#1. You get hyper-focused on the feeling of things, like that one special spot on the couch. #2. Background noise isn't background to you. #3. You memorize weird, useless details because bottom-up processing is how you do it. #4. You have rules for things that no one else cares about. #5. You zone out in conversations..... And realize what happened weeks later. #6. You overthink random actions. #7. You struggle with time in very specific ways. #8. Food texture is a deal breaker. #9. The moods of others impact you a lot. #10. You over-explain or under-explain everything.
I'm impatient, so had to check the list first, and I was like, "I don't know about #1." Then I hit play and think about how I would react to someone sitting in my chair. Uh... yeah, I guess I'm 10 for 10.
Bottom-up processing really shows up for me when it comes to house-cleaning. It makes me nearly physically ill to even consider doing the floors or dusting all the surfaces when, LOOK, there's a spot of tomato sauce in that corner of the stove and I haven't separated the whites from the colors in the laundry yet and the papers on my workdesk are in a chaotic jumble and my hair feels grundgy (which means I need a shower, and HOW can I POSSIBLY even THINK of cleaning the house when I'm not fresh and clean myself!). "Overhaul-clearning" makes me nauseous-disoriented inside, but give me a pile of teacups you simply have NOT been able to get the tea stains out of, and I'm in heaven. I'll make each one shine like brand new. And... what, you cleaned the rest of the house while I made the teacups brand-new clean? Well... so it all worked out then, didn't it....
How in the world can someone take a shower without brushing teeth BEFORE THAT, and still claim to feel fresh and clean? Nope: brushing teeth after a shower is impossible. Can't be done. There's a right order to do things and a wrong one. Just like one right order for the ingredients on a sandwich and an infinitive number of wrong ones. Milk should not only be cold, but also in a porcelain cup. The same milk is disgusting if it happens to be in a glass. How can anyone not notice this kind of things?
I'm pretty sure I use every possible excuse not to shower. Then I shower and feel so much better. But different? So it's still disregulating and I hate it but also feel stupid because I know it feels better and I'm just "being stubborn." Yay.
Noticing details in movies has given me mad skills at knowing how it will play out, much to the frustration of my co-viewers: They unexpectedly gave a main character consistent dark circles under his eyes…he’s going to act out or die or both (it was both, at the end of the movie). They put the main character in wrong colors, we’re supposed to think she’s untrustworthy or unhinged. They didn’t edit out the mundane moment they’re bothering to show us: something significant is about to happen (genre and any change in the music will tell you what). If it’s a movie with any potential for violence, and they suddenly put a character in white, it’s going to have blood on it. I think noticing these choices is fascinating and fun; but it’s not to most others, apparently. 🤷♀️
I do the same thing! My ex used to say “Did you write this one too?!” He would be watching the movie/tv show, and I would be reading or going to and from kitchen, and I could still tell him what was going to happen😂
For me it's kinda the opposite. Or was, at least. I didn't really like movies at all until somewhere in my teens because I could never really grasp what the film was about. I only ever saw the current moment and couldn't get the "big picture". But I guess once you learn the patterns, you can predict this stuff.
I don't expect anyone to read all this, but just in case, here you are. I'm not officially diagnosed with autism but believe there is a great possibility of it. Many of my realizations came in adulthood after learning that many of my behaviors, thoughts, sensory experiences - are not usual for neurotypical people. I DO have a diagnosis of ADHD and a history of being fairly severely bullied throughout the entirety of my school experience. #1 - Sensory experiences - When I can feel my socks, everything else has to stop and I deal with sensory overload. I laugh about this now but as a child I recall fighting with my mother constantly about wearing certain clothing such as sweaters, tights, or socks and even struggling to sleep at night because my blankets were scratchy. To this day, if my feet are cold, I cannot sleep. #2 - Background noises - I do take medicine for ADHD [Vyvanse] and have only done so within the last 5 years as that is when I received the diagnosis. That said, there are plenty of times the medication will wear off or I simply forget to take it and noises absolutely drive me insane. Restaurants are an excellent example of this where I'm trying to talk with my partner but I am distracted by the conversation 20 feet away that the elderly couple is having about their granddaughter's blah blah blah and the waitress in the kitchen talking about her feet hurting and being tired and litereally EVERYONE'S silverware clinking on their plates as well as the air conditioner/heater blower and that one really loud light that's buzzing. I bought Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts to help deal with this and even though it doesn't prevent me from tuning into other conversations, they DO substantially diminish the overwhelm I experience because of the clinking silverware, dishroom sounds, and zappy lights - and even children crying [which I have empathy for and can still be overwhelmed by at the same time]. #3 - What your brain focuses on - I'm absolutely guilty of focusing on one single detail of something and letting it ruin an experience. Especially in movies and I noticed I did this about 10 years ago. So I made an agreement with myself that if I notice those details [like a cup or "omg THATS NOT REAL" that it was okay for me to let those things go because the movie is for my enjoyment and if my inner critic is judging the entire content on minor details, I'll lose a lot of enjoyment. So I give myself permission to let it go. I don't fully, but enough to get through the movie/experience with some enjoyment - most of the time. I mean, there ARE just glaring exceptions..... #4 - Your unique rules for life - Um. Yes, I choose a parking place far away from where others would want to park so that I can park in the same place every day and have had absolute meltdowns because someone parked in my spot and then I didn't know how to respond or where to park because I wasn't prepared to have to look for a spot and - yeah - I've missed work over this... Or... people cannot just show up at my door or call me [this may be more millenial than autistic, but eh worth mentioning] - if you do not text me before you come over, the surprise of your presence will throw me off kilter so much that I probably will not be good company. I simply do not switch plans easily. I HATE when others try to change my schedule. [my adhd also hates a schedule, so I'm constantly at odds with myself]. #6 - Overthinking - Just look at the wall of text here. Speaks for itself. And also, yes, I will think about things I said - or DID days, weeks, months, or YEARS later. Part of this could be a trauma response from being bullied/low self-esteem, but also I do engage in overthinking regularly trying to analyze whether or not I understood a conversation or - ugh - jokes/memes even. #7 - Time struggles - I have a weird thing where I experience both time-blindness and also can usually tell you exactly what time it is within about 3 minutes without looking at a clock. When I am in a mindful state, I have a pretty accurate internal clock. When I am engaged in a preferred activity or special interest, sometimes it's like I will think it's been 30 minutes when it's been more like 2 or 3 hours. This interferes greatly with bedtime-timeliness and sleep regulation for me. #8 - Eating habits - My partner is CONSTANTLY trying to get me to try new foods. My default response is "why would I want to do that when I know what I like?" Yesterday he was like - do you want to try a grilled cheese sandwich on pretzal roll and he laughed at the panic-stricken and confused look on my face as I tried to suss that out because I love pretzals and I love grilled cheese, but why would I want to put them together when I like their tastes separately? I told him I'd think about it. I probably won't. But I'll consider it... lol. But yeah. I have usually one thing that I eat at every restaurant and that is what I order... why mess with a good thing?! Plus ... certain textures... ugh... #9 - Catching vibes - Yep. ALLL of this. #10 - Explanation styles - Gestures broadly at the wall of text you're looking at. *shrug** Yep. I over explain. :D
You said you didn't expect anyone to read all this. A sentence like that is like an arrow straight into my RSD. It's like a black magic trick of reverse psychology. Of course I had to read it. Luckily, you're smart and entertaining, so I was able to enjoy what I had to do.
Ok overthinking is a term NT's use, cause I am thinking about stuff the right amount thank you very much. I might say more than you want to hear, but you have no idea the torrent I am holding back (barely!) and you just aren't thinking enough! 😂😂
Thank you for your videos!! My 9 year old twins are autistic. They also have ADHD and a lot of anxiety. Your videos really help me understand what they might be thinking and how they might be seeing their world. I feel like I can empathize with them more and be more patient with the struggles. I also think you and Debbie are very brave and kind to be so open about your lives. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing that and for being here! Your twins are lucky to have a parent working hard to understand them. That's amazing and the patience especially will go so far. With our backgrounds as longtime educators, we're also working on more projects and videos for parents and families later this year, so stay tuned! Appreciate all your nice words ❤️
I think I probably have all of these to an extent. But #9 really, really hit home. This is something I recognized years before I had a clue I'm autistic. People's mood just sticks to me, and unfortunately especially the negative feelings. And it is so hard to get rid of them. What I have been doing recently is that I kind of tell myself that this is not my own feeling, and I can even imagine shaking the feeling off, like leaving it physically behind me in a walking path or something like that. Doesn't work always, but it can usually provide some relief.
So glad to hear it’s helpful for you!! And it’s still always fun (and helpful for me too) to hear other people share similar experiences. Thanks for being part of our community! 😊
Oh my gosh-the DISHWASHER! I thought that was just me. I should have know better. Since I found your channel, I have recognized so many behaviours that I thought were just uniquely me, and yet here you are describing them. I am always realizing that so many of my quirks are not just specific to me, but rather are due to being neurodivergent. It makes me feels like less of a weirdo to know that I am not the only one doing these things. And yes, all 10 items from today's video apply to me in some way. Including rearranging the dishwasher when no one is looking.
How can it be that most women are not diagnosed while you sum up most of my secret life struggles? I was diagnosed autistic in my 37th. But before that I was just a shy girl feeling all the vibes and getting crushed by it daily. Blessed are you!
Yep. All 10! The one that hit home the most is hyper focusing on the cup in the movie. I constantly say out loud things like, "That would never happen!" "He'd never do that!" "Why doesn't he just zip up his coat!?" (when it's pouring or a blizzard outside and the character's complaining it's cold) or "That cup was in her other hand a second ago!" "No one holds a cigarette that way!" etc. It really takes the fun out of watching movies. I actually tell myself out loud "stop nit picking and just enjoy the movie". Sometimes I can. Most times I can't. Thanks again for another awesome video! 💖 I'm not officially diagnosed but I scored super high on all the tests on the embraceautism website. When I was in my 30s (now age 63) someone told me I should get a job as a continuity artist for the movies. Cuz I pick up the minutest details not only in props, costumes, settings and such but also in story logic continuity.
Interesting, cause I get very nit-picky about logic in videogames. For example, if a feature in a game doesn't logically make sense to the world, it really bugs me. A lot of people will say, "well what's the issue? It's a fun addition to the game, and games are about having fun, so how can you say it makes the game worse?" Yet, to me, I really crave a logically consistent world in a videogame, so videogame logic (which often requires a degree of suspension of disbelief) has often really bugged me, though I've learned to accept more and more of it over time. Basically, an objectively fun feature that harms the sense of consistency to a world is actually a negative to me, but I find it's not for the vast majority of people.
Yes Barbara! I literally JUST did the "Look at that distracting thing in the background!" to my family during a movie this weekend lol! I'm that person who watches TV shows and notices the camera guy left his Starbucks cup in the shot lol. But definitely ALL 10 of these for me, no question!
