Real Families: Forced Adoption Confession
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มี.ค. 2020
- This episode of "Family Secrets" follows the story of a woman who as a teenager was forced to give up her first-born son for adoption. Still haunted by her decision thirty-six years later, she faces a roller coaster of emotions as her eldest daughter prepares for the birth of her first child.
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I know how she feels. I gave my daughter up in 97. I went through depression had anxiety felt worthless. When she turned 18 she found me it was the happiest day if my life.
country girl 904 I am so happy for you! I am glad that you had a wonderful out come !
@@rebeccaperkins9638 thank you. My daughter made me a Grammy in 2018.
Weirdly close to my story as an adoptee, but my “mom” ended up being a HORRIBLE person and my first kid was born in 2017.
@@haleypolk4433 so sorry your mom ended up being bad.
country girl 904 my parents are great but my bio went off the rails after my birth and I don’t recognize anything of me in her.
i know how she feels, i had my 1st born son adopted in 83, not a day passed without me thinking about him, for years i have battled with depression etc. My Eldest son found me last year, still waiting to see him and my 3 grandkids.
I got pregnant in 1967...my mother made sure I gave my baby girl up because it was tabu to get pregnant without marriage. She made me go to à home for unwed mothers. I found my daughter in the late '90's. She had good parents and for that I am grateful but I was given no choice..I wouldn't have given my baby up. My mom used guilt to get her way.
Why haven't you meet him yet?
Best wishes for your first meeting. He may need to know you want to see him…don’t lose track.
I would love to see an update on this woman! I pray she found her son and had a wonderful reunion!
I was a teen mom, I had my daughter at 19. I was lucky that my Mom told me if I want to keep the baby she would help me. I can’t imagine having to give up my child. My daughter is turning 22 this month and is pregnant with her first child. I’m glad she waited until she was older. She is married, owns her house and is a paralegal. I hope this lady gets to build a relationship with her birth son.
I am glad your Mom was there to help raise your daughter.
@@terrykelly6113 thank you, she really made a huge difference in my daughter’s life. I also had the help of my aunt who babysat when I went back to school. I was very lucky!!
I also had my son at 19 but I had a loving mother who help me i don't know what I would have done without my mother help I never can pay her what she did for me so thank you mother for being there for me she even raise him as her son love him just like I did he is a grown man now but I'm always thankful to my loving mother
My girlfriend and her daughter just found each other. I have never seen her grin so bright in the 20 years I have known her.
I pray that she finds her son and that they have a happy reunions🙏🏽
I think she did since she's been calling him Kevin & she said (near the end of the video), "I missed the first 36 years of his life..." Leads me to believe there's more to this episode.
I thought this was a video about her FINDING her son not about her becoming a grandmother 🙄
Ll
@@mizbuggy but she might mean she has so far missed 36 years of his life..
@@mizbuggy yes, it sounded like she found him but he was not yet ready to meet. It looked like the time/date stamp on baby pic was 11/25/2002.
I also had a baby in 1965. I was 16. I kept him. I was determined to keep him
You did an incredibly brave thing - it was not easy in those days - hope you have both had a great life together.
Wow congratulations. It takes a lot of grit to keep your baby at 16 years old. Your son/daughter does nnn ot have to search for you or wonder why they were given up.
Much Respect to You ...It Proves that it was Possible at that Time ..You Did the right Thing .
@@laceylocket1 Thankyou 🌷
Awesome
My great aunt on my biological father's side adopted me. So I guess I'm kind of fortunate enough to know half of my biological family.
I can’t possibly fathom the hurt she must feel.
The daughter could have shown more class in describing what had happened with her mother in the beginning. I think people can use nice words and a better way to express themselves. I’m glad everything worked out.
It bothered me to hear the daughter say maybe her baby would maybe help her mom with her longing for her adopted baby. Like, what? Your mom wants HER child. Her grandchild is not a replacement for her son. She longs for HER child, and that won't go away till she finds him.
she was joking!.
Kevin,your mom is so beautiful.She is so respectful and humble.I know all will be fine and easy to manage...don't let her wait more.
Remember,their parents forced her to do something against her will☹I can imagine how difficult is for her to wait so long.Hope this have a happy ending
19 is of age even back then .This is sad .Thankful I fought to keep my baby .I was 18 .Best fight I ever fought and won .Be strong 💪
Such a lovely lady. I hope her son decides to meet her.
Your baby is so adorable. My mother always told me children are gifts from God. When you look at those picture of the baby you look at heaven.
Her daughter is very sarcastic and doesn't care if she finds her son
I also hope that she finds her first born son & they have a happy ever after life shared together!
