As a holistic counsellor I assist DPD clients with a holistic approach and start with a Self Care program. We start to identify their needs, likes and strengths and try to raise their self awareness and self confidence. We then develop boundary setting, assertiveness training and goal setting towards their own dreams and passions.The central goal is to teach clients how to recognise their own needs and then how to meet their needs on their own. I have worked with many clients over at least a 10 week period and have had great results.
I've noticed the almost frozen fear of feeling incompetent compared with others and it's accompanies by am avoidance and wanting to run. I'm wanting to start a small business and I'm so delayed that the procrastination becomes overwhelming and I'm trying to understand this and I've been shown that it stems from parents doing everything for me and coming to my aid when battling with challenges where they did it for me also, my mother would prefer it done her way so that has impacted my confidence with trying new things and if what I've done is good enough. Thank you for this video as it really helps me see deeper and confirms the incompetence fear.
@barbarabills5060: Yes, i have this also. My Mom did everything for me and ran my life and then when it was time for me to grow up and become an adult, i didn't know how to do anything for myself. i also didin't understand the real world or how things work until i became older. I've often been overcome with feelings of helplessness and this has gone on for my entire life. i've also done a lot of different forms of therapy and things have gotten, but the dependency stuff has never completely gone away.
People say they want to help others but in reality all they do is ignoring cluster Cs and As and focusing most of their energy on Bs. They get exactly what they want.
@@mrelooonly one of them is dangerous and that’s the antisocial personality borderline, narcissistic personality and historic personality disorder aren’t dangerous they are just un pleasant. However BPD might be dangerous for the person with it
I wish there were more resources for seeking help with this disorder. I realized that I was both avoidant and dependent only after decades of exhibiting those patterns of behavior--and only after people close to me began to complain about how frequently I consulted them. Looking backward, I realize my mom did a great deal to try and protect me growing up and I suspect that I never truly learned how to cultivate self-esteem. Learning about DPB is intimidating, as I feel like I'm not capable of overcoming the hurdles to become independent. But I suppose I need to remind myself that the disorder is probably shaping what I think is possible and diminishing my own ability to improve my circumstances.
I'm in the same boat or very similar. I was overprotected by my mother and never learned autonomy. I was extremely anxious any time I was separated from her and generally very anxious. Who do you depend on now? I have nobody now and in total crisis. Nobody understands what I'm going through at 50 and unable to care for myself since my partner left and my mother succumbed to alzheimers. I'm expected to care for her now and I'm not able to because I'm in such a state I can't function. Can't eat or sleep and paralysed with anxiety. My shrink is totally unhelpful as are all the meds she keep trying me with.. all I get are terrible side-effects. She won't listen to me, she has made up her mind I'm bpd though she barely knows me. Do you have any medical help or supports of any kind?
@@justinebourke9449I truly hope that you have managed some kind of help by now, as I can't imagine not being capable of some degree of independence. My fiance has a son that'll soon be 20, and the man-child is unbelievable. His mother passed away when he was 9, from health issues that she brought upon herself (obesity and sedimentary lifestyle). From what I've been told, by mutual friends, the woman coddled and spoiled the hell out of him, including no accountability for his poor choices. His father basically allowed this, and continued after her death. His son has the mindset of a 10 y/o, along with an arrogance out of this world. I can't stand to be in his company, so when I am, I just completely ignore him. Some back story here, as I don't want to appear cold and uncaring for such a young person, being a mother of five adult children. Three of my sons are US Marines, with one having recently attained his aerospace/mechanical engineering degrees, all very accomplished young men, including my daughter and my oldest son. The independence that I've instilled in them paid off, whereas they were provided a healthy foundation to grow and build upon. My children witnessed my own independence and strength from early on, as well as a love of education and hard work. When I began dating my fiance, it was a relationship with a few hundred miles in between, and where we would meet up halfway on occasion. The only thing I ever heard from him about his son was that he was shy, but this turned out to be so far from the truth. I've witnessed the boy's blatant disrespect of his father and myself, and at this point I stand firm on giving him no more chances to amend his ways. I've told my fiance that I'm in no rush for marriage, but committed to him, because he is such a caring and overall great guy, OUTSIDE of what he's allowed his son to be.
@@justinebourke9449Hello. I'm glad you shared this with us. I'm in a similar situation, except that I'm also experiencing severe abuse from my narcissistic partner. My father had NPD and my mother was codependent. So I didn't learn autonomy either. The thought of doing things on my own scares me to death. About 3 years ago I was feeling a little better because I had some constructive experiences. After that everything went downhill. I also became addicted to medication. Since then every day has been torture and I have suicidal thoughts several times a day. Nevertheless, I hope things get better. I've been in psychotherapy for about 3 years and even though the therapist is helpful, I often feel misunderstood. What are your experiences with this? How are you doing now? Please don't give up, I'm grateful for every bit of help and happy if I can help in some way. Greetings from Germany :)
my therapist diagnosed me with this disorder 10 years ago, but I am much better now. I remember those days when I needed guidance on every little decision I used to make. Now I am free to decide for myself. I feel free.
Thank you for making this! My DPD is comorbid with Panic Disorder, GAD, and PTSD. Im not currently in treatment due to waiting lists and being discouraged from even applying. Edit 2022: I’ve since my comment was first posted, I went to therapy for a year. It went very well. I learned to use my voice and express my needs, but even still, it can be quite hard and I’ve found that it is very easy to slip back into old patterns. When my therapist told me she wanted me yo seek a professional who specializes in ptsd treatment and cbt, I had a mental break down and had a panic attack. It felt like a breakup. I quickly detached from that person and moved on tho. Today I’m still on waiting lists for a therapist that will suit my needs. I am functioning just fine and am definitely more vocal about my needs than I was before and have been known to stand up for myself and my children after being in treatment. I still do have symptoms from the disorder that I need to learn to manage as well as symptoms from my comorbid diagnoses, but my life is much more fulfilling than it was in the past.
@@aaronwalterryse4281 im so discouraged. Maybe when i get better insurance, ill be lucky to find a doctor that at least specializes in personality disorders.
My short term partner has the same. DPD with panic disorder and PTSD. She latched her happiness onto me without me knowing and then after an argument sent her into a severe depressive episode. She has since left me to seek therapy and help alone. Can you tell me, did u manage to get help and how are you doing now?
I just got diagnosed with this. My mother undermined me my entire life (as did my father, in different ways when he was drunk). Every time I would try and cook or clean or do basic things around the house she would always tell me I did everything wrong. When I got a house in my 20s, she questioned my ability to pay for it and then I had a mental breakdown. I’ve always ended up in abusive relationships, yet, I can’t let go of them even after I have the courage to break up. I break up with abusers bc that’s what society tells me I should do, but the truth is, I never fully leave behind my dependence on them. I never fully diseengage no matter if they’ve hit me, raped me… my need to have reassurance is stronger than my need for respect. I hate having such low self esteem but I really can’t help it. I’m afraid I’ll never find true happiness because of how my mind works. I want to find someone who won’t traumatize me.
Me too. I spent my life in therapy and taking care of my mental health but when I cut people out of my life for toxic behaviors I just find myself alone . Where are the healthy people? lol. I thought I could at least expect my kids not to hurt me but it did not turn out that way. Good luck to you. Remember everyone deserves at least a basic level of respect.
Thank you for this review. This video educated me about this disorder because I was diagnosed with it. I also suffer from panic disorder/agoraphobia, major depression & generalized anxiety along with past substance abuse. I became self-aware 10 years ago of my dependent personality because I kept staying in abusive relationships. I concur regarding the “modest change” because I haven’t changed much since treatment. :(
My short term partner has this issue, she latched her happiness onto me without me realising then when we argued it sent her into a spiral of depression because she felt abandoned. She has since left me to seek help on her own :(
@@adybetambeau9835 r u joking ????! 😢😢😢😢😢😢 u r exactly describing my case and when she left me I am currently seeking medical help, ur comment shocked me 😢😢😢😳
@@dronetheworld4k67 i later found out she has a fearful avoidant attachment style due to childhood trauma. She desperately wants deep connection but is terrified of it. The more she fell in love with me thr more frightened she got. I later found out she purposely caused the situation in which wed argue. The realisation that she couldn't have something good with someone sent her into depression. I stuck around which she really appreciated but she was blowing hot and cold and wouldn't commit. It ended up messing with my mental health badly until eventually we argued again and we havent spoke for 7weeks. Indont expect ill ever hear from her again. Its extremely hard but it gets better. Trust me. Im not over her i still think about her alot but each day i get a bit better and stronger
@@adybetambeau9835 bro I meet someone over the internet she was amazing, never clicked my life with a girl like that, apparently she is too having her issues, but she was young a naive tbh, she eventually left me despite I was NOT showing any signs of neediness to her coz I was genuinely interested in that beautiful but weird creature, I have broke down, collapsed, and been winning like a little baby every time we meet despite nothing necessarily bad happened, also my anxiety was eating me alive every single moment despite she never ignored a single message from me, but I was struggling g to hide it from her, she is obviously not well her own, having Narcissistic traits, possibly shallow and definitely immature (she only turned 22 on our first date), eventually we stopped talking (no one knows what’s going on in her head tbh) and while I was looking up her case online, i stumbled across this video and found about myself 😢 all this time I’ve been taking depression medication and started counselling (due to this short relationship) but apparently depression was only a comorbidity, i litteraly have been through a childhood trauma myself and also have high anxiety, but now I realized am an extremely clingy person and seeking anyone to be in my life coz I can’t survive being alone, when I read ur comment I was litteraly shocked . My god help every single one of us.
I'd love to see you cover one of my own mental illnesses; body dysmorphic disorder. I don't see many people talk about it and I know personally I'm not very good at explaining it. It would be nice to be able to point them to a trusted source!
This describes me to a T, and while I had my share of trauma, a lot of my dependence and lack of self-assurance was conditioned by my mother. She wanted my brother and I to be dependent upon her and to constantly be safe. She has an extremely severe anxiety disorder.
