Dude, the level of punk rock achieved in these stories needs to be a short film. Not even kidding. I never had kids, but I would totally adopt you. I don't know why this makes me verklempt, but holy shit....I feel pride.
A friendly PSA for fellow energy drink/coffee enjoyers regarding the first story: If you like to chug energy drinks like it's going out of style, keep Pepto on hand. Seriously, it is a godsend after 2k mg (or more) caffeine.
The irony goes further considering your last story. Now YOU are the media that not let me escape the thoughts of a similar situation. Thank crust i love irony 😅
You are just so charismatic and funny dude, but even more importantly you also seem like a really good dude. I'm glad you're blowin' up, you absolutely deserve it.
This video gives me so much confidence, I’m a little insecure about my body and worried about the current situation I’m in and also worried if I’m jumping into something out of desperation. …I’m fine! This man’s literally shat a hurricane next to a girl and it didn’t ruin it! :D
Oh duuude me and my friend that used to go out, we got raided by a swat team at 5:45 in the morning and we thought we were gonna get caught for smoking but no, the ex tenant of the flat he was in was a fraudster wanted for like 50k and he was known to be "rather hostile" it was proper embarrassing, they were gonna bash the door down and everything and had a tazer pointed at my guys chest, we gave them all the info we had, they left lol We now share an apartment as best friend and we've got the search warrant framed :)
Talking about universal taunting, I have just recently talked to a friend about how everyone I know gets to (you know what) and I don’t, never even kissed a girl, and this video appears from the heavens to taunt my lack o ‘experiences’
when watching "the freezing fight" I found (and find) this stuff very interesting and In some way it makes me happy. I don't know what to say. THE FACT THAT GIRL CALLED YOU "PAPI" thats crazy.
That worst first date story reminds me of mine. After he picks me up he makes a stop in the middle of nowhere to go smoke weed under a bridge. I waited in the car cuz I don’t smoke lol. The way home he went on a rant about how weed makes great birth control and how he only drinks distilled water cuz the government puts toxins in it. There wasn’t a second date lol.
Not sure how I found your channel but bruh this video is gold lol and man some of your experiences can def relate to lol( yes getting that throw up head is something else !)
Ion know Wether to be envious about you having so many stories to tell and I don’t, or if I should just be happy that I’ve never even gotten close with a woman in the way you did
dude ure funny as fuck i have no clue why uve gone under my radar for so long. been on bit of a binge of ur channel now for a bit and i hope u keep going :'D take it ez
Literally on the first date with a woman I told her I had a little bit of weed in my car and she playfully told me she could get free weed from her dealer if she gave him head real quick. I told her I had to go grab my wallet from my car and drove home.
Man, I feel you deeply. I'm mexican, but I have light brown hair and lighter skin than your average mexican, so I don't qualify to be a Papi either. Also, my ex' family were actual fascist, but not like american AB bald guys but like 1940s tie-and-shirt march-over-the-city fascists, and they liked me a lot because I have a german name. I experienced the exact same situation.
You talk into the camera and not much else and the pitch perfect editing helps but you are a natural for stand up and if you don't look into it I hate you. Hopefully you've gotten out of Idaho and into a place where you can find improv training which I'd think you'd have a ton of fun with it. I think you'd really shine as stand up. If you find an improv group then you're just gonna blow up. A natural ability can be honed into excellence and you sir are ready to jump into that IMHO.
great stories for real, almost makes me want to record my story of the worlds most awkard foot job (im also not a foot fetish guy so thats another level) but cheaters deserve to suffer so you got off easy. youre like 22 you said? ive got like 10 years on ya so honestly dude, you;ll find someone that has all of her positive qualities and doesnt have the cheater trait. if someones willing to cheat WITH you, they will be willing to cheat ON you. dont be fucking stupid.
Damn, these are weirder than some of my date/girlfriend stories. I do have a story that might top these but It didn’t happen to me, it happened to a buddy of mine.
