The #1 Trait That Makes Him Respect & Admire You!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ม.ค. 2020
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ความคิดเห็น • 966

  • @kingsoren2010
    @kingsoren2010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1212

    A famous person once said...STOP LETTING PEOPLE WHO DO SO LITTLE FOR YOU CONTROL SO MUCH OF YOUR MIND, FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS. ..This I've decided to do to family, friends or foes.

    • @alhoumauritz2419
      @alhoumauritz2419 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Ill keep this one...Thanks much for sharing 💖💖

    • @gracelynjack2769
      @gracelynjack2769 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thanks for these words

    • @stacyming543
      @stacyming543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Me too, Will Smith said it too

    • @blackroses_818
      @blackroses_818 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Forget other people though - stop letting YOUR emotions control YOU. I think that's the most important point to be taken from the video. Our emotions are a part of us, but they are not ALL of us.

    • @lorrainetavares1753
      @lorrainetavares1753 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Jasmon2020 Yes, sooo true: I have heard this before too!!! Been there with family, friends, partners & foes, lol!!! NEVER be SOOO available: ie: a TOTAL DOORMAT to be WALKED ALL OVER AND "CLIMB MOUNTAINS FOR PEOPLE WHO WOULDN'T EVEN CROSS THE ROAD FOR YOU!!!": another well known saying, but I can't remember who said it or where I heard or read it, lol??!! WE MUST DEFINITELY CHANGE OUR WHOLE WAY OF THINKING AND HOW WE SEE OURSELVES AND HOW WE LET OTHERS TREAT US AND WALK ALL OVER US (WE ARE NOT DOORMATS) AND START VALUING OURSELVES SOOO MUCH MORE HIGHLY AND THEN WE WILL BE TREATED WITH THE RESPECT WE SOOO DESERVE!!! 🤔🤗😇👏👏👏

  • @MJ-Travel
    @MJ-Travel 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

    "If you want to be treated as a queen, you need to act as a queen." so true 💯!

  • @fireeye33
    @fireeye33 4 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    PUNISH indecisiveness by BACKING OFF. You will gain soo much power and respect

    • @surbhighildiyal1735
      @surbhighildiyal1735 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      True . It’s exhausting to keep guessing if he is with me or is he just passing his time and waiting until he finds a better option . I blocked him now . I deserve somone who values and respcts me and is sure about me .

    • @stefaniemcgivern4519
      @stefaniemcgivern4519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@surbhighildiyal1735 exactly...too stressful if they are indecisive....

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@stefaniemcgivern4519 Don't punish. If he was indecisive, perhaps you are better off without him?

    • @stefaniemcgivern4519
      @stefaniemcgivern4519 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@coreycox2345 yes of course :)

  • @kimchee8996
    @kimchee8996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +628

    Dont give in too much in the beginning, let him earn it. Be brave to walk away anytime, you worth more than he thinks you deserve. If he cares enough he will try harder to keep you.

    • @seventhloven5982
      @seventhloven5982 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Kiss Kam Thank you

    • @seventhloven5982
      @seventhloven5982 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kiss Kam
      Thank you 👌

    • @garima0333
      @garima0333 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      What if the girl already made the mistake of confessing too early to the man. And the man could have been interested...but lost interest, coz the girl was too fast! What to do now? Is it a lost cause now?

    • @gracelynjack2769
      @gracelynjack2769 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks

    • @kimchee8996
      @kimchee8996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@seventhloven5982 Dont ever lower your standards as a woman. Be strong and brave and live your life. If he is meant to be in your life he will come back.

  • @unfoldinglotus1572
    @unfoldinglotus1572 2 ปีที่แล้ว +167

    I have studied so much about emotional intelligence and it does boil down to self-control. You're going to feel the emotion. It may even be uncomfortable. We all have various triggers. It's not about what you feel. It's about whether you react from a place of woundedness or respond from a higher perspective. Thank you for the videos you do.

    • @fmui
      @fmui 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      hmm well said

  • @sandramaar7585
    @sandramaar7585 4 ปีที่แล้ว +408

    The day I told him what I wanted and inserted boundaries in the relationship he started respecting me. He knew where I stood and were he stood. Game changer.

