There's a Tiktok that even blew my therapist's mind. "The reason you self sabotage is because it allows you to predict what is going to happen, which is giving you the illusion of self control". Luckily I stopped self sabotaging my relationships but I see so much of my younger self in Jackie.
As a Hispanic woman, we have a history of parents or family who raise us with the motto "blood is blood". They can degrade you, disrespect you, abuse you, or not even give you the time of day: but we are still told to forgive and move on because "That's family!" Jackie, I think, is used to that kind of love I was for a long time. I was used to being disrespectful to my partner because I was raised to think THATS how you love someone. If they love you, they'll just move on from the pain they gave u. And I think she may suffer from BPD because I relate to her emotional outbursts so much and I have BPD. She needs help.
You're right, I had an exgf whose father stole her American social security number qnd put her in debt before she was 18. Hes Hispanic and she told me she hated how she felt she had to play nice even after that.
"Often we're not looking for love, we are looking for someone who can hurt us in a familiar way, usually mirroring our relationship with our most difficult parent" ... can't remember where I heard this but oof, it never stops being relevant.
I actually read the Tiffany and Brett situation differently… she seems like she comes from a place where money is a lot tighter and she has to think about it way more often than Brett. I feel like his lifestyle was just jarring for her and she was expressing that insecurity, maybe not in the best way but no one is perfect lmao I’m a Tiff stan if u couldn’t tell
Yup! I agree because a lot of us (black ppl) that come from a lifestyle that is lower or lower middle class; you can grow up to have somewhat of a poverty and scarcity mindset. Especially if you’re fortunate enough as an adult to have money/success. It makes you more aware and you will do what you have to do to prevent losing it. I find myself falling into the mindset and working super hard avoiding that fear and insecurity.
But her calling him Bougie irked me because ppl do that to me often…it’s definitely not cute after the first 3 or 4 times…she better hope he continues to have the patience he displays on the show and doesn’t get sick of her doing that.
@@LBoogie49 people call me bougie and it’s not offensive. We’re not going to act like that’s been a derogatory term. People even made songs bragging about being bougie. It’s not that serious. Y’all are dragging.
Jackie’s toxicity doesn’t take away from Marshalls issues. He has a savior complex and needs to be with someone who he feels is “inferior” to him in some way. If he were to be with someone who was truly emotionally available, it would force him to look at himself.
Yes exactly. He dates these 'messed up' women so he can have that power dynamic of him being the 'mature one' who 'fixes' the other person. So that they feel emotionally obligated to him or something
It was just a series of red flags with marshall bc he sees no issues with himself. At least Jackie knows she self sabotages and has an off familial relationship. Marshall sees himself as the nice guy and doesn't find it at all worth questioning that he keeps dating the same type of women, getting treated the same type of way, and thinking he can "fix them". Self reflection is NEEDED
I think Kwame has been very two faced. She didn’t hear the words that were exchanged between him and Micah, she would have been way more pissed off if she had heard what they actually discussed. All she saw was a 20’ conversation.
I really liked her as well. She seems like she really has her stuff together and knows what is needed in a relationship but you can never keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept
@@hildeyogaanddance6919 overall he is very fake though. She cannot see through his bs. He literally says what he thinks she wants to hear and he doesn’t mean any of it.
Omg I also thought the extremely convenient phone call was faked. It was very telling when Chelsea asked to be in on the call. She sooo did not trust Kwame 😅
When I was 18 years old, my Ivorian mom kicked me out of the house. She was emotionally abusive and her boyfriend raised his hands on me 3 times and she always blamed me. When I told this story to my aunt, she said I should go and apologize to my mom, beg her to take me back home ( without asking if that’s what I wanted) and said : “your mom is like your God on earth”… ughhh pffff Thank God I took my distance and feeling much better today but watching Jackie triggered me. It was like seeing my old self on Tv and I didn’t like that. It’s like she wants someone that would hurt her or “love” her in the toxic way she is used to. I grew in an environment where hurting your kids, humiliate them or beat them is considered loving and educational. And I think it’s also her case. She doesn’t need an husband. She needs therapy. In fact they all need therapy.
thank you for sharing that story. obviously what happened was heartbreaking but the way you speak about it with such clarity and power and self-awareness. it's inspiring. yes indeed Jackie needs therapy. hopefully the experience of watching herself on TV will give her the insight she needs to take that step
My heart broke for Chelsea when she said she Facetimes her friends at dinner time :( I will never understand this though, because I really cherish my "alone time" and I really do like to spend quiet evenings in or do things like go out or travel on my own whenever I get the chance.
@haryel5058 yeah for some reason she's the one from the cast that's caught my eye the most, she seems like a good egg so I hope she finds her own happiness. I think her standing up to the mean girls back in the pods stage really made me a fan
The fact that Marshall is a Virgo and he called her a project is hilarious. Virgos notoriously go after people that they can “fix”. People who are a mess
I had a friend like this. She’s a Virgo and dude it was exhausting. She gave and gave to these LOSERS until there was nothing to give and then complain to us about it. It got downright old after awhile because it was like…”do you not see the cycle?” I don’t think so.
I'm an Aries and I constantly take on projects I shouldn't, with very damaged people who I legitimately think I can fix. How do you explain that with astrology? Isn't it just certain people, regardless of their sign?
Marshall tried to walk his project comment back but the cat was out of the bag. I dated a man who told me I was a project. That was IT! I walked away and never spoke to him again. I didn’t miss him for one second.
Thank you for calling out the scarcity mindset with Tiffany. That convo was awkward but yet relatable. My 1st impression of the convo was Tiffany seems low key broke. This makes her insecure in the face of a financially stable man.
@@lovelylora1700 I think she just might feel broke next to him. I remember there once was a guy who liked me who was probably the most put together man (fashion wise) I had ever seen in real life. Everything looked tailored to perfection. Im generally a confident woman but I literally thought how could we date he would outshine me. I could never keep up with his wardrobe. I felt like a peasant next to him and I never feel like a peasant. These were thoughts I never even had before in my life. The disparity made me feel insecure. It could be something similar with Tiffany.
@@suras8984 oh interesting. But do you really think Brett is thatttttt financially stable? He lives in a one bedroom bath apartment and I believe he was renting. Just because Tiffany lives with a roommate and seems more frugal doesn’t mean she’s broke. She could have more money than Brett who is out here buying 100+ pairs of shoes and thousand dollar luggage. We all know people who have nice cars and apartments but are broke and spending with little saved. I think that’s what she was asking. She doesn’t give broke vibes and she could be more financially savvy than Brett. Also Brett grew up in poverty. Sometimes people that grow up poor feel the need to outwardly show how they spend money. Ex “hood rich” soooo yeah. Brett show me the real estate portfolio, the stocks, options and bonds not shoes clothes and gadgets. 🤔 We are all making assumptions but idk
@@lovelylora1700 yes we can only speculate. Brett is a director at Nike I think he makes good money probably 6 figures. I can only imagine how awkward it is to talk about finances in the short time frame they have until the wedding. It adds pressure to something that could be discussed over time in a natural setting. Yes your right he has a lot of toys that would suggest he has money but we are left wondering why it appears he doesnt own his place which he should be able to afford if he can afford all those expensive gadgets. Im not judging him for that but I am sure Tiffany like most women wants security and wants to make sure they will be good financially.
Marshal is somewhat scary. That project comment was very strange and when he was telling Brett that hes going to leave with a marriage was cringe. It seemed like he was saying by any means I think Tiff is lying about her financial stability. She literally went in on his closet and how much he spends on things with HIS OWN MONEY and then proceeds to say I dont want anyone telling me how to spend my money…. Not to mention she sneakily told him he needs to pay the bills 🤣🤣🤣
Yes and no. They just met and realistically he could be in a lot of debt like most Americans are. He could have nice things but it could be all on credit. So her prodding and asking these questions is normal imo. I think financial transparency is very important.
But if she’s getting married she needs to know. To me it’s just irritating that she isn’t more straightforward but I understand that it’s a touchy subject so it might be hard to talk about it.