I have to say my funniest wholesome stories both come from people finding out they are Bi while playing a TTRPG. One guy just had a mini panic attack as he realized despite the table being very openly queer. He like started to cry and was like "I like flirting with guys... like I do not think it is just" and we cut him off with "I don't think we give a shit, Goldfeather is dating both the prince and his husband" and then he was just okay because none of us gave a damn. The other is way hotter the guy had the same realization knows my partner and I have an open relationship and asked if next week he could kiss my boyfriend... the next week he did just that. This developed into a complete relationship [let's call it that to stay YT-friendly] he has married a woman and she knows and it has not stopped. Oh, I have a cop one, I had just had sex with my boyfriend and the cops are at my door. I am very drunk and thought it to be somebody I wanted to see as it was 3 AM answered the door totally naked (I could not be viewed from the street, they came round back) and the cops demanded to be let in I said no, get a warrant. They said they had one and they broke down my door. So I started filming. Neither my boyfriend nor I got dressed, we are both piss drunk and just do not have time for this bullshit. I recorded the time (BTW if you can do this... do so record a clock, multiple clocks even) and it turns out they... did not have a warrant. Remember I said stuff about clocks, the first one was spotted at 3:11 AM they had a warrant for a house more than a mile from my house, at 6:47 AM. Yeah, they got sued. I got a new door, new floors, and a new PC because, for the second time, they took a PC from me to search it for drugs.
chapter 3 was hot. I scream when I finish too, and I woke up one day with a letter from all my (80yo) neighbours, saying to not scream and keep it down and stuff, like no biitch, respectfully im gonna enjoy my 20s sorry 😆
Bro that's what you get for assisting in cheating. I do feel kinda strongly about that. Love ain't no excuse, my man. Also, was the woman that called you "papi" of latin-american decent? Because in Spanish that is just a (rather weird) general term of endearment. It doesn't mean "daddy" in any way. Look it up. Not much weirder though than what americans do when they refer to the person the have romantic and sexual feelings towards as "baby" (literally an infant). 😅
if it makes you feel any better the first night my ex wife and i moved in together i shit my pants while we were sleeping, luckily i was sleeping on my stomach so it wasnt quite as bad as it sounds.
“Gallons of Diarrhea” is a perfect death metal or goregrind song title
I'm sure there's a gutalax
So is “fucking a mouth full of bile”
Scatgrind
What about his phrase “going to town on stomach bile”. Can’t tell me that wouldn’t be a hit. 😂
Mincecore
"22 is a long period of time to be alive." *laughs in 32*
Turning 30 this year and feeling like I’ve been alive too long for surrre
Hysterically laughing in almost 42.
@@mallorymaisner GET BUSY LIVING OR GET BUSY DYING. Do one or the other, and do it the best you can.
Laughs in 29, nearly 30
Laughs in 41 (and now my back hurts from chuckling).
You have to do more "story times" this shit was way too hilarious
Tyler 1 - Dignity 0.
the vomit story metal asf lowkey sounds like a cannibal corpse song title
Some extirpating the infected shit. *cough cough* menstrual gourmet *cough cough*
Gutalax
Vomit blow job
Dude, the level of punk rock achieved in these stories needs to be a short film. Not even kidding. I never had kids, but I would totally adopt you. I don't know why this makes me verklempt, but holy shit....I feel pride.
Batman couldn’t get this information out of me brah
The vomit one?? I would have simply died without admitting that.
Second one reminds me of when like 10 minutes into a first date the dude picked a half smoked cigarette off the ground and tried to smoke it
waste not want not, my dude
Probably a weird comment to make on this vid but I seriously love the variety of your channel. Thank you for the fire content
A friendly PSA for fellow energy drink/coffee enjoyers regarding the first story: If you like to chug energy drinks like it's going out of style, keep Pepto on hand. Seriously, it is a godsend after 2k mg (or more) caffeine.
This video is like a rollar coater but it's all the good parts
I always love your videos but this one was an *immaculate* set of tales. Thank you for this gift 😂
The irony goes further considering your last story. Now YOU are the media that not let me escape the thoughts of a similar situation. Thank crust i love irony 😅
You are just so charismatic and funny dude, but even more importantly you also seem like a really good dude. I'm glad you're blowin' up, you absolutely deserve it.
This video gives me so much confidence, I’m a little insecure about my body and worried about the current situation I’m in and also worried if I’m jumping into something out of desperation.
…I’m fine! This man’s literally shat a hurricane next to a girl and it didn’t ruin it! :D
Why did i decide to eat during this😭😭
If you have any more I'd love to hear them, because these were great!
I like your username, nice pfp as well.
Oh duuude me and my friend that used to go out, we got raided by a swat team at 5:45 in the morning and we thought we were gonna get caught for smoking but no, the ex tenant of the flat he was in was a fraudster wanted for like 50k and he was known to be "rather hostile" it was proper embarrassing, they were gonna bash the door down and everything and had a tazer pointed at my guys chest, we gave them all the info we had, they left lol
We now share an apartment as best friend and we've got the search warrant framed :)
How the fuck does a 22 year old manage this many stories???
