easier it is to be crass than original. So it's not beating the problem it's supposed to solve, and therefore isn't reasonable but born of their own bias toward the response. It's just not a justifiable excuse in response to "men get sexual with me way too fast", it's just a lazy excuse.
As a woman I will not respond to someone that is sexual super fast. It got to the point where I stopped using dating apps because of it. I literally just want to have a normal convo. I will respond if someone gives me something to respond to but even then if I’m interested I respond to a hi. I dress alternative and have piercings and I use to have dyed hair so it was all the time. I remember when I stopped dying my hair it was less but still a lot. It’s just so fucking annoying. I started to resent men bc I literally was so objectified. Now that I haven’t been on them for like 5 months I no longer resent men. Like it got that bad, in person I’m not AS objectified but it made me paranoid for a while that’s only how men saw me.
3 day method: Rule #1 - get them off the app, get an actual number Rule #2 - wait 3 days Rule #3 - ask to get a bite to eat or coffee Rule #4 - wait 3 days to text them if they don't text you first. Repeat Rule #3 / #4 until dating officially
If you're suggesting wait 3 days to text after getting the number that's never worked for me. It's a fast way to lose girls who were actually interested. I'm flirting and teasing over text, but also ending every interaction and trying to setup the date the same week. Gotta keep them engaged. Back in the day you could take gaps of time but a hot girl will move on because they're getting overwhelmed with other dudes who are interacting with them.
Yeah, imagine being okay with traumatizing girls and ruining their idea of an entire sex just because you think that's your best chance to smash since you have 0 charisma. It's like those guys don't even actually like women or care about their feelings while blaming them for the male loneliness epidemic.
I can confirm the saying “let me eat that shitter like an apple fritter” gets more responses than a “hey” or just a normal pickup like. Its like all people respond to now is stupid memes
I’ve been on tinder and hinge for a couple of months now. I would say I’m in the top 10% of people who get matches on there. I genuinely try to have a conversation and get to know them a little before asking them on a date. I have had ZERO dates in the past 4 months. I am so confused.
The thing with the height preference on women, is that it's a very American phenomenon. In Europe that really doesn't tend to be a cultural thing, but in the US it's literally everywhere. And yeah, to me saying you only date men who are 6 foot is like a man saying they only date women with d cups. It shows a fundemental immaturity and focus on a persons physical characteristics over the more important thing, their character and how well you get on. Yeah attraction is obviously important but if you actually go out with the intent to meet and find people you genuinely click with, those preferences are going to start to feel shallow and less important. It's more like a preference for ice cream, you might LOVE chocolate, and you might HATE caramel, but if you get offered a ton of other flavours you're gonna still enjoy it because you like ice cream. Dating apps make everything about shallow, superficial things in an effort to try and filter out all the people we match with. They literally skew things to be extremely unhealthy and incentivise disrespectful and shallow behaviour, not to mention negatively impact peoples mental health. Like social media, when you get off these social tech apps and just interact or create your own spaces to find people to chill and hang with, you're much more likely to find good community and potential romance and you'll be happier for it.
I'm very successful on tinder and bumble and I don't hook up so I basically end up being a free dinner for a lot of women who are just messing around with no intent on actually sticking around. Pretty women don't go on dating apps unless they're having fun
Dating apps are weird, most men won't see success with them and most women will have significantly more matches but the thing is the ones they match with will expect them to put out and if your a taller women some dudes just hella insecure about that dating apps don't really work unless you meet specific criteria for straight dating. Grindr is 100% just trading pictures and seeing about meeting up, OkCupid I live in Canada I more consistently get matched with Americans which is annoying because it's not like I can just hop over to the states for a date and the Canadians I do match with are in cities hours away it's to a point I've just given up on using apps and trying to date because the people in my town typically already have a kid before 19 and I personally do not want to take care of a kid at 21 or be in a relationship with someone who does when i'm this young
Nah I understand the height thing. Women, imagine 50% of your interactions on Tinder started with "How much do you weigh?" That's what men on Tinder are going through. "But it's just my preference!" Sure, so is weight for men. Doesn't make you less of an asshole for asking about it.
the thing about weight is that its a lot more visible in a person's pictures so there would be no point in asking. I am fairly certain bigger women get less matches than other women on the platform.
@-Sai People are natrually self conscious about both. People will always avoid using pictures that are not the "standard socitial normative attractiveness" or what ever you want to call it. If you're balding you wear hats. If you're short you don't have pictures of you far away from the camera, if you have crooked teeth you wont smile wide, etc, etc. Unfortunately, everyone does it, it's a sad fact that both M/F are EXTREEMLY quick to judge because there's such a plethora of options, if you're even a LITTLE BIT off kilter then your odds drop hard and fast. And frankly the sad truth is that it's just way harder for guys to get matches and there's PLENTY of solid studies on that. Guys tend to be less picky and that's because there's way less risk to a man using a dating app than a girl. Hence women get far and away more matches regusrdless of where they would land on some social norms. What i mean to say is If you were to assume there's a hypothetical scale of some X factor that makes someone more likely to be picked. It would be like the top 25% of men get 75% of the matches and success rates, while the graph for the women would have more like the top 60% getting 75% match rate. Of course those numbers are absolutely not the real ones but it just helps to visualize in your head what I'm trying to say. A girl that is in the bottom 15% of weight will certainly recieve less matches, but they will get leagues more matches than a guy who's in the bottom 15% of height. So it's fair to say that the original comments metaphor is still pretty valid.
He's right about the grindr thing. I'm a bi guy who tried it and I deleted it same day. It's insane how straightforward guys are compared to women. I even had this one Trans person threaten me because I wasnt willing to meet up lmfao. So now I stick to women. I like that women atleast want to get to know you a bit on a human level before trying to sleep with you.
Ghosting might be more prominent because if you're still on the app, if you send a message before unmatching, they'll never see it. Some likely don't think about this and those realising just might not want to bother waiting for them to see it. Not sure how this can be solved easily. Could perhaps leave a message when unmatching (which won't disappear) but then people might use it to be mean..
you're the average Hight dude... idk if you're joking but this is also a huge problem dudes that are 5'6-5'9 being treated and acting like they are short when they are not and im seeing it more and more every few years.
I’d like to say at 4:50 about men getting offended at women saying they want tell men goes both ways 1000% I don’t find overweight women attractive. But asking for someone as skinny as me, or at least close to it, is deeply taboo. Women get just as offended at this, but IMO I think both asks are completely valid
I don't know if it is just me, and I doubt it because I am like 6'0 and decently fat and like average to below average looking face, but I have not had any problems on dating apps lol. Sure, I don't get flooded with matches. But each time I get back on the app, sure im not flooded with matches, but it'll consistently be like the first one or two girls that match with me that I'm interested with we'll hit it off and things go well. You just gotta be funny honestly, be charming. Because I am NOT confident and cool, but just be a genuine caring guy and it's pretty easy.
I think it also may depend on location. When I was 18ish, in 2016-17, I would swipe right on literally everyone, and after months of that, I'd only gotten 5 matches, and 2 were bots. 6'2" 185, totally average looking white guy tbh. But I live in Concord, NH, a city with less than 50k population.
