Just seeing this reaction and it cuts deep. You want to believe so badly that your person could be the person you know they could be. But, they never will. When you figure it out, it’s soul crushing. Why is the answer you’ll never get and it hurts. Thank you for being so honest. 💔
Little big town released their version of this song right as I was going through a tough break up with a narcissist. I instantly loved it, but I don't look up writers of songs often. I had no idea it was written by Taylor until she released Red TV, but it suddenly made so much sense. Not that I dislike Little Big Town, but no one writes like Taylor. Also, lots of love and support for you, Mere, becoming a single mom is so tough.
My late Mom loved this song and she loved Little Big Town. I didn’t realize Taylor wrote it (She is an amazingly talented woman) I wish I could tell her it was Taylor and talk to her about it❤️😔
I’d love to see you react to Taylor’s song “it’s time to go” from evermore. It really is my anthem for the decisions I’ve made and being okay with them. She writes in the song that sometimes the bravest thing is to run. And I hold on to that even now years after.
What Mere said at the end about being able to understand someone’s past trauma and why they behave the way they do but also understanding how you should be treated, that resonates with me about a friendship I have rn! I think I’ve made excuses for her behaviour for too long and I’m realising she’s taken from our friendship way more than she’s given for years now! The ‘what ifs’ always stop me from walking away from her :/ Though I think she may have walked away from me simply because I haven’t given her money lately - uh it’s hard to realise the toxicity of something you used to hold so dear. Sorry for that thought ramble, it just sort of fell out of my head!
Don’t apologize and I’m so glad it resonated with you! It’s very hard letting go of people when you understand their complexities but it must be reciprocal. You deserve that. No more giving money. Please. It’s toxic and not okay. You see this clearly for a reason. Doesn’t make it early but you have to do what is best for yourself. Sending you so much ❤
This song broke me when I was driving home from getting my car serviced. I'd already heard the damn song like six times, but for some reason that specific time it hit a nerve and I cried ugly for twenty minutes over a relationship that ended over ten years ago. I cannot IMAGINE what this song would've done to me if I had heard it when that grief was still fresh.
I am a man in my early 70s. I raised my children myself since the youngest was 6. I never expected this journey. Some nights I would fall on on my bed staring at the ceiling, wondering how I got through the day. How can I be both parents? My overriding focus was to let them know the situation was not their fault and that I loved them beyond measure. While she had visitation rights, she never used them. So painfully sad. They are now grown. We all “raised” each other, in a way. I’m so sorry you are facing a similar journey. Your grief will be deep, but you can get through it. Getting over it may be harder. My sincere wishes for your loved ones to gather around you for support when grief weighs too heavily on your spirit.
When you said "sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing" not only resonated with me but also reminded me of Taylors song "time to go" of of Evermore the bonus tracks. You should definetly react to it, because the song talks about that. Btw love your reactions😊❤
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I really loved your perspective on grief and letting go and the choices we make. I definitely got something from it, thanks a lot for the video.
Hey, hope you're doing well. Just wanted to say how much I love your reactions, especially as a psychology student myself who connects to all these artists' music, it's so great to see such videos. And I really wanted you to react to this particular song because it really broke me although I personally haven't experienced anything like this but I know so many friends of mine who relate to this song, in fact I have had people say how they relate this song to their relationship with their father and I feel that too is such an interesting and a really heartbreaking way to view this song. It's such a simple song, like no hidden meanings or anything yet such a deep one. And I feel like Taylor relates her experience from this song to another song of hers "it's time to go" where she talks about what she learnt from her past mistakes and it kinda gives hope and strenth to the listeners as well. You should definitely react to that song as well. It's written beautifully. And lastly I wanted to thank you for doing these reaction videos and being so vulnerable because I can really understand how difficult it can be to react to songs which may be deep and wrotten about slightly darker topics. Sending loads of love!!! ❤❤
Wow. Thank you so much for watching and sending me so much love. I can totally see it from an absent father viewpoint now that you have mentioned that. Taylor really is right on with her lyrics and I will absolutely do “it’s time to go” for you :) it really means so much that you are sending me so much love and understanding. Keep doing what you are doing too. We need compassionate people in the psych world!❤❤❤
Crying along with you. When I got divorced, this song came out and I would just sit there and cry and play it over and over and cry. I am better now. It took a minute. I loved that poem. I am glad my kids were grown.
I feel you - the pain is real. Sometimes it just sucks that it has to be this way, when it could’ve been better if the other person had been more decent.
Are you in NYC? That’s the beauty of this city, you can be on the subway sobbing and it’s okay. I’ve cried on the subway and watched so many people too. Let it out!! Sending you so much ❤
This song just makes me emotional every time I sing to it I just feel it so hard on my heart and just wishing ur man was better than what he’s doing I think most women can relate and wanting better for themselves but still having the hurt of knowing it was special once ❤️🩹 Thank you for reacting and showing pure emotion 💖 I cried with u 💖
I stumbled across you tonight as I'm battling insomnia and I so wanted to give you a hug. I'm a single mom also for almost 11 years now. My ex couldn't accept my son's autism diagnosis and how severe it affects our son's life. He has chosen not to have any contact with our son for 10 years now. And that is completely a choice because he doesn't see the joy that our son has and the simple things in life. He only saw the bad with the autism and never the good that could come with it. I'm not one of those parents who believes that autism is a kept autism is super hard and will always be super hard. It has stolen a lot of things from my child, but it's also giving him this childlike Joy that most people in the early 20s no longer possess. It's really hard being a single parent and it's really hard to set those boundaries and do what's right for your child. I love Taylor's writing and I love how she writes from her own experiences. I love that her songs are filled with emotion and true reaction to what life is.
One thing that I always have to remind myself of during a break-up is that I still have all of me. When you're in a relationship, especially a long term relationship with marriage and children, it's so easy to get into the mindset of being two halves and so when that relationship breaks down you feel like you've lost half of yourself, but you haven't... you are whole. You are complete. You may not feel that now because you don't have the person you want(ed) but in time you'll realise that you are the person you need and that the person you lost was an extension, not the foundation. Some Taylor-isms to leave you with: "Gained the weight of you to lose it, believe me I could do it" "She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything" "May your heart remain breakable but never by the same hand twice" We love you Mere 💖
I cried right there with you Mere as I listened to that song again. She sings it beautifully and it really cuts too. I hope you are doing okay and know that we love you!