@@katybee3891 I don’t think she’s straightforward because the cameras. She may not want his business out there to millions. But she has a right to know his business in marriage
I think Kwame was probably raised in a way where any slight expression or tone in his opinion was seen as disrespect or aggression. That's where the laugh and smile comes from right after he says anything.
I got the feeling that jackie wasnt as into marshall as she thought and being around him 24/7 and shes tryin to push him away and make him dump her so she doesn’t have to be the bad guy. And i think the resson marshsll called her a project was to hurt her a little since shes totally embarrassing him on tv
Exactly!! It was very clear soon enough I think that Jackie wasnt into him and tries to push him away causing drama. Getting the feeling she Is bipolar or sth. And these people know each other for 10 days and want to "fight" for the relationship and telling their person I love you, etc. Boy she isn't it, walk away. Same for chelsea and kwame, She Is too desperate to be in a relationship not wanting to be alone, and so she is holding on to kwame, even if he flirts openly with micah humiliating her in the process not giving her the time of day. Like WTF, you just met, when you're genuinely in love you only have eyes for eachother, that's my take. Tbh most of these people shouldnt want a a relationship let alone marriage, they should work on themselves and go to a therapist to sort their own issues out first.
My interpretation with Jackie and Marshall was she was reluctant to meet his family because she knew she didn’t wanna be with him and didn’t wanna get everyone hopes up to soon disappoint them. Notice she only met his sister and niece and sisters boyfriend I think Jackie probably asked to only meet them rather than his parents because it would’ve made her more nervous. And then they never showed him meeting her parents I think she might be lying about her family situation a little bit. I more so think she was stressed cuz she felt like she took it too far with him and it feels real now that they are officially about to get married.
When you’re finally in a healthy relationship after experiencing an abusive one, you’re going to feel weird, and instead of being grateful, you’re starting to be the toxic partner. I used to be like Jackie, and it took a long time to realise it.
I think it's just a different type of dysfunctional tbh. Marshall is super needy. Him being the kind supportive sensitive man is totally a role he's playing in order to get validation. He definitely has suppressed rage issues.
I think something that could be giving Jackie stress too is the fact that in Latino households since family is so important if one of your parents disagree in something you are doing it can make you feel like that thing is bound to fail, because your parents disagree and that should mean something. I don't know but I feel this happens to a lot of my friends (I live in Colombia) that when they mothers or fathers don't want them to do something (like parents don't give their blessing for them to do something), they immediately including myself considered more and feel like something bad is going to happen because parents know what's best. This mentality is so weird and it really controls you because even if you are an adult and can do everything you want, if I don't have my parents blessing I feel like something bad is going to happen (like I create this negative aura around the situation) so I end up doing what they want. That's what I think maybe is happening to Jackie, since her mother disagrees she kinda bringing this negative aura around the relationship without knowing. If her mom give her that blessing and accept the relationship I think Jacky is going to be much less stressed and positive about them.
On the flip side in white families people are dropped for mistakes. That can be a good thing but even after someone cleaned up past mistakes they're still outcast.
yeah maybe that specific phone call was faked for the camera but i think the dynamic with her disapproving mother is real because when he was telling Chelsea about what his mother said, the school-boy shame was oozing out of him
She could also be uncomfortable with him making breakfast because when you are in a controlling relationship the person does nice things to hold them over your head as leverage.
Yep my mum is 100% like this. It makes me very suspicious of anytime she offers to do something nice for me. It will always come back in the form of me being obligated to do something for her.
I think throughout her life Chelsea been really perceptive and logical and I guess because it haven’t been working out for her she’s just trying something different in this circumstance and letting her emotions guide her. I truly think she’s prepared for a heartbreak and she also trusting her emotions and if it doesn’t work out I can see her using this as a lesson for her or just an insightful experience.
While Jackie has her issues, I think an even bigger red flag was Marshall picking a fight on the "not aggressive enough" comment. We didn't get to see the whole thing unfold, but it seems like Jackie was asking him to be a certain way in the bedroom and he took it to an entirely different direction, throwing a tantrum over her saying he wasn't man enough. I think escalating situations that way points to a massive issue.
What I found sooooo interesting is the huge gap between what Jackelina actually said, and what Marshall HEARD. And then repeated to Brett to make himself look good. Maybe Grace Report was right, that he has a Savior complex coupled with the situation with his Dad. He clearly has his own idea of his manhood in his mind, and he’s pushed down the aggression acting out that Will Smith role… but when he cracks his neck or cracks the little wooden finger food dish, you see it bubble up. Plus Jackie had cancer issues in her family at the time.
I finished reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. Pretty sure I saw it recommended by you on your channel. It’s given me some tools to help me have a more fulfilling relationship (and less draining and attention seeking) with my mother. Thank you!
Kwame's laugh is so annoying !!!! Anyway i am so happy you touched on Tiffany's and Brett's money talk. She does give off jealousy vibes because they did mention they could not see her home because she had roommates and she's 37 years old. Not that you can't have roommates at that age but Brett lives alone and has a great job. Her projection of "bougie Brett" may be a sense of shame of where she is in her life at the moment. Plus she drinks A LOT (drinking to the point of falling asleep while Brett confessed his love) which gives off her trying to suppress facing her true reality.
Drinking in your 30s will have you tired. And she was drunk ONCE, which I think is a fair coping method if I was back in the dorms surrounded by 15 women. You guys projecting is so odd to me.
Thank you India Nile for talking about Brett's upbringing. I grew up poor too and now I make good money and live alone in an expensive for the last 4 years at age 26 with a degree. I love to spend my money because I deserve to treat myself. There is nothing wrong with spending money on what you want, but not going into debt while doing so. Brett seems just fine with his money and offered to pay more of the bills.
I am so glad that I found your channel because I cant get enough of your content, I keep rewatching the older ones, haha!! Please post longer videos, Thank you!!!
I think you are so incredible in so many ways! I’ve been learning a lot. It’s this mix of intelligence, precise information, sensibility, humor, artistic point of view. I’m so mesmerized!
First time I'm commenting! I think you're so articulate! You really opened my eyes with the masochism talk with Jackie and Marshall. It's kind of crazy that people are writing off Marshall off as perfect, he definitely deserves better than Jackie but he should also stop trying to play savior. I thought the money talk with Brett/Tiff could've been done better but at the same time this is a new relationship and money can be an awkward conversation for a lot of relationships. I assumed it's been talked about much better than we see because there's definitely context that we're missing. Brett said he didn't feel like Tiffany was insecure about it so could be editing or the context missing but I definitely agree with your take on how to speak on it much better and open than that. Hard agree on Kwame, it makes me feel bad for Chelsea because he's faking so much and it feels like he's really good at convincing Chelsea just enough to keep her happy. You deserve more subs!!
Jackie isn’t sexually attracted to Marshall. She’s used to very tall and tatted up bad boys that treat her like ass. The man that treats her well is exactly the type of guy that she doesn’t like.
@@lolaispure4296 That may be true but he’s still sexually attracted to her. They wouldn’t have half the problems they have if she was sexually attracted to him.
@@DynamicUnreal that’s not exactly true. She complained about him not initiating sex with her first. He may want her on his arm, but neither one of them are sexually passionate about one another.
I loved everything you had to say, you have amazing insight and it opens my eyes to so much! I love the quotes you use throughout the video too. You deserve your 500K, in fact, you deserve more! It’s nice hearing the more psychological part of these cringey shows, a lot needs to be said that is more constructive and eye opening to human behavior.
Yess!! When I watched that convo with Brett and Tiffany, I instantly thought scarcity mindset. Maybe tiff didn’t have much growing up (which is crazy bc from what we know, Brett was actually the one who didn’t have much growing up) or she was raised to believe that nothing is ever gonna be enough or living within your means where you have just enough to get by is the way to go. Brett on the other hand is a lot more ambitious and dreams big and yeah not a lot of ppl can handle that kinda mindset esp if they’re closed minded. Either way, thank you for pointing out Tiffany’s judgmental comments esp in the pods. I remember I heard her make that comment and I even thought at that moment “wow that’s pretty judgey” but I forgot about it since there are so many couples to keep up with. It’s a good thing you called this out!
