Agreed. People go through so much crap in their own lives, I don't know why humans desire to pile more on to others. The thing your nephew has to remember is that there's always help, and that there are communities and social groups out there that will accept him for who he is, but he can only reach that part of his life if he makes it through the high school. Life's a pie, and this is a tiny slice! I'm sure if he receives enough love and support from his family, it will give him strength! :)
I love it when world-building includes romance, relationships, and sexuality. It stands to reason that a fantasy or sci-fi world would be much more lenient regarding sexuality... or possibly more puritanical.
Phenomenal video. You hit the nail on the head with: "It's tough being a straight, tough alpha male." I wrote a paper in college about sexuality in video games, where I talked about Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Fable, and the ways they deal with sexuality. I hope you don't mind if I share this on the aFoD Facebook page.
Great topic you're launching into; I'm excited to see where the discussion leads. I can definitely recall making easy gay jokes in gaming sessions in High School which I'd like to put down to being dumb and young and going for an easy laugh but I recognize the problems they represent. Years later, I remember causing confusion in my fellow D&D gamers by playing a middle aged halfling bard with a wife in tow. Just goes to show the problem of representing any complex relationship in game.
I actually enjoy it when settings reflect some prejudice, because it makes for dynamic character development. At the same time, I think it is cool when a GM can world-build in such a way that issues of sexuality, romance, and relationships are unconventional.
Very interesting. I expect gay players can bring a lot to the table and help challenge tired old tropes that tend to crop up in current gaming settings/scenarios. Definitely a creative step forward. Onward!
P1. we are all flesh at the end of the day. love this, it's something I consider for characters I play. I have a complicated character in vampire who is dealing with her intense feelings for one of the characters after becoming blood bound to one of them, as she isn't defined sexually but was brought up to be with a man, and this other woman overpowers her senses now. my last hunter character ended up coming out as the character evolved in game (is a bit of a slightly butch stereotype I guess?)
Yes, media plays a huge role in our perceptions of others. And gaming is influenced so much by all sorts of media. And yeah, I imagine Vampire is better venue for homosexual issues than most of the fantasy settings.
Thank you for your response! Yes, SIFRP is a good setting for homosexual characters. Speaking of which, tomorrow I will be uploading a Gaymer episode about homosexuality in fantasy worlds. Glad you enjoy my work!
That was a really interesting video Aaron. Personally I've never had any issues or conflicts with gay players because I don't see why something like that should happen. In our gaming club there's a couple of friends that are gay and no one has never had any problem or anything like that because it's just their choice of things and all of us respect that.
I really pictured vampires as asexual anyway, being undead having changed them, not to mention the drinking of blood being better than sex to them anyway - but there's always this hyper-sexualization of vampires in various media. Even the most mechanical 'feeding' scenes have a very naturally sexual tone to them.. A great game for so many reasons!
It's okay, Jason, we can't ALL be Betas ;-). So far, all signs point to an open-minded community, with some bad apples trying (unsuccessfully) to spoil the bunch. Thanks for the support!
I'm hoping that this series doesn't seem too preachy or victimized. I believe in presenting my perspective nonchalantly, so that it is relatable. Ultimately, I'm just trying to add new perspective to the discussion, and spread some awareness. This is just me sharing my experience in order create some new dialogue.
I'm straight and I have played with straights, bisexuals, transgenders, homosexuals of all kinds^^ As a matter of fact, two players in one of my campaigns choose to chance their sex that same year (or rather, did come to turns with it during that time or earlier). The only thing I regret about all that is that as a ST I kind of suck at playing the different sexuality other then straight, but that is something I'm working on.
I've had a few gay players and it has never been an issue, it never even came up outside of the fact that one of the guys was only invited because he was dating one of my existing players. I don't know if apathy counts as acceptance but that was pretty much my take on it. I have had an issue with a gay character played by someone who wasn't gay. The character was literally the personification of the common homophobic fears when he was roleplaying sexual/romantic scenes. That wasn't fun.