It is just you. The data proves it. Men get about a 1% match rate, just like the chart showed and most of those matches never respond no matter how nice your first message is
Honestly, you sound like the type of guy I'd swipe right on. I am not sure why many men have an impression that most women want a shredded guy with abs, tbh that look doesn't interest me. But guys who are big-boned, chubby, or have a dad-bod and a nice personality are my krypotonite, especially if they have facial and body hair. I do hear (older) men say that women don't need to be as skinny as they think they do to be attractive, yet I still feel immense pressure to be thin. Even when I was at my thinnest and friends told me they didn't think I needed to lose weight, i was still convinced i needed to lose 20-30 pounds. So it's not like knowing there are varied sexual and romantic preferences alleviates the social pressure to be conventionally attractive. My mindset now is that if I enjoy my own company and am proud of my accomplishments and trajectory, then I will attract people who have the same goals/interests/ambitions as I do. It's just a numbers game to find those people.
I think the way the woman says she prefers guys taller than 6" 1' matters a lot. Putting "Anyone under 6 foot, swipe left" or making fun of every guy under 6 foot is just shitty behavior. Saying "I'm 5" 10' and would prefer a guy who is taller than me" is totally reasonable.
I don't think dating apps try to keep you single, but they are optemizing for user interaction which is probably working against people actually finding a partner. So in a way I think dating apps are worse for long term relationships than social first platforms.
Honestly, I didn’t give dating apps that much of a shot, but from everything I’ve heard they sound terrible. I think that meeting people in real life is way better, you actually see them and can know what they’re like, and it’s much easier to be interesting when it’s not all text and the cold impersonal apps.
4:00 One comment on this part, Having a height preference in a partner is absolutely fine, especially if someone is tall themselves and wants someone taller than them, I think a lot of the male anger about this comes from the fact that men are often shamed and told they are objectifying women when they try and have their own preferences for female partners.
I found the best way to deal with dating is to not ever touch a dating app Open marketplaces of flesh and a treadmill of unchecked desires Not the most appealing of things
ive matched with a few pretty attractive girls My problem is, i dont want to date a girl who; smokes, vapes, does drugs, get shit faced drunk a lot, has kids, is trans A LOT of chicks smoke weed, and i dont want date a girl who does that I apparently have high standards A girl recently matched with me asking me "Do you have any coke" i dont think she was talking about the pop tbh
This weird dating scene is a combination of worsening economic situations for most young people and like the chatter said, Tinder actively trying to exploit people on the app.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
In years of Atrioc telling me I’ll never afford a house, this is by far the most personally distressing Atrioc video I’ve seen
The average troc flock experience
1. You’ll never buy a house
2. It’s all going down
3. You’ll never date
4. Glizzy Glizzy Glizzy
At this point I may as well give up on life lol
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985 Just get a cat and drink a lot.
@@DevinEDB or just keep getting more and more cats
I heard an analogy that dating apps for men are like trying to find clean water in a desert, and for women like trying to find clean water in a swamp.
I hate this analogy because it implies both are equally difficult. It's way easier to purify dirty water than to get any water out of a desert. A girl might be frustrated about trying to find 1 nice guy out of 10, but the guy just has to settle with whatever girl he finds, or risk finding nothing at all.
@@proot. doesn't that mean the analogy fits perfectly because like you said it's easier to purify water than get water out of a desert
@@danielpeirson3938 maybe he hates how true it is?
@@danielpeirson3938no the analogy implies both are equally difficult. Imo a more apt analogy would be for men its like trying to find an oasis in a desert, but for women its choosing the best flavor of dasani, yea you might pick the lemon flavor and later realize you dont like the bitterness but the guy has nothing, hed drink chernobyl sludge if offered.
@@danielpeirson3938 I mean yeah I guess, but people never frame it that way, they use it to say "see? Both groups have it bad" while ignoring that it's significantly worse for one group
This is how I find out The Crimson Blur had a life glowup. Bro has a bigger house than me, fucks more than me, and has more free time than me. Maybe the secret to happiness this whole time was being the worst Marth player to ever touch a controller.
+2
LMFAOOO i actually had to look up his twitter after this, good shit to blur man, its like hugs and his teeth
Girls writing height requirements on their profile is my biggest ick and im 6'4... Guys might like big boobs but Ive never heard of guys writing cup requirements on their dating profiles.
Yeah but if guys had 500 matches/day to sort through they would almost certainly start writing stuff like that. It’s not because they are morally superior it’s just an issue of opportunity.
They have so many men to choose from why wouldnt they just filter them before even talking lol
@@goodelleric actually based take
thats.. not the point?
they treat it like moral superiority.
Guys do that all the time. They want a particular type of woman, with a certain hair color, certain eye color, can't be one pound overweight, have to be of a certain race, must be an 8 or above, etc. Which..cool, I guess, but we shouldn't act like men don't have strict, sometimes insane requirements for the type of woman they want.
"I know we make fun of them all the time and women don't want them but I didn't know short men had strong feeling about this" was a wild train of thought
The lack of self-awareness people have about this issue is very common, it won’t go away lol
You could say, it's easily overlooked
@@wp12mv that was kind of a low blow ngl
@@TheTrickyTwix I'm gonna have to cut you short on that one
The way people choose to represent themselves on dating apps is almost always terrible and disingenuous, so it is very hard to figure out if you'll actually like someone based on their profile. I'm currently dating someone I really like after almost 3 years of unsuccessful slog, and we matched by miracle. She like one of my pictures and almost nothing else on my profile, and I liked one of her pictures and almost nothing else on her profile. I thought her opener was weird as hell, and she said she wasn't really into me at first, she just wanted to ask what my job was. The fact that we started talking in the first place is insanely lucky.
Meanwhile all the people whose profiles have really excited me have ended up as boring, incompatible, or straight up insane. I think representation of yourself is a huge issue, people are bad at marketing themselves to the people they are actually compatible with.
Totally agree! And this doesn't even mention how many people (idk how many women do this but matching with men) don't even have a bio. Even if they are attractive it's an instant no. Don't understand their goal unless it's purely sexual. But as someone who is ideally looking for a casual fwb and not a relationship, I still want to like the personality of the person offering dick 😂
exactly. even if the intention is pure, people dont know what they appear like on the outside to others. AND people generally dont know what they (really) want in others. multiple multiple barriers. if everybody was a little more tolerant and we'd all be much happier
Online dating doesn't even provide you the right stuff to market yourself
Yeah , that’s really true. Not all of us are good at dating, because we don’t approach it as a job offer haah
I had more hits when cold calling than I ever have with dating apps.
@@037_ Approaching in the wild, basically how men connected with women before the digital age. We see a lady we like without any sound plan, approach her and try to pique her interest with whatever comes to mind. To me it's an efficient method for me because women operate on feelings and what's happening within the moment so overthinking on what to say to a woman is actually a detriment to the approach. It's not 100% efficient (but then again what is?) but it's a lot more worthwhile and fulfilling than this dating app nonsense nowadays.