I hope she finds Kevin. Long story short, i had to give my son up for adoption in 1971 when I was 17. I found him in 1998 and we have the most normal mother/son relationship you could imagine. Him and my other 3 children are close, everyone loves each other and he calls me mom.
reconciliation. Hi is adoptive parents supportive of your contact?
I am so happy you found each other
@@terrykelly6113 Not at all. His mother says I invaded her privacy. His dad doesn't care one way or the other.
@@jacobsnana98 sorry to hear that. Some parents think they own their children, she probably feels threatened. That's not your problem but I would be better if she honored his natural desire to learn his origins
I feel for these ladies. Back in 1967 and 68 when my sister age 17, then my brother age 16 found themselves expecting my parents supported them in getting married and keeping their babies. It was beyond my parents wildest dreams to be grandparents even though they were young, 34 and 39. Not for one minute was giving these babies up even considered. I was the proudest auntie at the age of 12! My sister and her husband worked graveyard shift together so that little baby slept with ME and I was able to also care for her after school. Then my nephew that came along nine months later...I got to live with my brother's family for the entire summer and care for him. It was the BEST summer I ever had. He died of SIDS at the age of 7 months and 3 days. I am so fortunate to have gotten to spend almost half of his short life with just him and me. UPDATE: My sister was married almost ten years, had two more children, then her husband died when he was only thirty years old. My brother and his wife had another baby and stayed married. This September they will celebrate 53 years together.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank the Lord that the adoption system and the way society views illegitimate birth, has changed. Forcing mothers to hide their pregnancy and give up their child to never see or hear from them again, is barbaric. Now, there are open, partially open, and closed adoptions. A mother always longs for her child, and a person always wonders where they came from. I pray she found Kevin. 🙏🏻❤
Regardless of mother or father, I support more and more OPEN adoptions. The police should help too
There is no such thing as an illegitimate child. Just using that word carries stigma
Hopefully her son will make the next step and reconnect with his birth mother. She can't do anymore but pray. He knows how to contact her whenever he is ready.
I wonder if Kevin decided to contact her. I have learned how protective many adopted children are afraid of hurting them, so they need to think about it. This mom would have done everything in her power to raise this boy given the chance.
I am watching this on the 21st of November. So it is nearly the baby girls birthday. I hope that you found Kevin so that he knew he was an uncle.
My mother told me I had to have an abortion so I would not bring shame on the family. I am now 66. I have never married or had children because I was so traumatized. I had to drive the 50 miles to and from the clinic alone in a snow/ice storm. 2 weeks before Christmas.
I am so sorry for this sad situation. Please call on the Lord for comfort because He cares for you.
And she calls herself a mother !
I'm so sorry
PLEASE give us an update? It’s been 18 years! 🙏🏽
No update yet and now it has been 22 years. 😞
So sad. A mothers longing to see her son. Living in regret... wondering... waiting.
Is there a follow up? For this story.
In regards to opening the records, I feel mixed on that tbh. It assumes all parties *want* to be found. Some may prefer that anonymity. If anything, 1) those in the records should be contacted to find out which they would prefer, and give those mothers the choice they never had, and 2) make any medical information in those records available to the child
@chaneliswell89 Wilson that's different though, and there are other things that could be done to prevent that from happening, such as sending people redacted forms about their family and medical histories, including information about existing siblings. Once they reach adulthood those redacted forms could be checked by a records official to confirm a couple is not related if they were trying to get married or enter a common law marriage when a couple includes an adoptee(s). Something like this would, again, allow the privacy of, say, the parent who wants to remain anonymous, but allow their children the right to know their background.
@@writerspen010 Once you know your sibling, you have the door wide open to your birth parents!
@@writerspen010 How is "the system" going to know about 1/2 siblings born after that adopted child? The parents may marry, remarry and have children by more than one spouse/partner. There are stories if 1st cousins marrying because they didn't know that they were related. Yes there needs to be some protection in place, but there still needs to be better access. Now that we are able to learn more about genetic diseases, a child is entitled to know about them.
As an adoptee placed at birth, I didn’t consent to separation. Why should I respect a “contract” that didn’t consider my rights? My bio family lives 20 minutes from me, I’m just finding this out and it’s disturbing. I even applied for jobs at the same place my bio mom works. The thought of these is sickening and secrecy is more important than birth right. I’m praying I’ve never dated any “family” members. Why should I have to live this way?
The footage of the new grandchild was taken in 2002, more than 20 years ago. That baby is all grown up and could soon present this woman with her first great-grandchild! I wonder how she's doing, and whether she ever met her son. She gave him up for adoption many decades ago, back in the late 1960s.