I once had an NPC bad ass Orc King that was gay. His "elite guard" was actually his harem. The PC's had NO idea, and never figured it out. It was an interesting dimension to that character. I currently have a player who is gay. He is playing a straight laced married "traditional values" sort of guy, doing a great job. Never seen it the other way around though, that in itself is thought provoking. Absolutely nothing offensive in this vid btw.
I don't think I played much again till well after my consciousness raising (not that I was ever personally homophobic -- that consciousness raising took place in my long ago teens reading Ursula LeGuin -- but I learned how much casual slurs can hurt). More recently I've GMed for kids, including my current solo game with my daughter, so romance and sexuality aren't really issues. But... (continued again)
From the people I have met in the community, it is accepting. I'm a straight man and I've played a character who was bi and everyone in the party was fine with it.
I wonder, do you enjoy exploring prejudice in RPGs or do you prefer settings to assume a fair degree of progressiveness? Particularly in regards historical RPGs, it's matter I've often considered before. E.g. do I make my 1920s Call of Cthulhu game anachronistic and assume progressiveness for fear of making some of my players uncomfortable?
I wonder if diversity of sexuality would be more accepted in a more polytheistic polysentient world. Among many, even most, I expect yes. But there would undoubtedly be sects that were hetero- or even homo-normative, possibly with aggressive stances toward noncomforming types. In an adult game it might be interesting to play with that kind of thing, perhaps putting the macho PCs in the midst of a homo-normative culture and seeing how they fare.
I kind of wish this topic wasn't such an issue, as I want to think that we've come farther than this. I've had gay players in my games before, a role player is a role player. I've had friends that were gay, lesbian, whatever. I really don't think it's an issue in a role playing game. Last local gaming store we had a guy with a wig and a bra come in to play. The issue the people had was his smell, not his sexual or dressing preferences.
I've got a human a dwarven pig farmer in my village that are gay, but no one's really questioned it yet. Regardless, they sure bicker like an old married couple. Haven't named them properly yet, as I think Ernie and Bert isn't as unique as all that.
I don;t think that certain systems make sexuality less relevant. The story and campaign decide their relevance. My style of gaming is to create truthful characters, so I often ponder their sexuality, though it is not always defined or expressed in their careers as adventurers/heroes.
Also, I've played a female character, just to uncomfortably hit up on another player character who happened to be a guy. She was quite loose and I named her Latoya Jackson.. Lots of fun. I really don't care if someone is gay or not personally, and think they should be able to marry. After all, why should only heterosexuals get to be miserable.
Zero experiences with gay players that I know of - A few bisexual/gay characters over the years - more prevalent in Vampire. There were some pretty moronic and immature interactions in the old days, but moreso I describe them this way as I would interactions with a poorly-acted black or Hispanic character; we were small town folk from Canadia and only had experiences with them on tv or movies - so personality traits and speech patterns.. and indeed non-heterosexuality were exaggerated.
Sadly, I don't think I could do it either. The only way I can play a female character or gay man and I need to describe a attraction, sexual or not, I would do it in third person.
To the question you ask: when I was a kid (probably about your age) first playing D&D in the unenlightened 80s we mocked one another with homophobic jabs incessently. We meant that the other guy was weak and unmanly, not that he actually wanted to have sex with men, which was in our minds out of the question -- and worse than if we'd actually been openly anti-gay. I don't think we had any gay players pass through our game, but if we did, they must've felt terrible. (continued)
Ive found typically a lot of gay players play the opposite gender for some reason, but they arent cross-dressers or gender-switchers. Was kinda strange. I wonder if they were concerned I wouldnt let them have a romance of the same gender.
I don’t think I have ever played with a gay player, or at least one out of the closet. Now, I have played with male players who have had female characters, but I think they don’t take it seriously because they make them lesbian. When a male makes a female character and makes them a lesbian, I can’t help but think they cop out playing lesbians. I don’t think they can describe sexual attraction to a male.
It has never been an issue while gaming, it came up during a random conversation. I was quite surprised, honestly... you think you know a guy *shakes head*
Never played gay character or gender bent as a player. Just not something I am looking at playing. It is hard enough being a single male in the gamer community, over the age of 40, still exploring his own identity let alone from a totally different point of view.