Omg! I never picked up on the condescension behind the "Bougie Brett" thing Tiffany does. Could she be jealous because she did everything traditionally, but Brett makes more in his career potentially and didn't follow the traditional path/have a college degree? Just wondering
@Indie Nile I'm so glad you brought this up because it rubbed me the wrong way too. I made more money than my ex and he used to do me like this. Talk about my stuff and call me names for liking what I like. If they aren't in financial ruin and like their stuff you shouldn't call them names.
Just finished episode 10. I can’t wait for you to talk about Jackie’s final convo with Marshall & Micah’s facial expression while Chelsea talked about Kwame at their dress fitting 😂🤣
I have never heard of someone wanting aggression period, you have to have issues to want that. That’s such a red flag. I want to clarify I mean aggression in general, more so than in the bedroom.
So happy you touched on Tiffany’s comments about “bougie brett!” I kept thinking girlll stop saying that can’t you see he’s uncomfortable whenever you mention it?? She might just be teasing but no one likes someone harping on them about the same thing 24/7. He’s a creative director at the biggest athletic shoe brand in the world, of course he has money! Her comments make it seem like his money bothers her. Love them both tho and rooting for them
That money point was so real - I’m 24 and just dropped out of my masters and I’m having to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money for the first time. My partner and I are moving in together in a couple of months and are having to have these conversations and it’s slowly getting easier. But we both come from different kinds of scarcity: his family never really had money, he was one of four kids and took on the role of another parent to his brothers. I was the baby in my family, my siblings moved out by the time I was 12 and then suddenly we were plunged into scarcity, I was constantly scared of money after that even to now. I have to justify even buying food to myself to this day. But we both have problems with impulsively spending at times and recreating the cycle (we both have adhd too which doesn’t help, our impulsivity tends to be around lacking energy to cook and ordering takeout rather than material possessions). Especially with my difficulty finding a full time job I’m really trying to piece together what having money would even look like for me, my job pays okay but not enough to be sustainable. I really needed to hear this today, so thank you Indie ❤
No, she’s just not sexually attracted to him. She spoke about her being attracted to very tall 6’5 tatted out dudes. Marshall is a good guy but he’s not the type of guy that gets her moist.
it could very well be that he wasn't actually talking to her when they filmed but i do believe that he has a disapproving mother because when he was relaying the info to Chelsea about his mother, you could feel the genuine unease and discomfort coming off him. that stuff wasn't fake, even if the phonecall was
I almost immediately related to how Jackie acts, and I knew it was because of how she was raised. I was in a bad relationship for a long, long time because I thought love was struggle and being a strong woman meant dealing with a bad relationship. My parents are divorced and my mom was extremely strict growing up. If I ever showed independence, she’d insult me. My mom is Korean and Puerto Rican and has dealt with a lot in her life, and she’s pushed away most people, so I think she tried to keep me down so I couldn’t leave her side. For example, I wanted to be a cosmologist like her when I was a teenager, but she didn’t want me to have that life so she told me I’m not creative or artistic or outgoing. Now that I have a stable career, she fully supports me getting my license on the side so much that she helps teach me things. When I was looking for internships in college, I’d found a really great one in New York. She told me I’d be homeless and she wouldn’t help me at all if I got that internship because she doesn’t like New York. And that was only a summer internship. When I decided to move to a different city, I took advice from my boyfriend’s parents and told her, and she told me to never take another parent’s advice again or never tell her that I did. I was 31! Lol Also I was one of a few kids where I grew up who wasn’t only white, and so I felt deeply insecure from that as well. It took me until 29 to feel confident in myself and get out of that bad relationship. My boyfriend now acts so much like Marshall did when Jackie was crying. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I was feeling so scared of all of the emotions I was feeling. I’d never felt supported like he made me feel. It was so overwhelming. Luckily I was at a point where I finally felt deserving of treating myself with kindness and love, so although it was strangely hard to adjust being with someone who treated me that way as well, I was able to realize that’s what a healthy relationship is. Jackie’s just not there yet. I wasn’t at her age either. I feel lucky every damn day to feel so at peace with myself and be able to feel at peace in my relationship. I hope she gets there one day too.
So happy for this part 2! Congratulations on your Hollywood shows!!!! Can't wait to find out more details. I absolutely love Chelsea's moments of lucidity... It is crazy how we can have such lucid moments, but still delude ourselves! She remains my fave from the season Also, "accepting CVs" killed me 😂😂😂
@@cristikkiAgreed! I'm confident they will both say Yes. There is something genuine with both of them. They remind me of Cameron & Lauren from Season 1. Both chilled, real, gentle and committed to making it work.
It’s not being snobby to want a partner that shares your level of education or has similar characteristics to you. She can value that in a partner. And you’re ignoring the fact that she IS dating someone without a degree, about to marry him she isn’t devaluing people without a degree. She’s a 35 year old woman. She’s going to expect more from a partner than just a nice guy. Y’all should explore why a black woman verbalizing what she wants in a relationship makes YOU think she’s snobby.
Love love love your content!!! You are so insightful, even though you're discussing people on the show it really makes me take a look at myself and my own issues. Looking forward to the next one! ❤
Discovered you this weekend and have gone back and watched a bunch of your other Netflix reality show vids. You’re so insightful and perceptive! Please keep it up! Love your content!
LMAO Kwame talks about kids like people talk about going to war........"things change.......I've always been willing to do this........." like sir??? YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE KIDS?!?!?!!
Thank you so much for exploring the possible psychological reasons behind Jackie's behaviors. This really humanized her for me, I was starting to really get critical of her treatment of Marshall.
I love psychology and I am a meditator so I love ur videos they align with what I believe so much. So happy to hear of ur progress! Coming to Marshall n Jackie I hv to say Jacki reminds me of a younger me(much milder) sabtoeur to my relationship w a 'nice' guy. Marshall tries too hard to be a nice guy but when he said she is a project fr him he gave himself away. He is unhealed too thats why they r doin this dance although the best thing would b fr them to separate n flourish in their lives. Jackie has a long way to go, a very very long way. At the end of it the pain n the suffering cracks ur heart open n then the light enters it. If u allow it, Don't deny, run away, overcompensate and turn it into dysfunction vomiting ur pain onto others. Isolate n go inward and the healing comes from within.
@Indie Nile yes that's true! I just realized that after my Jackie era ended I became a Marshall taking on a Project that had my life go sideways. Still recovering from my Marshall era. There's something that impresses me in Tiffany and that is how she is able to phrase things in such a good way n she spoke up abt everything that mattered to her and she took a carefree nap while he was proposing to her! I dream of being that level of unbothered my dysfunctional over empathizing and anxiety could never.
i cant stop watching your videos! u pick up so many things that i noticed too but just didnt know how to put them into words, and your humor is amazing! i laugh all the time! im your fan🥰
It's so obvious Chelsea and Kwame are both trying to talk themselves into the relationship... Kwame with his "I'm not sacrificing anything! " and Chelsea with her "we can travel, we'll just hire a nanny, it'll be fine!" like y'all...
Omg this is my first TH-cam comment ever but I really love your way of breaking down all these psychological issues in a very fun way,, you go girl!!!! Love you ❤
I subscribed to you because you’re the FIRST person on TH-cam to spot Marshals many red flags . Everyone is just eating him up and it’s a bit sickening because it kinda proves his theory that if you’re very “nice” people tend to overlook many significant issues within your character.
