Why You Think You're Ugly | Melissa Butler | TEDxDetroit
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ต.ค. 2018
- The Lip Bar challenges the standard of beauty through their products, pricing and ingredients. They focus on their beliefs that beauty isn’t linear, cosmetics shouldn’t be for the privileged, and makeup is a mere enhancement of who you are, not a completion of you! In 2012, Melissa launched The Lip Bar because she was incredibly frustrated with the beauty industry. Why were most cosmetics filled with unnecessary chemicals? Why did lipsticks only come in a limited range of colors? And more importantly, why was the depiction of beauty so damn linear?
Melissa started making lipstick in her kitchen because I believed beauty shouldn't compromise health and because she was determined to not change the way she looked to fit into some superficial or trendy beauty standard.
She's not passionate about makeup. She's passionate about creating an inclusive narrative on what beauty is and reminding women that they don't have to settle for anything.
Today, The Lip Bar products are found at retailers nationwide and Melissa's mission to challenge the current standard of beauty by creating a lipstick experience that is unsurpassed in craftsmanship, quality and color continues. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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Those commenting just about her beauty and not her intellectual speech just reiterates that we as a society are obsessed with looks.
Facts..
Ain’t that the truth!!
Literally
FACTS
We are so shallow.
People will go to the end of the earth to justify and distract from our shallowness as humans. One of our many faults
💯💯💯
Everybody likes dark mode in everything unless it's a skin.
That's too true
except on nintendo switch, if you use light mode on nintendo switch you're a psychopath
sienna
So it’s not an exception
Right ? Everybody demands variety unless it's skin
TRUE.
"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." -Confucius
This!!!!
True
Yes 😉💥❤️
🗣Yes, you're right.
Kesinlikle
No one really cares about us unless we're beautiful,dead or popular...😑
Hey army
@@kookieyumyum7119 hey buddy!💜
Ikr, it's the reality and it hurts
Facts
I agree
I think the majority of people are missing the point of this ted talk by only focusing on her looks.
exactly!
dianabarralaga but this what she started her talk with - her looks...
@Ashley Victoria Yes she is a beautiful woman but they meant that we should focus on what she's talking about and not her looks.
@@dianabarralaga3208 Tea.
That outfit reflects your soul; what a sight to behold: And your spirit dwells in a mansion made by God.
“Our mothers are our first perspective of love and beauty” let me grab some tissues
... My Mother was BEAUTIFUL ... I'm not just sayin' that because she was my mother , but because she really was ! ... People would always tell me that ...
Elrick Penn
Awww
@@wewewewewewewewwewe ... For real ! ... I wish I could post a picture ... I'm 6'-3" and I got my height from my Mother ... She was a taller than average woman ...
Elrick Penn
I’m also tall for a girl , what a coincidence🙃 I’m sure she was gorgeous 🥰
@@wewewewewewewewwewe ... Yep ... How tall are you? ... My Sister is 6'-0" ... lol ...
Social media has ruined our perspective of beauty. It’s toxic. I find myself looking ag fake people on Instagram and feeling horrible about my appearance for the rest of the day.
Exactly... that's why I just deleted my instagram account
Be proud of yourself.
Bruh friends are enough for this
Preach
Social media made it an 24/7 reminder but it has always be a problem with unrealistic and fake consumption. Magazines and television shows are heavily filtered and only promote a certain type of woman for decades.
Wow…She even talked about heightism! Most people don’t mention how much of a difference height can make in your life. So glad she brought up many other topics that influence beauty. I absolutely loved that she encouraged us to show love to others! ❤️
Yes heightism is not talked about enough at all! It’s honestly very hurtful 😢 and people don’t usually see it as a form of body positivity or a huge insecurity at all
@@lifewithyana2924 not every word needs "-ism- added
@@pinknintendoswitch5907 Okayy? I used it once to reply lmao it wasn’t that deep you can move along
It's far more significant for men than women though. I guess I've just seen so many female managers and directors that are around 5'4." I've always attracted men over 6 ft tall, and I'm just under 5 ft, lol. Dating is a whole complex mess on its own. Tall height can bring positive attention to a man whereas it can actually bring negative attention to a woman unless she's thin and pretty.
Even if you’re thin and pretty they don’t look at you.
