I'm 20, and for a while, I thought I just had social anxiety and maybe some ADHD. But now that my eyes have been opened to what Aspergers is and how it affects the mind, it's become pretty obvious to me that I have been mildly autistic this entire time. The weirdest part is going through all my memories, with a completely different perspective, and realizing how obvious it was my whole life.
This is me as well, though I'm 29 and have been looking into the matter for the last 4 years. I hate to have to rely on self diagnosis but I'm not nor will I be financially able to seek an official diagnosis for the foreseeable future.
I'm having a hard time with this. trying to remember any of my childhood has been difficult to understand my behavior I can't remember anything due to trauma and possibly disassociating constantly
I was diagnosed about three years ago at the age of 69. I was originally misdiagnosed with, of all things, chronic undifferentiated schizophrenia in 1974. I lost the prime of my life to having this follow me all those years, not to mention the worry that, if it were schizophrenia, it could come back and turn me into little more than a burden. I was in the process of reading a book called, "Neurotribes" while doing some of my own writing about this incident; the chapter on Asperger's sounded suspiciously familiar. I first consulted a psychologist (I will never trust another psychiatrist again as long as I live), who referred me to a neuropsychologist for the testing, which took three weeks. My medical insurance covered most of the cost and I had my diagnosis by the end of the month. The neuropsychologist advised me to "accept" my diagnosis; I informed her that I planned to revel in it, and I do. The degree of peace I now feel goes almost beyond description. The diagnosis is not an excuse; it is an explanation. It's my brain, and I'm in charge of a good deal of it. If I start to ruminate, for example, I simply now tell myself to knock that off. I no longer feel any compulsion to beat myself up for not fitting in, and if I don't feel like socializing, then I just don't. I now understand why I see the world the way I do and I perceive much of it, like the synesthesia, as a gift. If somebody else doesn't like it, that's his headache. Now I just have to make up for lost time with the time I have left.
Your post is not only enlightening, but flawlessly generated as well. Best of luck in your quest. I shall be thinking deeply about what you've written.
Miriam Bucholtz OMG! You hit the nail on the head about being misdiagnosed. Although I was never diagnosed with any mental disorders as you were, I’ve always seen myself as different. The thing that I realized is that I did not have interpersonal communication skills and that everything I do was from a learned behavior or I was mimicking what I saw. I would experiment and it is how I know how to act, so people would say to me you seem normal to me, which in fact, I am not like most people. Just like you, I would be diagnosed at a late age, because I am 61 years old. And as you said, the thought of being on the spectrum gave me an explanation of my past behaviors and will most definitely clarify my future going forward. Also; you stated that it’s not an excuse but an explanation, which gives me peace of mind already even though I have not been formally diagnosed. I’m so excited to hear someone else say the very things that I’ve experienced and in the way I would have phrased it. Thank you so much for your post and I’m sure it was not by chance that I came upon it. I like you realize that I wasted so many years of my life trying to fit in or be like other people, but now I have accepted who I am and I don’t care what others think. There is another aspect that makes it much more difficult for me to get an accurate diagnosis and that is that I am a female. From what I’ve read, it is thought that males dominate or make up the statistics for autism/Asperger’s. I hope that you are doing well and thriving!
After watching this video and several others on the same topic, I decided , at 70+ years of age, to not seek an official diagnosis due to lack of funds and advanced age. Everything I have learned here and on other channels describes me to a T. I am glad I have found out 2 things: why I am "different" and some people who are like me. Thank you for your videos.
I will definitely be seeking an official diagnosis because I was diagnosed with borderline, PTSD, and anxiety, but I knew all along there was more going inside of me. I've always felt like an actress and was observing people and mimicking them. And it was very tiring. It explains so much about how I see/feel the world around me and why 'normal' life is so difficult (working, having friends, dating, intimacy, traveling, having hobbies etc) Instead of being filled with all kinds of meds, I might finally be referred to the right kind of therapy and make something of my life, instead of living like a zombie.
@amar sai Don't apologise for bad English when it's actually good. The only advise I would give you is to use more sentences instead of grouping them all together in one with only commas to separate them. Try to put a dot after each segment if it makes sense, to create lots of short sentences that stand for themselves. I had this problem, with super long and hard to read sentences, earlier in my life aswell. But simply trying to make them as short as possible, in a practical manner, really helped.
My parents always knew that I was on the spectrum but they didn't want me to be separated into a special needs school, because then it goes from "Be all you can be!" in mainstream education to "OK, this kid is not gonna have a great life, let's be honest. Time for damage control." in the special needs system. And to be honest, I'm glad that they didn't get me diagnosed as a child because I went further than I thought by not knowing. If I had been told at a young age that there was "something wrong with me", I would never have achieved what I have.
Well, I agree with the "LD" (Learning Disabilities) classroom bit. All those classrooms did was put me in with a bunch of "problem kids" who had managed to stay out of jail and avoid expulsion and they made the lessons easier so that I and the rest of the classroom could pass through the school system more easily, which I think only served to teach me bad avoidant life habits, because I was never really challenged or allowed to fail in those classrooms. (I was in school back in the 90's by the way) I would definitely say that I've had a difficult time after leaving the school system though, I was left, I guess, very unprepared for the world ahead of me and still struggle with things.
Daring Greatly84 It's been about 2 years since an official diagnosis. There have been some real bad days when I knew for sure that I was "different" than the kids I grew up with. I wish I was diagnosed when I was younger, so I could have had more therapy about social skills and understanding sarcasm. I've lost a lot of friends and I know it's because of the Autsim, but I still don't know exactly what I did wrong. Almost all of the medicines for depression and OCD have never worked for me. But, I would say to get a diagnosis, it will help getting services that you might not have had before. Hope this helped. Any other questions you have I'll try and answer. I'm a lot better at communicating by writing since I can look it over and think about my answers than in person in case someone asks something I'm not ready for. I definitely don't have as many meltdowns as I did when I was a teenager because I know what I was feeling was because of Autsim.
I had no idea what autism was when diagnosed aged 31. I needed a diagnosis to claim welfare. The downside is that the diagnosis was used by social workers & my own mother to try to take away my parental rights/custody of my child. My diagnosis was exploited by professionals who had never even met me. My autism symptoms were even portrayed as schizoid personality disorder, by a very desperate psychiatrist. Although they did not win, they did a lot of unjust slandering of my character. They did not get away with this before. In fact a previous attempt before my diagnosis ended up with them having to open a 5 year investigation. Where they removed data, apologized & awarded me compensation. Just having the diagnosis changed everything. It was like a green card for them to fabricate whatever they wanted on a mass scale. And it resulted in any future complaint I made automatically being assumed my fault. All complaint processes I requested were prevented from being started.
Carol Jenkins WOW that's absolutely terrible! I'm glad they didn't win. I'd rip off someone's head if that happened to me. I hope they didn't successfully take your children.
I have experienced all of this too. There are certain nasty people who will gaslight you in a relationship and continue that slandering after the relationship is over. My ex wife claimed, and still claims I am ‘grooming my daughters’. You can’t defend yourself against filthy slander like that. If you don’t say anything you are seen as passively endorsing the claims. If you do, people assume you are defending yourself against something. That woman has no concern about the damage she has done to either me or the children. It’s just restrained violence. If she finds out I have asd, I might lose the children for good.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for plainly mentioning the lack of professional knowledge when diagnosing ADULT FEMALES. 🙏🏽 That alone gives me some significant satisfaction within myself that I've not had but within the community. I've not sought a diagnosis for ASD because of that, because I could imagine the emotional harm of being set back inside myself even more, being alone in this world of my mind further and the second guessing that automatically goes along with it. It can be frighteningly lonely and emotionally depleting and has been to a good degree having even someone closest to me not "see it", which to me meant, I was merely seen as eccentric, overly passionate, lazy and, of course, "weird". It's as though ppl are waiting for a certain performance they've concocted in their non professional minds that I'm not displaying for them and therefore I just added hypochonfria and possibly attention seeking or abelism to that list. If a professional were to deny the diagnosis, that would give the whole world of judgments in my mind all the merit and that would shake me to my core. However, I will still seek one. Meticulously, slew of signed diagnoses in hand (that literally create the full umbrella for a decently typical female adult autistic mind) searching for a professional on the pulse of adult female autism. Feeling this to my core with very straight forward information I cannot see anything less than a solid diagnosis. 🤞🏽*Touch wood*
Thank you, this was very helpful! You laid things out clearly and logically. I'm 57 and I've been "weird" all my life, now I'm the "quirky gramma" everyone loves, but life is exhausting. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, 2 years ago my granddaughter, who is just like me, was taken in for testing and was diagnosed with Aspergers. That was when a lightbulb went off and I started looking into the possibility I was misdiagnosed. Your video has given me the confidence to get an official diagnosis, it will not only help me but my granddaughter as well. Thank you again.
More and more medical scientists are beginning to believe that there are two different type brains; the neuro typical, and the neuro divergent. I live the latter, because it doesn't sound negative. In the past they thought these "conditions" were a mental illness, or a disability, now some experts believe it's just different, like an automatic transmission car, and the manual transmission car. There's no good nor bad, it's just is. Before the industrialized era, it wasn't that big of a deal people with ADHD, or autism - the people just worked and did their thing. Since it ran in the family, like the color of our skin or eyes, we just followed the footsteps of our parents; watch makers, cobblers, musicians, bakers, etc., and more and more, they're suspecting that many GENUISES of the past had neuro divergent brains, and still today, people like Einstein, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Agatha Christy, etc. Some scientists are even playing with the idea that the neuro divergent brain is the next step in humanity - the more advanced brain!!! Having another type of brain is NOT a disability, NEITHE a mental illness, just like having a different color skin, race or culture. Wer come in all shape or sizes, we can be good or bad people, we can be very smart - like genius, and some of us can be mentally challenged. Some of us can actually have a mental illness or disorder, just like a neuro typical person, and some of can be absolutelly normal people, with the traits that come with being a neuro divergent person. Some of us display more of these traits, ideas don't, and many of us, especially women like us, have learned to fit in - we who do in essence are SUPER exhausted daily, for acting all day, learning to anticipate other peoples needs and desires society expects from neuro typical people, just to fit in. Imagine having to user crutches to walk, and you need to carry four groceries bags home every other day - it does not work well, well that's a highly functioning neuro divergent person. We work harder, to look "normal" it's not that our situation is any less challenging. With that said, I'm highly functioning, but although I looked "normal" to most, the people closest to me found me odd once in a while; eccentric, or black and white, and why do I care so much things weren't this way or that, it wer all made fun of my high sense of smell, or my need for being surrounded by ONLY beautiful and pleasant things. I eas highly intelligent in school, so much so, after a test in lower school, I www.ad offered to skip 6 grades! However my behavior was HORRENDOUS - I was the class clown! If you asked ANYONE who knows me today if they knew I eas the class clown, they would say no way!!! In any case, call it neuro divergent, and just like any mixed race person may have blue, green, brown or black eyes, or straight, wavy or very curly hair, or is tallbor short, slim or heavy, attractive or not, intelligent or not,vhaveca mental illnesses not, etc, we are that way too. There are two types of brain in humanity, and neither one is the better one, they're just different 😊
I'm 52 and self-diagnosed since about 2 years ago when I stumbled upon an article which led to further reading. Since then my daughter has been diagnosed and we're pretty sure that I'm right. The only thing holding me back is money. I'd quite like the validation of a diagnosis just because I'm pretty high functioning but life has been a long hard slog and it's a massive relief to realise that I'm actually awesome and gifted rather than a struggling failure, and none of it was my fault 😁. Be a nice way to spend my last decades, fully assuming my batty, selfish ways and being a superhuman mad old cat woman.
I'm also a mad old cat woman (twenty years older than you, in fact) who was diagnosed three years ago (see my comment above). I completely agree with you about how we're awesome and gifted. It's a rotten shame that the neurotypicals tend to be so easily frightened; there is a lot we could teach them if they'd take the time to listen. For the first time in my life, I no longer hate myself.
"Struggling failure..." I feel this in my core. 45 and recently self diagnosed. So many questions about myself have been answered, it's crazy. If only I could afford an official diagnosis.
Do you think it is genetic? I have been relating to many of the traits, wondering how to get a diagnosis, and if it would be used against me. And I don't think I can take more abuse. But in watching this video, i noticed the way he was moving his shoulders. And my mind flashed to my own mother. She always had this sort of tick with her shoulders, moving them in a similar way. She also would twirl her hair with her fingers when she wasn't smoking. She seemed sort of aloof as I was growing up. My father would notice when something was bothering me. The curious thing is, she was a psychologist herself. If there is a hereditary component to this, it would make it easier to forgive her for not having the kind of relationship I would have preferred. Lost her 2 years ago and my dad before that, so I can't ask him. It would make sense, her studying psychology though, if she felt different. Wow, this could be huge
What if you get a diagnosis that you are NOT on the spectrum, even when you have some of the Aspie traits? That would be my worst fear, especially paying all the money and then being left with no explanation for my deficits.
I think this must be a common traumatic thought response for women on the spectrum. I know that I have those thoughts. Fear of the unknown response of others, too many variables regarding the person doing the assessment (their biases, lack of knowledge, hidden bureaucracy and numbers, etc.). Mix that in with a lifetime of being told that you are experiencing or showing your emotions "the wrong way", you get anxious adult women who have been taught to deny their own experience. I wish the entire thing wasn't such a mess.
Ale Jay This speaks to me on so many levels. I am a 24 year old women and have never been comfortable identifying as autistic because when I’ve brought it up in the past my experiences have been denied or dismissed as being “overly sensitive” or “over reactive”. I’ve been gaslighted so many times I just believe the people telling me I’m wrong about my own personal experiences.
That’s what happened to me for 5 years. My mom tried getting me tested multiple times for 5 years (from 3yrs old to 8yrs old). I didn’t know that until recently and it’s taken a toll on me. I feel like I’m faking or it’s not valid because the doctor didn’t say so but that was 13-16 years ago. I feel like I am on the spectrum but since doctors told my mom that I wasn’t but I had a ton of traits she doesn’t think so. She thinks it’s just quirks
My friend I can't tell you how large of a impact you have on my life. I only realized I was on the spectrum a couple years ago, I will be 38. it's a true pleasure to hear that I am not alone and that I finally know what's wrong with me. You can't always trust medical professionals. I really just wanted to thank you. Thanks man, your a life saver.
I was just formally diagnosed 4 hours ago. I will say that I am very relieved. There is something about it being official. I have no obligation to tell anyone, not my employer, not my family, not my friends. I do regret that I am 28 years old and just getting this diagnosis, because I feel like I could have used some help earlier in life.
I am self diagnosed as an Aspie at age 67. I didn't consider that I might be on the spectrum until my adult daughter questioned if she might be. I read a lot about the characteristics of people on the spectrum and started to see myself over the years and also my daughter's behaviors as Aspie. My daughter is a brilliant 45 yr old that does many things for enjoyment that a 15 yr old would do ....like collect action figures and go to the movies frequently. She has a good job and functions independently on her own. Until she was 12 yrs of age, she had what I called temper tantrums but now I see that these episodes were most likely Aspie meltdowns. I am glad to have been enlightened...glad to have this awakening as to why my daughter and I have certain behaviors. Now that I am enlightened, I see people who are most likely Aspie everywhere and I have more compassion for their behaviors.
Thank you for this video. I have self diagnosed at age 53. As a child, I was sent to speech therapists with no answers. I struggled throughout my life, socially. Unexplained confusion and anxiety. I was actually researching ADHD, as my husband was diagnosed with that years earlier. As I explored related disorders, I was noticing aspergers traits and relating to a tee. My husband recognized it instantly. Explains so much of my limitations, characteristics and experience. I am not interested in official diagnosis. I am retired now and have managed to make it this far. Self awareness and self improvement or growth are essential in life no matter what we face. I do not like labels so much, as I think sometimes one can be encumbered by it and use it for an excuse instead of a tool to grow and succeed. Also, I do not care for the negative stigma that ignorant people attach to you. Thanks again for your time in helping others.