@@sheilacastillo483 My sincerest empathy! I hope you've come to grow into your own person and confidence in yourself. It took me most of my life to do just that and I'm still learning.
@@lotusthemermaid Becoming your own person is hard. I’m still trying to exist despite the fear and uncertainty. I’m really sorry about everything and I sincerely wish you autonomy in your life and hope things come together.
My short term partner has recently separated from me to deal with dependency issues that she has. She said she needs to step back from the relationship until she can learn new coping mechanisms. I respect her decision but can anyome give me any insight to how long this will take. We still talk and see each other in the gym i work at. Im trying to be there for her as a friend but its really hard because i love her
My ex was diagnosed with dpd and traits of npd which is a very interesting combination to research more on because for the victims it can be very confusing and easy for them to use their dpd (vulnerability) in order to manipulate you into staying in the relationship and to think that someone so vulnerable could never be narcissistic. My experience is that this covert way of taking advantage of people is the worst because it takes you a long time to figure it all out and by the time you figure it out pray you're still sane an not completely exhausted.
yeah, it tracks for npd in a few ways in my opinion. If you're validated in your dependence you're 'getting' from a lot of people, or all the people you need at least. i can see how that would embolden an ego, while dpd maintains the need for it.
Check out Dr. Ramani I think she is into NPD and one of the MedCircle video is about DPD where she associates NPD with it but not as a combo. This video was great too from Dr. Grande
my ex this, my ex that. blah blah blah. if you don't like your partner. you have every right to leave them. don't want to bother helping someone with disorder shows what kind of person you are.
i have every symptom for this one. all of them. helps me understand more what I am going through, as i panic when thinking of having to take care of myself without someone else to give me advice and help. ohmygosh.
Hey Dr. Grande! While going over the diagnostic criteria, it seems that you got the 4th criteria mixed up (1:49). You mentioned, "...this isn't due to a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities, but is due to a lack of motivation or energy." The DSM-5-TR actually mentions the opposite to be true - it *is* due to a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities. Love your videos; they have been an awesome resource!
I used to be really anxious to be alone but i have found peace now with it. The tough part is going to socialize again it Also causes anxiety no wonder you start feeling like dissapearing.
This actually helped a lot. I was told I have Dependant Personality Disorder but I wasn't told too much on it, so I decided to look into this more and this helped a lot. Thank you for the content like this.
When I read your definitions of this disorder I felt like you were describing me. I try hard to not let this run my life but it is an uphill battle. I was given up for adoption at birth, fostered for five months and then adopted by a very reclusive, silent, and unaffectionate woman. I was not abused, but I was neglected emotionally. I was a very agreeable child, eager to please. But at the first sign of teenage rebellion I was told; « I can always send you back «. If that wouldn’t make a child feel lost and dependent, I don’t know what would.
@@angelakay9067 Don’t be sad! There are lots of people who have had it worse than me. I am learning, even as I age, to love myself for who I am. What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger ❣️
The level of understanding and knowledge you have for such a broad scope of very complicated subjects always blows me away! And then recalling it all with such speed and ease...
I'm pretty sure I have DPD. I'm going to seek therapy and I hope to be properly diagnosed. But to summarize my symptoms, I have an emotional dependency on my significant other (which used to be turned towards my family members when I was young), a very underdeveloped sense of self, definitely social anxiety, depressive tendencies, I don't have friends, I feel very uncomfortable in social situations and tend to blank and not have much of a conversation to offer in person in social situations, I'll be the person who is there but who doesn't say much, I rarely enjoy myself in social situations but I am more capable of it when a close person like my SO or family member is present, I actually crave experiencing them once in a while but really only if my SO is there. But on my own it's mostly unenjoyable which is why I don't really have friends and don't seek social relations. I spend most of my time home. I used to have bad anxiety at school, was also lonely and unpopular there, and this all drove me to leave school early in life and start working. I've pretty much just jumped from odd jobs to odd jobs, at 37 yrs old I have an office job in a rather good company and I was able to get promoted 1 rank above, but it's been a lot thanks to my SO's pressure to work on it. I have a reasonable salary but still too small to be living comfortably. My SO has a much better job and has been on my ass to find a career that is accessible to me and where I could grow to make more money, but I have no idea what to do and whenever I have a clue on one that sounds like a potential, my online searches always yield results that make it sound very difficult to reach/not guaranteeing the best pay, while other people practicing it get a good pay, so it's contradictory, and I feel overwhelemed and indecisive, and I never pursue any steps to work on it. I don't have a particular passion or hobby, I do have little interests about painting or photography which I tried my hand at a handful of times and enjoyed, but something in me always makes me quit, I don't follow through with the practice, and the technical/skill difficulties I encounter demotivate me easily. I feel like I can't imagine life without my SO, I feel no purpose or will to live without him and since he's all the opposite of me, he's been threatening to leave. He's outgoing, very social, has lots of friends and is always happy to meet new ones, confident, good conversationalist, has a burning passion that he pursues vehemently, a drive, managed to get a well payed job despite not having a degree (in insurance sales, which he tried to have me go into as well, but I'm scared of the sales aspect of it, I hate the idea of having to convince people to buy something, I've experienced jobs around that and sucked at it and hated the pressure). He's ambitious, motivated, passionate, funny, lively, energetic, a go-getter, independent, and I feel like I'm all the opposite, I'm introverted, very dependent, unmotivated, not ambitious the least bit, anxious, low self-esteem... does anybody here think I have DPD? And should I be direct with my therapist when opening our first session and tell them I think I Have DPD, will it help him diagnose me more easily, or will it cloud his judgment? Also with such a mess of a personality, do I have a chance at getting better?
Hi, 9 months later but if you or anyone else sees this: First of all, no one has too messy a personality to find what they need in life. Goals, Accountability, Purpose, Structure. Purpose is where your motivation comes from. What do you like to do? What (not who) brings you the most joy? There has to be SOMETHING. Dogs? Do some dog walking, look into training if you're interested (I did this and it helped me a lot). Whatever it is, think about what you can CREATE out of that. Continuing with the dog example, you could start freelance dog training (I do this), build a client base, get REALLY into it, and make money doing what you love. This is good if you don't think making your passion your job will make it any less rewarding. Alternatively, you can continue searching for a job, and take whatever pays the most that you can live with, and make time for your passion (photography? painting?) outside of the stressors of work. Bottom line is you need to have THINGS you love to do, not just PEOPLE you feel safe and comfortable around. Goals will allow you to TANGIBLY track your progress. Set daily goals, write them in your phone, on a notepad, whatever. Set a longer term goal, write it on a paper you keep near you or that you'll see, or make it your phone's lock screen so you see it throughout the day. Structure (sleep, food, routines) will help you PACE OUT your goals. Set a routine and stick to it. Don't get down on yourself if you miss something, but make sure to do it the next time. It'll get easier as you build new habits, and you will FEEL better. You'll have more energy and your mood will be better if you're waking up around a consistent time, you're eating at the times that work best for you, and you go for a 20 minute walk every afternoon. Structure is hard to implement and stick to. That brings me into accountability. Accountability helps you FOLLOW-THROUGH. There is self-accountability (set reminders on your phone, leave sticky notes, whatever reminds you to stay on track), then there is the accountability you can ask those close to you for. It's wholly and totally okay to tell a close friend, SO, or family member that you believe you're dealing with DPD (or if you're adamant then state that you have it), and explain to them whatever you feel comfortable telling them that could help them understand what's going on in your head. Tell them about your goals, and ASK THEM TO CHECK IN ON YOU. It's okay to need help. You're 37, I'm 26. Whatever. You got a life to live, so put yourself in a position to love it.
I've just found out that I have DPD with BPD. This makes so much sense about the dangerous mistakes I've made n my life. I went straight to your channel to find out more information.
I was recently diagnosed. It's very hard to digest a diagnosis you're not prepared for-but thanks to your very neutral way of presenting topics I would like to say that I did have terrible separation anxiety when I was little! 😅🤗💯🤷🏼♀️ Explanation sadly describes me very very well. I also have MDD,GAD, Insomnia,Disordered eating and PTSD from Almost 20 years now. People have no idea how blessed they are these days to have access to all this wonderful information! God bless you and all your work!
I work with this person. I am 100% sure she has DPD and it is tremendously frustrating for our team. I spent nearly all of 2023 trying to 'help' her with zero success. Most of our team now have empathy exhaustion and we tend to avoid her as much as possible. I would love some advice on how to deal with her in a way that doesn't hurt her feelings, won't get me fired, and can help relieve my own anxiety about having to work with her daily. I've started therapy because of this woman. It's helping me 'overall' and I'd just love your 2 cents!
I finally have figured out what is wrong with me. Thank you! By the way, having a cluster b parent doesn’t help and I would guess is an environmental factor with a strong correlation to this disorder.
I always knew something was wrong with me. And my family did too. So grateful for TH-cam and the dsm5 for confirming I do have this. And I’m with someone who has Histrionic personality disorder which I always thought was narcissism but it didn’t quite fit. I found both our proper diagnoses through the “other possible diagnoses” for narcissism and I’m so glad to feel validated
thank you Dr. Grande. as someone who as struggled with many of these symptoms through all of my relationships in my life, this was very helpful to watch and to start to understand the risks associated with this disorder
I dont know if i have DPD but i have 95% of the symptoms. My wife and i separated and aside from the grief im going through im also terrified of my future. I have never been independent and it scares me to no end to know that it all falls on me. I feel hopeless and im super emotional. I cry almost all the time. Im a 37 yr old man and i feel like a 14 yr old. I have no idea how to take care of my self. I fear homelessness daily. Im always pessimistic. I miss the security that my wife provided me. But mostly i miss her. I feel so lonely.
As a clinician who doesn't do research i would like to say during my work and training people didn't focus on clusters that was not important but diagnosis and treatment were very important.
I am living with D P D along with ADHD and it has been a trial for me with Cluster B’s before I understood,but thanks to you and others videos I have been working on myself in order to identify certain behaviors that I displayed and trying to correct /control them, but as you may know Cluster B’s Don’t want Dependent people to change,they feel like they Own us(no contact 18mos).
