People are saying that they forgive their parents but immediately follow it with a statement of resentment and or neediness When you forgive you also have the power to give yourself what your parents didn’t give you..unconditional love, recognition, acknowledgement, validation...don’t forget to re-plant the seeds after the weeding.
Sheila I found your words liberating and validating. My mother has BPD and as you can well imagine is a very hurtful and difficult person. She is jealous of me and in many ways I feel she tries to punish me for being happy and in a healthy marriage. This video is particularly touching to me because so often in the black communities it is taboo to speak negatively of the mother, which for me only added to the difficulties I experienced. Thank you for your video. Peace
It's really sad that a mom does not take responsibility for elevating her spirit to rise above jealousy for her precious child...you are so right...in the black community it can feel as though anything goes and by all means just love your mother. In reality it does not work that way. I feel if the truth of emotions are suppressed it leads to greater cycles of brokenness..
This message is so powerful. I have a hard time forgiving my father. The hate becomes stronger and stronger every year. I need to let go of this weight cause its not healthy. Thank you for this message. It made me realize that I have to work on releasing the pain.
thank you so much for posting this...i'm trying to see my mom as a young girl hurt just like i did, who coped how she knew.. she did the best she could...ayeyaiyai
Thank you Cory... Inwas set free of my resentments when I accepted and then embraced the reality that everyone- including parents can only live and love to their awareness, capacity, and mental health levels... although it may look bad to us they experience their reality totally different. Xox
I've searched for years on TH-cam for somebody to explain how to forgive and you were the 1st video of thousands that I finally came across that helped me in this area and I truly feel a breakthrough. thank you so much. I immediately subscribed
sheila i just found this today and thankyou for being one of Gods vessels to help free thousands of people from this disease. I now have a new perspective and place to work from. before this i felt as if i were trapped at a cross road. I've chosen to forgive and move on rather than entertain a relationship at this point. This video has helped toward breaking generational curses. I can't thankyou enough for taking the time to film and share this.
Absolutely well done. Forgiveness takes one, but reconciliation takes two. If the transgressor is unrepentant and continues with the harmful and destructive behaviors, the relationship cannot be reconciled.
I came from a very dysfunctional family, who came from a dysfunctional family. I had no parenting skills, period. I did the best I could, which was better than my parents did. My children are doing a better job parenting, because they recognized the power of forgiveness and learning from my short comings. They are overcomers, gamechangers; When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at changes. Set the captive free, that would be the one that harbors unforgivness. Unforgivness is like drinking a cup of poison, and expecting the other person to die. GOD is a very present help in times of trouble, He has been our guide and source of strength in the journey out of the pit of dysfunction.
Xo me too Bibian. I continued to see and feel them walk out of the jail cell and more and more each day I found liberation. It was too much energy to maintain their inmate status. I pray that more and more emotional freedom finds you. You deserve it..xo
I am 50 and have struggled with the thought and action to forgive. I have made myself to become a very lonely unhappy person by hanging on to my trauma. No one has ever explained this visualization of unlocking and letting the offender go from being held captive in my heart. It was emotional but it felt good. I am open and I truly appreciate people of your kind, which is one that has love. Thank you, I have hope. ❤️
Hi, you gave me a new perspective. I will listen to this a few more times until it sinks in. But what I really understood, is: the question of when we are given more than our fair share, what do we do with it? That is interesting because now i see that the person who has more money than he needs is called to share and the person who has received more pain than he/she can maybe handle, ist called to forgive. I can let this sink in. I will listen to this video a few more times. Thank you!
Thank you Sheila. I had a wonderful father but my mother was an adult child of an alcoholic and suffered much anxiety. She was emotionally abusive but I learned to forgive her as she was dying. Your videos are uplifting and phenomenal. God bless you.
Sheila, I am a 20 year old girl and don't have much experience. I've been on my own since 16 years of age, so I grew up very quickly. I have come to a point in my life where I wanted to forgive my parents, I don't know why or how. But I do know now, thank you dearly.
I choose to forgive my mother, but even 6 months after she passed, I still hear her cruel words inside my head. I wish so much I could forget the devastating words she spoke.
RM Smith I don't know what she said to you and I'm sorry she said it. I do know that tormented people have little else to.share than their torment. I would suggest lighting a candle and having a conversation with her in spirit. Just let her know how it made you feel and release all your emotions. She will hear it. GOD will see to that. It's hard to beleive that she was merely working with the tools she had yet that's what it boils down to...Don't lose more days to sadness due to her limitations. Ask for.God's grace and comfort. He will send it.. xoxoxoxo
My dear, you can’t I hear words. …just like you can’t I see what you just saw…but YOU CAN let it all fade away and not focus on it anymore, you can choose to learn to meditate, and learn more positive thoughts…did she ever once say anything decent ?? Anything a bit nice, or resembled niceness ??? If so focus. A LOT on that…keep hearing those nicer tones….
I think a major problem for some is the generation gap as it relates to the willingness of parents to talk openly and honestly about themselves (like we do). They will project onto their offspring all day long but it is tough to get them to realize they're projecting! It's not on their radar at all. I can sit here and admit every faulty aspect of myself but my mother won't admit one thing, it's a tough road! lol Thanks, Sheila.
It's the burden of shame and perfectionism combined. It's sad actually. A person can lie to him or herself all day long yet the truth remains, steadfast, undeniable, ready to liberate all wiling to embrace!
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss my mother lies to my face bc she does not want to accept she dis anything wrong. She says one fhing one day, another the next. It makes me cold on her. I can t see her with compassion as i m disappointed at how far she goes to preserve her image
Greetings from Tunisia!!! Thank you Thank you THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! you totally erased the pain and the burden within my heart!!! I love you soo so soooooooo much !!!! THANKS AGAIN!!!!!! I FINALLY FEEL FREEEEEEEEEEEEE may god bless you!!!
Thank you for this video Sheila I very much appreciate it. I like most am desperately trying to forgive my father and nothing has been harder. I think sometimes I blur the line between forgiving him and forgiving myself. I've spent countless hours in counseling, but was unwilling to fully look at the problem or take my part, so most hours spent were in vein. I blamed everyone else in the world for my world of hurt. I felt as though someone owed me something, but through people like yourself and videos like this I discovered something and you said it as well. It is not my fault for ALL the things that have happened to me in my life, but it is my responsibility to fix them. I know it will not be easy, but it most definitely will be worth it. I believe there is a reason I found this video. So I look forward to more content and advice from you. Take care. "If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change." -Wayne Dyer
I was abused as a child right up to adulthood I met an abuser as a partner I thought this was all I was worth he in turn abused me and then taught his children to do the same do wrong instead of right I left him but he caused a further twenty years of abuse for me how do I forgive this amount of trauma and abuse when it should have been happy it destroyed my entire life and I feel I need justice not for them to b punished but the reality of it resolved in some way to move on as I cannot
I watched this because i'm dealing with some childhood issues with my mum. I did some bad things. She did some bad things. But God loves us all. I just want to learn to forgive her and move on, and hope that she can forgive me and move on. Thanks to Sheila Robinson-kiss for making this video and helping.
I know right. Not that my mother was bad, she made sure we had everything we needed and worked a lot to do that with my father off in jail and blah blah blah which is why I feel even more guilt for feeling like I was emotionally neglected. Thank you for this video! God bless you for the helping work u do! 🙏🥰❤❤
Sheila, i admitt i've avoided this vidio. Thanks to God and healing i see my Mom differently. I had to pray for years to have forgivesness, some for my Dad too. I could'nt think of her without rage. This vidio is deep, gonna listen again, a few times. You are so helpful. God bless & keep you.