I love your emotional realness ❤ Any one of us females who have been through this with a boyfriend or husband/ Ex-husband feels the pain of these words “ I just miss you and wish you were a better man” ironically so true! Your amazing & the pain never leaves but lessons over time until it tears it’s ugly head when you least expect it. Just know your son is blessed because he has you & that’s everything!! ❤
Thank you so much for these words! I’m crying again. I know I’m doing the right then but it still hurts and I do miss him but he should be a better man. It feels so simple but still so hard for them. Sending you ❤❤❤
@@mendwithmere he / they should be a better man but that’s only something they can choose. You’re the better person putting your child first even when it hurts you, I know what that’s like I’ve been there but you are truly giving your child a gift and example of what real love is! It’s good to cry and feel the emotion because only then can you start to let it go even when you feel like it never will but it will because your facing it head on. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ right back at you 1000 times. 🥰
I never clicked so fast cause this is one of my favorite songs of Taylor’s! First off, I’m sorry for what your going through and thank you for always being so vulnerable and open 💜 sending you good energy and prayers. I know this song still makes me cry when I really sit with myself and the lyrics and it’s funny (well not really) because I know it’s about a relationship but I can’t help but relate it to my father and how broken our relationship or lack of one is and I can’t help but wonder sometimes if he was a better man what kind of impact that would have had in life…if I would have known less pain. I don’t know. I won’t ever know I think. But I know my worth and the beauty of music how it can be interpreted in so many different ways and that’s the beauty of it. 💜
I feel this so deeply in my bones. I can absolutely see how you would wonder about the impact of your father in your life if he’d been better and please know that you did deserve less pain and someone who was present for you. This is what concerns me with my sons father and his lack of effort in his life. It’s so sad. I don’t get it and probably never will. Sending you so much ❤
@@mendwithmere thank you so much for those kind words! And all I can recommend from being a kid that was put between a nasty divorce between my parents and my dad pretty much abandoning after that just be there for your son and remind him it’s not his fault and he is enough. I’m sure you already know that though as an amazing therapist you are 💜
“She would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying.” Idk why this quote from one of my favorite books always reminds me of this song and without going into the plot too heavily I think it’s just amazing to recognize that you do love someone but because of their past traumas they can’t be a “better man” for you and even though it’s not their fault or your fault for not being able to heal them it still hurts and sometimes walking away is the best thing to do. Hope you’re doing okay this song can be a rough one to listen to 🫶🏻
As a happily divorced dad of 29 years, watching you react to this, it hurts. But I get it. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, I couldn't eat, it was difficult to go to certain places in my small city because it would remind me of her. But Mere, trust me, it gets better, it really does. Just one more thing, I was asked by a friend as I was in the middle of my heated divorce, if I could do it all over again, would I still marry her, and my answer was... "absolutely! Because if I didn't I wouldn't have my wonderful daughter! She was the best thing that came from my marriage!"
Oh Bruce, I was wondering if I’d hear from you! Thank you for sharing this. It does help to hear it’ll get better and I love my son more than anything and very grateful for him. I just didn’t want to do the parenting alone but I’m getting used to it. Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤
@@mendwithmere, I ran into one of my ex's coworkers husband about a year after my divorce, and he too was recently divorced, and he asked me how I'm doing, and and I told him, "I'm doing alright, sometimes I cry myself to sleep, and that's ok" and he asked me "how many months of therapy did it take to realize that?" and I answered, "none, I didn't go to therapy, I realized it by myself" I too was afraid of being a single parent, but something just kicked in and I just became this super dad. I did all the school field trips, I volunteered with her school choir, I took her to her dance lessons, I chaperoned with the dance studio to trips to Disneyland. So, if I could do it, no doubt in my mind that you can do it! You've got this!
yep, I'm crying too. had never heard this song paying real attention and now i see how i relate to it. this hurt a lot and I'm thankful i have therapy in an hour
I hope this channel mends you as well as it mends all of us. Thankyou for being vunerable and showing us that there's so much strength in vunerability. You really are mending the world one video at the time. Please know you are so loved and appeciated by many. Please don't feel pressure to upload when you've got a lot of things going on, we'll wait for you. ❤
Anne! It is absolutely mending me! This has been so unexpectedly therapeutic and I’m so grateful for the love and possibility that I’m helping other people. Sending you ❤
Thanks for covering Taylor’s anything and everything ❤ she’s heartfelt & genuine (and of course genius!)! I’m in my early 60s and cannot get enough of her. And when you get teary eyed it just makes me want to cry more. But that’s a good thing. God Bless 😇
Dear Mere, I have been struggling for years with being able to be vulnerable and let my feelings exist and be expressed as they wash over me, instead of just pushing it all away. Seeing your honest vulnerability helps me be more compassionate with myself. Thank you
I really needed to hear this, thank you. I’m going through a divorce as well at age 21. We were only married a year but he was emotionally abusive to me. The signs weren’t there at the beginning he just became this person I didn’t know. I sometimes ask myself that WHY question as well. That’s why this song hits hard. Thanks for opening up.
Love you, Mere, and I’m so proud of you for taking a stand for you and your son. This video broke my heart, not because of the song so much, but your reaction was so hard to watch. Seeing you try to hold back tears feeling and knowing inside that you wanted to turn the video off and just break the f**k down. Because you couldn’t run, or felt like you couldn’t run and didn’t wanna let us down (I wouldn’t have blamed you a damn bit had you stepped back and turned it off), it was then I started seeing you have not only a deeply emotional and psychological response, but holding those tears back caused a strong physiological response. I noticed a light sweat sheen forming on your face, then you getting even more hot and pulling at the neck of your sweater and shoving your sleeves up just wishing the song to be over. Just know, it’s okay to cry and we all love and support you 💯! P.S.-Can’t wait for my shirt to come in! Sending you love and light!
I came here while looking for Taylor's video - and I am so glad I did! Few things are more difficult than grieving the loss of someone who is still alive. As a fellow single mom (of 5) I salute you. We are warriors. We do it because we have no choice. 💗 It gets easier, I promise.