I struggle really hard with self esteem. When people tell me I’m pretty, a voice in my head says “they’re only saying that to make you feel better.” I’m slowly beginning to love myself and embrace the way I look. But sometimes it just gets too overwhelming and anxiety stricks😔
The exact same thing is what I struggle with. Sometimes I think 'i look pretty good' but then the anxiety hits, the depression hits. I started my TH-cam channel to get over that :) I hope it works out to my favour HAHA
If it's you on the profile pic, you are beautiful! But I get you...sometimes even the prettiest girls have low self-esteem...I hope yours will rise higher with time...
@@mannyperez9586 Ohh wow, so today I am a combination of pasta and broccoli? Wait...I really am a bit green in the face😱
@@lexidvnt1979 LMAOOOO WHAT A MOOD. I GUESS IM CORN FLAKES AND RICE KRISPIES THEN
yup. me too.
I searched the word beauty and indeed ended up getting fair skinned,thin and young women. It's heart-breaking!
Indian rocks
Lol
Wow
White women.
Crazy
Her oratory skills are something I really want to develop in myself, she's flawless in her speech, damn!
words arent good, otherwise people would let them for themselves, i guess ... (s)words - wrong, work, worries, writing, wrath, war(drobe - hypocrisy - words, for example ...)
I was really confident about me until a important person told me I'm not.
This is the worst. People we look up to are our foundational examples of confidence building and love.
@@mondaysandtuesdays6842 It hurts but mostly it's jealousy. People hate seeing other people being confident. It makes them insecure.
That someone is important to you does not mean that person truely values you. You will learn the difference during your lifetime.
you are the most important person to yourself. you can’t live without you. you can live without them. they don’t have to be around you all the time but you do so make yourself happy :) i’m sure you are beautiful btw
@@camyoutube123 Thank you ❤ I really needed that 🤗
Same here dear, but guess what!!
I was mistaken for I thought this person is important. What’s really important is me; anyone who makes me feel less or not confident is not important to me.
With time, I found out that people who feel insecure about themselves hate to see other people feel confident; so they try to put them down. Still not convinced? Well, with time I got to know a more important fact which is: people’s opinions don’t define my value. Only YOU can define yourself.
Wow! She brought up so many things to think about: Colorism, Agism, Sizeism, the shape, size and color of our bodies, the height of men, etc. is affected by our perception of beauty.
Oblong Polka Dots she even brought up fertility. shes a true role model
No such thing as sizeism, or ageism, we can make up isms for anything, but it all comes down to perspective, individual tastes and lifestyle preferences.
You can sum that up with Lookism
“Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism. He should believe in himself.” -Ferris Bueller
I agree with it age, size, and color cannot be changed it is all decided by your DNA how you will look at a specific age, how tall you will grow to at what age, and what color you will be born to be. So when people say they prefer taller people it is something that a short person that is 5'5 cannot do anything about when the other person is 6'4.
Skin bleaching is absolutely heartbreaking 💔💔💔
And that pale women have to go on sunbeds and risk skin cancer for a tan
Cassandra Roberts but iwonder it’s common in white countries extremely sad like you said
You Mad? They also use tanning beds and tanning sprays. Come again.
True
@@sarahjalajel5216 it's very common in Asia. Countries such as India, China, Japan, South Korea (there are many other countries too but I can't make a whole list). I'm from Southern Asia and believe me, I got teased by my brown skin color. When I came to Canada and in America, people call it "tan skin" and they told me they love it and wished they had one. So it depends you see.
She’s radiant. And when she said she won’t allow someone’s opinion of her affect her value. That hit me hard in the feels.
"When you go home today, look at yourself in the mirror , see ALL OF YOU. Look at all of your greatness that you embody. Accept it and love it". Beyond beautiful, almost cried. The world would be such a more accepting, wholesome and positive place if we as a society learn to expand the spectrum of the parameters we use to judge an individual and ourselves, to the entirety. The good and the bad. The looks and the soul. Thanks Melissa
Lots of people told me recently that I am not a real Russian because I don’t have blond hair, blue eyes and I am not tall and skinny. “Russians are so beautiful, why don’t you look like one?” This hurt me, even though I am often in a good mood and not into drama.
Thanks for sharing your message on beauty !
Hey your beautiful just the way u are. I recently got rejected and it hurt. A lot. But I’m fine (not really 😭)
Kpop Potato Chip Thank you! Stay strong because it gets better. I promise. Once you wake up and you won’t think about it anymore.
Appel Juice thanks..
