I ALMOST RELAPSED...
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I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
My Story
My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
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Insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results... DON'T BE INSANE NOAH!
+Anita Bath :)
You're a bigger man than me! I'm gonna pray for you. I feel you could do really well in a smaller church where people are more connected and caring. Dive into the word and you'll find the Holy Spirit can REALLY help. GOD BLESS You jimmany crickets!!!
I am little surprised that you didn't tell your wonderful wife how you were feeling bad. I bet she would have been there for you for support and I would guess that expressing that feeling would help even to some degree.
bignoknow as someone with social anxiety disorder, I know exactly how liberating and awesome it feels to drink. I complete, and I feel like the person I should have been.
Jiminy crickets... I went through a similar situation last night, I'm 5 years sober. Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts, they help me in this hard time. I've wandered into the wrong direction in my sobriety and I'm grateful it didn't end me. We just gotta make a change if we want things to be different. Wish you the best man, I'll be going to a meeting tonight.
Jiminy Crickets! Your vlogs are massively helpful.
jiminy crickets! i relate so much to this, thanks bro. alcoholism has taken so much from me and ive tried to stop many times but i always fall into it again. i try to fix my anxiety, depression, and other personal issues through drinking and it never works out. im trying harder than ever to stay sober. one day at a time.
Damn it's hard to stay sober, I feel like there's nothing to appreciate when I am. What you're talking about really sounds like how I feel here, like, alcohol has helped me not be miserable, makes me feel like nothing can bother me (I got really bad anxiety and depression), and I feel likeeverything around me is okay and I'm okay and at peace when I am drunk.. I gotta find something to appreciate, something that makes me happy. I can't remember what happiness feels like anymore, it's been that long, I genially have forgotten what happiness and appreciating things even feels like. Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience, and I'm gonna keep trying to find a way. Man I'm sick of chasing after this feeling, I'm sick of not being able to be happy sober, I want to be happy without having to get drunk! I started drinking because I was extremely anxious about problems in my life, but now my main problem is alcohol and just being sober sucks. Those other problems don't even matter anymore, I've just grown to be.. attached to alcohol, whenever I get the money I buy loads of it and get so drunk that I don't even know what's going on around me, and it's just me and music blasting in my headset, and I just feel completely awesome. And I don't get drunk as easy as I used to. Used to be able to drink beers and get drunk, but now because I have to get way many too beers for that to work I've moved on to drinking spirits. Like vodka, whiskey, rum.. Which is probably fucking my liver up even worse. Anyway, subbing to you, take care, I'm gonna try and fix my shit up, I don't know how I'm gonna.. I honestly haven't got a fucking clue, and there's no way in hell I can do it alone so I'm gonna need my family's support. But thanks for making the video. Seeing your success and many others' successes makes me want to be just like that too.
I can hear how sensitive it is in your voice. You are really trying and doing it. You are making good decisions, so thank you for sharing your experience and motivating me.
I have been watching your videos for a couple of months now. I'm also a recovering alcoholic and your videos are very helpful to watch. I've been sober for 21 mths. now so I can relate with many different types of thoughts and feelings as I'm at a similar time frame. Your message is important to me and others I'm sure , so keep up the good work! I like to know that I can help others by talking and listening so I want to let you know that you have made a difference!
6yrs sober from alcohol. I suffer from depression. Have always enjoyed lifting for the feel good of it. I have a highly addictive nature that has self medicated my mental issues. So having you talk so openly on your channel really helps with hearing how you cope with life's challenges. Started a gratitude journal and look forward to more videos. Oh ya Chimney cricket so you know I watched the end. Good stuff Noah
JIMINY CRICKETS, I was sent here by a tweet that appeared in my Twitter feed from someone I follow. I watched this entire video and read your description as well. I will be six years sober March 1st and I totally understand what it's like to face a new trigger. The obvious triggers have become quite easy to manage. The more I practice self care, the stronger I become at handling new ones. Because I'm still working at healing myself from ptsd (I'm with a psychotherapist that specializes in this condition), it has become a constant reminder that if I ever use any substance, legal or illegal, that the consequences can be deadly to myself and/or others. And that alone scares the heck out of me. You realize how blessed you are to have been born with the tenacity to live, but also a deep sense of awareness to find the real reason of what was causing you to feel so emotionally unstable. Thank you for sharing your story and being so publicly open with your sobriety and the struggles that accompany it. You have given me more hope and made me feel less awkward for being sober. 😊
JIMINEY CRICKETS NOAH!!!