Remember to look at what was and is, not what you hoped for. No need to grieve for something that never happened except in your mind. It’s very difficult on us to judge people - partners, friends - on what we feel they “could be”… that’s a construct of us, not a reality. Seeing people in real terms, black and white, actions not words - that shit is hard but so worth it. Agree it’s interesting what we tolerate for ourselves but would not tolerate as an example for our child.
You are speaking the absolute TRUTH! This song brought up those feelings about what could have been but I’m happy now to let that go bc, like you said, it never existed. Wow, thank you!❤
This is the song that inspired me to leave my toxic and abusive addict husband!!! I always say Taylor saved my life and my kids lives… I’m 100% too. I don’t even miss him I miss the idea, the hope, the promise of a life I will never get to have now.
I love that you are so genuine in all your videos. Thank you so much for doing these reactions, even when it hits deep. Sending you virtual hugs and support 🤍
i love these videos of yours so much. SO MUCH. my group of friends watch your videos as well even though they're not huge swifties, we like to hear your opinions as a therapist since we're psychology students aspiring to be like you. cheers from Manila! 🤗
I just finished my first relationship in life. It was with a narcisit person and this song has helped a lot during my healing process. I just want to say that it really helps to feel validated by your reaction to the song! Thank you so much!
I'm sorry for what you're going through and have gone through. My mother was also a single mom and never had co-parenting support of any kind. My father became estranged eventually. I was 5-years old when I last saw him. That was about 45 years ago now. I still live with the repercussions of my parents bad decisions...
This song is so touching, I'm so happy she decided to give us this version ❤ the first part immediately brings me to tears, so well-written. Can we have some more Phoebe Bridgers and also Florence and the Machine? 🥺 Hope you're doing well, love u ❤
I am doing well, that was a total release for me! Yes! More to come from other artists. I did a reaction to Kyoto with my nephew but he doesn’t want me to post it 😩
I'm a daughter of a highly functioning alcoholic, who was able to stay years with no drinking and then fall into a week long spree. The trauma that he inflicted on our family and the inreperable damage that he did to us as his kids was not worth the years of being a good father. You did the best thing you could for you child and yourself as well.
Understanding why people do things can be so hard at times, because you sorta loose sight of what you're bringing to the relationship and all you do then is keep understanding. Its so brave of you to be so open about your vulnerability, I know how hard it is to talk about something as its happening, and I hope you're doing well. Love you and your videos so much, you make me feel heard and I feel like I'm talking to myself when I watch your videos. love you
Love you back. It is hard talking while going through it and I just want people to feel that they can do that too. We carry so much unnecessary shame. So glad you enjoy the videos❤
I love hearing Taylor again! She's so real and honest. This song is very personal to me too as it seems to be to you as well. I also have been divorced after a 20 year marriage and we share kids. You're right about the grief. ❤
Grief such a strange burden of possibilities I remember the shock to my system when I realized we'd never have a 50th anniversary -not something that is at all important to me now but, oh my! It was then, everything was hitting hard then Much love to you I know it doesnt feel like it but, youve got this
thank you !!!! id like to warp you into a big hug!! you are a very strong person, being here as someone who usually is the leader and the shoulder as a therapist it takes a lot of courage to let yourself show emotions
I’m so sorry about you going thru divorce. It’ll suck for awhile for you’ll come out of this better. Grieving the loss of what it could have been. But don’t skip over the grief-you’ll get thru it and life WILL be better. Love ya ❤
Thank you so much for this video! First of all, I am so sorry that you're going through all this but I also admire you so much! You are so brave to be so vulnerable in front of us even though you could have edited all this! Your reactions are natural and vulnerable! Thank you for your honesty❣️I love this song and I was waiting for you to put out more reactions to Taylor's music! Your videos on Taylor's songs made me fall in love with her music even more and understand her on a whole different level! Please make more reactions to Taylor's songs! Especially exile and 'The last time'! Pretty please!!!❤️
Yes! Thank you so much. I often think about editing out but I’m being raw and I want to see more of that in the world. I have exile, nothing new, and champagne problems coming!
Thanks for making these videos, been a Swiftie since 2017(and a die hard fan of lyrical pop) and you just keep on giving us further context on her music!!! Keep serving.
I am very proud of you! And I really understand how you feel and what this song means to me. It’s not easy. Stay strong and it’s okay to feel emotional. I wish you nothing but love and strength ❤️ I always watch your videos and I like them so much!
I adore this song so much. I had never heard the song until Taylor's Version and it's the only version i still really like at all. It's so beautiful and emotional. I did hear Carrie Underwood's "Starts With Goodbye" years ago and this song reminds me a lot of that one though. That song though actually applies a lot more to me going No Contact/ cutting off all contact with my abusive, narcissistic (& other issues) mother. This "Better Man" song is so interesting because while it is about how the bravest thing is leaving, this one is so much more about the guy she's leaving behind and how much she misses him and still grieves him and a more specific dynamic about how things were sweet at the beginning and he would "push [her] love away like it was a loaded gun" (love that line SO much!!). To me the guy she's describing is someone with a lot more to grieve and miss than what I went through with my mom. So all this about Taylor's song here makes me think instead much more of people I've dated. I'm an asexual woman and my dating life isn't that similar to straight women's, i also date people of all genders but when i date our dynamic is never very normative... but still i find myself relating to so much of this song, like dating partners with avoidant attachment style who push my love away like it was a loaded gun, and thinking about what could've been if only one little thing was different and they were more ready, more emotionally healed from their own trauma. I just. I find this song so so emotional and powerful and I'm so glad to see a reaction from you, someone who clearly gets it on such a deep level. Some reactors just don't have any personal experience to relate to when they hear it. And it really makes a difference. I love how you described that Taylor is so direct and that's a big part of the power of her writing, how she gets to the core of what exactly we're feeling and thinking in these moments. She's so specific in an amazingly relatable and powerful way. I adore her writing.
Thank you for sharing and posting your vulnerability; I'm sure it wasn't easy but it will help so many to not feel alone. On a lighter note, I can't get over how much you look like Taylor in this video! The makeup, the lighting, the hair style, you're beautiful and could easily be her sister. Wishing better days to you and your child.
