Sebastian Maniscalco - SUPERMARKETS (What's Wrong With People?)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ค. 2024
- Watch the full "What's Wrong With People?" special on @Netflix
Follow Sebastian Maniscalco
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Website: bit.ly/SMLiveWebsite - ตลก
"I never want to be the problem" Pretty much sums up my entire existence.
Me too. I'm like complacent to a fault when dealing with any place where other people are also being provided with the same service just cause I never want to be that guy. It's almost egotistical. Like I want everyone to be like "man, that guy sure was level headed" as if they even think about me for more than 10 seconds after I'm gone.
I don't like attention that's why I don't want to be the problem
You're the real hero of our society! Too bad everyone wasn't the same way. The world would be euphoric.
Rob i’m thinking about u right now Rob, for longer than 10 seconds, im thinking all about u
Literally tell my oldest son “Never be the question-asker in the line, nobody likes the damn question-asker”
If another comedian tells these jokes, they would fall flat. His mannerisms sell the jokes. He's brilliant.
@@whitetyson4085 Everyone talks about customer service and self checkout. But most are boring. He brings it to life.
So much of being a good comedian is the delivery. Good comedians can sell weak jokes and bad comedians can ruin good jokes.
I like that he exposed the white upper middle class for the idiots that they are. Like the cycle class joke and the no shoes in the house joke. The list goes on lol this bit in particular is meant for those people
Really? Bill Burr told a similar joke on supermarkets, cards, and self checkout. Funny as hell
@@fredflintstoner5230 Yeah I heard them. Not as funny.
“ We weren’t properly trained for this machine “ 😂😂
Neither are the cashiers lol
zoolander?
“And we’re just jumpin’ in on it?”
So I self-trained at 3 A.M. 🤣🤣🤣
I need a Xanax to do self service 🤣‼️
No matter how hard life is when you turn Sebastian on Instant relief!
True ✌❤
You got that right! I could watch him over and over!!!
This is even more true for me during the Corona quarantine
Yes....especially now with Corona.It's pure distraction 👍🏻
Agreed 100%!😉
I love how he makes everyday things, HYSTERICAL!
Char Horst YES! 😂
Hence why Jerry Seinfeld loves him - He can relate to his style of humour (about “nothing”) 😏
He looks at something and then says exactly what we are thinking: "They started self serve grocery checkouts but the cashiers never showed us how to use them". Spot on.
Little did we know there is humor all around us.😃😃
🤣🤣🤣🤣🥊😎
it isn' t just material, timing and physical comedy... it's likeability. Who wouldn't invite this guy to their parties and family dinners. .....and no politics. Love him.
I just adore him.
He's obnoxious and the angry at everything new, get off my lawn kids schtick is really boring.
David May you don’t get invited to many parties do you 😂
Yes. He's likable and fun. Like an Italian Stanley Kowalski in cool clothes.
No coarse language either, ~ he's the best !!
“ Timmy don’t even know he’s workin “ 🤣😂
Benjamin Cooper my all time favorite line!
Leslie Moore same!! 😂😂
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
😂😂😂😂
I feel he could’ve taken this a little further
I love how he looks at the audience out of the corner of his eye and smiles, letting them know he’s aware of the absurdity of it all.
Just introduced my wife to his material. A couple of our friends say that I remind them of him. I wish, but my wife agreed after hearing these clips.
"You know what...YOU DO IT!"
Adrian Ferrando 😂😂😂
😆😆😆 I died laughing
Short but powerful
"Forget it. I don't need it. Keep it going."
Jenny's Road 😂😂
lmao
Jenny's Road yep
Jenny's Road me too. Let’s forget it. Then ‘ Oh really? You sure?’ With smile on face cause she’s so happy I don’t care!!
Clothes. I've never been in a self check outline, where the clothes just scan. It's either no tag, scan regular price (allegedly on discount) or the person gets into a tinkle match with the scanner overseer person.
"It's supposed to be $5 dollars, but scan $24.99, can I get a price check?"
*15 minutes later* and Timmy is still on the hunt for a discounted cardigan price.
I refuse to get in line anyone in the self scan lane buying clothes. Rage inducing doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is he anyone elses subconscious voice? Because bruh... LMFAO the whisper voice, kills me every time😂😂😂
❤
Lmao right !