Family karma. We all get left with some kind of karmic pattern and cycle that our families, unknowingly and unintentionally, leave for us to break... some families have abuse, some have Incenst and sexual abuse, some are a little less physical and more emotional, they're all hard and as soon as we can ID it, we can start to work on it. And the shitty part is, no one is going to validate anything you think or do with this unless your family is spiritual open and open minded to this truth of all pf our lives. I found the cycle, but it's been generations of building up, so it's going to take equally as much energy to end it. Thank you for helping with this part! ❤ you're a beautiful soul! ❤❤
GosH! Lindsey.. you said it best! It is so damn true. There will be no validation. This is work you do from the soul to save yourself and future generations. Sounds like you are taking a deep dive. Proud of you! I VALIDATE YOU...xo
Thanks very much Sheila for putting out this video on forgiving your parents. It really resonated within my soul & the real powerful message behind it. Especially the point you drove right home, when you said that "All of the seeds of love, beauty, creativity & warmth won't grow in an environment of bitterness & resentment ", if that is an acccurate quote? For me this important statement parallels to your analogy of the story you shared about the man who's garden wouldn't flourish because of the weeds that needed to be uprooted. I have had many weeds & cobwebs holding me back from pursuing a life of happiness & going down a spiritual path of enlightenment. But the hard fact is it is me who has been holding back all along. I sometimes feel in order for me to be free I just need to leave this world completely from the pain & suffering needless to say. Both of my parents are deceased & it has been real hard for me to let go of the hurt & resentment I have felt towards them in the past 5 years. However I am now learning to let all of that go inorder for me to go forward in this life. I had recently found out from my aunt that I have a biological brother that my mother put up for adoption at birth. This is the big secret my mother & father have kept from me during the whole intire time I had known them. My father really had no part in my up bringing to make a long story short. I didn't meet him until I was no more than19 years old. My mother had physically abused me when I was a young child but inspite of all that she did her very best to provide for me a home & shelter. I feel I had made peace with her on her dying day when she had told me she was real sorry for all the hurtful things she had done to me as a child when she was much younger, and that she would have been a better parent to me if she had it to do all over again. I know I have probably said way too much in leaving you a comment, but I also wanted to tell you how much I commend you for the inspiring person you really are and for the work you do. Keep up the good work Sheila.
I am so glad that you received some form of validation from her. It's the lack of validation for the pain that causes people the most problem. It sounds like you have let go of a lot yet there may still be more to things bothering you. The only thing that really helped set me free was realizing enough of my life had been stolen! And knowing that for the rest of my time I didn't want an open wound to stink up my life. Also in an odd way I started to be grateful for the nonsense I endured while coming of age. I see it as a badge of courage and honor now. Having won a war I never chose to be in ...in the first place. I hope God continues to bless you leading you further and further into your freedom! Stay encouarged!
Oh my God, after listening to this video I researched others on the same topic, and couldnt not find the peace that I found in your words anywhere else. Right after watching the video I took a nap, and had the STRANGEST dream of all... I was in between consciousness and dreaming, I was even aware of it , I couldnt move either. Then I felt like winds with the force of a Hurricane coming OUT of my body I felt my legs flapping in the air as well as my arms. Felt my torso trying to take off as well, but since I knew what was going on I controlled with my mind and stayed flat in my bed, i was enjoying the feeling of almost taking off like a rocket through the roof. I heard even demonic voices and slight alucinatorios coming in front of my eyes, but wasnt scared at all about it since I kind of knew what was going on and did not pay attention to the bad side of it. One voice DID caught my attention,, do not recognize the voice from anyone I know, it was spoken with my local native accent , it just said my name really loud, at that moment I knew I had to come to my senses and get up from the nap and start working. Then I researched a bit it was clearly a state of sleep paralysis. Will try to research a bit more about it because now i feel like a huge weight is out of me, I am awake now, completely lucid , taking a break from work and decided to write about my experience. All the resentment is gone for the moment, I say "for the moment" because your video is something that I plan to continue listening to and the excercise of liberating from the prision of my heart all that resentment was really great.. thank you thank you thank you.
so im supposed to forgive my mother and let it go. ive tried that. how can she not acknowledge what she has done to me? i am not responsible for a person who has no memory. i try to forgive and move on but she still does the same things to me. Stealing from me and betraying my trust.
BREEZY D I feel the same way..I almoust destroy myself and my own famely becouse of that! I was hurting big time in my life..but eventualy I said to my self..Will you live or will you die cos of this? We have the power to end suffering we have this choice and when we let it go we free our selfs!! Its a selfish thing almoust,but so hard to do..I beagin to meditate,do yoga and find my peace I dont say that all the problems wanished but when they come I can be more peacful in my heart and soul and can just walk away for some time that I dont loose to much of my energy! You can change youre anger in feeling sad for youre mother cos she is suffering in her heart,so she cant give much more to you than this..the anger is the worst and hard feeling you can carry..feel pity for her ..you cant change her,and you dont need to change youre self also just decide that you dont want to suffer any more and feel youre heart with joy and love and you will spread this love to her and others instead of hate and you will se that life will gert easier in time..you can choose to live happy you have this power in you we all have a choce ..I wish you will take it and free youre self..life is to damn short to waste it and live in anger😊..love&light♡ namaste
For me I realised that this person will never change or acknowledged the damage she done to me. I deserve to be happy. Her problems doesn't have to be mine. I'm Thankful she gave me life but I can't have her in my life. I just cut my relationship with her. Heal myself and not given her more power to hurt me. It's sad and I pray I never be a horrible mother like her. Forgive her for yourself to be free not to have a relationship with her. By keeping yourself in the relationship your give her space and time to keep hurting you. Remove yourself sis. You'll have a own family learn from you parent mistake and do it better ✨
Nejka Lovšin honestly sometimes it feels like it's worth dying for it, I'm currently a minor, and while I know a bit could be of harmones, and everything, it's just been a big change, my mother went polyamorous, and later she changed my dad (my favorite), setting him up with this terrible women, and even my mom says it feels like he's cheating with consequences, and I don't have the heart to tell her but I feel the same way, I hate it, I wish we could go back, some people would say I'm just too judgmental and should be accepting, but I can't stand it, and I'm also a Christian and believe its wrong, my mom's 'christian' too, but honestly she really isn't practicing at all, and that's another thing, but I'm rambling, I just don't I can't forgive them and it feels like hell, I don't know what to do, I've even tried to tell them, which is hard because I don't like hurting them, but my mother always plays the victim card and then my dad gets on to me and tells me to show her more respect, and that it's hard on her as is with the guys she's with, and it feels like I'm powerless, so I just lie, but it's killing me
Your messages here are very enlightening and liberating. Thank you for sharing to the world the key to psychological freedom. Glad I discovered you here. God bless you.
Listen, I could let go and move on with my life but I'm not dealing with my mother because she' was an awful parent and still is. Why do people think that you have to have a relationship with someone in order for you to forgive and be happy! There's plenty of people in the world that just move on with their lives
I know this is from a while ago, but I haven't seen my mom in 6 years or my dad in 11 years. I have forgiven them while simultaneously cutting all contact. So it is possible. I forgave them for my own sanity. It's not my fault my parents were crappy, so I'm not carrying that with me anymore. I'm happy now. I hope you are happy and at peace with everything now.
It's because they don't listen to Jesus. He said to leave your whole earth family behind. They are not your REAL family at all, and especially if they are evil and mean. Nothing we can do can change them........it is lunacy to stay in the situation and allow them to continue to drag you down. Even if you are transcendent, it can still take its toll.
Soferia Nebruin so you should leave your earth family behind even if they are Loving and supportive of you, because Jesus says so? I'm not bashing your views, I'm curious, if this is just the way it is supposed to be if you follow the word of the Lord? I'm not much of a religious person. It does interest me though.
Hazelnut Coffee Dreamer. It's complicated. Very few people understand Jesus's true messages, least of which would be those who call themselves "Christians.:"
That mixed message keeps people in bondage. Often moving on and exiting is THE ONLY WAY TO FORGIVE...People who choose to be horrible parents create their own hell. I firmly beleive they know when they suck as parents and force themselves to waste valuable to making excuses instead of making amends with God and their children!
My problem with people is trying to control them, I had to let them go.Once I relinquished the control, I don’t think of them as much, I loved the aspect of control, not people.