@@037_ dialing a random number and just winging it
@@037_calling random people to try to sell something
@037_ going through the phonebook and asking
@@037_cold calling means calling out to a potential customer with the prospect of providing a product or service of some kind
I just want to experience love. It's fucking bleak out there. In my several years on dating apps, I've gotten one date (who ghosted me immediately after). It just makes you feel undesirable. Getting my first relationship legit feels like the kind of impossible pipe dream homeownership or a successful presidential campaign are. The most I can be thankful for is having enough awareness to not become some red-pilled incel loser. Instead, I'm just depressed :D
This is my exact situation
Big mood. I’ve just learned to enjoy life as best as I can single
I've personally accepted that I'll just never be with anyone and that it's not necessarily a bad thing
As someone who has had no luck on dating apps, I've felt much better after deleting all the apps and focusing on friendships and hobbies. Dating is much easier when you can meet people through friends since there are fewer barriers. Not that I've had luck on that front yet lol, but I've been much happier regardless.
Right there with ya bud.
Lots of casual players hate the tier 0 meta. Dating apps arent mutually exclusive from that😂
competitive catfishing lets goo
Whilst many people are just in it for casual sex, real sigma males are there for ranked competitive sex.
Atrioc is beginning to understand the dialectics of gender
I haven't used the apps in a while, but I found that they just weren't worth the trouble. It's so much easier to connect with somebody in person.
Yeah deadset, they're terrible for your mental health
Agree
I'd rather meet one decent person irl (not even necessarily romantically), than spend a year going through the online dating experience. If you're hot and like having casual sex then go for it, but romance isn't worth actively pursuing imo. I just wanna have decent relationships with people I care about and online dating is pretty much the antithesis of that.
Approaching out on the field is the best because you are introducing yourself to a woman as yourself. No charades, no foolery, no pretending to be someone you're not, just you and your vibe and see where it goes from there.
To be honest, I feel like it's fine to have preferences when it comes to dating but saying that you would never date someone due to a physical attribute that they can't control is a bit toxic.
I agree the 6 foot argument is acceptable if the girl is 5'7 5'8 foot tall because they are tall but to not want to date someone because they bellow 6 foot and they like 5'2 is a lil dumb but tbh they can do what they want there's plenty of girls out there I would just tell people to meet girls in real life
It's whatever tbh.
@@JesManVP less that 4% of men are over 6'2 while about 90% of women are 5'8 or under for reference.
@@kyetokace1199 "taller than me" and "shorter than me" is the same preference, if one is fine, so is the other.
@@LinesweeperPreferences are not the same as rules. Refusing to date someone because they don't meet a statistical requirement for you isn't a preference.
I think those Tinder stats are fucked up but also fucking funny. They have gameified dating and it's as if you have a K/D/A.
If LoL KDA makes people mad imagine what dating KDA makes with people.
The fact that there is literally an ELO system on a dating app is so incredibly dystopian to me 💀 you’re so right about the KD/A shit it
Totally agree that no one is entitled to sex. But our culture has to hold that in tension with the opposing belief that sex is core to one's identity. If you're not having sex, it's not just the fact that you're a loser and "have no rizz." It means you don't get to participate in sexual expression. I wonder if sex is so much easier to have in gay communities because there's a shared understanding that their sexuality is who they are, it's core to what makes them themselves. Engaging in sex is essential to validating one's identity as a member of that community. Straight people are still hearing that narrative that sex is core to identity, but for various reasons, sex is a lot harder to come by--particularly, as the data in the video shows, for men who aren't in the top tiers of attractive. When that kind of dude hears "You're not entitled to sex, quit whining" in a sense that's also communicating the message "You're not entitled to identity, you're less of a person and less a member of society."
Disclaimer: I'm a married dude and haven't been on dating apps in like 3 years. Might be off but I'd be interested in hearing other thoughts.
Bro I ain’t even thinking about sex, my pipe dream is to kiss a girl once, because that’s what every movie growing up told me is what you get at rhe end of a successful character arc. Until then, it feels like I’m eternally in the intro scene, establishing more flaws I’ll have to somehow overcome in a later arc
Again, I’m not entitled to have anyone care about me. But forget sexual identity, how am I supposed to feel like I have any societal identity when it feels impossible to get someone to even acknowledge me other than fellow depressed lonely men?
And yeah, it is whining. I don’t blame women, cause what are they supposed to do about it? I just wish our culture hadn’t lead me to expect that I would find romantic companionship in any form, let alone sex
@@diegotejada55 Relatable. I didn't have my first kiss till my senior year in college. It was something I idolized big time. Even after I got it, I felt pretty empty inside. Not to offer unsolicited advice, just to share my own experience: I didn't feel loved (or even lovable) until I got plugged into a church community and grew my faith. That changed everything for me. Beat away the loneliness with some genuine friends and taught me to root my value in who God sees me as, not who the rest of the world so often ignores.
You hit the nail on the head. NO ONE EVER BRINGS THIS UP because they just don’t wanna hear it
There’s a lot more attached to being gay then having sex lol
From my perspective as a trans woman from South Africa (Where the "Meta" isn't that bad yet tbh) the best way to get that form of identity is through a long term committed relationship. I've been on both sides of the dating experience. I was on the apps for a long time, but I was a non photogenic virgin and had really bad acne, it never went anywhere. I go to one party that I was reluctant to go to and I have a genuine human experience with a girl and we started dating. I just genuinely listened to her and didn't expect a relationship. We dated for 2 and a half years and went our separate ways on good terms when I decided to transition. Since then I've had many more sexual experiences, mostly threesomes with couples, but it was never fulfilling. I am now waiting for a long term situation before any sex.
Also on hormones what I desire has now changed significantly, above all I want human connection and intelligence, most of my crushes have been on short overweight guys who are amazing support structures and genuinely intelligent.
12:36 PREACH. Recently I went on three dates with this girl back in Januray, and it was going fairly well as far as I could tell. Then after the first week of February I noticed her energy kinda fell off a lot. She wasn't texting first as much anymore and was being pretty vague when I'd ask about when we could hang out again. After another week or so I just decide to stop watering the plant and wait for her to hit me up again if she was still interested, and so far she hasn't. Idk if there was any long-term potential, but I don't think it's crazy to expect a simple "hey, I enjoyed our date(s) but I don't think I'm interested in pursuing this further."
The only time i was successful on tinder is from swiping yes on a girl i knew from high school (i was out of high school for like 6 years at that point) that in all honesty, i wasnt even that into her. I was just so desperate for human connection that even tho i didn't want to date her, i gave it a shot. There was no second date, and after that, i became hopeless and just gave up on the idea of ever being in a relationship with anyone. That was 2 years ago, and i haven't touched a dating app since. Im still lonely.
I’m really sorry that was your experience. I hope you can find more companionships in the future, both friends and dates irl
I feel this, had a similar situation few years ago. Still no luck
Damn from the way these types of comments usually turn out I was expecting a "and she's my wife now" but this is probably a more common experience. I really feel for you dude as one of those people who's never had a date off of one of those dreadful apps.
Men should start doing everything to create an attractive social media Prescence for themselves. I am 6'2 and listed I made 80k a year on dating apps, and got nowhere for 2 years until I created a TikTok and showed I can be hilarious... Met another woman who does TikTok close to me as well who finds me hilarious and now we have been dating 5 months. The woman I am dating probably would sitll be dating me even if I listed myself as 5'9. No way to know for sure, but I do believe that
My experience with height is, that i am a 5'11 dude, getting rejected by a 5'1 girl for not being 6'0 at minimum (I'm from the eu, so the heights may be wrong, but you get the point). It seems like there has been set a standard for what a tall guy is, which is seen as the minimum for attractive height instead of it being he has to be taller than me. Most guys i know doesn't really care about height, breast size and so on, but of course has preferences, while it seems like relatively many of my girl friends over the years has changed from it would be nice if he is a lot taller than me to it being a must. It seems like this change has developed with social media, as the change has correlated with the amount of videos saying "anything under 6 feet is a short guy and not good enough".