Most of those apply to me. One thing that is not on your list is dropping things... a lot. In my mind, I can take my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door, but at least half the time they end up on the floor/ground. Also, I am not allowed to drink out of glass, I have special metal glasses and mugs for me. For some reason, my hands seem to want to do other things and I end up dropping the beverage. Just an idea for an additional item to your list. Also, I hyper focus on problems for weeks at a time. Ok, maybe months at a time.
i need the toughest drop proof phone case there is, with reinforced sides, because i would go through about 15 phones a year if i didn't. thing just leaps out of my hands/pocket everywhere. if i've got a bunch of things in my hand and a phone, i'm gonna drop the phone.
All I know is, the more I watch your videos, the more I don't don't feel so alone, so different from the rest of the world. For that I offer my deepest gratitude.
Oh man, so THIS is me!!! 69 yrs old and only in the last few years have I realized this is my reality. Years ago I read a book, Shadow Syndromes, and he talked about autism. I immediately recognized my husband is like this. With the internet and youtube, I've come to see that our whole family has autism to some degree, some more than others. Thank you for telling what it's like, I feel so much better! And give me 10 out of 10 for the things in this video, I mean a BIG 10! I just talked to my husband about this and he got so excited talking about the way he connects to these 10 things...he's 72. Thank you again. Should I stop now? lol
1. I usually have 2-3 spots I'm comfortable in and choose one, depending on my mood. Also, as a person who had to move quite a lot in my life, I have noticed, that I need around a year to find and set up those comfy spots for myself in new places. Scent plays a big role too. 2. I have frequencies I can ignore and those I cannot, but when close to burnout, my sensitivity rises. 3. These details are not useless to ME! :D 4. I have a specific order I always get chores done. Somehow it keeps me from overthinking, which would only slow me down. 5. Guilty! My record - I got the meaning on a therapy session while recalling the talk 15 years after the incident. It was hard falling asleep that day... 6. I ALWAYS read over a mail several times, debating on how to phrase certain things. Something which should take me 5 minutes takes me half an hour or more! And still forget the attachment half the time... 7. Actually, I am a little too time sensitive... because of my dad who drilled me since young. He's probably autistic too. 8. Check! E.g. I used to resent most breakfasts in day care, because on a lot of days there was hot milk involved. Fortunately, I didn't have to drink any, but the smell alone makes me wanna puke to this day... My first memory is of the moment when I rejected milk for the first time because of the smell. Couldn't speak much more than 'No' at that time. Never touched it since. 9. Totally. But that applies to the mood of media as well. This is why I tend to avoid news, and choose films and books rather light in nature. 10. It's my business goal to work on overexplaining this year! Suggested by my coworkers XD Am I overexplaining/oversharing in this comment? ... I guess I have a long way to go...
Actually, I *avoid* the lines with cashiers. It's far too anxiety-inducing to try to get all the items out of my cart onto the conveyor belt, during which the cashier is ringing up my stuff at a zillion miles an hour, and I'm juggling to not only put my items on the belt but also to get my payment ready (and usually scan my Amazon Prime or loyalty card or whatever) while another employee is hastily grabbing my stuff to put into bags I don't need and don't want to pay for and I'm telling them, "Thanks, but I have my own bags -- I'll bag everything myself" ... because I also don't like how other people bag my stuff, and I'll be confused where everything is when I get home. I bag things in a specific way so refrigerated items are together, and frozen items are together, that kind of thing. Otherwise it's a mess when I get home and yet *more* anxiety because I'm having to take everything out so I can sort it and put it where it goes -- cabinet, fridge, freezer, etc. Oh, and while all this is going on there are people lining up behind me with their own groceries, etc., so now I'm in their way while I'm trying to juggle all this. It's an utter nightmare. I just need to go to the self-checkout so I can do things in my own time, and I'll know where everything is when I get home and putting things away isn't such a chaotic disaster zone.
Detergents can't go in the same bag with food. Dry food like beans or rice should be in the same package. Frozen things must be in the same bag to be kept cold by each other and same with the refridgerated ones. Tomatoes or peaches or grapes or strawberries (and the other fruit an vegetables that can be squished) can't go with potatoes or onions and must be put last in bag. Yogurt and eggs must go first in bag to secure their placement. And I put them on band with order so hopefully cashier doesn't mix them all.
Exactly! Don't put the cheese with coffee...and then I'm over there at the end rearranging the bags so I can put them in my cart again, and five people are in line staring at me and the cashier is waiting for me to scan my card, but the bags have to be fixed before we go to the car. It's exhausting, so I go to self check, where I bag it all myself.
@@alisseat.5576 And then the cashier messes up your order by just grabbing something 3 spots ahead because they feel like it. ARGHHHHH! At least here in Germany, you basically always bag your stuff yourself in the first place.
Hate shopping, no matter grocery or clothing.If i have to do it i prefere go early morning when shops are less busy and the shelves are well organized.I have also my own way to pack my stuff ,glad that in France, where i live, there is no service like this.
I am for real laughing out loud! Awesome video!! This is my daughter all the way! You guys are really gifted in the way you share information and present it!
Thanks so much!! We're realizing just how much practice we both got in sharing information in different ways from teaching for so many years. Glad you're finding this helpful!
Little details? Like, my copy of The Last Supper painting shows them drinking wine out of clear glass crystal glasses? Say what! I can't unsee that. They didn't have those back then! Outrageous!
😳 I've been flip flopping for years on whether or not it's worth seeking assistance or even a diagnosis for autism spectrum. This video may have sealed the deal for me. ❤️
My hearing is slowly fading and I have tinnitus, but noises can still drive me nuts, especially the voice of one particular colleague at work. I always feel so relieved when she decides to work from home. I think that means I score ten out of ten. I wish I had known more about autism before my diagnosis, at the age of 51. That would have saved me so much stress, anxiety, and energy over the years.
Ten out of ten ,i actually laughed out loud, i had this playing in the kitchen while i did the dishes, and pretty much the same time as you did the dishwasher sketch, my husband walked in the room, started picking dishes up and moving things around, as i hear myself say ,STOP,ive got a method and thats not it !!! As he puts the dish down and quickly exits the room lol .
@@intelligentgluteus-maximus4720 thank you. I definitely enjoy being a part of a large family now with understanding of the things I thought I was experiencing alone. So, although late in life, I love it to know now how I experienced my past and what is more, I (hope to) learn things (from Chris ans Debbie) / tricks to help me manage my remaining years.
One of the countless epiphanies just cascading endlessly since my autism discovery is that, as long as it's not harming me or anybody else, then even if somebody (whether a person around me or one of the 'ghosts" in my head, people in my past who've nagged at me) thinks it's silly, immature, pickayune, etc., I have EVERY RIGHT and COMPLETE FREEDOM to just FLY with my "rigid rules" and do things the way that keeps my "gut" in non-frantic eliquibrium-contentment, keeps that inner 'static demon' far, far away. Just go ahead and do it, life is too short to... not. You feel the 'static' starting when you need to bag and weigh five different kinds of vegetables at the supermarket (and, horrors, with people waiting behind you)? There's an employee there who can do it for you? Hallelujah. Give it to the person who gets paid to do it. Does it make you look feeble or incompetent, like you don't know how to work a scale or read a screen? WHO. CARES. (!!!) Just DO it. Whatever might or might not (and probably "not") be going on in other people's heads is a closed book to you. It really is. It's slightly delusional even to dwell on it. Even what you imagine is going on in their heads is still in YOUR head (surprise: you're NOT in their heads, so you can't really know), so just stop doing it to yourself. Take your freedoms, be kind to yourself, spare yourself every moment of "static" (diisregulation, anxiety, disorientation, panic) that you can. Life can only be better for it.
YES. Thank you for saying this. This has been a 5 year process for me to just start letting go of what I think everyone else's expectations are and just do it, if it's not harming anyone.
Chris, this video is a great example of why I love your work. - You do your groundwork. And you formulate the signs well, they are not some random things. - You don't claim it's all autistic people, even though all the ones you asked confirmed this. - You don't claim these are THE signs - though the list is pretty damn good thanks to tyour groundwork. - You give enough visual cues for us with auditory processing issues, and structure your videos nicely. Consistently! - You speak clearly and at a nice pace. And yes, me too. Not all of those as strongly, but all at least some of the time.
...... plus, he has a pleasant voice and I can hear no vocal clicks and/or mouth and tongue sounds when he speaks. This means I can't listen to people with (my-) nerves - grating voices. I quite often have to miss out on interesting topics because of that. To make matters worse people seem to be in the habit of adding a meaningless sound carpet. That's when I zone out if I haven't already. Am I autistic? I can relate to most of the 10. I most likely have CPTSD with similar symptoms though. But I'm 72 and no therapists as yet have been interested in tackling childhood SA by siblings. ( it's such a long time ago / you seem to have dealt with it very well / cui bono? said a young and aspiring psychologist / get over it!)
@medievalladybird394 The therapists you've seen don't sound very professional. But regarding possible autism, that's one thing where at some point the official diagnosis ceases to matter much. If you no longer need accommodations in school or at work, and you don't need assistance due to autism, then it's kind of... What practical meaning does it have anymore? You can search for things that help your life on your own even without it, and would need to do so even with the diagnosis.
@MiljaHahto ooh, don't tell a German professional they're not professional. And yes of course I know all that you said myself. I'm 72, not demented - yet 😂. It's just having a name for my own "weirdness" is helpful. Explaining it to others is probably as difficult as trying to explain my type 1 LADA diabetes. Most people aren't really interested. They just want to state the fact that I'm different or acting differently. " "Can't you just behave normal?" A friend said. Well if he tells me what's normal, I could try.
@@medievalladybird394 Regarding getting a name for it, autistic community sometimes talks about "self-diagnosed and peer-reviewed". Sounds like you'd get peer-reviewed very easily. Sure, in official circumstances it doesn't count, but in private life you don't need to say it's not official... Though, many people don't know what autism really is anyway, so speaking about practical challenges instead often works better anyway. And there are plenty of terms for those as well! Besides this channel, there are others that are helpful. Mom on the Spectrum has many videos about the terms (amount tips and hints and whatnot), and Orion Kelly has done some very descriptive ones, for example about auditory processing disorder which is common amount autistic people. .