He's one of them now
❤️❤️❤️❤️ His clean comedy is his strong suit. I hope he sticks with that.
I prefer clean comedy too, but you must not have seen all of his videos, because he does use the F word here or there.
@@genericusername1365 indeed but that being said he is funny either way. My favorite comics are Tim Hawkins and Michael junior super clean and super funny.
@@Lazy_eye_blobFish I will check those two out, thanks for the tip.
@@genericusername1365 they are Christian's but a lot of none Christian's love them too. Also look at John Christ, he is a liberal but I honestly believe he is a good guy at heart.
@@genericusername1365 I think he's funny as well, but if you're that offended over a "fucking" curse word, then you are the biggest pussy walking, Jesus christ, man the fuck up already.
This guy is funny af. Watched a couple of his specials, truly original comedy. Keep it up.
joe martin I’ve watched’em all & need MORE😫
@@SueBoo2 I agree! What's your favorite part?
Zeke th-cam.com/video/-ceHdH4bHD4/w-d-xo.html
@@zekegonzalez1845 The part where it's over.
@@zekegonzalez1845 my fav is the ashy foot in line at store, cinder block foot... ☠️☠️☠️
"Timmy don't even know he's working!" So spot on lol
😂😂😂😂😭😭
It was a rough one!! Lol 🤣
"The human line" 😂
I thought that was very original....you knew exactly what he was talking about
It’s so true. It’s embarrassing af when they send someone for a price check. They come back 25 minutes later.
Or when they yell " I need a price check on Tampax!!"
His delivery is priceless. 😂♥️
The way he conveys his frustration is what makes him a comedic giant.
"Why am I working at the grocery store now?" Dead.
"Timmy's not coming back" 😂
I feel the same way. We should get a 5% to 10% for working the self service. I never applied for the damn job.
Melody Jordan the discount is the avoidance of human interaction
You dont have to wait in line tho
Melody Jordan...That is so funny. I have said the same thing. Not only do we do the shopping we have to check ourselves out too with no benefit??
It asks to enter your pin number when you put in your debit card and I'm thinking 'Where's my employee ID number' so I can get a discount.
Are there stores where they only have self checkout? You dont HAVE to use them if you dont want to normally. You can just have a paid cashier scan and bag your groceries if it upsets you.
At my supermarket there is a LOT of Timmy 😅
He looks like Tom Cruise, Ben Stiller and Steve Carell
... with a little Will Arnett thrown in
abiebaby47 And every once in awhile I can see some Bill Paxton. The late, great Bill Paxton. Remember his Chet character from "Weird Science"?
And maybe a bit of jerry seinfeld??
The fonz!
Buy hes funnier than all put together
His delivery is golden! Love from a random Haitian guy! ❤️❤️❤️🇭🇹
Sak passé!
Jon Francois N ap boule! You’re Haitian?
Seeing his clips more than once still cracks me up. He is that funny, his mannerisms and everything
"Timmy ain't coming back." Sure enough true. I never get in a people line.
At our store, you have to go to the people line, if you have more than 20 items, or it's after 9pm, the time the self check line closes. And you have to bag your own groceries, unless you ask for help, which doesn't happen often.
hands down the best comedian of the decade.
Did someone pay you to type that? Who the fuck are you people?
Perhaps should have read ,one of the best...
Russell Peters
sorry buddy, but Jim Gaffigan is best comedian of the decade.
Didn't the new decade just start? Isn't only January 2020?
He's so right! They all drift around the store lost and clueless..waiting for break time. LOL
Aint that the truth, I know cub foods has given up on their customer's needs!
Shame on them, look @ your maps and you find out exactly how many times you've been in your favorite grocery?
I've been in "my cubs food over 78 times in 9 years, yikes, huh?😧
This man will never not be funny. 😂✊🏽
I'm laughing so.... Hard😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 Timmy don't know that he's working😁😁😁😁😁😳😳
‘Here, YOU do it!’😆
Thank you Sebastian for your comedy talent! Watching your specials on Netflix 4 years ago during chemo for breast cancer....I had you on a continuous loop on my tablet next to my bed. No matter how bad the day was, I would never fail to laugh out loud!!! The red horn and the antifreeze bits send me to the floor no matter how many times I hear it!! You are the best :)
That's awesome. I'm glad to have read your comment.