I dont think I will be able to forgive my mom for all the neglect and hurt. Believe me I have definitely tried but I just keep my distance. She has done so much to hurt me and ruin my life that it’s just hard to deal with. I hope one day she realizes everything she has said and done. I hope to continue to listen to this in hopes that I can finally heal.
If you can't forgive them simply release her...this is what I did and the rest fell in place. I dont think we are called to embrace people who have wounded us and not tries to repair the damage. I felt it neccesary to deeply and truly release some family members so that I could enjoy the rest of life free and unburdened by the heavy weight of resentment...today I feel it is between them and God... I'm decent and kind to them and don't do back flips....Happiness is what I was after...so I had to release them..xoxo.. you can too..
This video is exactly what I needed right now at this moment of time in my life. This is what I have been searching for. This is an answer to my prayer in the form of a video and you Sheila Robinson. My prayers are with you and I pray you get the best in this life and the next. I know now how to move forward in my life. Thank you for making these videos because it takes a lot of courage to share compassion in a world like ours.
Thank you Rose...I embrace your feedback and encourage you to simply walk through your process with love and compassion for yourself. You don't need to get everything right...God looks at the heart and will reward your efforts. Thanks for supprting the channel..
It is difficult to forgive parents ... even if I can , d same stressful feeling comes back as whatever I do or I start on any work I need to write names of my parents in every official papers I work with - so things keep coming in my mind - it is really so difficult Sheila 🙂
What I don't get is why messed up adults have children. I made a choice not to,as I know I would mess up my child. Children don't have choice to be born and then have to suffer. I wish I was never born..
The reason I am glad you were born is you have an opportunity to so much better than they did. I waited later in life to have a child because I feared the damage that had been done to me would be passed on. The opposite happened! It was because of the neglect that I became an attentive and responsive mother. Both of my parents have effectively abandoned me over the years. Through consistent prayer the wounds heal and even become something of medals of Valor for having made it through... I pray you see the value in your existence..as far as I'm concerned messed up parents simply serve as the shuttle ride to get us here..then we can shake of the dust of their abuse and have fantastic lives if we desire..xo
I have had fights with my parents since I can remember. I left home in the worst way at 16 and now as a 20 year old I still have a lot of issues with my parents. I still have fights with them most of the time we see each other. I am leaving my country with no intent of coming back in a week. I hope to manage to make all the hate I have for them disappear, but I don't know how.
Thanks for supporting the channel. I had to cut through some serious resentment myself. Honestly what BROKE the choke hold , anger, and upset was observing the beautiful parts of my life getting eaten away. I also started praying to God for release. What came to me through prayer was this..." Everything has to be earned. Love and devotion have to be earned. If someone has not earned our love and devotion- even a parent- then how can they earn our precious energy to spend on hating them. I realize I was giving away vital energy that "I" needed to live a good life. I actually got selfish and wanted more of that energy for my life. Prayer also helped me to see the personal victory of making it through those tough years. It is also helpful to really get everything off your chest in a letter..that you don't have to mail..or an open conversation with God. My problem was resentment over not feeling respected and loved. After I let go I could actually feel the love and regard of the creator flood into my life. The more you fight to let go and move on the more God will show you he is and always will be your mother and father and all the rest of what you require. I know how hard it is and I wish you total freedom.
@SheilaRobinsonKiss do you have any other videos on reconciliation of relationships with parents? Specifically my daughter doesnt want to see me anymore and doesnt want to reconcile and this is the hardest thing Ive ever gone thru as a parent single father. I see tons of vidoes on forgiveness but not on reconcile as much. This video of yours today is good though.
Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this today. Forgiveness is keeping me back from fulfilling my passion and I need to do a lot of work on this. Thank you again, I do feel that I have a place to start thanks to you.
Thanks! I certainly will stay encouraged & will try & help to encourage other people I know as well who are going through the same thing or in a simular situation as mine. It's not all about me after all. Thanks again.☺
I did it! Can’t believe brake down and cry i thought I forgive my mom and the rest of the people who mentally verbally physically hurt me. I love my mom but every time I’m alone I remembered everything I thought I forgot all of that cos I don’t have much memories on my child hood I don’t know why all my memories is short likes a glimps then I don’t remember the rest unless I’m very upset then I will remember it Little by little. Thank u for showing me how to forgive cos I been asking my self that. I hope this is it nobody knows that I’m struggling inside cos my mom and I we ok we’re talking but I don’t really know her and she prolly don’t know me too I moved at their house. I was hoping she will catch up for those years that we not together I was hoping to get so close to her but I feel like there’s always walls anyway that’s another story thank u so much and god bless.
It has really helped me to realize that parents are simply children, who got older, had sex, and created a child...what happened after that depends on levels of maturity and connection to the child....some parents are aware of how important their role is in their children's lives, some are simply checked out due to their own stuff..in either case we can all go on and have wonderful lives, releasing and forgiving them if they have been toxic..we do this work for us, and let God take care of them...remain kind and care for you...
+Lolita A. Pruitt None of the empowerment work to move our lives to higher places is easy. I feel it's worth the climb. Keep climbing. Thank you for stopping by...Warmly,Sheila
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss Thanks for the wise words.can I ask one thing- should we forgive others ( siblings) who hit you hard ( but actually good person) just because they are plotted by mother against you.
I think I can forgive her if I can let go of her forever. She has no boundaries so she seems to want to be very communicative if I seem to start forgiving or letting off the load and then she does it again. How can I forgive and permanently cut her out. I can get over the things that have happened but every time she does it again it’s like starting over. She had never listened to me or heard me. I don’t want to have anything to do with her.
Same. She is hoovering right now using Facebook pictures as her profile picture from Mother’s Day 4 years ago I took her to a fancy tea party and I made us matching tea hats. We are not friends on Facebook so the photos she is tagged in from the past she can still see, but not any of my page that’s not public. GOOD LUCK 💕 Oh BTW she initially blocked me after a temper tantrum about me not letting her live with me , my husband and kids, just because she was afraid to tell my brother to move out of her house. This was also my first REALLY NICE HOUSE! Sooo... she felt entitled. SHE CUT ME OFF FOR SAYING NO 🚩
I've thought about my parent's upbringing. Sorry that does not make me feel any better. They chose the low road alright. People cop out in life. Thanks for posting this video. :)
+Bunzypoo When you're being abused, in the moment of abuse you loose yourself because the abuser takes somethings from you forcibly. Now imagine that happened to your parents, a part of their intellect and spirituality etc was taken from them and something that they themselves don't have the ability to regain and their capacity to give back in a positive was limited. After the abuse you are never the same. In the moment of abuse you don't have a choice. Imagine this is what happened to your parents. Now after that how we cope is our choice but not many people figure it out. Like Sheila said only a limited amount of people in this world can sympathize anymore... You have the choice right right now to see your parents from a limited perspective or to broaden your limited perspective and from your comment it seems you've chosen the low road yourself. However you still have a choice to choose the high road anytime as long as your breathing... Hope my rambling makes sense :P and maybe you're just not ready to forgive as some people are. I hope someday that you will be ready, till then take it easy. Peace and love, my friend.
Bunzypoo I agree. Their actions can not be excused. However to forgive is not for your parents, it's for yourself so that you can move on with your life. If other people do bad things, then we have the choice in the end to follow those people or choose the better path and at the very least try. In my opinion what I got from the video is our parents are human just like us who've made all sorts of mistakes. I'm sure you've made some terrible mistakes in your life but would you like people to hold that against you? Same applies to parents who are people who make mistakes and shouldn't have it held against them by their own children because then the children are the creating a toxic relationship. We can't control what our parents do but we can control our own actions. Forgiveness simply gives you the room to do more good in your life and who wouldn't want that?
+Rose Li I do plenty of good. I don't need some made up word for me to move on with my life. Sorry, you won't convince that "forgiveness" is the way to enlightenment when it comes to my parents. One never forgets, so forgiveness makes no sense in my opinion. It never will. When someone treats you like shit you simply don't hang around that individual.
