Why is Getting a Wife So Expensive For Chinese Men? - Intermediate Chinese - Chinese Conversation
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ต.ค. 2019
- Marriage is primarily about love and two soulmates deciding to share their lives together. Or is it?
In Chinese culture, money plays a significant role in many marriages. In this podcast, Eileen and Kirk examine this Chinese phenomenon and give their personal opinions on how this focus on money is affecting young people’s attitude towards love, marriage and life.
This is a great listening practice audio / video podcast for Chinese intermediates. Also, the large, clear pinyin and English subtitles will help elementary beginners and lower intermediates more easily understand the content.
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This is like listening to a real conversation and learning the language and culture all at the same time, brilliant format.
I am attending the wedding of a Chinese colleague this weekend (in Asia). My thinking about the wedding has certainly expanded because of this great video. The real value of Mandarin Corner goes beyond Chinese language itself. Like cultural artefacts, Mandarin Corner podcasts have value beyond just the words and sentences. There are so many interesting things to consider at multiple levels.
Completely love this type of video! Not just because of these splendid subtitles but because you can listen to the problems of Chinese from Chinese themselves, not from some people who travel or work in China, it's especially interesting.
Agreed.
This video was very informative. I am blessed to be in a great relationship with a girl from southern China. She grew up around the villager mentality and is very open minded when it comes to things. When we were together in the UK, she always went the extra mile for me and l deeply respect that. I am also a believer in marriage despite the negative stigma. As a Scottish male, l don't mind taking on more responsibility if that leads to marriage. It gives me joy that l have more purpose in my life to work towards and l hope to meet her family at some point. She inspires me to be a better man everyday.
That was a surprisingly frank and sophisticated talk, thanks to both of you it was excellent
I am a women and I will never understand women who simply want to marry for the money. Love is the only thing you can't buy and it is the greatest feeling in the world. Having a partner that supports you simply by being with you together in every situation in life and you are the same thing for him, what greater thing you can have in life?
Well, money apparently for them haha. I agree with you tho
Have you ever considered that you're financially independent and some of these women who marry for money aren't? Some are just straight up lazy and don't wanna do anything difficult so marry a rich guy and get the same result as working hard. Some might be from a poor background and didn't get much opportunities. Some might just be greedy or insecure so wants financially stability in a husband.
Women in general are much more vulnerable due to childbirth, even women with high degrees take a significant hit because of childbirth and kids. It actually makes sense to worry about safety.
The other thing I want to add, because girls are a "rare good" now, their families may be greedy and abuse this fact... Just my opinion.
"他家里还有一只狗啊 - he has a dog! "
that was hilarious... I share this guy's priorities lmao
I like the way the guest talks openly about his opinion. Really imformative and helpful. Ive learned a lot if vocab.
The threat to kill herself from the parent is always a classic one 😂 I think one way of breaking this custom is for the children to be brave and let they decide their own future. No parent will be able to disown their children! Thanks for the great podcast btw, keep it up more in the future!
Yes!
我是越南人
Your video not only helps me practicing mandarin, but also expanding my knowledge about chinese culture.
Thank you so much !
I am an American man with a chinese girlfriend. So I am learning all I can from you in both language and culture. I find many aspects you have discussed very interesting. In the USA there is no demand for a dowery or owning a car or house for marriage. Of course each family is different. I agree with you that if the traditions are making both men and women unhappy that a change should be made. It takes a whole society to create such changes. Don’t give up on love, this is my belief. Thank you for such a great lesson and your views expressed.
Please keep doing more videos like this! As a Chinese American, it’s so interesting being able to improve my Chinese while listening to discussion of the problems that my parents’ home country experiences
Excellent video as always, such a big variety of topics with great points made on all sides ! I wish 1% on TH-cam was this good, and this is "only" a language learning channel... Outstanding, thank you !
I think this is where I’ll stay to keep my Chinese alive. Left China a year ago and I feel like my Chinese is leaving me gradually
Your videos are always so interesting! Thank you for the care and thought that you put into them!
Great conversation! Deep exchange. Learned a lot new vocabularies. Thanks!
Thankful for your great approach to language with cultural aspects. It’s indeed an awesome content and obviously effective to a learner like me who usually got bored with old school techniques.
Thank you for this video it very helpful and I like this type of video have pin yin , Han zi and eng sub😁😁💯 percent like it.
Great deep convo thanks for sharing!
Thank you for posting these! I'm not currently trying to learn Chinese but I am trying to learn more about the people and cultures of a few different countries and China is one of them. I've found your channel very helpful.
Hi Eileen
Very interesting!! Thanks for all the efford you put in.
Hi, i've been watching your videos and it is really educative. You provide high quality conversations in mandarin about important topics really intrigued me. I'm really grateful to be able to watch your videos, i felt everyday my chinese is slowly improving 😊. Thank you for the amazing content.😆
Leaving one for the algorithm, hope you go big!