I've been sober for 1 week now. Actually, I'm a long haul trucker, and I can be out for weeks and have no problem craving anything. It's when I go home is where I have the problem. I now joined a cool AA group in Palm Springs, and through watching yours and others inspirational videos, I feel I have the support I need. Thanks buddy....keep up the great work. I can't wait to speak my story to others so I can help them as well.
Keep doing what you're doing we have a lot of the similarities im an alcoholic and have anxiety when I hear you it feels like I'm reading a book of my life , thank you for sharing your story
Jiminy Cricket. I appreciate your share, Noah. I have 9 months of sobriety and have been twelve steppin for a few years now. In the past few days, I've been super happy to plan a big trip in Indonesia with my brother whom I rarely see and I research all the things we want to do...and wouldn't you know, the cunning and powerful obsession to drink also wormed its way into my happy thoughts. I found myself fantasizing about gettin faded as you say on the beach, the plane, the boat, etc. This trip is 8 months away and my BS disease has me miserably fighting myself right now. Thankfully and humbly, I have my tools and am consciously trying to use them. I needed some encouragement a second ago and found your vid so thank you. I feel better. I wish you happy joyous and free days ahead.
I am 24 days sober and in those days I lost 2 family members and my mom got in a bad car accident yesterday....thank you for this video it is truly what I needed to hear today! Keep up the good work it meant a lot to this guy!
Jimminy, I am here. You mentioned the feeling of wanting to get wasted at the mocktail party. I want to tune out as well, knowing that I have been triggered yesterday. I am here trying to avoid collapsing. I'm just over 6 months sober and I can't call anyone I know because I am ashamed of my desire to quit coping. Thanks for this video.
Jiminy Cricket. ..knowing I am not alone is a great comfort. I came close yesterday myself. 20 days and hopefully I can count today as 21. Your videos have been a great help and inspiration. Thank you! Hang in there and I will try to do the same.
Jiminy Crickets. I not only watched the whole video, but did so on the edge of my seat. I am not an alcoholic, but it has touched my life directly as it has so many others. This was incredibly moving. What a journey you are on.......what courage and what insight. Incredible.
Keep them coming, your videos are inspirational. I'm not an alcoholic but my husband is! You help me, to help him and try to understand him... He has good days and bad days.... And your videos makes me feel not so alone and I know it's not my fault, when he has a bad day... We are working on it one day at a time!! Thank you sooo much for Sharing! It helps more then you know!
I feel the same about my depression. If my depression gets worse, all hell will break loose. It's important to stick to your sobriety. However, accept that relapse can happen and that it's okay if it does happen.
I want to hug you!
I've suffered with depression for 15+ years, and I've struggled with Substance Abuse myself (been clean from the offending poison since 12/08)
unfortunately, relapses happen, but you acknowledged and stopped the cycle asap!
even if you trip and stumble on your journey , you're still moving forward.- and as long as you get back up, you're golden!!
good luck on your journey. as a new sub I can't wait to see more!!!
Hey Noah,
I kept this video on a playlist I made specifically for this topic and I actually made a comment on this roughly 2-3 years ago. I’m happy to say I have been sober for 3 years now. Thank you! I never forget about this vid when I think about my past.
look how far you've come, how much you've learned and grown and how much wisdom you share. I'm particularly happy for you to finally be tested and found that you realize your relationships are more valuable than the false or quick attempt and grabbing for what use to seem to be all the answer, to knowing it's a horrible trap. you've learned that truth, you reached out to confide in those you love and you have got to be extremely proud of such a milestone. you've realized and shared another catch that the memory of even fake, mock drink triggers places you don't need to entertain, possibly saving someone else a relapse. everyone knows what a wonderful gift you have and I hope you will find a peace and acceptance in overcoming discomfort without having to feel victimized my that temptation. this experience and your wisdom in not blowing it off has shown incredible strength. Seems hard to find answers for all of us wondering how our loved ones can be outside of our grasp to help...when we want more than anything to do anything we can to tip the scale while feeling clueless at times to understand. Sharing so intimately, your incredible journey gives me hope for others but teaching me that to understand is a daily journey that doesn't always mean straight and smooth...but we all grow from being challenged in all forms of life's twist and turns. And I appreciate having a place to learn about some important things that help even non a diction issues. We are all in life together and I pray you continue for ward with the most beautiful days ahead!
THANK YOU so much for making these videos and being vulnerable. I've been sober for just over two years and I have been struggling tremendously with wanting to go back out. You helped me tonight. It's nice to not feel alone and to hear there is a way out.