I believe that's exactly what I'll hear when I leave Russia hahah
А вообще, это ж насколько нужно быть бестактной сволочью, чтобы такое сказать
Appel Juice I’ve got the same . Exact. Problem:/
I hate everything about myself so I spend my time caring for other people so they can see how beautiful they are
Person Mcperson That love and care you give to others is an expression of your beautiful soul.
what you see in others exists in you
(a powerful quote I came agross)
That shows how much beautiful you actually are.
I wish you didn't feel that way about yourself, because you seem like an excellent person. Be and stay blessed, friend.
God bless you
The quote behind her is so empowering "They tried to bury us they didn't know we were seeds"..... Just! Wow !
if everyone in this world has a beautiful heart like this amazing woman, the world must be so much better
She is like hella beautiful
See is!!!👍👍👍👍
Very beautiful
U have to definitely be from Cali!
Lol I was gonna say I read the title and was like but but she’s a beautiful woman 😍
Yes,she is
I was the darkest skinned person in my family and all the comments they said to me jokingly weren't seen as jokes in my mind, I grew up with that mentality that my dark skin was too dark. I've never said any of this to my family because I don't wanna hurt their feelings like they did my self esteem.
Hurt their feelings. No one gets to degrade you like that. They sound toxic.
Wow.... me too. I’m the only child in my family with dark skin. It hurts me to hear other people talk abt my skin color. Sometimes I didn’t wanna go to my relatives house or any family reunion just bcuz I don’t wanna be compared to my lighter skinned siblings. I’ve broken down many times and it is sad that ppl only care abt the looks
@AskRandom Vids thank you so much for giving me advice! I actually never tried speaking up to my relatives (the elders) bcuz in my culture, it would be considered as being rude TT but I’ll do my best to cope with it! I’m sure one day I’ll overcome this and would not get hurt again by such discrimination and criticism. Thanks so much for your help, I really appreciate it ! I hope you’re happy and if u need me, I’ll be there for you too. Thanks for reaching out TT
I think you should tell them, you can build a lot o resentment over it and keep it inside prolongues the self hatred... Still, of you are able to over came it and be confident regardless of them, better still
@@selenevandernix9353 I've given hints there and then but I haven't really sat down and talked to them and I don't think am ever gonna do it because I've healed from my past and I'd like to believe that am a better person for it. Am happy and so are they and I just don't want us to go back to how sad the past was whereas we've all grown so much over the years. Mentally and everything.
I like how she talks about all these things in an elegant and charming way without making anyone feel bad and making everyone feel included, what a true lady.
It’s just hard to hear a beautiful girl telling me to be confident
But thats exactly the point, you should not be subconsciously trained to view her as any more beautiful than anyone else based on her looks. Her intelligence, confidence, and poise are equally as sufficient.
Instead of focusing one her looks listen to her speech instead
ig inner confidence, maturity and well-behavior is what makes our outside also beautiful
Same
People are saying to listen to her message and not focus on her looks BUT she is gorgeous and when someone who looks amazing tells you to be confident when you don't think you look anywhere as good as her is difficult. Her message is great though and she herself has insecurities we all do and her message shows what got her through hers and on the path to be confident
"if granny is pulling you down, then grannys gots to go" I'm ded😂😂
😂😂
lol 😂
same with parents brothers, your crush... if you feel like someone is holding you backwards, break that Wall with all your force!
@@ShatabdaRoy115 nice
@@LeytonTLA1 You Are Nice!
Instead of commenting on her looks let’s talk about the beautiful speech she gave and how intelligent she is
Hard to take it to heart when the person saying to just love your looks is good looking themselves.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone is seen as amazingly gorgeous to someone out there. Inner beauty...kindness, compassion, and having a joyful spirit... make a woman beautiful.
Not in This world ı have been pushed away by many men because ı am not beautiful
How she talks about herself and others makes her beautiful on the inside and out. Everyone has different types and judge everyone way to quickly on their shape size or color. And this woman is trying to teach us to love ourselves and beauty isn’t everything. Beauty definitely comes from within, just don’t get obsessed with it to me. She’s got a super kind spirit and I hope the best for her.
Well said I agree
Ppl have always make me feel bad about being skinny and not curvy plus having acne, this things can totally mess up your idea of self worth and self love! If the hole world was blind what would happen?
Ana Téllez same!! I hope you accept yourself as is💜
I am skinny and I have acne scars. I am 26 years old I had learn to see myself the way God sees which is perfectly made. It took me years to get to that place. I dont wear make up any more and dress modest. Ask God to help you see yourself for who really are. We all are perfrctly made acne scars and all.