I'm 51 & relating to much of this, including the childhood speech therapist. I am in the process of being assessed for diagnosis. Tbh starting to open up to resources has already been life changing. I feel like I'm being set free by insight & understanding. It's also an emotional time for me ~ seeing my life through a new lense. It's a relief to find other people going through similar experiences and sharing them them. 🙏 Thank you for sharing yours
YAY for the German health system. I'm in the middle of diagnostics, and I don't have to pay a single penny for it. Not for psychotherapy either. On the down side, we do pay a lot of taxes, but that's OK with me, all things considered. I'm 34, female and self-diagnosed Aspie. I'm looking for closure (I was an outsider during my school years) and for coping mechanisms / help with comorbidities (depression, mental exhaustion, severe problems with sleeping). Also, YES to the acceptance aspect. Nobody believes me, except those who know me VERY VERY well.
just one little question: where do you go when you want to get a diagnosis? So I am living in Germany, too. But I have absolutely no idea who to turn to when it comes to a topic like: Am I autistic? I can't talk to my parents about it and I am feeling very uncomfortable talking to my doctor about this. But I've always felt different and since I was little I was the one being bullied by others for strange behavior and I also had a lot of meltdowns and problems getting and keeping friends. Do I have to make an appointment with a therapist? A doctor? I just don't know where to turn to and it's really frustrating because with me being 22 years old, I just really wanna know what's "wrong" with me and if there is a cause for my problems with social interaction and the impact it has on my mental health. I took the online test for self-diagnosing on a german autism website and I always score above 36, which is, when it comes to my friends, not that unexpected. Would be interesting to know for me, where and who you've been gone to get a diagnosis. Thanks a lot :)
In Germnay one has however to wait for long times to get an appointment. I first found out for a psychologist who told me she has a waitnig list of two years!! Fortunately I found another where I have to wait only three months . But it took quite a while until I found that. And this only for a preliminary first talk. The real thing will probably begin in five months.
@@tttriple over half of your wage? Not sure what you heard about German health insurance - but for the standard health insurance (the one everyone is in automatically) it's 14-16% of (taxable) income - of which half is paid by the employer and half by the employee. So it's ~7-8% of your income. Private helath insurance is a different story - that can, indeed, get very, very expensive - but at times it has its perks. - I have no idea how expensive mental health related things are in Germany but it doesn't matter; it's covered and you don't have to worry if you can afford to get the help you need - you just get it. No need to take out a loan, no need to worry about going bankrupt, no need to set up a go fund me or something of the sort. Getting the help you need - big or small - when you need it and being able to carry on with your life as usual once you recovered is something I find pretty damn awesome.
This video, along with your previous 3-part story about your path to discovering you're on the spectrum, has helped me tremendously. I have been told multiple times by former classmates/boarding schoolmates and by close friends that I seem to be on the spectrum. Since my current therapist suggested it gently to me and told me it's not so bad to have it and would lead to me knowing better about certain social situations and issues I'm struggling with. Before that, my parents already sent me to get tested way back in my teenage years. Since I knew someone more affected on the spectrum, I looked it up and was aware of the diagnosis criteria and (sadly) successfully masked it to such a degree, they had to give me a clean slate and let me go. Back then, I absolutely didn't want to be on the spectrum. I thought it was just for "nutters" and I saw how the one boy in school was bullied because he spoke not so much. I could relate to him so much tho, I was one of the few who was friends with him, aka talked with him about our special interests, gaming. Now I'm much older, I'm 30 now and I'm thinking... hmm, it'd be such a relief, you know? Knowing you're not wrong, it's just a different wiring of the brain, just like with the ADHD I've already got. This video reminded me of taking some steps beforehand, though, because of the con-list you showed. I need to get insurance for inability-to-work, since in Germany, you need to give all your previous diagnoses. I'm deaf and already got severe ADHD. Along with it, a mild form of depression was triggered (by of ADHD, its a typical comorbidity) but I'm stable enough to hold down a job and lead a satisfying life, since that's already being treated :) so it's already a big hurdle for me to get that specific insurance. But I really want and need it, because I saw it firsthand in my family what happens if you don't care enough about your future and all eventualities. So that's one of my priorities. After all this I will seek out an appointment for the diagnosis process. It's covered by our mandatory health insurance, so I'm not really worried about the costs. It's more about the length of the process it will take. Usually, the clinics and therapists have a waiting list ranging from 8 months up to two years until the first appointment. The testing itself is split in 3 parts, at my first one I "managed" to get out after the first round. All in all, the testing itself can last up to a year, depending on the availability of yourself and the health providers. So I'm preparing for a looooong wait... but it could help me a lot in the long shot since I might get more accommodations at my workplace tailored to the autism and more understanding of the higher-ups of my communication struggles. I already struggle with them a lot, but the autism and the ADHD make it even more complicated. Still, I want to be a part of society and continue to contribute to it 😊 I'm rambling again, so I'll stop here. Thank you so much for reading this. Have a good day or a good night, wherever you are, and stay healthy and happy! 😊
I had been dealing with depression and anxiety since my late teens (I am now 54), and I had been seeing my psychologist for 10 years on and off. For the last few years she had been saying she thought I could be ADHD, then a couple of years ago my daughter was officially diagnosed ASD (not Aspie) and when doing research I found a lot that ticked boxes for me. I spoke to my psych who did some tests and set me up with a psychiatrist who gave me a proper diagnosis for ASD - Aspergers and then earlier this year did the testing for ADHD which also came up positive. Having the diagnosis means I can talk to people who *get* me, who know what it is like to think this way, do these things, have these fears and know that I am not weird, just different and that there are others like me. It has also helped me with dealing with DHHS as they used to get aggro because I didn't pick up on non-verbal cues when being given "advice" - ffs just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it... I am not a bloody mind reader!
I found what was said at 5:15 very interesting and revealing about something I have been well aware of for decades. Shop around long enough and some psycho babbling fraud will eventually give you the diagnosis you want to hear. This is why there is misdiagnosis, because any psychiatric diagnosis depends on what the patient tells the doctor or psychologist. There is no blood test or scan to confirm a mental illness is present. Modern psychiatry is not based on sound reasoning or science and neither is the supposed treatment which often amounts to a chemical lobotomy in the worst and most tragic cases.
@@pauldarlington5589 I thought I heard somewhere that a DNA test can reveal potential abnormalities like that but I think those can be rather expensive.. or I'm misremembering.
Self diagnosed and not seeking "official" diagnosis. My reason being that I don't see any tangible benefit for my current needs. My sister suggested I might be autistic and I did loads of research. I went through a denial phase where I realized my unfortunate capacity for ableist discrimination. For what I was going through at the time, autism seems like the only reasonable explanation and I had to learn to let go of my judgemental nature and understand what autism really is. For a while, I felt I needed a proper diagnosis because I wanted to be able to tell everyone without feeling like a liar. Now I know that it doesn't line up with my true values. I don't trust the health care system in my country. Being a "high functioning" assigned female, I know that the effort outweighs the outcome for me. I want more than anything to be confident and proud in who I am. Plus, I can be incredibly stubborn and untrusting of authorities. I believe myself and I'm not going to let some undereducated doctor undermine my sense of self. I have spent enough time questioning my own worth that I'm not going to allow anyone the opportunity to make me doubt myself again.
Been a year since this comment was written but I wanted to thank you. I'm in the same boat right now and I thought it was "wierd" to not want an official diagnosis. It just 'clicked' recently so I'm still processing the whole thing but it feels good to see that I'm not alone. Sincerely, thank you!
I’m done going through “journeys of self-discovery”. They do no bit of damn good if they don’t lead to the truth. And if a diagnosis is the truth, then I need that diagnosis.
26 year old American male here - in August I was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. Medicaid covered the costs of everything, at least for me and my situation(young, healthy,single, no children,independent, impoverished) The total process took me from October 2017-August 2018. Started in October with visiting a regular counselor, that snowballed into regular visits and after about 2 months she started talking to me about autism and recommended I consider testing. I did research and immediately felt I had found my tribe for the first time in my life. My counselor helped me find a psychologist to test with, one who specializes in Autism and trains PhD candidates. I got lucky. I had to wait from February until the end of May to start the testing process. I first did the ADOS in May, then in July I had three separate 3 hour appointments that involved interviews, testing activities, and questionnaires. It was a long and tiring process but worth it to me. I am fortunate enough to be poor enough to have Medicaid cover the entire process, I only paid for the gas to get to and from my appointments. I am fortunate enough to live in America!
"Definitely maybe" is good enough for me. From there it depends on the individual and their needs. I'm going to go forward with seeking a diagnosis bc I finally found a psychiatrist who communicates well with me and is a little quirky himself. Got diagnosed with ADHD, got meds, getting a little improvement there... but it is a lengthy process, so thank you for laying that out so plainly. (Also I do a really similar shoulder shrug thing all the time -- none of us are ever truly alone!) Thank you for your videos and all the information you have shared.
I got diagnosed recently by two trained mental health professionals and I'm 31. The biggest blessing to me has been that it has provided answers to why I behaved the way I did all these years.
here in 2020 // (I'm 20 years old), I've been teetering about getting an official diagnosis. I know I'm autistic but I know that my family won't believe me, but they believe the things I have diagnosis for. But after watching a this and the "Are you Autistic?" vids, I think my confidence in saying for myself that "Yes, I am autistic." is definitely boosted. I have a list of things I experience and was ready to hand that to my doctor to be like "please help me be diagnosed" but now.. I think it's just a good list to have because I have friends who I've shared the list with and they relate to. So thanks for the confidence boost in my own self diagnosis! 😊
It's June 2021 and I self diagnosed about a month ago. A situation arose where I felt my wife lacked empathy and challenged her to an online test. Eye opener. Subsequent research explained every single way I'm weird and I don't need validation. This knowledge has helped me tremendously. I'm becoming more conscious of what I say to people, throttling back my garage design/build projects that generally waste time and money, and working harder at masking. We either get very good at it or we live and die alone. I've learned that we have a super-power, the power to focus. It's not to be trifled with.
I was officially diagnosed by an autistic therapist but in the south of the U.S.A. one needs a PHD or MD to " officially" diagnose, not a Masters. Mine has a PHD but is amongst a group of autistic therapists debating the current diagnosis model used in the US. I am 54 and just this year learned I am autistic, ADHD and PTSD. For 20+ years I was mis-diagnosed as Bipolar, had horrible reactions to every bipolar medicine given. My true diagnosis changed my life, epiphany after epiphany and my life finally made sense!
I am formally diagnosed with ADHD and learning that I have autism filled in all of the missing bits with my ADHD. I am 61 so I am still debating if a formal diagnosis is right for me. This is an excellent video and thank you for posting. Your content is amazing!
I am already under a doctor's care for depression anxiety and ptsd. I can talk w her about this. Yes having to document this in health record. But I see everything ! I also thinking back about my mom now I'm wondering about her. She was a very accomplished woman in science and creative arts.
Thank you for this video, this encourages me to seek a proper diagnosis. For the three years, I've seen two therapists. They both lean towards BPD, while recognizing patterns and behaviors consistent with Asperger's, and yet my research over the topic has informed me that many people ultimately diagnosed with AS, had initially been misdiagnosed with BPD. Self-diagnosing, and declaring so has damaged my relationship with a family member because they insisted the the me they know has always been consistent with the NT condition when I insist I've masked all this time, insist ing they don't know the me that cannot sustain prolonged suppression of uncommon behaviour, inconsistent with the NT condition. This person went as far as saying I was looking for a diagnosis as a licence to dismiss bad behaviour. Thankful, there have been people who have been more receptive, like my mother who also displays characteristics of AS, but has never gone so far as to consider it for herself, and my aunt, who has a daughter (the youngest of 3) with an official Autism diagnosis.
Paul - thank you for your insights. Just double-tested / "unofficially diagnosed" about 2 years ago, at age 51. I think either way, it's a double-edged sword. Like some have said here, they may not have accomplished as much as they have in life if they knew earlier on. I agree with that. Growing up in the 70s, we were just "freaks" or "spazzes". Yes it hurt to be persecuted and outcast. But for me it galvanized me to become a better person. I know I've employed an array of masking and coping strategies throughout my life to not only get by, but excel in many cases. Married almost 28 years, 5 children, full-time employed for the vast majority of that time. But...now knowing the truth, I'm at peace. I've got a peace and understanding about myself that I never had, and it is priceless, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Initially in denial, I had almost a "life flashing before my eyes" experience as the truth sunk home. Recounting innumerable experiences from earliest childhood forward. I don't use it as a crutch or excuse, but as an explanation. I can so much better explain to my spouse how I'm feeling and why, ahead of time, to avoid big arguments and blow-ups. Keep up your good work, you are helping and making a difference!
I recently discovered that my parents were informed by my elementary school to get me tested and they only got me tested for ADHD. It was the year 2000 though and I’m a woman. So it was practically a guarantee that I was going to get misdiagnosed as both ADHD and Autism were considered male dominant disorders for a long time. As an adult, I started digging into autism out of pure curiosity as I am prone to just jump down research rabbit holes whenever it strikes me. Things started clicking at that point. I’m not someone who believes in self-diagnosis for any condition. I won’t begrudge anyone who prefers to self-diagnose because of financial or time reasons though. I’m just someone who needs things to be concrete. I brought up my research to my therapist and she looked like a lightbulb went off in her head too so I decided to get myself on a waitlist. Even if it’s not autism, I’m hoping I can speak with the psychiatrist about other possibilities of what could be happening.
I have a new friend with two daughters on the spectrum and she thought that I might be too. I did some research and based on my life experience I think she's right. I don't really want an official diagnosis but more knowledge on how to go forward and live the best life I can. Everything is compounded with an abusive childhood that means I often respond inappropriately in stressful situations. I'm 65 and retired so employment is not a concern but trying to develop an art career and knowing I'm possibly aspie will help me going forward. Excellent channel thank you.
Read up, as many books as you can. Learning what it means and how it affects the way you think, behave, even just feel - all that will help you going forward. Getting a formal diagnosis qualified me to 6 months of one to one treatment with a therapist who was highly specialised and experienced in Aspergers. Those sessions were fantastic and nicely paced as I had a small amount of homework every week. I think I can say what I learned about myself was a game changer.
Thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into all your videos, Paul. Lots of people say they don't like labels, however I feel they help you to understand and know yourself better plus predict future issues ahead of time. I'm an INTJ and self diagnosed Aspie and yeah I've been agonising over the decision in regards to a formal diagnosis. I'm afraid I could lose my career as a result. Oh and I had a pretty volatile bullying incident at work last week that took me totally off guard and caused me great anxiety. I'd left a comment on your bullying video about how I aim to pre empt other people's behaviour so I can deal with them effectively and not let nasty, aggressive people walk all over me but this time it didn't make any difference and I just wanted you to know that because I may have come across as arrogant. ✌💜
Keep in mind if you are a temp visa holder and not a citizen, and get diagnosed autistic, you can have your visa cancelled because you are considered a burden on the system. (Even if you never use the system). This will also be an issue if you want to apply for a permanent visa in another country. Autism (Even high functioning) is considered a disability in many countries including Australia and they will deny you a visa to live there (you can still travel of course, just not reside). So that is something to consider as well, before getting an official diagnosis (you must disclose). It's funny because you are the exact same person, it's just you have a label attached which makes you either worthwhile or worthless in the eyes of immigration. I would think more aspies would be beneficial to a country, given their aptitude for technical problem-solving and outside-of-the-box thinking. In the words of Ned Kelly "Such is life"
Thank you for this!!! Yeah this is beyond stupid & messed up... and I never would have suspected this to be the case in some countries! Your info will save many of us from lots of pain & turmoil.