    • @atikhahamran
      @atikhahamran 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      how? i wanna know

    • @sandramaar7585
      @sandramaar7585 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

      @@atikhahamran I just sat with him and had a serious conversation on the lines of: "This is what I want in this relationship: a, b, c and d". If you want the same thing and we're on the same page all is good, if on the contrary this is not what you want then... the door is there". It was a polite "take it or leave it", he decided to take it and we're still together. Now he knows were I stand and what I want and if he messes up he knows I'll dump him. Choices... that magic word. Men don't know what you want unless you tell them.

    • @meenakshiyadav1850
      @meenakshiyadav1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@sandramaar7585 that's so helpful

    • @surbhighildiyal1735
      @surbhighildiyal1735 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      The day I did it ,he started showing his true colours. haha . Till I was naive , I was in his trap. The day I set boundaries,he said ohh girl You think so much . As if thinking about my future and security was bad . I wanted to know where I stand in his life . Some boys just enjoy the chase and attention. A real man will never keep you hanging and wil be very clear from the start . I hate guys who are half there . Either love us completely or don’t. Simple

  • @connienamutebi9451
    @connienamutebi9451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +555

    self control is a muscle we gotta train..

    • @randomperson360
      @randomperson360 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Connie Namutebi agreed

    • @GG-rw8cz
      @GG-rw8cz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      If only there was such a thing as a mind gym...

    • @empressqi1722
      @empressqi1722 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And control yourself next to someone who should love you? At all times? Or he will run away? Ladies, are you serious? Would you give this advice to someobe you love?

    • @katherinemehring9249
      @katherinemehring9249 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s where I went wrong get so up set he miss understanding me I lose it after 30 years married

  • @jjmurphey88
    @jjmurphey88 3 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    If a man isn’t going to be emotionally supportive when I need him, he can move on. I’m done giving everything for men who do so little for me.

    • @kiahoamin.5252
      @kiahoamin.5252 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Agree with you

    • @Ktrvrn
      @Ktrvrn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      But why make a man carry your emotional stuff.

    • @JenniferWeeks-lp4yt
      @JenniferWeeks-lp4yt ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Ktrvrn You must be young.

    • @JenniferWeeks-lp4yt
      @JenniferWeeks-lp4yt ปีที่แล้ว

      @@successful363 you seem to have a lot to learn about relationships.

  • @vitabuonavita2565
    @vitabuonavita2565 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    I was rational, i taught him Math.. I said Your Lack of contact is directly proportionate to your Level of interest

    • @odette_m2118
      @odette_m2118 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well said

    • @ENNARELL
      @ENNARELL 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I love this ❤

  • @crystalglory111
    @crystalglory111 4 ปีที่แล้ว +618

    Being too available & too easy is a turn off for most men. Being more mysterious & giving them freedom & space will make them want to be closer to you even more. A woman being too desperate for their attention, too clingy & emotionally attached is too unattractive for a man. It shows weakness & vulnerability. Being a strong & independent woman attracts a strong & independent man. Sometimes, you are what you believe & you do attract what you are. Laws of Attraction. Be free in your mind & free in your Soul, then Inner Peace attracts Positive Energy. When you truly love somebody, you give them freedom & space when they need it. Unconditional love is everlasting.

    • @sarahmk2966
      @sarahmk2966 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      I agree, but also disagree that women should not be vulnerable...in a long term relationship that's what men crave, emotionally feminine vulnerability (if you want a protective man that is).

    • @gracelynjack2769
      @gracelynjack2769 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Sometimes I let my emotions control my self control

    • @trinawize461
      @trinawize461 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@sarahmk2966 I don't think she meant to never be vulnerable, after all, love does require some amount of vulnerability. She meant that you should be careful not to be too desperate, too clingy, too needy or too vulnerable, because none of those things are attractive.

    • @barbaramalbroux5358
      @barbaramalbroux5358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So wise at a young age curious about your wisdom

    • @sansadrake4133
      @sansadrake4133 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @Katarina Kozinský exactly. Im the opposite of clingy and needy and eventually it pushes guys away as they think i have no interest. So that doesnt work either

  • @lauraacheson7281
    @lauraacheson7281 4 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    Galatians 5:22
    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.

  • @MichelleLyn84
    @MichelleLyn84 3 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    Reading these comments make me realize why relationships never last anymore.