I am not the most atractive guy, really bad at the "rizz" but don't feel insecure about my height (yet). I get people have personal preferences. I also get that the caveman brain of guys like smaller girls as it perceives them as easier to protect and in the need of protection. While the caveman woman brain likes taller dudes as it perceives them as better to protect them.
What has started to annoy me personally about it is, that it feels like a hive mind social media preference instead of a personal one, and that social media is trying to force me to feel inadequate for not being above normal 6 feet tall.
I don't condone getting mad, saying slurs and so on for people having a preference and we can all agree on that isn't okay to do. But as a pretty average height male often seeing or hearing i'm not tall enough on online dating and social media, i get why some has started to feel really bad about being turned down for their height.
As a last note. I know most females don't care that much about a certain hight, and i don't want to sound to much like an incel thinking all woman are bad, don't deserve to have prefrences and so on. It's more a criteque of the few and how social media and online dating has turned prefenreces into musts
Now just imagine taking the 5'1 woman out, putting in serious effort, being thoughtful, engaging, investing time and money, thinking you're heading in the right direction and on the third date she tells you it isn't going to work out because you are only 5'11. In my case it was 4'11 and 5'9. Imagine that feeling. Imagine how long it takes for you to get over those trust issues of trying to invest in someone again. That's what its like out here now. The first message isn't even a "hey" its a fucking stat check on your height. Essentially a genetic handicap for most.
The instant gratification people can receive with this window shopping mentality behind dating has royally fucked everything and even if you do find someone, they can wake up and find a replacement in seconds, with someone who can be hundreds of miles away.
I gave up on the idea that me investing into someone was worth it real early in life, which was a sad realization but its the smart decision. If I were to tell you, you have a 44.6% chance to get hit by a car, would you still go outside? With divorce rates sky high the last thing I wanted to do was pour everything into someone I cared about just for them to have a higher than average chance at leaving me and taking things I worked hard to get. Just to get thrown back into this shit dating pool again. No thanks.
I like how everyone demonizes incels but take 99% of their takeaways and discoveries but minus the personal accountability for women.
I would've laughed at that chick and told her "You wouldn't even know what to do with a 6'0 dude. Don't go chasing waterfalls little girl, stick to the rivers and lakes you're used to." just to playfully rile her up. No need to even get made or take the rejection personally. Some responses such as hers deserve to be made fun of.
@@kenonerboy A backwards society where incels are shamed while simps are praised, even though the reality is that they're both losers in the dating field with one demographic having pent up frustration with women while the other puts women on so high of a pedestal, it's too big for them to reach up to, leaving the object of their affection bored and uninterested.
@@kenonerboyspot on 😂
4:05 this whole point, the difference is that, guys usually don't (shouldn't) point out that they usually like women with bigger boobs or ass and want to move on, but in this circumstance the woman is basically saying that same thing, just with height instead. and yea, height isnt necessarily overtly sexual like the other 2 things mentioned, but they're uncontrollable genetic traits. of course we all have genetic preferences but you don't have to say it out loud, you can just politely say you're not interested.
tldr: women say it out loud, men usually don't (shouldn't), that's the difference. just say you're not interested instead of pointing out uncontrollable flaws
of course, if as a guy you then ask for a reason they're turning you down and they then say that they want someone taller, you can't be butthurt
@@actually-god0816 thats pretty fair, concur.
Flip it and you see how ridiculous it is.
"Hey, just wondering what your cup size was? It's kind of hard to tell from your photos. C ? I have a preference for D cups and up. Sorry and good luck finding your soul mate!"
"Why am I getting called rude names by all these women??"
I think the difference is that a guy can hide their height but women can't really hide their weight. I do agree though that the short dude hate is more culturally accepted in general, but I get asking the question on dating apps.
@@guitar2935 men cant hide their weight either tho.... soooooo its kinda a moot point.
I think the reason a lot of short guys get mad at the whole “Women only want tall men” it’s because they have only seen and met the extreme kind. The people who would never compromise, the women that ridicule short men, the women that want a dude that’s extremely above their height, that kind. So they associate any girl with that preference into that extreme kind and lash out as a result. It really is a shame.
I think it's more that almost none will compromise because they can so easily get a tall guy, and it's just very or of your control. Atrioc's point is bad, there are very few men that only date women when they have large breasts.
@@GEM4sta I mean, there are lot of men who won't date a flat chested woman. The more clear cut example would be men being unwilling to date taller women. Maybe it's different in the west but in the east if you are tall, you aint getting any dates home girl
@@GEM4sta his point wasn’t that men only date women if they have big breasts, it’s just that similarly to height, a lot of people have that preference.
@@testacals that’s the same in the west too sadly. honestly I don’t get it, tall women are pretty good looking.
@@thecluckster3908 it's not weird to have preferences, it IS weird to say "how tall are you? I only date guys that are above 5'8"" just like it would be weird to say that for cup size or weight or whatever. Those judgements are internal, it's not at all weird to get backlash if you say them out loud lol
I have way too many experiences and friends who've had experiences where letting someone down results in people being really shitty in response. If they're not angry, they usually respond in desperation and both are really rough and draining to deal with. There's very few people that respond to "sorry, you're cool, but you're not what i'm looking for" well. First dates are something that's casual. If that's where things stop, that's just how it goes
10:56 12,631 swipes and 50 bots? The bots didn't even want to swipe him.
Ooooof.
5ft 7 short king and was a 10+ year veteren on apps before meeting my wife (we met on tinder). What i will say is of you can get out od your normal location and date elsewhere absolutely do it. I. South carolina, i was a 3 or a 4. In nyc or cali, i was a 6 or 7. In thailand i was an 11 and i had some rad dates in holland. New perspectives, different people and novel values and approaches to dating are amazing and are worth pursuing. Love my wife and its easier to appreciate what you have when you know whats out there. Also, thanks to all the ladies who talked with me, gave me lessons and all that jazz. Grateful for all of ya (even the ones who left a few scars) and hope they all find happiness
SC 3 is a NYC 7?!??
@wtfareperfectplaces I'm a liberal jew with a beard and tattoos. Nyc Asian girls like what I bring to the table. Southern chick's, not at all. I'm a meat eater but I might as well be impossible meat at a southern cook out when I'm down there. Feel me?
"South carolina, i was a 3 or a 4. In nyc or cali, i was a 6 or 7"
Bro lives in backwards land
@@blinkx1070he explained it pretty well why
@blinkx1070 I'm not in demand down south dude. I'm like a regional cuisine. Chickens feet are prized in some communities and gross in others. Gotta go to your market. Literally marketing 101. Location, location location.