The timing of finding this video is priceless! 54 y/o female self diagnosed a few months ago after stumbling upon autism as summarizing my entire lifetime experience. ASD assessment appointment tomorrow morning and didn't think I'd feel nervous, but I'm a jumble of dis-regulated nerves. Blessed with insurance coverage; yet, the outcome seemed so heavy bc dismissed my entire life. Until your video made me realize I know my truth whether a stranger/psychologist validates it. Thank you! I can breathe again tonight.
I'm a 40 year-old woman, second language teacher and literature researcher. I had some difficulties to start working when i was young, but nowadays it's wonderful the way i feel i offer the students new ways to think and learn language (i have ideal conditions, not more than 15 students for class, adult students, not noisy place, and i can control all the things in the environment of the classroom, as lights, sounds, if i need it). I really would like to get a official diagnosis in the next years. I've known about Asperger this year, when i was searching some ways to help some of my students. But It was a great surprise. It was absolutely chocking for me something which could explain my behavior, my difficulties, my sensibility for light, sounds, colors, smells, and overcrowded places. It was very important to realize i was not simply "weird", (as somme people always told me), but only different, i have a different system, i maybe feel the world in a different way. I felt i was not alone, there were others like me. But i think a diagnosis in my case could not help in work, because there is a lot of prejudice involving autism and Asperger, people really don't know these conditions, and some directors or coordinators could simply not employ a teacher with this "label", because of other false labels this could come together. I would not open this in work places. But i really would like to get the official diagnosis, for me, for my family, mainly to understand family's and friendship's issues. (sorry for my english, it is not my best foreign language). Thank you for this video!
@Daring Greatly84 I've had a lot of short time contracts and temporary jobs, since i was 25. i was not always happy and i've abandoned things sometimes, and i was many times felling misunderstood, mainly when i needed to do political and social negociation. I think i was depressed for many times and I've been unemployed many times too, sometimes both together (i had no psychologic support, neither knew about asperger, it would help me a lot, i'm sure). After my 35 i think things started to flow, very slowly but better. As i followed an academic carreer it helped me, because i've had many choices., i've tryed different field inside my language and litterature mainly field, edition, translation, teaching literature, researching, teaching language... there were moments when some of them were my special interest, other i hated. i think everything would be better if i knew a.s. before. My place i've found very recently, less than 2 year ago, through some real friends network,.so i had an intervew and i think i was really me, correct, methodical, but soft, i asked things and small details of the job, the boss liked my answers too and nowadays she likes my work. I feel very happy with what i do, but i know it's only the beginning and i have to be always renewing my points me to be interested. I suggest people always follow something that makes them curious. I realy think aspies can be excellent teachers of the interest they love and know very well, if they can find their very interested students, and the boss who can see the potencial.
This is absolute GOLD! It's giving us the prerequisites to better choose where to go from here. Especially those whom are just now learning that they're indeed ASD (especially those who found out late in life!) I'm very grateful for you, KUDOS and Immensely Obliged! (35y/o with recent ASD discovery, mother of 3.)
Im self diagnosed at 46 and have felt like a failure all of my life for not being able to keep friendships and jobs. It is so frustrating and Ive also struggled with depression a good bit. I just wish I could at least find a line of work that I can do. I am highly creative and artistic but the thought of going into work at a company is so upsetting. Ive tried starting a flower design business but the going out and trying to land corporate clients has been almost impossible for me. The whole not fitting in is a big part pf the problem. I live in a smaller town and it is very cliquey. I am the odd one out, but I do really beautiful work. I am also a graphic designer. And am really good in academia doing research. I have thought about going back to school to get a masters in something that interests me. I got married thinking that I wouldn't be able to support myself and then married an abusive man. We are now divorced after four years of hell. I wish I could find my way. I feel like I need help. I have no family.
Have you found a way to do work as a graphic designer? Getting started is so difficult when you don't know how to do it (or are unable to reach out). Such a simple thing for many people is like climbing a mountain for others. I'm still climbing that mountain, hoping to reach the top. I feel the (online) opportunities are there.
I relate re not being able to keep jobs etc it’s been a bloody struggle being me 😕🙄 and it’s only dawning on me I’m on the spectrum slap bang in there🤷♀️
I'm self-diagnosed and going back and forth: do I want to seek an official diagnosis or not? What's making me more hesitant is that I ran the gaunlet, from doctor to doctor, for *years* when I was seeking a diagnosis for my ever increasing health problems. I was told that I was making it up, that it was all in my head, that I was exaggerating, that I had hypochondria... I went to a therapist for a few years because I thought they were right, before my health just crashed completely and an MRI showed that I had lots of lesions in my brain. Cue a couple of tests, and presto: I was not making it up - I have multiple sclerosis. And if *that* is the reaction I get for something that can be proven with an MRI and a spinal tap, what is going to be the reaction when I'm trying to get a diagnosis for something like autism? I kind of expect the same reactions from doctors, only ten times worse.
Also, in regards to the problem that an official diagnosis might not be accepted by friends or family, or that it might not change things: Again, compared to my MS diagnosis: even after I could point to a piece of paper and say: see, I have MS, there is a reason for this and this and this, I got (and get) lots of reactions like "Oh, everybody is tired sometimes" (when MS fatigue compares to 'tired' like a raging, blinding migraine compares to a mild headache) or "Can't you just pull yourself together for a couple of hours?" (on days when I'm struggling to get up and function on the most base level). It's gotten better, ironically, since I need a cane to walk. There are lots of reactions that suggest that I'm exaggerating, and I don't think I could take the reactions when I add "Hey, folks, I have autism!" to the mix... Diagnosing myself, finally trusting my feeling that yes, this is it, this is what I've been feeling all of these years, this is why I've been struggling, this is why I studied human interaction like a foreign language, was such a relief, it made me giddy. I'm an expert at masking, I think. On most days, I can run through my scripts and pass as normal, if maybe a bit annoying and prone to obessive hobbies. That won't make it easier to get accepted as autistic among my family and friends, because when they think of autism, they think "Rain Man". My husband doesn't need a diagnosis to believe me. When I dared to tell him for the first time I might be on the spectrum, he was not just *not* surprised, he seemed one step ahead of me.
"It meant I wasn't crazy, it meant I wasn't alone." This is the one big thing I found post diagnosis was finding online support groups and finding out that it wasn't just me; that there were others like me who experienced the world the way I experienced it.
I've not been officially diagnosed and being female it's difficult but even my mum and family members all said they suspected I have autism but didn't bother getting official diagnosis cause it was mild and as a adult I learnt how to deal with it. Thank you for this as a adult and a child now who has autism (going through official diagnosis) but made me think he may have it cause I have it but I don't see the point now of official diagnosis as I already have a medical official diagnosis of multiple sclerosis which already impacting my life but I pretty much self diagnosed myself as autistic I still have a lot of flags of it but the time, energy and money etc doesn't sound appealing to me especially having a autistic child and MS can't do all the travelling and can't afford it thank you and even with self diagnosed I do feel better knowing all my odd behaviours have a name behind it
Hi "undiagnosed" adult female aspie here. I definitely recognize the challenge keeping your eyes on the camera. Sometimes you look straight at it, but it seems easier when you look away. I have to struggle to make eye-contact unless I am EXTREMELY comfortable with someone.
Thanks, this was helpful. Side note: it’s interesting to me that in your description you say ‘I know I dont look autistic’, because throughout the video I was very at ease with how you broke eye contact frequently, played with the ball, fidgeted etc. It made me feel i could ‘unmask’ more and be more comfortable watching (I feel less need to mask around/seeing other autistic ppl). At least to me a first-time watcher and superficial witness, you do appear autistic. I watch a lot of youtubers and many look straight at the camera the whole time. It is very unsettling. Then again, i am familiar with autistic people and have researched it so I know the ‘tells’.
Wow this video is major GOLD. And the comments are too. Thank you, Paul. I'll definitely be buying you a few coffees in the new year to offer what tangible appreciation I can for all you do.
I'm scared to get an official diagnosis because of my future career in nursing and the medical field in general. I do not want to experience the ridicule or possibility of not receiving a job due to my medical diagnosis and maybe being required to disclose it. Luckily I am receiving accommodations at my college for test taking with my diagnosis of ADHD and the fact that my counselor believes me and knows I'm not interested in getting a diagnosis.
No employer in the US will ever ask u about your mental or emotional diagnoses. No one will ever ask u to disclose this. The only exception would be in government military, intelligence work I would imagine.
If you’re an adult who went to college and graduated and are having a hard time keeping a job and you’re constantly having to depend on your siblings to support you financially you should definitely get yourself diagnose and get the therapy that’s available they could help you with job placement picking out the right career and Social Security disability. If your having a hard time with life with supporting yourself with communication you should definitely get diagnoses.
U have been watching these videos and can see so much if myself in them. I am 60 years old and know j need to do now. Thank you for helping me. I wish I had seen these before
I’ve got many autistic traits, tho I failed getting a positive diagnosis by about 3 marks. I literally didn’t learn to socialise until I left high school and I still suck at it
I stumbled upon your "25 questions" video in April, and decided to watch it because my sister said on two occasions in the past that she thought I had Aspergers. I really didn't believe her, but wanted at least to know what she was talking about. I was quite surprised when I understood she was probably right. The more videos I watched, from you and others, the more confirmation I got. Earlier this month (June) I went to my physician and told my suspicion, and now I have three appointments in the next two months at the center for adult autism in my county. I'm laid off because of the crisis now in 2020, so I've got plenty of time for this kind of thing. It's also part of the public health services in Norway, so what's to pay is merely symbolic. I do struggle a bit with not having a diagnosis from professionals, so I'm quite happy that it turns out to be rather quick and easy to get it in my case. I also think this can open some more doors in the future.
PRO: I'm in college and get more time in exams and other help (e.g. can do a written task instead of a presentation/group task). CON: I'm trying to get a sleep-related problem diagnosed for some time now, or at least help for it, but so far it only gets shoved aside ('not my area, maybe go to X' meaning more waiting for an appointment at the next doctor's office) or put into the autism box. One young doc just heard my diagnosis and basically stopped listening, as if EVERY problem you could possibly have must be because you're autistic, and that's it. No help, no tests, no questions. It's incredibly tiring and made the whole endeavour very emotionally charged, which it didn't need to be.
I admire people WAY smarter then me as long as they are at least somewhat humble . I like learning from people who have walked down paths of pain . I relate to that sort of thing . "With much wisdom comes much grief " "in all your getting get Wisdom...She is the principal thing "
Self Diagnosis: watching dozens to hundreds of YT videos of various disorders trying to figure out which one fits you best, then finding that the Aspie videos suddenly make every aspect of your life from early childhood through the current day suddenly fall into place and make sense in a way you had always wished things would make sense. After that, if you find incredible comfort listening to and talking to other Aspie's where you absolutely don't with other neurotypical people; it's like being set free from a prison, whether a doctor opened the door or you opened it yourself.
' the diagnosis doesn't actually change anything... that can be dangerous: there is still quite a stigma around autism... it's really important to have support around you '
I’m getting evaluated soon and I love watching you talk because you talk so much like me! Like the way you look away and think and gesture with your hands, and the rhythm of how you stop to think when you talk
Thank you for this video. I'm 61 and just discovered I'm 'likely' on the spectrum. I will not seek an official diagnosis. There is no need, for me, to spend time and effort that can be used learning how to use these traits in a practical way. I no longer beat myself up for being different. Just knowing the reason for it, has cleared up so many questions. I already have an excellent support system in my life. Time to move forward in a positive direction.
I’ve been going to therapy for years and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and borderline personality disorder. A couple months ago my mother came across a video about a priest being diagnosed with asperger syndrome as an adult. She then researched it a lot and eventually told me about it because she thought that maybe I had it. After like a day of research I thought that maybe she was right. A couple weeks later I brought it up at therapy and my therapist completely dismissed it. She is very experienced with bipolar and bpd as well as autism. But I believe that her only idea of autism stems from experience with children that are on the opposite side of the spectrum as I would be
Had so many friends as me if I was aspy…. I’m a rather muscular man so it’s only those that I’ve interacted with over time have pointed it out. Your video has confirmed their suspicions. Thank you for telling my life stories. I finally get why I’ve always loved being with groups of girls. And how similar muscles can be to dreadlocks…
Last year I was speaking to a client. She is a psychologist, and after talking to her for around 10 minutes she piped up and bluntly asked if I’d been diagnosed with Asperger’s. I disregarded what she said until recently when I decided to research the subject and WOW, what a revelation! I did every single online test and every single one scored me highly probable for Asperger’s. I have been reading all sorts of articles and testimonies and it was like reading about my own life and all the struggles I’ve had since childhood. Many are verbatim of my own experience in having to mask the symptoms to fit in. I a lucky that I work by myself and for myself so many of the issues some have to deal with don’t apply to me. But the symptoms, experiences in social settings and general behaviour are a mirror to my own life. It has been an enormous challenge to accept this as I always thought of Asperger people to somehow be retarded, but I have a near genius level IQ so it didn’t occur to me that I might have it. Now that I know much more about it there is a peace I feel that has evaded me for most of my life.
A formal diagnosis might have helped me in hight school and college. But I'm 62, retired from a technical job due to a disability, and a professional diagnosis would not be worth the cost. I'm self-diagnosed, by way of life history, available Aspie online tests- even looking at differential diagnoses. My wife basically said "ah, you're autistic- that explains it", lol. She works in health care, and hasn't the prejudices and misunderstandings so common with others.
Who do I see for help. I don't care so much as getting diagnosed with aspergers but I want my life to change and improve. I'm 29 and I have no friends, social anxiety, and never had a girlfriend. I'm absolutely sick of suffering.
When I watched a TED Talk, I was frozen in time, the lightbulb went on. I. Found. Me. I have panic/anxiety, ADHD, bipolar, PTSD, etc. My therapist is referring me to an Autism therapist, however he told me that he doesn't see it in me and that's disheartening. I cannot afford anything right now, I haven't been able to work because my body won't pretend like it used to and I loose my medical in June because I cannot work. I need to find support systems.
If you're a female it's essential you get somebody very experienced in adult female Aspergers. I saw a clinical psychologist for 22 sessions and he never caught on to it.
Hi. Im a newcomer to your channel. Atm the wealth of resources is a little overwhelming to me, but I wanted to say I am thankful you're sharing in this way & offering opportunities to people to share and make connections. ✨️
For me a diagnosis gives me permission to freely be whatever I am. No one can argue with me that I don't have it anymore because I know if they are going to disregard my research and the expertise of a psychologist then that is completely on them. I don't have to doubt myself. It's self-affirming self-protection.
You have saved my life after so much sruggle months of watching most of your more known videos now i have a diagnoses in a month and have enough to cover it. Youre and inpiring person thanks for speaking out this topic so nicely put and organized i have so much more insight now i was not satisfied with my ADD diagnoses even though i know its possible to be aspie and ADD i just felt i had to get a diagnoses for autism because sadly i still have overstimluation and burnout and breakdowns and its time i reached out for help but i would probably never seen that i can also be semi functional after being depressed all last summer and not enjoying anything this fall ive been enjoying my life watching good animated movies not watching scary movies and voilent action movies has helped my mind going outdoors fishing and seeing that i am not weird or an outcast just very depressed so proud to be here still and not suffering as much being open to the idea that i might be aspie or just ADD or both has helped my life my mental health so much coming from poverty and hispanic culture being autistic or just ADD is seen as an excuse to not work or make a living or connections its not impossible anymore i got so much weight off my shoulders 😅❤
I self diagnosed as a side effect of being friends with a psychology student; I took all her tests for fun, sometimes I even read the books they used. It never occurred to me, that reading a non-fiction book a week was a bit of an overkill. Since I could not believe the diagnosis I went on to have more tests and consume more specialized literature. And then I decided to ignore the results, because I simply couldn't believe them and my life was working just fine. Of course, I also concluded that psychology had to be hogwash... Fast forward a couple of years, after several badly broken relationships I sought refuge in reading and found the old books again; suddenly it all made sense: my mother always accused me of being a loner, my younger siblings said that I was "odd" my gfs said that I was sometimes hard as slab of steel, which I assumed was sort of a compliment, turns out, it wasn't... It all made sense, all of it! I have great respect for psychology now, I had therapy, I take measures anticipating events... My friend went on to earn her degrees, she's a therapist now... I made it trough college, have a good job...still enjoy living alone... My little nephew is autistic, my brother even mentioned once: "he's just like you when we were little", my brother has a very hard time copping with it... Thanks for this video, I hope it helps other who weren't as lucky as I was Thank you
But does treatment actually help with social interactions? Do they have a plan of action? Otherwise what's the point in sitting around talking about it?