  • @itsmeiniaku
    @itsmeiniaku 4 ปีที่แล้ว +114

    When i was nice and loving, he abused me. When i ignored him, he doesnt wanna let me go.

    • @itsmeiniaku
      @itsmeiniaku 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@annc7739 exactly.

    • @deepakenchi3939
      @deepakenchi3939 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here

    • @alleaufihreposition
      @alleaufihreposition 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thats so sick. I always ask myself, why are so many men like this.

    • @Ana-rb7ws
      @Ana-rb7ws 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@alleaufihreposition -
      Because that’s how they are with each other, and so they are like that with women too. But this is in immature men. Mature men like to treat women like women. This maturing can take a long time though.

    • @laibasehrish3856
      @laibasehrish3856 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

  • @linvi_chemutai
    @linvi_chemutai 4 ปีที่แล้ว +471

    Ladies this actually works. Don't be needy.. they can smell that. 😂😂

    • @loridori
      @loridori 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      It is true, but it's sad that women we are actually in need of security and have to pretend we don't need it, to get a man to actually provide security. We shouldn't have to do that. Men were created to be protectors and providers. Where are their natural God-given instincts. The issues are our upbringings and so many other factors that cause conflict between men and women. I believe egos (pride), lack of understanding and fear are some of those factors just to name a few.

    • @lolitajackson5112
      @lolitajackson5112 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Agree

    • @kelleybright3113
      @kelleybright3113 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And it stinks like old milk

    • @emma-dc6dl
      @emma-dc6dl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What needy means in relationship?? Please

    • @alexandra7950
      @alexandra7950 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@emma-dc6dl needy means emotionally dependent, you need to have your own autonomy but let him be neeeded in terms of protecting you and providing for you

  • @Supersexywexy1
    @Supersexywexy1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +336

    You don't know how spiritual this is. Empowering

    • @walmartian
      @walmartian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      but if you studied myself you would say more words about me

    • @carla888
      @carla888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ohhh yes I'm thinking the same

    • @fifidebessai9081
      @fifidebessai9081 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Simply Mika right?! wow!

    • @sarahproductions7350
      @sarahproductions7350 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      🎆🙏

  • @evamaria644
    @evamaria644 4 ปีที่แล้ว +354

    Also, not to take crap from him if he crosses your boundaries walk away.

    • @kimngandong
      @kimngandong 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Exactly. Can't repeat this enough. Respect your own boundaries.

    • @lorrainetavares1753
      @lorrainetavares1753 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Marie Evans Yes, exactly: wise words!!!

  • @reginageorge108
    @reginageorge108 4 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    DON'T LET YOUR EMOTIONS CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS 🙌🏻
    Lets learn emotional intelligence
    Self- Control is the key.
    Don't text him, don't be the only one to call him... let that shit go

  • @joylaine3193
    @joylaine3193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    Exactly... SELF CONTROL... So many times I want to email him but I would never do it.. I want over this once and for all.. I have pride and dignity... He doesn't warrant an email or a phone call from me...

    • @DeniseV
      @DeniseV 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@joylaine3193 I think T South is just trying to be helpful :)

    • @joylaine3193
      @joylaine3193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@DeniseV I may have taken it wrong...

    • @durreshahwar381
      @durreshahwar381 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly that's what I learned after my break up

    • @elenikominos7404
      @elenikominos7404 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @T South 🤣🤣🤣

    • @lorrainetavares1753
      @lorrainetavares1753 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      NEVER CHASE A MAN: VALUE YOURSELF HIGHLY SO THAT HE WILL THEN REALISE WHAT A FOOL HE WAS TO LOSE SOMEONE AS VALUABLE AS Y O U!!! 🤔😯

  • @sharonduggan1630
    @sharonduggan1630 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    This is so accurate. Learning to feel and control our emotions is what sets us apart from those who just react to their emotions and then regret it afterwards. Learning to decide how to respond takes discipline and determination but once they become a habit then indeed life improves dramatically - rather than being a soap opera.

  • @martaorzechowska2860
    @martaorzechowska2860 4 ปีที่แล้ว +183

    My emotions are not me. My emotions are the information from me about me.

    • @lillyfeilke7076
      @lillyfeilke7076 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is you

    • @anukal1205
      @anukal1205 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Your comment was such a light-bulb moment for me. Thank you!