I know homosexual players, though, I my self have not gamed with them(I think they thought I would judge them). I have no problems with how they play. I have been in games with gay characters and it has never been an issue as the characters get to know each other they become more accepting of the others. I play both male and female characters and no one seems to have a problem with that. So, way to go and play what you want to play.
P2. My gnome barbarian is a sweet naive pleasant individual... 99% of the time... I play them as though in their early teens(ish) and they haven't really got much of a sexually active mind. if they meet an individual they like at some point this could change, but I don't see them as having a sexuality at moment? more an absence of issue with what she may get attracted to, more likely gender isn't an issue for her, si I guess bi/pansexual... want to know what pansexual is, google it =)
Two gay men in my last group and no they were not a couple. None of us had a problem with it and we did go to see them both at their burlesque show. Funny enough we met several LGBT people there who were gaymers.
I am a gay gamer (Well I am predominantly gay, but sexuality is far more complex than that). I DM'd played in many many games over the years, and it is interesting to think about sexuality in gaming. I have played gay, straight and bisexual characters over the years. In d&d and similar settings I try not to get into sexuality as it isnt really relevant. However in games like WOD sexuality can be pretty integral to plot and character. I find it just as easy to play sexuality other than my own.
Just as I find it just as easy to play both men and women. I think it is all about relevance really. I have played stereotypical mincing gay characters and stereotypical beer swigging alpha males...I find that stereotype can really help sometimes...Gaming is often about playing things bigger than real life.
Agreed. People go through so much crap in their own lives, I don't know why humans desire to pile more on to others. The thing your nephew has to remember is that there's always help, and that there are communities and social groups out there that will accept him for who he is, but he can only reach that part of his life if he makes it through the high school. Life's a pie, and this is a tiny slice! I'm sure if he receives enough love and support from his family, it will give him strength! :)
I love it when world-building includes romance, relationships, and sexuality. It stands to reason that a fantasy or sci-fi world would be much more lenient regarding sexuality... or possibly more puritanical.
Phenomenal video. You hit the nail on the head with: "It's tough being a straight, tough alpha male." I wrote a paper in college about sexuality in video games, where I talked about Mass Effect, Dragon Age, and Fable, and the ways they deal with sexuality. I hope you don't mind if I share this on the aFoD Facebook page.
I agree with that final sentiment. Characters in these games are often archetypes, so the stereotype route is somewhat appropriate.
Great topic you're launching into; I'm excited to see where the discussion leads. I can definitely recall making easy gay jokes in gaming sessions in High School which I'd like to put down to being dumb and young and going for an easy laugh but I recognize the problems they represent.
Years later, I remember causing confusion in my fellow D&D gamers by playing a middle aged halfling bard with a wife in tow. Just goes to show the problem of representing any complex relationship in game.
Agreed. Those who try too hard are often over-compensating, whether it be statistics or sexuality.
I actually enjoy it when settings reflect some prejudice, because it makes for dynamic character development. At the same time, I think it is cool when a GM can world-build in such a way that issues of sexuality, romance, and relationships are unconventional.
Very interesting. I expect gay players can bring a lot to the table and help challenge tired old tropes that tend to crop up in current gaming settings/scenarios. Definitely a creative step forward. Onward!
P1. we are all flesh at the end of the day. love this, it's something I consider for characters I play. I have a complicated character in vampire who is dealing with her intense feelings for one of the characters after becoming blood bound to one of them, as she isn't defined sexually but was brought up to be with a man, and this other woman overpowers her senses now. my last hunter character ended up coming out as the character evolved in game (is a bit of a slightly butch stereotype I guess?)
Yes, media plays a huge role in our perceptions of others. And gaming is influenced so much by all sorts of media. And yeah, I imagine Vampire is better venue for homosexual issues than most of the fantasy settings.
Thank you for your response! Yes, SIFRP is a good setting for homosexual characters. Speaking of which, tomorrow I will be uploading a Gaymer episode about homosexuality in fantasy worlds. Glad you enjoy my work!
Love that Orc King idea! And I have often wanted to play a socially conservative, family-values type.
That was a really interesting video Aaron.