I understand, but I've been trying to see myself as God sees me. For one HE never make mistakes and I can't let society define me because today's society is self-centered and define beauty as an outward appearance, by what you are doing, and status wise what you have. Stay Encouraged!
Very interesting question!! I'd like to experience this for a week.
If the whole world was blind, people will make each other feel bad by commenting quality of their voice, skin and hair texture, body shape and scent, etc... If someone wants to harm you, they will find a way. It's up to you to show them one of your beautiful fingers;)
“Try to extend that love and acceptance to someone who doesn’t look like you” exactly
Be quiet Carl
Be quiet @@lonnie3856
My favorite part!
The one's blessed with looks and financial strength, they need to be consciously humble!
I'm about to cry thankyou for your kind words they healed my heart thankyou so much 💗
the end made me cry. let's extend all the love to ourselves and people around us, embodying and loving what we have🥺
is it me or does she sound like (one of) Nicki Minaj's voices
Haha. She does. Thankfully she's so much more articulate!
One of her voices hahahah
100%
Lol I was checking the comments section for this because I thought it was just me
Jay Watata they do have similar pitches of voices, but she’s much more articulate!
She's beyond gorgeous
What would you say about keira knightley, Natalie Portman, Saiorse Ronan?
convado deltaro19 what about them ?
@@imtiredoftheseniggas6618 that you ain't as beautiful as they are.
@@convadodeltaro1997 what was the purpose of bringing those women up they're beautiful too but I don't see them anywhere in this video nor the original comment
@@convadodeltaro1997 and you cannot see the woman you responded to so how can you compare them and why would you since they have nothing to do with the video or the woman in the video
It is difficult to accept your physical appearance when you don't match the western standard of beauty.
Exactly!
The western standard of beauty is so bland and boring
@@Thufferinthuckotash I don't even know if it is possible for someone to be universally beautiful. Each culture is unique
@@IONov990 beauty is like a compass for perspective to see whose manipulating you and whose truly trying to lead you on the right path. That's why western beauty standards are so limited because someone is trying to control or manipulate the masses. Beauty is rooted in romance or seduction which means decide whose face is giving you perspective and whose isnt. For example scammers nowadays tend to be conventionally attractive people like Jay Shetty which means if you're only focusing on his eyes and not what he's saying then you are being controlled.
@@Thufferinthuckotashbecause beauty standards are rooted in control and manipulation.
I really needed that speech and I’m sure many others did, thank you so much ❤️
Not to be pessimistic but I'm sure everyone is applauding and saying she is beautiful today but tomorrow everyone is still supporting the billion, trillion gazillion dollar beauty industry.
I work in retail and I'm amazed at how much a woman will buy just to look better.
Men are starting to fall for the same gimmicks.
Stay natural, my friends, stay natural
Paul where you work at?
@@ayana188 part time at TJ Maxx.
Beauty is the fastest growing department we have.
@K Flowers yeah, you're probably right
That's what I believe my Brother, natural all the way. Once I have my moisturiser on am done and ready to rock. My friends tried to convince me for all these make up but NAY It takes I way my confidence, i feel like it changes me . I love my natural me minus fake look. I don't need anything to look beautiful. I was make beautiful naturally. My other friebds say why do you do this ? You look like a Man without make up on. And i laugh because i feel beautiful,confidence from inside out without those make up. Someone gave me some years ago, i gave it away.
@@mercybanda4142 Sis, you need new friends. Like the woman in the video said. Even if it's your grandmother bringing you down, distance yourself. I admire your confidence in the midst of so much negativity. You're amazing! 🙌🏾
me: not skinny
also me: this means I am automatically off limits to 90% of attractive men
Camryn Zapinski 99% of attractive men are 100% not worth your time. True story.
@@rainbowstarinkentucky well said
Camryn Zapinski As a man I can tell you, if he won’t date you cause of your weight he’s not worth your time. ://
There’s someone for everyone. Find that someone who loves you for you and doesn’t care. :)
Listen y'all I know but either way it's still hard out here
I am sorry Camryn but skinny people have the same problem too. I have had more men tell me I am too skinny for them. Especially in Africa, skinny women are seen as less attractive.
this speech is a really great motivation
LOVE YOURSELF YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL
Girl you are a beautiful being , amazing that you got it going and built your own empire!