I will have to look those 2 skits up! Thank you for sharing Shae!
Timmy doesn't even know he's working.
Come on man... Bananas are 4011...
Logan Rhodes yeah man I went through the 3am self training and learned this
I was thinking the same thing. bananas was the first PLU I memorized as a cashier
94237...organic fair trade, bitcchhheeezz
Thank you.
Yes! 😂
"Timmy doesn't even know he's working! This kid leaves he ain't coming back!" Lol I laughed so hard the first time I saw this bit my girlfriend was like is everything ok? I love Sebastian. Saw him in Pittsburgh last year! Some of the best money I ever spent!
"Timmy doesn't know he works there" hilarious
Banana is 4011
No artichokes is 4011, that's what confused the guy with the artichokes
Yes, it’s bananas. The first PLU everyone who’s ever worked at a grocery store memorizes first!!!!
94011 for the organic bananas
This guy needs his own sitcom! He is so hilarious!
Sitcoms are career killers, more often than not.
Mulaney ruined it for everyone else, great stand-up comic though
I found out he had a pilot called Sebastian Says. (2016) Tony Danza played his father. The show never got picked up. There are a few clips on TH-cam.
@@sjw520 because it was crap. They just edited his lineup into a coherent storyline, just visualizing the jokes. To my opinion, as good as Sebastian is, it didn't work
@@XmanSully Titus did this too
This guy is hilarious! I was engaged to an Italian and he is 100% on point
Me too! “ Keep it going!” 😁😁
This cracks me up every time!! 😂🤣
These observational skills are near-Seinfeldian!!
Chelenides do believe they’re friends...bouncing lines off of each other...❤️❤️🇨🇦🇨🇦
Way better than Seinfeld. Plus Seinfeld has turned into a self-important prick.
Sebastian, hearing Bill Burr talk about how he met you gives me some sort of inspiration that I can do this and gain the respect of the guys who are already greats. I love your delivery, and your story about getting your tie straightened makes me want to act too. Really, you’re just a cool dude. I hope to see you at the store sometime.
It's takes dedication son
matthew swider ... If it’s your passion and you work hard you can do it too. I wish you the best of luck!
“Forget it, I don’t need it.” DAMN RIGHT! I’m not gona be “that guy”. Never be “THAT GUY”.
I couldn’t agree more brother lol
Comedy gold!
I'm a bagger and I completely relate to the "can you find out how much this is?"
It's not just that too though, it's other things aswell.
It's like I run errands.
Lmao pure gold
Omg I remember his stand ups back when comedy central was comedy. This stand up was amazing and genius
It's amazing to me how much Sebastián and I have in common... I swear he's like the twin I never knew I had... LOL
*😂☠️😭 facts as someone whose worked for a grocery always see the confused people*
This was the first whole special I saw for him. That's when I found out this guy is an original genius.
When is Sebastian hosting SNL!? 😍🤞
Omg!!😂🤣😂🤣
That's an awesome idea!
He's to talented for that show.
SNL would cheapen his day talent
Ya snl isnt even funny i would hate for Sabastian to go on there.
He's too good for SNL
He is like an old school comedian (and very funny at that).
It's 3:am, I'll head to the grocery store now 🤣
He takes mundane things that I never knew I should make fun of or be mad at and gives me laughs, information, and solution all at once
I believe Timmy’s profession is a “courtesy clerk” in case anyone is writing that down.
I love this guy he is awesome 👏 when Iam feeling down on a Monday this is the guy to hear
He’s so honestly funny
This guy is already a legend, seriously!
I highly recommend you don't eat Corn Flakes while watching this...
Unless you want chunks spewed all over your screen. 😆
Truly the funniest comedian around. It’s not even close.
Jim Gaffigan kicks his ass. sorry buddy.
claude878878 No.
His actions make the jokes. He's hilarious.
My favorite comedian ♡
I'm laughing so hard, he is got me screaming with laughter 😂😂😂😂
Best comedian I've ever seen
Love him! He makes real life so funny!