Wow. I just found you tonight and I love All Too Well but was interested in your reaction to this. When it came out I too didn’t realize it was a TS song. But the words cut me deep too. Watching your reaction I KNEW….this momma has felt this. Because your reaction was mine when I first heard this song years ago. And if they were just better we could have still been good right? Hugs to you momma ❤️
I hurt for you the entire video and almost stopped it. I know finishing would be good for your views and also I was hoping to see you through it. You are an inspiration. Looking forward to exploring your new book, as well!
Hi Mere, I just wanted to speak as a child that was left by her father when I was just 6 years old, in the hope this perspective might help. My Mum was left to parent a 6 and an 8 yr old 100%. He never wanted to be a father, was a terrible husband and when he was around he was angry. My mum was broken when she found out he was cheating and told him to leave. He left and never wanted to be a father anymore either. She was broken, but then realised she was happy that the man that resented the 3 people he’s supposed to love most in this world, was gone. No more trauma. No more battling, begging for love. No more praying for change. This was the man. A change of heart and behaviour would be a different person altogether; and if this man embodied what we wanted and needed him to be, it would all be a lie. Our life would be a lie and, although the truth and the true man hurt to come to terms with, the 3 of us could go on to build an honest and happy life, filled with love… and peace! And this is what we did. I want you to know there is hope and there is happiness and honesty ahead of you. And so much love! You get to build a kingdom from the ruins. Sending you love, peace and happiness ❤
Pat pat! Everything is gonna be fine:) You're great and I love watching your videos and it's been something that motivates and inspires me to become a better person! You deserve the best!
This song hits close to home for a lot of us, I think, and we’re not actively dealing with a situation like yours. It’s just very real. I’m sorry that you related so intensely, as beautiful as her music is, sometimes it really fucking hurts. Do love your honest reactions ♥️
@@mendwithmere it’s really worth it!! People are right hehe, she’s incredible Songs I would recommend starting with, and I would really love to hear your take on: Brand new city I bet on losing dogs Nobody Class of 2013 First love/late spring Her lyrics are usually very raw, poetic, reflective and, honestly, sad. And it’s pure art
Id really push two other red vault tracks, one is nothing new, but also Forever winter, which is about her friend who died aged 21. Glad you are back on Taylor too!!
Wow! Very powerful. This is an emotional song. Thanks for sharing your story with us, it may help guide people with similar struggles and maybe was something you sidnt know you needed to get off your chest ❤️
Hi Mere, very brave to share that with us. I love your channel. I just graduated and have my master in clinical psychology. Really like your analysis. Keep up the good work. Question.. can I order a t-shirt? I live in The Netherlands (Europe).❤
Ughhhh. Thank you mereee this is one of my favourite dongs by taylor idk it's smtg about the guitar her high notes that make the song one a person who has went nothing cry too.
I don't have much to say that other people haven't already said, but ILY Mere, and since you've made it a safe space for us, it's also a safe space for you to just...talk! Therapists need release too, and as you well know, crying is a wonderful release :) sending all the good energy and vibes
I love your channel so much. These videos are so comfortable because you're so honest and valnurable with us so thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts❤ We love you so much keep going cause it seems like an outlet for you too. We're no judging you and I know it's hard to share these kind of things. You're such a brave woman it's obvious but take care of yourself. And if you ever feel like you don't want to react to sth it's totally fine we understand💛 Btw you're so beautiful and I think everyone needs someone like you in their life:) Sending you^^❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable. It's a beautiful, courageous thing to do. When you feel ready, if you haven't yet, make a video reacting to "it's time to go" by Taylor Swift, as well. It has a similar message but is more general in making hard choices ton put yourself and those you love first. Wishing you the very best
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My mom couldn’t get away, I’m really happy you could. And as a child of a mother who couldn’t thank you for doing it.
Thank you, this means so much. ♥️
When your child grows up and sees this, he will be so proud of you✨
That means everything ❤
One of the best and saddest song she have ever written. No beautiful poetic words. Just plain gut wrenching lyrics and story telling. 🥹
The bravest thing I ever did was run..... such a simple line filled with so much truth
As a child of a divorced family, this song reminds me of my father and the man in my life. lots of love💓
Same!!
Just seeing this reaction and it cuts deep. You want to believe so badly that your person could be the person you know they could be. But, they never will. When you figure it out, it’s soul crushing. Why is the answer you’ll never get and it hurts. Thank you for being so honest. 💔
Little big town released their version of this song right as I was going through a tough break up with a narcissist. I instantly loved it, but I don't look up writers of songs often. I had no idea it was written by Taylor until she released Red TV, but it suddenly made so much sense. Not that I dislike Little Big Town, but no one writes like Taylor.
Also, lots of love and support for you, Mere, becoming a single mom is so tough.
so you know narcissistic abuse then…sigh. Sending you so much love and yes, this is totally Taylor ❤
My late Mom loved this song and she loved Little Big Town. I didn’t realize Taylor wrote it (She is an amazingly talented woman) I wish I could tell her it was Taylor and talk to her about it❤️😔
Gah! As a (now clean 9 years) addict I remember wishing I were a better man . . . so I fought like hell and became one.
I’d love to see you react to Taylor’s song “it’s time to go” from evermore.
It really is my anthem for the decisions I’ve made and being okay with them. She writes in the song that sometimes the bravest thing is to run. And I hold on to that even now years after.
What Mere said at the end about being able to understand someone’s past trauma and why they behave the way they do but also understanding how you should be treated, that resonates with me about a friendship I have rn! I think I’ve made excuses for her behaviour for too long and I’m realising she’s taken from our friendship way more than she’s given for years now! The ‘what ifs’ always stop me from walking away from her :/ Though I think she may have walked away from me simply because I haven’t given her money lately - uh it’s hard to realise the toxicity of something you used to hold so dear. Sorry for that thought ramble, it just sort of fell out of my head!