Trying to get a date out of a tinder girl is harder than medical school. You will have the most pleasant conversation ever, then you transition it into trying to meet up and they either accept your proposal (always ask with an already prepared date idea) and cancel last minute, or ghost you the second you ask. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong 😔
I finally quit the app because I had three conversations in a row where I thought I was vibing hard and we were planning something and they ghosted me with no explanation. Without any feedback, even if it’s rude or unfair, what the hell are people supposed to do other than give up
Yeah, guys are deeply insecure about their height, but it’s not really just a guy thing. There are plenty of women I know who are also insecure about having small boobs or being too thin. Your friend thinks it’s a problem that people get angry when she tells them about her height preference, but I’m pretty sure if I talked to a thin girl and told her I didn’t like her cuz she had no boobs, she would be mad and defensive too. Not to be harsh, but your friend isn’t entitled to a more mature response, and she should find more polite ways to reject people
also the fact that less that 4% of men are over 6'2 while about 90% of women are 5'8 or under and men don't actually have unrealistic chest size preferences
Insecure men are way more likely to be immature and not ready for relationships at all. I've learned that having as many preferences as possible actually makes the process of finding someone decent way smoother. At the end of the day, we want adults, and we're not supposed to be expected to nurse or walk on eggshells around anyone's insecurities.
@toxiheh876 ok having preferences is cool and all, but that’s not at all the issue being discussed here. The person being discussed here uses dating sites. If she had preferences, and some guy doesn’t meet her preferences, why is she even agreeing to go on a date with said person? The whole point of dating apps is that you can mention something like height on your profile so that you don’t end up roasting someone about it to their face. You can dress it up however you want, but it sounds like the woman atrioc is talking about decided to go on the date with a person she wasn’t attracted to just so she could roast him about his height to his face. There’s no world in which that isn’t a douchebag move
Also, I think you’re being kinda misandrist if you think insecure guys are the only problem. There are plenty of women in the world who you also have to walk in eggshells around, I was just making a point about how I think there’s a double standard in what men and women are allowed to say about each other’s uncontrollable physical traits
@@rohanshah7559 Nevermind, y'all are hopeless, fend for yourselves.
I don't like the "well, if you could do it, you'd do it too" defense. There is a looooot of wrong stuff people would do if they could do it with no consequence. The difference with the Katarina analogy is that A) it's a video game and not real life B) AFAIK lol allows mirror matches and C) even if they don't first pick is random. so it's not the same side betting the benefit every time
Nailed it! If I’m boring it’s like a 10% chance, if I say some wild shit it’s like 40%. Got to try
I'm 26 and literally never had a girlfriend. I'm popular, I have tones of friends, good job, a post grad degree... but because all dating is now done on apps (Which I hate) it's so damn hard to connect with anyone in a romantic way.
Also, tall ladies are great.
loving his interest in this topic, I learn to understand the other side more when he talks about it this way
This is a good video, honestly. It really helps show perspective and that most of the time you're not "doing something wrong", the dating culture just sucks sometime, so it's okay to just not worry about it and be patient for the right person to come along.
The only problem with "I don't date short people." is that it's seen as more acceptable than "I don't date black people.", even though it's literally the exact same thing with 1 word of difference. Can you change your height or your race? There's technically really abusive and borderline psychopathic fringe 'medical' operations and such you can do, but the answer is effectively no. It's obviously okay to have preferences for height, weight, race, gender+sex. (Combined because for the majority of the not-terminally online population, those words are interchangeable and they expect them to be the same in their prospective partners.)
Dating apps made me realise I don’t have many good photos of myself. You can be a good looking guy but if you don’t know how to take good photos you’ll be left behind which can really hurt your self-esteem
More reasons why most men are at disadvantage at dating apps. We don't wear make up, use filter, and take 100 selfie a day. I also like to be comfortable, I don't wear suits 24/7. I was taking a picture with a girl I was one time and she had to take the phone off my hand because it looks lame, but holy crap when she takes the picture it's already look way better lol.
Literally, all of my pictures are selfies because my friends don't take pictures of each other and then send them to each other, so if I need a picture of myself I have to do it myself.
wait till you learn about situationship culture
Or sprinkle sprinkle shit.
I am willing to admit I have a lacking foundation when it comes to social skills, I didn't even try to date until I finished college, as such I don't fully know what is and is not acceptable behavior so while trying to figure it out naturally I look to others who are more 'normal'. Literally every interaction I had ended with me getting ghosted, so I actually thought that's what you were suppose to do, that people don't like, want, or respond well to specific messages about it not working or why or whatever. Until one person reached back out and explained that they felt hurt for getting ghosted I literally had no idea.
I doubt my particular experience is too common, but who knows. Weird times man
My social skills are way too wack for me to ever get into a relationship lol, probably for the best I'll never get into that scene
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985 I feel that man, but the only way I know how to get better is to try l, fail, and learn. So I've done what book learning I can and now I'm trying to get more experiences while doing my best to limit any harm. If I'm just weird and awkward oh well as long as I'm not causing any real harm I think it's fine to keep trying. All we can do is our best and all that.
I will say I've also considered trying therapy and talking with them about how weird I feel and how to address my lacking social skills but finances are limiting me there, which is why I'm trying to fix that situation first. Just makes me feel better to have a plan/goal to work towards even if it will take a while ya know?
Get money
Get healthy
Get help
Get Bitches /j
XD
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985don’t give up, remember it only needs to work 1 time. You don’t need a repeatable process or to appeal to a ton of girls
@@clint3868If there are 2 words that describe me it's giving up lmao
So for context I'm gay so I dont really have this problem.
But before I graduated my male friends all were on tinder.
And one of my friends is like a very conventionally attractive hockey dude, and he would get like
10-30 matches every single day, and hooked up a shit ton from Tinder.
But every single other male friend i have that wasn't a complete frat guy, dude bro, would literally go months without a single match.
Despite them still being very cute guys, they were studying engineering at a prestigious college, they were mostly all pretty wealthy, and had great hygiene, and surprisingly good social skills.
It's ALL about appearance. If you've got that, all the other shit just doesn't matter. Women just aren't attracted to the pure appearance of many men. However, in real life, women become interested in men they don't find particularly attractive ALL THE TIME. People need to get the hell off the apps if they're not good looking - they're just hurting themselves. Instead, socialize and meet people in person. Infinitely better odds IRL imo
@@s210761 yea this about sums up exactly how i feel about tinder^ Thanks for sharing.
They’ll get more matches 10years from then since it will not only be about just looks for women in their late 20s and above
when is he uploading on the main bro
Probably the predictions vid no? Been like a week since I last heard him talk about it though but I don't watch regularly.
@yuhhuhuh Oh yeah I forgot about that, cool I guess?
@yuhhuhuh Yeah just saw that, what a coincidence
@actualboulder thanks
I am 6'2, but I still got pretty much no real matches until I started doing TikTok and I put in my bio that I am passionate about being a big TikTok creator one day. I am now darting one of the women I et through the dating apps who thought my vides were hilarious. Men saying height and money is all that matters these days when it's not true. Women want to see the guy have an attractive personality, or they won't care unless he is very attractive.
The problem with his friend prefering men that are taller then her is that she feels the need to tell them that she wont talk to them because theyre short. If you dont want to talk to a woman because shes fat you dont have to talk to her but you dont tell her. "I can't talk to you because you're too fat" just block them like a normal person lol
if you told someone you're 5'8" and they blocked you wldn't you feel sad? an explanation is definitely better
For people who don’t know this information they end up with anxiety, depression and thinking they are the ugliest person on Earth. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has taken their lives because of these apps.