Personally I've never had any issues or conflicts with gay players because I don't see why something like that should happen. In our gaming club there's a couple of friends that are gay and no one has never had any problem or anything like that because it's just their choice of things and all of us respect that.
I really pictured vampires as asexual anyway, being undead having changed them, not to mention the drinking of blood being better than sex to them anyway - but there's always this hyper-sexualization of vampires in various media. Even the most mechanical 'feeding' scenes have a very naturally sexual tone to them.. A great game for so many reasons!
Sweet! Glad you found my little corner of the internet. Always happy to see other gaymers out there. ;)
It's okay, Jason, we can't ALL be Betas ;-). So far, all signs point to an open-minded community, with some bad apples trying (unsuccessfully) to spoil the bunch. Thanks for the support!
I'm hoping that this series doesn't seem too preachy or victimized. I believe in presenting my perspective nonchalantly, so that it is relatable. Ultimately, I'm just trying to add new perspective to the discussion, and spread some awareness. This is just me sharing my experience in order create some new dialogue.
I'm straight and I have played with straights, bisexuals, transgenders, homosexuals of all kinds^^ As a matter of fact, two players in one of my campaigns choose to chance their sex that same year (or rather, did come to turns with it during that time or earlier). The only thing I regret about all that is that as a ST I kind of suck at playing the different sexuality other then straight, but that is something I'm working on.
I've had a few gay players and it has never been an issue, it never even came up outside of the fact that one of the guys was only invited because he was dating one of my existing players. I don't know if apathy counts as acceptance but that was pretty much my take on it.
I have had an issue with a gay character played by someone who wasn't gay. The character was literally the personification of the common homophobic fears when he was roleplaying sexual/romantic scenes. That wasn't fun.
Thank you. Not to mention, we never know who's being affected by our words in everyday life as well! :)
I once had an NPC bad ass Orc King that was gay. His "elite guard" was actually his harem. The PC's had NO idea, and never figured it out. It was an interesting dimension to that character.
I currently have a player who is gay. He is playing a straight laced married "traditional values" sort of guy, doing a great job. Never seen it the other way around though, that in itself is thought provoking.
Absolutely nothing offensive in this vid btw.
I don't think I played much again till well after my consciousness raising (not that I was ever personally homophobic -- that consciousness raising took place in my long ago teens reading Ursula LeGuin -- but I learned how much casual slurs can hurt). More recently I've GMed for kids, including my current solo game with my daughter, so romance and sexuality aren't really issues. But... (continued again)
From the people I have met in the community, it is accepting. I'm a straight man and I've played a character who was bi and everyone in the party was fine with it.
I wonder, do you enjoy exploring prejudice in RPGs or do you prefer settings to assume a fair degree of progressiveness? Particularly in regards historical RPGs, it's matter I've often considered before. E.g. do I make my 1920s Call of Cthulhu game anachronistic and assume progressiveness for fear of making some of my players uncomfortable?
I wonder if diversity of sexuality would be more accepted in a more polytheistic polysentient world. Among many, even most, I expect yes. But there would undoubtedly be sects that were hetero- or even homo-normative, possibly with aggressive stances toward noncomforming types. In an adult game it might be interesting to play with that kind of thing, perhaps putting the macho PCs in the midst of a homo-normative culture and seeing how they fare.
I kind of wish this topic wasn't such an issue, as I want to think that we've come farther than this. I've had gay players in my games before, a role player is a role player. I've had friends that were gay, lesbian, whatever. I really don't think it's an issue in a role playing game. Last local gaming store we had a guy with a wig and a bra come in to play. The issue the people had was his smell, not his sexual or dressing preferences.
I've got a human a dwarven pig farmer in my village that are gay, but no one's really questioned it yet. Regardless, they sure bicker like an old married couple. Haven't named them properly yet, as I think Ernie and Bert isn't as unique as all that.
I don;t think that certain systems make sexuality less relevant. The story and campaign decide their relevance. My style of gaming is to create truthful characters, so I often ponder their sexuality, though it is not always defined or expressed in their careers as adventurers/heroes.
Also, I've played a female character, just to uncomfortably hit up on another player character who happened to be a guy. She was quite loose and I named her Latoya Jackson.. Lots of fun. I really don't care if someone is gay or not personally, and think they should be able to marry. After all, why should only heterosexuals get to be miserable.