Don’t apologize and I’m so glad it resonated with you! It’s very hard letting go of people when you understand their complexities but it must be reciprocal. You deserve that. No more giving money. Please. It’s toxic and not okay. You see this clearly for a reason. Doesn’t make it early but you have to do what is best for yourself. Sending you so much ❤
@@mendwithmere Thank you so much for your lovely response ❤️
This song broke me when I was driving home from getting my car serviced. I'd already heard the damn song like six times, but for some reason that specific time it hit a nerve and I cried ugly for twenty minutes over a relationship that ended over ten years ago. I cannot IMAGINE what this song would've done to me if I had heard it when that grief was still fresh.
I am a man in my early 70s. I raised my children myself since the youngest was 6. I never expected this journey. Some nights I would fall on on my bed staring at the ceiling, wondering how I got through the day. How can I be both parents? My overriding focus was to let them know the situation was not their fault and that I loved them beyond measure. While she had visitation rights, she never used them. So painfully sad.
They are now grown. We all “raised” each other, in a way. I’m so sorry you are facing a similar journey. Your grief will be deep, but you can get through it. Getting over it may be harder. My sincere wishes for your loved ones to gather around you for support when grief weighs too heavily on your spirit.
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When you said "sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing" not only resonated with me but also reminded me of Taylors song "time to go" of of Evermore the bonus tracks. You should definetly react to it, because the song talks about that. Btw love your reactions😊❤
Thank you!❤
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I really loved your perspective on grief and letting go and the choices we make. I definitely got something from it, thanks a lot for the video.
So glad you got something from it and thank you for watching!!❤❤❤
Hey, hope you're doing well. Just wanted to say how much I love your reactions, especially as a psychology student myself who connects to all these artists' music, it's so great to see such videos.
And I really wanted you to react to this particular song because it really broke me although I personally haven't experienced anything like this but I know so many friends of mine who relate to this song, in fact I have had people say how they relate this song to their relationship with their father and I feel that too is such an interesting and a really heartbreaking way to view this song. It's such a simple song, like no hidden meanings or anything yet such a deep one. And I feel like Taylor relates her experience from this song to another song of hers "it's time to go" where she talks about what she learnt from her past mistakes and it kinda gives hope and strenth to the listeners as well. You should definitely react to that song as well. It's written beautifully.
And lastly I wanted to thank you for doing these reaction videos and being so vulnerable because I can really understand how difficult it can be to react to songs which may be deep and wrotten about slightly darker topics. Sending loads of love!!! ❤❤
Wow. Thank you so much for watching and sending me so much love. I can totally see it from an absent father viewpoint now that you have mentioned that. Taylor really is right on with her lyrics and I will absolutely do “it’s time to go” for you :) it really means so much that you are sending me so much love and understanding. Keep doing what you are doing too. We need compassionate people in the psych world!❤❤❤
This song hits so hard. Missing someone even though they weren’t good for you because you don’t want to be alone 😭
Crying along with you. When I got divorced, this song came out and I would just sit there and cry and play it over and over and cry. I am better now. It took a minute. I loved that poem. I am glad my kids were grown.
I feel you - the pain is real. Sometimes it just sucks that it has to be this way, when it could’ve been better if the other person had been more decent.
I really regret my decision of watching this video while on the subway I am a wreck omggg
Sending you love! 💕
Lots of hugs 🤗 🤗🤗😘
Are you in NYC? That’s the beauty of this city, you can be on the subway sobbing and it’s okay. I’ve cried on the subway and watched so many people too. Let it out!! Sending you so much ❤
I'm not, I'm all the way in Portugal but I will definitely start letting it out more! 💕
you are so strong mere💗 we love u
I don’t always feel that way but thank you! Love you so❤❤
This song just makes me emotional every time I sing to it
I just feel it so hard on my heart and just wishing ur man was better than what he’s doing I think most women can relate and wanting better for themselves but still having the hurt of knowing it was special once ❤️🩹 Thank you for reacting and showing pure emotion 💖 I cried with u 💖
Oh Emma, yes to everything you wrote ❤❤❤❤
The power of Taylor s music and lyricism..hope you're doing ok...it's ok to cry....
I stumbled across you tonight as I'm battling insomnia and I so wanted to give you a hug.
I'm a single mom also for almost 11 years now. My ex couldn't accept my son's autism diagnosis and how severe it affects our son's life. He has chosen not to have any contact with our son for 10 years now. And that is completely a choice because he doesn't see the joy that our son has and the simple things in life. He only saw the bad with the autism and never the good that could come with it.
I'm not one of those parents who believes that autism is a kept autism is super hard and will always be super hard. It has stolen a lot of things from my child, but it's also giving him this childlike Joy that most people in the early 20s no longer possess.
It's really hard being a single parent and it's really hard to set those boundaries and do what's right for your child.
I love Taylor's writing and I love how she writes from her own experiences. I love that her songs are filled with emotion and true reaction to what life is.
One thing that I always have to remind myself of during a break-up is that I still have all of me. When you're in a relationship, especially a long term relationship with marriage and children, it's so easy to get into the mindset of being two halves and so when that relationship breaks down you feel like you've lost half of yourself, but you haven't... you are whole. You are complete. You may not feel that now because you don't have the person you want(ed) but in time you'll realise that you are the person you need and that the person you lost was an extension, not the foundation.
Some Taylor-isms to leave you with:
"Gained the weight of you to lose it, believe me I could do it"
"She lost him but she found herself and somehow that was everything"
"May your heart remain breakable but never by the same hand twice"
We love you Mere 💖
I cried right there with you Mere as I listened to that song again. She sings it beautifully and it really cuts too. I hope you are doing okay and know that we love you!
Thank you! I’m doing alright! Thank you for all the ❤❤❤
I was at the show when she played this live, it ruined me. It is such an unbelievably powerful and heartbreaking song.
I love your emotional realness ❤ Any one of us females who have been through this with a boyfriend or husband/ Ex-husband feels the pain of these words “ I just miss you and wish you were a better man” ironically so true!
Your amazing & the pain never leaves but lessons over time until it tears it’s ugly head when you least expect it. Just know your son is blessed because he has you & that’s everything!! ❤
Thank you so much for these words! I’m crying again. I know I’m doing the right then but it still hurts and I do miss him but he should be a better man. It feels so simple but still so hard for them. Sending you ❤❤❤
@@mendwithmere he / they should be a better man but that’s only something they can choose. You’re the better person putting your child first even when it hurts you, I know what that’s like I’ve been there but you are truly giving your child a gift and example of what real love is! It’s good to cry and feel the emotion because only then can you start to let it go even when you feel like it never will but it will because your facing it head on. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ right back at you 1000 times. 🥰
I never clicked so fast cause this is one of my favorite songs of Taylor’s! First off, I’m sorry for what your going through and thank you for always being so vulnerable and open 💜 sending you good energy and prayers.