REAL I'M 22 AND I HAVEN'T HAD SEX ONCE LIKE?????
Your content is so underrated it’s infuriating 😂
Talking about universal taunting, I have just recently talked to a friend about how everyone I know gets to (you know what) and I don’t, never even kissed a girl, and this video appears from the heavens to taunt my lack o ‘experiences’
you're such a real one for this my man
“fucking a mouthful of stomach bile” legitimately sounds like a good debut metal album title. 😂
i like to imagine these were all about the same person
Who needs reddit when this guy is the whole damn top posts all time page
The knocked loose ep in the background 🤌🤌🤌🤌
when watching "the freezing fight" I found (and find) this stuff very interesting and In some way it makes me happy. I don't know what to say. THE FACT THAT GIRL CALLED YOU "PAPI" thats crazy.
Not sure i needed to know all of this.
4:15 “the ol wham bam thank you ma’am” 😂😂😂
That worst first date story reminds me of mine.
After he picks me up he makes a stop in the middle of nowhere to go smoke weed under a bridge. I waited in the car cuz I don’t smoke lol. The way home he went on a rant about how weed makes great birth control and how he only drinks distilled water cuz the government puts toxins in it.
There wasn’t a second date lol.
8:34 okay but why do you look like Adam Driver right here 😭😭
My jaw dropped with Chapter 4
chapter 3 is hilarious dude, hey you earned a sub, god damn
Not sure how I found your channel but bruh this video is gold lol and man some of your experiences can def relate to lol( yes getting that throw up head is something else !)
lol you really are a crustbag XD
Don't ever change
Ion know Wether to be envious about you having so many stories to tell and I don’t, or if I should just be happy that I’ve never even gotten close with a woman in the way you did
I would stop and listen to the divorce too
I love that we glossed over that he walked his dog at 1am
dude ure funny as fuck i have no clue why uve gone under my radar for so long. been on bit of a binge of ur channel now for a bit and i hope u keep going :'D take it ez
Was called a "girthy boy" by this girl I was dating a couple years ago, and it's never left my mind
i love the use of THE building
You are killing it with your content. I wish you great success 🤘
This was gold, thank you, had a solid laugh
Nice vid dude!
Literally on the first date with a woman I told her I had a little bit of weed in my car and she playfully told me she could get free weed from her dealer if she gave him head real quick. I told her I had to go grab my wallet from my car and drove home.
the first story 😭
ITS GAY TIME
Man, I feel you deeply. I'm mexican, but I have light brown hair and lighter skin than your average mexican, so I don't qualify to be a Papi either. Also, my ex' family were actual fascist, but not like american AB bald guys but like 1940s tie-and-shirt march-over-the-city fascists, and they liked me a lot because I have a german name. I experienced the exact same situation.
0:00 more like you just turned shitty poo a few days ago
Great video as always! Xx
You talk into the camera and not much else and the pitch perfect editing helps but you are a natural for stand up and if you don't look into it I hate you. Hopefully you've gotten out of Idaho and into a place where you can find improv training which I'd think you'd have a ton of fun with it. I think you'd really shine as stand up. If you find an improv group then you're just gonna blow up. A natural ability can be honed into excellence and you sir are ready to jump into that IMHO.
Chaotic stories with ATITFOL on your computer background, goated
You have to do more story time videos this is funny af and also thanks for the great content!
Having just learned what “The Less I Know the Better” is about, all those girls using it as their Tinder anthems now seems like a red flag.
what a legend
Damn, I wish I could make my relationship stories funny like this.
Yo, did Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle grow his hair long, dyed it black and became a metal head?
great vid, good vibes
6:47 Himeno would be proud of her
My mans really said i hit that shit somethin serious and laughed at cops about it
all i can say to chapter 5 is youre not alone. its fucking amazing
"Thank you I'm a dude"🤣🤣
Your stories where great I’ve been there with some of them
Funny aa vid, did laugh, 10/10 👍
I was brushing my teeth, watching this on iPad, when you told the shit story.