Hi I watched to the end. I too nearly relapsed last night , brought the drink poured the drink even had it in my hand , but my brain screamed at me not too. Within seconds the poison was down the sink. I have spent all night recreating why , even woke up this morning with a hangover feeling, I found your blog and you have made sense of it. Today I need to refocus and the spiral you talk about makes so much sense to me , stay well thank you
+Amanda Fletcher wow, my stomach turned just reading how close you came. I have come that close many times just not recently. Thanks for this raw share. It will benefit others as it has me. Bottom line is you did not drink (this time) and have given yourself a chance to bolster your defense for the next time you may feel tempted. Stay brave in all you face.
I stumbled on your channel due to looking into trt. I'm very impressed with your authenticity and vulnerability. Thank you for sharing.
Jimmy crickets........much respect for staying strong Noah. And thank you for the uplifting message.
+fire4breakfast No, thank you!
Jimnity Cricket. Thank you Noah for sharing your almost relapsed video. I just celebrated another 1yr Feb 22. I can relate to so much of what you shared, especially the part where your last drunk did nothing for you. Your an inspiration to me and I love your honesty. It wasn't working for me anymore either. What I'm doing different this time is "working an active program". I feel really good today, especially since I had a little AA meeting right here on my couch listening to you. Thank you for that and with that, I will stay sober today.
This is the second video of yours I've watched and something I could realise Is how good you are at reasoning and connecting the dots of feelings and behaviours we all go through. Please take this comment as a congratulation for what you're doing for your life and also for many others life. Thank you.
Drinking and drugging are like borrowing happiness from tomorrow at a high interest rate. Not sure who said that quote but it's so true.
My yoga instructor says "focus on one task at a time" and I never thought that would be so hard but it is hard to focus so one on one with myself and an activity. Really it means to live in the present moment with knowledge based on your past experiences and for your future. Ever think about meditation either guided or silent? It helps me a lot. Your a very intelligent and should trust yourself a little more because you keep choosing to be aware of your thoughts and actions to care for yourself. When you have self care, you have your higher self to lean on when you feel so low. Feel better, man.
Jiminy crickets. Thanks for sharing Noah. The comment on how a relapse happens before you even use really hit me. I am also fighting addiction and I am on TRT, so seeing how far you have come gives me hope.
Jiminy Crickets! Good job on your sobriety man. Hope I can do it. Have my silver 24hr and red 1month, looking to get my gold 2month. Got 60 days to do it. Thanks for the video man! It helped me keep in mind that this shitty feeling is going to go away one day and I have to be able to go back and remember why I am quitting
I found your channel when i was at my lowest point i was suicidal, lost, sick, crazy and didn't have a strong will to want to be sober. But if I had've drank or used again I could've completely lost my mind and probably wouldn't have made it out alive. You truly helped me remind myself of my reason to get clean. I felt more comfortable about getting help for my mental health and recovery. And that it gets better!!
Hearing someone else's story is my favorite thing. Your channel is real and honest telling your story honestly on the good sides and bad. Sobriety is not easy.! and respect and appreciate you so so much. Keep being the real honest you.You're great. You got this Noah
Wow, for once I don't know what to say but thank you. Your words fill me up and I'm sending lots of love your way. Thank you for not giving up.
stay strong BigNo you're helping more people than you know. especially myself!!!!!!!
Jiminy C's!! Good on you for being so open, I truly admire that. And the fact you were able to be honest with your wife and not 'go there' shows some real strength. I may not comment a lot but love your videos. Hang in there 👍🏻
Just discovered you and your great channel. It's fantastic and so helpful for those of us who have walked a path all too similar to yours. I have just started documenting my journey to sobriety here on youtube. Only 6 weeks in, but I already feel so happy about finally not feeling shame on a daily basis! Hearing stories like yours and like the ones on Recovery Elevator (podcast) is a daily life saver for me. Thank you!!
(Jiminity Crickets)
Jiminy crickets. I feel ya bro. I almost gave in last night. But I woke up today feeling proud and happy that I let it pass. Alcohol has taken from me. And letting it back in just stops me from taking things back.
We've got this!
Jiminy Crickets!
Thanks for sharing, sometimes it's such a struggle to just keep going and keep trying but after you get through the sucky parts, it's so worth it. Glad you have some support as well, that's awesome.
+Erulastiel (ArtsyOtaku) It's worth it indeed.
you being so open and self-aware about your struggles has to be so helpful to your viewers who suffer from addiction. this was a huge win for you, though. pat yourself on the back and keep doing what you need to do to stay healthy. also, I was wondering if you have had or plan to talk to your cf coach about what happened. as a crossfitter myself, I understand how involved that community is. ...
anyway, well done.