I know this song still makes me cry when I really sit with myself and the lyrics and it’s funny (well not really) because I know it’s about a relationship but I can’t help but relate it to my father and how broken our relationship or lack of one is and I can’t help but wonder sometimes if he was a better man what kind of impact that would have had in life…if I would have known less pain. I don’t know. I won’t ever know I think. But I know my worth and the beauty of music how it can be interpreted in so many different ways and that’s the beauty of it. 💜
I feel this so deeply in my bones. I can absolutely see how you would wonder about the impact of your father in your life if he’d been better and please know that you did deserve less pain and someone who was present for you. This is what concerns me with my sons father and his lack of effort in his life. It’s so sad. I don’t get it and probably never will. Sending you so much ❤
@@mendwithmere thank you so much for those kind words! And all I can recommend from being a kid that was put between a nasty divorce between my parents and my dad pretty much abandoning after that just be there for your son and remind him it’s not his fault and he is enough. I’m sure you already know that though as an amazing therapist you are 💜
“She would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying.” Idk why this quote from one of my favorite books always reminds me of this song and without going into the plot too heavily I think it’s just amazing to recognize that you do love someone but because of their past traumas they can’t be a “better man” for you and even though it’s not their fault or your fault for not being able to heal them it still hurts and sometimes walking away is the best thing to do. Hope you’re doing okay this song can be a rough one to listen to 🫶🏻
Rough listen but such a good release and yes, those quote is everything!
What book is that quote from?? It’s great.
@@BareBohemianBeauty it’s from the six of crows duology by Leigh Bardugo I think it’s from the last book.
As a happily divorced dad of 29 years, watching you react to this, it hurts. But I get it. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, I couldn't eat, it was difficult to go to certain places in my small city because it would remind me of her. But Mere, trust me, it gets better, it really does.
Just one more thing, I was asked by a friend as I was in the middle of my heated divorce, if I could do it all over again, would I still marry her, and my answer was... "absolutely! Because if I didn't I wouldn't have my wonderful daughter! She was the best thing that came from my marriage!"
Oh Bruce, I was wondering if I’d hear from you! Thank you for sharing this. It does help to hear it’ll get better and I love my son more than anything and very grateful for him. I just didn’t want to do the parenting alone but I’m getting used to it. Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤
@@mendwithmere, I ran into one of my ex's coworkers husband about a year after my divorce, and he too was recently divorced, and he asked me how I'm doing, and and I told him, "I'm doing alright, sometimes I cry myself to sleep, and that's ok" and he asked me "how many months of therapy did it take to realize that?" and I answered, "none, I didn't go to therapy, I realized it by myself"
I too was afraid of being a single parent, but something just kicked in and I just became this super dad. I did all the school field trips, I volunteered with her school choir, I took her to her dance lessons, I chaperoned with the dance studio to trips to Disneyland. So, if I could do it, no doubt in my mind that you can do it! You've got this!
yep, I'm crying too. had never heard this song paying real attention and now i see how i relate to it. this hurt a lot and I'm thankful i have therapy in an hour
I hope this channel mends you as well as it mends all of us. Thankyou for being vunerable and showing us that there's so much strength in vunerability. You really are mending the world one video at the time. Please know you are so loved and appeciated by many. Please don't feel pressure to upload when you've got a lot of things going on, we'll wait for you. ❤
Anne! It is absolutely mending me! This has been so unexpectedly therapeutic and I’m so grateful for the love and possibility that I’m helping other people. Sending you ❤
Thanks for covering Taylor’s anything and everything ❤ she’s heartfelt & genuine (and of course genius!)! I’m in my early 60s and cannot get enough of her.
And when you get teary eyed it just makes me want to cry more. But that’s a good thing. God Bless 😇
More strength for you mere!!
Thank you!
you are so strong and an idol of your child i wish all moms be like you
that means SO MUCH! I’d do anything for him
@@mendwithmere youre deserving so much kindness in the world i appreciae you im watching all of your videos
Dear Mere, I have been struggling for years with being able to be vulnerable and let my feelings exist and be expressed as they wash over me, instead of just pushing it all away. Seeing your honest vulnerability helps me be more compassionate with myself. Thank you
I really needed to hear this, thank you. I’m going through a divorce as well at age 21. We were only married a year but he was emotionally abusive to me. The signs weren’t there at the beginning he just became this person I didn’t know. I sometimes ask myself that WHY question as well. That’s why this song hits hard. Thanks for opening up.
I hope you are okey and happy now 💕
Love you, Mere, and I’m so proud of you for taking a stand for you and your son. This video broke my heart, not because of the song so much, but your reaction was so hard to watch. Seeing you try to hold back tears feeling and knowing inside that you wanted to turn the video off and just break the f**k down. Because you couldn’t run, or felt like you couldn’t run and didn’t wanna let us down (I wouldn’t have blamed you a damn bit had you stepped back and turned it off), it was then I started seeing you have not only a deeply emotional and psychological response, but holding those tears back caused a strong physiological response. I noticed a light sweat sheen forming on your face, then you getting even more hot and pulling at the neck of your sweater and shoving your sleeves up just wishing the song to be over. Just know, it’s okay to cry and we all love and support you 💯! P.S.-Can’t wait for my shirt to come in! Sending you love and light!
I came here while looking for Taylor's video - and I am so glad I did! Few things are more difficult than grieving the loss of someone who is still alive. As a fellow single mom (of 5) I salute you. We are warriors. We do it because we have no choice. 💗 It gets easier, I promise.
You are a very strong, bold woman!
Remember to look at what was and is, not what you hoped for. No need to grieve for something that never happened except in your mind. It’s very difficult on us to judge people - partners, friends - on what we feel they “could be”… that’s a construct of us, not a reality. Seeing people in real terms, black and white, actions not words - that shit is hard but so worth it. Agree it’s interesting what we tolerate for ourselves but would not tolerate as an example for our child.