I've been diagnosed with dpd and it's so gassed to find anyone who knows anything about it. I feel im motivated, though, but I just can't get myself to do things. I want too, but I just can't.
@@janorhypercleats Check out dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), it's proven to be effective against this type of disorder. I'm about to start treatment for this myself and can't really imagine that I can get better because I have tried so hard for so many years by my own. But healing from trauma and changing behavioral patterns needs to happen in the moments where you interact with others. So I hope this is the way. And personality disorders like this are more dynamic than previously thought. It doesn't really matter if it's incurable - it's still possible to get better, to have a better emotional/functional life. But it takes years of focused practice in daily life while having consultations with a therapist. So try to find a therapist that knows about DBT
I had gotten a diagnosis of this pd in a hospital setting one time. I never really figured out why. I thought it was a joke. I was a in co-dependent relationship though. No one explained. I thought it was because I had a dystonia episode while I was there and literally had to be hauled in because my muscles were so tight I couldn't walk under my own power. It was a "scene" for sure. I think they thought I was making a scene out of some mental personality problem. When you can't use your body all the time, of course, you are counting some upon others at times.
@@RobespierreThePoof I may do that someday. I am not losing any sleep because I knew it was bunk. I had gotten the histrionic label too at the same time. I typically and consciously tried to make my chronic "tin man" appearance as invisible as possible. Not wanting attention drawn to myself. Try doing that in a hospital setting though.
DPD may also not come to light as often because they find a partner who doesn't mind the absolute dependence, in fact expect that, and as long as they function they won't be on the therapy couch. That doesn't mean I don't think it belongs in the DSM because it does, and clinicians need to be ready to identify it more.
DPD is what one girl I befriended may have had. Speaking to her, I could only ever think of one word: "passive". In her 20s yet living with her parents with no hope of living alone. She wasn't weirded out by basically anything we would say to her and would comply with any request. Couldn't manage technology and didn't even own a phone. She also seemed to have a case of erotomania regarding a dead celebrity. She went from being "scared to lose" us to not talking to us at all. Probably avoidant comorbid.
Joshua W. No. Her history was very similar to mine actually, a perfectly fine childhood up until high school, when severe bullying forced us out of our schools and into homeschooling.
What's this obsession with not living with one's parents about... Half of the world lives in multigenerational households, it has been like that for centuries, why would that be indicative of a disorder?
@@amyb7823 I love Dr. Grande! But with all the polar opposite changes and disagreements within the psych. community in only 60 years (vs other medicine) it's why I don't take any of it seriously, since it treats itself as a pseudoscience more often than outsiders to it do. But it's interesting to hear humans try to categorize humans using invisible criteria 😆😁😂
It's not expected that the typical layperson would understand much this video just like the typical layperson would not understand much of a video on the details of nuclear fusion. Believe it or not, there is an abundance of science that supports the veracity of these mental health conditions and their accompanying symptoms which can be very distressing and impairing for many folks. In sum, there are mental health experts who actually know what they are talking about.
Very interesting video, thank you for explaining it. I see this and many people and always wondered about it. It would be great to see a case study with a marriage or relationship
A lot of people with dependent traits end up with narcissists and/or abusers. When we manage to disengage from one of these, the next one may be slightly better or at least better at hiding the abuse in the beginning. Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
Chris Watts was diagnosed with DPD. I wondered if that was correct based upon what I read about it and knowing the case. Your description makes it all make sense. Much of what you described could be applied to him and his actions. Thanks for another great video!
Interesting :) but CW has made decisions. He made 5 crucial decisions. He also lied to cover them up. Because he lied so much it is hard to tell what was really going on in his head. DPD symptoms would not allow determination he felt. I think he manifested DPD symptoms to hide his real feelings, thoughts and intentions for a very very long time... just guessing
I belive my mom have this type of disorder - she was sick since childhood and everybody told her, she is supposed to 'not do this or that' and 'too sick to do this or that'. They tell her that till today, granding her belive she is *entitled* for others to take care of her. From paying bills, until consulting through phone with her sister, 'what should she WEAR next day'. She stopped with THIS LEVEL issues recently, at first trying to gain some 'spine'(as I told her how irrational it is many times), but stress gnawn on her, till she ended falling into paranoia, that everybody is using her and her money, but looks just like breakdown of person with cancer can have... Anyway, she was, since always, OVERdependand, using others not only to cover her from problems, but to hide from results of her own mistakes and wrongdoing, trying to push responsibilities on others. Even her alcoholism she put as responsibility of my father for 'not being anywhere but at work and leaving her lonly'. So, definitely, sounds like her. Ps. I know I keep asking, but it is really interesting for me problem and I NEVER saw ANY psychiatrist/therapist, covering such topic... As person suffering such issue, I will be grateful if You ever will do *how personality of epileptic person can change.* Mostly I will appreciate temporal-frontal ones results, as I belive Your 'insider look' will be VERY enriching and can answer not only mine questions, as some of Your viewers(and, like me, subscribers) will probably be interested, knowing person going through such problem, or facing it themselves... Great job.
@@krisztinakessel6869 It is not fully truth. I am under care of psychologist BECAUSE of my 'Epileptic personality issues' - it is thing of psychologist/psychiatry, as unstable brain waves, with seizures and all, can cause many issues, like obsessions, or anger issues, for example. Depending which lobe seizures involving, how often and intense they are, epilepsy can cause serious psychological issues, starting with depression, some fall into psychosis(like occipital lobe seizures can cause visions, mostly when eyes closed), hypomania, and so on. Long uncured frontal-temporal seizures can cause pseudopsychopathy, even, as brain under theta waves make You more and more emotionally numb... I just put some examples, but, belive me, depending on how serious, epilepsy can be and often IS psychological issue-causing...
I feel like I'm dependent but change fear of taking care of ones self to fear of not having some one to take care of. So co-dependent....oh you just went there.
A friend is exhibiting exactly this disorder. And has fallen pray to a narcissist. This person has given over everything, mind, body, soul and fortune - Total absorption into another’s life with complete disregard for self. Can’t understand why others are concerned.
Substance abuse disorder (drug /alcohol addicts) also have this disorder or severe traits of it... enabling within a narcissistic family unit is riddled with this . The DPD enables you to enable him then hates you for his learned helplessness .
Only found out recently found out i was diagnosed as a Dependent Personality whilst in my local psych hospital last year. I have GAD, Panic Disorder and Social Phobia as well as Depression. After watching this video i feel that should have been diagnosed as having an Avoidant Personality.
My dear niece has BPD but she also has DPD. She knows she has the former but not the latter. To make matters worse her husband has APD. Both have been in therapy and my niece is taking that BPD skills workbook but I can’t help suspect it’s not working and premature. I say premature because it since her DPD has not been acknowledged and she acts it out far more often, it’s making it harder for her to address her BPD. For decades, she had been misdiagnosed with manic depression. Now she is once again being misdiagnosed with an incomplete diagnosis and, for the life of me, I have no way of telling her all this without her getting upset. She in her 40’s and I just can’t see her 10 years from now without her knowing she also has DPD. She will end up with another bitter divorce and much grief. I realize Our mental health providers ore doing their best but it’s not enough. Time is running out for so many people in the same predicament as my niece and her husband. This is not right and I feel so helpless about it.
Great video, thank you. I wonder how are these comparable to attachment styles. Like is DPD an extreme form of anxious-preoccupied attachment? The same with avoidant personality disorder, is it an extension of avoidant attachment?
I do think there is a strong correlation between these cluster C personalities as well as attachment styles. God help you if your a fearful avoidant(disorganized attachment style) a mixture of both anxious and avoidant 😔.
I can sort of see why they wanted to drop DPD because how do you differentiate between dependency being a symptom of a greater personality disorder or not. It makes sense but I wish the disorder was more looked into. While working on my own codependency I’m seeing codependent people everywhere, but there are those who don’t need the “co” to find a way to be dependent and that’s hard for a person to deal with who is working on setting healthier boundaries. I’d love to see a video on dependent parents rather than the codepent ones we are always seeing.
Hi Dr. Grande, Would you consider making a video of a mother-daughter relationship where the mother has DPD? I think this was my situation, and as you said, the literature on this isn't expansive. I'd appreciate your take on the signs a mother has DPD and potential abusive effects on the daughter.
I believe I have DPD and I recognize myself asking for validation or being too pushy with my daughter. My daughter is only 10 and I don't want her to grow up the way I did. What I do is encourage autonomy. I don't hover and I let her make mistakes. I hope you can heal from your past .
Great video, but you did mix up one of the diagnostic criteria:per DSM-5, the difficulty initiating projects on their own IS because of lack of confidence in their ability and NOT because of lack of motivation (you said it in reverse). I wish there was a way to edit that in the video without just re-uplosding the whole thing.
My step-sister has severe DPD. She is so terrified of being alone that she cannot close the toilet door, even when going in a public bathroom. She is incapable of holding down a job. When she finally married and left home to live with her husband (at 35 years old), he had to hire a live in babysitter to look after her every second of the day. She could not even be alone in the car while driving to fetch the children at school 5 minutes away. There is no difficulty confusing her diagnosis. Interestingly, I believe her DPD is a direct result of the trauma caused by her raging, violent, chaotic, unpredictable, histrionic Borderline Personality Disorder mother. Her brother exhibits classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Aside from the panic attacks, aka "hell on earth"; this is another disorder that I can't attach to myself nor any acquaintances. I don't think I've ever known someone like this. Thank you Dr Grande. 👍🌹 I would love to know what causes bodily dysmorphic disorder, and what are the signs/symproms.
Can you do. video explaining what someone w/ AvPD, DPD and OCPD (all 3 disorders comorbid) - what this would look like and how it would affect someone and how it could be treated?
"difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own...not because of lacking self-confidence, but lacking motivation." This part doesn't make sense to me. Is it mixed up?