For one, knowing your limitations is useful in overcoming them, whether in professional, social, intimate areas Also, if you trust your employer or live somewhere with legal protections, it could literally save your livelihood
No but watching these videos and seeing how other people respond in social interations helps. Knowing your not the only one. Finding easier ways to coop and not over exhausting yourself.
Not related soley to this video but I want to express my warmest thank you for the wealth of insight and facts you provide me and the community with. I’ve met no professional who knows and/or understand the neurodivergent experience like you do. 💐🤗
IMHO: As an "adult (over age 21yrs.) and you have difficulty in keeping a job, you may want to secure a diagnosis. It could be helpful. Once you have that you may/or may not tell your employer.
I think official diagnosis could help the employer watch some mishaps through fingers after knowing about you having aspergers. They might also be more understanding if you don’t pick up some possible social cues or figure of speech. Just some thoughts, haven’t had experience about this in real employment situations, haven’t disclosed my condition in any workplace yet. Although my job is such that it fits me fine. Much of independent work.
It's medical information protected by HIPAA laws. Only you have the power to share it with anyone. They finally have allowed mental health to be a part of physical health. Why it was ever not considered health is a topic for another time.
Dont tell the employer because they will not hire you or find every reason to fire you and they can make it look like it's not prejudice by just saying "your not right for this position" or not calling to affirm that you got the job to begin with.
This is exactly what I have been debating. I am a senior adult male and retired. I worked for a government agency and had jobs where I could work pretty much the w't'gay I wanted to. I put a lot of energy in the work and got rewarded for it. I have all the symptoms of the syndrome but I tend to hind them when in front of people. Therefore I have this urge when around people to get away by myself so that I can act out some of the symptoms. If I don't get away, I become very angry and will pick a fuss just to end the contacts. Back to this point which I digressed from which shows one of the systems. LOL But I don't actually need a diagnosis for work reasons. But sometimes think it would be good to pull out a document and show those that have doubts. It might help if you have trouble with the law or those in authority where you exhibited the behaviours and was misunderstood. I have no idea where to even start if I decided to do that. Also, for mental evaluations by professionals, does the information have to be reported to others. Is it on file somewhere. I would like to have the choice to divulge it or not. I don't have any personal reason to have it. I know I have had it since birth and have kept it quite all this time.
Similar circumstances as me, now a 69-year-old woman. As I learned about Asperger's Syndrome, I knew my brother and my father had the syndrome. They were the reason I was interested. I couldn't quite tell if I had Asperger's according to the symptoms lists I came across, but I was curious. By age 65 I was having memory and thinking problems, fearing I would follow in my father's Alzheimer's footsteps. My neurologist referred me to the psychology department of a nearby university for testing, two full days of very thorough testing. It turned out to be an IQ test which disappointed me; I wanted to know what was wrong, not how smart I was. However, I was shocked at the high scores; I always thought I was just average or below. Goes back to being female during a time before the advent of women's rights and respect as well as knowing I was somehow "different" from others. I pursued a formal diagnosis for several reasons. The first was that it would offer a label/explanation for my brother, his son and my father that they would not have to pay for; they are all more severe than me. Second, I gratefully had Medicare after 4 decades of paying for ever more expensive individual health policies coupled with a supplemental policy that paid for everything Medicare didn't; basically "free" health care. So it cost me almost nothing. Third, it would not affect my business/livelihood; my many long-time clients wouldn't care. Fourth, looking at growing elderly, I wanted caregivers to understand that I was different and how different so that maybe I'd be treated more appropriately. Even all of the medical community needs to know how I am different. I sought a diagnosis from a neuropsychologist in town who mostly assessed children for school reasons. It was just a few computerized tests one day in conjunction with the university's report. He said he was convinced I had very high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome; I still wonder. Though he didn't test for ADHD, he said I probably had that, too (my daughter and grandson do). I know I also have face blindness (prosopagnosia) and a photographic memory. The former exacerbated socializing beyond the usual Asperger's difficulties; the latter allowed me to excel in my work to have a solid career. I guess my high IQ allowed me to observe and imitate "normal" people long and accurately enough to get through meetings and brief encounters, ready to offer gracious excuses for any oddness they might perceive (extremely exhausting!). The rest of the time I was happiest to be alone. Luckily, for whatever reason, I have never felt lonely; it seems an awful thing that makes people make poor decisions sometimes. I'm glad it's missing in me.
thought i’d share a bit of my story as i am getting so so much out of reading other peoples’…. (thank you guys.) so hi. as of very recently, i’ve self-identified as being autistic as i’ve self-identified as being a human being. there’s just no doubt in my heart and mind. for this reason, amongst a few others, i haven’t thought seriously about getting a medical diagnosis for more than a second or two. i’ve been (mis-)diagnosed with this and that over the years (depression, (social)anxiety, bpd, adhd, ocd) that have never felt “right” to me and have only served to confuse and debilitate my sense of self even further…. that now that i feel on my own so incredibly sure of this one thing about myself, i almost feel the need to treasure it inwardly and tell nobody at all (who i know, eg. my family, friends if i ever make them, doctors), and most definitely not allow anyone else the space to make me feel so small and unsure, or unclaimed, like a sad little alien child in one’s own brain. i don’t even know what i’m saying or if it makes sense. but, it is what it is hahah. this is how i strongly feel about this right now, at least. (at age 25) if anyone cares to read… i’ll explain how i came about the “great realization”…. after visiting my mom recently while she was watching the show “love on the spectrum” it eventually brought about some oddly unexpected comments about how she has always told her coworkers and such that she has 4 children, 2 of which are “high functioning” autistic. and she told me it was me and my brother that she was referring to. weird moment. hardly knew what she was talking about at that time. further told me about how various old school teachers of mine would contact her letting her know that. i gotta be honest. my first reaction and current reaction is some sort of shock or hurt, especially after looking into it all extremely intensively and clarifying within myself that it couldn’t be more true. although i’ve always despised labels (so i guess i can’t blame her haha), but to put it very short, it would’ve saved me years and years of “beating myself up” quite literally for being a certain way, or not being a certain way, or whatever. i just have so so so much more gentle patience and understanding towards myself now, and even forgiveness during certain situations. anyways, another weird moment was realizing what my grandma meant… she has always called me “her little aspie” that i never really questioned what she meant, it just became an endearing sort of every now and again nickname (my grandma is also my best friend fyi). but recently-ish, maybe 5 or so years ago i did ask what she meant and she had told me something like “you most definitely have aspergers dear, i sure hope you don’t mind me calling you that!” and i just remember not really thinking much of it. just simply said “hah! no i don’t. you’re funny grandma.” :) (esp after she said it was “a form of autism” and the stigma or stereotypes for that wasn’t/isn’t so accurate most times especially for females) also, we would often joke that grandma will never ‘lose her marbles’ because she’s never had them, in the most loving way of course. her personality is wild. it’s the best. but she is intelligent and we all know it (she was a medical health professional herself), we’d never call her ‘dumb’ so to speak, just ‘crazy’, very very crazy. :) anyways. rambling on about my favourite person. but yeah, to conclude, i won’t be stressing myself over an official diagnosis whatsoever because to me personally it’s as simple as this, i believe myself over somebody else at this point, in terms of being told who i am. (especially since i have not always been the best at providing professionals the inside information needed to properly come to a diagnosis, oh yes i take full responsibly for that.) also, i no longer have the same self-detrimental issues that i’ve had my entire life so i don’t feel the need for treatment to be entirely honest. no more suicide attempts and empty voids, and that is all simply thanks to finding and getting to know Jesus. praise King Jesus, seriously… but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY.
It is not just about getting "an official diagnosis" but really about not knowing. In my case, I guess I have some traits similar to people on the spectrum, but I have no idea whether they would put myself firmly within the spectrum or whether I am still outside, even though I have some traits. So for me this would be an open investigation without a defined end result. I just feel that "self diagnosis" isn't really a thing. I am no mental health professional, I have no idea, how pronouced a trait has to be to count etc.
I will know for sure in about 3 months. That is when they have promised me the diagnosis.. I am in the UK so it was free, but my initial appointment with a doctor was in May 2017...
I was hoping to learn more about disability help from the state. Employment has usually been a nightmare for me and emotionally exhausting. The main reason I would go get a positive diagnosis would be to help me financially. I also have an artificial hip and need a knee replacement, which forced me to stop working at the only job I was doing well at and got along with everyone at, because I couldn't carry heavy boxes of food up and down their stairs anymore. I have worked at Loaves and Fishes occasionally, but I'm exhausted from the constant stress over 53 years and I need a break..
' often getting a final decision [a yes/no diagnosis] helps with the process [of self-acceptance] ... coming to terms.with that reality can be made a lot easier' 👏👏👏
' whether you have one or not [I.e. a diagnosis], there's lots of other stuff you can be doing - learning about yourself; learning about autism; learning about others; seeking support from family or friends, psychologists or ... all of that kind of stuff doesn't hinge on whether or not you have a diagnosis... so, I would definitely recommend that if you are looking to do some selfl-improvement , to learn more about yourself or just keep going down this path of asking yourself 'Am I on the autistic spectrum?' , then keep going with that path ' 👍 Aspie self-enlightenment 👍 🕯 🧘♀️ 🕯 🧘♀️ 🧘♀️ 🧘♀️ 🕯
When I was in college, I saw the school psychologist because I wanted verification as to whether I was on the spectrum or not. He wanted to talk to my parents for a formal diagnosis, and I wasn't comfortable with that. He did say at the end of our meeting that I most likely had Aspergers. That was good enough for me to feel comfortable calling myself an Aspie.
Just watching this is making me feel so happy. The system in the UK is not fit for purpose and if like you say your family is scathing, then you don't have a chance of a diagnosis. You just have to count your gifts.
self diagnosed - Its certainly set me on a path of understanding myself better - so even if its false - I KNOW and RESPECT and feel valid in my responses to my world more than ever... the only benefit would be outside validation - but Im not sure I need it so much anymore.. or its necessary. A few years ago - when I first suspected a lot of folks I enquired with were lke "we only diagnose kids, why bother? who cares?" and it was really expensive, and I used to tour theatre shows - so time...
the diagnosis 'allowed me to be confident identifying as an Aspie and [confident in] talking to others without fear about whether I am or whether I'm not [an Aspie] ... an official diagnosis could confirm that within yourself ... having a diagnosis can give you a clearer path forward [like] 'Great, I'm on the spectrum. What next?' ' 👍
I am wondering if my mother had that now, as well as maybe myself (Oh my gosh you collect dolls too? I haven't been able to in years. Husband didn't approve and no money now with divorce and all).
Hi Paul, you make a lot of sense in this video. Actually all of your videos that I’ve seen so far have been very empowering and revelatory. Thank you for making them. I live in rural Victoria so we don’t have the services that are available in the city. You mention asd or Aspergers to a GP around here and they simply roll their eyes and switch off. I would really appreciate it if you could inbox me about Aspergers Victoria and the name of the psychologist you saw. Both my partner and I are clearly aspie but trying to get any sort of help out here is so hard it’s really discouraging. Anyway, regardless, keep up the great work. We really appreciate what you are doing. You probably don’t know how much positive effect your work has around the world, but you have certainly had a profound impact upon my life. Cheers
Thank you for your videos! I have been suffering from Complex PTSD and have been recently noticing a lot of my symptoms seem to line up with Nuero-diversity. I am seriously debating whether or not to get tested. Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you for sharing who you really are with us. I know how difficult that can be!
I'm in an interesting situation. I'm 36 and have Duchenne muscular dystrophy. I was diagnosed (with DMD) at age 3 and I'm in a wheelchair, use a ventilator to breath 24/7, and I now use my computer with eye-tracking or eye-gaze technology. It's a progressively worsening condition, so I was not in a wheelchair until age 7. BUT my sister and I both think I, she and quite a few relatives on my mum's side are on the autism spectrum. The thing is a lot of people who work as carers, and also friends put my social difficulties down to being disabled and not getting out and having experiences, even blaming me and my family for not trying hard enough. And the disability rights movement, while having good intensions causes many of these people to think "he's just a normal person, but he's disabled". I say things like "I don't feel like a normal person" and people say I shouldn't let my disability stop me. And I tell them that's not what I mean. They all say that I'm not autistic, I'm making excuses, and I say that I went to a special school for physically disabled kids, and I felt different from even THEM. And sometimes I'm not sure who's right about the cause of my social awkwardness. I'm rather confused and I realise that when you have probable autism AND another disability people just don't get it. People used to think I wanted to be normal just like other kids and that's why I was not happy, but I never really wanted to be a "normal kid". I don't like my physical condition, but I don't want to be socially normal, because I like to be a bit weird. Should I get an official diagnosis? I don't know
I'm 20, and for a while, I thought I just had social anxiety and maybe some ADHD. But now that my eyes have been opened to what Aspergers is and how it affects the mind, it's become pretty obvious to me that I have been mildly autistic this entire time. The weirdest part is going through all my memories, with a completely different perspective, and realizing how obvious it was my whole life.
I feel the same way. It's really nice to know there is a real name for all the things I've been going through.
This is me, right now, at 23
This is me as well, though I'm 29 and have been looking into the matter for the last 4 years.
I hate to have to rely on self diagnosis but I'm not nor will I be financially able to seek an official diagnosis for the foreseeable future.
This is me at 28 ❤
I'm having a hard time with this. trying to remember any of my childhood has been difficult to understand my behavior I can't remember anything due to trauma and possibly disassociating constantly
I was diagnosed about three years ago at the age of 69. I was originally misdiagnosed with, of all things, chronic undifferentiated schizophrenia in 1974. I lost the prime of my life to having this follow me all those years, not to mention the worry that, if it were schizophrenia, it could come back and turn me into little more than a burden. I was in the process of reading a book called, "Neurotribes" while doing some of my own writing about this incident; the chapter on Asperger's sounded suspiciously familiar. I first consulted a psychologist (I will never trust another psychiatrist again as long as I live), who referred me to a neuropsychologist for the testing, which took three weeks. My medical insurance covered most of the cost and I had my diagnosis by the end of the month. The neuropsychologist advised me to "accept" my diagnosis; I informed her that I planned to revel in it, and I do. The degree of peace I now feel goes almost beyond description. The diagnosis is not an excuse; it is an explanation. It's my brain, and I'm in charge of a good deal of it. If I start to ruminate, for example, I simply now tell myself to knock that off. I no longer feel any compulsion to beat myself up for not fitting in, and if I don't feel like socializing, then I just don't. I now understand why I see the world the way I do and I perceive much of it, like the synesthesia, as a gift. If somebody else doesn't like it, that's his headache. Now I just have to make up for lost time with the time I have left.
Miriam Bucholtz thank you for sharing this
Your post is not only enlightening, but flawlessly generated as well. Best of luck in your quest. I shall be thinking deeply about what you've written.
I'm 38 and you just described what is in mind right now. I got diagnosed a week ago. Thanks for sharing this.