You are speaking the absolute TRUTH! This song brought up those feelings about what could have been but I’m happy now to let that go bc, like you said, it never existed. Wow, thank you!❤
I would love to see you react to “Sad, Beautiful Tragic”. It is my all time favourite song
This is the song that inspired me to leave my toxic and abusive addict husband!!! I always say Taylor saved my life and my kids lives… I’m 100% too. I don’t even miss him I miss the idea, the hope, the promise of a life I will never get to have now.
I love that you are so genuine in all your videos. Thank you so much for doing these reactions, even when it hits deep. Sending you virtual hugs and support 🤍
Thank you❤❤❤
The poem on grief you referenced reminded me so much of Bigger Than The Whole Sky
I just wanna give you the biggest hug. I love you and your content so much.
I just discovered your channel but I really love it. You speak so eloquently … thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it helps!
This is one of my favorites of hers. Thanks for unpacking it.I'm so sorry you are going through it. Iv'e been there and it's so hard.
i love these videos of yours so much. SO MUCH. my group of friends watch your videos as well even though they're not huge swifties, we like to hear your opinions as a therapist since we're psychology students aspiring to be like you. cheers from Manila! 🤗
I just finished my first relationship in life. It was with a narcisit person and this song has helped a lot during my healing process. I just want to say that it really helps to feel validated by your reaction to the song! Thank you so much!
I'm sorry for what you're going through and have gone through. My mother was also a single mom and never had co-parenting support of any kind. My father became estranged eventually. I was 5-years old when I last saw him. That was about 45 years ago now. I still live with the repercussions of my parents bad decisions...
This song has wrecked me since Little Big Town did it. I sobbed at midnight of Red TV release night. It was the first song I went too.
Sometimes you have to feel sad to be happy 😊
This song is so touching, I'm so happy she decided to give us this version ❤ the first part immediately brings me to tears, so well-written.
Can we have some more Phoebe Bridgers and also Florence and the Machine? 🥺 Hope you're doing well, love u ❤
I am doing well, that was a total release for me! Yes! More to come from other artists. I did a reaction to Kyoto with my nephew but he doesn’t want me to post it 😩
Love YOU
@@mendwithmerehappy to know you're well ❤ and please, try to convince your nephew 😂
I'm a daughter of a highly functioning alcoholic, who was able to stay years with no drinking and then fall into a week long spree. The trauma that he inflicted on our family and the inreperable damage that he did to us as his kids was not worth the years of being a good father. You did the best thing you could for you child and yourself as well.
Understanding why people do things can be so hard at times, because you sorta loose sight of what you're bringing to the relationship and all you do then is keep understanding. Its so brave of you to be so open about your vulnerability, I know how hard it is to talk about something as its happening, and I hope you're doing well. Love you and your videos so much, you make me feel heard and I feel like I'm talking to myself when I watch your videos. love you
Love you back. It is hard talking while going through it and I just want people to feel that they can do that too. We carry so much unnecessary shame. So glad you enjoy the videos❤
You are a brave strong woman. Love your reactions. Much love from the UK 🇬🇧
It is okay to cry. I have a similar background as you and this song was a huge trigger. Dont forget how amazing you are ❤❤❤
I love hearing Taylor again! She's so real and honest. This song is very personal to me too as it seems to be to you as well. I also have been divorced after a 20 year marriage and we share kids. You're right about the grief. ❤
How did you get through it? It’s so very hard. Sending you so much❤
Grief such a strange burden of possibilities I remember the shock to my system when I realized we'd never have a 50th anniversary -not something that is at all important to me now but, oh my! It was then, everything was hitting hard then
Much love to you I know it doesnt feel like it but, youve got this
Prayers for you! 🙏🏻
I’ll take every single one of them!❤
thank you !!!! id like to warp you into a big hug!! you are a very strong person, being here as someone who usually is the leader and the shoulder as a therapist it takes a lot of courage to let yourself show emotions
you're amazing! cry, laugh, be sad, be happy, but be yourself always❤
I’m so sorry about you going thru divorce. It’ll suck for awhile for you’ll come out of this better.
Grieving the loss of what it could have been. But don’t skip over the grief-you’ll get thru it and life WILL be better. Love ya ❤
His loss. You are amazing. Have a Swift day.
I feel your pain lady 😭 and yes those decisions are very difficult 😞
Thank you so much for this video! First of all, I am so sorry that you're going through all this but I also admire you so much! You are so brave to be so vulnerable in front of us even though you could have edited all this! Your reactions are natural and vulnerable! Thank you for your honesty❣️I love this song and I was waiting for you to put out more reactions to Taylor's music! Your videos on Taylor's songs made me fall in love with her music even more and understand her on a whole different level! Please make more reactions to Taylor's songs! Especially exile and 'The last time'! Pretty please!!!❤️
Yes! Thank you so much. I often think about editing out but I’m being raw and I want to see more of that in the world. I have exile, nothing new, and champagne problems coming!
Thanks for making these videos, been a Swiftie since 2017(and a die hard fan of lyrical pop) and you just keep on giving us further context on her music!!! Keep serving.
I am very proud of you! And I really understand how you feel and what this song means to me. It’s not easy. Stay strong and it’s okay to feel emotional. I wish you nothing but love and strength ❤️
I always watch your videos and I like them so much!
I adore this song so much. I had never heard the song until Taylor's Version and it's the only version i still really like at all. It's so beautiful and emotional. I did hear Carrie Underwood's "Starts With Goodbye" years ago and this song reminds me a lot of that one though. That song though actually applies a lot more to me going No Contact/ cutting off all contact with my abusive, narcissistic (& other issues) mother. This "Better Man" song is so interesting because while it is about how the bravest thing is leaving, this one is so much more about the guy she's leaving behind and how much she misses him and still grieves him and a more specific dynamic about how things were sweet at the beginning and he would "push [her] love away like it was a loaded gun" (love that line SO much!!). To me the guy she's describing is someone with a lot more to grieve and miss than what I went through with my mom. So all this about Taylor's song here makes me think instead much more of people I've dated. I'm an asexual woman and my dating life isn't that similar to straight women's, i also date people of all genders but when i date our dynamic is never very normative... but still i find myself relating to so much of this song, like dating partners with avoidant attachment style who push my love away like it was a loaded gun, and thinking about what could've been if only one little thing was different and they were more ready, more emotionally healed from their own trauma. I just. I find this song so so emotional and powerful and I'm so glad to see a reaction from you, someone who clearly gets it on such a deep level. Some reactors just don't have any personal experience to relate to when they hear it. And it really makes a difference.