Em
jiminy crickets!
I appreciate your videos. I am 2 years completely free of alcohol on 02/24/16. I maintained a job and was/am a single mother that drank beer each night and weekends. I'll just have two. Two turns to four, turns to six, ... I do not participate in a twelve step program, but I did attend outpatient counseling. It is hard. Alcohol is everywhere. And for someone who relied on it so heavily for 25 years (I am 43), it seems to be stalking me at times with all the advertisements, beer trucks, etc. I especially have a hard time in the spring. There is this overwhelming sense of happiness and the first place I want to turn is to a Miller Lite.
Knowing that I could fail made me want to tell as few people as possible. You have the answer. Knowing that you will go right back in that hole if you partake is all that you need to know.
You have an incredible intelligence. PLEASE do not undermine it. Every day is not going to be a fairy tale. You have an incredible woman who has withstood a lot of pain to be with you. She deserves to be with the man that you TRULY are meant to be.
Wow Man.....Such open honesty with yourself and your audience.....Thanks, and I'm sure this helped someone who got this message.
I've watched this a few times now... I think you are actually doing well with self evaluation. That's pretty important, it's easier to deal with it if you aren't in denial
Jiminy crickets bro. I'm not an addict but I do suffer anxiety and depression, tragic childhood, post traumatic. love your candor and way on point communication skills, you're the shit bro. be well, stay well. you're to bright and dynamic a mind to drown in self neglect. peace.
Thank you for sharing, it takes a strong person to share in a public setting like this. you are helping so many people by doing so. good on you brother. I have relapsed twice. This addiction goes no where. It will jump and kick you in the face before when you are down. Keep up the fight.
Jiminy Crickets. Much love man, you're an inspiration in what you do. Keep battling hard, your life, in every sense of the word is worth fighting for.
It is a brave thing for you to be as transparent to everyone when you share your experiences with us. I too once struggled with depression and has always sought relief with a lot of work. Good thing you are working with your naturopath which is very helpful. I had drastically changed my diet with decreasing inflammation in the form of gluten, dairy and eggs while increasing my intake of whole and nutrient-dense food. My biggest downfall is my testosterone and I trialed one year of being off from it, but somehow I can only go up to 250 the most even with changes to diet and elimination of stress. When I was on hormone replacement, I tried shots and gels, all of which gave me sudden peaks and lows. And because I am a converter, my estrogen levels go up and I end up with mood swings. Finally, I am back to the whole hormone replacement, and am now going towards bioidentical hormone replacements with use of pellets. The doctor who does this is not my naturopath, (I still go to her for supplements and general well-being), but a hormone specialist with BIOTE pellets. Pellets give you the best peak and steady levels for alteast 4-6 months, theoretically, before you get another insertion. BIOTE wants your levels to be between 900 - 1100, which they think (for 30 years of their own research), is optimal. I am still having issues (sexual) with peak of 760, and I had a follow-up 4 weeks post implantation. Boosted with two more pellets to hopefully get at levels of near 1100 which she suggest I should be coupled with lab work-ups to make sure I am in good health. I will see if this is helping with my fatigue levels,bedroom activity performance or well-being. Testosterone does have an effect with depression and is one of the factor from a multi-faceted approach of hitting all avenues. I pray just like you, I take time to work out, and at the end of the day, I am always grateful of the graces bestowed on us all. It keeps me humble, and contented and not to seek for something that I know I will not be able to obtain by now or may need time for me to reach. The values of perseverance will need a lot of understanding of humility, prudence and charity.. so hang in there. You are doing very well.
Sounds like you've been through allot and I appreciate your sharing some of your journey. Still working on cleaning up my diet more and more. Gluten is gone and I'm trying do decide if all grains are next. Seems likely. Sorry for your struggle to get your hormones back to good despite working so hard on the natural side of things. That must have been discouraging. Don't know much about the pellets but perhaps you will have good luck with that. Keep me posted if you like. Take care.
I'm proud to see the strength it took to overcome the urge. I admire your fight and perseverance like no other. You may or may not know it, but your gift, your purpose is to help other people. If you ever have another close call, remember those of us that need you another day in your sobriety. I have no doubt your channel and your videos keep people alive and give them inspiration to heal themselves once and for all. Just don't ever give up! Feelings are just that and you came through it as I'm sure you have many times. I'm really glad I found your channel. You have no idea how grateful I am that your sharing your story. Thank you.
I believe your greatest strength is determination. You are determined to beat this. Since, 2014 you have been stacking up the win column buddy. Focus on that...