Wow, this video was full with surprises. I learn a lot, thank you!
This is an effective way of learning Mandarin. 谢谢
You're doing a very good work. Good content!
good work, thank Eileen
在我国家这样的问题也发生了。可能是东欧国家的传统对婚姻概念差不多的吧。但你们讨论的那些情况真让我思考而得到了很多文化知识。真是个好的频道。谢谢你们两位🙏👍
不是东欧是东亚吧
@@gorkemmmmmt 恩恩，写错了
When ever I listen to u, I remember my time in qingdao
What a well rounded view on such an emotionally loaded topic, 我觉得一边学中文一边听很有意思的观点很棒
Thank you for uploading videos always it's really have great impact.💯
Great video, great topic, fantastic as usual. I had a cultural shock when I first came across the reality of arranged marriages, blind dates, and the whole finding your significant other in the Middle Kingdom
谢谢，你不是老师你是老师的老师
Thank you mandarin corner very informative..
Excellent video! Thank you Eileen! Hanzi, pinyin subtitles, the topic is of universal concern with chinese facts, traditions and contradictions. It is a pitty it was not filmed though. Any reason? I understand those you listed but still many learners will enjoy the dialogue around a nice typical chinese setting in a park or bar...
Thanks so much for your work
I like this kind of videoes best and the topics they deal with. Please do more of them in the future 谢谢您
I LOVE this format, it’s so so useful and I hope you can do more :)
I have 2 suggestions, one is that you either release it as an actual podcast or make it easier to download the MP3 so I can listen to it without going to TH-cam.
The second is that as a subscriber I have access to the transcripts but I would much rather have all the text in Chinese together rather than each sentence separately with the pinyin and translations. Maybe you could consider putting that in the pdf also in future? I don’t like having the pinyin and translation too easy to refer to as it makes me lazy! 😅
Hi Miranda K,
1) you can go to our website and check out all our audio podcasts on this page: mandarincorner.org/audio-podcast/
2) if you become a supporter ($10 one-time donation) you can download all our videos" mp3 files
3) Again, if you become a supporter, you can listen to our videos' audio files with transcripts, including *JUST hanzi* transcripts. You can directly copy and past the transcripts. Our *Listen to Audio with Transcripts* are found here:mandarincorner.org/listen-to-audio-with-transcript/
@@MandarinCorner2 I still don't see where is just the Chinese text without anything else.
Great video, Eileen. Do you remember that cute song that came out several years ago in which Chinese women sang lines like, "Ni meiyou che, ni meiyou fang; bye syang ba mei nyu pao shang ch'uang." If you don't have a car, you don't have a house, don't expect to get a beautiful woman into your bed. It was done in a cute way, sung by many different girls.
I remember that song. That was shocking even for a Chinese to hear.
Hey Eileen good video. I really like the topics you cover. By the way the gentleman who is interacting with you.
I think he has got a great personality and I do like his views on life . You make a lovely bunch and it is very much appreciated to realise that you are also raising very important issues through these "educational" videos . Meaning of life, boredom, self centered and interested people and . So your videos are aimed at a very large audience. keep up the good work. You are welcome to france any time when you get a chance. Ian
this is the real a real kind of real conversation between chinese
Wow! There is so much pressure from parents on young Chinese!
老师谢谢。你的教是真厉害。
Thank you very much for such a deep discussion on the topic. I really like the video clips when you discuss with guests about different contemporary matters in China. I am from Vietnam. One of my relatives was kidnapped about nearly 25 years ago when she was young. She was forced to marry a guy from a rural area in Guangdong province. She was only released to visit home after nearly 20 years later after giving birth to 2 kids to that guy. She was not allowed to bring the kids along as the husband’s family feared that she would not return to China. When she returned, her father had passed away, she almost couldn’t speak Vietnamese fluently after such a long time. It was a pain to the family and forever my phobia. After her missing, I was very scared of going out alone when I was small. Currently, there are still similar cases announced on the TV and Internet though they are less compared to 20 yrs ago. I think the gender discrimination which is the consequence of Confucius teaching is one of the reason for human trafficking in this area.
I think the big problem with China is that older people don't have a retirement plan and hence are highly dependent on the support of their childs. Probably introducing some type of retirement plan will help to release the pressure on young mens and will eventually help to get ride of all these harmfull traditions.
Just the other day my girlfriend (chinese) was told by her 阿姨 that she should find another man who has a lot of money, and her mother also agreed. One man she recommended to my gf owned several houses and had a lot of money, but she refused to even meet with him 🥰🥰
I was disgusted by 阿姨‘s words and a bit insulted that her mother also agreed. I’m still disgusted with 阿姨, but now I think I know the reason.