I’m on my journey to self discovery. I’ve had the lowest of the lowest of self esteem and I’m trying really hard to feel beautiful. Mind over matter. You’re beautiful because you’re you. Just be you. Be kind, be mindful, strive to grow and learn each day!
Sometimes it just surprises me that young beautiful women can feel insecure about their looks. It’s like looking at a diamond that doesn’t know what it is
@@smeredith362 most of them are insecure because when younger they were either bullied in school or put down by jealous friends, it is more the latter though!
You are literally beautiful sis !
@@suziemarie412 true
yann m thank you! So are you 💖
Men and women are ruthless and careless unfairly commenting on women's looks. And it sticks. People need to just shut up. When I was younger and stunning I'd get careless critiques.
True and it really makes people insecure.
Yes agreed! I had a guy I was seeing tell me recently that “he loved my personality” but wasn’t sure about me because of my “weight”. That cut really deep. But it was more of a reflection on his shallow character than me being “overweight”.
That's true , I'm 33 and I was looking at younger pics of myself, thinking how beautiful I was when I was younger but I never saw it when I looked at myself in the mirror. I always criticized myself and thought "if only I could lose 30 pounds, then I'd be a knockout". And people made comments like that to me!! But as I'm getting older I'm realizing even the most beautiful women feel insecure & want to change something. I just don't want to waste the rest of my youth not enjoying my beauty, before it's gone ....my mom has spent her whole life on a diet & she's beautiful, I don't want to do the same thing. Our culture slams these unrealistic beauty ideals down our throats -- "buy this, or do this and you will be beautiful". It's sad that it's just advertising trying to sell us things we don't need and it makes us feel insecure.
A nutritional ketogenic diet works well for weightloss and health gain... With tweaks in terms of avoiding any foods you're intolerant to. Go for it sisters. :)
@@thirtyonepigeons9539 exactly. Small children have no concept of self-consciousness and things like that. As a kid, I would often feel intimidated by girls I thought were prettier, but I was never shy or afraid to be myself. I knew I was weird but I was never really ashamed of it, bc it was a part of my identity.
Okay I searched at 1:56 beauty on google and i got expected results, but when i searched " Beauty in India", the search was flooded by fair skin women, men and brands. We Indians need to update our brains and change the way we look at things and that is the only way we can fight racism.
True Brother
Thanks for conveying this message in such an impacting manner. We all need to listen to this.. The whole mankind needs to!
Look at this beautiful Woman.
She IS beautiful !!!
Ive met her in person and she is so nice and pretty
@@alexa6260 I thought you said you met her in prison💀
@@louisarose7748 ... lmmfao ...
I think I'm beautiful
I think I'm intelligent
I am smart
I am capable
I am worthy
I am strong
I love myself...
Period😘
Lyfewithfena period 💓
@@sugie1704 period sis💟💟
Period
@@seanleon2470 yes.
Period. No tampon🤣
Yes!!! Your insight and wisdom are inspiring!!! We need to hear your voice in all forms of media. Well said!!!!
I am a young girl living in Turkey. Although I'm ashamed to say this, if you're not beautiful here, you're nothing. When you meet a man, you have to change your hair, clothes and even your face. because they don't accept you any other way. If you are not beautiful and you have a boyfriend, this relationship is portrayed as a conflict of interest. I am so tired of these unwritten rules that are just culturally ingrained. I'm not beautiful compared to those people, I'm overweight, my hair is bad, I have dark skin, and many more. but like many women and girls, I want to dispel these perceptions. My sisters, I hope we will be successful in this war. I love you all. 🫀🫀🫀
You are beautiful so always remember that. Being like everyone else is just boring ♥️
@@hanjnk Oh thank you so much. It's been great for me to find the support I need right now. Shout out to all the girls: We are all beautiful and we all have different auras, keep that in mind. I love you all so much. oh thank you so much. It's been great for me to find the support I need right now. Shout out to all the girls: we are all beautiful and we all have different auras, keep that in mind.oh thank you so much. It's been great for me to find the support I need right now. Shout out to all the girls: we are all beautiful and we all have different auras, keep that in mind.🫀🤍
I wish I could hug you. You are beautiful inside and out.
I second cutting down on social media. When I do use apps like Instagram I try to be as brief as possible these days. I don’t use it everyday like I used to.
i don't use it. i'll post something and won't scroll. it's toxic
@@BriaBarrows Ikr
I’ve completely deleted my account enough is enough. Not even just because the beauty and self esteem issue. Take a quick second and really really think about all the nonsense in one quick hr u subject your brain cells to ..honestly
I thought I was the only one that thinks that social media has done more harm than good... The society at large just isn't helping .