I just found your channel but oh my goodness you have such a gift and thank you for sharing it with us. I absolutely love how you incorporate drag into your videos. ❤
I'm only 25 and just feeling more comfortable discussing money in a very normal and necessary way, but it has already felt like such a weight lifting off of myself and my relationship✨️ it hasn't been easy, but it has been with reward. For me it has everything to do with the fear of money. Fear of not having enough, never having enough, because that's what I was taught to fear the most when looking at my parents as a child. Money was to be had, and if your family didn't have "enough" of it your family had to keep up by playing the part 🙄 Such a toxic mindset.
totally, fear of money is a real thing. and it's indeed for toxic. it's so awesome that at 25 you're having this awareness about old family traditions 👌
Hi Indie, love your insights, you are way better at analizing than any therapist I've ever talked to, can't stand watching LIB cause girl, but love your videos digesting the relationship dynamics, so much to learn from, Thank you! Wish I could hug you ❤
First of all, I'm delighted for you in regards to your relationship with your family and your shows!! 🎉 And thanks for one more video of LIB, it's always so enlightening!!!! 🥰 BTW: I just love when you say "gurrl" lol
Another great video with amazing insights into the human psyche. Even though you are analyzing a show, it helps us all to see our own behaviors and how to work on them. I'm recently divorced and found your videos at the right time. I loved what you said at the end of this video about facing your own crises and getting through it. And what you said about being lonely also resonated with me. At first, being alone was very difficult. But then I learned to sit in my own head and start to love myself for me. Now I love being alone! It is good to face our own feelings and demons in order to become mentally healthier. I appreciate all of your videos! Thank you! Wish I could go to your shows. Good luck with all of your endeavors.
I sincerely hope Chelsea has her 'Deeps' moment at the altar and respectfully says No. Like Deeps, she is a wonderful person and deserves someone who is ALL IN.
Girl I watched the fight happen and got PTSD from an argument I started with my ex 😂 It’s the growth for me, though. You wouldn’t be able to see it and know it for what it is until you’ve moved past it mentally. I think every relationship on love is blind shows us a little bit more about ourselves from an outsider’s point of view.
Indie you’re ahhh-mazing. ❤ I feel for Marshall attracting someone who he thinks as potential aka “project”… Ahhh. The road to wholeness starts with reliving the unresolved childhood core wounds in order to repair. Pain is a gift once the individual comes to accept that healing and remembering true love is an inside job. Complex relationships shows up once we’re in a relationship in order to heal the wounds. Of course, everything is 95% childhood conditioning. This is a fascinating experiment and beautiful to OBSERVE once we process our own shadow. Cheers to remembering that we are all perfect at the core of our being before we were conditioned to believe the fragile nature of EGO. Great job Indie Nile. ❤
Greetings from Thailand! I just want to say thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, your videos are therapeutic to me! Also love your sense of humor :)
I was watching jessiewoo review about why Marshall would allow Jackie’s behaviour is because she is his type. He had access to his type for the first time and in order to keep her…welp he allows way too much from her
There's a Tiktok that even blew my therapist's mind. "The reason you self sabotage is because it allows you to predict what is going to happen, which is giving you the illusion of self control". Luckily I stopped self sabotaging my relationships but I see so much of my younger self in Jackie.
wow, that's a beautiful quote!!!
Whoa... 🤯
😮wowwww
As a Hispanic woman, we have a history of parents or family who raise us with the motto "blood is blood". They can degrade you, disrespect you, abuse you, or not even give you the time of day: but we are still told to forgive and move on because "That's family!"
Jackie, I think, is used to that kind of love
I was for a long time. I was used to being disrespectful to my partner because I was raised to think THATS how you love someone. If they love you, they'll just move on from the pain they gave u. And I think she may suffer from BPD because I relate to her emotional outbursts so much and I have BPD.
She needs help.
Same here but I'm not Hispanic.
thanks for sharing that!
This is such a good point!
wow. That’s so accurate. I had a Dominican bf and that’s exactly how our relationship was!
You're right, I had an exgf whose father stole her American social security number qnd put her in debt before she was 18. Hes Hispanic and she told me she hated how she felt she had to play nice even after that.
"Often we're not looking for love, we are looking for someone who can hurt us in a familiar way, usually mirroring our relationship with our most difficult parent" ... can't remember where I heard this but oof, it never stops being relevant.
beautiful!
That quote makes me feel like crying honestly😢😢😭
true
I think it may have been from why you will marry the wrong person, an incredible talk here on youtube by Alain de Botton (really recommend)
@@magdalenaglinka2195 thanks! I sub to quite a few similar channels and all the good advice blends together.
I would go on love is blind just so Indie Nile would tell me about my mind. He’s so insightful and nonjudgmental
lolll love this!!!
haha. i wanna go on Love is Blind too :)
Lol
omigod YES. once the episodes air I'd be checking for his and jessie woo's takes with a quickness lol
Ha! He's been judging the whole time, take your rose colored glasses off
You hit Kwame right on the nose. His eyes, often, don't match his smile. His smile drops off and his eyes are ice.
👌
Please don't be fooled by African Brothers. Especially when they from.west Africa. Trouble. Run far too a corner
He really comes off fake. I thought I was the only one seeing that.
Hes not fake, he just isnt really attracted to CHELSEA 🧐🤷♂️
@CJ Joseph so why even say yes.
That's why I like some people. Authentic. Fact that he says yes to someone not attracted too honey tells u lot. FAKE.
I actually read the Tiffany and Brett situation differently… she seems like she comes from a place where money is a lot tighter and she has to think about it way more often than Brett. I feel like his lifestyle was just jarring for her and she was expressing that insecurity, maybe not in the best way but no one is perfect lmao I’m a Tiff stan if u couldn’t tell
yes!
Yup! I agree because a lot of us (black ppl) that come from a lifestyle that is lower or lower middle class; you can grow up to have somewhat of a poverty and scarcity mindset. Especially if you’re fortunate enough as an adult to have money/success. It makes you more aware and you will do what you have to do to prevent losing it. I find myself falling into the mindset and working super hard avoiding that fear and insecurity.
But her calling him Bougie irked me because ppl do that to me often…it’s definitely not cute after the first 3 or 4 times…she better hope he continues to have the patience he displays on the show and doesn’t get sick of her doing that.
I agree with you! But I’m also a Tiffany Stan.
@@LBoogie49 people call me bougie and it’s not offensive. We’re not going to act like that’s been a derogatory term. People even made songs bragging about being bougie. It’s not that serious. Y’all are dragging.
Jackie’s toxicity doesn’t take away from Marshalls issues. He has a savior complex and needs to be with someone who he feels is “inferior” to him in some way. If he were to be with someone who was truly emotionally available, it would force him to look at himself.
Yes exactly. He dates these 'messed up' women so he can have that power dynamic of him being the 'mature one' who 'fixes' the other person. So that they feel emotionally obligated to him or something
Damn. Kinda true
Everybody is a therapist now, you people KILL me. From watching a tv show 😭🤣🤣🤣
@@casiedomingos5197 ok Marshall lol
Exactly!!!
It was just a series of red flags with marshall bc he sees no issues with himself. At least Jackie knows she self sabotages and has an off familial relationship. Marshall sees himself as the nice guy and doesn't find it at all worth questioning that he keeps dating the same type of women, getting treated the same type of way, and thinking he can "fix them". Self reflection is NEEDED
for sure, self reflection is what we ALL need
Chelsea is really perceptive, and has been throughout the season- but like, she deserves more than Kwame. I wish she could see that
i think she does see it now. i heard somewhere that they don't follow each other on instagram anymore. i guess we'll find out everything on Friday
I think Kwame has been very two faced. She didn’t hear the words that were exchanged between him and Micah, she would have been way more pissed off if she had heard what they actually discussed. All she saw was a 20’ conversation.
I really liked her as well. She seems like she really has her stuff together and knows what is needed in a relationship but you can never keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept
@@hildeyogaanddance6919 overall he is very fake though. She cannot see through his bs. He literally says what he thinks she wants to hear and he doesn’t mean any of it.
She isn’t very perceptive. She might be with other things but not when it comes to Kwame.