I met my wife in college, so only had a year or so on tinder when it first came out (we met irl in class tho). I have no advice for people out of college, but if you’re in college or younger, remember that finding a life partner is HUGELY important will save you infinite time in the future not having to deal with increasingly bad dating culture. It also seems that dating only gets worse the older you get. I would guess that dating apps aren’t that horrible when you’re in college, but in your 30s yeah it probably isn’t a lot of fun.
14.5% of men are 6' or over, 3.9 percent are 6’2 or taller, for comparison only about 1% of women are 6'. If your imaginary requirement removes 85.5% or more than 95% of the male population then I'm not sure what were even doing anymore. Also the data is very clear men don't mind smaller chests, infact men and women have almost identical chest size preferences. (since that's in the comments a lot) I have no dog in this race but all the false equivalencies and lack a of understanding how ridiculous this height preference thing has gotten is concerning to me.
Not really just touch some grass bro.
@@WhenInDarknessSeekTheLightBeing informed doesn't mean you don't touch grass my guy.
If you get literally hundreds of matches I guess I can understand the need for an easy way to filter out 95% of those, even if it's superficial
Being aromantic and knowing I'll never have to deal with dating apps is so nice sometimes. But on the other hand, the part at 9:35 is really true, and knowing I'm most likely going to be exempt from both of the things that makes you feel part of society etc kinda sucks ngl. I guess I'll just have to go on my joker arc or something
how did u find out u were aromantic. im curious if i am too. what does it really mean to be one?
@@sankeethganeswaran3024 Idk, you can't really prove a negative so it can be difficult to "know", you just kinda have to decide to associate yourself with it. But I can give you my story as an example. Warning, not well structured rambling incoming:
I realized I didn't really have any interest of romantic relationships after dating someone. While I've always thought that being in a relationship would be nice I never really tried to get into one so it wasn't until I was 25 that I ended up in one. The person I was dating was someone I found attractive and enjoyed hanging out with, so it should have worked out great on paper. But I never felt like I really understood what being in a romantic relationship actually entailed so I just kinda went with the flow. After a couple of months I realized I felt stressed out and like I always had to force myself to be a good bf, so after thinking about it for a bit I decided that what I wanted wasn't a partner but just a close friend to casually hang out with every now and then. I broke up with her and even if it sometimes feels a bit lonely to know I'll probably be spending all my life without a close partner it's not something I've ever regretted. Also still great friends with my ex so that's nice as well.
Don't see being aromantic as some strict set of standards to qualify for, but more like a way to loosely describe yourself. If you ever feel like you're not aromantic you can stop associating with it and that's that.
It's also worth to mention that even as someone who considers themselves aromantic I still get crushes on others, relatively often even. It's just that they never last for long and are easy to ignore. So being aromantic doesn't mean you never feel anything related to romantic feelings, just that you don't have any interest on acting on them.
Sorry for the unorganized answer, in bed and typing this on my phone so it's hard to format in a good way and a bother to rewrite parts. At the end of the day everyone's experiences are different, so just go with whatever feels right.
Your chances are soooo much higher if you approach people in person
When i was on dating apps. As a guy, its 100% just a number game. Swipe right on everything till your out of swipes. Then when you get a match, check to see if you like the match. If you dont, unmatch/ghost.
Its shitty, but its the fastest way to meeting people who find you attractive
I used to actually look and read people's profiles until I realised I was wasting so much of my time every day on dating apps.
ghosting is complicated (from my female pov at least). if you're breaking up with someone, they deserve the respect of you saying it to their face, plus you have a good idea of how they'll respond. If you've only been on one date, you don't even know that person well enough to be sure they won't become insanely aggressive or even violent. it's the easy way out sure, but its also the safe way out.
sooooo often i ahve just closed tinder/bumble then forgot that there was a person there for 4 days and now its like shit do i go back and apologize for ghosting or just move on to the next 4 message convo where all that is really said is "cool hair"
Sometimes I’m hyper aware that the majority of Atrioc viewers, and twitch viewers in general, are male. This is one of those moments
As a short guy, it's totally fine if girls don't like short guys. I like girls shorter than me too (even though it's harder). I think the big thing on the internet for a while was the double standard about media outlets bashing men for not liking "plus-sized' girls, but no one talking about how that's a much more changeable attribute than height. It makes sense to bash people who hold those two views concurrently and being hypocrites. However, it's really weird to bash people for their own preferences. Like I thought the whole point of the argument was people should be allowed to judge romantic partners however they want. (I 100% agree that the people blasting her are insecure)
Atrioc this is my perspective, it honestly feels like all too much work to support a failing system and I’m more hopeful that I can learn and adapt to live alone and be prepared to fulfill myself. Maybe it’s because I’m stubborn but I’m just tired of attempting to approach this as a rational male and swiftly realizing I’m set up to fail. Maybe things will change in the future but I’m no longer hopeful.
I sorta gave up on dating apps around covid starting and maybe others did as well; which could contribute to peoples opinions of them changing from 3-5 years ago.
I forget where I heard this, but I remember the phrase “We are optimizing meaning out of our world to make time for things that rob us of our joy.”
I matched with maybe three girls in a two month span only went on a first date with one of them, and have been happily married to her for three years. I recognize, I am an incredibly fortunate statistical anomaly.
You only went on a first date with her and now you're married? Your comment doesn't make much sense
Braindead comment ngl.
I only went on a “first date” with one of them. The rest never got to the actual meeting stage. Context clues fr fr.
@@gregoryseraphin1426 Reread your own comment lol
@@johnw9038 I did. I MATCHED with 3 and only one made it to a first date.
Modern dating is like
Men complaining about a drought and women complaining about a flood. And both situations seeming like heaven to the other.
i dont think women complain about having too many choices lol. the complaint (atleast what is outlined in this video) is that since men have so much competition theyre more likely to do outlandish things (like be overtly sexual) in order to stand out, since they would get ignored otherwise. but you have the comfort in knowing there are lots of normal and respectful men out there and that you can eventually find someone good, which isn't the case for men, who have to settle for whoever they can find because options are so limited.
3:23 yes Grindr is extremely straight forward. You also won’t get ignored even when people are not interested. On Grindr people will just tell you they are not interested where as on a regular dating app they just block you and don’t say a word or just swipe left
You put it into words perfectly. So many guys will develop resentment towards women for being dry on dating apps or whatever acting like women are evil but they don’t realize that they’d probably do that same thing if the roles were reversed and they had such an abundance of options
5:55 There is nobody to balance this (quite literally) *"MATCHMAKING"* 😂
Having a preference on physical attributes is fine, having a firm requirement is cringe.
Also I feel like Tinder is pretty bad for men's mental health. I've never done well on dating apps but I always seem to get girls to ask me out or give out their number IRL. Kind of sucks for guys that are socially isolated. No way to get out there
3:40 that is absolutely tragic
What I’m hearing is talk to women IRL. I don’t care I got married at 22 and am very happy I don’t have to deal with this shit.
Lol havnt you seen any of the 1000's of videos of women saying "don't approach us"
@@sunkillsmoon most girls want to be approached
@@broidkanymore-zc4lt do you have any evidence to support that claim?
@@broidkanymore-zc4lt what does most mean to you? And do you have any evidence of that ?
I back before I met my Ex my go to strat was just swipe right on every account for like an hour whilst I watch TV or something then look at what matches I got.