This is TRUE. I have a sister whom I think suffers form DPD. She's very passive, dependent, and can't function without the help from others. It's so maladaptive that she's dropped out of HS, drifting, went to jail, pregnancies from multiple different fathers. I'm exhausted with her life. 😢
Feels like an odd situation not many clinicians study dpd, so there's not a lot of research. But if they drop it from dsm, even fewer will research it.
I have been searching for a description for so long. My husband...it’s so difficult for me to describe. He has Vulnerable narcissistic traits. But then he’ll prove me wrong by being so repentant of emotional abuse👉🏼👉🏼Abandonment. Ugh. So much.
What do you do if you are the person they depend on ? It's like being chained to a clingy blackhole against your will and having your personal space constantly violated 😢
Dr Grande thank you very much for this presentation. I would like to hear you talking more on this topic and perhaps expanding a bit about DPD and suicide ideation. I do come across those situations at my work often and would like know your opinion on supporting DPD with multiple suicide attempts with either Single session therapy or brief, one off support. Again thank you very much for what you are doing!
I'm not Dr Grande but I'd be wary of the DPP agreeing with whatever you're saying to just get out of there as quickly as possible. That's what I would do. I'd play the cured person to the hilt and then very quietly hightail it out of there at the first chance.
I think there’s a guy on Master Chef who has Dependent Personality Disorder. He frustrates the other contestants but he seems to purposely draw them in or steers them to rescue him to validate his dependence.
Can you do a video on add/adhd in adult men and if untreated, the symptoms that occur, as well as the areas of life/relationships it can impact (and also how this can look)?
Yes would like more info about it too. I recently discovered what I thought was ADHD in my spouse actually fit better with OCPD!! Maybe check into that personality disorder to see if there are similar attributes with ADHD? Good luck!
@@DMWB57 after consultation w professionals on my end (because he refused to get help), the consensus was BPD (along w adhd, depression, anxiety). I hope things are going OK w u and ur spouse 🤗
I think you misspoke. Criterion 4 for DPD in the DSM-5 is due to a lack in self-confidence in judgment or abilities, not a lack of motivation or energy. Otherwise, great video!
I really recognise the symptoms, i must ask my parents about every single basic task I have to do. When im in crowds, I have to ensure that they are around me just like 7 years old kid. It also works to my bestie. I almost enrolled to the same college and took same major that my bestie did even though I wasn't really interested at all with that study.
I grew up the same way. Do you believe your parents have conditioned you to be this way? For example when you were younger and you tried something for the first time. Did your parents criticize and shame you if you failed?
based on your description I might have DPD or the avoidant thing. I think it's because my mother. She always overprotected, controlled me, I'm the only child. It might be because of her overprotectiveness , she always solved my problems, always cared too much, and when I was a teen I didn't have that freedom like my classmates did. anyway.... this developed in me the fear of taking risks, fear of being rejected. I'm pretty social so I don't have problems in communicating with other people, just have some insecurities and some anxiety. donno should I do something about it ? Is this a mental disease ?
I've always had decision anxiety. And when I asked my former psychiatrist who was treating my burn out syndrom, what his guess would be if he where to diagnos me with something (anything) other than burn out syndrome, he told me he was leaning to DPD. I had never heard of it before and I don't think the information on it was that great when googleing it. This video however was great. Now I have bigger problems since I got diagnosed with ME/CFS just yesterday. I have been waiting for a diagnos for over 2 years now. I'm not sure now how I will be able to be diagnosed or treated for DPD if that is what I have, if I at the same time has ME/CFS? Last time I met another psychiatrist he told me they couldn't do a neuropsychriatic evaluation as long as I'm not occupied in a work enviroment at least a few hours a day. With ME/CFS I'll probably never be able to work again?! :S
I have DPD and it has affected my life greatly. I am 31, I live with my mother (I have never lived alone), I don´t have any friends or an education. I don´t know what to do with my life. I wish someone would just tell me what to do.
Here is how you can tell yourself what to do. Keep 2 lists with you. One list is a list of things you want to do or have to do eventually. You keep this first list with you so you can add things to it whenever you think of them. The second list is a list of tasks you assigned yourself for the day based off list one. The trick to making this work is in making the tasks on the second list so simple and small that you are guaranteed to do them. For example, on list one you might have written "clean my house". If your house is messy then that is a huge monotonous task that you won't want to start and will likely overwhelm you and set you up for failure. Instead, choose one shelf in one wardrobe in one room and add tidying that shelf to your list for the day. You have now set yourself up for success because you have something that is so easy it's hard not to do it AND you are making progress. If you have "get a job" on list one you need to break that way down. You need to find a job that suits you, get training and skills in that field bla bla bla. The best way to get a suitable job is to measure your IQ and find what jobs are suitable for someone with that IQ. Not all IQ tests are useful for this purpose so your task to add to your daily list will be to research and find the name of reputable IQ test. Your two tasks for your daily list are clean a shelf and find the name of a reputable IQ test. That should be enough for your first day. The aim is to start very minimal and slowly increase until you find the level you are comfortable with and to keep the momentum going no matter how slow. You will find that the knock on effects from having something structured that is moving you forward will have benefits in almost every aspect of your life. Good luck.
There is no clear limit. One can "have" several personality disorders at the same time, because there is a great overlap between the categories. So if you change your clinician, you might get a similar one, but not exact the same. And over the course of time, once the person leads a life with many critical life events in it and goes to a mental health professional quite regularily, the number of diagnoses will pile up. Hope this was helpful. 🤗
My ex husband fits almost all of these except he swears he can do it on his own, but his actions show otherwise. I think he's too ashamed to admit he's dependent but that's how he truly behaved
I wonder why they left "migration" as one of the aetiological factors out? I'm quite sure, that this is an important one. Is it at least mentioned anywhere? It's great, that you described the history of the disorder too, and the decissions surrounding it. I love controversies, imo they are the most vibrant part of science. Dr. Grande, I constantly have to minimise your vids on my computer. I 'm unable to look at you and think at the same time. It simply doesn't work. Of all the mad people in the world I am the worst.
Id like to hear what it is like to be with someone with this disorder. What it feels like? I recently allowed someone to come with on a mission trip. I usually go by myself because i go to very difficult areas . I grilled this person beforehand, yet after they bought their airline ticket, i began to notice dependancy. I gave two minor small speeches that i dont hand hold and that they must be sharp and keep up. Needless to say, the trip felt like a nightmare for me and the best day was when the last day came because i felt like i could unload them. It was very stressful to be conflicting in a position this person was continually trying to make me responsible for them. No matter how much instruction i gave them, it didn't matter. I felt like i had brought a toddler with. They jeopardized the mission many times. Now, coming back, they act like a pro. I just want distance from this person. I dont want to feel negative about them. I really felt like something was wrong. Thank you for this video. Other people may feel as I do. This person ends up causing people to abandon them. It's too much to put on people. This person is in their fiftys and has a history of being abandon. Said they were extremly sheltered growing up. May have some origin there. Anyway, thanks again!
In the video you state people struggle to do activities due to a lack of motivation and in the descritiopn it states the opposite of what you say in the video and that it is due to a lack of confidence not motivation. Which is correct please? Thanks
As a holistic counsellor I assist DPD clients with a holistic approach and start with a Self Care program. We start to identify their needs, likes and strengths and try to raise their self awareness and self confidence. We then develop boundary setting, assertiveness training and goal setting towards their own dreams and passions.The central goal is to teach clients how to recognise their own needs and then how to meet their needs on their own. I have worked with many clients over at least a 10 week period and have had great results.
I've noticed the almost frozen fear of feeling incompetent compared with others and it's accompanies by am avoidance and wanting to run. I'm wanting to start a small business and I'm so delayed that the procrastination becomes overwhelming and I'm trying to understand this and I've been shown that it stems from parents doing everything for me and coming to my aid when battling with challenges where they did it for me also, my mother would prefer it done her way so that has impacted my confidence with trying new things and if what I've done is good enough. Thank you for this video as it really helps me see deeper and confirms the incompetence fear.
@barbarabills5060: Yes, i have this also. My Mom did everything for me and ran my life and then when it was time for me to grow up and become an adult, i didn't know how to do anything for myself. i also didin't understand the real world or how things work until i became older. I've often been overcome with feelings of helplessness and this has gone on for my entire life. i've also done a lot of different forms of therapy and things have gotten, but the dependency stuff has never completely gone away.
Learned helplessness..
With all the focus on Cluster B personality disorders, it’s so refreshing to hear you cover this topic.
dont u feel the cluster Bs r more dangerous, for the most part...thats why so much attention
mreloo Yes. I like hearing Dr. Grande’s on Cluster Bs and I think it’s great that he delves into other topics, too.
People say they want to help others but in reality all they do is ignoring cluster Cs and As and focusing most of their energy on Bs. They get exactly what they want.
@@mrelooonly one of them is dangerous and that’s the antisocial personality borderline, narcissistic personality and historic personality disorder aren’t dangerous they are just un pleasant. However BPD might be dangerous for the person with it
They are all quite fascinating but not all movie material
I wish there were more resources for seeking help with this disorder. I realized that I was both avoidant and dependent only after decades of exhibiting those patterns of behavior--and only after people close to me began to complain about how frequently I consulted them. Looking backward, I realize my mom did a great deal to try and protect me growing up and I suspect that I never truly learned how to cultivate self-esteem. Learning about DPB is intimidating, as I feel like I'm not capable of overcoming the hurdles to become independent. But I suppose I need to remind myself that the disorder is probably shaping what I think is possible and diminishing my own ability to improve my circumstances.
I'm in the same boat or very similar. I was overprotected by my mother and never learned autonomy. I was extremely anxious any time I was separated from her and generally very anxious.
Who do you depend on now? I have nobody now and in total crisis. Nobody understands what I'm going through at 50 and unable to care for myself since my partner left and my mother succumbed to alzheimers. I'm expected to care for her now and I'm not able to because I'm in such a state I can't function. Can't eat or sleep and paralysed with anxiety.