I only have 8 of these. Not formally diagnosed with Autism, but it's hard for older adult females to get diagnosed. Also, though I've never been tested, after learning more about it, I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Both of my adult children were diagnosed with Autism, under 2 years old; but back in that time, girls were very rarely diagnosed with either. Especially if you could speak. I've worn my masks so long, I don't think I CAN unmask completely. Been working on it a bit though. One of my bosses came in my office yesterday & I was bouncing my leg pretty hard, as I had been out sick the day before, and was trying to play "catch up" all day. He said "You alright Val? Got a leg cramp you're working out or something?" I replied "No." So he asked "Why are you doing that then?" I laughed lightly and replied "I'm stimming." He asked what that meant. So I told him in a way I've practiced & studied most of my adult life "Just working out my energy. It helps me calm down. It's something most people who have ADD and/or Autism do to comfort ourselves." Then he asked me if I had a lot of extra energy and bounced off of the walls & got into a lot of trouble as a kid. He couldn't imagine me like that, as a kid. Then as he walked out he said "I need to learn more about the signs." I hope he will and share that information with my direct boss. She gets so annoyed when she catches me. And I don't know why. I do it silently or with very little noise, and it doesn't affect my work. It's second nature, & most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it until she says something. I wish I could find work where the bosses don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, but expect me to part the Red Sea miraculously to force companies to pay us. Assertiveness is NOT my gift. Anyway, thanks for making your videos. Gives me a chuckle & some help me to understand myself better
3:59 Oh my goodness. I’ve always been hyper sensitive to sound. Just sitting in my bedroom I can hear the beeping from the cross walk outside. Of course nobody believed me. Until one day I had enough of being told I was “too sensitive”, “being dramatic”, “seeking attention” etc. The second I heard it I ran outside, taking someone with me. Sure enough we saw someone just getting to the other side. Only then was I listened to or believed. I’d love to say that this was the end of the name calling but I was told, “It’s not bothering me, so it’s your problem, not mine!” Even when shown, it didn’t matter. 😞 (10/10)
@@mmegraham Thanks. I have a set of earplugs that I have found to be helpful but I’m always open to suggestions like yours. I’ll have to check them out.
Sounds!! I’m one of those people who occasionally hear “The Hum,” which is usually louder in the house than outside (i run all over inside and outside trying to figure out where it’s coming from). Nobody else here can hear it. I record it in my online calendar and try (with a sound generator) to identify the frequency. I hear it a few times a year, and it drives me crazy! I also have tinnitus, but that is a whole other thing-24/7 and a much higher frequency. I live in a totally non-industrial area Anybody else ever heard this? (Frequency is low, in the 70 Hz range)
Yes, is it real? Is it change in blood pressure? I search the house, I lean out the window. Is the government mining underneath my town? Drives me crazy and paranoid!
I recognised too many of these, especially the chair! The perception that we lack empathy is that we can shut down/disassociate when we are overwhelmed by emotion/empathy. I do this when someone dies or I blurt out something completely inappropriate.
At 55 I have long since recognized all of these and constructed mental workarounds so I can “function”. Now they rank as preferences (mostly) instead of requirements. Yay masking!!
OMG so many of these examples really resonated. None quite as much as, "specific order for bagging groceries". I also have specific utensils for eating different types of food. For example. But yes, I do all of these in some form.
Newly diagnosed late diagnosed. All 10 were so perfect. They made me laugh out loud. My service dog jumped into my recliner. I yelled ‘WTF?’ He realized what had happened and politely moved. Never took my chair or spot on the bed again. LOL - and I can’t watch when a person has a gun that shoots endless bullets. I count all the bullets from every gun. 🤦🏻 Keep up the good work. You have made my ‘reveal’ so much easier. Taking away personal doubt the way you do is huge! 🙏
OMGOODNESS….I almost always over explain everything!! I find I also over share. And the empathy is so overwhelming sometimes. Wow!! This video was fabulous!!
@spulwasser To prevent it from falling, my fingers are dumb. Plus! It warms my palm. Plus plus! It's nice to adjust my fingers around the circular shape of the mug, like, you know, putting the right distance beetween them. I also hold like this my universal pineapple shaped plastic glass
another amusing video 😊 yup. I cant believe I have all of these.. you saying that those who arent autistic, dont seem to do these things.. helps me A LOT. I carry a lot of imposter syndrome
Chris, I'm kind of cracking up laughing because your movie cup thing makes me feel so incredibly understood. Especially-retrieving a prop for demonstration purposes. There are others but I have learned to comment way less about one particular specific thing I hate and NEVER fail to notice-filmed scenes that get RUINED by characters who come in from the outside and never close the door behind them. I often can't relax the entire rest of the scene until it moves on to a different setting where I guess things appear to have worked out OK because nobody is talking about holy crap, what happened last night after they sat down for a meal with the front door wide open, which logically must mean that raccoons somehow didn't enter the home and spoon garbage into their mouths that night while they slept. I used to live with a partner and they would try to point out, well they or somebody else probably went right back and closed it and it just wasn't shown because it doesn't matter to the story. I also would try to do this for myself but it was kind of useless-WHO closed it is almost as troubling as it getting left open. A neighbor? Do the characters have a maid they don't talk about? Do they have problematic attitudes about service workers and that's why they never mentioned this maid? If a neighbor came and took care of it why didn't the neighbor say anything to them? Does this just... happen all the time? Actually these characters might need to see a doctor. Or... do you think their dog could be a retired service animal who knows how to close the door? I'm also very bothered thinking about their utility consumption. But also how weird must the relationship with that neighbor be? Other people are perplexingly unmotivated to pursue these questions and are just confused when the dramatic dinner scene ends and my takeaway was, maybe these characters should get solar panels, and a neurology consult. I'm having fun joking exaggeratedly about it but this is 100% real and the handful of people who are safe to see my real reaction are aware that if a character doesn't close a door in situations where a person should definitely close the door, I will probably miss the big picture point of the whole scene and will need to rewatch while cultivating an attitude of acceptance about the terrible door hygiene. I enjoy your channel immensely and value your openness and vulnerability (SSSHHHHYYYYYY) (I understand I probably transliterated that wrong and am taking liberties).
Good list! One of the things I struggle with in online communication is certain types of emoji just make me think the other person is complete mush in the head. It doesn't even take a wrongly placed comma or a common misspelling of a word, just that one emoji is enough for me to think of them as basically late stage dementia patients.
My sister is autistic and she been thinking for a long time that I have it to but I have never thought long about it because I always related autism with very specific structured things. I have watched this video and literally have them all. I can relate so much to all the things you said and my friends can acknowledge it. Thanks for the video and I will check through my therapist if I can do a test.
I have found that with time the bottom-up processing gets better and better. What I mean is that over many years and decades all those details eventually start to form into the bigger picture and parts of the world do start to make sense after all! It does get better!!!
Well done for doing this with such humour! Most Autism and ADHD videos I've seen are VERY serious - which is a shame. Neurodivergent people have a sense of humour and you have demonstrated that really well. Since my daughter and grandchildren have been diagnosed with a mix of these two I've been learning more about the various common traits. I already knew I had a mild version of autism but it seems there's some ADHD in me as well! As both seem to be mild, I'm not concerned and won't seek a diagnosis, especially as they are hard to come by in the UK. I've lived this long without a diagnosis so armed with the extra information that generous people such as yourself put on TH-cam I will be just fine.
These points resonate ridiculously hard with me! Maybe because they have been so, so, so impactful for my life, coupled with that they’re not described or mentioned often. Thanks, Chris!
9 out of 10. But most of those are very defining characteristics of my experience. Time blindness is my only exception here. I’m hyper aware of it. Probably as a coping mechanism, though. Awesome list, Chris.
Absolutely 100% check off all 10 of these, and the majority of these were labelled as my 'quirks' or personality traits before I or anyone else even had an inkling I was autistic (back in the day when we were all told it was *only boys* that could be autistic). #6 and #9 have been the causes of so much trauma in my life emotionally, I cannot explain the level of pain overthinking and literally having your whole entire mood flipped in 5s by someone else's feelings can bring. A lot of times as well, that mood flip can then cause the overthinking of things to start and before you know it you've snowballed and you're remembering every shitty experience of bullying you've ever had, you feel those feelings again as if you're back there, and then you end up berating yourself for being so pathetic and then you feel even more of a shitty human and you're convinced something is mortally wrong with you because everyone else seems to know how to *'Human'* and *'Be Normal'* and you don't. And #8 is something I have struggled with horrifically since I can remember and it lead to me finding a multitude of ways to disguise the textures of things because I didn't want to cause trouble and be a burden for my Mum after she'd spent ages cooking. But when I was older (in my teens) and I felt brave enough to mention it, my Mum took it the wrong way at first and thought I was berating her cooking (she's Asian too, so she took it *VERY* personally), and it caused some massive arguments and bad feelings. But after a while I got it through to her it's not her cooking, it's TEXTURES and that not even Gordon Ramsay cooking it would make me be able to eat it, she began to be better with it. Now if a texture bothers me, she just finds my reaction hilarious (scrunched up face and a lot of flapping apparently, lol). #3 was an interesting one for me, because I thought everyone worked with details, just that we autistic people worked... MORE with details, but to know that non-autistic people actually have a very different way of seeing things is an eye-opener. It also makes a lot of sense why *I* am always that annoying person in the room (this legit happened last night) going, "but the body was found face down and now it's face up and no one has moved it," and "he's only just been hit, so why is the blood on his face dry?" and no one else notices. I always just get told "you're not supposed to think of things like that," lol 😂 This is a great video, thank you so much!
❤❤ I'm juggling between whether I'm autistic or whether what I am is because of constant and intense verbal, emotional, and physical abuse by my mother from the day I saw the light of day.
I'm autistic and also been abused by my mother trough out my life. After talking to a psychologist, he said that it's not uncommon for autists to have an narcissist parent
It's worth remembering it can be both autism and CPTSD. In fact, it's fairly common for them to go together. I'm sorry you weren't treated with the love and respect you deserved. She should've treasured and protected you. Abuse is hard to heal from, but it can be done. If it's both, it's important to figure out which thing is which. I have both and for years was stuck because I didn't know about the autism part. I was trying to make it go away with trauma therapy, which obviously didn't work and made me feel awful about myself for "failing" at therapy. I couldn't figure out why none of the tools for helping flashbacks worked. It's because they were meltdowns. If you aren't already, I'd highly recommend just trying the strategies that tend to help autistic folks and see if they make a difference. You don't need a diagnosis to accommodate yourself! For me, issues that I'd never been able to figure out got so much easier once I started meeting my autistic needs and being compassionate with myself about them.
😂😂😂 YUP I do All of them! And here's something really funny for you. I didn't realize I was autistic until a few months ago, and I worked for decades as an RN in psychiatry😂😂😂 I can recognize all sorts of syndromes and other people, but never saw this in me until recently when I was looking at my ADD diagnosis LOL! This fits me like a glove 😊 thanks Chris!