I'm sorry I don't mean to make you feel like I am trying to convince you. I'm a passionate person and sometimes I come across like that too in conversation. I'm sure you have your own journey and your own experiences and ways to deal and I just wish you the best of luck whatever you choose. I was just concerned about you is all.
I really very much liked this video a whole heck of a lot. I can't tell you how much this has helped me to come to terms with my father who is a Ku Klux Klan member. Now that I have forgiven him for his beliefs and realise that he is just another human being who just happens to think differently to me, after all, this is all part of the rich tapestry of diversity of humans. we have learned to put our differences aside and our relationship has grown stronger & stronger and there is no more hatred towards him, only love. thanks.
Thank you for sending this note. I see you have decided to set your FREE. This made my day. There is a realization that you are an entirely different human being set apart from your father yet able to connect on the touch points that are healthy...I this way you have refused to throw the baby out with the bath water. You will watch you 'baby' as in your relationship grow! Congratulations on your fresh perspective...Warmly, Sheila
I have just watched this video and i'm grateful for it thank you xx however , i'd just like to clarify that whilst forgiving and having the willingness to forgive that doesn't mean i/we have too allow abusive people whether they are our parents or not , in our lives and forgiveness and no contact can walk hand in hand and in fact at times need to be part of our self care and protecting my/our self from further harm or enabling further abuse . I trust you would agree with that Sheila . Many thanks again . God bless you x
I am in full agreement. At times the soul laceration cuts too deep to sit over tea and cake together. Yet we forgive with an acknowledgment that we are both humans doing what we can to make it through this journey- however we won't be traveling this road side by side. Yes we can go our own separate ways in as much peace as possible. No daggers, drama, or double back flips. The healthiest thing for us to do is back off and away... THANKS FOR SUPPRTING THE CHANNEL!
I don't know if it's only me, but I feel like I can't get rid of resentment too easily, when someone hurts me I carry those things within me for so long, I even thought I had forgiven my parents for mistakes made when I was a child, but deep inside I hadn't, and I struggle to get along with them naturally, I always feel like there's something unresolved, it's like I want to show them what they did, but I'm to afraid to cause more damage if I tell them, I'm afraid hurting them and make them feel blame for doing those things.
I just kept sitting with the idea. " my parents have hurt me so deeply! Now here I am still hurting because of them and I'm the only one who can feel this. They are the source of this resentment and I can't give this pain over to them even if I tell them about it..." I did tell them about it and they never changed. I'm happy I spoke up because it helped me see that they were not interested in healing- true healing. The kind were you have to talk things out. I let the hurt flow out of my heart and every chance I get I thank them in spirit. I say thank you to them because they taught me about the power of letting go. I believe that is the lesson they were destined to teach me. I feel the resentment we carry is an extra form of torture we can drop. If we don't it will kill us. Xo Thank you for supporting the channel..
Thank you. "I beg Thy forgiveness, O my God, and implore pardon after the manner Thou wishest Thy servants to direct themselves to Thee. I beg of Thee to wash away our sins as befitteth Thy Lordship, and to forgive me, my parents, and those who in Thy estimation have entered the abode of Thy love in a manner which is worthy of Thy transcendent sovereignty..." ~ Baha'i Faith
I have a hard time forgiving my parents because they abused, neglected, and caused me so much pain and I can't even have happiness as an adult because of the childhood trauma that continues to recycle itself into different relationships it's like my parent's energy comes into the relationship they go from valuing me, to neglecting me. not giving a fuck about me...
Forgiveness is just allowing what is done in past to stay as memory , not as living experience now . Nobody of them has to change , because you are able to feel love , joy , powerful without them . If you want them to change after you forgive them and see you how you forgave them , then you ain't forgiving you just setting them on another Rule " see me now I forgive you so change now for me " , don't you think that's selfish ? Don't you think that is very arrogant? You got food , shalter to survive till now many also good moments and you still want more from your parents? Isn't that arrogant? They did what they know best , if they know better they would do better cause nobody wants to feel bad , we all strive for Feeling good . Idk this video is amazing , today in morning I got food on my kitchen plate and I said thanks god for my mother . She never believe in my dreams , in my capacity for making them , she goes crazy over little things and it's frequently scared and spread that energy around but if I were in her shoes and lived what she lived I would understand that that's one of possible ways I would went too . So I choose to see all amazing gifts I have from my family members , it's my choice . I don't need them to feel free to pursue anything I want to in my life , I don't need them to approve and say "yes" before I express who I m . And on top of all if I need them to do so , I understand it's my need so it must be fixed on my own and not be so selfish and arrogant to drop responsibility on their shoulders above how I feel 🙏
People are saying that they forgive their parents but immediately follow it with a statement of resentment and or neediness
When you forgive you also have the power to give yourself what your parents didn’t give you..unconditional love, recognition, acknowledgement, validation...don’t forget to re-plant the seeds after the weeding.
MaggieMay i felt better when I told my mom I love her no matter what at least she didn’t abandon me
This comment was missed years ago..I'm responding now- thank you. Forgiveness is so important..
Sheila I found your words liberating and validating. My mother has BPD and as you can well imagine is a very hurtful and difficult person. She is jealous of me and in many ways I feel she tries to punish me for being happy and in a healthy marriage. This video is particularly touching to me because so often in the black communities it is taboo to speak negatively of the mother, which for me only added to the difficulties I experienced. Thank you for your video. Peace
It's really sad that a mom does not take responsibility for elevating her spirit to rise above jealousy for her precious child...you are so right...in the black community it can feel as though anything goes and by all means just love your mother. In reality it does not work that way. I feel if the truth of emotions are suppressed it leads to greater cycles of brokenness..
Emily Santos-Poplawski she only wants you to feel her pain, and not feel the shame. Love her unconditional. Love all
Emily 🙏🙏❤️❤️ I'm up at 7am on an off day searching God and how to forgive my mom for yet another situation.
This message is so powerful. I have a hard time forgiving my father. The hate becomes stronger and stronger every year. I need to let go of this weight cause its not healthy. Thank you for this message. It made me realize that I have to work on releasing the pain.
You can let that go today...just walk out of the misery and into your future!
thank you so much for posting this...i'm trying to see my mom as a young girl hurt just like i did, who coped how she knew.. she did the best she could...ayeyaiyai
Thank you Cory... Inwas set free of my resentments when I accepted and then embraced the reality that everyone- including parents can only live and love to their awareness, capacity, and mental health levels... although it may look bad to us they experience their reality totally different. Xox
I've searched for years on TH-cam for somebody to explain how to forgive and you were the 1st video of thousands that I finally came across that helped me in this area and I truly feel a breakthrough. thank you so much. I immediately subscribed
Space lot space and time and and a good therapist for me
Praise God... GO BE FREE AND FLY!!!! xo Thank you for supporting the channel...
sheila i just found this today and thankyou for being one of Gods vessels to help free thousands of people from this disease. I now have a new perspective and place to work from. before this i felt as if i were trapped at a cross road. I've chosen to forgive and move on rather than entertain a relationship at this point. This video has helped toward breaking generational curses. I can't thankyou enough for taking the time to film and share this.
Had to come back for this and once again it is exactly what I needed to hear. Very liberating ❤
Release everyone from the prison of the heart and live your joy to the fullest! xo
Absolutely well done. Forgiveness takes one, but reconciliation takes two. If the transgressor is unrepentant and continues with the harmful and destructive behaviors, the relationship cannot be reconciled.
We must renew and forgive then renew and forgive some more...
I came from a very dysfunctional family, who came from a dysfunctional family. I had no parenting skills, period. I did the best I could, which was better than my parents did. My children are doing a better job parenting, because they recognized the power of forgiveness and learning from my short comings. They are overcomers, gamechangers; When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at changes. Set the captive free, that would be the one that harbors unforgivness. Unforgivness is like drinking a cup of poison, and expecting the other person to die. GOD is a very present help in times of trouble, He has been our guide and source of strength in the journey out of the pit of dysfunction.
Amen
This comment was missed years ago..I'm responding now- thank you. Wishing you more peaceful days.