Zero experiences with gay players that I know of - A few bisexual/gay characters over the years - more prevalent in Vampire. There were some pretty moronic and immature interactions in the old days, but moreso I describe them this way as I would interactions with a poorly-acted black or Hispanic character; we were small town folk from Canadia and only had experiences with them on tv or movies - so personality traits and speech patterns.. and indeed non-heterosexuality were exaggerated.
OMG another Gaymer ^_^ i thought i was the only one ... well not really i run a group with 2 other gay men and a bi guy :D
Sadly, I don't think I could do it either. The only way I can play a female character or gay man and I need to describe a attraction, sexual or not, I would do it in third person.
I think that was an appropriate decision, personally. The alternative could have been that you didn't say anything, and the player was offended.
To the question you ask: when I was a kid (probably about your age) first playing D&D in the unenlightened 80s we mocked one another with homophobic jabs incessently. We meant that the other guy was weak and unmanly, not that he actually wanted to have sex with men, which was in our minds out of the question -- and worse than if we'd actually been openly anti-gay. I don't think we had any gay players pass through our game, but if we did, they must've felt terrible. (continued)
Aaron, you are cool with me.....as long as you don't LARP. That activity can not be tolerated..lolz =D
I agree, the real issue is Gamer Hygiene! ;)
Ive found typically a lot of gay players play the opposite gender for some reason, but they arent cross-dressers or gender-switchers. Was kinda strange. I wonder if they were concerned I wouldnt let them have a romance of the same gender.
Thank you so much! That sounds like a very cool paper. Please, share-away!
I don’t think I have ever played with a gay player, or at least one out of the closet. Now, I have played with male players who have had female characters, but I think they don’t take it seriously because they make them lesbian. When a male makes a female character and makes them a lesbian, I can’t help but think they cop out playing lesbians. I don’t think they can describe sexual attraction to a male.
I think that is a wise statement.
I don't have experience with gay players (or gay people at all), but I recently found out that I have a homophobe in my group.
Woot woot! Thank you, thank you! It really means a lot.
It has never been an issue while gaming, it came up during a random conversation. I was quite surprised, honestly... you think you know a guy *shakes head*
Never played gay character or gender bent as a player. Just not something I am looking at playing. It is hard enough being a single male in the gamer community, over the age of 40, still exploring his own identity let alone from a totally different point of view.
Well done, young man.
Subscribed and well said.
I know homosexual players, though, I my self have not gamed with them(I think they thought I would judge them). I have no problems with how they play. I have been in games with gay characters and it has never been an issue as the characters get to know each other they become more accepting of the others. I play both male and female characters and no one seems to have a problem with that. So, way to go and play what you want to play.
I wonder if that "Gaymer" will become a thing just like the "girlgamers" kkk
That's a shame. Hopefully it won't interfere with your gaming.
Thank you, very much!
P2. My gnome barbarian is a sweet naive pleasant individual... 99% of the time... I play them as though in their early teens(ish) and they haven't really got much of a sexually active mind. if they meet an individual they like at some point this could change, but I don't see them as having a sexuality at moment? more an absence of issue with what she may get attracted to, more likely gender isn't an issue for her, si I guess bi/pansexual... want to know what pansexual is, google it =)
Two gay men in my last group and no they were not a couple. None of us had a problem with it and we did go to see them both at their burlesque show. Funny enough we met several LGBT people there who were gaymers.
I am a gay gamer (Well I am predominantly gay, but sexuality is far more complex than that). I DM'd played in many many games over the years, and it is interesting to think about sexuality in gaming. I have played gay, straight and bisexual characters over the years. In d&d and similar settings I try not to get into sexuality as it isnt really relevant. However in games like WOD sexuality can be pretty integral to plot and character. I find it just as easy to play sexuality other than my own.
Just as I find it just as easy to play both men and women. I think it is all about relevance really. I have played stereotypical mincing gay characters and stereotypical beer swigging alpha males...I find that stereotype can really help sometimes...Gaming is often about playing things bigger than real life.