    • @j.rising7286
      @j.rising7286 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      💯

    • @syahirahabdullah3210
      @syahirahabdullah3210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      true!!! emotions are our tools.
      it's our responsibility to manage/master our emotions. Not the other way around (most of the time)
      except for gut feelings. gut feelings are special :)

  • @capucinegoguet2562
    @capucinegoguet2562 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The problem with this advice is that in my case I began to act like I was indifferent, I don't know anymore how to do the difference between being in control and being spontaneous and natural. I think it is good sometimes too let yourself express your feelings that is also part of being human :)

    • @kimberlychilstrom6888
      @kimberlychilstrom6888 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Again ...Brian giving much needed and good advice ..but I believe more about interacting with immature or already damaged men ...but this EQUALLY CAN apply to all unhealed and damaged WOMEN ..THE DOOR SWINGS BOTH WAYS FOLKS

  • @nikkimcdonald6459
    @nikkimcdonald6459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    Just act like a guy...and you will never be the one chasing!

    • @lorrainetavares1753
      @lorrainetavares1753 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      EXACTLY: THAT IS SOOO BRILLIANT: never thought of it like that: "treat 'em mean: keep 'em keen", lol!!! Seriously: there should be be mutual respect & love: otherwise: what's the point??!!

    • @stefaniemcgivern4519
      @stefaniemcgivern4519 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Men are just not worth the effort.....I don’t want to be the guy....

    • @diodaon4898
      @diodaon4898 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      This is it. I naturally have a “guy” mind and rarely get hurt. I try not to hurt others.

    • @donnaami7609
      @donnaami7609 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Great advice!!! Thanks 😁

    • @katherinemehring9249
      @katherinemehring9249 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No that’s why he thing I not love him

  • @acsaudiodramas
    @acsaudiodramas 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    That is true ... with men caring for you at least a bit. The other men get lost, because they want you to be their slave. They never liked you to begin with. A man that loves you for yourself, will become curious if you live your own life aside from him.

  • @CarterSams
    @CarterSams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    My levels of discipline make me SO happy & confident. It just makes me feel so strong, capable, and reliable.

    • @kristagray8936
      @kristagray8936 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wish I had that :/

    • @CarterSams
      @CarterSams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@kristagray8936 you can work on it love, it didn’t come naturally to me. Keep one small promise to yourself every day. All the best. ❤️

    • @surbhighildiyal1735
      @surbhighildiyal1735 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good .

  • @carolmaz8675
    @carolmaz8675 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    So true we can’t change what a person does but we can change how we react to it 😃

  • @samanthaperez7859
    @samanthaperez7859 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is the video . I can finally stop searching . This is THE video

  • @jacquibaxter1880
    @jacquibaxter1880 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I think when it comes down to it. A guy is either into you...or he is not! Doesn't matter what you do!

    • @SM-cg5uy
      @SM-cg5uy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yep. Emotions are fine as long as they are expressed rationally. Emotions CAN be rational, Brian Nox is wrong. They serve a major purpose and ignoring them and playing mind games leads to nothing.

  • @eehyetti
    @eehyetti 4 ปีที่แล้ว +711

    Don’t. Text. Him.

    • @lamiajacob8499
      @lamiajacob8499 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Why

    • @lamiajacob8499
      @lamiajacob8499 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Thank you God bless you.

    • @cathrine1151
      @cathrine1151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      eehyetti yes why not?

    • @eehyetti
      @eehyetti 4 ปีที่แล้ว +109

      Cathrine if you find yourself in a position eating yourself up whether to text the guy or not, you better not text him, it’s always the best in my experience.

    • @myyjoi19
      @myyjoi19 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I needed this, thank you

  • @avril.227
    @avril.227 4 ปีที่แล้ว +179

    I agree to a point. I agree we shouldn’t act on our intense emotions at the moment, and learn to recognize our own toxic behaviors when conveying emotions to a man.
    However other relationship experts emphasize the value of being vulnerable. That it brings people together. Men like warm emotional women. They just don’t like women who act needy or desperate. Also make him earn this level of trust before sharing your deepest feelings and desires. If something upsetting or triggering does come up with him, use “I feel “ statements. Also make sure it isn’t directed at the guy. For example, a guy makes a mistake and forgets about your date to a concert that you made a month previously.
    You would state, “I feel devalued when my time isn’t respected. You must have mistaken me for someone who will put up with “X”.
    I respect myself so I will not.”
    Then end the conversation and go do something that makes you genuinely happy. If he doesn’t apologize and change the behavior, move on. He doesn’t respect you and no one needs that. No 2 or 3 chances! Set the expectation.