I have seen many of these stories . That women has a piece of her self that is missing. A piece of her heart......and whether the son knows it consciously or not, is in the same situation. This is a sad sad story.
There needs to be a Part 2 letting us know if she met her son or not.
What a beautiful baby . Congratulations to you all. She's beautiful. Waller in this happiness grandma.
My thoughts go out to the family
Breaking my heart 💙 that this mother and all mother's was made to give up her their child because of parents and just because of the embarrassment that it brought the family. Times were so different in the 1960's.
I would love to see an update and hopefully she found the son she was looking for.
Hope she had a happy ending. Would've loved to see a reunion.
I want my daughter to come to me with anything and everything.....I m here for her....I m here for him....I ll be here for them both and I ll support them....
One day You will find each other. 💕
Would love to see an update too !
I got pregnant at 15 yrs old and was 16 by the time I delivered my son. My parents push me to give him up for adoption which I sign papers and there was a couple already to take him. I told my mom no! I'm not giving up my baby! So she found a guy at church that was 21 and she said if u don't give the baby up then u get married. I didn't care just as long as I got to keep my baby. That was in 1978 and my son is now 45. He was born on Feb 4th just like this woman's son. I'm so thankful I got to keep my son. I was one of the lucky one.
How was your husband do he gave love to your son
How are you now
Is there a 2nd part?
I personally think that parents or family should always be allowed contact with babies that are adopted out. It would make life so much easier.
They do now, it is called an open adoption. Closed adoptions are very uncommon. Birth parents choose the families they want to parent their babies through an agency. Most change their mind after the baby is born.
Pick up that blends Greys growing out
I have mixed feelings. I think it should be up too the child. If they want to meet the biological parents.
It is ultimately up to the child. That's what my mom tought me. And yes. She IS my mom. She raised me my whole life.
Neither one of our adopted children have any interest in meeting their biological families (international adoptions). I have encouraged it and offered our help, but so far, they have no desire to do so. The only mother they want is me, and their father as well. Hopefully, they might change their minds. It is totally up to them.
@@51Saffron butwhy do you say "hopefully" they'll change their mind? Why would it change anything for you if they decided to find their birthparents?
I can not imagine having done these things to my daughter's. When they told me they were pregnant I was super excited!!!!!
I can’t imagine the feelings of resentment that must have been felt in regards to the parents who forced the giving up of a child.
Really hope that she is reunited with her son
My heart breaks for this woman. Forced to surrender a child will never end well. You can see her sadness and hear it in her voice. I hope her son is found and can understand his birth mothers dilemma giving no choice from her family. I hope his life was/is wonderful and this woman can have a relationship with him of some sort.
Pretty much my story though when I met my bio mother mother I got very angry and berated her
Open records? I've seen before my own eyes a mother who was looking for the son she gave up. She went up and down and managed to find him after 30 years, but it turned out - he didn't know he was adopted at all. He was very proud to be who he was, his history, hus bloodline, he already had kids of his own. And after he found out it was all a lie - he felt betrayed and ended up viciously hating his birth-mom for storming in and ruining the life he knew. He told her to her face he wished he'd never seen her, never gotten that phonecall, never got that talk with his parents. He said she was a complete stranger to him and he feels nothing towards her, other than hatred for coming into his stable, good life with her selfish reasons and stupid guilt-complex and completely destroying everything he knew of himself.
Just sayin'...
Not all of these stories go well...
He should have been mad at his adoptive parents for lying to him.
Reminds me of the story of the one mother who’s baby was literally stolen from her in the hospital, and years later they finally found her but the daughter defended the person who literally stole her and refused to have anything to do with her birth mother. It was the most messed up thing ever, and I don’t understand how anyone could be that heartless towards someone who wanted to take care of them and raise them, but didn’t have much of a choice for whatever circumstance there was at the time.
Surely he would have needed his birth certificate at some point ?
Now a days we have DNA. In my family alone, we have been contacted by 2 people. One was adopted out at birth, and no one knew. Another always thought she was raised by her biological dad until she wanted to find out her heritage and found out she wasn't related to him. So whether records are open or not, you can be found. It just may take more work. In Washington State an adoptee can get their original birth certificate, with the birthmothers name on it. That's how one of our family members found us.
I’m dying I want to know what happen after 2002😣
I am so glad we dont live in 1965..and teen moms are proud
I had a baby in 1965 when I was 16. I kept him.
ID love to have all my kids back in my in my life but in order to this the past has stay to the past or we wont make it in life to be happy
Crazy that baby turns 19 this year
Is there part 2??