Kwame couldn't hold back his smile at all when "his mom said no"
Omg I also thought the extremely convenient phone call was faked. It was very telling when Chelsea asked to be in on the call. She sooo did not trust Kwame 😅
When I was 18 years old, my Ivorian mom kicked me out of the house. She was emotionally abusive and her boyfriend raised his hands on me 3 times and she always blamed me. When I told this story to my aunt, she said I should go and apologize to my mom, beg her to take me back home ( without asking if that’s what I wanted) and said : “your mom is like your God on earth”… ughhh pffff
Thank God I took my distance and feeling much better today but watching Jackie triggered me. It was like seeing my old self on Tv and I didn’t like that. It’s like she wants someone that would hurt her or “love” her in the toxic way she is used to. I grew in an environment where hurting your kids, humiliate them or beat them is considered loving and educational. And I think it’s also her case. She doesn’t need an husband. She needs therapy. In fact they all need therapy.
thank you for sharing that story. obviously what happened was heartbreaking but the way you speak about it with such clarity and power and self-awareness. it's inspiring. yes indeed Jackie needs therapy. hopefully the experience of watching herself on TV will give her the insight she needs to take that step
The character Joe from YOU is literally written from men like Marshall. I am leery of Marshall just as much as I am of Jackie.
yes!
That's it!
Lol now they've come with another conspiracy theory😂
My heart broke for Chelsea when she said she Facetimes her friends at dinner time :( I will never understand this though, because I really cherish my "alone time" and I really do like to spend quiet evenings in or do things like go out or travel on my own whenever I get the chance.
Because you comfortable with being alone so you’re not lonely. She hasn’t done her job so she’s constantly suffering from that !
it's awesome that you cherish your alone time 👌
@haryel5058 yeah for some reason she's the one from the cast that's caught my eye the most, she seems like a good egg so I hope she finds her own happiness. I think her standing up to the mean girls back in the pods stage really made me a fan
The fact that Marshall is a Virgo and he called her a project is hilarious. Virgos notoriously go after people that they can “fix”. People who are a mess
I had a friend like this. She’s a Virgo and dude it was exhausting. She gave and gave to these LOSERS until there was nothing to give and then complain to us about it. It got downright old after awhile because it was like…”do you not see the cycle?” I don’t think so.
The fact that you think that astrology is even remotely real is just nuts to me.
@DynamicUnreal , same thought. People are so effing dumb, that’s ridiculous
I'm an Aries and I constantly take on projects I shouldn't, with very damaged people who I legitimately think I can fix. How do you explain that with astrology? Isn't it just certain people, regardless of their sign?
Marshall tried to walk his project comment back but the cat was out of the bag.
I dated a man who told me I was a project. That was IT! I walked away and never spoke to him again. I didn’t miss him for one second.
Thank you for calling out the scarcity mindset with Tiffany. That convo was awkward but yet relatable.
My 1st impression of the convo was Tiffany seems low key broke. This makes her insecure in the face of a financially stable man.
Maybe she dealt with broke men in the past and was wanting to get a feel of where Brett is financially.
@@lovelylora1700 I think she just might feel broke next to him. I remember there once was a guy who liked me who was probably the most put together man (fashion wise) I had ever seen in real life. Everything looked tailored to perfection. Im generally a confident woman but I literally thought how could we date he would outshine me. I could never keep up with his wardrobe. I felt like a peasant next to him and I never feel like a peasant. These were thoughts I never even had before in my life. The disparity made me feel insecure. It could be something similar with Tiffany.
@@suras8984 oh interesting. But do you really think Brett is thatttttt financially stable? He lives in a one bedroom bath apartment and I believe he was renting.
Just because Tiffany lives with a roommate and seems more frugal doesn’t mean she’s broke. She could have more money than Brett who is out here buying 100+ pairs of shoes and thousand dollar luggage. We all know people who have nice cars and apartments but are broke and spending with little saved. I think that’s what she was asking. She doesn’t give broke vibes and she could be more financially savvy than Brett.
Also Brett grew up in poverty. Sometimes people that grow up poor feel the need to outwardly show how they spend money. Ex “hood rich” soooo yeah. Brett show me the real estate portfolio, the stocks, options and bonds not shoes clothes and gadgets. 🤔
We are all making assumptions but idk
@@lovelylora1700 yes we can only speculate. Brett is a director at Nike I think he makes good money probably 6 figures. I can only imagine how awkward it is to talk about finances in the short time frame they have until the wedding. It adds pressure to something that could be discussed over time in a natural setting. Yes your right he has a lot of toys that would suggest he has money but we are left wondering why it appears he doesnt own his place which he should be able to afford if he can afford all those expensive gadgets. Im not judging him for that but I am sure Tiffany like most women wants security and wants to make sure they will be good financially.
You see Tiffany’s face light up when Brett said they could possibly do a 75/25 split with finances
Marshal is somewhat scary. That project comment was very strange and when he was telling Brett that hes going to leave with a marriage was cringe. It seemed like he was saying by any means
I think Tiff is lying about her financial stability. She literally went in on his closet and how much he spends on things with HIS OWN MONEY and then proceeds to say I dont want anyone telling me how to spend my money…. Not to mention she sneakily told him he needs to pay the bills 🤣🤣🤣
true. she did drop that in sneakily
Thank you! You’re the first that I saw who called a flag on the play for Tiffany and Brett! People thought the money convo was cute. No girl 🚩
If she calls him “bougie” one more time……
😂
👌😍
@@LoveTanyaxo right!!!
@@LoveTanyaxo IKR. She's too old to be so annoying. The man works hard for his money, what's wrong with him getting nice things for himself
The captions transcribe "Bougie Brett" into "Fuji Breath" and I'm laughing so hard
LOL
What’s awkward is that she acts like Brett can’t manage his own money because he wasn’t raised with it. Even though he’s making plenty now.
exactly!
Yes and no. They just met and realistically he could be in a lot of debt like most Americans are. He could have nice things but it could be all on credit. So her prodding and asking these questions is normal imo. I think financial transparency is very important.
But if she’s getting married she needs to know. To me it’s just irritating that she isn’t more straightforward but I understand that it’s a touchy subject so it might be hard to talk about it.
@@katybee3891 I don’t think she’s straightforward because the cameras. She may not want his business out there to millions. But she has a right to know his business in marriage
The snobbery!!
I think Kwame was probably raised in a way where any slight expression or tone in his opinion was seen as disrespect or aggression. That's where the laugh and smile comes from right after he says anything.
interesting take
Never thought of this, but it tracks. It’s not in his nature to be confrontational. I rather think he’s very accommodating.
I got the feeling that jackie wasnt as into marshall as she thought and being around him 24/7 and shes tryin to push him away and make him dump her so she doesn’t have to be the bad guy.
And i think the resson marshsll called her a project was to hurt her a little since shes totally embarrassing him on tv
Exactly!! It was very clear soon enough I think that Jackie wasnt into him and tries to push him away causing drama. Getting the feeling she Is bipolar or sth. And these people know each other for 10 days and want to "fight" for the relationship and telling their person I love you, etc. Boy she isn't it, walk away. Same for chelsea and kwame, She Is too desperate to be in a relationship not wanting to be alone, and so she is holding on to kwame, even if he flirts openly with micah humiliating her in the process not giving her the time of day. Like WTF, you just met, when you're genuinely in love you only have eyes for eachother, that's my take. Tbh most of these people shouldnt want a a relationship let alone marriage, they should work on themselves and go to a therapist to sort their own issues out first.
My interpretation with Jackie and Marshall was she was reluctant to meet his family because she knew she didn’t wanna be with him and didn’t wanna get everyone hopes up to soon disappoint them. Notice she only met his sister and niece and sisters boyfriend I think Jackie probably asked to only meet them rather than his parents because it would’ve made her more nervous. And then they never showed him meeting her parents I think she might be lying about her family situation a little bit. I more so think she was stressed cuz she felt like she took it too far with him and it feels real now that they are officially about to get married.
I love your energy, your mind, and your content. Thank you for being you!
I appreciate that!
I really could enjoy an hour of you talking and sharing your thoughts, it’s so calming it feels like talking to a friend.
🤗
When you’re finally in a healthy relationship after experiencing an abusive one, you’re going to feel weird, and instead of being grateful, you’re starting to be the toxic partner. I used to be like Jackie, and it took a long time to realise it.
100%
I think it's just a different type of dysfunctional tbh. Marshall is super needy. Him being the kind supportive sensitive man is totally a role he's playing in order to get validation. He definitely has suppressed rage issues.
