Q&A: Funeral Cases that Stick with Me
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มี.ค. 2019
- On day 5 of our 12 Days of Birthday Giveaway, Little Miss Funeral and I asked you to comment with your funeral service related questions. Today I am answering two of those questions. I plan to answer each of the questions that was asked as time allows.
Thank you all so much for watching and sharing your questions :)
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Thank you so much.
Joel "The Grave Woman"
You are so wonderful at what you do. Only a strong woman can withhold this type of job. 👍
Thanks so much for watching Norma
I have been watching you for a couple weeks and keep meaning to tell you that I was your 500th subscriber, I was so excited!!
I’ve never commented before but wanted to tell you that it sounds like you are really fulfilling a calling. What a blessing you must be to your families!
Regarding your friend...I believe she received your message. The timing of her death combined with your urge to contact her gives me chills. If she didn’t read it earthside, she definitely feels your love from above.
Thank you for continuing to produce quality content! Love watching you and learning your perspective.
AngelMommy09 thank you so much! I so appreciate your message and your kind words. Reading what you said about my friend brought tears to my eyes. THANK YOU! May I ask if you’ve lost a child?
You were #500!!! Omg thank you for subscribing and letting me know!!!!
The Grave Woman Yes! I actually have lost two children as babies. THANK YOU for asking, giving a grieving mother an opportunity to speak of her children is a great gift! Many are too afraid to approach the subject. Today was ironically ten years since we got a terminal diagnosis at an ultrasound for our oldest daughter- For ten years now, St Patrick’s Day has been remembered as the day that my life changed forever.
Now I find comfort in helping other families who are going through similar experiences. I would love to chat sometime about different ways to memorialize babies.
I love your compassion for ALL people. You are so warm and comforting- I wish I could have worked with you when I had to plan two funerals!
AngelMommy09 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 I am so sorry for your losses. Thank you for your vulnerability and willingness to share. It is so appreciated and greatly valued by myself and I am sure so many others. I would love to chat with you as well. Please send an email to thegravewoman@gmail.com . I so look forward to personally connecting with you and maybe collaborating!
I can see why these examples would bother you. You are a strong woman.
jwbarnhartmusic thank you.
Great answers. It must be so hard not to get caught up in everything. Hugs. Thank you for the balloons you sent me to send off. I love them and it's such a great, loving idea. ❤
Bobbi thank you so much for watching! I am so excited that they reached you and that you love them. 😘
I’m so glad I found your channel! I’m in funeral service as well and I love to connect with other women, especially women of color, in the industry as well. I’ve been binge watching your older videos. Great content! Blessings!
Thanks so much for watching. I have subscribed to your channel as well
Me too honey I started working as a mortician in June 2020 and it's still haunting me
I feel the same about car accident... Am scare to die in a car accident way.. Like it's so normal now in days...
Hi Yami. I am speaking protection and safe travels over us all!
yami pon I am the same way. Especially if I have to drive a long distance. So I always try to have a prayer in my heart that I will be safe, as well as those around me.
When I viewed my family members I have felt seen and heard spirits. One spirit actually talked to me and played with me when I was little
WOW! I would like to know more about this Latoya.
LaToya share more if you feel like you can
Thank you for your insightful answers. Self care in this industry is super important and sometimes it is necessary to take the time. What you do to help people is truly a blessing.
Thank you so much for watching Sayre! I appreciate your words. 🥰
My heart went out for the guy who when to the viewing of his brother only to find out in the next room was his best friend's funeral. Coming back to this video, a few days later, to actually write these few words that have been in my mind wanting to say how sorry I feel for the guy, as I write I have tears in my eyes. I hope the emptiness in his heart doesn't feel as big now that time as gone by.
Thanks so much for watching and sharing your heart felt words ppg.
@@TheGraveWoman ..I would really love to know if when you receive a body in a very poor state ie badly burned/ partial remains/skeletal etc, do you still apply makeup, put clothes on it despite the fact that the loved ones will not be able to view it?
Bless your beautiful heart. You have such a kind spirit. Of course it must be overwhelming to see so many healthy young African American men come through your doors for no good reason. It must be heart wrenching to work on the young and babies, in general; but to see so many preventable deaths - that’s got to be the worst. The silver lining is that YOU had so much love and such an amazing support system growing up. So many don’t have that. I admire you so much for your strength and the loving care and attention you give to your deceased. ❤️
Thank you so much
My autistic son (14 years old, wants to be a funeral director) and I watch your videos. We are in Arkansas and while we know it will never happen, we would love to meet you. We have seen every one of your videos. Some of them twice.
Omg I would love to meet him/you! Please email me at thegravewoman@gmail.com and let’s set up a zoom!