I will say surprisingly very few women will have anything in their bio at all or just "ask me" which I have to assume means u just want dudes to come at u sexually and thats not my vibe so those were auto skips. The few women who werent bots and had something in their bio I then tried to send a funny message to. Or atleast for awhile I did eventually I just sent the same message to all of them that was basically the same thing just a funny one liner I cant even remember now.
Now being single I gotta say theres alot of things I enjoy and really what I want is someone I can do the deed with on a regular basis and from time to time cuddle and watch a show or something but ultimately I live alone and have no inherent responsibility or have to actively care for the well being of another person lmao. I dont know if I can give up sleeping across the bed sideways and being able to be selfish without guilt.
If I do change my mind and get back into dating Ive got to find someone who doesnt go out bar hopping at fucking 3AM. I cannot deal with another Extrovert.
The apps would probably work better if they didn’t have the monetization that allows for unlimited swipes, that’s one of the better things about Hinge, you only get around 15 likes so you have to be more selective(although Hinge also has a premium mode that also had unlimited likes)
Difference between preference and requirement is very important.
Men who like big tits exists. Also guys who like small ones. Guys taste has more variety. But for 99% of normal guys if the girl is a good girl.
For girls it is tall tall tall , with a large majority of women who consider just being under average is a not negociable deal breaker.
That's where the problem is.
With stats like that dating apps are just a bad way to get dates lol. Just hanging out in an elevator could get you more dates
Lol, imagine going up and down all day in some random elevator, asking people out. Creepy. xD
Dating is a waste of time.
From what perspective could this possibly be true for an adult💀
Do it the muslim way
@@ShrimpyWilliamslmao
Here's a short explanation about the height thing: it's frustrating because it's a huge double standard. If I was chatting with a girl I wouldn't say "btw I'm only attracted to girls with big boobs". She'd (rightfully) think I'm an asshole and block me. But when a girl does this to a man, they just expect him to be chill with it? I'm above average height, but I've had several short friends and I could see it hurt them whenever it's mentioned. Telling people that they're not good enough because of height, skin colour or breast size is just a sh*t move, don't do it if you care about them.
That’s rlly depressing jesus
Why
@@alexbeboolin7002 I feel like people desperation to find people to be depressing when so many gen z tend to put imo an insane value on ralationships
Relationships
admittedly i have no experience with using dating apps, but i cannot fathom how they, in any form, could be even close to succesful for finding you a partner. like, does the fact that you're looking through profiles as a catalogue that you both know are filled with lies not set of enough alarm bells that a dating app just isnt a good way to find someone? i get that for a lot of people its become hard to meet people irl, and, well im not an outgoing person either. i dont think online relationships are bad or anything, im in one myself, but like, the way you get in one is the same as you'd get in one irl, by being in communities with people who have shared interests, getting close to some people, usually as friends first, and then falling in love and start dating. be it online or irl.
ig an irl equivalant does exist with clubs but like atleast clubbing/partying is like an activity you can enjoy regardless
Don't hate the player, hate the game
I just want to say, under the logic of "the meta has evolved for a logical reason", I don't think that "quickly getting to sexual comments" is a logical or reasonable response to "needing to stand out" but entirely a cultural one. If male dating culture has deemed sexual discourse to stand out more despite everyone doing it, then it's not standing out is it? The meta is defeating itself no matter how much easier it is to be crass than original. So it's not beating the problem it's supposed to solve, and therefore isn't reasonable but born of their own bias toward the response.
It's just not a justifiable excuse in response to "men get sexual with me way too fast", it's just a lazy excuse.
I mean, even the fact men are expected to reply first is cultural.
As a woman I will not respond to someone that is sexual super fast. It got to the point where I stopped using dating apps because of it. I literally just want to have a normal convo. I will respond if someone gives me something to respond to but even then if I’m interested I respond to a hi.
I dress alternative and have piercings and I use to have dyed hair so it was all the time. I remember when I stopped dying my hair it was less but still a lot.
It’s just so fucking annoying. I started to resent men bc I literally was so objectified. Now that I haven’t been on them for like 5 months I no longer resent men. Like it got that bad, in person I’m not AS objectified but it made me paranoid for a while that’s only how men saw me.
3 day method:
Rule #1 - get them off the app, get an actual number
Rule #2 - wait 3 days
Rule #3 - ask to get a bite to eat or coffee
Rule #4 - wait 3 days to text them if they don't text you first.
Repeat Rule #3 / #4 until dating officially
If you're suggesting wait 3 days to text after getting the number that's never worked for me. It's a fast way to lose girls who were actually interested. I'm flirting and teasing over text, but also ending every interaction and trying to setup the date the same week. Gotta keep them engaged. Back in the day you could take gaps of time but a hot girl will move on because they're getting overwhelmed with other dudes who are interacting with them.
10:15 The boys who were rejected by the village will burn it down just to feel some warmth.
Damn this is why I had a decent success rate while being fat. I just said silly shit that wasn't sexual.
Literally best strategy is just have a personality lol
Yeah, imagine being okay with traumatizing girls and ruining their idea of an entire sex just because you think that's your best chance to smash since you have 0 charisma. It's like those guys don't even actually like women or care about their feelings while blaming them for the male loneliness epidemic.
Love the smash community
You bash the guy for no dates on 5 long conversations, but the womans graph had 450 long convos with 5 dates
wdym? he literally called her psychopathic.
I can confirm the saying “let me eat that shitter like an apple fritter” gets more responses than a “hey” or just a normal pickup like. Its like all people respond to now is stupid memes
I want the Enron hat so fuxking bad but it's out of stock perma
I’ve been on tinder and hinge for a couple of months now. I would say I’m in the top 10% of people who get matches on there. I genuinely try to have a conversation and get to know them a little before asking them on a date. I have had ZERO dates in the past 4 months. I am so confused.
its over
Met my girlfriend of almost six months on tinder, she is so amazing and I was so lucky to find her on such a shitty app
The thing with the height preference on women, is that it's a very American phenomenon. In Europe that really doesn't tend to be a cultural thing, but in the US it's literally everywhere. And yeah, to me saying you only date men who are 6 foot is like a man saying they only date women with d cups. It shows a fundemental immaturity and focus on a persons physical characteristics over the more important thing, their character and how well you get on.
Yeah attraction is obviously important but if you actually go out with the intent to meet and find people you genuinely click with, those preferences are going to start to feel shallow and less important. It's more like a preference for ice cream, you might LOVE chocolate, and you might HATE caramel, but if you get offered a ton of other flavours you're gonna still enjoy it because you like ice cream.
Dating apps make everything about shallow, superficial things in an effort to try and filter out all the people we match with. They literally skew things to be extremely unhealthy and incentivise disrespectful and shallow behaviour, not to mention negatively impact peoples mental health. Like social media, when you get off these social tech apps and just interact or create your own spaces to find people to chill and hang with, you're much more likely to find good community and potential romance and you'll be happier for it.