My birth mother has no interest in me at all. She was quite firm that she had no interest, she was very cold and I found she gave away her 2 year old as just too much of a disruption to her life. That made me very very sad
I didn't appreciate the daughter's gross and disrespectful question at the beginning of the tape.
Very disrespectful
It was gross when the daughter implied her soon to be born baby could help her mom not long for her adopted son. Yeah...not how that works.
Sweet!
To the mommy to be. That's how I learned everything about being a mommy. Books. My children are grown, beautiful and thriving adults. I praise God for them. ❤❤❤ congratulations
This is what my mom did too..i found her several years ago
It is sad . The daughters joy of talking of her coming child. Was interrupted. By baggage and sadness of her own mother's past mistakes. Everything in her life. Her Mom's steals with a past memory of her experience. Let the girl enjoy her life. Geez.
To grandma to be, I pray you can talk with your daughter about the good memories 🙏 past and present when you were pregnant with her. She deserves happiness while she's pregnant. As a parent I would focus on the beautiful things to come ✨️
This video was made 19 years ago.....I don’t think she ever found her son or there would have been an update. SO sad :(
ID never did hurt ant of my kids Proven fact it was 1 daughter didnt have a great life from what I have heard her went sour tomatoes is was by her choice im not sure its real sad
This is so sad! I remember when friends of mine had to leave town and while the parents made excuses, then suddenly she came back, usually very depressed. So horribly sad. The “lucky” girls were got married when they weren’t ready and were way to young to be married to some poor guy who wasn’t ready either. I know some lucky kids who had parental support during the early days of their marriage, which sometimes meant that one of the couple, usually the man, was able to continue school. The past was the worst.
And of course the boy who got her pregnant had no consequences whatsoever. Holding her alone responsible is ridiculous, as is expecting her to forget about her child.
Has there been an update ?
Any update on if she found her son?
Back in the 60's and decades before that, unwed mothers were shunned and treated shamefully. I'm glad to see things are changing. I had a coworker who kicked the daughter out of their house for getting pregnant. Thankfully, after the baby was born, a relative got them to reconcile. That grandchild is loved by the grandparent and will never know how his mom was treated (unless she tells him). I don't understand how a new life can be shameful.
When a child was born to an unved mother in the 60thies it was a shame.It was another time and fortunality things are different today.
Is there a follow up, did the son comes to his mom?
I just watched this in 2024. I can't believe that was back in 2002, and that baby girl (the granddaughter) turned 21 last November. Then her son Kevin should be 58 this year and the mom is 78 now. 😯 So what's the update?
The reunions are not always happy endings sadly 😔
...I hope it works out for her.
I pray he wants to meet his mon soon
That baby is almost 20 now!!
It's awfully sad to see that still families shun unwed mothers
What horrible parents , to give up a grandson, just like that!
Different time, different social values, and different society.
Eric Clapton's family dealed with this situation in a very elegant way: the grandparents said that their daughter's kid (Eric Clapton) was their son an, of course, his mother became his sister.
This must be from 2002. I wonder if she ever found her son.
my baby was put up for adoption by my mother,and with out my consent,i know i was young but it was my decision not hers.she was a very abusive mother,and did it out of spite because she new there was nothing i could do.my heart was so broken,i never got over it.she tormented me,and to this day i have and will never be close to her.the pain i went threw was the worst pain of my life.my i found my son 18 years later,and the bond was so there,but some of the family would not except him,and i have lost him over and over again.so i just leave him alone and let him live his life,,it was the hardest thing to let him go again,but i have to do what is best for him
I pray for you and you son. I'm so sorry you went through that. My son was born when I was 15, my mother was great it was my choice. I kept him and never regret that decision. He's 24 and a great kid.
I was 15 also and was raped by a family member but my baby was so wanted and loved.the pain and the anger consumed me.nobody understands that kind of pain unless you have been threw it.i will never forgive my mother
Ahhh... a mother's love never ends. Hang in there, sweetheart! Ever written a long love letter, w the details of when, why, how, and how much you still, will and NEVER stop loving your precious child?
I would highly encourage you to do so... for both of you.
You need your child to know your heart, and there is an empty place in your child's heart to know that it wasn't your fault, you were young, back in the day it was different, right?
This is 2020. Thank God things are different now, right?
Praying for you... from your eternal sister in Christ somewhere near Seattle and around the World...
Stay safe, ok?
Her pregnant daughter is completely self absorbed, snide, flippant & indifferent to her mum's pain 🤢
This doc was made around 2002 I think. Is there an update?
