I have a handful of chronic illnesses, daily life is so debilitating and intimacy is hard when you're constantly in pain. Being supportive is a must if you're dating someone with medical issues.
I just want to help her. She's a beautiful soul, but sometimes I feel so helpless and I feel like I don't do a good enough job even though I'm trying so hard. I love her though, and I'm learning how to handle these situations better
My biggest trouble has been dealing with the guilt that comes with being upset/sad when plans change suddenly, and then I am informed it’s due to my partner’s chronic illness. I’ve been getting better, both with being more understanding but also allowing myself to feel emotions :))
Absolutely. Allowing to feel ones emotions is always important, and being able to express them to loved ones can help so much. But when I feel sad/disappointed/stressed/... due to consequences of their conditions, I can't really let myself express those feelings - or else they will feel guilt and shame and keep their struggles from me in the future to not hurt me. All of which I don't want, I love being there for them and don't want to make them feel even worse! And at the same time, things can be challenging, and expressing that seems helpful to me. Well, I guess it's a shared learning journey. Feel free to let me know some tips or what you've learned along the way :)
I’m dating someone who just revealed to me they have a chronic illness. Its been a journey for me to understand him, thru his up and downs. But I’m learning how I can be more supportive and more patient, both with myself and with him. Thanks for posting this 💖 I appreciate your thoughtful perspective - so helpful! Sending love to you ❤️
Hi... I'm so glad this video has helped. I'm sure it's not easy but I've learnt that every relationship comes with its own set of challenges - whether chronic illness exists or not - something will be thrown at us to work upon. I wish you and your partner all the very best in your relationship. Thank you for watching and taking the time to drop in a message. :)
My partner has been suffering chronic illness for long and I want to grow to understand and support him more. Your video is really helpful. Thank you so much. I also noticed some other comments here said that only people with chronic illnesses will watch such video. But it's Not. I want to say:Regardless of your long challenges, there could be people out there who will love the real you still. Be hopeful and best wishes❤️
Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad you dropped in this comment. I have real belief that there are some amazing people out there who look at the person, rather than the health issues and/or disabilities their partners or potential partners deal with. You give many hope. :)
I got married 11 years ago. Only recently I injured myself while working out and developed a hiatal hernia, which causes a number of symptoms like nausea, shortness of breath, heart irregularities, reflux, chronic fatigue, and so on. My doctor said I’ll have to live with this condition because surgery would bring more problems. Because of this a lot of my quality of life has gone down. I can’t eat a lot of foods I used to enjoy, I can’t lay down flat on my bed and it even hurts to sit down, because literally my stomach goes up in my chest. This has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health and it’s hurting everyone who loves me to see me like this. I have lost 25lbs in 2 months. I feel like a burden to my husband now, we are both young and we have two young children. Sometimes the guilt alone won’t let me get up in the morning. Because I feel that I caused this to myself, because I wasn’t careful. I completely ruined my life
Hi Alexis, I am so sorry to hear that you've had to go through this. During my excision surgery for endometriosis in 2019, the surgeon found a hiatal hernia. As someone with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (a connective tissue disorder which also makes me a slow/poor healer), it meant that repairing the hernia wasn't going to be a regular job of using a mesh - instead, my own tissue was used to repair it. Thankfully, it has helped me a lot. My doctor knew what to do given my condition. The point of sharing this is for two reasons: 1. If you haven't already, please get multiple opinions and see if there is someone who has the expertise to resolve this, because I somewhere believe there could be. And I hope you find that person. 2. A lot of random stuff can happen that can cause health issues and complications that we're not prepared for, but we can make it worse for ourselves when we harbour on to guilt and not liking ourselves. The mental work and the mental healing is so necessary and from what I can tell with your comment, your husband is being helpful - please cherish that and look to work with it. Someone told me recently that we gain courage when we do it for someone else - someone we love. I hope you can get that courage for yourself, your husband and your kids. Good luck.
Hi Alexis, please don't blame yourself for this. Injuries are not always a straight line. There are many things that lead to injury and chronic pain. I can't imagine what you're going through with kids and husband. I also felt deeply guilty for many years when my health went downhill, but eventually I realized it was only adding to my pain. I have no advice... But I have lots of compassion. Best of luck and keep searching for good emotional and physical support.
I wish my bf had even an ounce of empathy for me. The more I think about those vows, in sickness and in health. I don't know if he's the right man for me. He can't even support me as a girlfriend. I doubt he'll change. It's heartbreaking.