+Dmgolfer22 Good thing to focus on. I appreciate that bro. Be well.
Jiminy Crickets. I love someone that is in the throws of alcoholism and I'm trying hard to understand this disease. Thank you for giving your subscribers your insight.
Unfortunately we all go through this. Everytime I`m around people drinking, everytime I go out and I`m the only one not drinking, everytime I try and date a girl and she finds out i`m sober it seems to become a major issue. Good luck man and trust me I feel your pain a lot.
Thank you for sharing Noah, keep up the good work and stay sober, i have decided that giving in to my addiction is not an option otherwise my life turns upside down, and i never want to experience that anymore ever! There will always be triggers, and temptations, and our own heart may try to deceive us. But God is greater then our hearts and can guide us, support us and comfort us during trials and tribulations.
Crazy Noah, you make me feel like I need to talk about my similar journey! Seriously. I trace my alcohol addiction to my gut issues and after healing them I was able to get it under control. It finally made sense me when I realized I had gut issues and Candida at a young age. I quickly realized drinking balanced me out the same way sugar did! (My brain was used to the alcohol from the Candida)
I didn't really heal until my gut was healed.
Thanks for being honest and bringing light to how common alcoholism is at a young age!
I'm sure many would benefit from your story. You have a dynamic way of speaking to do I have no doubt it would be valuable. Healing the gut is among my most important tasks right now. I thank you for shedding a little light on re topic. Hope you and the fam are well.
Hey, I'm rooting for you! I was randomly looking up chemistry videos for my college course when I saw your 1 year sober video and decided I'd rather watch that than do homework. Suddenly I was engrossed in your story and was really, really hoping you were still sober. I'm so happy to hear you still are, in 2016. Keep it up, dude!
Jiminy Crickets!
Jimmy Crickets! (28m, been drinking on the daily since 21) you're actually the first channel I started to watch to get myself a plan going, See what I'm getting myself into. Congrats on being sober!!!!
Jiminy crickets, I really admire you (and your wife) for your strength and recognizing that this was an extremely scary situation for you and that you didn't let yourself slip again. Take everything one day at a time dude. Letting yourself have a drink and be artificially happy and free will never be as fulfilling as the day you are actually free from your anxiety and you are incredibly happy. I do believe recovery is possible for you Noah!
Jimmy crickets .. .. I agree with the many comments of considering public speaking.. . you are so inspiring and watching you gives me hope!
Jiminy Crickets! I feel this so much. I have 3 years, and most days are easy and u don't think about it, but the fake drinking is a tricky thing for sure. Sometimes sobriety sucks, but it's mostly amazing. Good job holding on and focusing back in.
Slip. . Sobriety loses its priority. . Sounds to me like you need to implement some meeting into your program. I've learned in my 3 years sober that once you recognize it you need to change your program. Sounds like your treating this exactly how your should. These things are going to happen and continue to keep happening. Keep your head up!! You can continue to win. Don't quit 5 minutes before the Miracle happens. . One day at a time!!
This video is SO INSPIRING and life-affirming. You turned that experience into a test, an accomplishment and a way to refocus. Sometimes you watch a video that makes you smile and feel good and whole and full of hope, even though you know there are so many more challenges ahead. Even though we may never meet, I will always remember j. crickets!
You shower me in kindness and I appreciate the sentiment very much. Wishing you well :)
Wow..that's pretty scary stuff. I get that EXACT feeling when drinking and I always look for the alcohol when I go over to friends parties and what not..I hope that's not signs of something like alcoholism, but I really appreciate you for bringing this to light for me. You might've saved me man! Jiminy Crickets and stay well Noah, you're an inspiration.
Hey my friend, you ARE so strong. I truly admire your willpower and fortitude.
You came "close" but you didn't. Take some hope in that. Don't dwell on the fact that it got to you but instead that you realized what was going on and DIDNT do anything.
Hang in brother.
And Jiminy Crickets. Of course I watch the whole thing you goof
Thank you...I totally get it. Love you to bits.
:)
Jiminy Crickets not just for this video but for all your videos man, they're all awesome and a massive help. Keep going brother :)
Jiminy Crickets.
Hang in there Noah, I am so glad that you haven't relapsed even though you had cravings! Way to go bro! That's how sobriety is built!
Don't get discouraged just because of one close call after 2 years of sobriety! What's important is that you haven't relapsed!