Bottom up processing was really helpful in my career but I also developed how to see the overall problems in 3D and was able to process what was going on fast! (Neurodivergent people tended to treat it like my superpower and others thought I was cheating in some way). I grew up in a rather abusive household with 2 sisters both mentally and physically bullying me. I had to take my superpower and suss out the environment quickly and turn off background noise to center on people noise. But if the refrigerator is making weird noises I will investigate). It kept me safer. In therapy in my 30’s I learned to keep other’s “vibes” out. It was really cool when I learned that one (I’m kind of the master of it now). Therapy has helped me but when I was working I needed to work with my therapist on tone and words so I wouldn’t be assaulted at work. Non-divergent people hated how direct I was unless they were from NYC or NJ. At work I was told to be nicer and I had NO IDEA what that meant. My therapist didn’t either. Nor did any woman who worked as an engineer. So with my therapists help I started every sentence with I’m sorry, have you tested that? (I knew they hadn’t or they wouldn’t have suggested their “brilliant” idea). Then I’d say - well, let’s test that and I’d set up a testing area (I was NOT QA(quality assurance). Things I’ve done since I was a child people either find it enduring or that I’m mentally challenged…. I’m usually underestimated in all the facets of my life. I used to get down on myself but now my quirks make me laugh (and to be honest I’m now always examining them to see if they can be turned into a useful superpower!)
Oh yeah! ALL of them! Thank you again for sharing and explaining them. All my family are autistic, in varying flavours - we have hypo and hyper in several areas.
All of them apply, of course, but the four that 🤜🏼🥴: - Struggle with time - Bottom-up processing - Over-under explaining - Delayed processing I have stories upon relevant stories and their resultant coping skills, after more than 50 trips around the sun, but this is not my TH-cam channel. 😂
100 percent, esp noticing details, food textures, over explaining, and catching other people’s moods, but the delayed processing….I always wondered why as a child I was teased so much when i didn’t get a joke, or I suddenly got it way after it happened. Still so frustrating!
Yeah, I got to find the correct emoji. Then I worry in a text that their phone isn't compatible with mine and what will come up instead. My husband's phone is old and some emojis come up as questions marks for him. 😟
Thank you, I was looking for this one. With the vast majority of emojis, I have absolutely NO idea what emotion they are supposed to convey. I have like a half dozen I am comfortable using. Glad it‘s not just me xD
I'm both big and small today tomorrow, and years down the road all at same time. And get stopped. I get more thoughts, remember everything from the past
Could I ask a question? Does anyone else have a song playing in your head all the time, that you can just tune into when you feel like it that's always there? My daughter had this too. I would say to her what song have you got playing in your head right now, and then I tell her mine. Right now the one playing in my head is I think it's called 9 Miles High or something. I have no idea why these things do this but there you go. Anyone else? Or am I the only one?
Mine's The Sound of Silence, since it was in the video. A bit ironic since the internal jukebox starts running before I wake up til the moment I fall asleep. I've been thinking of it as an ADHD thing.
“They Say You’re Crazy” by Paula Kaplan is her story of writing for the DSV 4. She writes about how they decided on what traits denoted autism, as well as parts of her experience in being part of the group making decisions about how to identify and classify different mental patterns. So eye opening. Several years ago I saw a newspaper article stating that the DSM 5 was beginning to be written, and that contributors now had to sign a contract agreeing to not write about their experience writing for the DSM.
When I was starting to learn about ADHD, I listened to some webinars by ADHD experts talking about the DSM. The common refrain was that ADHD had been recognized as a condition for a couple hundred years, and that emotional dysregulation was always recognized as part of it - until ADD was added to DSM 2, and it was not included. Russell Barkley noted that the committee tried to add it back in DSM 5, but were “overruled by higher ups who didn’t want to do anything that would affect prevalence.” He described it as “almost an obsession.” I have no good words for people whose choices affect how vulnerable people will be viewed, and how they will view themselves, but then seek to protect their own image above all else.
I often don’t realise I’ve been insulted during a conversation until weeks to years later. And I suddenly feel really annoyed that I “didn’t get a chance” to respond. The same goes for when someone has obviously flirted with me.
"It's as if background noises feel like a personal attack"- Oh my god!!! YES, that's what I think, ALWAYS!!! Would've never thought about explaining it like that, but YES, exactly!! Thank you!
Brilliant. Amazing. The best. Thank you. I laughed - with recognition - all the way through this. My partner is going to love it, too. Especially the dishwasher bit.
You’re so funny. Love your videos. My spot, supersonic hearing, weird small details, oopsies on tv/movies, small rules about the dishwasher, (my husband is worse with silly rules), delayed processing, overthinking, time management (ready too early so I just do x quick- until I have to rush to my appointment, soggy food… Not sure about others moods but I do know I’m solar powered… and explaining with details Thanks again for being silly
Yes! Background noises do feel like a personal attack! I’m not crazy! It’s the AC and heating system and the fridge. I not only hear it but could feel the vibration in my body. 😬
bottom-up thinking is so true for me and building ttrpg characters. my husband is top-down and great at strategy, so now what we do is i pick all the things that catch my eye and he fine-tunes it into smth playable :)
I find that the big picture does interest me a lot. I'm interested in understanding how systems work. I def need to start this work bottom up, know all the details (even the insignificant ones even if it's just to file them under "insignificant"). Then I can enjoy my understanding of the whole of what I'm looking at/studying. This can vary a bit according to subject and it's not like I am totally incapable of learning about something if it's top down - I just get much more easily frustrated that way and feel like I never actually understand the whole of it until I know all the details.
My number is "when did you steal my brain." Seriously yall, this is the most relatable video I've ever seen on TH-cam. And I hate picking favorites of anything.
the ones i clicked most with like #10 made me realize that it's too hard for me to gauge how many of these r accurate to me bc your and my worldviews + lives are so different LOL the title being "you over-explain or under-explain everything" made me think of very specific examples in my life so when you gave your own examples that didn't focus on exactly the same part of "over-explaining" that i was thinking of, I realized that was probably happening with the other nine signs too
Great collection of observations! I notice that in reviewing IQ test results, many Autistics tend to have a lower processing speed score compared to the other scores that are averaged into their composite score (like working memory, spatial processing, etc.). Not all, but a majority, so #5 totally tracks with my clinical observations!
Oh my gosh, all of 'em! With the overexplaining flavor for #10. As usual, love your videos. They not only help me understand myself better, in an environment where it's impossible to get a formal diagnosis unless you're wealthy (thank you, U.S. healthcare). And they help me explain to my friends and family, what my experiences feel like. And this comment would be incomplete if I didn't mention the carrot. Love the carrot!
With the food texture thing: for me it’s the absolute stimmy delight of my favourite foods which HAVE to be just right, and when they are, I am just so sublimely happy… and having the right foods available during specific times: latte and Brie slices for breakfast…. The way the Brie rind snaps just slightly when you bite it…. Or pecans: nibbling them and noticing the texture with each nut…. Or the exact temperature of the latte: if it is not the right degree of ‘extra hot’ I cannot drink it! Being sickened by the emotions of other people: yes Waking up at night still processing something from the day Forgetting that I have delayed processing and feeling like an idiot in professional meetings, then having a perfect understanding of risks and benefits a week later…. Another awesome installment guys!! Thank you🏆
“The house runs in B flat” struck a chord (pun intended) because I also have perfect pitch and literally can usually tell the tone of anything I hear if it’s loud enough. Good to know it’s not just me.
coldness on my skin from metal, a breeze hitting the small of my back? NO THANKS. nearly all of these except when it comes to food textures. all food is fair game. eating is the best and finding new ways to eat things i already like is good fun! the "air-empathy" is my krptonite, i can tell immediately when something is off.... but coming to terms that isn't my duty to fix that is going to take more time
AMAZING! 😂 hilarious too, I saw myself in all of this topics, #1 to #10, and I was like 😅😂 Great video guys! It is really hard for us autistics to be aware of what is a neurodivergent behaviour or what is not, my therapist helps me a lot with that. Sometimes I really talk to myself to LET SOMETHING GO, when I am stuck into some blackhole of overthinking!
#1. You get hyper-focused on the feeling of things, like that one special spot on the couch.
#2. Background noise isn't background to you.
#3. You memorize weird, useless details because bottom-up processing is how you do it.
#4. You have rules for things that no one else cares about.
#5. You zone out in conversations..... And realize what happened weeks later.
#6. You overthink random actions.
#7. You struggle with time in very specific ways.
#8. Food texture is a deal breaker.
#9. The moods of others impact you a lot.
#10. You over-explain or under-explain everything.
Love your explanation of #3
I'm impatient, so had to check the list first, and I was like, "I don't know about #1." Then I hit play and think about how I would react to someone sitting in my chair. Uh... yeah, I guess I'm 10 for 10.
Bottom-up processing really shows up for me when it comes to house-cleaning. It makes me nearly physically ill to even consider doing the floors or dusting all the surfaces when, LOOK, there's a spot of tomato sauce in that corner of the stove and I haven't separated the whites from the colors in the laundry yet and the papers on my workdesk are in a chaotic jumble and my hair feels grundgy (which means I need a shower, and HOW can I POSSIBLY even THINK of cleaning the house when I'm not fresh and clean myself!). "Overhaul-clearning" makes me nauseous-disoriented inside, but give me a pile of teacups you simply have NOT been able to get the tea stains out of, and I'm in heaven. I'll make each one shine like brand new. And... what, you cleaned the rest of the house while I made the teacups brand-new clean? Well... so it all worked out then, didn't it....
Oh Ken, I completely know what you mean... 😅
How in the world can someone take a shower without brushing teeth BEFORE THAT, and still claim to feel fresh and clean? Nope: brushing teeth after a shower is impossible. Can't be done. There's a right order to do things and a wrong one. Just like one right order for the ingredients on a sandwich and an infinitive number of wrong ones. Milk should not only be cold, but also in a porcelain cup. The same milk is disgusting if it happens to be in a glass. How can anyone not notice this kind of things?
I have such a strong aversion to getting dirty, I wont clean if I just showered. I have to get all my dirtiness at once then shower.
I'm pretty sure I use every possible excuse not to shower. Then I shower and feel so much better. But different? So it's still disregulating and I hate it but also feel stupid because I know it feels better and I'm just "being stubborn." Yay.
@@paulveenvliet9130 oh yes to the milk needs to be in porcelain not glass. Just like tea needs to be in glass not porcelain.
10/10. I was feeling imposter syndrome for the last few days. I feel so much more validated so I’m feeling much better. Thank you!🙏
I have been diagnosed twice in my life. Once at 8 and again at 24 now 48 and still occasionaly suffer imposter syndome.