I think something that could be giving Jackie stress too is the fact that in Latino households since family is so important if one of your parents disagree in something you are doing it can make you feel like that thing is bound to fail, because your parents disagree and that should mean something. I don't know but I feel this happens to a lot of my friends (I live in Colombia) that when they mothers or fathers don't want them to do something (like parents don't give their blessing for them to do something), they immediately including myself considered more and feel like something bad is going to happen because parents know what's best. This mentality is so weird and it really controls you because even if you are an adult and can do everything you want, if I don't have my parents blessing I feel like something bad is going to happen (like I create this negative aura around the situation) so I end up doing what they want.
That's what I think maybe is happening to Jackie, since her mother disagrees she kinda bringing this negative aura around the relationship without knowing. If her mom give her that blessing and accept the relationship I think Jacky is going to be much less stressed and positive about them.
thanks for sharing that. was insightful
On the flip side in white families people are dropped for mistakes. That can be a good thing but even after someone cleaned up past mistakes they're still outcast.
I grew up the same way and u are so right! I’ve had to deconstruct this within myself too.
Her Dad literally got a Cancer diagnosis during filming.
Everything you say is so insightful, thank you for your wisdom. Keep doing what you are doing!
thank you!
i didn’t think he really called his mom 😂 sounded like a made up convo with he just wanted to plant a seed of doubt. that duping delight smile
yeah maybe that specific phone call was faked for the camera but i think the dynamic with her disapproving mother is real because when he was telling Chelsea about what his mother said, the school-boy shame was oozing out of him
Yeah i noticed the difference between how Kwame looks at Chelsea and Micah. Also, I noticed he laughs a lot when he’s uncomfortable.
yeah its annoying
Marshall and Chelsea seem so fit for each other. They have a cool connection and an understanding one.
She could also be uncomfortable with him making breakfast because when you are in a controlling relationship the person does nice things to hold them over your head as leverage.
interesting take
cnt agree more.
Yep my mum is 100% like this. It makes me very suspicious of anytime she offers to do something nice for me. It will always come back in the form of me being obligated to do something for her.
I think throughout her life Chelsea been really perceptive and logical and I guess because it haven’t been working out for her she’s just trying something different in this circumstance and letting her emotions guide her. I truly think she’s prepared for a heartbreak and she also trusting her emotions and if it doesn’t work out I can see her using this as a lesson for her or just an insightful experience.
While Jackie has her issues, I think an even bigger red flag was Marshall picking a fight on the "not aggressive enough" comment. We didn't get to see the whole thing unfold, but it seems like Jackie was asking him to be a certain way in the bedroom and he took it to an entirely different direction, throwing a tantrum over her saying he wasn't man enough. I think escalating situations that way points to a massive issue.
Maybe that was just his breaking point
Thats a good point.
Right! Everyone is equating that to her wanting a toxic man and that's wild.
Yes, it's crappy what she said to him and him getting mad is less worriesome than her for saying it.
this would be just like the "cuties" scene. Until we watch it, we can't know what it was really about.
What I found sooooo interesting is the huge gap between what Jackelina actually said, and what Marshall HEARD. And then repeated to Brett to make himself look good. Maybe Grace Report was right, that he has a Savior complex coupled with the situation with his Dad. He clearly has his own idea of his manhood in his mind, and he’s pushed down the aggression acting out that Will Smith role… but when he cracks his neck or cracks the little wooden finger food dish, you see it bubble up.
Plus Jackie had cancer issues in her family at the time.
Your videos have brought me so much joy! I’m studying to become an art therapist, and your approach and insight fascinate me. Love from Montreal!
Oh! And congratulations on your upcoming shows!
thank you! "art therapy" sounds amazing 👌
I finished reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. Pretty sure I saw it recommended by you on your channel. It’s given me some tools to help me have a more fulfilling relationship (and less draining and attention seeking) with my mother. Thank you!
I've actually never read that book but sounds fascinating. Gonna pick up a copy today!
@dragtherapy I'm reading it right now, it's sooo good. ❤
@@dragtherapy I swear I thought you recommended it 🤣 Oh well, happy reading! Hope it does something for you like it did for me.
Kwame's laugh is so annoying !!!! Anyway i am so happy you touched on Tiffany's and Brett's money talk. She does give off jealousy vibes because they did mention they could not see her home because she had roommates and she's 37 years old. Not that you can't have roommates at that age but Brett lives alone and has a great job. Her projection of "bougie Brett" may be a sense of shame of where she is in her life at the moment. Plus she drinks A LOT (drinking to the point of falling asleep while Brett confessed his love) which gives off her trying to suppress facing her true reality.
interesting take on the drinking
We seen her drunk one time. How is that drinking a lot?
She could have undiagnosed narcolepsy. A drink would enhance her sleepiness.
Drinking in your 30s will have you tired. And she was drunk ONCE, which I think is a fair coping method if I was back in the dorms surrounded by 15 women. You guys projecting is so odd to me.
I got covert narcissist vibes from her unfortunately I agree with all the above 😢
Thank you India Nile for talking about Brett's upbringing. I grew up poor too and now I make good money and live alone in an expensive for the last 4 years at age 26 with a degree. I love to spend my money because I deserve to treat myself. There is nothing wrong with spending money on what you want, but not going into debt while doing so. Brett seems just fine with his money and offered to pay more of the bills.
I am so glad that I found your channel because I cant get enough of your content, I keep rewatching the older ones, haha!! Please post longer videos, Thank you!!!
Will do! 🤗
I think you are so incredible in so many ways! I’ve been learning a lot. It’s this mix of intelligence, precise information, sensibility, humor, artistic point of view. I’m so mesmerized!
thank you!
First time I'm commenting! I think you're so articulate! You really opened my eyes with the masochism talk with Jackie and Marshall. It's kind of crazy that people are writing off Marshall off as perfect, he definitely deserves better than Jackie but he should also stop trying to play savior. I thought the money talk with Brett/Tiff could've been done better but at the same time this is a new relationship and money can be an awkward conversation for a lot of relationships. I assumed it's been talked about much better than we see because there's definitely context that we're missing. Brett said he didn't feel like Tiffany was insecure about it so could be editing or the context missing but I definitely agree with your take on how to speak on it much better and open than that. Hard agree on Kwame, it makes me feel bad for Chelsea because he's faking so much and it feels like he's really good at convincing Chelsea just enough to keep her happy. You deserve more subs!!
thank you! i love your comment
Indie - you really make me reflect upon myself. Thank you for your drag therapy! I love your show.
🤗😍
Wow, your insight is so amazing. Could have listened to you for longer. Thanks for the video.
I appreciate that!
Jackie isn’t sexually attracted to Marshall. She’s used to very tall and tatted up bad boys that treat her like ass. The man that treats her well is exactly the type of guy that she doesn’t like.
But same for Marshall, really. He seems to be into fixing people. Dont get me wrong, i like him but he has a saviour complex.
@@lolaispure4296 That may be true but he’s still sexually attracted to her. They wouldn’t have half the problems they have if she was sexually attracted to him.
@@DynamicUnreal that’s not exactly true. She complained about him not initiating sex with her first. He may want her on his arm, but neither one of them are sexually passionate about one another.
I loved everything you had to say, you have amazing insight and it opens my eyes to so much! I love the quotes you use throughout the video too. You deserve your 500K, in fact, you deserve more! It’s nice hearing the more psychological part of these cringey shows, a lot needs to be said that is more constructive and eye opening to human behavior.
thank you so much!
I love your approach to commentary- so unique, thoughtful, and fun!
thank you!
Yess!! When I watched that convo with Brett and Tiffany, I instantly thought scarcity mindset. Maybe tiff didn’t have much growing up (which is crazy bc from what we know, Brett was actually the one who didn’t have much growing up) or she was raised to believe that nothing is ever gonna be enough or living within your means where you have just enough to get by is the way to go. Brett on the other hand is a lot more ambitious and dreams big and yeah not a lot of ppl can handle that kinda mindset esp if they’re closed minded.
Either way, thank you for pointing out Tiffany’s judgmental comments esp in the pods. I remember I heard her make that comment and I even thought at that moment “wow that’s pretty judgey” but I forgot about it since there are so many couples to keep up with. It’s a good thing you called this out!