When I go on social media I just look at pictures of parrots (I’m a bird geek)
Whenever I come across people who judge others on the basis of color, appearance, religion or ethnicity; I feel pity because they can't see beyond what's visible to the eyes; they are slaves to their senses. When a child is born, mother pray for her/him to be healthy and that's all that matters. Whenever I used to listen people judging me for my color/ height/ weight, I estimate the growth of their brains :-) Don't waste your energy on such people, just ignore them and move on. You're beautiful the way you are, and certainly not born for validations.
true words each person is how they are humans need to stop udging othe no1 ca be perfect that doesnt exist
Thank you! Talking about beauty in this format immediately puts you up for judgment by others on how you measure up, so this can't have been an easy presentation for you. I let myself be led around by the opinions of others for so many years that it led to dysmorphia. Much healthier to decide for yourself what beauty is and that you are IT, no matter what anyone else says.
Very well explained, she is so intelligent ,wise,calm lady I have ever seen. Her voice and way of talking is so calming.
How you look shouldn't prevent or distract you from learning/growing/knowing your worth💞
If the way you look determines your socioeconomic status, then being hungry, unsafe and abused..will be a bit of a distraction.
No excuses too many resources.
@1111 V2 👍
It’s basically just someone else’s opinion on you. Doesn’t mean you’re not pretty. Some people don’t think Beyoncé is pretty
fuckin hate beyonce's fanbase its pure cancer
True
Shockingly that’s true unfortunately
Right
Damn, as a person who isn't attracted to Beyonce I never thought of it that way. A lot of people find her beautiful. I don't find myself attractive either but it doesn't mean I'm not. 🤔 these comments got me in deep thought today lol
Beautiful intellectual talk. So nice to see someone being as brave as she is by standing up for what she believes in.
her laugh is beautiful, her personality is beautiful, and I love her message. thank you
What if my mirror triggers me 😂
Lmao
😂 same
Lol!!!
On a serious note. What do you do about it?
@@neetadsouza7870 i dont look in the mirror or click any pictures. But when i do (by mistake) it ruins my whole day
Wow. This was incredible! I wish everyone would see it. Thank you for sharing your gift Melissa
Just watched your video on self-love and body positivity. Thank YOU for sharing your gift!!!! Also, love you yoga vids♥️
JUST DONT DO THAT!
I feel like true beauty is being healthy. Nothing is more pretty than a healthy and happy person! :D
I love how she mentioned South Africa bc not many internationals acknowledge our internal struggles and successes
You deserve a thousand likes 💕
same
same
She's a beauty
And she Ghanaian too🇬🇭💃🏿💕
aneba mistressofdarkness wow for real!! Woot woot!! 🇬🇭🇬🇭🇬🇭
@Reerei Dia ...never said there wasn't. I'm Ghanaian as well I was just acknowledging my fellow Ghanaian
aneba mistressofdarkness Ghana sis here 🇬🇭 yasssss
Where can we get this info about her being Ghanaian?
@@Lillyroot1 she said during this video
Hi, Melissa, I really liked your thinking about fashion and how it is currently normalized by the beauty industries, and how it spread all over the world. At present I have seen how friends and family seek to fit into these dictated profiles, even damaging their health to be liked by others, friends who make dangerous diets or use expensive creams and treatments, although they are valued for what they aren't feel good. At present we see that it seeks to raise awareness about the acceptance and appreciation of each one as it is and I hope that this will spread more and more.
Goddess. Eloquent, intelligent and empathetic! Thank you for this.
She’s beautiful not just because shes a stunning woman but mainly her amazing attitude 💖
Beauty is not all about physical its the inside also which helps to make you appreciate the physical.
That's so true! Would you like to buy some cosmetics? She's got a special on. Half price if you buy in the next 15 minutes; hurry hurry hurry!
That was a beautiful speech... thank you 😭
She is simply amazing, she told me how to love yourself.
I feel like I'll always be a second choice because of the color of my skin and the texture of my hair. It's hard not comparing yourself to others. Self esteem has always been a problem for me. I just feel like I'll never be enough.