God bless you abundantly Sheila
Thank you very much. I felt something shift after I unlocked the gate to let my mother, elder sister & Dad out. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Xo me too Bibian. I continued to see and feel them walk out of the jail cell and more and more each day I found liberation. It was too much energy to maintain their inmate status. I pray that more and more emotional freedom finds you. You deserve it..xo
I am 50 and have struggled with the thought and action to forgive. I have made myself to become a very lonely unhappy person by hanging on to my trauma. No one has ever explained this visualization of unlocking and letting the offender go from being held captive in my heart. It was emotional but it felt good. I am open and I truly appreciate people of your kind, which is one that has love. Thank you, I have hope. ❤️
Heather I struggled for years. I finally realized that resentment only affected me... I let it all go. Anyone can... the price is too high....
Hi, you gave me a new perspective. I will listen to this a few more times until it sinks in. But what I really understood, is: the question of when we are given more than our fair share, what do we do with it? That is interesting because now i see that the person who has more money than he needs is called to share and the person who has received more pain than he/she can maybe handle, ist called to forgive. I can let this sink in. I will listen to this video a few more times. Thank you!
God bless all your loved ones and you, dear Sheila. Thank you so much.
Thank you Sheila. I had a wonderful father but my mother was an adult child of an alcoholic and suffered much anxiety. She was emotionally abusive but I learned to forgive her as she was dying. Your videos are uplifting and phenomenal. God bless you.
Always nice to hear from you. What I've learned is we don't have to accept the inheritance of these burdens..
Wow I love what you said “your parents are only apart of you for a certain season” I know for now they just look like regular people
Thank you for sharing this. I had my parents placed on a pedestal.. they are only human...God bless you..
Sheila, I am a 20 year old girl and don't have much experience. I've been on my own since 16 years of age, so I grew up very quickly. I have come to a point in my life where I wanted to forgive my parents, I don't know why or how. But I do know now, thank you dearly.
I choose to forgive my mother, but even 6 months after she passed, I still hear her cruel words inside my head. I wish so much I could forget the devastating words she spoke.
RM Smith I don't know what she said to you and I'm sorry she said it. I do know that tormented people have little else to.share than their torment. I would suggest lighting a candle and having a conversation with her in spirit. Just let her know how it made you feel and release all your emotions. She will hear it. GOD will see to that. It's hard to beleive that she was merely working with the tools she had yet that's what it boils down to...Don't lose more days to sadness due to her limitations. Ask for.God's grace and comfort. He will send it.. xoxoxoxo
My dear, you can’t I hear words. …just like you can’t I see what you just saw…but YOU CAN let it all fade away and not focus on it anymore, you can choose to learn to meditate, and learn more positive thoughts…did she ever once say anything decent ?? Anything a bit nice, or resembled niceness ??? If so focus. A LOT on that…keep hearing those nicer tones….
You are an angel on earth, Ms. Sheila! I wish you were my therapist or mentor. Thank you for this very helpful video.
Such a privilege to hear your Wisdom. Gratitude of your gentle lovingkindness!
What lovely words... I appreciate your support of the channel..xo
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss Blessed! I really get healing from your Platform and ENJOY reading the Comments. Soothing to the psyche in HOPE! 🌿🕊🌿🕊🌿👑👑👑👑
Thank you I am 31 years old...this actually makes a lot of sense.
We must forgive them and move on..xo
or we become bitter souls...
I think a major problem for some is the generation gap as it relates to the willingness of parents to talk openly and honestly about themselves (like we do). They will project onto their offspring all day long but it is tough to get them to realize they're projecting! It's not on their radar at all. I can sit here and admit every faulty aspect of myself but my mother won't admit one thing, it's a tough road! lol Thanks, Sheila.
It's the burden of shame and perfectionism combined. It's sad actually. A person can lie to him or herself all day long yet the truth remains, steadfast, undeniable, ready to liberate all wiling to embrace!
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss my mother lies to my face bc she does not want to accept she dis anything wrong. She says one fhing one day, another the next. It makes me cold on her. I can t see her with compassion as i m disappointed at how far she goes to preserve her image
Greetings from Tunisia!!!
Thank you Thank you THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! you totally erased the pain and the burden within my heart!!! I love you soo so soooooooo much !!!!
THANKS AGAIN!!!!!! I FINALLY FEEL FREEEEEEEEEEEEE
may god bless you!!!
Glory to God for his perfect timing and confirmation. Thank you so much for this video I really needed it 🙏🏽❤️
At 12:24 in his video, I’m reminded that if we feed our faith, our doubts will starve.
Thank you for being here...
Thank you for this video Sheila I very much appreciate it. I like most am desperately trying to forgive my father and nothing has been harder. I think sometimes I blur the line between forgiving him and forgiving myself. I've spent countless hours in counseling, but was unwilling to fully look at the problem or take my part, so most hours spent were in vein. I blamed everyone else in the world for my world of hurt. I felt as though someone owed me something, but through people like yourself and videos like this I discovered something and you said it as well. It is not my fault for ALL the things that have happened to me in my life, but it is my responsibility to fix them. I know it will not be easy, but it most definitely will be worth it. I believe there is a reason I found this video. So I look forward to more content and advice from you. Take care.
"If we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change."
-Wayne Dyer
Wow, i will be listening to this again. I wish I had a mother as thoughtful as you.
I was abused as a child right up to adulthood I met an abuser as a partner I thought this was all I was worth he in turn abused me and then taught his children to do the same do wrong instead of right I left him but he caused a further twenty years of abuse for me how do I forgive this amount of trauma and abuse when it should have been happy it destroyed my entire life and I feel I need justice not for them to b punished but the reality of it resolved in some way to move on as I cannot
I watched this because i'm dealing with some childhood issues with my mum. I did some bad things. She did some bad things. But God loves us all. I just want to learn to forgive her and move on, and hope that she can forgive me and move on. Thanks to Sheila Robinson-kiss for making this video and helping.
You are on the right path. Good for you!
I know right. Not that my mother was bad, she made sure we had everything we needed and worked a lot to do that with my father off in jail and blah blah blah which is why I feel even more guilt for feeling like I was emotionally neglected. Thank you for this video! God bless you for the helping work u do! 🙏🥰❤❤
This is great - thank you for helping us shift our perspective with compassion!
Sheila, i admitt i've avoided this vidio. Thanks to God and healing i see my Mom differently. I had to pray for years to have forgivesness, some for my Dad too. I could'nt think of her without rage. This vidio is deep, gonna listen again, a few times. You are so helpful. God bless & keep you.
I needed this sooo much. Thank you. I will be listening over and over again to this.
Family karma. We all get left with some kind of karmic pattern and cycle that our families, unknowingly and unintentionally, leave for us to break... some families have abuse, some have Incenst and sexual abuse, some are a little less physical and more emotional, they're all hard and as soon as we can ID it, we can start to work on it. And the shitty part is, no one is going to validate anything you think or do with this unless your family is spiritual open and open minded to this truth of all pf our lives. I found the cycle, but it's been generations of building up, so it's going to take equally as much energy to end it. Thank you for helping with this part! ❤ you're a beautiful soul! ❤❤
GosH! Lindsey.. you said it best! It is so damn true. There will be no validation. This is work you do from the soul to save yourself and future generations. Sounds like you are taking a deep dive. Proud of you! I VALIDATE YOU...xo
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss aww thank you!! It means a lot actually. I appreciate you! ❤
Thank you Sheila xxxYour words were so powerful and loving, I cried a few times and released some pain.I wish you abundance and love xxx
Thanks very much Sheila for putting out this video on forgiving your parents. It really resonated within my soul & the real powerful message behind it. Especially the point you drove right home, when you said that "All of the seeds of love, beauty, creativity & warmth won't grow in an environment of bitterness & resentment ", if that is an acccurate quote? For me this important statement parallels to your analogy of the story you shared about the man who's garden wouldn't flourish because of the weeds that needed to be uprooted. I have had many weeds & cobwebs holding me back from pursuing a life of happiness & going down a spiritual path of enlightenment. But the hard fact is it is me who has been holding back all along. I sometimes feel in order for me to be free I just need to leave this world completely from the pain & suffering needless to say.