My shrink is totally unhelpful as are all the meds she keep trying me with.. all I get are terrible side-effects. She won't listen to me, she has made up her mind I'm bpd though she barely knows me.
Do you have any medical help or supports of any kind?
@@justinebourke9449I truly hope that you have managed some kind of help by now, as I can't imagine not being capable of some degree of independence.
My fiance has a son that'll soon be 20, and the man-child is unbelievable. His mother passed away when he was 9, from health issues that she brought upon herself (obesity and sedimentary lifestyle). From what I've been told, by mutual friends, the woman coddled and spoiled the hell out of him, including no accountability for his poor choices. His father basically allowed this, and continued after her death. His son has the mindset of a 10 y/o, along with an arrogance out of this world. I can't stand to be in his company, so when I am, I just completely ignore him.
Some back story here, as I don't want to appear cold and uncaring for such a young person, being a mother of five adult children. Three of my sons are US Marines, with one having recently attained his aerospace/mechanical engineering degrees, all very accomplished young men, including my daughter and my oldest son. The independence that I've instilled in them paid off, whereas they were provided a healthy foundation to grow and build upon. My children witnessed my own independence and strength from early on, as well as a love of education and hard work.
When I began dating my fiance, it was a relationship with a few hundred miles in between, and where we would meet up halfway on occasion. The only thing I ever heard from him about his son was that he was shy, but this turned out to be so far from the truth. I've witnessed the boy's blatant disrespect of his father and myself, and at this point I stand firm on giving him no more chances to amend his ways. I've told my fiance that I'm in no rush for marriage, but committed to him, because he is such a caring and overall great guy, OUTSIDE of what he's allowed his son to be.
@@justinebourke9449Hello. I'm glad you shared this with us. I'm in a similar situation, except that I'm also experiencing severe abuse from my narcissistic partner. My father had NPD and my mother was codependent. So I didn't learn autonomy either. The thought of doing things on my own scares me to death. About 3 years ago I was feeling a little better because I had some constructive experiences. After that everything went downhill. I also became addicted to medication. Since then every day has been torture and I have suicidal thoughts several times a day. Nevertheless, I hope things get better. I've been in psychotherapy for about 3 years and even though the therapist is helpful, I often feel misunderstood. What are your experiences with this? How are you doing now? Please don't give up, I'm grateful for every bit of help and happy if I can help in some way. Greetings from Germany :)
my therapist diagnosed me with this disorder 10 years ago, but I am much better now. I remember those days when I needed guidance on every little decision I used to make. Now I am free to decide for myself. I feel free.
What type of therapy did you receive in order to free yourself from this disorder? I am so happy you’re free to decide anything for yourself!
Can you just type what kind of treatment you got?
Thank you for making this! My DPD is comorbid with Panic Disorder, GAD, and PTSD. Im not currently in treatment due to waiting lists and being discouraged from even applying.
Edit 2022: I’ve since my comment was first posted, I went to therapy for a year. It went very well. I learned to use my voice and express my needs, but even still, it can be quite hard and I’ve found that it is very easy to slip back into old patterns.
When my therapist told me she wanted me yo seek a professional who specializes in ptsd treatment and cbt, I had a mental break down and had a panic attack. It felt like a breakup. I quickly detached from that person and moved on tho.
Today I’m still on waiting lists for a therapist that will suit my needs. I am functioning just fine and am definitely more vocal about my needs than I was before and have been known to stand up for myself and my children after being in treatment. I still do have symptoms from the disorder that I need to learn to manage as well as symptoms from my comorbid diagnoses, but my life is much more fulfilling than it was in the past.
keep trying, in order to get the help you need.
@@aaronwalterryse4281 im so discouraged. Maybe when i get better insurance, ill be lucky to find a doctor that at least specializes in personality disorders.
Nice
My short term partner has the same. DPD with panic disorder and PTSD. She latched her happiness onto me without me knowing and then after an argument sent her into a severe depressive episode.
She has since left me to seek therapy and help alone. Can you tell me, did u manage to get help and how are you doing now?
I pray that you are doing better from when you wrote this comment. Recognizing that you have issues and wanting to heal from it are the first steps.
I just got diagnosed with this. My mother undermined me my entire life (as did my father, in different ways when he was drunk). Every time I would try and cook or clean or do basic things around the house she would always tell me I did everything wrong. When I got a house in my 20s, she questioned my ability to pay for it and then I had a mental breakdown.
I’ve always ended up in abusive relationships, yet, I can’t let go of them even after I have the courage to break up. I break up with abusers bc that’s what society tells me I should do, but the truth is, I never fully leave behind my dependence on them. I never fully diseengage no matter if they’ve hit me, raped me… my need to have reassurance is stronger than my need for respect. I hate having such low self esteem but I really can’t help it. I’m afraid I’ll never find true happiness because of how my mind works. I want to find someone who won’t traumatize me.
my mom does the same to me... wonder if she has some personality disorder
Hey there. Hope you are holding up alright. You can write to me if you ever feel like talking to someone.
Me too. I spent my life in therapy and taking care of my mental health but when I cut people out of my life for toxic behaviors I just find myself alone . Where are the healthy people? lol. I thought I could at least expect my kids not to hurt me but it did not turn out that way. Good luck to you. Remember everyone deserves at least a basic level of respect.
Thank you for this review. This video educated me about this disorder because I was diagnosed with it. I also suffer from panic disorder/agoraphobia, major depression & generalized anxiety along with past substance abuse. I became self-aware 10 years ago of my dependent personality because I kept staying in abusive relationships. I concur regarding the “modest change” because I haven’t changed much since treatment. :(
My short term partner has this issue, she latched her happiness onto me without me realising then when we argued it sent her into a spiral of depression because she felt abandoned. She has since left me to seek help on her own :(
@@adybetambeau9835 r u joking ????! 😢😢😢😢😢😢 u r exactly describing my case and when she left me I am currently seeking medical help, ur comment shocked me 😢😢😢😳
@@dronetheworld4k67 i later found out she has a fearful avoidant attachment style due to childhood trauma. She desperately wants deep connection but is terrified of it. The more she fell in love with me thr more frightened she got. I later found out she purposely caused the situation in which wed argue. The realisation that she couldn't have something good with someone sent her into depression. I stuck around which she really appreciated but she was blowing hot and cold and wouldn't commit. It ended up messing with my mental health badly until eventually we argued again and we havent spoke for 7weeks. Indont expect ill ever hear from her again. Its extremely hard but it gets better. Trust me. Im not over her i still think about her alot but each day i get a bit better and stronger
@@adybetambeau9835 bro I meet someone over the internet she was amazing, never clicked my life with a girl like that, apparently she is too having her issues, but she was young a naive tbh, she eventually left me despite I was NOT showing any signs of neediness to her coz I was genuinely interested in that beautiful but weird creature, I have broke down, collapsed, and been winning like a little baby every time we meet despite nothing necessarily bad happened, also my anxiety was eating me alive every single moment despite she never ignored a single message from me, but I was struggling g to hide it from her, she is obviously not well her own, having Narcissistic traits, possibly shallow and definitely immature (she only turned 22 on our first date), eventually we stopped talking (no one knows what’s going on in her head tbh) and while I was looking up her case online, i stumbled across this video and found about myself 😢 all this time I’ve been taking depression medication and started counselling (due to this short relationship) but apparently depression was only a comorbidity, i litteraly have been through a childhood trauma myself and also have high anxiety, but now I realized am an extremely clingy person and seeking anyone to be in my life coz I can’t survive being alone, when I read ur comment I was litteraly shocked . My god help every single one of us.
This is sad and yet really empowering to see you realize that the relationships were toxic for you. Thank you for sharing.
I'd love to see you cover one of my own mental illnesses; body dysmorphic disorder. I don't see many people talk about it and I know personally I'm not very good at explaining it. It would be nice to be able to point them to a trusted source!
SteviiLove ...I would also be very interested in hearing Dr Grande explain Body Dysmorphic disorder!
I suffer the same. Apparently I'm not nearly as attractive as I thought.
Yes, I have body dysmorphic disorder as well. I can't stand mirrors and I'm afraid to look at videos or photos of myself
@@joycemarie5495 q
This describes me to a T, and while I had my share of trauma, a lot of my dependence and lack of self-assurance was conditioned by my mother. She wanted my brother and I to be dependent upon her and to constantly be safe. She has an extremely severe anxiety disorder.
woah i think we’re the same person. my mother is extremely anxious and i presume indirectly made my brother and i completely dependent on her.
@@sheilacastillo483 My sincerest empathy! I hope you've come to grow into your own person and confidence in yourself. It took me most of my life to do just that and I'm still learning.
@@lotusthemermaid Becoming your own person is hard. I’m still trying to exist despite the fear and uncertainty. I’m really sorry about everything and I sincerely wish you autonomy in your life and hope things come together.
My short term partner has recently separated from me to deal with dependency issues that she has. She said she needs to step back from the relationship until she can learn new coping mechanisms. I respect her decision but can anyome give me any insight to how long this will take.
We still talk and see each other in the gym i work at. Im trying to be there for her as a friend but its really hard because i love her
Imfao same. My Mom is also anxious and wants me to be dependant on her..
My ex was diagnosed with dpd and traits of npd which is a very interesting combination to research more on because for the victims it can be very confusing and easy for them to use their dpd (vulnerability) in order to manipulate you into staying in the relationship and to think that someone so vulnerable could never be narcissistic. My experience is that this covert way of taking advantage of people is the worst because it takes you a long time to figure it all out and by the time you figure it out pray you're still sane an not completely exhausted.
yeah, it tracks for npd in a few ways in my opinion. If you're validated in your dependence you're 'getting' from a lot of people, or all the people you need at least. i can see how that would embolden an ego, while dpd maintains the need for it.
Check out Dr. Ramani I think she is into NPD and one of the MedCircle video is about DPD where she associates NPD with it but not as a combo. This video was great too from Dr. Grande
my ex this, my ex that. blah blah blah. if you don't like your partner. you have every right to leave them. don't want to bother helping someone with disorder shows what kind of person you are.