    • @Only1Me2times
      @Only1Me2times 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I love this comment💞💞

    • @FV-rl5lv
      @FV-rl5lv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      you absolutely right! Vulnerability mixed with some self control is the key. Say what you have to say, but do so in a mature respectful fashion.

    • @JedidiahProductions
      @JedidiahProductions 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I second this

    • @heatherherries1754
      @heatherherries1754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's amazing! Thank you!

    • @renchemarais8419
      @renchemarais8419 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Only1Me2times 💕💕💕💕💕

  • @lilacmoon9794
    @lilacmoon9794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I studied so much psychology my son's old therapist thought I went to school for it. I was trying to learn how to fix my family. It ended up with me finding the self-worth to leave an abusive situation in 2016. This year I began my first relationship since. Right now he can't spend too much time here, and that's hard for me. I love your videos because they remind me what I need to know. What I already know. Self-control is a super power.

  • @jennifertoynbee-holmes3944
    @jennifertoynbee-holmes3944 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I really like a guy online and we've been texting each other every day. I normally wait for him to take the initiative but today I texted him first. He normally replies almost immediately but he didn't! I controlled my feelings of disappointment as I knew he had read my WhatsApp text even though it showed just two grey ticks. (He'd obviously turned off the read signal!) I controlled my feelings and just left it. If he wanted to go there was nothing I could do about and texting him again would only make me appear needy! Five hours later he texted
    me and I replied as if there was nothing wrong! Thanks, Brian You're advice is great!

    • @lafemmesanspseudo7840
      @lafemmesanspseudo7840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      From what I gathered from the videos, in this case this can't be called "suppressing your true feelings". They were not in a relationship yet, and Jennifer would be able to be more open later on (providing she didn't screw the earl relationship, which she apparently didn't). Also, she rightly had self-control on this occasion ! She was disappointed/frustrated/sad when he didn't reply right away, but instead of listening to her emotions and bursting into written invectives of some sort (and he would have left, maybe rightly so), she just left things there, and he wrote back later. Would unleashing her true bad feelings would have portrayed her real self accurately ? perhaps not. Also... 5 hours later is not that bad ! Not everyone wants to be hung on his/her phone all the time (well... you do when you're falling in love but...). I'm sure she felt more stastisfied aftewards than if she expressed her bad feelings.

  • @amelag100
    @amelag100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "Madly in love with a guy you don't know", that is not love, that is projection.

    • @kimberlychilstrom6888
      @kimberlychilstrom6888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I've been learning alot in here..yes ..you are loving who you want or wish them to be ..mixed with outside attraction..combination of much I believe ..I think you can have a form of godly/agape love ,mixed with friendship love and when you mix them all together however..can be quite strong and misleading..especially im beginning..everything basically just needs more time to grow roots ..

  • @ellengrace4609
    @ellengrace4609 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    1:32 I predict the trait is self-restraint or self-control.
    3:45 Yes!

  • @bonniebester606
    @bonniebester606 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Self Control has always been my biggest struggle!

  • @hh5hh5lkjnlfsr8kls
    @hh5hh5lkjnlfsr8kls 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    My emotions are my authentic self.

  • @sweetberries683
    @sweetberries683 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    why only women have to work hard on relationship?

    • @PK-ms6yh
      @PK-ms6yh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @ThatOneGirl powerful words love this ❤️

    • @aricm477
      @aricm477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Most men aren’t the ones looking for a relationship. It’s not something most men aspire to it just happens while a lot of women proactively seek a relationship. Being in a position to influence/guide the man you desire in the right direction can be very powerful and useful.

    • @bridgetarndt1302
      @bridgetarndt1302 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@aricm477 👌

    • @Introvertliving
      @Introvertliving 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Actually men do it, too. It’s all about who likes whom more, sadly. I’ve so many men after me, and the only one whom I’ve a crush on, is only looking for sex. Life! 😣

    • @sweetberries683
      @sweetberries683 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Introvertliving @ yeah sad but true most men just about sex

  • @jammed8723
    @jammed8723 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Im so glad that i have enough self-control not to check on him no matter how much i wanted to.