Both of my parents are deceased & it has been real hard for me to let go of the hurt & resentment I have felt towards them in the past 5 years. However I am now learning to let all of that go inorder for me to go forward in this life.
I had recently found out from my aunt that I have a biological brother that my mother put up for adoption at birth. This is the big secret my mother & father have kept from me during the whole intire time I had known them. My father really had no part in my up bringing to make a long story short. I didn't meet him until I was no more than19 years old.
My mother had physically abused me when I was a young child but inspite of all that she did her very best to provide for me a home & shelter. I feel I had made peace with her on her dying day when she had told me she was real sorry for all the hurtful things she had done to me as a child when she was much younger, and that she would have been a better parent to me if she had it to do all over again.
I know I have probably said way too much in leaving you a comment, but I also wanted to tell you how much I commend you for the inspiring person you really are and for the work you do. Keep up the good work Sheila.
I am so glad that you received some form of validation from her. It's the lack of validation for the pain that causes people the most problem. It sounds like you have let go of a lot yet there may still be more to things bothering you.
The only thing that really helped set me free was realizing enough of my life had been stolen! And knowing that for the rest of my time I didn't want an open wound to stink up my life. Also in an odd way I started to be grateful for the nonsense I endured while coming of age. I see it as a badge of courage and honor now. Having won a war I never chose to be in ...in the first place. I hope God continues to bless you leading you further and further into your freedom! Stay encouarged!
Oh my God, after listening to this video I researched others on the same topic, and couldnt not find the peace that I found in your words anywhere else. Right after watching the video
I took a nap, and had the STRANGEST dream of all... I was in between consciousness and dreaming, I was even aware of it , I couldnt move either. Then I felt like winds with the force of a Hurricane coming OUT of my body I felt my legs flapping in the air as well as my arms. Felt my torso trying to take off as well, but since I knew what was going on I controlled with my mind and stayed flat in my bed, i was enjoying the feeling of almost taking off like a rocket through the roof. I heard even demonic voices and slight alucinatorios coming in front of my eyes, but wasnt scared at all about it since I kind of knew what was going on and did not pay attention to the bad side of it. One voice DID caught my attention,, do not recognize the voice from anyone I know, it was spoken with my local native accent , it just said my name really loud, at that moment I knew I had to come to my senses and get up from the nap and start working. Then I researched a bit it was clearly a state of sleep paralysis. Will try to research a bit more about it because now i feel like a huge weight is out of me, I am awake now, completely lucid , taking a break from work and decided to write about my experience. All the resentment is gone for the moment, I say "for the moment" because your video is something that I plan to continue listening to and the excercise of liberating from the prision of my heart all that resentment was really great.. thank you thank you thank you.
so im supposed to forgive my mother and let it go. ive tried that. how can she not acknowledge what she has done to me? i am not responsible for a person who has no memory. i try to forgive and move on but she still does the same things to me. Stealing from me and betraying my trust.
BREEZY D I feel the same way..I almoust destroy myself and my own famely becouse of that! I was hurting big time in my life..but eventualy I said to my self..Will you live or will you die cos of this? We have the power to end suffering we have this choice and when we let it go we free our selfs!! Its a selfish thing almoust,but so hard to do..I beagin to meditate,do yoga and find my peace I dont say that all the problems wanished but when they come I can be more peacful in my heart and soul and can just walk away for some time that I dont loose to much of my energy! You can change youre anger in feeling sad for youre mother cos she is suffering in her heart,so she cant give much more to you than this..the anger is the worst and hard feeling you can carry..feel pity for her ..you cant change her,and you dont need to change youre self also just decide that you dont want to suffer any more and feel youre heart with joy and love and you will spread this love to her and others instead of hate and you will se that life will gert easier in time..you can choose to live happy you have this power in you we all have a choce ..I wish you will take it and free youre self..life is to damn short to waste it and live in anger😊..love&light♡ namaste
BREEZY D exactly! Some of us wasn't blessed with good parents
For me I realised that this person will never change or acknowledged the damage she done to me. I deserve to be happy. Her problems doesn't have to be mine. I'm Thankful she gave me life but I can't have her in my life. I just cut my relationship with her. Heal myself and not given her more power to hurt me. It's sad and I pray I never be a horrible mother like her. Forgive her for yourself to be free not to have a relationship with her.
By keeping yourself in the relationship your give her space and time to keep hurting you.
Remove yourself sis.
You'll have a own family learn from you parent mistake and do it better ✨
You can transform the relationship.
Nejka Lovšin honestly sometimes it feels like it's worth dying for it, I'm currently a minor, and while I know a bit could be of harmones, and everything, it's just been a big change, my mother went polyamorous, and later she changed my dad (my favorite), setting him up with this terrible women, and even my mom says it feels like he's cheating with consequences, and I don't have the heart to tell her but I feel the same way, I hate it, I wish we could go back, some people would say I'm just too judgmental and should be accepting, but I can't stand it, and I'm also a Christian and believe its wrong, my mom's 'christian' too, but honestly she really isn't practicing at all, and that's another thing, but I'm rambling, I just don't I can't forgive them and it feels like hell, I don't know what to do, I've even tried to tell them, which is hard because I don't like hurting them, but my mother always plays the victim card and then my dad gets on to me and tells me to show her more respect, and that it's hard on her as is with the guys she's with, and it feels like I'm powerless, so I just lie, but it's killing me
Message received. 💞 Thank you, Sheila for sharing these words and video. I forgive my parents. 🙌🏽
We must forgive them because we have been forgiven...and move on..xo
Thank you, Sheila. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you Sheila!
Your messages here are very enlightening and liberating. Thank you for sharing to the world the key to psychological freedom. Glad I discovered you here. God bless you.
Thank you for this kind feedback...as long as people,keep listening I will keep sharing! Stay encouraged. .
Listen, I could let go and move on with my life but I'm not dealing with my mother because she' was an awful parent and still is. Why do people think that you have to have a relationship with someone in order for you to forgive and be happy! There's plenty of people in the world that just move on with their lives
I know this is from a while ago, but I haven't seen my mom in 6 years or my dad in 11 years. I have forgiven them while simultaneously cutting all contact. So it is possible. I forgave them for my own sanity. It's not my fault my parents were crappy, so I'm not carrying that with me anymore. I'm happy now. I hope you are happy and at peace with everything now.
It's because they don't listen to Jesus. He said to leave your whole earth family behind. They are not your REAL family at all, and especially if they are evil and mean. Nothing we can do can change them........it is lunacy to stay in the situation and allow them to continue to drag you down. Even if you are transcendent, it can still take its toll.
Soferia Nebruin so you should leave your earth family behind even if they are Loving and supportive of you, because Jesus says so? I'm not bashing your views, I'm curious, if this is just the way it is supposed to be if you follow the word of the Lord? I'm not much of a religious person. It does interest me though.
Hazelnut Coffee Dreamer. It's complicated. Very few people understand Jesus's true messages, least of which would be those who call themselves "Christians.:"
That mixed message keeps people in bondage. Often moving on and exiting is THE ONLY WAY TO FORGIVE...People who choose to be horrible parents create their own hell. I firmly beleive they know when they suck as parents and force themselves to waste valuable to making excuses instead of making amends with God and their children!
Awesome talk Sheila----thank you for sharing!
God bless you sister. Your message brought so much encouragement and healing to me right now, just what I needed. Thank you
We forgive and move onward... this is power!!
You are just gorgeous Sheila, thank you for sharing x
THANK YOU FOR THIS SHELILA
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sheila.
My problem with people is trying to control them, I had to let them go.Once I relinquished the control, I don’t think of them as much, I loved the aspect of control, not people.
Appreciate your words so very much. Thanks abundantly.
💖
Thankyou so much for this, i was in tears listening to this..truly liberating..keep inspiring and healing..love you ❤️
I am grateful for your advice Mrs. Robinson-Kiss, very encouraging Much Love!