Noticing details in movies has given me mad skills at knowing how it will play out, much to the frustration of my co-viewers: They unexpectedly gave a main character consistent dark circles under his eyes…he’s going to act out or die or both (it was both, at the end of the movie). They put the main character in wrong colors, we’re supposed to think she’s untrustworthy or unhinged. They didn’t edit out the mundane moment they’re bothering to show us: something significant is about to happen (genre and any change in the music will tell you what). If it’s a movie with any potential for violence, and they suddenly put a character in white, it’s going to have blood on it. I think noticing these choices is fascinating and fun; but it’s not to most others, apparently. 🤷♀️
I do the same thing! My ex used to say “Did you write this one too?!” He would be watching the movie/tv show, and I would be reading or going to and from kitchen, and I could still tell him what was going to happen😂
For me it's kinda the opposite. Or was, at least. I didn't really like movies at all until somewhere in my teens because I could never really grasp what the film was about. I only ever saw the current moment and couldn't get the "big picture". But I guess once you learn the patterns, you can predict this stuff.
I accidentally spoil movies I've never seen in my entire life too 😄
You are aware of the artistic and directorial choices. Useful for a reviewer. It also makes you harder to manipulate.
This
I don't expect anyone to read all this, but just in case, here you are. I'm not officially diagnosed with autism but believe there is a great possibility of it. Many of my realizations came in adulthood after learning that many of my behaviors, thoughts, sensory experiences - are not usual for neurotypical people. I DO have a diagnosis of ADHD and a history of being fairly severely bullied throughout the entirety of my school experience.
#1 - Sensory experiences - When I can feel my socks, everything else has to stop and I deal with sensory overload. I laugh about this now but as a child I recall fighting with my mother constantly about wearing certain clothing such as sweaters, tights, or socks and even struggling to sleep at night because my blankets were scratchy. To this day, if my feet are cold, I cannot sleep.
#2 - Background noises - I do take medicine for ADHD [Vyvanse] and have only done so within the last 5 years as that is when I received the diagnosis. That said, there are plenty of times the medication will wear off or I simply forget to take it and noises absolutely drive me insane. Restaurants are an excellent example of this where I'm trying to talk with my partner but I am distracted by the conversation 20 feet away that the elderly couple is having about their granddaughter's blah blah blah and the waitress in the kitchen talking about her feet hurting and being tired and litereally EVERYONE'S silverware clinking on their plates as well as the air conditioner/heater blower and that one really loud light that's buzzing. I bought Flare Audio Calmer ear inserts to help deal with this and even though it doesn't prevent me from tuning into other conversations, they DO substantially diminish the overwhelm I experience because of the clinking silverware, dishroom sounds, and zappy lights - and even children crying [which I have empathy for and can still be overwhelmed by at the same time].
#3 - What your brain focuses on - I'm absolutely guilty of focusing on one single detail of something and letting it ruin an experience. Especially in movies and I noticed I did this about 10 years ago. So I made an agreement with myself that if I notice those details [like a cup or "omg THATS NOT REAL" that it was okay for me to let those things go because the movie is for my enjoyment and if my inner critic is judging the entire content on minor details, I'll lose a lot of enjoyment. So I give myself permission to let it go. I don't fully, but enough to get through the movie/experience with some enjoyment - most of the time. I mean, there ARE just glaring exceptions.....
#4 - Your unique rules for life - Um. Yes, I choose a parking place far away from where others would want to park so that I can park in the same place every day and have had absolute meltdowns because someone parked in my spot and then I didn't know how to respond or where to park because I wasn't prepared to have to look for a spot and - yeah - I've missed work over this... Or... people cannot just show up at my door or call me [this may be more millenial than autistic, but eh worth mentioning] - if you do not text me before you come over, the surprise of your presence will throw me off kilter so much that I probably will not be good company. I simply do not switch plans easily. I HATE when others try to change my schedule. [my adhd also hates a schedule, so I'm constantly at odds with myself].
#6 - Overthinking - Just look at the wall of text here. Speaks for itself. And also, yes, I will think about things I said - or DID days, weeks, months, or YEARS later. Part of this could be a trauma response from being bullied/low self-esteem, but also I do engage in overthinking regularly trying to analyze whether or not I understood a conversation or - ugh - jokes/memes even.
#7 - Time struggles - I have a weird thing where I experience both time-blindness and also can usually tell you exactly what time it is within about 3 minutes without looking at a clock. When I am in a mindful state, I have a pretty accurate internal clock. When I am engaged in a preferred activity or special interest, sometimes it's like I will think it's been 30 minutes when it's been more like 2 or 3 hours. This interferes greatly with bedtime-timeliness and sleep regulation for me.
#8 - Eating habits - My partner is CONSTANTLY trying to get me to try new foods. My default response is "why would I want to do that when I know what I like?" Yesterday he was like - do you want to try a grilled cheese sandwich on pretzal roll and he laughed at the panic-stricken and confused look on my face as I tried to suss that out because I love pretzals and I love grilled cheese, but why would I want to put them together when I like their tastes separately? I told him I'd think about it. I probably won't. But I'll consider it... lol. But yeah. I have usually one thing that I eat at every restaurant and that is what I order... why mess with a good thing?! Plus ... certain textures... ugh...
#9 - Catching vibes - Yep. ALLL of this.
#10 - Explanation styles - Gestures broadly at the wall of text you're looking at. *shrug** Yep. I over explain. :D
You said you didn't expect anyone to read all this.
A sentence like that is like an arrow straight into my RSD. It's like a black magic trick of reverse psychology.
Of course I had to read it.
Luckily, you're smart and entertaining, so I was able to enjoy what I had to do.
I read it also 🎉
The parking spot thing... O.O *feels called out*
Ok overthinking is a term NT's use, cause I am thinking about stuff the right amount thank you very much. I might say more than you want to hear, but you have no idea the torrent I am holding back (barely!) and you just aren't thinking enough! 😂😂
ADHD here as well: I am the same with time: Either spot on or no sense of time whatsoever :p
Thank you for your videos!!
My 9 year old twins are autistic. They also have ADHD and a lot of anxiety. Your videos really help me understand what they might be thinking and how they might be seeing their world. I feel like I can empathize with them more and be more patient with the struggles.
I also think you and Debbie are very brave and kind to be so open about your lives. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing that and for being here! Your twins are lucky to have a parent working hard to understand them. That's amazing and the patience especially will go so far. With our backgrounds as longtime educators, we're also working on more projects and videos for parents and families later this year, so stay tuned! Appreciate all your nice words ❤️
I think I probably have all of these to an extent. But #9 really, really hit home. This is something I recognized years before I had a clue I'm autistic. People's mood just sticks to me, and unfortunately especially the negative feelings. And it is so hard to get rid of them. What I have been doing recently is that I kind of tell myself that this is not my own feeling, and I can even imagine shaking the feeling off, like leaving it physically behind me in a walking path or something like that. Doesn't work always, but it can usually provide some relief.
Nice! I'm gonna try that :)
10/10.
As a late diagnosed Autistic your channel has helped me immeasurably to understand my experience as being very real for me. Thank you.
So glad to hear it’s helpful for you!! And it’s still always fun (and helpful for me too) to hear other people share similar experiences. Thanks for being part of our community! 😊
Oh my gosh-the DISHWASHER! I thought that was just me. I should have know better. Since I found your channel, I have recognized so many behaviours that I thought were just uniquely me, and yet here you are describing them. I am always realizing that so many of my quirks are not just specific to me, but rather are due to being neurodivergent. It makes me feels like less of a weirdo to know that I am not the only one doing these things. And yes, all 10 items from today's video apply to me in some way. Including rearranging the dishwasher when no one is looking.
I laughed very loud when I saw the dishwasher part. We're not alone!
How can it be that most women are not diagnosed while you sum up most of my secret life struggles? I was diagnosed autistic in my 37th. But before that I was just a shy girl feeling all the vibes and getting crushed by it daily. Blessed are you!
The anecdotes in this video are not diagnostic. It’s just for fun.
Yep. All 10!
The one that hit home the most is hyper focusing on the cup in the movie.
I constantly say out loud things like, "That would never happen!" "He'd never do that!" "Why doesn't he just zip up his coat!?" (when it's pouring or a blizzard outside and the character's complaining it's cold) or "That cup was in her other hand a second ago!" "No one holds a cigarette that way!" etc.
It really takes the fun out of watching movies. I actually tell myself out loud "stop nit picking and just enjoy the movie". Sometimes I can. Most times I can't.
Thanks again for another awesome video! 💖 I'm not officially diagnosed but I scored super high on all the tests on the embraceautism website.
When I was in my 30s (now age 63) someone told me I should get a job as a continuity artist for the movies. Cuz I pick up the minutest details not only in props, costumes, settings and such but also in story logic continuity.
Interesting, cause I get very nit-picky about logic in videogames. For example, if a feature in a game doesn't logically make sense to the world, it really bugs me. A lot of people will say, "well what's the issue? It's a fun addition to the game, and games are about having fun, so how can you say it makes the game worse?" Yet, to me, I really crave a logically consistent world in a videogame, so videogame logic (which often requires a degree of suspension of disbelief) has often really bugged me, though I've learned to accept more and more of it over time. Basically, an objectively fun feature that harms the sense of consistency to a world is actually a negative to me, but I find it's not for the vast majority of people.
@Li-Fu7 I get it! Makes complete sense to me. Suspension of disbelief, yes. If only I could! 😂
Yes Barbara! I literally JUST did the "Look at that distracting thing in the background!" to my family during a movie this weekend lol! I'm that person who watches TV shows and notices the camera guy left his Starbucks cup in the shot lol. But definitely ALL 10 of these for me, no question!
Most of those apply to me. One thing that is not on your list is dropping things... a lot. In my mind, I can take my keys out of my pocket and unlock the door, but at least half the time they end up on the floor/ground. Also, I am not allowed to drink out of glass, I have special metal glasses and mugs for me. For some reason, my hands seem to want to do other things and I end up dropping the beverage. Just an idea for an additional item to your list. Also, I hyper focus on problems for weeks at a time. Ok, maybe months at a time.
Weird, huh?
Maybe you have dyspraxia?
Yes like I forget why my hand was gripping and I just release. Lol
i need the toughest drop proof phone case there is, with reinforced sides, because i would go through about 15 phones a year if i didn't. thing just leaps out of my hands/pocket everywhere. if i've got a bunch of things in my hand and a phone, i'm gonna drop the phone.
Didn't know this was due to autism, this is also me 😮
All I know is, the more I watch your videos, the more I don't don't feel so alone, so different from the rest of the world. For that I offer my deepest gratitude.
All of the above. I’m watching this from my spot on the couch holding my coffee all alone.
Oh man, so THIS is me!!! 69 yrs old and only in the last few years have I realized this is my reality. Years ago I read a book, Shadow Syndromes, and he talked about autism. I immediately recognized my husband is like this. With the internet and youtube, I've come to see that our whole family has autism to some degree, some more than others. Thank you for telling what it's like, I feel so much better! And give me 10 out of 10 for the things in this video, I mean a BIG 10! I just talked to my husband about this and he got so excited talking about the way he connects to these 10 things...he's 72. Thank you again. Should I stop now? lol
1. I usually have 2-3 spots I'm comfortable in and choose one, depending on my mood. Also, as a person who had to move quite a lot in my life, I have noticed, that I need around a year to find and set up those comfy spots for myself in new places. Scent plays a big role too.