Same my skin to dark
It’s not true! We’ve all been told negative lies about ourselves. Read the book maximum self esteem by Jerry Minchinton. I read it and it really helped me. Self esteem is something that can be worked on 😉
If you’re second choice then that’s not the guy/girl for you. Stop seeking validation in others and learn to love yourself. At the end of the day, you will be the only one taking care of you and no one else. You are beautiful and I dnt need to see a pic to know this. You’ve just been broken by insecure people like most of us. You will overcome this. Find the beauty within yourself and accept what u cannot control, and you’ll live an abundant and happy life 💋 blessings to you‼️🙏🏾🌺🥂
Yeah
Idk. If you go to a country with lots of white people I think a darker apperiance is seen as exotic and beautiful. I am white and blond and live in a country where thats rare. I have a cute face but i really dont feel like i get more attention for that than someone less blond or less white. I find dark skin beautiful, I look like a total zombie next to anyone with a bit more pigment. I guess everybody has a different view on whats beautiful. But yeah most inportant to appreciate yourself. Find something that you like in your appareance or the way you carry yourself and consentrate on that! Its gonna be allright. Life is too short to worry about these things. Even its hard sometimes :/ cheers and all good for you ! 🌸:)✌
“What are those triggers?”
No one ever hits on me-I don’t even know how I could block those triggers out
Girl...play some video games...you'll either get hit on or trolled 😊 either way, don't worry...just be confident in who you are. You're beautiful, and you'll find someone soon! 🥂💗
the trigger is looking at outwardly validation or confirmation.
@@daniellesmith8414 if you always keep getting hit then why are y'all insecure?
xtel folaj
But everyone does, you might not notice but this response is also looking for validation from others to prove you are right🤷🏿♀️ when you dress up and get your hair done it’s so that ppl will validate your efforts, your beauty. Seeking validation is normal, all animals(humans, dogs, cats, etc) do/need it.
@@blujay3557 it's one thing to like getting complimented and then theres another thing when you rely on validation from attention. Because when attention leaves or dies down, you start to doubt yourself and think you dont look good. It's never good to rely on what people think all the time.
Hello Melissa, I loved that you talked about beauty and how it has taken molds to fit the beauty of what I see, which should not be so, as you say we must start to love ourselves and learn to stop giving importance to negative comments and strive more to give ourselves our own theater and value and feel good with ourselves. It is good that we know how to value and love ourselves as we are, without filters, without sarisfacer to others and see that we can shine with our own light and being our own without being overshadowed by anyone.
María Godoy
3° BGU
I'm young, fair skinned, and tall ; my mom has commented on my big thighs, my chin, and my 'typical chinese face'. She's commented about my hair in a positive way, but nevertheless I told her : "everyone looks good and should dress according to how they look" She got angry. Beauty is really not vital to individual functioning. It pisses me off that our looks are so commented on.
Now, Korean beauty standards are upheld. As a tall, big thigh woman, with slightly masculine features, I'll never fit. We'll NEVER fit the beauty standards, might as well just dress however we want.
More and more, I ignore my mom's comments about my clothes. Quite literally, I just act as if she never said anything. Why waste time listening to pointless comments like this?
So true
She’s beautiful, not because of her looks (though she is stunning) but because she has a beautiful mind!
Exactly
"no matter who you are, your skin colour, your gender identity, JUST SPEAK YOURSELF"
-Kim Namjoon
i was finding a bts related comment in the comment section.
you are an indian right?
@@subhashreebiswas4604 yep!!!! You too?
@@kathacentauri5943 yes yes!!!
@@subhashreebiswas4604 omg hi! Can you follow me on insta so we can be friends? If you don't mind 🥺
@@kathacentauri5943 sure!!!
Thank u I need this she said so many positive words that have meaning
she’s stunning and this is beautiful, thank you
She looks like my future daughter I'm not arguing with anyone
Lol!
🤣🤣🤣
Lol
LOL ,😂😂
😂😂😂😂
“And when you leave the house tomorrow, try to extend that same love and acceptance to someone who doesn’t look like you. “
Beautiful speech! These words are really needed today.
Thank you for your inspirational talk. I needed this.
I second that, “Whoooooo!!!!” heard at the end
Good 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🤗
Awesome speech.... beauty lies in the heart not on the face😊😊😊😊
Lol
That's untrue people will first look at your face first and your personality last
@@m_-.430 I'm honestly fed up with this rhetoric. People are always virtue signaling about beauty only to back track in real life.
We all know this statement is moot in the real world.