Wow really? I was having a kid in 2002. Some of the things the mom was saying to the pregnant daughter were reminding me of my mother. ( my mom actually dis grab my baby and run. She was not happy i was pregnant as a 20 yo adult and made my life miserable. Then she acted like grandma of the year when i got home. She was suggesting at one point i go into one of those homes like no im 20) i get that the documentary was about her looking for her son the mom was reminded ny her daughters pregnancy. But i kinda felt for the daughter with how the mon kept relating it to her.. You could tell at points she was annoyed. I hope she found her son but also didn't bring up 18 years of comparison
@@jezs8199 I hope you got your son back.
I watched the whole of this looking for a reunion. What a waste of time.
Is there another video where her son found her!?
That granddaughter is about 21 now if this was 2002
20 isnt a teenager
I’m concerned did you find your son and I want an ending for the story? It felt sad that I didn’t get to hear the rest of it. Is there another part to this and how can we find it? Your story was so touching I was forced to have an abortion play an older brother in the 60s and I had to tell the doctors that I was mentally incapable, to have a child, I had a hysterectomy which tells me that it was further along in my pregnancy than I was ever told, and I could never ever look at the birth records to see how old my childhood been before I had a taken from me today and to this day, I am haunted! I pray you have found your son
Seems like part of this is missing.
The daughter isn't very tactile in her words😲
But why giving up a child and adoption is very common with wazungu?
Those days were awful, especially id you had parents that didn't stand by you.
Felt cheated didn't see the reunion.
I can understand parents concerns but to stop all contact? No no no
Where are the fathers of these children & why is the desire to find the father rare??
I think it is because fathers don't want to acknowledge children born out of wedlock. They can deny paternity but DNA makes that difficult. Men are more likely to acknowledge children born within a marriage.
Because men become fathers when they see and hold their kids as they say : away from eyes away from heart
When my daughter started speaking about searching for her birth mom she had my support. I questioned her because most adoptees tend to think first of birth mother. I asked her what if she found her birth father and not the mother, that her father might be looking for her. Well, both birth families were found but mother did not want contact. Father was deceased but my daughter made contact with half-siblings and it has been really good for all of them. They live far apart which is unfortunate. The nice thing for us, the adopted parents, is that we have been forming a wonderful relationship with our daughter's older sister. We now have a bonus daughter and her family.
@@terrykelly6113 It used to be the case that a fathers name could only be on a birth certificate if he was married to the mother. Also in some cases the birth father may have no idea that he has a child out there if the birth mother never told him. Even today a birth certificate can still be signed with only the mothers name and no father listed.
I found the daughter I had to place for adoption. She does not forgive or understand at all. She posts lies about me on social media and has made threats towards me. She has made my life a misery. Yet she doesn't blame her father at all..the one who abandoned me and who, unknown to me, was engaged to someone else while dating me.
Her son is 56 years old now in 2021.In the film she says he is 34 or so?
Any update.
did she find her son?
I Wonder how it did go. This was made in 2002
Hope she found her son. Wht a hurt , she have suffer alot.
Why she cannot find? So sad 😢
I like her daughter😝
Is that when you got yourself knocked up?
😝🍀
I wish we d help these young ladies or any age finding themselves in an unplanned pregnancy who want to keep the baby....we d all be better off in the end
Is it just me or does the mother keep sucking the joy out of her daughter’s pregnancy by comparing it to her pregnancy with Kevin! We know you feel it but PLEASE let her have some good nice memories that aren’t tinged with secondhand guilt!
Has a DNA ancestry test been done?
I think her son has been found but doesn't want to meet just yet
@@missymoomoo182 where did you see that at
She is oddly self centered.
My mom gave up a son in the 40s. We tried to contact him but he wanted nothing to do with it. So...
Wow that is sad. He probably didn't have a very good life. I'm sorry he was so cold, he must not be a very nice person so you are better off
@@randomvintagefilm273 he's the victim. He's the one, that was "given up "
I pray that he will have a change of heart.
I can totally understand him. Why would a person want to get to know totally strangers that they have no feelings for at all, they know they belong with them but they don't feel it. They feel robbed of their families. He probably has had a good life and is not in need of other people anymore at this stage of his life.
@@randomvintagefilm273 on the contrary it seems he has had a wonderful life and is in no need of a bunch of strangers who he has no strings attached to.
I hate how she blames herself as being a teen that got into trouble, how she says her dad predicted it. More than likely, other than it being a simple human mistake, perhaps her dad was over bearing or emotionally unavailable. It’s not JUST her fault. Parenting begets parenting.