2. I have frequencies I can ignore and those I cannot, but when close to burnout, my sensitivity rises.
3. These details are not useless to ME! :D
4. I have a specific order I always get chores done. Somehow it keeps me from overthinking, which would only slow me down.
5. Guilty! My record - I got the meaning on a therapy session while recalling the talk 15 years after the incident. It was hard falling asleep that day...
6. I ALWAYS read over a mail several times, debating on how to phrase certain things. Something which should take me 5 minutes takes me half an hour or more! And still forget the attachment half the time...
7. Actually, I am a little too time sensitive... because of my dad who drilled me since young. He's probably autistic too.
8. Check! E.g. I used to resent most breakfasts in day care, because on a lot of days there was hot milk involved. Fortunately, I didn't have to drink any, but the smell alone makes me wanna puke to this day... My first memory is of the moment when I rejected milk for the first time because of the smell. Couldn't speak much more than 'No' at that time. Never touched it since.
9. Totally. But that applies to the mood of media as well. This is why I tend to avoid news, and choose films and books rather light in nature.
10. It's my business goal to work on overexplaining this year! Suggested by my coworkers XD Am I overexplaining/oversharing in this comment?
...
I guess I have a long way to go...
Actually, I *avoid* the lines with cashiers. It's far too anxiety-inducing to try to get all the items out of my cart onto the conveyor belt, during which the cashier is ringing up my stuff at a zillion miles an hour, and I'm juggling to not only put my items on the belt but also to get my payment ready (and usually scan my Amazon Prime or loyalty card or whatever) while another employee is hastily grabbing my stuff to put into bags I don't need and don't want to pay for and I'm telling them, "Thanks, but I have my own bags -- I'll bag everything myself" ... because I also don't like how other people bag my stuff, and I'll be confused where everything is when I get home. I bag things in a specific way so refrigerated items are together, and frozen items are together, that kind of thing. Otherwise it's a mess when I get home and yet *more* anxiety because I'm having to take everything out so I can sort it and put it where it goes -- cabinet, fridge, freezer, etc. Oh, and while all this is going on there are people lining up behind me with their own groceries, etc., so now I'm in their way while I'm trying to juggle all this. It's an utter nightmare. I just need to go to the self-checkout so I can do things in my own time, and I'll know where everything is when I get home and putting things away isn't such a chaotic disaster zone.
Detergents can't go in the same bag with food.
Dry food like beans or rice should be in the same package.
Frozen things must be in the same bag to be kept cold by each other and same with the refridgerated ones.
Tomatoes or peaches or grapes or strawberries (and the other fruit an vegetables that can be squished) can't go with potatoes or onions and must be put last in bag.
Yogurt and eggs must go first in bag to secure their placement.
And I put them on band with order so hopefully cashier doesn't mix them all.
Exactly! Don't put the cheese with coffee...and then I'm over there at the end rearranging the bags so I can put them in my cart again, and five people are in line staring at me and the cashier is waiting for me to scan my card, but the bags have to be fixed before we go to the car. It's exhausting, so I go to self check, where I bag it all myself.
@@alisseat.5576 And then the cashier messes up your order by just grabbing something 3 spots ahead because they feel like it. ARGHHHHH! At least here in Germany, you basically always bag your stuff yourself in the first place.
Yes!!! This is why I order grocery pickup
Hate shopping, no matter grocery or clothing.If i have to do it i prefere go early morning when shops are less busy and the shelves are well organized.I have also my own way to pack my stuff ,glad that in France, where i live, there is no service like this.
I am for real laughing out loud! Awesome video!! This is my daughter all the way! You guys are really gifted in the way you share information and present it!
Thanks so much!! We're realizing just how much practice we both got in sharing information in different ways from teaching for so many years. Glad you're finding this helpful!
Truely the best actor i came across on youtube😂😂i kept getting distracted with the acting and had to rewatch the points.
Hi, my name is Chris. Apparently you know me better than 98% of people who've met me.
Best comment
And now I can’t decide on the perfect emoji to respond with here…
Little details? Like, my copy of The Last Supper painting shows them drinking wine out of clear glass crystal glasses? Say what! I can't unsee that. They didn't have those back then! Outrageous!
10 of 10 BTW great video😉
😳 I've been flip flopping for years on whether or not it's worth seeking assistance or even a diagnosis for autism spectrum. This video may have sealed the deal for me. ❤️
My hearing is slowly fading and I have tinnitus, but noises can still drive me nuts, especially the voice of one particular colleague at work. I always feel so relieved when she decides to work from home.
I think that means I score ten out of ten. I wish I had known more about autism before my diagnosis, at the age of 51. That would have saved me so much stress, anxiety, and energy over the years.
I mean this in the best way possible. The ‘bad’ acting between you two cracks me up every time I watch your videos. I love it.
Ten out of ten ,i actually laughed out loud, i had this playing in the kitchen while i did the dishes, and pretty much the same time as you did the dishwasher sketch, my husband walked in the room, started picking dishes up and moving things around, as i hear myself say ,STOP,ive got a method and thats not it !!! As he puts the dish down and quickly exits the room lol .
I love the vibe hangover idea !! 😂 brilliant, and so accurate
all 10 of them. Since 5 years I suspect being autistic. Now I'm 70. It's a lot to digest. Yhank you for sharing your findings.
Glad you're here :)
@@intelligentgluteus-maximus4720 thank you. I definitely enjoy being a part of a large family now with understanding of the things I thought I was experiencing alone. So, although late in life, I love it to know now how I experienced my past and what is more, I (hope to) learn things (from Chris ans Debbie) / tricks to help me manage my remaining years.
Good luck. You are not alone.
One of the countless epiphanies just cascading endlessly since my autism discovery is that, as long as it's not harming me or anybody else, then even if somebody (whether a person around me or one of the 'ghosts" in my head, people in my past who've nagged at me) thinks it's silly, immature, pickayune, etc., I have EVERY RIGHT and COMPLETE FREEDOM to just FLY with my "rigid rules" and do things the way that keeps my "gut" in non-frantic eliquibrium-contentment, keeps that inner 'static demon' far, far away. Just go ahead and do it, life is too short to... not. You feel the 'static' starting when you need to bag and weigh five different kinds of vegetables at the supermarket (and, horrors, with people waiting behind you)? There's an employee there who can do it for you? Hallelujah. Give it to the person who gets paid to do it. Does it make you look feeble or incompetent, like you don't know how to work a scale or read a screen? WHO. CARES. (!!!) Just DO it. Whatever might or might not (and probably "not") be going on in other people's heads is a closed book to you. It really is. It's slightly delusional even to dwell on it. Even what you imagine is going on in their heads is still in YOUR head (surprise: you're NOT in their heads, so you can't really know), so just stop doing it to yourself. Take your freedoms, be kind to yourself, spare yourself every moment of "static" (diisregulation, anxiety, disorientation, panic) that you can. Life can only be better for it.
slowly I'm discovering this . I try to be kind to myself and tell myself I can start every day with a new blanc sheet.
@@SpicaStudio-ry4vq Perfect!
YES. Thank you for saying this. This has been a 5 year process for me to just start letting go of what I think everyone else's expectations are and just do it, if it's not harming anyone.
@@jschu27 🙂
@@SpicaStudio-ry4vq 🙂
Chris, this video is a great example of why I love your work.
- You do your groundwork. And you formulate the signs well, they are not some random things.
- You don't claim it's all autistic people, even though all the ones you asked confirmed this.
- You don't claim these are THE signs - though the list is pretty damn good thanks to tyour groundwork.
- You give enough visual cues for us with auditory processing issues, and structure your videos nicely. Consistently!
- You speak clearly and at a nice pace.
And yes, me too. Not all of those as strongly, but all at least some of the time.
...... plus, he has a pleasant voice and I can hear no vocal clicks and/or mouth and tongue sounds when he speaks.
This means I can't listen to people with (my-) nerves - grating voices. I quite often have to miss out on interesting topics because of that. To make matters worse people seem to be in the habit of adding a meaningless sound carpet. That's when I zone out if I haven't already.
Am I autistic? I can relate to most of the 10.
I most likely have CPTSD with similar symptoms though. But I'm 72 and no therapists as yet have been interested in tackling childhood SA by siblings. ( it's such a long time ago / you seem to have dealt with it very well / cui bono? said a young and aspiring psychologist / get over it!)
@medievalladybird394 The therapists you've seen don't sound very professional.
But regarding possible autism, that's one thing where at some point the official diagnosis ceases to matter much. If you no longer need accommodations in school or at work, and you don't need assistance due to autism, then it's kind of... What practical meaning does it have anymore? You can search for things that help your life on your own even without it, and would need to do so even with the diagnosis.
@MiljaHahto ooh, don't tell a German professional they're not professional.
And yes of course I know all that you said myself. I'm 72, not demented - yet 😂. It's just having a name for my own "weirdness" is helpful.
Explaining it to others is probably as difficult as trying to explain my type 1 LADA diabetes. Most people aren't really interested. They just want to state the fact that I'm different or acting differently. "
"Can't you just behave normal?" A friend said. Well if he tells me what's normal, I could try.
@@medievalladybird394 Regarding getting a name for it, autistic community sometimes talks about "self-diagnosed and peer-reviewed". Sounds like you'd get peer-reviewed very easily.
Sure, in official circumstances it doesn't count, but in private life you don't need to say it's not official... Though, many people don't know what autism really is anyway, so speaking about practical challenges instead often works better anyway. And there are plenty of terms for those as well! Besides this channel, there are others that are helpful. Mom on the Spectrum has many videos about the terms (amount tips and hints and whatnot), and Orion Kelly has done some very descriptive ones, for example about auditory processing disorder which is common amount autistic people. .
I only have 8 of these. Not formally diagnosed with Autism, but it's hard for older adult females to get diagnosed. Also, though I've never been tested, after learning more about it, I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Both of my adult children were diagnosed with Autism, under 2 years old; but back in that time, girls were very rarely diagnosed with either. Especially if you could speak. I've worn my masks so long, I don't think I CAN unmask completely. Been working on it a bit though. One of my bosses came in my office yesterday & I was bouncing my leg pretty hard, as I had been out sick the day before, and was trying to play "catch up" all day. He said "You alright Val? Got a leg cramp you're working out or something?" I replied "No." So he asked "Why are you doing that then?" I laughed lightly and replied "I'm stimming." He asked what that meant. So I told him in a way I've practiced & studied most of my adult life "Just working out my energy. It helps me calm down. It's something most people who have ADD and/or Autism do to comfort ourselves." Then he asked me if I had a lot of extra energy and bounced off of the walls & got into a lot of trouble as a kid. He couldn't imagine me like that, as a kid. Then as he walked out he said "I need to learn more about the signs." I hope he will and share that information with my direct boss. She gets so annoyed when she catches me. And I don't know why. I do it silently or with very little noise, and it doesn't affect my work. It's second nature, & most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it until she says something. I wish I could find work where the bosses don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, but expect me to part the Red Sea miraculously to force companies to pay us.