My girlfriend said that while modern China has progressed significantly since its formation in 1949, the middle-aged and elderly people have yet to catch up with the modern world
Would be nice to see some statistics for the amount of dowry for different areas in China
You are all really reasonable! I hope you can make more videos with Kirk too
Great video!
这段视频留给我最深刻的印象。做的好！
谢谢我发现了您的视频。非常非常有用与实践性
很 有 意思! 谢谢， 老师!
Thank you so much!!
Exactly this video it’s very good it’s true.. I life in China 🇨🇳 and its like that
I'm a 32 y/o gay male from the US and lived in Shanghai for a year. I met a great guy who was originally from a village and he told me about all the struggles in this video but he also told me about how hard it was for gay people in China. He even showed me websites where gay people would have a fake marriage just to please their parents while living seperate lives with their partners. Some gay men even married straight women and paid them huge amounts of money a month to keep up appearances. But he told me about some stories where these women would threaten to tell the mans family he was gay if he didn't buy her this or that. I could see the panic in his eyes when he explained all this because I knew he was trying to figure out what to do with his life and keep up the tradition. We actually had strong feelings for each other but I think the pressure of society was too much for him - he came to me one day and said he got an offer to go to Korea for some schooling/job and he struggled with the decision but I think he wanted to be free from the pressure of his family to get married. By having to learn Korean, study, and then find work, he could tell them he was too busy to find a wife. He left a month later. I was always a littler bitter about the pressure on him because we both were a great match for each other and he was a great guy. I would do anything for him and could tell he'd do the same for me and I thought we might have a future but in a way I understood because in reality, this mindset was in America up until about the 1970s until everyone rebelled against it. Thanks for videos like this! Perfect level for me and I love these topic videos. So fascinating!
Thank you for sharing! 😊
really interesting material , godd for practise !!!
You guys are the best!
Waiting the next video. Tks
Thank you that was really interesting.
Thank you for the great video! Audio podcast series is my favorite
I have a small request, if it's possible to bring a person with beijing accent in future to talk with them (I really like that accent and can't find many materials for learning it)
Anyway continue with the great work !
Eileen , downloaded this and watched again and again to make Chinese vocabulary.
Thanks a lot for making this video.
Love from Lahore Pakistan
我很喜欢你的视频
真的很有意思👍爱情需要对方的感觉真爱付出一起共同的去创造未来的生活
I love it. I always watching there videos
Keep it up.Godbless
There's also the phenomenon of the kidnappings of little girls from big city to villages by villagers who have little boys. The goal is to bring her up and marry her to a boy from their village. They will marry their son to another kidnapped girl of another household in the same or a nearby village. It's scary stuff😢
I'M SO HAPPY
我爱上了这种视频拍的方法！不仅学习语言而中国的文化，还有呢这就是中国人的自然的交流，非常棒！
This is not just in China. This is in every country, and concerns everyone. It's only been 50 to 60 years that we've started talking about love in a marriage, the reason is because marriage was never about love, and the last 50-60 years have been about female (financial and sexual) liberation. Before that, people always married for financial convenience, it was always a contract, and never a question. A contract in which the woman gets resources (= money) and security in exchange for sexual access and paternity certainty (= knowing that a child is his father's and not some other man's). It was never a question : he gets bedroom fun, he marries for that, and she gets money, she marries for that. The only thing that has changed, nowadays is that now people like to bring in "love", as an excuse for breaking that contract, and love doesn't make marriages last ; however now breaking that contract has become easier and women are incenticized to end them, at least in the West.
That's what marriage always has been, that's still what it is despite what society wants everyone to believe. Divorces happen all the time nowadays because either one party doesn't hold up their end of that contract. I'll let everyone look up who initiates divorces more.
Very underrated video. I hope the Chinese government and Chinese society restores value in Chinese women.
幸好在中国生的是两个女儿！节目超级棒！我很喜欢！
谢谢老师
Hi Eileen. Thank you for making this great video. I have a question. How can i give you the brief that I donated to get premium benifits?
Hi! Thank you for considering to support us! You can send an email to joeshinieileen@gmail.com to contact us.
非常好
I’m Italian I had recently said goodbye to my Chinese boyfriend ( 56) This video help me very much to understand a lot of things about your culture and about this man ...
Anyway no regrets ...even if I really loved him
i AM iNDIAN AND RESIDE IN VIENNA. WHEN STUDIED AT VIENNA UNIVERSITY, DID EXTREMELY WELL AND SPECIALLY IN MATHEMATICS. IN MY CLASS I HAD ONE CHINESE GIRL WHO HAD PROBLEM IN GERMAN, I HELPED HER. SHE PROPOSED ME. I COULD NOT ACCEPT IT. REASON IS THEIR LOOKS IS NOT MY CHOICE. SHE GOT VERY DISAPPOINTED, BUT I HAD NO CHOICE.