I'm very successful on tinder and bumble and I don't hook up so I basically end up being a free dinner for a lot of women who are just messing around with no intent on actually sticking around. Pretty women don't go on dating apps unless they're having fun
Dating apps are weird, most men won't see success with them and most women will have significantly more matches but the thing is the ones they match with will expect them to put out and if your a taller women some dudes just hella insecure about that dating apps don't really work unless you meet specific criteria for straight dating. Grindr is 100% just trading pictures and seeing about meeting up, OkCupid I live in Canada I more consistently get matched with Americans which is annoying because it's not like I can just hop over to the states for a date and the Canadians I do match with are in cities hours away it's to a point I've just given up on using apps and trying to date because the people in my town typically already have a kid before 19 and I personally do not want to take care of a kid at 21 or be in a relationship with someone who does when i'm this young
The exponential match rate is so true. The difference is nuts. For me it was a factor of 20x when I tried it compared to another location
Nah I understand the height thing. Women, imagine 50% of your interactions on Tinder started with "How much do you weigh?" That's what men on Tinder are going through.
"But it's just my preference!" Sure, so is weight for men. Doesn't make you less of an asshole for asking about it.
the thing about weight is that its a lot more visible in a person's pictures so there would be no point in asking. I am fairly certain bigger women get less matches than other women on the platform.
It's actually worse because you can change your weight. It's closer to asking about cup size, which would be insane.
@-Sai People are natrually self conscious about both. People will always avoid using pictures that are not the "standard socitial normative attractiveness" or what ever you want to call it. If you're balding you wear hats. If you're short you don't have pictures of you far away from the camera, if you have crooked teeth you wont smile wide, etc, etc. Unfortunately, everyone does it, it's a sad fact that both M/F are EXTREEMLY quick to judge because there's such a plethora of options, if you're even a LITTLE BIT off kilter then your odds drop hard and fast.
And frankly the sad truth is that it's just way harder for guys to get matches and there's PLENTY of solid studies on that. Guys tend to be less picky and that's because there's way less risk to a man using a dating app than a girl. Hence women get far and away more matches regusrdless of where they would land on some social norms.
What i mean to say is If you were to assume there's a hypothetical scale of some X factor that makes someone more likely to be picked. It would be like the top 25% of men get 75% of the matches and success rates, while the graph for the women would have more like the top 60% getting 75% match rate. Of course those numbers are absolutely not the real ones but it just helps to visualize in your head what I'm trying to say.
A girl that is in the bottom 15% of weight will certainly recieve less matches, but they will get leagues more matches than a guy who's in the bottom 15% of height.
So it's fair to say that the original comments metaphor is still pretty valid.
@@-Sai same with bigger men tho. so were back to men being treated unfairly.
@@GEM4sta men and women have the same cup size preference and this topic is grossly exaggerated.
He's right about the grindr thing. I'm a bi guy who tried it and I deleted it same day. It's insane how straightforward guys are compared to women. I even had this one Trans person threaten me because I wasnt willing to meet up lmfao. So now I stick to women. I like that women atleast want to get to know you a bit on a human level before trying to sleep with you.
Ghosting might be more prominent because if you're still on the app, if you send a message before unmatching, they'll never see it. Some likely don't think about this and those realising just might not want to bother waiting for them to see it. Not sure how this can be solved easily.
Could perhaps leave a message when unmatching (which won't disappear) but then people might use it to be mean..
As a short king (5'8") I always just have the mindset that they're missing out 😘
you're the average Hight dude... idk if you're joking but this is also a huge problem dudes that are 5'6-5'9 being treated and acting like they are short when they are not and im seeing it more and more every few years.
5'8 isn't that short don't know why people think it is when 5'3 is the true short, and I hate being this height so much I rather be your height.
I’d like to say at 4:50 about men getting offended at women saying they want tell men goes both ways 1000%
I don’t find overweight women attractive. But asking for someone as skinny as me, or at least close to it, is deeply taboo.
Women get just as offended at this, but IMO I think both asks are completely valid
asexual's stay winning
Surely we won’t get to experience this
I don't know if it is just me, and I doubt it because I am like 6'0 and decently fat and like average to below average looking face, but I have not had any problems on dating apps lol. Sure, I don't get flooded with matches. But each time I get back on the app, sure im not flooded with matches, but it'll consistently be like the first one or two girls that match with me that I'm interested with we'll hit it off and things go well. You just gotta be funny honestly, be charming. Because I am NOT confident and cool, but just be a genuine caring guy and it's pretty easy.
In fact I'm going on a date this Friday lol. I'm pretty sure they were the first person I matched with when I got back on the app.
I think it also may depend on location. When I was 18ish, in 2016-17, I would swipe right on literally everyone, and after months of that, I'd only gotten 5 matches, and 2 were bots. 6'2" 185, totally average looking white guy tbh. But I live in Concord, NH, a city with less than 50k population.
It is just you. The data proves it. Men get about a 1% match rate, just like the chart showed and most of those matches never respond no matter how nice your first message is
Honestly, you sound like the type of guy I'd swipe right on.
I am not sure why many men have an impression that most women want a shredded guy with abs, tbh that look doesn't interest me. But guys who are big-boned, chubby, or have a dad-bod and a nice personality are my krypotonite, especially if they have facial and body hair.
I do hear (older) men say that women don't need to be as skinny as they think they do to be attractive, yet I still feel immense pressure to be thin. Even when I was at my thinnest and friends told me they didn't think I needed to lose weight, i was still convinced i needed to lose 20-30 pounds. So it's not like knowing there are varied sexual and romantic preferences alleviates the social pressure to be conventionally attractive.
My mindset now is that if I enjoy my own company and am proud of my accomplishments and trajectory, then I will attract people who have the same goals/interests/ambitions as I do. It's just a numbers game to find those people.
@@Trizzer89 Dating apps have way less women than men. This makes sense.
Interesting topic, ans good to hear from both sides of the same coin
I think the way the woman says she prefers guys taller than 6" 1' matters a lot. Putting "Anyone under 6 foot, swipe left" or making fun of every guy under 6 foot is just shitty behavior. Saying "I'm 5" 10' and would prefer a guy who is taller than me" is totally reasonable.
I don't think dating apps try to keep you single, but they are optemizing for user interaction which is probably working against people actually finding a partner. So in a way I think dating apps are worse for long term relationships than social first platforms.
Well this was validating as a guy who has had no success and has wondered if I could manage to be gay and envied how easy they seem to have it.
Honestly, I didn’t give dating apps that much of a shot, but from everything I’ve heard they sound terrible. I think that meeting people in real life is way better, you actually see them and can know what they’re like, and it’s much easier to be interesting when it’s not all text and the cold impersonal apps.
4:00 One comment on this part, Having a height preference in a partner is absolutely fine, especially if someone is tall themselves and wants someone taller than them, I think a lot of the male anger about this comes from the fact that men are often shamed and told they are objectifying women when they try and have their own preferences for female partners.
I found the best way to deal with dating is to not ever touch a dating app
Open marketplaces of flesh and a treadmill of unchecked desires
Not the most appealing of things
ive matched with a few pretty attractive girls
My problem is, i dont want to date a girl who; smokes, vapes, does drugs, get shit faced drunk a lot, has kids, is trans
A LOT of chicks smoke weed, and i dont want date a girl who does that
I apparently have high standards
A girl recently matched with me asking me "Do you have any coke"
i dont think she was talking about the pop tbh
This weird dating scene is a combination of worsening economic situations for most young people and like the chatter said, Tinder actively trying to exploit people on the app.
Atrioc is the type of guy to do market research on the modern dating scene.