  • @valentine221
    @valentine221 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Just be yourself do not change just to please someone, in other way you'll lose yourself 😶

  • @tomaradoss3420
    @tomaradoss3420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    Just asked my friend to hang out! He said ! I will get back to you! I haven’t dialed that number since and probably never will! He has reached out and I will respond with the same energy I’ve always had! Because you won’t make me bitter or angry! But what you will know is that I’m not as pressed for you as you thought! Because I may like you but I love me!

    • @navimarlow
      @navimarlow 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hello !!!!! 🗣Say it a little louder!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @renchemarais8419
      @renchemarais8419 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😁😍❤️💕

  • @E.Nobody
    @E.Nobody 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I was thinking self respect, but self control is definitely important, it's something I've had to learn over the years, and it's definitely got it's challenges.
    Especially emotional self control.
    Thank you for another amazing video, I appreciate it more than you'll ever know 💙

  • @emzcasil4543
    @emzcasil4543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    Your voice so sweet and warm...😁

    • @allywolf9182
      @allywolf9182 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He could be reading a cookbook and I'd still listen. Love him too! Very down to earth and makes it easy to understand in real terms. Most excellent

    • @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart
      @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Right. He is so sweet, so subtle, so charming, so deep, so passionate, so witty, so life transformational but I can see he was the nerd in the classroom who got overlooked. We all want him now, right ladies? LOL Yep. Hugs to you Brian. :)

    • @walmartian
      @walmartian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      if you heard me tho you would be writing longer messages about my sing song way of enchanting those fortunate enough to listen

  • @shaunajin8497
    @shaunajin8497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    TOTALLY AGREE w you that self control is one of the most important skills to master for every area of our life! I'm really enjoying your videos and messages! You're doing an AMAZING JOB!!

  • @DS40764
    @DS40764 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You have given me so much info about emotional intelligence and self control which I wasn't taught much of as a child. This is a news years resolution! Thanks!

  • @freshclean7036
    @freshclean7036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I have been there and not acted on my emotions. Hearing you recommend how to control one's feelings is a powerful process. I step back because I am naturally an overthinker, which is normal for me. I go over my thoughts and emotions by distancing myself from others to get a reality check. This process keeps me from making regrets.

    • @missyluna8286
      @missyluna8286 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi there! Wow, thank you kindly for sharing
      ..very interested to ask you, going by your description of yourself is VERY NEAR TO MY SELF'S WAYS IN THINKING TOO, so this makes me wonder if at all you happen to be a Scorpio ♏ in regards to your Zodiac sign?
      Thank you for reading and your time

    • @allaboutnic
      @allaboutnic 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Fresh & clean, we are totally alike.

    • @katherinemariano4911
      @katherinemariano4911 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m the same..

    • @ccmai6897
      @ccmai6897 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ Missy Luna, I'm a Scorpio. I overthink everything and let my emotions rule my actions at times. Luckily I have an amazing guy/husband I've been w since college. I just like watching these videos for self improvement.
      Have you found Brian's advice and techniques helpful?

  • @25mariec
    @25mariec 4 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    I always love your messages. They speak truth and from the heart... another important word I learned today “Self-control”-a muscle that needs to be trained.

  • @Chahlie
    @Chahlie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Yes, he may lose interest if you make other plans, but he wasn't worthwhile in that case.

  • @Meeb24
    @Meeb24 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don't need to pretend who I am not. If I become emotional and told him about my feelings doesn't mean I don't have control of myself and he has the control. Because whether I show him my good and bad side, if the man is meant for me then he will stay, but if not, then I'll let him go. I can love him forever but if he cheat on me, abuse me and lie to me then his out of my life. Because all I need is a man who is honest and sincere to me and loves me for who I am, the good and the bad side of me. Because I'm that kind of person, when my heart choose to love him, I already accept who he was, is and will be.