He says what everybody else has thought /or wants to say... He's using every part of his body...that's why he had such a big head growing-up!!!🤣🤣🤣
He is describing me. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️I never want to be the problem. I end up helping other folks 🤭😝
SO FUNNY AND SO TRUE...I HAVE ACTUALLY SAID "FORGET IT, LIFES TOO SHORT.
Lolllll I was “the problem” today and I hated it! I usually just tell them to forget it BUT it was the only item I was purchasing so I had to be the one deflating the line. 😩😂
Vanessa Vanessa Vannesa lol
I got to be the problem once too. A pair of tracksuit pants, the last one of its kind in the pants aisle I found fit me very well but I can't find the tags on it or on the aisle, so I just wanted to still try my luck in purchasing it. No staff in the aisle or anywhere so I go straight to the cashier after I got other things to pay. I held up the line for 2-3 minutes just making the poor cashiers go check for the price & all, & at last, I had to let the pants go. I did apologise to the rest of the shoppers & the cashiers themselves, & they didn't mind it. But the pants juuuust had to have no tags. I needed it at the time because I just entered college & I need it for PE.
YOU DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL
This whole routine that this is cut from is flawless. I think it's much better than any of your more recent stuff
“Timmy doesn’t even know he’s working”
I avoid buying avocado when the only check out line is self serve, for that exact reason 😂😂
Love the grocery store laughs !!!!
Up to one minute ago I thought I was an old school old fart for treating those self-checkout lanes as my archenemies. Thank you Sebastian for delivering me out of this darkness 😝
I always try go with the cashier when there is one, people need jobs.
Besides, if you ain't stealing from the self check out, you ain't doin' it right, lol.
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Lol, I’m not a thief at all, but at self checkout registers, I can’t stop myself from stealing every other item. It feels illegal and unAmerican not to.
I hang 95% of the brocli off the scale, for avocados i just select roma tomatoes and weigh them 😉. Use your imagination.
Hilarious.
Man, I just love your comedy. Your way of telling a story is fucking hilarious. Love from the other side of the world. 🇵🇰
Sebastian is THE BEST!!! Love him SO MUCH!
14th comment and I love this comedian especially when someone came to your do 20 years ago and they come to your door now skit.
Mine is the airport and now this one. Good stuff!
@@lucytheliteracylady I like his gas station bit!
Matthew, that’s my favorite one too except he should really say 30 to 40 years ago. Still very funny and so true!
Matthew Stretch .. That one's hillarious too, I love it, it's called " Doorbell " ..
4162, Ima legit going to try that next time without looking at the sticker to see if those are bananas.
Timmy doesn’t even know he’s working…..😂😂
It started with self service gasoline, lol!
Some how it's funny when some one points out what you have already noticed.
Congrats on the Irishman sir❤️
Well done👍🏻
Guy with the artichokes going HUUUHH???
Please do a video about shopping at Walmart during the corona virus thing.
You think I'm waiting for timmy. Timmy done even know he's working
Omg! So true! 😂😂😂😂
“You think I’m gonna wait for Timmy? Timmy doesn’t even know he’s workin!”
I’m actually faster than the cashiers they hire at Walmart even with kids distracting me.
Yeah, but you only deal with one "customer", who you probably think is super charming.
@@hansruedi982 All they have to do is scan. Any skill requirement has been eliminated from the task. I won’t even call it a job. The cashiers of the past were lightning-fast on the ten-key, and pleasantly chatted with the customer at the same time.
Another good grocery store observation is when the plastic wrapping is bunched up over the barcode and it won’t scan, so their pulling and tugging the wrap to get it flat for the barcode scanner... or anything that won’t scan and they have to punch in the whole item number. 🙄🙄😤
I hate how everything rings up for russet potatoes
I LOVE THIS GUY!
Omg.... I work for Walmart.....and this is so true. I’m cracking up
Timmy the bagger! Lmao
He reminds me of kramer and George Constaza from Seinfield...2 good!! 😎👌
I love this guy ! He's so real about life ! His material, timing and way of telling the story is priceless !🇮🇹🇮🇹🇮🇹💙💙💙👍👍👍
OMG....THIS IS MY SICILIAN SIDE OF THE FAMILY!!! Hahahahaha!!!! My dad....would say are you kidding me? And walk out. Lolol. Love Sebastian!