Assertiveness is NOT my gift.
Anyway, thanks for making your videos. Gives me a chuckle & some help me to understand myself better
I had to replay @00:23, because it suuuure sounded like you said “my *non-existant* wife.” 🤣😅
3:59 Oh my goodness. I’ve always been hyper sensitive to sound. Just sitting in my bedroom I can hear the beeping from the cross walk outside. Of course nobody believed me. Until one day I had enough of being told I was “too sensitive”, “being dramatic”, “seeking attention” etc. The second I heard it I ran outside, taking someone with me. Sure enough we saw someone just getting to the other side. Only then was I listened to or believed. I’d love to say that this was the end of the name calling but I was told, “It’s not bothering me, so it’s your problem, not mine!” Even when shown, it didn’t matter. 😞 (10/10)
Flare Audio's CALMER ear inserts have been so amazing for my sound sensitivities. They might work for you, too.
@@mmegraham Thanks. I have a set of earplugs that I have found to be helpful but I’m always open to suggestions like yours. I’ll have to check them out.
Sounds!! I’m one of those people who occasionally hear “The Hum,” which is usually louder in the house than outside (i run all over inside and outside trying to figure out where it’s coming from).
Nobody else here can hear it.
I record it in my online calendar and try (with a sound generator) to identify the frequency. I hear it a few times a year, and it drives me crazy! I also have tinnitus, but that is a whole other thing-24/7 and a much higher frequency.
I live in a totally non-industrial area
Anybody else ever heard this? (Frequency is low, in the 70 Hz range)
And if my car has a 'funny noise' only I can hear it 😢
Yes, is it real? Is it change in blood pressure? I search the house, I lean out the window. Is the government mining underneath my town? Drives me crazy and paranoid!
I recognised too many of these, especially the chair!
The perception that we lack empathy is that we can shut down/disassociate when we are overwhelmed by emotion/empathy. I do this when someone dies or I blurt out something completely inappropriate.
At 55 I have long since recognized all of these and constructed mental workarounds so I can “function”. Now they rank as preferences (mostly) instead of requirements. Yay masking!!
Same! 😂
OMG so many of these examples really resonated. None quite as much as, "specific order for bagging groceries". I also have specific utensils for eating different types of food. For example. But yes, I do all of these in some form.
Newly diagnosed late diagnosed. All 10 were so perfect. They made me laugh out loud. My service dog jumped into my recliner. I yelled ‘WTF?’ He realized what had happened and politely moved. Never took my chair or spot on the bed again. LOL - and I can’t watch when a person has a gun that shoots endless bullets. I count all the bullets from every gun. 🤦🏻
Keep up the good work. You have made my ‘reveal’ so much easier. Taking away personal doubt the way you do is huge! 🙏
“I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself" 😂
OMGOODNESS….I almost always over explain everything!! I find I also over share. And the empathy is so overwhelming sometimes. Wow!! This video was fabulous!!
I... actually hold my cup that way
But WHY? 😫
👁️👄👁️
@spulwasser To prevent it from falling, my fingers are dumb. Plus! It warms my palm. Plus plus! It's nice to adjust my fingers around the circular shape of the mug, like, you know, putting the right distance beetween them. I also hold like this my universal pineapple shaped plastic glass
Yes holding things a certain way because they feel great against your fingers that way ❤❤@@AergiaLaggante
@@AergiaLaggante ok🤔 I think I would just drop the mug to one direction like this though😂
another amusing video 😊 yup. I cant believe I have all of these.. you saying that those who arent autistic, dont seem to do these things.. helps me A LOT. I carry a lot of imposter syndrome
oh, man the sounds, the humming, the beeping, the buzzing, everything. that's so crazy
Chris, I'm kind of cracking up laughing because your movie cup thing makes me feel so incredibly understood. Especially-retrieving a prop for demonstration purposes. There are others but I have learned to comment way less about one particular specific thing I hate and NEVER fail to notice-filmed scenes that get RUINED by characters who come in from the outside and never close the door behind them. I often can't relax the entire rest of the scene until it moves on to a different setting where I guess things appear to have worked out OK because nobody is talking about holy crap, what happened last night after they sat down for a meal with the front door wide open, which logically must mean that raccoons somehow didn't enter the home and spoon garbage into their mouths that night while they slept.
I used to live with a partner and they would try to point out, well they or somebody else probably went right back and closed it and it just wasn't shown because it doesn't matter to the story. I also would try to do this for myself but it was kind of useless-WHO closed it is almost as troubling as it getting left open. A neighbor? Do the characters have a maid they don't talk about? Do they have problematic attitudes about service workers and that's why they never mentioned this maid? If a neighbor came and took care of it why didn't the neighbor say anything to them? Does this just... happen all the time? Actually these characters might need to see a doctor. Or... do you think their dog could be a retired service animal who knows how to close the door? I'm also very bothered thinking about their utility consumption. But also how weird must the relationship with that neighbor be? Other people are perplexingly unmotivated to pursue these questions and are just confused when the dramatic dinner scene ends and my takeaway was, maybe these characters should get solar panels, and a neurology consult.
I'm having fun joking exaggeratedly about it but this is 100% real and the handful of people who are safe to see my real reaction are aware that if a character doesn't close a door in situations where a person should definitely close the door, I will probably miss the big picture point of the whole scene and will need to rewatch while cultivating an attitude of acceptance about the terrible door hygiene.
I enjoy your channel immensely and value your openness and vulnerability (SSSHHHHYYYYYY) (I understand I probably transliterated that wrong and am taking liberties).
I ALWAYS notice/am bothered by, a door not being closed in a (movie) scene-including CAR doors!
Good list! One of the things I struggle with in online communication is certain types of emoji just make me think the other person is complete mush in the head. It doesn't even take a wrongly placed comma or a common misspelling of a word, just that one emoji is enough for me to think of them as basically late stage dementia patients.
My response to all emojis is to think, “You’re an adult, so use your WORDS!”
My sister is autistic and she been thinking for a long time that I have it to but I have never thought long about it because I always related autism with very specific structured things. I have watched this video and literally have them all. I can relate so much to all the things you said and my friends can acknowledge it. Thanks for the video and I will check through my therapist if I can do a test.
I have found that with time the bottom-up processing gets better and better. What I mean is that over many years and decades all those details eventually start to form into the bigger picture and parts of the world do start to make sense after all! It does get better!!!
Who besides me has to have their shoes tied to the exact same tightness as each other?
Well, who wouldn't?
Well done for doing this with such humour! Most Autism and ADHD videos I've seen are VERY serious - which is a shame. Neurodivergent people have a sense of humour and you have demonstrated that really well. Since my daughter and grandchildren have been diagnosed with a mix of these two I've been learning more about the various common traits. I already knew I had a mild version of autism but it seems there's some ADHD in me as well! As both seem to be mild, I'm not concerned and won't seek a diagnosis, especially as they are hard to come by in the UK. I've lived this long without a diagnosis so armed with the extra information that generous people such as yourself put on TH-cam I will be just fine.
These points resonate ridiculously hard with me! Maybe because they have been so, so, so impactful for my life, coupled with that they’re not described or mentioned often.
Thanks, Chris!
Really helpful! I'm understanding my kid better. So much of what you said strikes home with the ways she reacts!
9 out of 10. But most of those are very defining characteristics of my experience. Time blindness is my only exception here. I’m hyper aware of it. Probably as a coping mechanism, though. Awesome list, Chris.
Absolutely 100% check off all 10 of these, and the majority of these were labelled as my 'quirks' or personality traits before I or anyone else even had an inkling I was autistic (back in the day when we were all told it was *only boys* that could be autistic).
#6 and #9 have been the causes of so much trauma in my life emotionally, I cannot explain the level of pain overthinking and literally having your whole entire mood flipped in 5s by someone else's feelings can bring. A lot of times as well, that mood flip can then cause the overthinking of things to start and before you know it you've snowballed and you're remembering every shitty experience of bullying you've ever had, you feel those feelings again as if you're back there, and then you end up berating yourself for being so pathetic and then you feel even more of a shitty human and you're convinced something is mortally wrong with you because everyone else seems to know how to *'Human'* and *'Be Normal'* and you don't.
And #8 is something I have struggled with horrifically since I can remember and it lead to me finding a multitude of ways to disguise the textures of things because I didn't want to cause trouble and be a burden for my Mum after she'd spent ages cooking. But when I was older (in my teens) and I felt brave enough to mention it, my Mum took it the wrong way at first and thought I was berating her cooking (she's Asian too, so she took it *VERY* personally), and it caused some massive arguments and bad feelings. But after a while I got it through to her it's not her cooking, it's TEXTURES and that not even Gordon Ramsay cooking it would make me be able to eat it, she began to be better with it. Now if a texture bothers me, she just finds my reaction hilarious (scrunched up face and a lot of flapping apparently, lol).
#3 was an interesting one for me, because I thought everyone worked with details, just that we autistic people worked... MORE with details, but to know that non-autistic people actually have a very different way of seeing things is an eye-opener. It also makes a lot of sense why *I* am always that annoying person in the room (this legit happened last night) going, "but the body was found face down and now it's face up and no one has moved it," and "he's only just been hit, so why is the blood on his face dry?" and no one else notices. I always just get told "you're not supposed to think of things like that," lol 😂
This is a great video, thank you so much!
❤❤ I'm juggling between whether I'm autistic or whether what I am is because of constant and intense verbal, emotional, and physical abuse by my mother from the day I saw the light of day.
@@miavos3610 many neurotypicals "deal"with autistic people by abusing them.
Trauma and autism does have overlap... It may be really worth going for a diagnosis, just to rule it out. Wishing you the best. ❤
I’m sorry you had a mother like that. I hope you can heal and figure out what is going on for sure. ❤
I'm autistic and also been abused by my mother trough out my life. After talking to a psychologist, he said that it's not uncommon for autists to have an narcissist parent
It's worth remembering it can be both autism and CPTSD. In fact, it's fairly common for them to go together. I'm sorry you weren't treated with the love and respect you deserved. She should've treasured and protected you. Abuse is hard to heal from, but it can be done.
If it's both, it's important to figure out which thing is which. I have both and for years was stuck because I didn't know about the autism part. I was trying to make it go away with trauma therapy, which obviously didn't work and made me feel awful about myself for "failing" at therapy. I couldn't figure out why none of the tools for helping flashbacks worked. It's because they were meltdowns.