    • @chiripse
      @chiripse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Get ready to be played ,you are not in a disney movie. A man is telling you how to behave to get good results but you chose to reject it. Like going to a hospital and refusing the doctors advice

  • @randa-yv4ht
    @randa-yv4ht 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I don't miss a single video of yours. Your videos are full of wise advices, not the usual advices " what to do to please a man" but how to respect yourself, be strong and independant . Thank u so much i learn a lot from u as woman and as a human being.

  • @cathrine1151
    @cathrine1151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    It’s emotional regulation. More so than emotional intelligence, in my opinion.

    • @namastewellness
      @namastewellness 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      The higher your EI the better your ER.

    • @cathrine1151
      @cathrine1151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Saimazing Life that’s true. And self control entails both - plus knowledge of oneself.

    • @AlehaDarabaka
      @AlehaDarabaka 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You can be EI yet when dealing w C PTSD ER is deregulated and lots of healing inc neuroplasticity needs to happen to balance it. You can be highly EI yet when something triggers you emotionally...

    • @BlackNella
      @BlackNella 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Emotional regulation is a facet of emotional intelligence.

    • @silverline8855
      @silverline8855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@AlehaDarabaka Yes, it's difficult with CPTSD. But even more important to train I think! In order to get more (self-)respect. Meditation works and sports and going out in nature.

  • @heathermclean-smith5893
    @heathermclean-smith5893 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Brian, excellent video! You are so right about how using self control is so important and leads to greater confidence. I have found this so true in my own life. When I sit back and don’t act on negative emotions, but rather take action and do something happy and positive for myself, my life is so much better! Thanks for this wonderful video! ❤️

  • @GM-nf4bw
    @GM-nf4bw 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Saved this to my favorites. Need to hear this more than once.

  • @kpspower8099
    @kpspower8099 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks a lot. It makes sense to me. Self-control is like a test whether he likes you enough or not to take a move.

  • @sot.c
    @sot.c 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    This is one of the BEST most sincerely helpful videos I have ever seen.

    • @renchemarais8419
      @renchemarais8419 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

  • @ladymorgana8439
    @ladymorgana8439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So true, I'm so emotional sometimes in my life in general, more often than sometimes, actually, it's really damaging to me, friends may understand you,but people who like to manipulate others may use your emotional triggers against you.

  • @shubhanginath4049
    @shubhanginath4049 4 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    This is what I needed at the moment. This is amazing.

    • @johannavogelsang1847
      @johannavogelsang1847 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes, me too.
      I think its very important to think about it, and to do it, of course.

    • @walmartian
      @walmartian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      because you havent met me yet you have a lower standard for what is amazing

  • @beecl2076
    @beecl2076 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thank you Brian...self-control is self-love.

  • @ndmkdmdndfjcjcjnxnx8815
    @ndmkdmdndfjcjcjnxnx8815 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you:) I needed to hear this.. I am a very emotional person struggling with mental health and I realize now that maybe..I have let them control my life & my decisions way too much and as a result destroyed relationships and now I'm lonely and single and sad. Time to regain my self control back!

  • @cornpopssidechick9509
    @cornpopssidechick9509 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Never wonder if he will call. Don't give them your phone number. If they want to go out they will ask in person and set a date.

  • @marianagarza1207
    @marianagarza1207 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Absolutely love this video! Straight to the point. So control your emotions, don't act needy, or desperate/thirsty, don't be clingy...perfect! Exactly everything a woman does when in love 😂. Self control is actually admired and helps eliminate the men that are fuck boys and the ones that are keepers. So WORK that self control "muscle".

  • @jeanwroberts
    @jeanwroberts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    Honestly when I see somebody completely detached from their emotions and in complete "self control," it's a huge turn off. They feel robotic and inhuman to me. Especially with men, it's usually a sign that they're not in touch with their emotions and can't handle the enormity of them. How do you determine the difference between a lack of self control and a lack of being in tune with one's emotions?

    • @outaboutwithleeyamcgeeya2571
      @outaboutwithleeyamcgeeya2571 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Jean Roberts excellent point.

    • @guelleshah3207
      @guelleshah3207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Very good point..

    • @maliadadou6456
      @maliadadou6456 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      It's not about being detached from our emotions. It's quite the opposite. You are absolutely aware of your emotions and you understand why you want to do certain things because you are feeling a certain way, but you are able to rationalize it and not react in exagerated manner. A lot of people, for example, feel anger, but some people burst out, some people want to inflict pain, others yell, other completely close off and others are able to keep calm and communicate their anger in a calm manner. It's about control, not being detached from it.