Thank you so much for your support...stay lifted!
+Sheila Robinson-Kiss With you in my corner, I know I will Thanks!
Wow what a beautiful message!💖 God bless you 🙏❤
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! Halfway through and feeling the release 🙌💞💖💃
I dont think I will be able to forgive my mom for all the neglect and hurt. Believe me I have definitely tried but I just keep my distance. She has done so much to hurt me and ruin my life that it’s just hard to deal with. I hope one day she realizes everything she has said and done. I hope to continue to listen to this in hopes that I can finally heal.
If you can't forgive them simply release her...this is what I did and the rest fell in place. I dont think we are called to embrace people who have wounded us and not tries to repair the damage. I felt it neccesary to deeply and truly release some family members so that I could enjoy the rest of life free and unburdened by the heavy weight of resentment...today I feel it is between them and God... I'm decent and kind to them and don't do back flips....Happiness is what I was after...so I had to release them..xoxo.. you can too..
I love you.I lost my mother my world and now left with not a father that could be enough. i was not enough. his journey was so bad I get it ,ore!!
This video is exactly what I needed right now at this moment of time in my life. This is what I have been searching for. This is an answer to my prayer in the form of a video and you Sheila Robinson. My prayers are with you and I pray you get the best in this life and the next. I know now how to move forward in my life. Thank you for making these videos because it takes a lot of courage to share compassion in a world like ours.
Thank you Rose...I embrace your feedback and encourage you to simply walk through your process with love and compassion for yourself. You don't need to get everything right...God looks at the heart and will reward your efforts. Thanks for supprting the channel..
Thank you so much.. I feel that being vulnerable today is neccessary for liberation..xox
It is difficult to forgive parents ... even if I can , d same stressful feeling comes back as whatever I do or I start on any work I need to write names of my parents in every official papers I work with - so things keep coming in my mind - it is really so difficult Sheila 🙂
What I don't get is why messed up adults have children. I made a choice not to,as I know I would mess up my child. Children don't have choice to be born and then have to suffer. I wish I was never born..
The reason I am glad you were born is you have an opportunity to so much better than they did. I waited later in life to have a child because I feared the damage that had been done to me would be passed on. The opposite happened! It was because of the neglect that I became an attentive and responsive mother. Both of my parents have effectively abandoned me over the years. Through consistent prayer the wounds heal and even become something of medals of Valor for having made it through... I pray you see the value in your existence..as far as I'm concerned messed up parents simply serve as the shuttle ride to get us here..then we can shake of the dust of their abuse and have fantastic lives if we desire..xo
Simply, Wow. Amazing! Thank you for shining your light and guiding us dear soul. 🙏✨💪🗣♾🙌🎉♥️
I appreciate you. Thank you for supporting the channel....xo
thank you so much for this---very difficult topic but you did an excellent job of shedding light on the need to forgive
thnak you so much, sheila. you just saved a life.
I have had fights with my parents since I can remember. I left home in the worst way at 16 and now as a 20 year old I still have a lot of issues with my parents. I still have fights with them most of the time we see each other. I am leaving my country with no intent of coming back in a week. I hope to manage to make all the hate I have for them disappear, but I don't know how.
Thanks for supporting the channel. I had to cut through some serious resentment myself. Honestly what BROKE the choke hold , anger, and upset was observing the beautiful parts of my life getting eaten away. I also started praying to God for release. What came to me through prayer was this..." Everything has to be earned. Love and devotion have to be earned. If someone has not earned our love and devotion- even a parent- then how can they earn our precious energy to spend on hating them. I realize I was giving away vital energy that "I" needed to live a good life. I actually got selfish and wanted more of that energy for my life. Prayer also helped me to see the personal victory of making it through those tough years. It is also helpful to really get everything off your chest in a letter..that you don't have to mail..or an open conversation with God. My problem was resentment over not feeling respected and loved. After I let go I could actually feel the love and regard of the creator flood into my life. The more you fight to let go and move on the more God will show you he is and always will be your mother and father and all the rest of what you require. I know how hard it is and I wish you total freedom.
This is very well said and you are right. We live in a different world now
I appreciate your comment.... the reality is its very different!!!
@SheilaRobinsonKiss do you have any other videos on reconciliation of relationships with parents? Specifically my daughter doesnt want to see me anymore and doesnt want to reconcile and this is the hardest thing Ive ever gone thru as a parent single father. I see tons of vidoes on forgiveness but not on reconcile as much. This video of yours today is good though.
@@scottp6761I will post one up this weekend
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss wow awesome
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss cant thank you enough. Grateful I found your channel
Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this today. Forgiveness is keeping me back from fulfilling my passion and I need to do a lot of work on this. Thank you again, I do feel that I have a place to start thanks to you.
You can start anytime and proceed to lasting healing...Thank you for watching!
Thanks! I certainly will stay encouraged & will try & help to encourage other people I know as well who are going through the same thing or in a simular situation as mine. It's not all about me after all. Thanks again.☺
My God this was powerful, thank you for this.
We need to forgive and move on... thank you for being here ! Xo
This was epic for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. God bless you! Please keep making more of these amazing videos! You are making a difference.
Thank you Sheila.. it is gonna be hard but I am sure it is gonna be worth it.
Thank you Sheila, all my love.
You are a true earth angel..god bless you..love&light♡
I did it! Can’t believe brake down and cry i thought I forgive my mom and the rest of the people who mentally verbally physically hurt me. I love my mom but every time I’m alone I remembered everything I thought I forgot all of that cos I don’t have much memories on my child hood I don’t know why all my memories is short likes a glimps then I don’t remember the rest unless I’m very upset then I will remember it Little by little. Thank u for showing me how to forgive cos I been asking my self that. I hope this is it nobody knows that I’m struggling inside cos my mom and I we ok we’re talking but I don’t really know her and she prolly don’t know me too I moved at their house. I was hoping she will catch up for those years that we not together I was hoping to get so close to her but I feel like there’s always walls anyway that’s another story thank u so much and god bless.
It has really helped me to realize that parents are simply children, who got older, had sex, and created a child...what happened after that depends on levels of maturity and connection to the child....some parents are aware of how important their role is in their children's lives, some are simply checked out due to their own stuff..in either case we can all go on and have wonderful lives, releasing and forgiving them if they have been toxic..we do this work for us, and let God take care of them...remain kind and care for you...
Thankyou so much for the powerful message.
WoW...bless you!
The abuse of parents is not easy to get over. Ive been trying to for over 20 yrs and one is decease.
+Lolita A. Pruitt None of the empowerment work to move our lives to higher places is easy. I feel it's worth the climb. Keep climbing. Thank you for stopping by...Warmly,Sheila
This was soooooo good. I’m so glad I found this. Thank you.
I appreciate your support!
Wow! This is so liberating.
Thank you
We all must forgive them if we have been wounded so we can go free.
@@SheilaRobinsonKiss Thanks for the wise words.can I ask one thing- should we forgive others ( siblings) who hit you hard ( but actually good person) just because they are plotted by mother against you.
Thank you. I actually felt immediate relief.
I think I can forgive her if I can let go of her forever. She has no boundaries so she seems to want to be very communicative if I seem to start forgiving or letting off the load and then she does it again. How can I forgive and permanently cut her out. I can get over the things that have happened but every time she does it again it’s like starting over. She had never listened to me or heard me. I don’t want to have anything to do with her.
Tina Vincent Do what feels right and peaceful to you.
Same. She is hoovering right now using Facebook pictures as her profile picture from Mother’s Day 4 years ago I took her to a fancy tea party and I made us matching tea hats. We are not friends on Facebook so the photos she is tagged in from the past she can still see, but not any of my page that’s not public. GOOD LUCK 💕
Oh BTW she initially blocked me after a temper tantrum about me not letting her live with me , my husband and kids, just because she was afraid to tell my brother to move out of her house. This was also my first REALLY NICE HOUSE! Sooo... she felt entitled. SHE CUT ME OFF FOR SAYING NO 🚩
Gods gift you are!!