"The victim". So the person with the PD is always the abuser? After this comment I guess you have been the toxic one.
100% relate to you. I bet we had really similar experiences.
Best video I have ever watched about DPD. Very high quality content. Thank you so very much!!
Can you please cover attachment styles, how they affect relationships and ways to gear yourself towards a healthy attachment style.
i have every symptom for this one. all of them. helps me understand more what I am going through, as i panic when thinking of having to take care of myself without someone else to give me advice and help. ohmygosh.
Hey Dr. Grande! While going over the diagnostic criteria, it seems that you got the 4th criteria mixed up (1:49). You mentioned, "...this isn't due to a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities, but is due to a lack of motivation or energy." The DSM-5-TR actually mentions the opposite to be true - it *is* due to a lack of self-confidence in judgment or abilities. Love your videos; they have been an awesome resource!
I used to be really anxious to be alone but i have found peace now with it.
The tough part is going to socialize again it Also causes anxiety no wonder you start feeling like dissapearing.
I love when I get my notification for your videos. I get to sit down and have a cup of coffee ☕️ and relax. Great way to end a long day.
This actually helped a lot. I was told I have Dependant Personality Disorder but I wasn't told too much on it, so I decided to look into this more and this helped a lot. Thank you for the content like this.
When I read your definitions of this disorder I felt like you were describing me. I try hard to not let this run my life but it is an uphill battle. I was given up for adoption at birth, fostered for five months and then adopted by a very reclusive, silent, and unaffectionate woman. I was not abused, but I was neglected emotionally. I was a very agreeable child, eager to please. But at the first sign of teenage rebellion I was told; « I can always send you back «. If that wouldn’t make a child feel lost and dependent, I don’t know what would.
Sending heart hugs.
@@karenabbott5974 Thank you❣️
Your story made me sad, I hope you are doing well now. Emotional neglect is abuse!
@@angelakay9067 Don’t be sad! There are lots of people who have had it worse than me. I am learning, even as I age, to love myself for who I am. What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger ❣️
I'm so glad you are doing well. You deserve happiness, and your emotional intelligence and self growth are remarkable. Thanks for the reply.
The level of understanding and knowledge you have for such a broad scope of very complicated subjects always blows me away! And then recalling it all with such speed and ease...
I seriously feel smarter after watching one of your videos ☺️
I'm pretty sure I have DPD. I'm going to seek therapy and I hope to be properly diagnosed. But to summarize my symptoms, I have an emotional dependency on my significant other (which used to be turned towards my family members when I was young), a very underdeveloped sense of self, definitely social anxiety, depressive tendencies, I don't have friends, I feel very uncomfortable in social situations and tend to blank and not have much of a conversation to offer in person in social situations, I'll be the person who is there but who doesn't say much, I rarely enjoy myself in social situations but I am more capable of it when a close person like my SO or family member is present, I actually crave experiencing them once in a while but really only if my SO is there. But on my own it's mostly unenjoyable which is why I don't really have friends and don't seek social relations. I spend most of my time home. I used to have bad anxiety at school, was also lonely and unpopular there, and this all drove me to leave school early in life and start working. I've pretty much just jumped from odd jobs to odd jobs, at 37 yrs old I have an office job in a rather good company and I was able to get promoted 1 rank above, but it's been a lot thanks to my SO's pressure to work on it. I have a reasonable salary but still too small to be living comfortably. My SO has a much better job and has been on my ass to find a career that is accessible to me and where I could grow to make more money, but I have no idea what to do and whenever I have a clue on one that sounds like a potential, my online searches always yield results that make it sound very difficult to reach/not guaranteeing the best pay, while other people practicing it get a good pay, so it's contradictory, and I feel overwhelemed and indecisive, and I never pursue any steps to work on it. I don't have a particular passion or hobby, I do have little interests about painting or photography which I tried my hand at a handful of times and enjoyed, but something in me always makes me quit, I don't follow through with the practice, and the technical/skill difficulties I encounter demotivate me easily. I feel like I can't imagine life without my SO, I feel no purpose or will to live without him and since he's all the opposite of me, he's been threatening to leave. He's outgoing, very social, has lots of friends and is always happy to meet new ones, confident, good conversationalist, has a burning passion that he pursues vehemently, a drive, managed to get a well payed job despite not having a degree (in insurance sales, which he tried to have me go into as well, but I'm scared of the sales aspect of it, I hate the idea of having to convince people to buy something, I've experienced jobs around that and sucked at it and hated the pressure). He's ambitious, motivated, passionate, funny, lively, energetic, a go-getter, independent, and I feel like I'm all the opposite, I'm introverted, very dependent, unmotivated, not ambitious the least bit, anxious, low self-esteem... does anybody here think I have DPD? And should I be direct with my therapist when opening our first session and tell them I think I Have DPD, will it help him diagnose me more easily, or will it cloud his judgment? Also with such a mess of a personality, do I have a chance at getting better?
Hi, 9 months later but if you or anyone else sees this:
First of all, no one has too messy a personality to find what they need in life.
Goals, Accountability, Purpose, Structure.
Purpose is where your motivation comes from. What do you like to do? What (not who) brings you the most joy? There has to be SOMETHING. Dogs? Do some dog walking, look into training if you're interested (I did this and it helped me a lot). Whatever it is, think about what you can CREATE out of that.
Continuing with the dog example, you could start freelance dog training (I do this), build a client base, get REALLY into it, and make money doing what you love. This is good if you don't think making your passion your job will make it any less rewarding.
Alternatively, you can continue searching for a job, and take whatever pays the most that you can live with, and make time for your passion (photography? painting?) outside of the stressors of work.
Bottom line is you need to have THINGS you love to do, not just PEOPLE you feel safe and comfortable around.
Goals will allow you to TANGIBLY track your progress. Set daily goals, write them in your phone, on a notepad, whatever. Set a longer term goal, write it on a paper you keep near you or that you'll see, or make it your phone's lock screen so you see it throughout the day.
Structure (sleep, food, routines) will help you PACE OUT your goals. Set a routine and stick to it. Don't get down on yourself if you miss something, but make sure to do it the next time. It'll get easier as you build new habits, and you will FEEL better. You'll have more energy and your mood will be better if you're waking up around a consistent time, you're eating at the times that work best for you, and you go for a 20 minute walk every afternoon.
Structure is hard to implement and stick to. That brings me into accountability.
Accountability helps you FOLLOW-THROUGH. There is self-accountability (set reminders on your phone, leave sticky notes, whatever reminds you to stay on track), then there is the accountability you can ask those close to you for.
It's wholly and totally okay to tell a close friend, SO, or family member that you believe you're dealing with DPD (or if you're adamant then state that you have it), and explain to them whatever you feel comfortable telling them that could help them understand what's going on in your head. Tell them about your goals, and ASK THEM TO CHECK IN ON YOU. It's okay to need help.
You're 37, I'm 26. Whatever. You got a life to live, so put yourself in a position to love it.
I've just found out that I have DPD with BPD. This makes so much sense about the dangerous mistakes I've made n my life. I went straight to your channel to find out more information.
I believe this is called quiet borderline personality disorder when it’s DPD+BPD
I was recently diagnosed. It's very hard to digest a diagnosis you're not prepared for-but thanks to your very neutral way of presenting topics I would like to say that I did have terrible separation anxiety when I was little! 😅🤗💯🤷🏼♀️ Explanation sadly describes me very very well. I also have MDD,GAD, Insomnia,Disordered eating and PTSD from Almost 20 years now. People have no idea how blessed they are these days to have access to all this wonderful information! God bless you and all your work!
Thanks for covering this cluster c disorder. Appreciate you Dr. G
I work with this person. I am 100% sure she has DPD and it is tremendously frustrating for our team. I spent nearly all of 2023 trying to 'help' her with zero success. Most of our team now have empathy exhaustion and we tend to avoid her as much as possible. I would love some advice on how to deal with her in a way that doesn't hurt her feelings, won't get me fired, and can help relieve my own anxiety about having to work with her daily. I've started therapy because of this woman. It's helping me 'overall' and I'd just love your 2 cents!
I have BPD, DPD, and anxiety, with some traits of paranoid PD. I’m in therapy and WILL heal from this 💪🏼🌸
I finally have figured out what is wrong with me. Thank you! By the way, having a cluster b parent doesn’t help and I would guess is an environmental factor with a strong correlation to this disorder.
For sure! The comorbidity with CPTSD is there for a reason.
I always knew something was wrong with me. And my family did too. So grateful for TH-cam and the dsm5 for confirming I do have this. And I’m with someone who has Histrionic personality disorder which I always thought was narcissism but it didn’t quite fit. I found both our proper diagnoses through the “other possible diagnoses” for narcissism and I’m so glad to feel validated
thank you Dr. Grande. as someone who as struggled with many of these symptoms through all of my relationships in my life, this was very helpful to watch and to start to understand the risks associated with this disorder
6/8 points, yep it all makes sense. I was abandoned 2 days after I was born 😭
Well at least you didn’t remember it when it happened
I dont know if i have DPD but i have 95% of the symptoms. My wife and i separated and aside from the grief im going through im also terrified of my future. I have never been independent and it scares me to no end to know that it all falls on me. I feel hopeless and im super emotional. I cry almost all the time. Im a 37 yr old man and i feel like a 14 yr old. I have no idea how to take care of my self. I fear homelessness daily. Im always pessimistic. I miss the security that my wife provided me. But mostly i miss her. I feel so lonely.
Thank u very much for covering this. I want to help her out but the more i do, the more dependent she becomes.
As a clinician who doesn't do research i would like to say during my work and training people didn't focus on clusters that was not important but diagnosis and treatment were very important.
I am living with D P D along with ADHD and it has been a trial for me with Cluster B’s before I understood,but thanks to you and others videos I have been working on myself in order to identify certain behaviors that I displayed and trying to correct /control them, but as you may know Cluster B’s Don’t want Dependent people to change,they feel like they Own us(no contact 18mos).
My life with DPD, adhd and ptsd .