You inspire the heck outta me to chase my diagnosis, thank you
Miriam Bucholtz OMG! You hit the nail on the head about being misdiagnosed. Although I was never diagnosed with any mental disorders as you were, I’ve always seen myself as different. The thing that I realized is that I did not have interpersonal communication skills and that everything I do was from a learned behavior or I was mimicking what I saw. I would experiment and it is how I know how to act, so people would say to me you seem normal to me, which in fact, I am not like most people. Just like you, I would be diagnosed at a late age, because I am 61 years old. And as you said, the thought of being on the spectrum gave me an explanation of my past behaviors and will most definitely clarify my future going forward. Also; you stated that it’s not an excuse but an explanation, which gives me peace of mind already even though I have not been formally diagnosed. I’m so excited to hear someone else say the very things that I’ve experienced and in the way I would have phrased it. Thank you so much for your post and I’m sure it was not by chance that I came upon it. I like you realize that I wasted so many years of my life trying to fit in or be like other people, but now I have accepted who I am and I don’t care what others think. There is another aspect that makes it much more difficult for me to get an accurate diagnosis and that is that I am a female. From what I’ve read, it is thought that males dominate or make up the statistics for autism/Asperger’s. I hope that you are doing well and thriving!
After watching this video and several others on the same topic, I decided , at 70+ years of age, to not seek an official diagnosis due to lack of funds and advanced age. Everything I have learned here and on other channels describes me to a T. I am glad I have found out 2 things: why I am "different" and some people who are like me. Thank you for your videos.
I am 67yrs old and definitely on the spectrum too. I'm with you 💯 the cost 8s too much. I'm just glad for an explanation of my life.
I will definitely be seeking an official diagnosis because I was diagnosed with borderline, PTSD, and anxiety, but I knew all along there was more going inside of me. I've always felt like an actress and was observing people and mimicking them. And it was very tiring. It explains so much about how I see/feel the world around me and why 'normal' life is so difficult (working, having friends, dating, intimacy, traveling, having hobbies etc) Instead of being filled with all kinds of meds, I might finally be referred to the right kind of therapy and make something of my life, instead of living like a zombie.
@amar sai Don't apologise for bad English when it's actually good.
The only advise I would give you is to use more sentences instead of grouping them all together in one with only commas to separate them. Try to put a dot after each segment if it makes sense, to create lots of short sentences that stand for themselves.
I had this problem, with super long and hard to read sentences, earlier in my life aswell. But simply trying to make them as short as possible, in a practical manner, really helped.
Life is tiring I agree but I can't get my GP to refer me for an assessment so I'm struggling with life and at 38 this is hindering ALL AREAS HELP!
Me too with cptsd and borderline
@amar sai I do the same exact thing. I play my role to a T in hopes that I'll blend in and people won't seek me out.
I relate. Thank you for sharing your journey. It's very helpful to me.
I am helped very hugely by Palmetto Harmony CBD oil, when I can afford it.
My parents always knew that I was on the spectrum but they didn't want me to be separated into a special needs school, because then it goes from "Be all you can be!" in mainstream education to "OK, this kid is not gonna have a great life, let's be honest. Time for damage control." in the special needs system.
And to be honest, I'm glad that they didn't get me diagnosed as a child because I went further than I thought by not knowing. If I had been told at a young age that there was "something wrong with me", I would never have achieved what I have.
Did you ask your parents to find out that they knew already?
@@YoungTooShabby well, they always suspected. My mum is a school teacher in a special needs school, so she has experience with autism.
For me it's the opposite, if I wouldve known i wouldve been more functional knowing why.
Well, I agree with the "LD" (Learning Disabilities) classroom bit. All those classrooms did was put me in with a bunch of "problem kids" who had managed to stay out of jail and avoid expulsion and they made the lessons easier so that I and the rest of the classroom could pass through the school system more easily, which I think only served to teach me bad avoidant life habits, because I was never really challenged or allowed to fail in those classrooms.
(I was in school back in the 90's by the way)
I would definitely say that I've had a difficult time after leaving the school system though, I was left, I guess, very unprepared for the world ahead of me and still struggle with things.
I was diagnosed at 35. I think it was good, so that I finally knew why I felt "different"
Tom O has there been anything negative that came from an official diagnoses? Just wondering. Thx.
Daring Greatly84 It's been about 2 years since an official diagnosis. There have been some real bad days when I knew for sure that I was "different" than the kids I grew up with. I wish I was diagnosed when I was younger, so I could have had more therapy about social skills and understanding sarcasm. I've lost a lot of friends and I know it's because of the Autsim, but I still don't know exactly what I did wrong. Almost all of the medicines for depression and OCD have never worked for me. But, I would say to get a diagnosis, it will help getting services that you might not have had before. Hope this helped. Any other questions you have I'll try and answer. I'm a lot better at communicating by writing since I can look it over and think about my answers than in person in case someone asks something I'm not ready for. I definitely don't have as many meltdowns as I did when I was a teenager because I know what I was feeling was because of Autsim.
Same here
Tom I feel you man. I really wish i was diagonosed earlier so I can have more help growing up
I was looking for a comment like this, looks like I'm not the only one that believes that will happen if I get a diagnose
I had no idea what autism was when diagnosed aged 31. I needed a diagnosis to claim welfare. The downside is that the diagnosis was used by social workers & my own mother to try to take away my parental rights/custody of my child. My diagnosis was exploited by professionals who had never even met me. My autism symptoms were even portrayed as schizoid personality disorder, by a very desperate psychiatrist. Although they did not win, they did a lot of unjust slandering of my character. They did not get away with this before. In fact a previous attempt before my diagnosis ended up with them having to open a 5 year investigation. Where they removed data, apologized & awarded me compensation. Just having the diagnosis changed everything. It was like a green card for them to fabricate whatever they wanted on a mass scale. And it resulted in any future complaint I made automatically being assumed my fault. All complaint processes I requested were prevented from being started.
Carol Jenkins
WOW that's absolutely terrible! I'm glad they didn't win. I'd rip off someone's head if that happened to me. I hope they didn't successfully take your children.
Thank you for sharing your story. That makes me apprehensive of seeking a diagnosis just because how the system is.
What country are you in Carol? Thats an awful thing to happen.
This is why I don't want to go in for an official diagnosis
I have experienced all of this too. There are certain nasty people who will gaslight you in a relationship and continue that slandering after the relationship is over. My ex wife claimed, and still claims I am ‘grooming my daughters’. You can’t defend yourself against filthy slander like that. If you don’t say anything you are seen as passively endorsing the claims. If you do, people assume you are defending yourself against something. That woman has no concern about the damage she has done to either me or the children. It’s just restrained violence. If she finds out I have asd, I might lose the children for good.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for plainly mentioning the lack of professional knowledge when diagnosing ADULT FEMALES. 🙏🏽 That alone gives me some significant satisfaction within myself that I've not had but within the community. I've not sought a diagnosis for ASD because of that, because I could imagine the emotional harm of being set back inside myself even more, being alone in this world of my mind further and the second guessing that automatically goes along with it. It can be frighteningly lonely and emotionally depleting and has been to a good degree having even someone closest to me not "see it", which to me meant, I was merely seen as eccentric, overly passionate, lazy and, of course, "weird". It's as though ppl are waiting for a certain performance they've concocted in their non professional minds that I'm not displaying for them and therefore I just added hypochonfria and possibly attention seeking or abelism to that list. If a professional were to deny the diagnosis, that would give the whole world of judgments in my mind all the merit and that would shake me to my core. However, I will still seek one. Meticulously, slew of signed diagnoses in hand (that literally create the full umbrella for a decently typical female adult autistic mind) searching for a professional on the pulse of adult female autism. Feeling this to my core with very straight forward information I cannot see anything less than a solid diagnosis. 🤞🏽*Touch wood*
I see you there & hear you.
Thank you, this was very helpful! You laid things out clearly and logically.
I'm 57 and I've been "weird" all my life, now I'm the "quirky gramma" everyone loves, but life is exhausting.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, 2 years ago my granddaughter, who is just like me, was taken in for testing and was diagnosed with Aspergers. That was when a lightbulb went off and I started looking into the possibility I was misdiagnosed. Your video has given me the confidence to get an official diagnosis, it will not only help me but my granddaughter as well.
Thank you again.
Cindy Shirts we are all quarky gamma to lol
More and more medical scientists are beginning to believe that there are two different type brains; the neuro typical, and the neuro divergent. I live the latter, because it doesn't sound negative. In the past they thought these "conditions" were a mental illness, or a disability, now some experts believe it's just different, like an automatic transmission car, and the manual transmission car. There's no good nor bad, it's just is.
Before the industrialized era, it wasn't that big of a deal people with ADHD, or autism - the people just worked and did their thing. Since it ran in the family, like the color of our skin or eyes, we just followed the footsteps of our parents; watch makers, cobblers, musicians, bakers, etc., and more and more, they're suspecting that many GENUISES of the past had neuro divergent brains, and still today, people like Einstein, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Agatha Christy, etc. Some scientists are even playing with the idea that the neuro divergent brain is the next step in humanity - the more advanced brain!!!
Having another type of brain is NOT a disability, NEITHE a mental illness, just like having a different color skin, race or culture. Wer come in all shape or sizes, we can be good or bad people, we can be very smart - like genius, and some of us can be mentally challenged. Some of us can actually have a mental illness or disorder, just like a neuro typical person, and some of can be absolutelly normal people, with the traits that come with being a neuro divergent person. Some of us display more of these traits, ideas don't, and many of us, especially women like us, have learned to fit in - we who do in essence are SUPER exhausted daily, for acting all day, learning to anticipate other peoples needs and desires society expects from neuro typical people, just to fit in. Imagine having to user crutches to walk, and you need to carry four groceries bags home every other day - it does not work well, well that's a highly functioning neuro divergent person. We work harder, to look "normal" it's not that our situation is any less challenging.
With that said, I'm highly functioning, but although I looked "normal" to most, the people closest to me found me odd once in a while; eccentric, or black and white, and why do I care so much things weren't this way or that, it wer all made fun of my high sense of smell, or my need for being surrounded by ONLY beautiful and pleasant things. I eas highly intelligent in school, so much so, after a test in lower school, I www.ad offered to skip 6 grades! However my behavior was HORRENDOUS - I was the class clown! If you asked ANYONE who knows me today if they knew I eas the class clown, they would say no way!!!
In any case, call it neuro divergent, and just like any mixed race person may have blue, green, brown or black eyes, or straight, wavy or very curly hair, or is tallbor short, slim or heavy, attractive or not, intelligent or not,vhaveca mental illnesses not, etc, we are that way too. There are two types of brain in humanity, and neither one is the better one, they're just different 😊
I'm 52 and self-diagnosed since about 2 years ago when I stumbled upon an article which led to further reading. Since then my daughter has been diagnosed and we're pretty sure that I'm right. The only thing holding me back is money. I'd quite like the validation of a diagnosis just because I'm pretty high functioning but life has been a long hard slog and it's a massive relief to realise that I'm actually awesome and gifted rather than a struggling failure, and none of it was my fault 😁. Be a nice way to spend my last decades, fully assuming my batty, selfish ways and being a superhuman mad old cat woman.
I'm also a mad old cat woman (twenty years older than you, in fact) who was diagnosed three years ago (see my comment above). I completely agree with you about how we're awesome and gifted. It's a rotten shame that the neurotypicals tend to be so easily frightened; there is a lot we could teach them if they'd take the time to listen. For the first time in my life, I no longer hate myself.
"Struggling failure..." I feel this in my core. 45 and recently self diagnosed. So many questions about myself have been answered, it's crazy. If only I could afford an official diagnosis.
Do you think it is genetic? I have been relating to many of the traits, wondering how to get a diagnosis, and if it would be used against me.
And I don't think I can take more abuse. But in watching this video, i noticed the way he was moving his shoulders. And my mind flashed to my own mother. She always had this sort of tick with her shoulders, moving them in a similar way. She also would twirl her hair with her fingers when she wasn't smoking. She seemed sort of aloof as I was growing up. My father would notice when something was bothering me.
The curious thing is, she was a psychologist herself. If there is a hereditary component to this, it would make it easier to forgive her for not having the kind of relationship I would have preferred. Lost her 2 years ago and my dad before that, so I can't ask him. It would make sense, her studying psychology though, if she felt different. Wow, this could be huge
What if you get a diagnosis that you are NOT on the spectrum, even when you have some of the Aspie traits? That would be my worst fear, especially paying all the money and then being left with no explanation for my deficits.
Yes I feel the same. Self diagnosed but I think I would be told there's nothing wrong with me and I'm making it all up in my head.
I have done lots of tests online and majority have said yes I am so would like to get checked properly. Lucky its not expensive in my country
I think this must be a common traumatic thought response for women on the spectrum. I know that I have those thoughts. Fear of the unknown response of others, too many variables regarding the person doing the assessment (their biases, lack of knowledge, hidden bureaucracy and numbers, etc.). Mix that in with a lifetime of being told that you are experiencing or showing your emotions "the wrong way", you get anxious adult women who have been taught to deny their own experience.
I wish the entire thing wasn't such a mess.
Ale Jay This speaks to me on so many levels. I am a 24 year old women and have never been comfortable identifying as autistic because when I’ve brought it up in the past my experiences have been denied or dismissed as being “overly sensitive” or “over reactive”. I’ve been gaslighted so many times I just believe the people telling me I’m wrong about my own personal experiences.
That’s what happened to me for 5 years. My mom tried getting me tested multiple times for 5 years (from 3yrs old to 8yrs old). I didn’t know that until recently and it’s taken a toll on me. I feel like I’m faking or it’s not valid because the doctor didn’t say so but that was 13-16 years ago. I feel like I am on the spectrum but since doctors told my mom that I wasn’t but I had a ton of traits she doesn’t think so. She thinks it’s just quirks
My friend I can't tell you how large of a impact you have on my life. I only realized I was on the spectrum a couple years ago, I will be 38. it's a true pleasure to hear that I am not alone and that I finally know what's wrong with me. You can't always trust medical professionals. I really just wanted to thank you. Thanks man, your a life saver.
I was just formally diagnosed 4 hours ago. I will say that I am very relieved. There is something about it being official. I have no obligation to tell anyone, not my employer, not my family, not my friends. I do regret that I am 28 years old and just getting this diagnosis, because I feel like I could have used some help earlier in life.
I am self diagnosed as an Aspie at age 67.
I didn't consider that I might be on the spectrum until my adult daughter questioned if she might be.
I read a lot about the characteristics of people on the spectrum and started to see myself over the years and also my daughter's behaviors as Aspie.
My daughter is a brilliant 45 yr old that does many things for enjoyment that a 15 yr old would do ....like collect action figures and go to the movies frequently. She has a good job and functions independently on her own. Until she was 12 yrs of age, she had what I called temper tantrums but now I see that these episodes were most likely Aspie meltdowns.
I am glad to have been enlightened...glad to have this awakening as to why my daughter and I have certain behaviors.
Now that I am enlightened, I see people who are most likely Aspie everywhere and I have more compassion for their behaviors.
Thank you for this video. I have self diagnosed at age 53. As a child, I was sent to speech therapists with no answers. I struggled throughout my life, socially. Unexplained confusion and anxiety. I was actually researching ADHD, as my husband was diagnosed with that years earlier. As I explored related disorders, I was noticing aspergers traits and relating to a tee. My husband recognized it instantly. Explains so much of my limitations, characteristics and experience. I am not interested in official diagnosis. I am retired now and have managed to make it this far. Self awareness and self improvement or growth are essential in life no matter what we face. I do not like labels so much, as I think sometimes one can be encumbered by it and use it for an excuse instead of a tool to grow and succeed. Also, I do not care for the negative stigma that ignorant people attach to you. Thanks again for your time in helping others.