Thank you 🌻
I've thought about my parent's upbringing. Sorry that does not make me feel any better. They chose the low road alright. People cop out in life. Thanks for posting this video. :)
+Bunzypoo When you're being abused, in the moment of abuse you loose yourself because the abuser takes somethings from you forcibly. Now imagine that happened to your parents, a part of their intellect and spirituality etc was taken from them and something that they themselves don't have the ability to regain and their capacity to give back in a positive was limited. After the abuse you are never the same. In the moment of abuse you don't have a choice. Imagine this is what happened to your parents. Now after that how we cope is our choice but not many people figure it out. Like Sheila said only a limited amount of people in this world can sympathize anymore...
You have the choice right right now to see your parents from a limited perspective or to broaden your limited perspective and from your comment it seems you've chosen the low road yourself.
However you still have a choice to choose the high road anytime as long as your breathing...
Hope my rambling makes sense :P and maybe you're just not ready to forgive as some people are. I hope someday that you will be ready, till then take it easy.
Peace and love, my friend.
+Rose Li I get it. I still don't think it's an excuse. tThere are parents out there that have had it rough but chose to lead differently.
Bunzypoo I agree. Their actions can not be excused. However to forgive is not for your parents, it's for yourself so that you can move on with your life. If other people do bad things, then we have the choice in the end to follow those people or choose the better path and at the very least try.
In my opinion what I got from the video is our parents are human just like us who've made all sorts of mistakes. I'm sure you've made some terrible mistakes in your life but would you like people to hold that against you? Same applies to parents who are people who make mistakes and shouldn't have it held against them by their own children because then the children are the creating a toxic relationship.
We can't control what our parents do but we can control our own actions. Forgiveness simply gives you the room to do more good in your life and who wouldn't want that?
+Rose Li I do plenty of good. I don't need some made up word for me to move on with my life. Sorry, you won't convince that "forgiveness" is the way to enlightenment when it comes to my parents. One never forgets, so forgiveness makes no sense in my opinion. It never will. When someone treats you like shit you simply don't hang around that individual.
I'm sorry I don't mean to make you feel like I am trying to convince you. I'm a passionate person and sometimes I come across like that too in conversation.
I'm sure you have your own journey and your own experiences and ways to deal and I just wish you the best of luck whatever you choose. I was just concerned about you is all.
I really very much liked this video a whole heck of a lot. I can't tell you how much this has helped me to come to terms with my father who is a Ku Klux Klan member. Now that I have forgiven him for his beliefs and realise that he is just another human being who just happens to think differently to me, after all, this is all part of the rich tapestry of diversity of humans. we have learned to put our differences aside and our relationship has grown stronger & stronger and there is no more hatred towards him, only love. thanks.
Thank you for sending this note. I see you have decided to set your FREE. This made my day. There is a realization that you are an entirely different human being set apart from your father yet able to connect on the touch points that are healthy...I this way you have refused to throw the baby out with the bath water. You will watch you 'baby' as in your relationship grow! Congratulations on your fresh perspective...Warmly, Sheila
I have just watched this video and i'm grateful for it thank you xx however , i'd just like to clarify that whilst forgiving and having the willingness to forgive that doesn't mean i/we have too allow abusive people whether they are our parents or not , in our lives and forgiveness and no contact can walk hand in hand and in fact at times need to be part of our self care and protecting my/our self from further harm or enabling further abuse . I trust you would agree with that Sheila . Many thanks again . God bless you x
I am in full agreement. At times the soul laceration cuts too deep to sit over tea and cake together. Yet we forgive with an acknowledgment that we are both humans doing what we can to make it through this journey- however we won't be traveling this road side by side. Yes we can go our own separate ways in as much peace as possible. No daggers, drama, or double back flips. The healthiest thing for us to do is back off and away... THANKS FOR SUPPRTING THE CHANNEL!
Thanks Sheila . I appreciate your response .x
Thakyou Sheila,I love your'e videos,they are a great help to me.God Bless you and thank you
+eileen norris Thank you for your support...
This is so amazing! your video deserve more views and like. It really speaks from the heart of yours. Thank you.
Thanks !
Thank you so much for your valuable information.
I don't know if it's only me, but I feel like I can't get rid of resentment too easily, when someone hurts me I carry those things within me for so long, I even thought I had forgiven my parents for mistakes made when I was a child, but deep inside I hadn't, and I struggle to get along with them naturally, I always feel like there's something unresolved, it's like I want to show them what they did, but I'm to afraid to cause more damage if I tell them, I'm afraid hurting them and make them feel blame for doing those things.
I just kept sitting with the idea. " my parents have hurt me so deeply! Now here I am still hurting because of them and I'm the only one who can feel this. They are the source of this resentment and I can't give this pain over to them even if I tell them about it..." I did tell them about it and they never changed. I'm happy I spoke up because it helped me see that they were not interested in healing- true healing. The kind were you have to talk things out. I let the hurt flow out of my heart and every chance I get I thank them in spirit. I say thank you to them because they taught me about the power of letting go. I believe that is the lesson they were destined to teach me. I feel the resentment we carry is an extra form of torture we can drop. If we don't it will kill us. Xo
Thank you for supporting the channel..
Youre an angel..thank you so much from my deepest heart x.
Tears 😢 thank you. This video has me shook. You are right ✅
We must forgive them and move along... I trust the Lord will balance the scales..xo
Thank you for this!
All I will say is Amen. Great video.
Thank you for sharing your ideas. My life is about to be transformed.. Happy tears 😢💕
So awesome!!!! Xoxo and you're welcome..
Amen. Thank you 🙏
Thank you. "I beg Thy forgiveness, O my God, and implore pardon after the manner Thou wishest Thy servants to direct themselves to Thee. I beg of Thee to wash away our sins as befitteth Thy Lordship, and to forgive me, my parents, and those who in Thy estimation have entered the abode of Thy love in a manner which is worthy of Thy transcendent sovereignty..." ~ Baha'i Faith
I have a hard time forgiving my parents because they abused, neglected, and caused me so much pain and I can't even have happiness as an adult because of the childhood trauma that continues to recycle itself into different relationships it's like my parent's energy comes into the relationship they go from valuing me, to neglecting me. not giving a fuck about me...
Thank you, this video has really helped me.
Forgiving is Very hard. keep Praying that you will Forgive ❤🙏😇
Agreed... it just can feel like we are giving something up. I try to focus on the emotional freedom I'm gaining..God bless you!
Thank you for this perception, I needed that greater view
Thank you so much for this video, beautiful soul ❤
Forgiveness is just allowing what is done in past to stay as memory , not as living experience now . Nobody of them has to change , because you are able to feel love , joy , powerful without them .
If you want them to change after you forgive them and see you how you forgave them , then you ain't forgiving you just setting them on another Rule " see me now I forgive you so change now for me " , don't you think that's selfish ? Don't you think that is very arrogant? You got food , shalter to survive till now many also good moments and you still want more from your parents? Isn't that arrogant? They did what they know best , if they know better they would do better cause nobody wants to feel bad , we all strive for Feeling good .
Idk this video is amazing , today in morning I got food on my kitchen plate and I said thanks god for my mother . She never believe in my dreams , in my capacity for making them , she goes crazy over little things and it's frequently scared and spread that energy around but if I were in her shoes and lived what she lived I would understand that that's one of possible ways I would went too .
So I choose to see all amazing gifts I have from my family members , it's my choice . I don't need them to feel free to pursue anything I want to in my life , I don't need them to approve and say "yes" before I express who I m . And on top of all if I need them to do so , I understand it's my need so it must be fixed on my own and not be so selfish and arrogant to drop responsibility on their shoulders above how I feel 🙏
This comment was missed years ago..I'm responding now- thank you. I really like how you frame this.. powerful...
Thank you. its a wonderful start for me.
Everything starts with a step...Stay encouraged. Thanks for supporting the channel.
Shelia, please do more videos on forgiveness. This was awesome! I love all your videos!
thank you!!!