Whether she saw it or not, she got the message. God bless you.
Thanks for watching
I love listening to you.
I especially like the story about the woman on the motorcycle.
Thank you so very much. It was a surreal experience that still blows my mind today.
When I was 12 my granny died and I went up to the casket alone at one point and she let out a breathe a death rattle I ran and told my mo granny is lieing and was told about the death breathe. Then I was in a pic hospital and she came in a full apparition and I ran to the bathroom and was made to go back to my bed were she appeared again and told me I just wanted to tell you I love you. She then floated away. I've had many dreams of past love ones that gave me more closer or prof there at peace. Must be a god blessing that I have this stuff happen to me.
Thanks for watching
I agree with the car accident phobia. I won't even drive at night now.
Thanks so much for watching
You have a beautiful heart, and a gorgeous smile!! Bless you for what you do❤️
Thank you so much!
I have subscribed andlove all ofyou videos...your smile makes me smile!!! You cares very Much and it showes grately!!!
Thank you so much for subscribing and for your amazing compliment.
I admire you for being able to do this work. Bc of you, families can grieve and not have to worry and trust that our loved ones are well taken care of. I wouldn't have the courage or emotional strength to do what you guys do. I would be a complete mess within the first couple of cases. So THANK YOU! and know that you are appreciated. ❤
Thank you so much Ashley. I appreciate your words. Please be sure to subscribe, like this video and share this and any other content from the channel with anyone you think will find it useful or helpful. I appreciate you and thank you in advance.
You’re so inspiring what you do thank you!
Thanks for watching!
Bless you sweetheart because everyone can not do this job. I sat thru an autopsy and could not leave the room. I was glad I made it thru or else I would have failed so again kudos to you beautiful.
Doria, that is actually something that I would love to experience. Praying that I will have an opportunity sooner than later. Please be sure to subscribe, like and share this and any other videos from the channel that you find helpful, informative, and insightful. Thanks in advance, I appreciate your support.
You are so sympathetic.I love your beautiful personality.
You are so kind
Many years ago the local funeral director had picked up a body from a hospital going back to the funeral home when he got into a horrible accident. The Funeral
director passed away and the dead body he had in the back flew out onto the highway. That has stuck with me.
Kathy Ortego oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about that and pray for both of the families involved. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have had this phobia me whole life but it's strongly effected me I have been driving on the interstate more and more but also since have about had a few accidents but it hasn't stopped me. A new subbie love your videos my grandmother who raised me worked doing hair in the funeral homes she would take me with her so IAM not afraid of being around it she would talk to them like they were alive lol it was cute and helped me be comfortable my grandmother is a loving soul as you are and I consider myself. I have learned a lot from her, I also do evps and have a gift to see some spirits and I communicate with them as a hobby I think if she had not have jumped in and raised me I would not be alive now I was suicidal in my younger days and spent three weeks in intensive care and they had brought me back to life it wasn't my choice it was the higher power God that kept me here and my grandmother taught me that although when I woke up I wasn't happy about first because I was still alive! Let's just say I appreciate life today and love living💞Bless 🙏 you and your message.
Hi there. Your grandmother sounds like a WONDERFUL soul! Thanks so much for sharing and for your transparency and vulnerability. I am so glad that you are here and that your beloved Grandmother stepped in when she did. God bless you and please keep discovering your gifts and how you can use them to heal others who are now where you were. Thanks for watching
i love your videos very much thank you for posting these, i want to be a mortician and you help me learn and understand what i will be doing. i lost my mom at a young age and i always wondered a lot of things about death
Hi Alexxa. Thanks so much for watching
God Bless. I pray our community will get better
Thank you so much for watching
She got the message, you were guided to connect with her and have that special loving memory.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY, IN JESUS HOLY NAME. AMEN!
Thanks for watching
I guarantee she got your message ♥️
Thanks Retha
Shes not gone anywhere Luv... Only her physical body isn't here any longer. She sees you, hears you, & even when she isnt around, believe && trust that a Spirit Guide has passed any && every mesg from you, on to her..... She ABSOLUTELY got your mesg🥀📿🙏🏽
@@TheGraveWoman 😇
Have you ever had a paranormal encounter while embalming a body,or is it true,that it's an unspoken rule,in the funeral industry?
HI Chris. I am going to make a video about this. I get asked this almost every day so its time to do a vid. Stay tuned.
I’d love to know too!!!