Jiminy Cricket..... Hi! I'm new and I've binge watched many of your videos. I'm looking for a way out of what I now know as "derealization." I was assessed by a professional who put a name to the craziness, which led me to dig deeper..... The first of your videos that I watched literally shocked me. You described my feelings and symptoms exactly. I, as a writer, get so frustrated when I'm unable to put what I'm feeling into words, and you did that... So, thanks for that. I have physical disabilities as well. It's all resulting from a bad accident I was in two years ago and it's so overwhelming. I am putting way to much in a comment. I'm subscribing. I appreciate what you're doing. It's helped me already and I hope we can get to know one another better.
Give yourself some credit, you nearly relapsed, but you didn't !!
even if you did you are wise enough to know it would be a one off.
you just keep keepin it real. Bless
Jiminy Crickets. I just relapsed two days ago man, and i'm so glad i happen to stumble upon this video just now. I really needed to watch this! I feel like i need to surround myself with more positive, helpful things like this, heck maybe even try a 12 step program. But, any who, again thanks for this video man! #onedayatatime
Jiminy Crickets!
Hey, congratulations on your hard work, staying sober is by far the hardest thing I've ever done, and guess what? I was sober for about 6 months until I relapsed last week, I'm drinking again today under the excuse that this is my last weekend drinking. I'm tired of my own excuses, and really scared because I don't know what else to do. I've got nowhere to run. Just wanted to let you know that your videos inspire me a lot and I'm trying to believe that one day I'll be sober for two years as well. ;)
Hey Noah, I'm glad you never gave in! ive been sober for nearly seven months now and your one of the main reasons why I have kept it up thanks! Jiminy crickets :D
I'm so sorry this happened to you Noah, but don't beat yourself up over this. In the end, you didn't relapse. This proves that you're a lot stronger than you think you are. Keep up with your 12-Step Program - you will succeed. Thank You so much for your videos. They're very helpful to me. Take care of yourself OK?
Jiminy Crickets! Thank you for making these videos. Really, they are so helpful. I love someone with alcohol abuse issues and I have never known how to get through to them or what they need. Your videos are making me feel more secure in the kind of support that I should be providing. Again, thank you for that.
JIMINY CRICKETS! ;) I Needed this!! it is a struggle. I feel the same. I used to drink just to have a good time, which slowly turned into drinking just to feel a sense of being "normal", which led to, in a way, trying to drink away the depression and anxiety, I guess. I see it slowly becoming a problem. went a whole week without a drink, felt I couldn't do it. its been up and down. trying to find another way!
as always thanks for sharing. I really admire your strength and honesty! stay brave.
Jeminy Crickets! Hey ur video message is upbuilding. Me too
I have been battling to stay sober and unfortunately I relapsed last weekend. I'm determined to keep trying to stay sober and run for a quick way when I'm feeling down. Thanks for ur videos.
Jiminy Crickets! I've watched so many of your videos over the last few days and I'm in awe with what you are doing, both in your life and here on youtube, and how open you are so that other people can get hope from your situation. Hope brought me to your channel to help find a reason for the depression that my partner is going through atm. You've taken me on an unexpected journey through low testosterone problems that I knew nothing of before but may have significance now. Thank you. I wish you much strength and happiness.
+MSNOSSAN Wishing you and yours strength and happiness as well. Make sure you are taking good care of yourself too and thank you for the kind words.
Jimminy Crickets. Hey Noah. I'm 49 and I washed up here on Guam 6 years ago after running and gunning across continents and countries for decades. I'm about a month sober for about the 50th time. I'm trying to become motivated to start putting one foot in front of the other cause the only other choice is death. Good job stopping and don't let urself end up like me...
jiminy crickets this was one of the best videos! I so needed to hear this right now. THANK YOU! I have been dealing with depression and food addictions and your videos have given me so much hope. Keep being real and bringing these things up 'cause I have been feeling that I have to seriously get back into my programs. I have been feeling so good that I have been slipping on those things I know I need to keep me productive and happy. Thanks...
Jiminy Crickets. love you being so real. I have 2 family members that deals with addiction and I wish all the time that they would do something to help themselves, but I realize that it's their path and their life and their choice! Your story inspires me! Thank you!