This deep analysis gave me my life! I'm going to be back for every single video!! Road to 50k!!! 💖
thank you 🤗 every video of yours gives me life! you're entertaining as hell
Omg! I never picked up on the condescension behind the "Bougie Brett" thing Tiffany does. Could she be jealous because she did everything traditionally, but Brett makes more in his career potentially and didn't follow the traditional path/have a college degree? Just wondering
Yea I didnt notice it until he replayed it lolll
yeah something is off with Tiffany's hyper focus on money, spending and status. i'm curious what's gonna happen with these two on the altar
@@dragtherapythis is how people act when they’re more concerned with future monetary goals than with current social status.
@@missyyy- right. They’re demonizing Tiffany for wanting to make sure they are financially stable in the future.
@Indie Nile I'm so glad you brought this up because it rubbed me the wrong way too. I made more money than my ex and he used to do me like this. Talk about my stuff and call me names for liking what I like. If they aren't in financial ruin and like their stuff you shouldn't call them names.
Just finished episode 10. I can’t wait for you to talk about Jackie’s final convo with Marshall & Micah’s facial expression while Chelsea talked about Kwame at their dress fitting 😂🤣
oh my god, the mess these people are in!
I have never heard of someone wanting aggression period, you have to have issues to want that. That’s such a red flag.
I want to clarify I mean aggression in general, more so than in the bedroom.
I was like that. I grew up around violence and abuse, I thought it was love.
👌
we're all repeating our childhood traumas until we became aware that we are doing it
I think she meant assertiveness, and taking charge.
@@kikij_7995 exactly. A woman can want an aggressive man. That’s actually pretty normal, a lot of femme men prefer assertiveness.
So happy you touched on Tiffany’s comments about “bougie brett!” I kept thinking girlll stop saying that can’t you see he’s uncomfortable whenever you mention it?? She might just be teasing but no one likes someone harping on them about the same thing 24/7. He’s a creative director at the biggest athletic shoe brand in the world, of course he has money! Her comments make it seem like his money bothers her. Love them both tho and rooting for them
That money point was so real - I’m 24 and just dropped out of my masters and I’m having to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money for the first time. My partner and I are moving in together in a couple of months and are having to have these conversations and it’s slowly getting easier. But we both come from different kinds of scarcity: his family never really had money, he was one of four kids and took on the role of another parent to his brothers. I was the baby in my family, my siblings moved out by the time I was 12 and then suddenly we were plunged into scarcity, I was constantly scared of money after that even to now. I have to justify even buying food to myself to this day. But we both have problems with impulsively spending at times and recreating the cycle (we both have adhd too which doesn’t help, our impulsivity tends to be around lacking energy to cook and ordering takeout rather than material possessions). Especially with my difficulty finding a full time job I’m really trying to piece together what having money would even look like for me, my job pays okay but not enough to be sustainable. I really needed to hear this today, so thank you Indie ❤
most welcome! thanks for sharing that
@@dragtherapy catching me on a binge here 😂😂
I’m always amazed watching your videos and what you pick up on with these couples. So happy you’re covering this show again
Thank you so much!!
Marshall is so mature and ready to be a good husband but she can't accept that kind of love yet it's sad 😢
Marshall sees her as a project and would most likely be an overly possessive "husband". Jackie needs to run away from men for awhile and seek therapy.
Toxic usually attracts toxic though… not sure if Marshall is that ready, given the woman he chose.
Hopefully, her parents watch the show and see what he is about, and how their opinion messes Jackie really bad
No, she’s just not sexually attracted to him. She spoke about her being attracted to very tall 6’5 tatted out dudes. Marshall is a good guy but he’s not the type of guy that gets her moist.
He’s not ready lol.
Are we sure Kwame even spoke to his mom? Because a few things indicated to me that he fake called her..
Fake ass phone call, looked staged to me... to me there was absolutely no one on the line.
Yea she probably did not want to be filmed. the convo happened off camera and he re-enacted it for the camera. Thats what it looks like to me .
it could very well be that he wasn't actually talking to her when they filmed but i do believe that he has a disapproving mother because when he was relaying the info to Chelsea about his mother, you could feel the genuine unease and discomfort coming off him. that stuff wasn't fake, even if the phonecall was
She probably said ahe didn't want her voice on tv and he had to act the gist of the conversation for the camera. That's my guess.
@@dragtherapy i agree
I had a suspicion that Jackie suffers from C-PTSD, I myself live with it & remember behaving in similar ways before my healing journey.
I almost immediately related to how Jackie acts, and I knew it was because of how she was raised. I was in a bad relationship for a long, long time because I thought love was struggle and being a strong woman meant dealing with a bad relationship. My parents are divorced and my mom was extremely strict growing up. If I ever showed independence, she’d insult me. My mom is Korean and Puerto Rican and has dealt with a lot in her life, and she’s pushed away most people, so I think she tried to keep me down so I couldn’t leave her side. For example, I wanted to be a cosmologist like her when I was a teenager, but she didn’t want me to have that life so she told me I’m not creative or artistic or outgoing. Now that I have a stable career, she fully supports me getting my license on the side so much that she helps teach me things. When I was looking for internships in college, I’d found a really great one in New York. She told me I’d be homeless and she wouldn’t help me at all if I got that internship because she doesn’t like New York. And that was only a summer internship. When I decided to move to a different city, I took advice from my boyfriend’s parents and told her, and she told me to never take another parent’s advice again or never tell her that I did. I was 31! Lol Also I was one of a few kids where I grew up who wasn’t only white, and so I felt deeply insecure from that as well. It took me until 29 to feel confident in myself and get out of that bad relationship. My boyfriend now acts so much like Marshall did when Jackie was crying. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I was feeling so scared of all of the emotions I was feeling. I’d never felt supported like he made me feel. It was so overwhelming. Luckily I was at a point where I finally felt deserving of treating myself with kindness and love, so although it was strangely hard to adjust being with someone who treated me that way as well, I was able to realize that’s what a healthy relationship is. Jackie’s just not there yet. I wasn’t at her age either. I feel lucky every damn day to feel so at peace with myself and be able to feel at peace in my relationship. I hope she gets there one day too.
So happy for this part 2! Congratulations on your Hollywood shows!!!! Can't wait to find out more details.
I absolutely love Chelsea's moments of lucidity... It is crazy how we can have such lucid moments, but still delude ourselves! She remains my fave from the season
Also, "accepting CVs" killed me 😂😂😂
😂
I hope Tiffany and Brett make it!!
🙏🏿
hope so too but something tells me Brett is gonna say no. we're gonna find out on Friday!
I think he is going to say no too, just based off that finances conversation. It seems like he wants to be seen for more than just his wealth.
Chelsea completely reminds me of a very good and wonderful friend of mine.
Brett seems very confident about his feelings and desire to merry Tiff. He will say yes.
@@cristikkiAgreed! I'm confident they will both say Yes. There is something genuine with both of them.
They remind me of Cameron & Lauren from Season 1. Both chilled, real, gentle and committed to making it work.
It’s not being snobby to want a partner that shares your level of education or has similar characteristics to you. She can value that in a partner. And you’re ignoring the fact that she IS dating someone without a degree, about to marry him she isn’t devaluing people without a degree. She’s a 35 year old woman. She’s going to expect more from a partner than just a nice guy. Y’all should explore why a black woman verbalizing what she wants in a relationship makes YOU think she’s snobby.
This!
You ate👏👏👏👏
It is snobby to say you wouldn't date someone who didn't go to college
@@regularity2556 how so?
I recently faced those fears and am living proof it’s not that bad, actually being alone and in love with yourself is amazing!
preach!
Your Love Is Blind breakdowns are the best. Thanks for the dope content. Road to 50k 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
thank you!!! 😻
True! So much more informative rather then just sticking to context of the show 🤌🏼
Love love love your content!!! You are so insightful, even though you're discussing people on the show it really makes me take a look at myself and my own issues.
Looking forward to the next one! ❤
🤗😍
This is my new favorite channel 💕
thank you!