The car thing gets me everytime
Thanks so much for watching and sharing
She got that message sweetheart ❤🙏🏾
Thank you
I have fears similar to that too, that stick with me. It really bothers me when someone birthdate is also their death date. The majority of the time this is not a baby. I lost 11 relatives in 1 year. All, from my mom side of the family. So, I’ve sat on the front row at the funeral more times than I like to admit. What makes it hard is the fact in a lot of those cases, there were no closure before death.
I am so sorry for your losses Damita. Thanks for watching and sharing
That was my life in 2019, I lost my best friend in a hit and run and my grandfather passed away the next day and there were 12 deaths after the two of them. It was horrific and very traumatic to go through. Praying for you! So devastating
@@EclecticElegance13 I'll pray for you as well. Yes, that was a hard time for me. It almost didn't seem real. Everytime you get a call someone has passed away. Thanks for sharing your story. 💖
God bless you.
God Bless you too! Thank you and thank you so much for watching and sharing your kind words. Please be sure to subscribe and share this and any videos from the channel with those you think can use them
Awesome answers. You mentioned difficult families, do you get those a lot or is it a rare occasion?
It honestly depends on the family dynamic and circumstances surrounding the death. Its common.
As a future funeral director I am the most hurt by the deaths from automobile accidents and suicide as well. Accidents are the worst in my opinion because one minute you're alive and some shenanigan occurs from your car or from another driver and your life gets swiped from you before your very eyes. I've only known about 2 deaths close to me from a car accident
Thanks so much for watching. Those cases are so tragic to me. We feel the same way.
You are such a strong, brave woman. I can see how it would be very difficult for you to work on those young African American men. It bothers me to hear about the violence. I wish that we could find a way to bring people together.
I really love the videos. You are knowledgeable and wise.
Thank you so much for watching and understanding
Im not sure if I fear dying or surving in a fatal car accident. I literally have anxiety, my palms get sweaty when I travel long distances...
Hi Tibu. Thanks so much for watching. Please be sure to subscribe if you haven't already. like this video and share this and any other content from the channel with anyone you think will find it useful or helpful. I appreciate you and thank you in advance.
You, dear Lady, sound as if you're an empath. As well a a good and capable mortitian.😘💖🙏
Thank you so much Kitty
How does a person go about planning their own funeral ? A person alone in the world, like me, May need to do this. Thank you.
Video coming soon
I have a fear of myself or a family member dying in a car accident.
Thanks so much for watching and sharing
She got the message....
Thank you. Please be sure to subscribe if you haven't already. like this video and share this and any other content from the channel with anyone you think will find it useful or helpful. I appreciate you and thank you in advance.
I’m new to your channel and must say I love your passion for mortuary science and your professionalism. This particular video resonates with me bc I had a friend who passed away due to a car accident as well. She and I went to school together for elementary to HS. We lost touch when I went off to college but linked up through MySpace (yep, I know, sounds like old technology) but, I sent her a message saying how we should get together soon and maybe catch up during lunch bc she had recently moved closer to where I lived. Well, unfortunately she was killed in an accident maybe a week or so later. I think about her all the time and often wonder if she suffered in the crash. She was simply going to work that morning.
It’s a fear of mine as well, car accidents; esp if I hear the person was found in an unnatural position in the car. Have you seen anything like that?
Btw, my name is Nina Simone - love to hear when someone else has “Simone” in their name.
Hi Nia. Believe it or not you share a name with my cousin. The ENTIRE NAME. I am so sorry about the loss of your friend. Car accidents are truly horrible and completely unexpected. I think that's the thing that scares me the most.
I truly have come to believe that in traumatic situations like that, God himself "takes" the person in the seconds before impact so that they experience no fear, no pain and no harm. I would hate to think that the deceased remember or recall in any way the events leading up to what we perceive to be such a horrible death.
I have unfortunately seen the "unnatural" state of the deceased post accident.
Thanks so much for sharing and for watching
The Grave Woman thanks so much for your response!
Do funeral homes remove pacemakers even though they are going to be buried and not cremated? A friend of mine has a pacemaker and was told they are removed by the funeral home and returned to the company that made them I was just wondering thanks in advance for your reply.
They definitely have to remove them for cremation I know that . It can actually combust if it were missed during cremation. My grandpa had one and it was removed after death. Would love to know where they go though good question.
Hi Beth. We normally do not remove them for cremation.
You are adorable and you do have beautiful skin.
Thank you so much
Grave woman I have a question for you I worked at one of the biggest mortuaries in Los Angeles Harrison and Ross and they had a thing called professional service this consists of pick up an embalming use of the chapel and everything associated with the funeral home other than a casket and additional limousines my question is do you guys have that where you are thank you
Hi Darnell. Yes we have professional services. What's included varies slightly but we have them. Thanks for watching and for your awesome question. Do you still work in the industry?