Jiminy Crickets, I’m proud of you Noah….and to share that night with use is a big help. thank you
Jiminy Crickets Noah. Your important message had me in tears...but happy tears for you in the end. WOW, WOW, WOW....For anyone IN RECOVERY....Please watch this video now. This is why it is so important to maintain whatever is working to stay in recovery. Don't let up on the important steps you need to take to be able to stay in recovery no matter how many months or years you have been sober. This is important for everyone to watch, but especially for people who are IN Recovery. On one of my late daughter's last hospital stays for her own alcohol dependency, she was in a room temporarily with a lady who had been sober for 18 years. That lady was in there for drinking. You can never ever ever let up on your conscious efforts to maintain your sobriety. Listen to Noah in this profound video that explains why I'm so emphatic about this. I know this to be true...and this video explains it so eloquently. Noah...you have written to me before. I don't know if you remember me. I shared my video about my own daughter, Brittany Hallett, that lost her battle with alcohol dependency on November 5, 2014 when I came home to find her dead in her bed from drinking at just barely 26 years of age. It can be found on TH-cam as well. Thank you for posting this extremely important video because I know some people in recovery that I worry about slipping again someday. Your selfless willingness to help others by sharing your own personal experiences is so admirable to me. I shared your video on my Facebook page called Brittany's Alcoholism Counseling and Prevention. I'm fighting hard to help people who are struggling as my daughter did. I'm scheduled to talk to the entire high school where my daughter graduated from. They will have counselors on hand for the students after that event. I will then also come back later to talk to the parents of the students as well. I also have a big event in the works where I will be the main speaker to talk to the public about my daughter's experience in the hopes of helping others. They will then have myself, police officers, and counselors stay up on the stage as a panel for the audience to send up anonymous questions for us to answer. That will have heavy media coverage with newspapers, radio, and I believe television too. I'm working hard to move mountains just as you are too. God Bless you and your efforts for your own personal recovery and for helping thousands and maybe millions of others in their fight for their lives as well. I'm so proud of you Noah. Keep fighting the fight! Jenny Hallett
Jimney Crickets!!! I totally can see why that would be a trigger for you. I have been sober 8 years. Avoiding drinking events/situations is how I stay sober. People making "fake" drinks and hanging around pretending to drink (which is basically what that was) would be a huge trigger. Possibly worse than if they were just drinking normal alcoholic drinks (hard to explain, but people in recovery may get this) I think it has to do with knowing that they are all doing this for you, it may have a reverse effect... I'm sure your friends meant well..... I'm glad your ok Noah and didn't start over from day 1 of being sober...
Hey Noah, I get so inspired from your videos! I love how open you are and how you want your viewers to get involved so much. So proud of you for not relapsing, I know how hard it is for you. I've struggled with alcohol a bit recently as I've used it to help me with my confidence and anxiety issues. I find it hard to socialise and not drink due to my social anxiety. I normally go out most weekends drinking but I didn't for two weekends and it made me feel so much better, I had so much more energy, and felt I could focus on things that were the most important in my life. I always turn to alcohol if I've had a stressful week just to help me forget and to get a release, but I know that's not the best way to deal with things. Yeah, just thought I'd share that with you, but thank you for being such an inspiration, and you're truly an amazing person. :D
Jiminy Cricket!
Keep up the good work Noah. I'm rooting for you man.
Really struck a chord with a few points in this video Noah. Particularly the whirlwind analogy. I relapsed last Friday after 2 weeks clean of opiates and alcohol when I felt super strong. Been wondering why I relapsed but you're whirlwind analogy has made me think about the entire day leading up to it, instead of the 30 mins before. Thanks no-no that just might stop me from setting the first foot down that path in future.
oh and...Jiminy Crickets :-)
JIMINY CRICKET Noah. Sorry to hear of your continued struggle but I majorly appreciate you sharing with us ! Best of luck and congrats for all the good work you do for yourself and for others.
Jimmy Cricket. Thank you for your videos. They are helping me on my journey to stay sober.
jiminy crickets!
thank you noah,
i've drank from a very young age and lately have been drinking from sun up to sun down. Iit's affecting every part of my life, but watching your videos is like a light at the end of the tunnel. they give me hope that I can kick the addiction.
thanks for being honest with us and being real about your temptations, it makes me feel more human about mine.
Keep rocking!
+veggiegrinder I know that space and its a hard one to break out of. Wishing you courage to take care of yourself as you desire. I know its not easy and I am glad you reached out.
Thanks for sharing this, Noah. I am struggling with my thinking around my food addiction. I have over ate on my food too for the last three days, even though, it was no sugar, flour or wheat. Today, I didn't over eat and your video gave me incentive to go to an online OA meeting tonight. Jiminy Crickets.
Jiminy Crickets! I admire you so much, even if you have those days where you don't think you're admirable at all, you're so brave and I'm rooting for you all the way! Addiction runs in my family, and my younger brother is currently struggling with it. I've been looking for any kind of advice or help I can possibly give him, but he's very angry and hates the world and has dreams about murdering my mother and I. He's very mentally unwell on top of being addicted to alcohol and marijuana and I don't know how to help him. But watching your videos has given me more insight into what he's going through, and it's helped me a lot.