Hi... Having a supportive partner can really change life for the better. It wouldn't be right for me to give you any relationship advice, but what I can say is that if you really truly listen to yourself, you'll be able to hear exactly what you need to do. Good luck and take care of yourself.
I love this list. Thank you so much for sharing it. In addition to that, it would be remiss of me not to mention the fact that you have one of the most beautiful spirits I’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing. If you knew my family background, you would fully understand when I tell you that you’re every Woman I’ve ever truly loved. What a breath of fresh air. Thanks again. TimzoTheCreator
I don’t know why I didn’t watch this until today. I think I will share it with some people in my life, and likely refer to it later. You are so good at articulating this. Thank you!
I bet nobody who wants to date someone with CI will watch your video instead ppl with CI watch your videos!! Ppl crave understanding than wanting to understand someone else zzz
Yes it's so tough to find someone who makes an effort to understand. But I do believe that there are people out there who look at someone for who they are. I live in hope :)
@@FootprintsNoBoundariesByShruti dear, I did not mean hope is not good! :) I mean look at the, people who visit this video- just look at the comments :) ... they are people with chronic pain who wish to be understood, whereas you wanted to tell people who want to meet people like us how to do it ...... Love your work yet :x
Thank you Michael - for watching, following and dropping in a comment. I really hope the nice people of the chronic illness community find nice people.
![30 Lessons about life with a chronic illness... [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_SUYBz8Pmhk/mqdefault.jpg)
![6 Things I Didn't Know About Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome [CC]](/img/n.gif)
Thanks for sharing. I am very chronically ill and need to be careful. I hope one day I can find someone. Sending love and healing vibes to all!
Thank you for watching. I really hope you find that someone special real soon. And loads of healing vibes to you too. 😊
@@FootprintsNoBoundariesByShruti Thank you so much. You are too kind!!!
I have a handful of chronic illnesses, daily life is so debilitating and intimacy is hard when you're constantly in pain. Being supportive is a must if you're dating someone with medical issues.
It takes a really patient and understanding person. I hope people who date those with chronic conditions take the time to do that.
I just want to help her. She's a beautiful soul, but sometimes I feel so helpless and I feel like I don't do a good enough job even though I'm trying so hard. I love her though, and I'm learning how to handle these situations better
Right there with you man
My biggest trouble has been dealing with the guilt that comes with being upset/sad when plans change suddenly, and then I am informed it’s due to my partner’s chronic illness. I’ve been getting better, both with being more understanding but also allowing myself to feel emotions :))
Absolutely. Allowing to feel ones emotions is always important, and being able to express them to loved ones can help so much. But when I feel sad/disappointed/stressed/... due to consequences of their conditions, I can't really let myself express those feelings - or else they will feel guilt and shame and keep their struggles from me in the future to not hurt me. All of which I don't want, I love being there for them and don't want to make them feel even worse! And at the same time, things can be challenging, and expressing that seems helpful to me. Well, I guess it's a shared learning journey. Feel free to let me know some tips or what you've learned along the way :)
I’m dating someone who just revealed to me they have a chronic illness. Its been a journey for me to understand him, thru his up and downs. But I’m learning how I can be more supportive and more patient, both with myself and with him. Thanks for posting this 💖 I appreciate your thoughtful perspective - so helpful! Sending love to you ❤️
Hi... I'm so glad this video has helped. I'm sure it's not easy but I've learnt that every relationship comes with its own set of challenges - whether chronic illness exists or not - something will be thrown at us to work upon. I wish you and your partner all the very best in your relationship. Thank you for watching and taking the time to drop in a message. :)
My partner has been suffering chronic illness for long and I want to grow to understand and support him more. Your video is really helpful. Thank you so much. I also noticed some other comments here said that only people with chronic illnesses will watch such video. But it's Not. I want to say:Regardless of your long challenges, there could be people out there who will love the real you still. Be hopeful and best wishes❤️
Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad you dropped in this comment. I have real belief that there are some amazing people out there who look at the person, rather than the health issues and/or disabilities their partners or potential partners deal with. You give many hope. :)
this helped me so much my i told my friend Leo gomez about this and it really helped him cope with his boyfriends fight with a pancreatic cancer
That's so nice - I am so overwhelmed that this video was helpful. Thank you for sharing.