Discovered you this weekend and have gone back and watched a bunch of your other Netflix reality show vids. You’re so insightful and perceptive! Please keep it up! Love your content!
thank you!
LMAO Kwame talks about kids like people talk about going to war........"things change.......I've always been willing to do this........." like sir??? YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE KIDS?!?!?!!
exactly!
Yeah it is wild when people act like it is some sort of necessity or obligation 😅 like, ummm what?! The world does not want or need your spawn 😆
This was a great analysis, felt like when me and my friends psychoanalyze people and interactions over brunch. Love this!
thanks! 🤗
Congratulations on 10k!!! I hope you get to a million one day haha
🤞😍
Thank you so much for exploring the possible psychological reasons behind Jackie's behaviors. This really humanized her for me, I was starting to really get critical of her treatment of Marshall.
most welcome!
I love psychology and I am a meditator so I love ur videos they align with what I believe so much. So happy to hear of ur progress! Coming to Marshall n Jackie I hv to say Jacki reminds me of a younger me(much milder) sabtoeur to my relationship w a 'nice' guy. Marshall tries too hard to be a nice guy but when he said she is a project fr him he gave himself away. He is unhealed too thats why they r doin this dance although the best thing would b fr them to separate n flourish in their lives. Jackie has a long way to go, a very very long way. At the end of it the pain n the suffering cracks ur heart open n then the light enters it. If u allow it, Don't deny, run away, overcompensate and turn it into dysfunction vomiting ur pain onto others. Isolate n go inward and the healing comes from within.
i also relate to Jackie & Marshal too if i'm being honest. i realize that everyone i select for analysis has a piece of me
@Indie Nile yes that's true! I just realized that after my Jackie era ended I became a Marshall taking on a Project that had my life go sideways. Still recovering from my Marshall era. There's something that impresses me in Tiffany and that is how she is able to phrase things in such a good way n she spoke up abt everything that mattered to her and she took a carefree nap while he was proposing to her! I dream of being that level of unbothered my dysfunctional over empathizing and anxiety could never.
@@wheathusk2499 those are beautiful points. Whoever gets you as a mediator has lucked up bc your empathy is noteworthy. 👌🏽
i cant stop watching your videos! u pick up so many things that i noticed too but just didnt know how to put them into words, and your humor is amazing! i laugh all the time! im your fan🥰
thank you!
It's so obvious Chelsea and Kwame are both trying to talk themselves into the relationship... Kwame with his "I'm not sacrificing anything! " and Chelsea with her "we can travel, we'll just hire a nanny, it'll be fine!" like y'all...
totally!
Omg this is my first TH-cam comment ever but I really love your way of breaking down all these psychological issues in a very fun way,, you go girl!!!! Love you ❤
i'm honored to be your first comment 😍
Gosh, you are so brilliant, girl! 👏 Love how perceptive you are and how eloquently you summarise events and processes. Big fan, Dear 😘.
Thank you so much!!
I subscribed to you because you’re the FIRST person on TH-cam to spot Marshals many red flags . Everyone is just eating him up and it’s a bit sickening because it kinda proves his theory that if you’re very “nice” people tend to overlook many significant issues within your character.
thanks for subscribing 😍
yassssssss!!! been waiting for part 2 of your LIB review❤❤❤
hope you enjoyed it
I have been waiting for your take! Yay! ❤
thank you for waiting :)
I’ve been binging your videos. Love your content dear. You bring a fresh take :)
Thank you!
I was waiting for this video!! SPOT ON!!
So glad! thank you for waiting
I just found your channel but oh my goodness you have such a gift and thank you for sharing it with us. I absolutely love how you incorporate drag into your videos. ❤
thank you!
So glad I found you!! Keep shining, your energy is amazing.
Thank you so much!!
I'm only 25 and just feeling more comfortable discussing money in a very normal and necessary way, but it has already felt like such a weight lifting off of myself and my relationship✨️ it hasn't been easy, but it has been with reward. For me it has everything to do with the fear of money. Fear of not having enough, never having enough, because that's what I was taught to fear the most when looking at my parents as a child. Money was to be had, and if your family didn't have "enough" of it your family had to keep up by playing the part 🙄 Such a toxic mindset.
totally, fear of money is a real thing. and it's indeed for toxic. it's so awesome that at 25 you're having this awareness about old family traditions 👌
I like the review especially what you said at the end about facing the worst things that can happen to you.
i needed to hear it myself :)
Hi Indie, love your insights, you are way better at analizing than any therapist I've ever talked to, can't stand watching LIB cause girl, but love your videos digesting the relationship dynamics, so much to learn from, Thank you! Wish I could hug you ❤
i'm sure we'll hug one day. i plan to start touring the world with my shows at some point and you're always welcome to visit Amsterdam
Yeah girl, u r better than many therapists on TH-cam
@@eokhonko the TH-cam therapist eta needs to end lol. They’re looking more and more unqualified. I prefer Indie for sure!
I love the way you say “girl”. Really enjoying listening to your perspective. ❤
😊 thank you
I was waitint so impatiently for this! Thank for this wonferful video! You have such poise, it amazes me❤❤
Thank you so much!
You’re baaack!
Love your analysis of each person in the cast and how you weave in expert clips.
😍 thank you
First of all, I'm delighted for you in regards to your relationship with your family and your shows!! 🎉
And thanks for one more video of LIB, it's always so enlightening!!!! 🥰
BTW: I just love when you say "gurrl" lol
thank you GURL :) sending you a big hug
@@dragtherapy 🤗
Another great video with amazing insights into the human psyche. Even though you are analyzing a show, it helps us all to see our own behaviors and how to work on them. I'm recently divorced and found your videos at the right time. I loved what you said at the end of this video about facing your own crises and getting through it. And what you said about being lonely also resonated with me. At first, being alone was very difficult. But then I learned to sit in my own head and start to love myself for me. Now I love being alone! It is good to face our own feelings and demons in order to become mentally healthier. I appreciate all of your videos! Thank you! Wish I could go to your shows. Good luck with all of your endeavors.
thank you 🤗 and thanks for sharing your personal story
I love love love this channel!!!
thank you 😻
I love your side performances and commentary! So happy to be here
thank you! happy to have you here
I sincerely hope Chelsea has her 'Deeps' moment at the altar and respectfully says No. Like Deeps, she is a wonderful person and deserves someone who is ALL IN.
totally!
I love hearing you talk. You are like the smart fabulous bigger sibling I never had
that's sweet, happy to be the older sibling
Girl I watched the fight happen and got PTSD from an argument I started with my ex 😂 It’s the growth for me, though. You wouldn’t be able to see it and know it for what it is until you’ve moved past it mentally.
I think every relationship on love is blind shows us a little bit more about ourselves from an outsider’s point of view.
100%
Indie you’re ahhh-mazing. ❤
I feel for Marshall attracting someone who he thinks as potential aka “project”…
Ahhh. The road to wholeness starts with reliving the unresolved childhood core wounds in order to repair.
Pain is a gift once the individual comes to accept that healing and remembering true love is an inside job.
Complex relationships shows up once we’re in a relationship in order to heal the wounds. Of course, everything is 95% childhood conditioning.
This is a fascinating experiment and beautiful to OBSERVE once we process our own shadow.
Cheers to remembering that we are all perfect at the core of our being before we were conditioned to believe the fragile nature of EGO.
Great job Indie Nile. ❤
thank you so much! for watching and for leaving thoughtful comments
Wow good catch with Tiffany’s Financial trauma! Nobody talks about that
yeah i'm very curious how things will turn out with Tiff & Brett at the altar. i feel it could go either way
Greetings from Thailand! I just want to say thank you for sharing your wisdom with us, your videos are therapeutic to me! Also love your sense of humor :)
Thank you so much! warmest greetings back to you in Thailand. I have the fondest memories of being there 7 years ago
You r a therapist at heart 😂♥️♥️♥️
More videos on LIB please, girl! 😘😘😘
thank you! will do. i can't wait to see what's gonna happen at the altar!
I was watching jessiewoo review about why Marshall would allow Jackie’s behaviour is because she is his type. He had access to his type for the first time and in order to keep her…welp he allows way too much from her