He died?
@@mozart4128 Caps lock off
Over per te
I really like the guy you were talking to
The Chinese instruction is excellent. The content is depressing. I'm a university English teacher in China and my students are pretty obsessed with "love." Seems like in the real world that doesn't matter much here.
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Thank you so much
Hi Aileen thanks for this incredible useful content. One question, the word 因为 is pronounced yin1wei4 and yin1wei2 depending on the region? I hear you pronounce it with a second tone instead of a fourth. I was just curious. :)
The proper pronunciation should be yin1 wei4 / yin1 wei5. But some Chinese do say it incorrectly and people will still understand. In fact, there are many words that native Chinese will mispronounce. This is a completely different topic.
Good question and good answer, I'm looking forward to a video explaining this phenomenon ☺️
谢谢谢谢
"Basically, being able to eat is very important!"
Who knew???
hahaha, the best coment...
Did you ever read Jin Ping Mei ? When i listen to what you say, i feel like in those times where parents were selling their daughters as servants, concubines, prostitutes.... And regarding filial obedience what about Confucius and how his "philosophy" was so useful to the power, during past and present empires ?
I do respect different tradition culture of every countries
But for me as a Filipino-Chinese woman,for me if I’ll
Be ask about this topic
I can say that money or material things is not as well a requirement for me for a man any nationality especially if their culture or tradition have certain rules or requirements in order for them to get married or to find a partner to be
Cause I believe marriage is sacred and it’s composed of two individuals who have the same interests intentions and have both love each other genuinely honestly sincerely and unconditionally
Where money or material possessions is not the main requirements for their marriage
But TRUE LOVE will be the main reason of planning wanting and deciding to settle down and have a family 😊❤❤❤
Hi, small correction for you! At 39:55 Bu ke si yi--- translation should not be "amazing" but "unbelievable." You thought it was unbelievable or shocking. Amazing has a positive connotation and doesn't express surprise.
This videos are amazing to learn Chinese from the cultural perspective. But girls are important too, don’t be mistaken..
So as a Chinese myself, there are a lot of traditions in China that costs a lot. For example in some small towns/ villages there are traditions in which the family of the bride will ask for money to marry off their daughters since they are off to a new family. It could range anywhere from 10,000 rmb to 100,000. I personally know a family who planned to give 10,000 but the other side asked for 100,000. The other side couldn't afford it and the girl had to break up because she was forbidden from calling the boy. It's like selling a girl. There are also wedding costs but at the same time there are a lot of women (men as well) try to cheat and lie to the other side for financial gains. (scams) There there are University females who will date older rich men for money. LV bags, designer clothes etc...
Demand and supply i guess
In Nepal too ,it is getting expensive day by day, one million is normal and gold,party, clothes for every family person etc
你做很漂亮视频！谢谢！
I believe in love too 😘
It's amazing how the conflicts between the generations is similar around the world. Arab society is similar.
watching from Philippines 🇵🇭 😊 coz I want to learn Chinese 😅
This young man is 🔥🔥🔥🔥 it's sad when money rules everything. People will adapt or find alternatives 🤔💭
Just want to share a different perspective from Vietnam. These Vietnamese wives mentioned are more likely to be victims of human trafficking than go there volunteerily. I have read many articles about Vietnamese women who thought they were going to find a job in China but were sold to be a wife. Of course they and their family did not receive any of the money. Imagine being trapped so far from home and not knowing the language to ask for help. I believe it's much worse that "losing" a 100,000 yuan wife. That's why they ran away. I don't think any of the women actively participated in this and ran so they could sell themselves again.
真喜欢来这里
赞啊👍
The boy is Kantones ?
At 3:08, the sentence 他们才十几岁 is tranlated by "They were only about 17". Is it a very loose translation or is it actually a tricky case in this specific context ?
I think 他们才十几岁 should mean "They are only teenagers"...
Literally it means "any age between 11 and 19", so they can be 13 or 15 not necessarily about 17 I think.
Could it be that chinese people understand it like "late teenagers" instead of the literal sense and that it is the reason of this specific translation ?
Hi! 十几岁 can be between 11-19, but usually about 14-17 because if it's 18 or 19, it would be 快20岁(almost 20 years old). The reason we translated it as "about 17" was because we were talking about high school students and they were about 17. It's particular hard to give an accurate translation of 十几岁 because there isn't an equivalent in English.
这个的主题还挺有意思的，你们能不能跟这个主题一样多做吗？谢谢！
以后还会继续做播客的。
Then the money that is being use for dowry can be use to get the house and the car they want so much
Thank you. This was very interesting and made me sad for my chinese brothers and sisters. I do not know the answer. This is very difficult for both sides.