I'm 51 & relating to much of this, including the childhood speech therapist. I am in the process of being assessed for diagnosis. Tbh starting to open up to resources has already been life changing. I feel like I'm being set free by insight & understanding. It's also an emotional time for me ~ seeing my life through a new lense. It's a relief to find other people going through similar experiences and sharing them them. 🙏 Thank you for sharing yours
YAY for the German health system. I'm in the middle of diagnostics, and I don't have to pay a single penny for it. Not for psychotherapy either. On the down side, we do pay a lot of taxes, but that's OK with me, all things considered. I'm 34, female and self-diagnosed Aspie. I'm looking for closure (I was an outsider during my school years) and for coping mechanisms / help with comorbidities (depression, mental exhaustion, severe problems with sleeping).
Also, YES to the acceptance aspect. Nobody believes me, except those who know me VERY VERY well.
just one little question: where do you go when you want to get a diagnosis? So I am living in Germany, too. But I have absolutely no idea who to turn to when it comes to a topic like: Am I autistic? I can't talk to my parents about it and I am feeling very uncomfortable talking to my doctor about this. But I've always felt different and since I was little I was the one being bullied by others for strange behavior and I also had a lot of meltdowns and problems getting and keeping friends.
Do I have to make an appointment with a therapist? A doctor? I just don't know where to turn to and it's really frustrating because with me being 22 years old, I just really wanna know what's "wrong" with me and if there is a cause for my problems with social interaction and the impact it has on my mental health. I took the online test for self-diagnosing on a german autism website and I always score above 36, which is, when it comes to my friends, not that unexpected.
Would be interesting to know for me, where and who you've been gone to get a diagnosis. Thanks a lot :)
There’s a lot of wonderful progress in Germany in all sorts of social and political sectors.
In Germnay one has however to wait for long times to get an appointment. I first found out for a psychologist who told me she has a waitnig list of two years!! Fortunately I found another where I have to wait only three months . But it took quite a while until I found that. And this only for a preliminary first talk. The real thing will probably begin in five months.
Allotta Reading all at the cost of over half of your wage, so free, so awesome, SO progressive, to take over half of the citizens’ income
@@tttriple over half of your wage? Not sure what you heard about German health insurance - but for the standard health insurance (the one everyone is in automatically) it's 14-16% of (taxable) income - of which half is paid by the employer and half by the employee. So it's ~7-8% of your income. Private helath insurance is a different story - that can, indeed, get very, very expensive - but at times it has its perks. - I have no idea how expensive mental health related things are in Germany but it doesn't matter; it's covered and you don't have to worry if you can afford to get the help you need - you just get it. No need to take out a loan, no need to worry about going bankrupt, no need to set up a go fund me or something of the sort. Getting the help you need - big or small - when you need it and being able to carry on with your life as usual once you recovered is something I find pretty damn awesome.
This video, along with your previous 3-part story about your path to discovering you're on the spectrum, has helped me tremendously. I have been told multiple times by former classmates/boarding schoolmates and by close friends that I seem to be on the spectrum. Since my current therapist suggested it gently to me and told me it's not so bad to have it and would lead to me knowing better about certain social situations and issues I'm struggling with. Before that, my parents already sent me to get tested way back in my teenage years. Since I knew someone more affected on the spectrum, I looked it up and was aware of the diagnosis criteria and (sadly) successfully masked it to such a degree, they had to give me a clean slate and let me go. Back then, I absolutely didn't want to be on the spectrum. I thought it was just for "nutters" and I saw how the one boy in school was bullied because he spoke not so much. I could relate to him so much tho, I was one of the few who was friends with him, aka talked with him about our special interests, gaming.
Now I'm much older, I'm 30 now and I'm thinking... hmm, it'd be such a relief, you know? Knowing you're not wrong, it's just a different wiring of the brain, just like with the ADHD I've already got. This video reminded me of taking some steps beforehand, though, because of the con-list you showed. I need to get insurance for inability-to-work, since in Germany, you need to give all your previous diagnoses. I'm deaf and already got severe ADHD. Along with it, a mild form of depression was triggered (by of ADHD, its a typical comorbidity) but I'm stable enough to hold down a job and lead a satisfying life, since that's already being treated :) so it's already a big hurdle for me to get that specific insurance. But I really want and need it, because I saw it firsthand in my family what happens if you don't care enough about your future and all eventualities. So that's one of my priorities. After all this I will seek out an appointment for the diagnosis process. It's covered by our mandatory health insurance, so I'm not really worried about the costs. It's more about the length of the process it will take. Usually, the clinics and therapists have a waiting list ranging from 8 months up to two years until the first appointment. The testing itself is split in 3 parts, at my first one I "managed" to get out after the first round. All in all, the testing itself can last up to a year, depending on the availability of yourself and the health providers. So I'm preparing for a looooong wait... but it could help me a lot in the long shot since I might get more accommodations at my workplace tailored to the autism and more understanding of the higher-ups of my communication struggles. I already struggle with them a lot, but the autism and the ADHD make it even more complicated. Still, I want to be a part of society and continue to contribute to it 😊
I'm rambling again, so I'll stop here. Thank you so much for reading this. Have a good day or a good night, wherever you are, and stay healthy and happy! 😊
I had been dealing with depression and anxiety since my late teens (I am now 54), and I had been seeing my psychologist for 10 years on and off. For the last few years she had been saying she thought I could be ADHD, then a couple of years ago my daughter was officially diagnosed ASD (not Aspie) and when doing research I found a lot that ticked boxes for me. I spoke to my psych who did some tests and set me up with a psychiatrist who gave me a proper diagnosis for ASD - Aspergers and then earlier this year did the testing for ADHD which also came up positive.
Having the diagnosis means I can talk to people who *get* me, who know what it is like to think this way, do these things, have these fears and know that I am not weird, just different and that there are others like me. It has also helped me with dealing with DHHS as they used to get aggro because I didn't pick up on non-verbal cues when being given "advice" - ffs just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it... I am not a bloody mind reader!
There is is too many variables on this topic at this time, many people including psychologists are ignorant.
I found what was said at 5:15 very interesting and revealing about something I have been well aware of for decades. Shop around long enough and some psycho babbling fraud will eventually give you the diagnosis you want to hear. This is why there is misdiagnosis, because any psychiatric diagnosis depends on what the patient tells the doctor or psychologist. There is no blood test or scan to confirm a mental illness is present. Modern psychiatry is not based on sound reasoning or science and neither is the supposed treatment which often amounts to a chemical lobotomy in the worst and most tragic cases.
Too many variables eh? It's almost like someone has autism.
@@pauldarlington5589 I thought I heard somewhere that a DNA test can reveal potential abnormalities like that but I think those can be rather expensive.. or I'm misremembering.
Self diagnosed and not seeking "official" diagnosis. My reason being that I don't see any tangible benefit for my current needs. My sister suggested I might be autistic and I did loads of research. I went through a denial phase where I realized my unfortunate capacity for ableist discrimination. For what I was going through at the time, autism seems like the only reasonable explanation and I had to learn to let go of my judgemental nature and understand what autism really is. For a while, I felt I needed a proper diagnosis because I wanted to be able to tell everyone without feeling like a liar. Now I know that it doesn't line up with my true values. I don't trust the health care system in my country. Being a "high functioning" assigned female, I know that the effort outweighs the outcome for me. I want more than anything to be confident and proud in who I am. Plus, I can be incredibly stubborn and untrusting of authorities. I believe myself and I'm not going to let some undereducated doctor undermine my sense of self. I have spent enough time questioning my own worth that I'm not going to allow anyone the opportunity to make me doubt myself again.
Been a year since this comment was written but I wanted to thank you. I'm in the same boat right now and I thought it was "wierd" to not want an official diagnosis. It just 'clicked' recently so I'm still processing the whole thing but it feels good to see that I'm not alone.
Sincerely, thank you!
Yes.
I’m done going through “journeys of self-discovery”. They do no bit of damn good if they don’t lead to the truth. And if a diagnosis is the truth, then I need that diagnosis.
26 year old American male here - in August I was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum. Medicaid covered the costs of everything, at least for me and my situation(young, healthy,single, no children,independent, impoverished) The total process took me from October 2017-August 2018. Started in October with visiting a regular counselor, that snowballed into regular visits and after about 2 months she started talking to me about autism and recommended I consider testing. I did research and immediately felt I had found my tribe for the first time in my life. My counselor helped me find a psychologist to test with, one who specializes in Autism and trains PhD candidates. I got lucky. I had to wait from February until the end of May to start the testing process. I first did the ADOS in May, then in July I had three separate 3 hour appointments that involved interviews, testing activities, and questionnaires. It was a long and tiring process but worth it to me. I am fortunate enough to be poor enough to have Medicaid cover the entire process, I only paid for the gas to get to and from my appointments. I am fortunate enough to live in America!
Alex G did you get disability
"Definitely maybe" is good enough for me. From there it depends on the individual and their needs. I'm going to go forward with seeking a diagnosis bc I finally found a psychiatrist who communicates well with me and is a little quirky himself. Got diagnosed with ADHD, got meds, getting a little improvement there... but it is a lengthy process, so thank you for laying that out so plainly. (Also I do a really similar shoulder shrug thing all the time -- none of us are ever truly alone!) Thank you for your videos and all the information you have shared.
I got diagnosed recently by two trained mental health professionals and I'm 31. The biggest blessing to me has been that it has provided answers to why I behaved the way I did all these years.
here in 2020 // (I'm 20 years old), I've been teetering about getting an official diagnosis. I know I'm autistic but I know that my family won't believe me, but they believe the things I have diagnosis for. But after watching a this and the "Are you Autistic?" vids, I think my confidence in saying for myself that "Yes, I am autistic." is definitely boosted. I have a list of things I experience and was ready to hand that to my doctor to be like "please help me be diagnosed" but now.. I think it's just a good list to have because I have friends who I've shared the list with and they relate to. So thanks for the confidence boost in my own self diagnosis! 😊
It's June 2021 and I self diagnosed about a month ago. A situation arose where I felt my wife lacked empathy and challenged her to an online test. Eye opener. Subsequent research explained every single way I'm weird and I don't need validation. This knowledge has helped me tremendously. I'm becoming more conscious of what I say to people, throttling back my garage design/build projects that generally waste time and money, and working harder at masking. We either get very good at it or we live and die alone. I've learned that we have a super-power, the power to focus. It's not to be trifled with.
I was officially diagnosed by an autistic therapist but in the south of the U.S.A. one needs a PHD or MD to " officially" diagnose, not a Masters. Mine has a PHD but is amongst a group of autistic therapists debating the current diagnosis model used in the US. I am 54 and just this year learned I am autistic, ADHD and PTSD.
For 20+ years I was mis-diagnosed as Bipolar, had horrible reactions to every bipolar medicine given. My true diagnosis changed my life, epiphany after epiphany and my life finally made sense!
What about job opportunities?? Very difficult 😞 thanks for video ❤plus your funny too . Totally agree with u .
I am formally diagnosed with ADHD and learning that I have autism filled in all of the missing bits with my ADHD. I am 61 so I am still debating if a formal diagnosis is right for me. This is an excellent video and thank you for posting. Your content is amazing!
I am already under a doctor's care for depression anxiety and ptsd. I can talk w her about this.
Yes having to document this in health record. But I see everything ! I also thinking back about my mom now I'm wondering about her. She was a very accomplished woman in science and creative arts.
Thank you for this video, this encourages me to seek a proper diagnosis.
For the three years, I've seen two therapists. They both lean towards BPD, while recognizing patterns and behaviors consistent with Asperger's, and yet my research over the topic has informed me that many people ultimately diagnosed with AS, had initially been misdiagnosed with BPD.
Self-diagnosing, and declaring so has damaged my relationship with a family member because they insisted the the me they know has always been consistent with the NT condition when I insist I've masked all this time, insist
ing they don't know the me that cannot sustain prolonged suppression of uncommon behaviour, inconsistent with the NT condition.
This person went as far as saying I was looking for a diagnosis as a licence to dismiss bad behaviour.
Thankful, there have been people who have been more receptive, like my mother who also displays characteristics of AS, but has never gone so far as to consider it for herself, and my aunt, who has a daughter (the youngest of 3) with an official Autism diagnosis.
Paul - thank you for your insights. Just double-tested / "unofficially diagnosed" about 2 years ago, at age 51. I think either way, it's a double-edged sword. Like some have said here, they may not have accomplished as much as they have in life if they knew earlier on. I agree with that. Growing up in the 70s, we were just "freaks" or "spazzes". Yes it hurt to be persecuted and outcast. But for me it galvanized me to become a better person. I know I've employed an array of masking and coping strategies throughout my life to not only get by, but excel in many cases. Married almost 28 years, 5 children, full-time employed for the vast majority of that time. But...now knowing the truth, I'm at peace. I've got a peace and understanding about myself that I never had, and it is priceless, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Initially in denial, I had almost a "life flashing before my eyes" experience as the truth sunk home. Recounting innumerable experiences from earliest childhood forward. I don't use it as a crutch or excuse, but as an explanation. I can so much better explain to my spouse how I'm feeling and why, ahead of time, to avoid big arguments and blow-ups. Keep up your good work, you are helping and making a difference!
I recently discovered that my parents were informed by my elementary school to get me tested and they only got me tested for ADHD. It was the year 2000 though and I’m a woman. So it was practically a guarantee that I was going to get misdiagnosed as both ADHD and Autism were considered male dominant disorders for a long time. As an adult, I started digging into autism out of pure curiosity as I am prone to just jump down research rabbit holes whenever it strikes me. Things started clicking at that point. I’m not someone who believes in self-diagnosis for any condition. I won’t begrudge anyone who prefers to self-diagnose because of financial or time reasons though. I’m just someone who needs things to be concrete. I brought up my research to my therapist and she looked like a lightbulb went off in her head too so I decided to get myself on a waitlist. Even if it’s not autism, I’m hoping I can speak with the psychiatrist about other possibilities of what could be happening.
I have a new friend with two daughters on the spectrum and she thought that I might be too. I did some research and based on my life experience I think she's right. I don't really want an official diagnosis but more knowledge on how to go forward and live the best life I can. Everything is compounded with an abusive childhood that means I often respond inappropriately in stressful situations. I'm 65 and retired so employment is not a concern but trying to develop an art career and knowing I'm possibly aspie will help me going forward. Excellent channel thank you.
Read up, as many books as you can. Learning what it means and how it affects the way you think, behave, even just feel - all that will help you going forward. Getting a formal diagnosis qualified me to 6 months of one to one treatment with a therapist who was highly specialised and experienced in Aspergers. Those sessions were fantastic and nicely paced as I had a small amount of homework every week. I think I can say what I learned about myself was a game changer.
Thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into all your videos, Paul. Lots of people say they don't like labels, however I feel they help you to understand and know yourself better plus predict future issues ahead of time. I'm an INTJ and self diagnosed Aspie and yeah I've been agonising over the decision in regards to a formal diagnosis. I'm afraid I could lose my career as a result. Oh and I had a pretty volatile bullying incident at work last week that took me totally off guard and caused me great anxiety. I'd left a comment on your bullying video about how I aim to pre empt other people's behaviour so I can deal with them effectively and not let nasty, aggressive people walk all over me but this time it didn't make any difference and I just wanted you to know that because I may have come across as arrogant. ✌💜
No worries. Glad you appreciate it :)
Keep in mind if you are a temp visa holder and not a citizen, and get diagnosed autistic, you can have your visa cancelled because you are considered a burden on the system. (Even if you never use the system). This will also be an issue if you want to apply for a permanent visa in another country. Autism (Even high functioning) is considered a disability in many countries including Australia and they will deny you a visa to live there (you can still travel of course, just not reside). So that is something to consider as well, before getting an official diagnosis (you must disclose).
It's funny because you are the exact same person, it's just you have a label attached which makes you either worthwhile or worthless in the eyes of immigration. I would think more aspies would be beneficial to a country, given their aptitude for technical problem-solving and outside-of-the-box thinking. In the words of Ned Kelly "Such is life"
Thank you for this!!!
Yeah this is beyond stupid & messed up... and I never would have suspected this to be the case in some countries! Your info will save many of us from lots of pain & turmoil.