It seems like everyone says they agree with these types of statements but they don't really agree. People still put looks before personality. Say you don't think that way all you want, but think about it.
I’ve been having trouble with my self esteem. Over the years, I’ve been going up and down the mental coaster of feeling good about myself. I’ve been having common thoughts like “you’re not pretty do some exercises” to “don’t exercise you’re only doing it for the looks that’s bad” and then I get worried about my weight, and idk how to get out. This video made me feel a bit better and I hope I can take her suggestion and be nicer to myself.
I hope you got confidence and trust in yourself now :)
She speak out with so much safety! She”s wonderful!!
7:48 camera pans to crowd full of white people lol
That must've been tough giving a speech so heavy on colorism in front of a bunch of white people but she nailed it!
So awesome to watch. We actually attended hs and college together and she’s as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I’m extremely proud every time I see her in her element. She deserves all the greatness she’s receiving
She's really so wonderful❤
i admire her confidence and elegance in speech. now that is beauty
She such a smart women. She's truly an inspiration. World needs this right now!!!🙏❣
I used to have a huge crush on her when I was in high school. What a beautiful girl and orator she is.
Gorgeous and smart.
Lol. It's not about beautiful. Listen better
I searched the word 'beauty' and she's right
I searched the word "hypocrisy" and this video appeared at the top of the list!
@@emotophobiccdd8006 you don't say!!!!!
@@emotophobiccdd8006 cause I searched it n spice song was at d top of the list
I find it hard to be positive when all the people advocating it are stunning but I also believe that everyone is beautiful but for some reason I cannot find that in myself ✨
Wow, this is gold ... Thank you for sharing such a message 💓
This is a speech which I could connect with..... I had a "defect" with my teeth from childhood.... I've gone through many bullying especially in school.... The boys don't liked me.... Neither I liked them..... Because they used to make fun of me...... One day a every one in my class was talking about their relationships and crushes.... When I was about to tell mine every one started making fun of me sarcastically.... That thing hit me very badly..... They don't even considered as a human being...... I still couldn't forget it.....
Seeing your profile pic, i must admit that you look beautiful....You don't have to overthink too much about your looks, such incidents happen in school. Just maintain a healthy lifestyle, being healthy and confident enhances your beauty and makes you feel beautiful.
One of my favorite business owners. Loved her since Shark Tank. So proud she and her business partner didn’t quit.
Thank you for this video ❤️ needed this today, was on the edge and fed up
Thank you so much for this talk !!!!
I have been trying to avoid this video for so long on TH-cam but I didn't know that TH-cam was trying to tell me something important. This is video is well said and done.
Lol same here. This message is for me.
Looks are so important. It impacts how people treat you.
It shouldn't be that way but society has set it out like this.
Yup and nope
It does and it doesn’t.
And maybe most importantly how you treat yourself
Sending you a piece of my heart for your bold spirit 💝
The world has forced its perception of beauty on us all for long enough so we are re-engineering it, as this brilliant woman has so eloquently expressed. You are so beautiful inside and out, Melissa! Be Blessed!
Every time I see my mom and stepdad they always comment on my weight for no reason. It’s embedded in my mind now. Anytime I eat I mentally tell myself ”dont eat too much. I don't wanna gain weight.”
That's not okay! You should tell them how it makes you feel. And know that your worth has nothing to do with weight. Please try to stay healthy, eat normal because if you don't you are holding the door open for an eating disorder. I am talking from experience.
That is verbal abuse. And though it’s only natural that their voices end up in your head, they don’t deserve to live there rent-free.
I hope you can find some self love practices (surely there’s a program with a workbook, as writing is hella transformative) that help this become less of a drag on your mind. 💖
Sometimes parents can be very cruel and uncaring. Don't allow anyone like that to define your self worth. You are only one who is allowed to define your self worth. Find better parental role models from among aunts and uncles whom you know in your gut are good people. You can listen to the guided meditation on TH-cam called 'there's nothing wrong with you'. There are many other good ones on the Insight Meditation Timer app (it's free) and on TH-cam. Also for better health try the nutritional ketogenic diet and some exercise and you'll do great. Make your own decisions, be low contact and emotionally detach from your parents and move ahead in life. 💕
M M I don’t have a lot of great people in my family. I have a lot of outsiders who compliment me and help me a lot so I’m grateful for them
RAINBOW STAR Music I’ve been dealing with verbal abuse since I could remember . It’s hard to overcome it.