To the grave woman from mr. Darnell Ray Webb former worker of one of the largest black mortuaries in Los Angeles harrison-ross no great woman I'm retired now been retired for five years thank you love your program
Hello grave woman i have a good question. If someone is elmbalmed alive by accidentally can you embalm them again or what do you do with the decease
Hi Bishop. Thanks for the question. The probability of someone being embalmed alive is very very very unlikely. I really don't know how a situation like this would be handled. I'll have to do some research. Thanks for asking and for watching.
I understand where you are coming from. I worked as a nurse in a trauma center in a large urban city. It definitely was hard to see so many young black men lost to gun violence
I am a white woman and live in St. Louis. All the deaths of young black men really make me so sad.
Thank your for sharing your thoughts and feelings Barbara! 💓💓💓🙏🏾
This is such a beautiful message. I genuinely wish that we could all just love each other.
Thanks so much for watching Glynis. I appreciate your support and am sending you so much Love!
YOU are beautiful!
Oh thank you! So are you Renee
Do you find it extremely hard to work when the body is that of a baby or a child?
Honestly, no. It is very sad but I do not find it difficult to work in those circumstances. Thanks so much for watching
Hi Joelle.
Here's a question. Are you from a family that has medical backgrounds?
Thank you in advance❤
Hi Suzy. I am not but I have worked in the medical field as well for numerous years. Thanks for your question and for watching
Why do funeral transportation drivers make you leave the room and close the door when they arrive to get the body? Is it because they are handling them kinda rough? How often do you think a deceased person makes sounds? Like air trapped? Is it true that all deceased have diapers on inside the casket to contain any fluids? I saw some documentary on how fluids can cause a deceased male to have an erection and women can release fluids as well? What if a deceased is disfigured really badly do you let the family see the deceased or is it a closed casket funeral? Would embalming still be required? I know I wouldn’t want to pay for a funeral without seeing them.
Hi there. I will answer this in video form. Please stay tuned
When working with the deceased,do you as a funeral director always know the cause of death?.thankyou for being open and sharing your emotions involving different cases ,it shows that you have compassion for the people that you serve.
Nova264 thank you so much. To be honest, no we don’t. That is why it’s so important that we take universal safety precautions with each individual case and give our work all of our attention. It can be emotional for the families as well when a cause of death is not known. It’s heart breaking at times to not be able to answer difficult questions for the families. That is where the work of amazing medical examiners and autopsy techs come in.
Have you ever received a body with organs missing, such as liver, kidneys?
Hi Geraldine, I do not fully understand your question. Unless an autopsy was performed there would be no way of knowing.
The Grave Woman It sounds like she’s asking about organ harvesting
Girl i m in medical ur soooo right in my 12 years iv had many people I can't Forget iv lost so many people in my job but being a nurse I can't show emotion in view of their family..... Iv lost so many in my personal life as well I had a childhood friend that was killed by a drunk driver and had 2 misscarages and my ex husband killed my daughter and son one year apart due to demestic violence I was 7mo 3w pregnant and my ex husband tried to drownd me and we both died together I came back but my baby was stillborn my son I was 8mo 2w pregnant and my ex husband kicked me down a flight of stairs my son lived 12 minutes died in my arms iv lost 4 grandparents, my dad, 2 aunts and 2 cousins one cousin I was going to work well there's a parking lot up the street from my house I seen his car so I stopped to see my cousin was shot in the head from behind with a shotgun it seems death finds me but I'm now in theirapy and doing better after 6 suicide attempts but someone always found me so now I use my story to help others that are in demestic violence marriage and relationships I found 2 of my friends who were killed by demestic violence this world is a awful place I learned that young all this started I was 12 yrs old I'm now 35 years old..... Hugs to u stay strong...
Jenna, God bless you on your journey. I can not imagine the amount of pain and heartache that these experiences have brought you. I am so sorry for EACH AND EVERY one of your losses.
@@TheGraveWoman thank u so much......... I feel the more people I tell my story to maby it will help someone else that's were iv been........
Oh my goodness. Your likes was at 666. So I had to hit the like button no matter what, to change that horrible number.
Thanks so much for watching
Sorry genuine question, in your experience the police actually kill black men in your community as police brutality or self defense? Innocent black men are murdered by police?
Great question and thanks so much for watching. I personally feel as if it is murder in some cases and self defense (as with other races) in others. There have been blatant and unquestionable murders committed.
Please be sure to visit my website www.thegravewoman.com for more great info, content and courses.
There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews: The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him. Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born? Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
John 3:1-5
Thanks for watching
You look pretty today
Thank so much for watching Wendy.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Thank you