I wanted to just know to understand myself better
The timing of finding this video is priceless! 54 y/o female self diagnosed a few months ago after stumbling upon autism as summarizing my entire lifetime experience. ASD assessment appointment tomorrow morning and didn't think I'd feel nervous, but I'm a jumble of dis-regulated nerves. Blessed with insurance coverage; yet, the outcome seemed so heavy bc dismissed my entire life. Until your video made me realize I know my truth whether a stranger/psychologist validates it. Thank you! I can breathe again tonight.
I'm a 40 year-old woman, second language teacher and literature researcher. I had some difficulties to start working when i was young, but nowadays it's wonderful the way i feel i offer the students new ways to think and learn language (i have ideal conditions, not more than 15 students for class, adult students, not noisy place, and i can control all the things in the environment of the classroom, as lights, sounds, if i need it). I really would like to get a official diagnosis in the next years. I've known about Asperger this year, when i was searching some ways to help some of my students. But It was a great surprise. It was absolutely chocking for me something which could explain my behavior, my difficulties, my sensibility for light, sounds, colors, smells, and overcrowded places. It was very important to realize i was not simply "weird", (as somme people always told me), but only different, i have a different system, i maybe feel the world in a different way. I felt i was not alone, there were others like me. But i think a diagnosis in my case could not help in work, because there is a lot of prejudice involving autism and Asperger, people really don't know these conditions, and some directors or coordinators could simply not employ a teacher with this "label", because of other false labels this could come together. I would not open this in work places. But i really would like to get the official diagnosis, for me, for my family, mainly to understand family's and friendship's issues. (sorry for my english, it is not my best foreign language). Thank you for this video!
soyviboe what age did you start working and how were you able to to find your place and overcome the struggles that stopped you?
@Daring Greatly84 I've had a lot of short time contracts and temporary jobs, since i was 25. i was not always happy and i've abandoned things sometimes, and i was many times felling misunderstood, mainly when i needed to do political and social negociation. I think i was depressed for many times and I've been unemployed many times too, sometimes both together (i had no psychologic support, neither knew about asperger, it would help me a lot, i'm sure). After my 35 i think things started to flow, very slowly but better. As i followed an academic carreer it helped me, because i've had many choices., i've tryed different field inside my language and litterature mainly field, edition, translation, teaching literature, researching, teaching language... there were moments when some of them were my special interest, other i hated. i think everything would be better if i knew a.s. before. My place i've found very recently, less than 2 year ago, through some real friends network,.so i had an intervew and i think i was really me, correct, methodical, but soft, i asked things and small details of the job, the boss liked my answers too and nowadays she likes my work. I feel very happy with what i do, but i know it's only the beginning and i have to be always renewing my points me to be interested. I suggest people always follow something that makes them curious. I realy think aspies can be excellent teachers of the interest they love and know very well, if they can find their very interested students, and the boss who can see the potencial.
' it can give you a sense of certainty that you're not crazy, you're not alone - finding other community members ' 👏👏 👏
This is absolute GOLD! It's giving us the prerequisites to better choose where to go from here.
Especially those whom are just now learning that they're indeed ASD (especially those who found out late in life!)
I'm very grateful for you,
KUDOS and Immensely Obliged!
(35y/o with recent ASD discovery, mother of 3.)
Im self diagnosed at 46 and have felt like a failure all of my life for not being able to keep friendships and jobs. It is so frustrating and Ive also struggled with depression a good bit. I just wish I could at least find a line of work that I can do. I am highly creative and artistic but the thought of going into work at a company is so upsetting. Ive tried starting a flower design business but the going out and trying to land corporate clients has been almost impossible for me. The whole not fitting in is a big part pf the problem. I live in a smaller town and it is very cliquey. I am the odd one out, but I do really beautiful work. I am also a graphic designer. And am really good in academia doing research. I have thought about going back to school to get a masters in something that interests me. I got married thinking that I wouldn't be able to support myself and then married an abusive man. We are now divorced after four years of hell. I wish I could find my way. I feel like I need help. I have no family.
Have you found a way to do work as a graphic designer? Getting started is so difficult when you don't know how to do it (or are unable to reach out). Such a simple thing for many people is like climbing a mountain for others. I'm still climbing that mountain, hoping to reach the top. I feel the (online) opportunities are there.
Also aspie women are most likely to marry abusers/psychopaths. Take care of yourself
I relate re not being able to keep jobs etc it’s been a bloody struggle being me 😕🙄 and it’s only dawning on me I’m on the spectrum slap bang in there🤷♀️
Self diagnosed at 25. Tnx man. There are still days when I struggle but my life makes much more sense now why I do certain things. Even to this day.
I'm self-diagnosed and going back and forth: do I want to seek an official diagnosis or not?
What's making me more hesitant is that I ran the gaunlet, from doctor to doctor, for *years* when I was seeking a diagnosis for my ever increasing health problems. I was told that I was making it up, that it was all in my head, that I was exaggerating, that I had hypochondria... I went to a therapist for a few years because I thought they were right, before my health just crashed completely and an MRI showed that I had lots of lesions in my brain. Cue a couple of tests, and presto: I was not making it up - I have multiple sclerosis.
And if *that* is the reaction I get for something that can be proven with an MRI and a spinal tap, what is going to be the reaction when I'm trying to get a diagnosis for something like autism? I kind of expect the same reactions from doctors, only ten times worse.
Also, in regards to the problem that an official diagnosis might not be accepted by friends or family, or that it might not change things:
Again, compared to my MS diagnosis: even after I could point to a piece of paper and say: see, I have MS, there is a reason for this and this and this, I got (and get) lots of reactions like "Oh, everybody is tired sometimes" (when MS fatigue compares to 'tired' like a raging, blinding migraine compares to a mild headache) or "Can't you just pull yourself together for a couple of hours?" (on days when I'm struggling to get up and function on the most base level). It's gotten better, ironically, since I need a cane to walk.
There are lots of reactions that suggest that I'm exaggerating, and I don't think I could take the reactions when I add "Hey, folks, I have autism!" to the mix...
Diagnosing myself, finally trusting my feeling that yes, this is it, this is what I've been feeling all of these years, this is why I've been struggling, this is why I studied human interaction like a foreign language, was such a relief, it made me giddy.
I'm an expert at masking, I think. On most days, I can run through my scripts and pass as normal, if maybe a bit annoying and prone to obessive hobbies. That won't make it easier to get accepted as autistic among my family and friends, because when they think of autism, they think "Rain Man".
My husband doesn't need a diagnosis to believe me. When I dared to tell him for the first time I might be on the spectrum, he was not just *not* surprised, he seemed one step ahead of me.
"It meant I wasn't crazy, it meant I wasn't alone." This is the one big thing I found post diagnosis was finding online support groups and finding out that it wasn't just me; that there were others like me who experienced the world the way I experienced it.
I've not been officially diagnosed and being female it's difficult but even my mum and family members all said they suspected I have autism but didn't bother getting official diagnosis cause it was mild and as a adult I learnt how to deal with it. Thank you for this as a adult and a child now who has autism (going through official diagnosis) but made me think he may have it cause I have it but I don't see the point now of official diagnosis as I already have a medical official diagnosis of multiple sclerosis which already impacting my life but I pretty much self diagnosed myself as autistic I still have a lot of flags of it but the time, energy and money etc doesn't sound appealing to me especially having a autistic child and MS can't do all the travelling and can't afford it thank you and even with self diagnosed I do feel better knowing all my odd behaviours have a name behind it
Hi "undiagnosed" adult female aspie here. I definitely recognize the challenge keeping your eyes on the camera. Sometimes you look straight at it, but it seems easier when you look away. I have to struggle to make eye-contact unless I am EXTREMELY comfortable with someone.
Thanks, this was helpful. Side note: it’s interesting to me that in your description you say ‘I know I dont look autistic’, because throughout the video I was very at ease with how you broke eye contact frequently, played with the ball, fidgeted etc. It made me feel i could ‘unmask’ more and be more comfortable watching (I feel less need to mask around/seeing other autistic ppl). At least to me a first-time watcher and superficial witness, you do appear autistic. I watch a lot of youtubers and many look straight at the camera the whole time. It is very unsettling. Then again, i am familiar with autistic people and have researched it so I know the ‘tells’.
Wow this video is major GOLD. And the comments are too. Thank you, Paul.
I'll definitely be buying you a few coffees in the new year to offer what tangible appreciation I can for all you do.
I'm scared to get an official diagnosis because of my future career in nursing and the medical field in general. I do not want to experience the ridicule or possibility of not receiving a job due to my medical diagnosis and maybe being required to disclose it.
Luckily I am receiving accommodations at my college for test taking with my diagnosis of ADHD and the fact that my counselor believes me and knows I'm not interested in getting a diagnosis.
How did it go?
No employer in the US will ever ask u about your mental or emotional diagnoses. No one will ever ask u to disclose this. The only exception would be in government military, intelligence work I would imagine.
If you’re an adult who went to college and graduated and are having a hard time keeping a job and you’re constantly having to depend on your siblings to support you financially you should definitely get yourself diagnose and get the therapy that’s available they could help you with job placement picking out the right career and Social Security disability. If your having a hard time with life with supporting yourself with communication you should definitely get diagnoses.
U have been watching these videos and can see so much if myself in them. I am 60 years old and know j need to do now. Thank you for helping me. I wish I had seen these before
In order to recieve any kind of government assistance you'll need a diagnosis from an licensed doctor.
I’ve got many autistic traits, tho I failed getting a positive diagnosis by about 3 marks.
I literally didn’t learn to socialise until I left high school and I still suck at it
I stumbled upon your "25 questions" video in April, and decided to watch it because my sister said on two occasions in the past that she thought I had Aspergers. I really didn't believe her, but wanted at least to know what she was talking about. I was quite surprised when I understood she was probably right. The more videos I watched, from you and others, the more confirmation I got. Earlier this month (June) I went to my physician and told my suspicion, and now I have three appointments in the next two months at the center for adult autism in my county. I'm laid off because of the crisis now in 2020, so I've got plenty of time for this kind of thing. It's also part of the public health services in Norway, so what's to pay is merely symbolic. I do struggle a bit with not having a diagnosis from professionals, so I'm quite happy that it turns out to be rather quick and easy to get it in my case. I also think this can open some more doors in the future.
PRO: I'm in college and get more time in exams and other help (e.g. can do a written task instead of a presentation/group task).
CON: I'm trying to get a sleep-related problem diagnosed for some time now, or at least help for it, but so far it only gets shoved aside ('not my area, maybe go to X' meaning more waiting for an appointment at the next doctor's office) or put into the autism box. One young doc just heard my diagnosis and basically stopped listening, as if EVERY problem you could possibly have must be because you're autistic, and that's it. No help, no tests, no questions. It's incredibly tiring and made the whole endeavour very emotionally charged, which it didn't need to be.
I admire people WAY smarter then me as long as they are at least somewhat humble . I like learning from people who have walked down paths of pain . I relate to that sort of thing . "With much wisdom comes much grief " "in all your getting get Wisdom...She is the principal thing "
Self Diagnosis: watching dozens to hundreds of YT videos of various disorders trying to figure out which one fits you best, then finding that the Aspie videos suddenly make every aspect of your life from early childhood through the current day suddenly fall into place and make sense in a way you had always wished things would make sense.
After that, if you find incredible comfort listening to and talking to other Aspie's where you absolutely don't with other neurotypical people; it's like being set free from a prison, whether a doctor opened the door or you opened it yourself.
' the diagnosis doesn't actually change anything... that can be dangerous: there is still quite a stigma around autism... it's really important to have support around you '
Thank you. It is a very well balanced chart that helps put the pros and cons into perspective.
You're welcome. Glad you like it :)
I’m getting evaluated soon and I love watching you talk because you talk so much like me! Like the way you look away and think and gesture with your hands, and the rhythm of how you stop to think when you talk
Thank you for this video. I'm 61 and just discovered I'm 'likely' on the spectrum. I will not seek an official diagnosis. There is no need, for me, to spend time and effort that can be used learning how to use these traits in a practical way. I no longer beat myself up for being different. Just knowing the reason for it, has cleared up so many questions. I already have an excellent support system in my life. Time to move forward in a positive direction.
I’ve been going to therapy for years and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder and borderline personality disorder. A couple months ago my mother came across a video about a priest being diagnosed with asperger syndrome as an adult. She then researched it a lot and eventually told me about it because she thought that maybe I had it. After like a day of research I thought that maybe she was right. A couple weeks later I brought it up at therapy and my therapist completely dismissed it. She is very experienced with bipolar and bpd as well as autism. But I believe that her only idea of autism stems from experience with children that are on the opposite side of the spectrum as I would be
Had so many friends as me if I was aspy…. I’m a rather muscular man so it’s only those that I’ve interacted with over time have pointed it out. Your video has confirmed their suspicions. Thank you for telling my life stories. I finally get why I’ve always loved being with groups of girls. And how similar muscles can be to dreadlocks…
I think im super duper lucky that the therapist i see every week or two can diagnose me... Its just... Getting the confidence to talk to her about it
Last year I was speaking to a client. She is a psychologist, and after talking to her for around 10 minutes she piped up and bluntly asked if I’d been diagnosed with Asperger’s. I disregarded what she said until recently when I decided to research the subject and WOW, what a revelation! I did every single online test and every single one scored me highly probable for Asperger’s. I have been reading all sorts of articles and testimonies and it was like reading about my own life and all the struggles I’ve had since childhood. Many are verbatim of my own experience in having to mask the symptoms to fit in. I a lucky that I work by myself and for myself so many of the issues some have to deal with don’t apply to me. But the symptoms, experiences in social settings and general behaviour are a mirror to my own life. It has been an enormous challenge to accept this as I always thought of Asperger people to somehow be retarded, but I have a near genius level IQ so it didn’t occur to me that I might have it. Now that I know much more about it there is a peace I feel that has evaded me for most of my life.
I have an appointment to see a mental health specialist this week to look at the need to either get or not get a clinical diagnosis.
A formal diagnosis might have helped me in hight school and college. But I'm 62, retired from a technical job due to a disability, and a professional diagnosis would not be worth the cost. I'm self-diagnosed, by way of life history, available Aspie online tests- even looking at differential diagnoses. My wife basically said "ah, you're autistic- that explains it", lol. She works in health care, and hasn't the prejudices and misunderstandings so common with others.
Who do I see for help. I don't care so much as getting diagnosed with aspergers but I want my life to change and improve. I'm 29 and I have no friends, social anxiety, and never had a girlfriend. I'm absolutely sick of suffering.
When I watched a TED Talk, I was frozen in time, the lightbulb went on. I. Found. Me.
I have panic/anxiety, ADHD, bipolar, PTSD, etc. My therapist is referring me to an Autism therapist, however he told me that he doesn't see it in me and that's disheartening. I cannot afford anything right now, I haven't been able to work because my body won't pretend like it used to and I loose my medical in June because I cannot work. I need to find support systems.
If you're a female it's essential you get somebody very experienced in adult female Aspergers. I saw a clinical psychologist for 22 sessions and he never caught on to it.
Hi. Im a newcomer to your channel. Atm the wealth of resources is a little overwhelming to me, but I wanted to say I am thankful you're sharing in this way & offering opportunities to people to share and make connections. ✨️
I think you are a huge inspiration! I believe people like you are brilliant and gifted. Blessings to you.
For me a diagnosis gives me permission to freely be whatever I am. No one can argue with me that I don't have it anymore because I know if they are going to disregard my research and the expertise of a psychologist then that is completely on them. I don't have to doubt myself. It's self-affirming self-protection.