I've been diagnosed with dpd and it's so gassed to find anyone who knows anything about it. I feel im motivated, though, but I just can't get myself to do things. I want too, but I just can't.
same, its really frustrating
Just keep relying on your usefulness
Yes, I've been diagnosed with DPT. I don't know how or where to get treatment for it! And I read on the internet that it can't be cured! Wonderful!
@@janorhypercleats Check out dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), it's proven to be effective against this type of disorder. I'm about to start treatment for this myself and can't really imagine that I can get better because I have tried so hard for so many years by my own. But healing from trauma and changing behavioral patterns needs to happen in the moments where you interact with others. So I hope this is the way. And personality disorders like this are more dynamic than previously thought. It doesn't really matter if it's incurable - it's still possible to get better, to have a better emotional/functional life. But it takes years of focused practice in daily life while having consultations with a therapist. So try to find a therapist that knows about DBT
I agree there is very little information available for those of us who struggle with dpd.
Wow, so impressed, you know your (stuff) so well, my goodness. Thank you for that
I have been enjoying watching your videos! They give me a quick and comprehensive guide on my clinical work, especially I'm still a trainee!
Excellent video. I'm currently working with two men who check off ever box for DPD . Thank you
I had gotten a diagnosis of this pd in a hospital setting one time. I never really figured out why. I thought it was a joke. I was a in co-dependent relationship though. No one explained. I thought it was because I had a dystonia episode while I was there and literally had to be hauled in because my muscles were so tight I couldn't walk under my own power. It was a "scene" for sure. I think they thought I was making a scene out of some mental personality problem. When you can't use your body all the time, of course, you are counting some upon others at times.
@@RobespierreThePoof I may do that someday. I am not losing any sleep because I knew it was bunk. I had gotten the histrionic label too at the same time. I typically and consciously tried to make my chronic "tin man" appearance as invisible as possible. Not wanting attention drawn to myself. Try doing that in a hospital setting though.
DPD may also not come to light as often because they find a partner who doesn't mind the absolute dependence, in fact expect that, and as long as they function they won't be on the therapy couch. That doesn't mean I don't think it belongs in the DSM because it does, and clinicians need to be ready to identify it more.
DPD is what one girl I befriended may have had. Speaking to her, I could only ever think of one word: "passive". In her 20s yet living with her parents with no hope of living alone. She wasn't weirded out by basically anything we would say to her and would comply with any request. Couldn't manage technology and didn't even own a phone. She also seemed to have a case of erotomania regarding a dead celebrity. She went from being "scared to lose" us to not talking to us at all. Probably avoidant comorbid.
A history of childhood trauma?
Joshua W. No. Her history was very similar to mine actually, a perfectly fine childhood up until high school, when severe bullying forced us out of our schools and into homeschooling.
What's this obsession with not living with one's parents about... Half of the world lives in multigenerational households, it has been like that for centuries, why would that be indicative of a disorder?
@@vivvpprof exactly.
Maybe she just didn’t like you guys lmao
How about Normal Personality Disorder? How long can a person stay normal before life happens to them?
😂 I had to laugh when I read this. It does seem like just about everybody has aspects of all these personality disorders.
@@amyb7823 I love Dr. Grande! But with all the polar opposite changes and disagreements within the psych. community in only 60 years (vs other medicine) it's why I don't take any of it seriously, since it treats itself as a pseudoscience more often than outsiders to it do. But it's interesting to hear humans try to categorize humans using invisible criteria 😆😁😂
Lol
It's not expected that the typical layperson would understand much this video just like the typical layperson would not understand much of a video on the details of nuclear fusion. Believe it or not, there is an abundance of science that supports the veracity of these mental health conditions and their accompanying symptoms which can be very distressing and impairing for many folks. In sum, there are mental health experts who actually know what they are talking about.
I want to develop this disorder. 🤣
Very interesting video, thank you for explaining it. I see this and many people and always wondered about it. It would be great to see a case study with a marriage or relationship
A lot of people with dependent traits end up with narcissists and/or abusers. When we manage to disengage from one of these, the next one may be slightly better or at least better at hiding the abuse in the beginning. Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
I wonder if avoidant and dependent can to varying degrees be cyclical, and if highly so how similarly it and BPD might present.
Chris Watts was diagnosed with DPD. I wondered if that was correct based upon what I read about it and knowing the case. Your description makes it all make sense. Much of what you described could be applied to him and his actions. Thanks for another great video!
Interesting :) but CW has made decisions. He made 5 crucial decisions. He also lied to cover them up. Because he lied so much it is hard to tell what was really going on in his head. DPD symptoms would not allow determination he felt. I think he manifested DPD symptoms to hide his real feelings, thoughts and intentions for a very very long time... just guessing
Interesting as always! Thank you Dr Grande.
I belive my mom have this type of disorder - she was sick since childhood and everybody told her, she is supposed to 'not do this or that' and 'too sick to do this or that'.
They tell her that till today, granding her belive she is *entitled* for others to take care of her. From paying bills, until consulting through phone with her sister, 'what should she WEAR next day'.
She stopped with THIS LEVEL issues recently, at first trying to gain some 'spine'(as I told her how irrational it is many times), but stress gnawn on her, till she ended falling into paranoia, that everybody is using her and her money, but looks just like breakdown of person with cancer can have...
Anyway, she was, since always, OVERdependand, using others not only to cover her from problems, but to hide from results of her own mistakes and wrongdoing, trying to push responsibilities on others. Even her alcoholism she put as responsibility of my father for 'not being anywhere but at work and leaving her lonly'.
So, definitely, sounds like her.
Ps. I know I keep asking, but it is really interesting for me problem and I NEVER saw ANY psychiatrist/therapist, covering such topic...
As person suffering such issue, I will be grateful if You ever will do
*how personality of epileptic person can change.*
Mostly I will appreciate temporal-frontal ones results, as I belive Your 'insider look' will be VERY enriching and can answer not only mine questions, as some of Your viewers(and, like me, subscribers) will probably be interested, knowing person going through such problem, or facing it themselves...
Great job.
Epilepsy is not a problem psychologist or psychiatrist will be familiar with. See a neurologist maybe
@@krisztinakessel6869 It is not fully truth. I am under care of psychologist BECAUSE of my 'Epileptic personality issues' - it is thing of psychologist/psychiatry, as unstable brain waves, with seizures and all, can cause many issues, like obsessions, or anger issues, for example. Depending which lobe seizures involving, how often and intense they are, epilepsy can cause serious psychological issues, starting with depression, some fall into psychosis(like occipital lobe seizures can cause visions, mostly when eyes closed), hypomania, and so on.
Long uncured frontal-temporal seizures can cause pseudopsychopathy, even, as brain under theta waves make You more and more emotionally numb...
I just put some examples, but, belive me, depending on how serious, epilepsy can be and often IS psychological issue-causing...
Thank you for this video, Dr. Grande.
I feel like I'm dependent but change fear of taking care of ones self to fear of not having some one to take care of. So co-dependent....oh you just went there.
8:01 five factor of personality.
Neurotic - mine always high . Am working on this .
Side symptoms - insomniac.
A friend is exhibiting exactly this disorder. And has fallen pray to a narcissist. This person has given over everything, mind, body, soul and fortune - Total absorption into another’s life with complete disregard for self. Can’t understand why others are concerned.
Substance abuse disorder (drug /alcohol addicts) also have this disorder or severe traits of it... enabling within a narcissistic family unit is riddled with this . The DPD enables you to enable him then hates you for his learned helplessness .
So what’s the better role, doing the substances or owning the person doing them?
Only found out recently found out i was diagnosed as a Dependent Personality whilst in my local psych hospital last year. I have GAD, Panic Disorder and Social Phobia as well as Depression. After watching this video i feel that should have been diagnosed as having an Avoidant Personality.
So interesting. Thank you for giving me something to think about.
Thank you Dr Grande, very helpful.
Can you do a video on under-researched mental disorders, personality or otherwise? I think that would be super interesting!
What a fun video. I learned so much . Thank you
Very interesting as always x
Thank you, this was short and insightful.
My dear niece has BPD but she also has DPD. She knows she has the former but not the latter. To make matters worse her husband has APD. Both have been in therapy and my niece is taking that BPD skills workbook but I can’t help suspect it’s not working and premature. I say premature because it since her DPD has not been acknowledged and she acts it out far more often, it’s making it harder for her to address her BPD. For decades, she had been misdiagnosed with manic depression. Now she is once again being misdiagnosed with an incomplete diagnosis and, for the life of me, I have no way of telling her all this without her getting upset. She in her 40’s and I just can’t see her 10 years from now without her knowing she also has DPD. She will end up with another bitter divorce and much grief. I realize Our mental health providers ore doing their best but it’s not enough. Time is running out for so many people in the same predicament as my niece and her husband. This is not right and I feel so helpless about it.
Great video, thank you. I wonder how are these comparable to attachment styles. Like is DPD an extreme form of anxious-preoccupied attachment? The same with avoidant personality disorder, is it an extension of avoidant attachment?
I do think there is a strong correlation between these cluster C personalities as well as attachment styles. God help you if your a fearful avoidant(disorganized attachment style) a mixture of both anxious and avoidant 😔.
I can sort of see why they wanted to drop DPD because how do you differentiate between dependency being a symptom of a greater personality disorder or not. It makes sense but
I wish the disorder was more looked into. While working on my own codependency I’m seeing codependent people everywhere, but there are those who don’t need the “co” to find a way to be dependent and that’s hard for a person to deal with who is working on setting healthier boundaries. I’d love to see a video on dependent parents rather than the codepent ones we are always seeing.
What is DPD axis 2 Dr Grande, only just heard of this ..many thanks
Hi Dr. Grande, Would you consider making a video of a mother-daughter relationship where the mother has DPD? I think this was my situation, and as you said, the literature on this isn't expansive. I'd appreciate your take on the signs a mother has DPD and potential abusive effects on the daughter.