Ok but The Freezing Fight and Now Is Not The Time would have been killer metal core bands in the early 2000’s
I need that Interdimensional Extinction flag so bad
in the first story he shows great shitmanship
Chapter 4 was 100% a king emesis reference
great stories for real, almost makes me want to record my story of the worlds most awkard foot job (im also not a foot fetish guy so thats another level) but cheaters deserve to suffer so you got off easy. youre like 22 you said? ive got like 10 years on ya so honestly dude, you;ll find someone that has all of her positive qualities and doesnt have the cheater trait. if someones willing to cheat WITH you, they will be willing to cheat ON you. dont be fucking stupid.
Damn, these are weirder than some of my date/girlfriend stories. I do have a story that might top these but It didn’t happen to me, it happened to a buddy of mine.
Why is this shit so funny 💀
The woman thought having alcohol on hand and selling drugs would do the trick. Because that move has never failed once on a woman lol.
can we have links to all the bands music ...
i do kow LIVID !
Every woman I've ever been cheated on me even my ex wife 😂
Such is Life but I'm still kickin it man. Gotta love yourself too.
I want more chaos... M O R E!
I have to say my funniest wholesome stories both come from people finding out they are Bi while playing a TTRPG. One guy just had a mini panic attack as he realized despite the table being very openly queer. He like started to cry and was like "I like flirting with guys... like I do not think it is just" and we cut him off with "I don't think we give a shit, Goldfeather is dating both the prince and his husband" and then he was just okay because none of us gave a damn.
The other is way hotter the guy had the same realization knows my partner and I have an open relationship and asked if next week he could kiss my boyfriend... the next week he did just that. This developed into a complete relationship [let's call it that to stay YT-friendly] he has married a woman and she knows and it has not stopped.
Oh, I have a cop one, I had just had sex with my boyfriend and the cops are at my door. I am very drunk and thought it to be somebody I wanted to see as it was 3 AM answered the door totally naked (I could not be viewed from the street, they came round back) and the cops demanded to be let in I said no, get a warrant.
They said they had one and they broke down my door. So I started filming. Neither my boyfriend nor I got dressed, we are both piss drunk and just do not have time for this bullshit. I recorded the time (BTW if you can do this... do so record a clock, multiple clocks even) and it turns out they... did not have a warrant.
Remember I said stuff about clocks, the first one was spotted at 3:11 AM they had a warrant for a house more than a mile from my house, at 6:47 AM. Yeah, they got sued. I got a new door, new floors, and a new PC because, for the second time, they took a PC from me to search it for drugs.
oh shit deterioration shirt!! i saw them last wednesday
Just remember this. You are already elderly. Time is an illusion, man.
The worst thing is that I'm actually believing you.
ISBTGAT BLOOD INCANTAION POSTER AGH FAVORITE DETAGH METAL BABD MAN LIKR AUSGGAHSHSHDH
It's ok dude we all have some crazy times and you got lots of time for more funny times trust me im 31
I was disappointed with number nine , I was expecting another man 😔
I mean for that fourth one, you just gotta find a girl into emeto I guess
Good job
Aw man there was this one time when this girl I was seeing, never existed.....
22 bro wait till ur 44 and ur bones hurt and your grumpy . 22 man ur life is just starting .
you are my life tyler
did he say his dogs name was Bianca? that's what it sounded like and that's also my dogs name
F
chapter 3 was hot.
I scream when I finish too, and I woke up one day with a letter from all my (80yo) neighbours, saying to not scream and keep it down and stuff, like no biitch, respectfully im gonna enjoy my 20s sorry 😆
fuck dude. hot goth woman cheating story..... hits home.
hits hard.
there should be a fuckin support group.
Holy shit the vomit, these stories did not get better.
How
lol i vomited hard and still got it.. MSI knowledge made them forget i vomed hard.
Hey bud! My homies owns a comedy club in Denver!! Say the word and I'll get you a time slot!!!!!!
Bro that's what you get for assisting in cheating. I do feel kinda strongly about that. Love ain't no excuse, my man.
Also, was the woman that called you "papi" of latin-american decent? Because in Spanish that is just a (rather weird) general term of endearment. It doesn't mean "daddy" in any way. Look it up. Not much weirder though than what americans do when they refer to the person the have romantic and sexual feelings towards as "baby" (literally an infant). 😅
You look like the male version of Hailey Isaak. (Dan corrigans ole lady)
if it makes you feel any better the first night my ex wife and i moved in together i shit my pants while we were sleeping, luckily i was sleeping on my stomach so it wasnt quite as bad as it sounds.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