I got married 11 years ago. Only recently I injured myself while working out and developed a hiatal hernia, which causes a number of symptoms like nausea, shortness of breath, heart irregularities, reflux, chronic fatigue, and so on. My doctor said I’ll have to live with this condition because surgery would bring more problems. Because of this a lot of my quality of life has gone down. I can’t eat a lot of foods I used to enjoy, I can’t lay down flat on my bed and it even hurts to sit down, because literally my stomach goes up in my chest. This has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health and it’s hurting everyone who loves me to see me like this. I have lost 25lbs in 2 months. I feel like a burden to my husband now, we are both young and we have two young children. Sometimes the guilt alone won’t let me get up in the morning. Because I feel that I caused this to myself, because I wasn’t careful. I completely ruined my life
Hi Alexis,
I am so sorry to hear that you've had to go through this.
During my excision surgery for endometriosis in 2019, the surgeon found a hiatal hernia. As someone with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (a connective tissue disorder which also makes me a slow/poor healer), it meant that repairing the hernia wasn't going to be a regular job of using a mesh - instead, my own tissue was used to repair it. Thankfully, it has helped me a lot. My doctor knew what to do given my condition.
The point of sharing this is for two reasons:
1. If you haven't already, please get multiple opinions and see if there is someone who has the expertise to resolve this, because I somewhere believe there could be. And I hope you find that person.
2. A lot of random stuff can happen that can cause health issues and complications that we're not prepared for, but we can make it worse for ourselves when we harbour on to guilt and not liking ourselves. The mental work and the mental healing is so necessary and from what I can tell with your comment, your husband is being helpful - please cherish that and look to work with it. Someone told me recently that we gain courage when we do it for someone else - someone we love. I hope you can get that courage for yourself, your husband and your kids.
Good luck.
Hi Alexis, please don't blame yourself for this. Injuries are not always a straight line. There are many things that lead to injury and chronic pain. I can't imagine what you're going through with kids and husband.
I also felt deeply guilty for many years when my health went downhill, but eventually I realized it was only adding to my pain.
I have no advice... But I have lots of compassion. Best of luck and keep searching for good emotional and physical support.
I wish my bf had even an ounce of empathy for me. The more I think about those vows, in sickness and in health. I don't know if he's the right man for me. He can't even support me as a girlfriend. I doubt he'll change. It's heartbreaking.
Hi... Having a supportive partner can really change life for the better.
It wouldn't be right for me to give you any relationship advice, but what I can say is that if you really truly listen to yourself, you'll be able to hear exactly what you need to do.
Good luck and take care of yourself.
@@FootprintsNoBoundariesByShruti honestly I couldn't handle so it's over. Couldn't stay with someone with no empathy.
When you have to battle through doctors and medications, you tend to value life more. (You say this around the halfway mark) INCREDIBLY VALIDATING
Thank you so much for watching the video so carefully.
I love this list. Thank you so much for sharing it. In addition to that, it would be remiss of me not to mention the fact that you have one of the most beautiful spirits I’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing. If you knew my family background, you would fully understand when I tell you that you’re every Woman I’ve ever truly loved. What a breath of fresh air.
Thanks again.
TimzoTheCreator
I don’t know why I didn’t watch this until today. I think I will share it with some people in my life, and likely refer to it later. You are so good at articulating this. Thank you!
You're very kind - I'm really glad it's resonated with you so much.
I loved this. Thank you.
This was very nice. Everything I knew already but it feels good to be validated.
So glad! Thank you for watching and dropping in a comment.
I bet nobody who wants to date someone with CI will watch your video instead ppl with CI watch your videos!! Ppl crave understanding than wanting to understand someone else zzz
Yes it's so tough to find someone who makes an effort to understand. But I do believe that there are people out there who look at someone for who they are. I live in hope :)
@@FootprintsNoBoundariesByShruti dear, I did not mean hope is not good! :) I mean look at the, people who visit this video- just look at the comments :) ... they are people with chronic pain who wish to be understood, whereas you wanted to tell people who want to meet people like us how to do it ...... Love your work yet :x
I'm glad I clicked on this video. Really helpful points made, thanks so much!
That's so good. I'm glad it's been helpful for you. Thank you for dropping in a comment. :)
Very kind of you to gather this info 😘. It's very difficult to find someone while enduring chronic illness(es). Gave you a follow on Instagram too.
Thank you Michael - for watching, following and dropping in a comment. I really hope the nice people of the chronic illness community find nice people.
This video helped a lot thank you
Thank you - I'm so glad it helped!
This is excellent!!!❤️