I believe I have DPD and I recognize myself asking for validation or being too pushy with my daughter. My daughter is only 10 and I don't want her to grow up the way I did. What I do is encourage autonomy. I don't hover and I let her make mistakes. I hope you can heal from your past .
Mother daughter relationship seems to be a trend. Very enlightening to come across this info.
DPD is not abusive at all 😅
@@sprashyhd2929it can be if the DPD pairs with a NPD partner and thr child has to witness it
Great video, but you did mix up one of the diagnostic criteria:per DSM-5, the difficulty initiating projects on their own IS because of lack of confidence in their ability and NOT because of lack of motivation (you said it in reverse). I wish there was a way to edit that in the video without just re-uplosding the whole thing.
My step-sister has severe DPD. She is so terrified of being alone that she cannot close the toilet door, even when going in a public bathroom. She is incapable of holding down a job. When she finally married and left home to live with her husband (at 35 years old), he had to hire a live in babysitter to look after her every second of the day. She could not even be alone in the car while driving to fetch the children at school 5 minutes away. There is no difficulty confusing her diagnosis. Interestingly, I believe her DPD is a direct result of the trauma caused by her raging, violent, chaotic, unpredictable, histrionic Borderline Personality Disorder mother. Her brother exhibits classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Aside from the panic attacks, aka "hell on earth"; this is another disorder that I can't attach to myself nor any acquaintances. I don't think I've ever known someone like this. Thank you Dr Grande. 👍🌹
I would love to know what causes bodily dysmorphic disorder, and what are the signs/symproms.
Can you do. video explaining what someone w/ AvPD, DPD and OCPD (all 3 disorders comorbid) - what this would look like and how it would affect someone and how it could be treated?
"difficulty initiating projects or doing things on their own...not because of lacking self-confidence, but lacking motivation."
This part doesn't make sense to me. Is it mixed up?
This is TRUE. I have a sister whom I think suffers form DPD. She's very passive, dependent, and can't function without the help from others. It's so maladaptive that she's dropped out of HS, drifting, went to jail, pregnancies from multiple different fathers. I'm exhausted with her life. 😢
Feels like an odd situation not many clinicians study dpd, so there's not a lot of research. But if they drop it from dsm, even fewer will research it.
I have been searching for a description for so long. My husband...it’s so difficult for me to describe. He has Vulnerable narcissistic traits. But then he’ll prove me wrong by being so repentant of emotional abuse👉🏼👉🏼Abandonment. Ugh. So much.
What do you do if you are the person they depend on ? It's like being chained to a clingy blackhole against your will and having your personal space constantly violated 😢
1:44 shouldnt this be that this isnt because of a lack of motivation but because of a lack of confidence? Accidentaly switched these two?
Dr Grande thank you very much for this presentation. I would like to hear you talking more on this topic and perhaps expanding a bit about DPD and suicide ideation. I do come across those situations at my work often and would like know your opinion on supporting DPD with multiple suicide attempts with either Single session therapy or brief, one off support. Again thank you very much for what you are doing!
I'm not Dr Grande but I'd be wary of the DPP agreeing with whatever you're saying to just get out of there as quickly as possible. That's what I would do. I'd play the cured person to the hilt and then very quietly hightail it out of there at the first chance.
Nicely explained
curious what the bold differences between DPD & Avoidance PD are ....
well he mentioned a lot of them
I think there’s a guy on Master Chef who has Dependent Personality Disorder. He frustrates the other contestants but he seems to purposely draw them in or steers them to rescue him to validate his dependence.
Can you do a video on add/adhd in adult men and if untreated, the symptoms that occur, as well as the areas of life/relationships it can impact (and also how this can look)?
Yes would like more info about it too. I recently discovered what I thought was ADHD in my spouse actually fit better with OCPD!! Maybe check into that personality disorder to see if there are similar attributes with ADHD? Good luck!
@@DMWB57 after consultation w professionals on my end (because he refused to get help), the consensus was BPD (along w adhd, depression, anxiety). I hope things are going OK w u and ur spouse 🤗
I think you misspoke. Criterion 4 for DPD in the DSM-5 is due to a lack in self-confidence in judgment or abilities, not a lack of motivation or energy. Otherwise, great video!
I really recognise the symptoms, i must ask my parents about every single basic task I have to do. When im in crowds, I have to ensure that they are around me just like 7 years old kid. It also works to my bestie. I almost enrolled to the same college and took same major that my bestie did even though I wasn't really interested at all with that study.
I grew up the same way. Do you believe your parents have conditioned you to be this way? For example when you were younger and you tried something for the first time. Did your parents criticize and shame you if you failed?
Thank you Dr. Médico.
I appreciate the knowledge you share. What is your area of expertise?
DPD and APD sound like ends of a spectrum. In a similar way to how BPD and NPD are 2 ends of a spectrum.
based on your description I might have DPD or the avoidant thing. I think it's because my mother. She always overprotected, controlled me, I'm the only child. It might be because of her overprotectiveness , she always solved my problems, always cared too much, and when I was a teen I didn't have that freedom like my classmates did. anyway.... this developed in me the fear of taking risks, fear of being rejected. I'm pretty social so I don't have problems in communicating with other people, just have some insecurities and some anxiety. donno should I do something about it ? Is this a mental disease ?
I've always had decision anxiety. And when I asked my former psychiatrist who was treating my burn out syndrom, what his guess would be if he where to diagnos me with something (anything) other than burn out syndrome, he told me he was leaning to DPD. I had never heard of it before and I don't think the information on it was that great when googleing it. This video however was great.
Now I have bigger problems since I got diagnosed with ME/CFS just yesterday. I have been waiting for a diagnos for over 2 years now. I'm not sure now how I will be able to be diagnosed or treated for DPD if that is what I have, if I at the same time has ME/CFS? Last time I met another psychiatrist he told me they couldn't do a neuropsychriatic evaluation as long as I'm not occupied in a work enviroment at least a few hours a day. With ME/CFS I'll probably never be able to work again?! :S
Excellent video
I have DPD and it has affected my life greatly. I am 31, I live with my mother (I have never lived alone), I don´t have any friends or an education. I don´t know what to do with my life. I wish someone would just tell me what to do.
💜
Try studying psychology at community college
step 1: detach self from parental units
@@PaulBosMusic well step one would be education to get a job. Can't separate from parents without it
Here is how you can tell yourself what to do. Keep 2 lists with you. One list is a list of things you want to do or have to do eventually. You keep this first list with you so you can add things to it whenever you think of them. The second list is a list of tasks you assigned yourself for the day based off list one. The trick to making this work is in making the tasks on the second list so simple and small that you are guaranteed to do them. For example, on list one you might have written "clean my house". If your house is messy then that is a huge monotonous task that you won't want to start and will likely overwhelm you and set you up for failure. Instead, choose one shelf in one wardrobe in one room and add tidying that shelf to your list for the day. You have now set yourself up for success because you have something that is so easy it's hard not to do it AND you are making progress. If you have "get a job" on list one you need to break that way down. You need to find a job that suits you, get training and skills in that field bla bla bla. The best way to get a suitable job is to measure your IQ and find what jobs are suitable for someone with that IQ. Not all IQ tests are useful for this purpose so your task to add to your daily list will be to research and find the name of reputable IQ test. Your two tasks for your daily list are clean a shelf and find the name of a reputable IQ test. That should be enough for your first day. The aim is to start very minimal and slowly increase until you find the level you are comfortable with and to keep the momentum going no matter how slow. You will find that the knock on effects from having something structured that is moving you forward will have benefits in almost every aspect of your life. Good luck.
Thank you for video, I think I may have this
*How many disorders can one person have?* (Just to be clear, I am 100% serious in asking this question)
There is no clear limit. One can "have" several personality disorders at the same time, because there is a great overlap between the categories. So if you change your clinician, you might get a similar one, but not exact the same. And over the course of time, once the person leads a life with many critical life events in it and goes to a mental health professional quite regularily, the number of diagnoses will pile up. Hope this was helpful. 🤗
You are like the real life Frasier Crane 👍👍
Can you do a video on the psychological components behind misanthropy?
Super helpful.
My ex husband fits almost all of these except he swears he can do it on his own, but his actions show otherwise. I think he's too ashamed to admit he's dependent but that's how he truly behaved
So yeah I totally have dependent personality disorder. I'm completely alone in the world and I am falling apart.
You need to do your disorder correctly and find someone to be dependent on
I wonder why they left "migration" as one of the aetiological factors out? I'm quite sure, that this is an important one. Is it at least mentioned anywhere?
It's great, that you described the history of the disorder too, and the decissions surrounding it. I love controversies, imo they are the most vibrant part of science.
Dr. Grande, I constantly have to minimise your vids on my computer. I 'm unable to look at you and think at the same time. It simply doesn't work. Of all the mad people in the world I am the worst.
Society socializes women to be this way in general
Id like to hear what it is like to be with someone with this disorder. What it feels like?
I recently allowed someone to come with on a mission trip. I usually go by myself because i go to very difficult areas . I grilled this person beforehand, yet after they bought their airline ticket, i began to notice dependancy. I gave two minor small speeches that i dont hand hold and that they must be sharp and keep up. Needless to say, the trip felt like a nightmare for me and the best day was when the last day came because i felt like i could unload them. It was very stressful to be conflicting in a position this person was continually trying to make me responsible for them. No matter how much instruction i gave them, it didn't matter. I felt like i had brought a toddler with. They jeopardized the mission many times. Now, coming back, they act like a pro.
I just want distance from this person. I dont want to feel negative about them.
I really felt like something was wrong.
Thank you for this video. Other people may feel as I do. This person ends up causing people to abandon them. It's too much to put on people.
This person is in their fiftys and has a history of being abandon.
Said they were extremly sheltered growing up.
May have some origin there.
Anyway, thanks again!
Is DPD the same thing as having an Anxious Attachment Style, with high Codependency & Boundary issues in close relationships?
In the video you state people struggle to do activities due to a lack of motivation and in the descritiopn it states the opposite of what you say in the video and that it is due to a lack of confidence not motivation. Which is correct please? Thanks