You have a lot of people that care for you, and no matter how you struggle a lot of us will stand by you, even if we're strangers~
Thank you for being so brave and for being so open and making these videos. I'm truly glad to have come across you, and to know you, even if it's just through TH-cam.
Jiminy Crickets.
Is it strange I always wanna hug you really bad while watching any of your videos?
You are such a strong person. Physically strong and mentally strong. Everyone suffering from mental illnesses is strong but the ones trying to help other persons with the same problems are the strongest.
Alcohol tries to manipulate us all. Stay this strong. Just don't fall for it. Many people are understanding and supporting you. :)
What up! Month and a half sober, enjoy watching your channel.
It sounds like you have an amazing wife. Thank her for being amazing, and congratulations on staying sober.
I also don't drink, but I'm not an addict. I just don't do it. For me, I'm a type 1 diabetic, so alcohol is potentially deadly.
I was heavy drinker for last 13 years. Im 28 now and i quit drinking 3 months ago... After I lost all my money, my friends, my wife and everything what i had. Your videos are great support for me. Thank you.
Hard things to lose my friend. Must have been very hard and I commend you for taking steps towards turning your life around. Stay strong and may all your blessings return to you.
Jiminy crickets noah! Mad respect for you to make this video! I know I can't really relate to this particular video but my anxiety has been crazy these past few months. As my dad had a sudden heart attack out of the blue at age 66 with no medical conditions. So I've been struggling with the feeling of loneliness and then to top it up my girlfriend who I thought I was going to get married too left me to focus on her relationship with God. I miss the that I don't have that someone to talk too when I feel low. Yes I can talk to my family but sometimes that's not what you want. All my friends have moved away all over the country so I don't see them often. Your videos always help me feel that I've always got a friend to talk too without any judgement. Cheers man :) keep your head up and always be proud of who you are and how far you've come.
Jiminy Cricket! I have watched almost all your videos but have not commented until now... In fact this is my first comment on you tube. I just wanted to thank you for your videos. They are extremely helpful and inspiring. Thank you!
Taking one day at a time is important... those days will turn into years and eventually "sobriety" will become the norm for you. Things will get better as time goes by, but it's not necessarily a straight uphill path. It's worth the effort.
Jiminy crickets. Thanks Noah for sharing again. What an amazing and honest video. I am so glad to hear that you are doing everything you can to keep your sobriety and let us know about your struggle and vulnerability at a moment when you feel weaker. I have had similar experiences myself as well. And like you, when I am going through a rough spot, I think about the consequences of letting go and how that would just be ultimately destructive and counterproductive. I think that as hard as being mindful and coping can feel at times, that kind of awareness and battles are rewards in themselves that bring us closer to being stronger, being more accepting, personal growth, clarity, and peace. Keep going Noah and don't forget to look for happiness in "small" moments, we can do it!
Almost relapsed today. Had two in my hand on the way to the register, then remembered that I almost died after two last time after drinking an insane amount for 7 months straight. Remembered what happened the last 200 times and I'm on my last legs. Put them back, and having mixed emotions and feel confused about that. I'm just glad that I'll hopefully get sleep tonight. And good on you, Dude. Stay strong. ODAAT.
that a hell of a fight you just had. congratulations on your victory.......you flexed on the alcohol.
Jimney crickets- ur a legend mate , clever articulate amazing guy this vid just stopped me relapsing and made me think straight again- I’ve been a relapser for years but can’t stay stopped coz my mind changes- anyway all the best and lots of respect to you I know what your dealing with and I take my hat off to you!😎
I'm 27. The only time I'm ever sober is when I'm broke and have absolutely no money to buy booze. I'm not willing to lie or steal to get booze.
I'm a shy and introverted person and turn to alcohol to make me more comfortable around people. When I'm drinking, I feel normal. I don't feel shy or scared or worried about anything. Drinking makes me feel like a boss when I'm around people and not the shy introvert I am when I'm sober.
Thank you for your videos, Noah. I really relate to your story and your battles with alcohol and anxiety/depression.
Hey if you ever need somebody to talk to I'm here
Thank you
+David Suspended just message me on Twitter :) ( @1dourboyzzz ) and no its not a fan account I just can't think of a better @
Noah you are a great inspiration to many!
I don't have the alcohol problem but I know someone who does.
I am sending you and your wonderful wife silent prayer.
It will get better, look how far have you gotten!
By the way, your hat looks funny :-)
Stay strong bro. I can totally relate and this video hits it home for me. Sober 4 years now. Jiminy Crickets