I love how you described that Taylor is so direct and that's a big part of the power of her writing, how she gets to the core of what exactly we're feeling and thinking in these moments. She's so specific in an amazingly relatable and powerful way. I adore her writing.
Lots and lots of power to you superwoman❤
Everything will be fine, love your reaction from 🇻🇳 VietNam
Thank you for sharing and posting your vulnerability; I'm sure it wasn't easy but it will help so many to not feel alone. On a lighter note, I can't get over how much you look like Taylor in this video! The makeup, the lighting, the hair style, you're beautiful and could easily be her sister. Wishing better days to you and your child.
Say whaaaaat?😂 that’s a HUGE compliment. I’ve always love a cat eye :) sending you so much ❤
Hugs. I'm also a single mom going through a divorce. Lots of empathetic love.
Wow. I just found you tonight and I love All Too Well but was interested in your reaction to this. When it came out I too didn’t realize it was a TS song. But the words cut me deep too. Watching your reaction I KNEW….this momma has felt this. Because your reaction was mine when I first heard this song years ago. And if they were just better we could have still been good right? Hugs to you momma ❤️
Wow your hair looks great this day 🥹
and as I was typing this you’ve started crying and now I have empathy tears😢
I hurt for you the entire video and almost stopped it. I know finishing would be good for your views and also I was hoping to see you through it. You are an inspiration. Looking forward to exploring your new book, as well!
Hi Mere,
I just wanted to speak as a child that was left by her father when I was just 6 years old, in the hope this perspective might help.
My Mum was left to parent a 6 and an 8 yr old 100%. He never wanted to be a father, was a terrible husband and when he was around he was angry. My mum was broken when she found out he was cheating and told him to leave. He left and never wanted to be a father anymore either. She was broken, but then realised she was happy that the man that resented the 3 people he’s supposed to love most in this world, was gone. No more trauma. No more battling, begging for love. No more praying for change. This was the man. A change of heart and behaviour would be a different person altogether; and if this man embodied what we wanted and needed him to be, it would all be a lie. Our life would be a lie and, although the truth and the true man hurt to come to terms with, the 3 of us could go on to build an honest and happy life, filled with love… and peace! And this is what we did.
I want you to know there is hope and there is happiness and honesty ahead of you. And so much love! You get to build a kingdom from the ruins.
Sending you love, peace and happiness ❤
Oh mere my heart goes with you 😢❤❤
Pat pat! Everything is gonna be fine:) You're great and I love watching your videos and it's been something that motivates and inspires me to become a better person! You deserve the best!
This song hits close to home for a lot of us, I think, and we’re not actively dealing with a situation like yours. It’s just very real. I’m sorry that you related so intensely, as beautiful as her music is, sometimes it really fucking hurts. Do love your honest reactions ♥️
She needs to listen to Mitski!! So many great, deep lyrics. There’s a lot to analyze
I keep getting that recommendation!
@@mendwithmere it’s really worth it!! People are right hehe, she’s incredible
Songs I would recommend starting with, and I would really love to hear your take on:
Brand new city
I bet on losing dogs
Nobody
Class of 2013
First love/late spring
Her lyrics are usually very raw, poetic, reflective and, honestly, sad. And it’s pure art
Also, I tried recommending one from each album for this
Id really push two other red vault tracks, one is nothing new, but also Forever winter, which is about her friend who died aged 21. Glad you are back on Taylor too!!
Hi!! I did forever winter and BALLED! I’m doing nothing new very soon!❤
@@mendwithmere oh great!
@@mendwithmere oh god, i didn't mean great topic wise, just great you did it 😬🙈
One single mom to another- it’ll be okay. You’re not alone. Stay strong.
Subscribing! This was a beautifully sad and open reaction. Sending hugs
I'm going through some, that song is really hitting the shit out of me
Right?!? Glad we are in the same boat❤
i relate to this song so much
Need to hear you do You’re losing me by Taylor 😢
Wow! Very powerful. This is an emotional song. Thanks for sharing your story with us, it may help guide people with similar struggles and maybe was something you sidnt know you needed to get off your chest ❤️
Hi Mere, very brave to share that with us. I love your channel. I just graduated and have my master in clinical psychology. Really like your analysis. Keep up the good work. Question.. can I order a t-shirt? I live in The Netherlands (Europe).❤
Ughhhh. Thank you mereee this is one of my favourite dongs by taylor idk it's smtg about the guitar her high notes that make the song one a person who has went nothing cry too.
❤❤❤
I don't have much to say that other people haven't already said, but ILY Mere, and since you've made it a safe space for us, it's also a safe space for you to just...talk! Therapists need release too, and as you well know, crying is a wonderful release :) sending all the good energy and vibes
Every video I see of yours I like your channel more. you are a good person, I loved discovering you.
kisses from Brazil❤
You should do a side by side of Taylor’s version of this song and little big and how the sound different
I like LBT's version... But, Taylors.. TORE. ME. APART. I love it. And now, I can't stop crying.
i felt everything with you. all the way.... going through something similar
I love your channel so much. These videos are so comfortable because you're so honest and valnurable with us so thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts❤
We love you so much keep going cause it seems like an outlet for you too. We're no judging you and I know it's hard to share these kind of things. You're such a brave woman it's obvious but take care of yourself. And if you ever feel like you don't want to react to sth it's totally fine we understand💛
Btw you're so beautiful and I think everyone needs someone like you in their life:)
Sending you^^❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for being so vulnerable. It's a beautiful, courageous thing to do. When you feel ready, if you haven't yet, make a video reacting to "it's time to go" by Taylor Swift, as well. It has a similar message but is more general in making hard choices ton put yourself and those you love first. Wishing you the very best
That hurts
❤
I am sobbing