If you aren't already, I'd highly recommend just trying the strategies that tend to help autistic folks and see if they make a difference. You don't need a diagnosis to accommodate yourself! For me, issues that I'd never been able to figure out got so much easier once I started meeting my autistic needs and being compassionate with myself about them.
Most of these but not all. Was really good to watch. Always funny and informative.
Yep, diagnosed last year at 66 years old, high masking, and I bet all 10
I'm always up for being amused! See you guys tomorrow
Looking forward to it! 🥳
😂😂😂 YUP I do All of them! And here's something really funny for you. I didn't realize I was autistic until a few months ago, and I worked for decades as an RN in psychiatry😂😂😂 I can recognize all sorts of syndromes and other people, but never saw this in me until recently when I was looking at my ADD diagnosis LOL! This fits me like a glove 😊 thanks Chris!
Bottom up processing was really helpful in my career but I also developed how to see the overall problems in 3D and was able to process what was going on fast! (Neurodivergent people tended to treat it like my superpower and others thought I was cheating in some way). I grew up in a rather abusive household with 2 sisters both mentally and physically bullying me. I had to take my superpower and suss out the environment quickly and turn off background noise to center on people noise. But if the refrigerator is making weird noises I will investigate). It kept me safer. In therapy in my 30’s I learned to keep other’s “vibes” out. It was really cool when I learned that one (I’m kind of the master of it now). Therapy has helped me but when I was working I needed to work with my therapist on tone and words so I wouldn’t be assaulted at work. Non-divergent people hated how direct I was unless they were from NYC or NJ. At work I was told to be nicer and I had NO IDEA what that meant. My therapist didn’t either. Nor did any woman who worked as an engineer. So with my therapists help I started every sentence with I’m sorry, have you tested that? (I knew they hadn’t or they wouldn’t have suggested their “brilliant” idea). Then I’d say - well, let’s test that and I’d set up a testing area (I was NOT QA(quality assurance). Things I’ve done since I was a child people either find it enduring or that I’m mentally challenged…. I’m usually underestimated in all the facets of my life. I used to get down on myself but now my quirks make me laugh (and to be honest I’m now always examining them to see if they can be turned into a useful superpower!)
Oh yeah! ALL of them! Thank you again for sharing and explaining them. All my family are autistic, in varying flavours - we have hypo and hyper in several areas.
All of them apply, of course, but the four that 🤜🏼🥴:
- Struggle with time
- Bottom-up processing
- Over-under explaining
- Delayed processing
I have stories upon relevant stories and their resultant coping skills, after more than 50 trips around the sun, but this is not my TH-cam channel. 😂
"Nobody holds a cup that way!" is so relatable lol.
100 percent, esp noticing details, food textures, over explaining, and catching other people’s moods, but the delayed processing….I always wondered why as a child I was teased so much when i didn’t get a joke, or I suddenly got it way after it happened. Still so frustrating!
I routinely look up emoji descriptions to know which one to use.
yes and then pick one and delete again and change and finally decide not to respond at all lol
Yeah, I got to find the correct emoji. Then I worry in a text that their phone isn't compatible with mine and what will come up instead. My husband's phone is old and some emojis come up as questions marks for him. 😟
Thank you, I was looking for this one. With the vast majority of emojis, I have absolutely NO idea what emotion they are supposed to convey. I have like a half dozen I am comfortable using. Glad it‘s not just me xD
I'm both big and small today tomorrow, and years down the road all at same time. And get stopped. I get more thoughts, remember everything from the past
1:09 Woke up, fell out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. - Oh man, the classics. 🫶
The vibe hangover is real~~~
Could I ask a question? Does anyone else have a song playing in your head all the time, that you can just tune into when you feel like it that's always there? My daughter had this too. I would say to her what song have you got playing in your head right now, and then I tell her mine. Right now the one playing in my head is I think it's called 9 Miles High or something. I have no idea why these things do this but there you go. Anyone else? Or am I the only one?
yeah i feel its pretty common, ive seen others mention this too! right now for me the song is battle-axe by deftones
Mine's The Sound of Silence, since it was in the video. A bit ironic since the internal jukebox starts running before I wake up til the moment I fall asleep. I've been thinking of it as an ADHD thing.
Yup. For some reason, right now, it's America from West Side Story.
I need new songs
Practically always. Usually the same one for several days at a time, too. Freaking ADHD non stop internal radio channel.
“They Say You’re Crazy” by Paula Kaplan is her story of writing for the DSV 4. She writes about how they decided on what traits denoted autism, as well as parts of her experience in being part of the group making decisions about how to identify and classify different mental patterns. So eye opening.
Several years ago I saw a newspaper article stating that the DSM 5 was beginning to be written, and that contributors now had to sign a contract agreeing to not write about their experience writing for the DSM.
When I was starting to learn about ADHD, I listened to some webinars by ADHD experts talking about the DSM. The common refrain was that ADHD had been recognized as a condition for a couple hundred years, and that emotional dysregulation was always recognized as part of it - until ADD was added to DSM 2, and it was not included. Russell Barkley noted that the committee tried to add it back in DSM 5, but were “overruled by higher ups who didn’t want to do anything that would affect prevalence.” He described it as “almost an obsession.”
I have no good words for people whose choices affect how vulnerable people will be viewed, and how they will view themselves, but then seek to protect their own image above all else.
Thanks
Thanks for the support! 🙌
This video is really helpful. Late diagnosis at 65 👍 thank you 😊
I often don’t realise I’ve been insulted during a conversation until weeks to years later. And I suddenly feel really annoyed that I “didn’t get a chance” to respond. The same goes for when someone has obviously flirted with me.
"It's as if background noises feel like a personal attack"- Oh my god!!! YES, that's what I think, ALWAYS!!! Would've never thought about explaining it like that, but YES, exactly!! Thank you!
"Milk with even the slightest hint of warmness - that's diarrhea talk" made me LOL.
Brilliant. Amazing. The best. Thank you. I laughed - with recognition - all the way through this. My partner is going to love it, too. Especially the dishwasher bit.
10/10 🙌🏻 Another super validating video!!
You’re so funny. Love your videos.
My spot, supersonic hearing, weird small details, oopsies on tv/movies, small rules about the dishwasher, (my husband is worse with silly rules), delayed processing, overthinking, time management (ready too early so I just do x quick- until I have to rush to my appointment, soggy food…
Not sure about others moods but I do know I’m solar powered… and explaining with details
Thanks again for being silly
Thanks!
Thanks for the support! 🙌
@@ChrisandDebby thank YOU! Could you expand on what "sarcasm disguised as friendless" means?
Yes! Background noises do feel like a personal attack! I’m not crazy! It’s the AC and heating system and the fridge. I not only hear it but could feel the vibration in my body. 😬
bottom-up thinking is so true for me and building ttrpg characters. my husband is top-down and great at strategy, so now what we do is i pick all the things that catch my eye and he fine-tunes it into smth playable :)
I find that the big picture does interest me a lot. I'm interested in understanding how systems work. I def need to start this work bottom up, know all the details (even the insignificant ones even if it's just to file them under "insignificant"). Then I can enjoy my understanding of the whole of what I'm looking at/studying. This can vary a bit according to subject and it's not like I am totally incapable of learning about something if it's top down - I just get much more easily frustrated that way and feel like I never actually understand the whole of it until I know all the details.
1:45 reminded me Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory. "that's my spot"
I thought the same haha, instantly
My number is "when did you steal my brain." Seriously yall, this is the most relatable video I've ever seen on TH-cam. And I hate picking favorites of anything.
Omg. I laughed so hard at number 3 that I almost fell out of my favorite chair. 😂 I related to every single one of these but number 3 really got me.
Lol “.. the cup .. “ this is so me thank you for sharing this
Love all your videos; they're always sooo relatable.
the ones i clicked most with like #10 made me realize that it's too hard for me to gauge how many of these r accurate to me bc your and my worldviews + lives are so different LOL
the title being "you over-explain or under-explain everything" made me think of very specific examples in my life so when you gave your own examples that didn't focus on exactly the same part of "over-explaining" that i was thinking of, I realized that was probably happening with the other nine signs too
Well I always wished I was a 10. I've suspected this for a while. Thank you for sharing your experiences, feelings, and your life.
Great collection of observations! I notice that in reviewing IQ test results, many Autistics tend to have a lower processing speed score compared to the other scores that are averaged into their composite score (like working memory, spatial processing, etc.). Not all, but a majority, so #5 totally tracks with my clinical observations!
Definitely all 10 for me ❤❤❤ a few of those hit me today in fact 😢
Oh my gosh, all of 'em! With the overexplaining flavor for #10. As usual, love your videos. They not only help me understand myself better, in an environment where it's impossible to get a formal diagnosis unless you're wealthy (thank you, U.S. healthcare). And they help me explain to my friends and family, what my experiences feel like. And this comment would be incomplete if I didn't mention the carrot. Love the carrot!
With the food texture thing: for me it’s the absolute stimmy delight of my favourite foods which HAVE to be just right, and when they are, I am just so sublimely happy… and having the right foods available during specific times: latte and Brie slices for breakfast…. The way the Brie rind snaps just slightly when you bite it…. Or pecans: nibbling them and noticing the texture with each nut…. Or the exact temperature of the latte: if it is not the right degree of ‘extra hot’ I cannot drink it!
Being sickened by the emotions of other people: yes
Waking up at night still processing something from the day
Forgetting that I have delayed processing and feeling like an idiot in professional meetings, then having a perfect understanding of risks and benefits a week later….
Another awesome installment guys!!
Thank you🏆
All of these affect me to one extent or another. So, 10/10.
“The house runs in B flat” struck a chord (pun intended) because I also have perfect pitch and literally can usually tell the tone of anything I hear if it’s loud enough. Good to know it’s not just me.
I’m laughing so hard. These are all me. Thank you for this video. I’m 53 and self diagnosed autistic. Looking to get a diagnosis.
Thank you so much for doing this in the funniest way.
coldness on my skin from metal, a breeze hitting the small of my back? NO THANKS. nearly all of these except when it comes to food textures. all food is fair game. eating is the best and finding new ways to eat things i already like is good fun! the "air-empathy" is my krptonite, i can tell immediately when something is off.... but coming to terms that isn't my duty to fix that is going to take more time
Omg, I laughed so hard at every single one 😂
I'm in the process of figuring out my own neurospicyness and this is so eye opening.
9/10. The exception was #1.
I am just like that with sounds!
Some of these I had to just laugh about because they are so true. Thanks for the list.
AMAZING! 😂 hilarious too, I saw myself in all of this topics, #1 to #10, and I was like 😅😂
Great video guys!
It is really hard for us autistics to be aware of what is a neurodivergent behaviour or what is not, my therapist helps me a lot with that. Sometimes I really talk to myself to LET SOMETHING GO, when I am stuck into some blackhole of overthinking!
I am rolling!! Yeah I can relate!!! Thanks so so much! At least I can show people I care about this vid!