You have saved my life after so much sruggle months of watching most of your more known videos now i have a diagnoses in a month and have enough to cover it. Youre and inpiring person thanks for speaking out this topic so nicely put and organized i have so much more insight now i was not satisfied with my ADD diagnoses even though i know its possible to be aspie and ADD i just felt i had to get a diagnoses for autism because sadly i still have overstimluation and burnout and breakdowns and its time i reached out for help but i would probably never seen that i can also be semi functional after being depressed all last summer and not enjoying anything this fall ive been enjoying my life watching good animated movies not watching scary movies and voilent action movies has helped my mind going outdoors fishing and seeing that i am not weird or an outcast just very depressed so proud to be here still and not suffering as much being open to the idea that i might be aspie or just ADD or both has helped my life my mental health so much coming from poverty and hispanic culture being autistic or just ADD is seen as an excuse to not work or make a living or connections its not impossible anymore i got so much weight off my shoulders 😅❤
You are so soft and full of light and easy to understand. I see you have 99.9 k, hope you reach 100k👍🙌👏
yeah my main problem aside from money is being misdiagnosed as bipolar, being that i'm female there's a good chance that'll happen
I self diagnosed as a side effect of being friends with a psychology student; I took all her tests for fun, sometimes I even read the books they used. It never occurred to me, that reading a non-fiction book a week was a bit of an overkill.
Since I could not believe the diagnosis I went on to have more tests and consume more specialized literature. And then I decided to ignore the results, because I simply couldn't believe them and my life was working just fine. Of course, I also concluded that psychology had to be hogwash...
Fast forward a couple of years, after several badly broken relationships I sought refuge in reading and found the old books again; suddenly it all made sense: my mother always accused me of being a loner, my younger siblings said that I was "odd" my gfs said that I was sometimes hard as slab of steel, which I assumed was sort of a compliment, turns out, it wasn't...
It all made sense, all of it!
I have great respect for psychology now, I had therapy, I take measures anticipating events...
My friend went on to earn her degrees, she's a therapist now...
I made it trough college, have a good job...still enjoy living alone...
My little nephew is autistic, my brother even mentioned once: "he's just like you when we were little",
my brother has a very hard time copping with it...
Thanks for this video, I hope it helps other who weren't as lucky as I was
Thank you
Great video
You are so good at explaining this topic and do it so well with so much kindness and gentleness, thank you!!
But does treatment actually help with social interactions? Do they have a plan of action? Otherwise what's the point in sitting around talking about it?
Aunty Ro Knows ...Sitting around talking about it IS a treatment for social enhancement...
For one, knowing your limitations is useful in overcoming them, whether in professional, social, intimate areas
Also, if you trust your employer or live somewhere with legal protections, it could literally save your livelihood
No but watching these videos and seeing how other people respond in social interations helps. Knowing your not the only one. Finding easier ways to coop and not over exhausting yourself.
Exactly
I won't get myself diagnosed, I just freaking now that I have a form of Autism.
Not related soley to this video but I want to express my warmest thank you for the wealth of insight and facts you provide me and the community with. I’ve met no professional who knows and/or understand the neurodivergent experience like you do. 💐🤗
IMHO: As an "adult (over age 21yrs.) and you have difficulty in keeping a job, you may want to secure a diagnosis. It could be helpful. Once you have that you may/or may not tell your employer.
makes sense. I don't believe it's mandatory to tell an employer (for most jobs at least).
I think official diagnosis could help the employer watch some mishaps through fingers after knowing about you having aspergers. They might also be more understanding if you don’t pick up some possible social cues or figure of speech. Just some thoughts, haven’t had experience about this in real employment situations, haven’t disclosed my condition in any workplace yet. Although my job is such that it fits me fine. Much of independent work.
the ‘official diagnosis’ is the only type of diagnosis you can notify your employer of?
It's medical information protected by HIPAA laws. Only you have the power to share it with anyone. They finally have allowed mental health to be a part of physical health. Why it was ever not considered health is a topic for another time.
Dont tell the employer because they will not hire you or find every reason to fire you and they can make it look like it's not prejudice by just saying "your not right for this position" or not calling to affirm that you got the job to begin with.
Very much appreciate your work...…….....I am a senior in the US...……….....you ROCK! xxx
This is exactly what I have been debating. I am a senior adult male and retired. I worked for a government agency and had jobs where I could work pretty much the w't'gay I wanted to. I put a lot of energy in the work and got rewarded for it. I have all the symptoms of the syndrome but I tend to hind them when in front of people. Therefore I have this urge when around people to get away by myself so that I can act out some of the symptoms. If I don't get away, I become very angry and will pick a fuss just to end the contacts. Back to this point which I digressed from which shows one of the systems. LOL But I don't actually need a diagnosis for work reasons. But sometimes think it would be good to pull out a document and show those that have doubts. It might help if you have trouble with the law or those in authority where you exhibited the behaviours and was misunderstood. I have no idea where to even start if I decided to do that. Also, for mental evaluations by professionals, does the information have to be reported to others. Is it on file somewhere. I would like to have the choice to divulge it or not. I don't have any personal reason to have it. I know I have had it since birth and have kept it quite all this time.
John Lee hi I'm senior woman with similar circumstances I don't see a benefit for official diagnosis at this point
Similar circumstances as me, now a 69-year-old woman. As I learned about Asperger's Syndrome, I knew my brother and my father had the syndrome. They were the reason I was interested. I couldn't quite tell if I had Asperger's according to the symptoms lists I came across, but I was curious. By age 65 I was having memory and thinking problems, fearing I would follow in my father's Alzheimer's footsteps.
My neurologist referred me to the psychology department of a nearby university for testing, two full days of very thorough testing. It turned out to be an IQ test which disappointed me; I wanted to know what was wrong, not how smart I was. However, I was shocked at the high scores; I always thought I was just average or below. Goes back to being female during a time before the advent of women's rights and respect as well as knowing I was somehow "different" from others.
I pursued a formal diagnosis for several reasons. The first was that it would offer a label/explanation for my brother, his son and my father that they would not have to pay for; they are all more severe than me. Second, I gratefully had Medicare after 4 decades of paying for ever more expensive individual health policies coupled with a supplemental policy that paid for everything Medicare didn't; basically "free" health care. So it cost me almost nothing. Third, it would not affect my business/livelihood; my many long-time clients wouldn't care. Fourth, looking at growing elderly, I wanted caregivers to understand that I was different and how different so that maybe I'd be treated more appropriately. Even all of the medical community needs to know how I am different.
I sought a diagnosis from a neuropsychologist in town who mostly assessed children for school reasons. It was just a few computerized tests one day in conjunction with the university's report. He said he was convinced I had very high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome; I still wonder. Though he didn't test for ADHD, he said I probably had that, too (my daughter and grandson do). I know I also have face blindness (prosopagnosia) and a photographic memory. The former exacerbated socializing beyond the usual Asperger's difficulties; the latter allowed me to excel in my work to have a solid career.
I guess my high IQ allowed me to observe and imitate "normal" people long and accurately enough to get through meetings and brief encounters, ready to offer gracious excuses for any oddness they might perceive (extremely exhausting!). The rest of the time I was happiest to be alone. Luckily, for whatever reason, I have never felt lonely; it seems an awful thing that makes people make poor decisions sometimes. I'm glad it's missing in me.
thought i’d share a bit of my story as i am getting so so much out of reading other peoples’…. (thank you guys.) so hi. as of very recently, i’ve self-identified as being autistic as i’ve self-identified as being a human being. there’s just no doubt in my heart and mind. for this reason, amongst a few others, i haven’t thought seriously about getting a medical diagnosis for more than a second or two. i’ve been (mis-)diagnosed with this and that over the years (depression, (social)anxiety, bpd, adhd, ocd) that have never felt “right” to me and have only served to confuse and debilitate my sense of self even further…. that now that i feel on my own so incredibly sure of this one thing about myself, i almost feel the need to treasure it inwardly and tell nobody at all (who i know, eg. my family, friends if i ever make them, doctors), and most definitely not allow anyone else the space to make me feel so small and unsure, or unclaimed, like a sad little alien child in one’s own brain. i don’t even know what i’m saying or if it makes sense. but, it is what it is hahah. this is how i strongly feel about this right now, at least. (at age 25)
if anyone cares to read… i’ll explain how i came about the “great realization”…. after visiting my mom recently while she was watching the show “love on the spectrum” it eventually brought about some oddly unexpected comments about how she has always told her coworkers and such that she has 4 children, 2 of which are “high functioning” autistic. and she told me it was me and my brother that she was referring to. weird moment. hardly knew what she was talking about at that time. further told me about how various old school teachers of mine would contact her letting her know that. i gotta be honest. my first reaction and current reaction is some sort of shock or hurt, especially after looking into it all extremely intensively and clarifying within myself that it couldn’t be more true. although i’ve always despised labels (so i guess i can’t blame her haha), but to put it very short, it would’ve saved me years and years of “beating myself up” quite literally for being a certain way, or not being a certain way, or whatever. i just have so so so much more gentle patience and understanding towards myself now, and even forgiveness during certain situations. anyways, another weird moment was realizing what my grandma meant… she has always called me “her little aspie” that i never really questioned what she meant, it just became an endearing sort of every now and again nickname (my grandma is also my best friend fyi). but recently-ish, maybe 5 or so years ago i did ask what she meant and she had told me something like “you most definitely have aspergers dear, i sure hope you don’t mind me calling you that!” and i just remember not really thinking much of it. just simply said “hah! no i don’t. you’re funny grandma.” :) (esp after she said it was “a form of autism” and the stigma or stereotypes for that wasn’t/isn’t so accurate most times especially for females) also, we would often joke that grandma will never ‘lose her marbles’ because she’s never had them, in the most loving way of course. her personality is wild. it’s the best. but she is intelligent and we all know it (she was a medical health professional herself), we’d never call her ‘dumb’ so to speak, just ‘crazy’, very very crazy. :) anyways. rambling on about my favourite person.
but yeah, to conclude, i won’t be stressing myself over an official diagnosis whatsoever because to me personally it’s as simple as this, i believe myself over somebody else at this point, in terms of being told who i am. (especially since i have not always been the best at providing professionals the inside information needed to properly come to a diagnosis, oh yes i take full responsibly for that.) also, i no longer have the same self-detrimental issues that i’ve had my entire life so i don’t feel the need for treatment to be entirely honest. no more suicide attempts and empty voids, and that is all simply thanks to finding and getting to know Jesus. praise King Jesus, seriously… but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY.
Could you make the chart that is behind you available as a pdf? Or put it on screen by itself so people could focus on the chart for a bit?
It is not just about getting "an official diagnosis" but really about not knowing. In my case, I guess I have some traits similar to people on the spectrum, but I have no idea whether they would put myself firmly within the spectrum or whether I am still outside, even though I have some traits. So for me this would be an open investigation without a defined end result. I just feel that "self diagnosis" isn't really a thing. I am no mental health professional, I have no idea, how pronouced a trait has to be to count etc.
I will know for sure in about 3 months. That is when they have promised me the diagnosis.. I am in the UK so it was free, but my initial appointment with a doctor was in May 2017...
Have you been diagnosed yet?
I was hoping to learn more about disability help from the state. Employment has usually been a nightmare for me and emotionally exhausting. The main reason I would go get a positive diagnosis would be to help me financially. I also have an artificial hip and need a knee replacement, which forced me to stop working at the only job I was doing well at and got along with everyone at, because I couldn't carry heavy boxes of food up and down their stairs anymore. I have worked at Loaves and Fishes occasionally, but I'm exhausted from the constant stress over 53 years and I need a break..
' often getting a final decision [a yes/no diagnosis] helps with the process [of self-acceptance] ... coming to terms.with that reality can be made a lot easier' 👏👏👏
' If you have a firm diagnosis, it can make that process [of initial self-denial] go through a lot quicker' 👏👏👏
' getting my diagnosis was really helpful in my life - it meant that I wasn't crazy and it meant that I wasn't alone ' 👏 👏 👏
' a diagnosis is not the be-all and end-all ' 👏👏 👏
' whether you have one or not [I.e. a diagnosis], there's lots of other stuff you can be doing - learning about yourself; learning about autism; learning about others; seeking support from family or friends, psychologists or ... all of that kind of stuff doesn't hinge on whether or not you have a diagnosis... so, I would definitely recommend that if you are looking to do some selfl-improvement , to learn more about yourself or just keep going down this path of asking yourself 'Am I on the autistic spectrum?' , then keep going with that path ' 👍
Aspie self-enlightenment 👍
🕯 🧘♀️ 🕯 🧘♀️ 🧘♀️ 🧘♀️ 🕯
When I was in college, I saw the school psychologist because I wanted verification as to whether I was on the spectrum or not. He wanted to talk to my parents for a formal diagnosis, and I wasn't comfortable with that. He did say at the end of our meeting that I most likely had Aspergers. That was good enough for me to feel comfortable calling myself an Aspie.
Just watching this is making me feel so happy. The system in the UK is not fit for purpose and if like you say your family is scathing, then you don't have a chance of a diagnosis. You just have to count your gifts.
self diagnosed - Its certainly set me on a path of understanding myself better - so even if its false - I KNOW and RESPECT and feel valid in my responses to my world more than ever... the only benefit would be outside validation - but Im not sure I need it so much anymore.. or its necessary. A few years ago - when I first suspected a lot of folks I enquired with were lke "we only diagnose kids, why bother? who cares?" and it was really expensive, and I used to tour theatre shows - so time...
the diagnosis 'allowed me to be confident identifying as an Aspie and [confident in] talking to others without fear about whether I am or whether I'm not [an Aspie] ... an official diagnosis could confirm that within yourself ... having a diagnosis can give you a clearer path forward [like] 'Great, I'm on the spectrum. What next?' ' 👍
great video. I finally figured out my elder mom has aspergers. explains SO much!
I am wondering if my mother had that now, as well as maybe myself
(Oh my gosh you collect dolls too? I haven't been able to in years. Husband didn't approve and no money now with divorce and all).
Hi Paul, you make a lot of sense in this video. Actually all of your videos that I’ve seen so far have been very empowering and revelatory. Thank you for making them. I live in rural Victoria so we don’t have the services that are available in the city. You mention asd or Aspergers to a GP around here and they simply roll their eyes and switch off. I would really appreciate it if you could inbox me about Aspergers Victoria and the name of the psychologist you saw. Both my partner and I are clearly aspie but trying to get any sort of help out here is so hard it’s really discouraging. Anyway, regardless, keep up the great work. We really appreciate what you are doing. You probably don’t know how much positive effect your work has around the world, but you have certainly had a profound impact upon my life. Cheers
Thank you for your videos! I have been suffering from Complex PTSD and have been recently noticing a lot of my symptoms seem to line up with Nuero-diversity. I am seriously debating whether or not to get tested. Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you for sharing who you really are with us. I know how difficult that can be!
I'm in an interesting situation. I'm 36 and have Duchenne muscular dystrophy. I was diagnosed (with DMD) at age 3 and I'm in a wheelchair, use a ventilator to breath 24/7, and I now use my computer with eye-tracking or eye-gaze technology. It's a progressively worsening condition, so I was not in a wheelchair until age 7. BUT my sister and I both think I, she and quite a few relatives on my mum's side are on the autism spectrum. The thing is a lot of people who work as carers, and also friends put my social difficulties down to being disabled and not getting out and having experiences, even blaming me and my family for not trying hard enough. And the disability rights movement, while having good intensions causes many of these people to think "he's just a normal person, but he's disabled". I say things like "I don't feel like a normal person" and people say I shouldn't let my disability stop me. And I tell them that's not what I mean. They all say that I'm not autistic, I'm making excuses, and I say that I went to a special school for physically disabled kids, and I felt different from even THEM. And sometimes I'm not sure who's right about the cause of my social awkwardness. I'm rather confused and I realise that when you have probable autism AND another disability people just don't get it. People used to think I wanted to be normal just like other kids and that's why I was not happy, but I never really wanted to be a "normal kid". I don't like my physical condition, but I don't want to be socially normal, because I like to be a bit weird. Should I get an official diagnosis? I don't know