    • @carolinelaronda4523
      @carolinelaronda4523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You bring up a good point bc a narcissist is completely detached from their emotional body and will display a calm collected demeanor most of the time which is not a good thing in this case . If you want to know if you’re dealing w a narcissist or someone who just has their emotions in check do this : tell them no. A narcissist will show their ugly side and the mask will slip . A healthy person will accept your boundaries and offer to meet in the middle or consider other options to compromise for the benefit of you and them .

    • @heatherherries1754
      @heatherherries1754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's perfect! U can be upset, jealous, needy, etc. Just have control over it. There is a time and place to express those feelings when people are ready to hear them or desire to hear them. For example when a man comes to u and asks, "why did u stop calling" then you can explain. When u are in control of your emotions and not act irrationally. Feelings are real for everyone. Take power of them.

  • @Amysbiblereads
    @Amysbiblereads 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Oh my god!!! Yes!!! I’ve found me being honest and having self control also, has been a god send. I hold back like you said. When I’m angry or upset because he cancels a date because he has to work for example, I just say “ok maybe next time :)” and it work’s ! I then have fun with friends and although I’m angry, he doesn’t need to know. However if he asks if he’s done something wrong, one time was because he was going on about his ex and it was an instant turn off for me. I was honest, I said that I didn’t feel comfortable. Turns out, you can be honest with integrity and they can respect you more! It’s all about self control 100%! Thank you xo

    • @SM-cg5uy
      @SM-cg5uy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If you have to play games, he's not the right one.

    • @Ktrvrn
      @Ktrvrn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I am glad to hear this works for you.

  • @artsyhyd
    @artsyhyd 4 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    “Bad men are looking for women they can control” this reminds me of a fukboy I met once lol. He made me realize that Good men and immature men attracted to different types of women; good men are looking for quality, but immature men simply just want women they think look hot, they can fuk, and they can use.

  • @christismith8052
    @christismith8052 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Soooo good! 💕 Perfect explanation of why I flopped in my relationship two days ago and succeeded today! Delayed gratification DOES feel so much better than manipulating by my emotions! I LOVED your comment that a man who is good for me will be repelled by my lack of self control, which gives him power, but a man who is not good for me will be drawn to that!! Wow - so good - and confirms my man is sooo good for me! Thank you for your great insight!

  • @aebglenda27
    @aebglenda27 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    Self control, now I know, maybe he lost interest on me bcoz of the neediness to see him always, most of the time I was the one initiating the conversation, after found out he went back to exgf, now I did no contact then he is messaging me but i didn't reply, busy improving myself now and put back my self value. Thanks for your videos Brian, really help.

    • @vf8653
      @vf8653 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      If he lost or didn't have much interest in you, he is not your guy either way, don't blame yourself for everything. You deserve better and you will find better

    • @aebglenda27
      @aebglenda27 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@vf8653 exactly! God will give something better. Thanks!

    • @claudia_90
      @claudia_90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes do it! Self love and self care🧡

    • @aebglenda27
      @aebglenda27 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@claudia_90 exactly. Thanks!

    • @Femininelovevibes
      @Femininelovevibes 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      How did you find out he went back to a gf ?

  • @queenelyzabeth73
    @queenelyzabeth73 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have often said how come I am good at everything accept love. My love life was always ruled by emotions- out of control. All other aspects of my life are clean cool and collected. Crazy how I am most not like myself when it comes to love. Why all the bad evil 😈 men? Oh yes now I know.

  • @starshake8998
    @starshake8998 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Yes, all of my ex boyfriends "respect and admire" me and my emotional self control. 🙄 That still doesn't make me marriage material in their hearts. What people admire isn't necessarily what bonds them with other people.

    • @SM-cg5uy
      @SM-cg5uy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Accurate. It's important to know how to show emotions correctly, not to stifle them.

    • @kimberlychilstrom6888
      @kimberlychilstrom6888 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SM-cg5uy another very good point

  • @InshasChoice
    @InshasChoice 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The self projection is real. I'm sincere myself and expect others to be sincere... disappointment.
    I do have self control, I'm able to adjust to situations accordingly and I emotionally regulate - I'm an anxious person but I mask it well.
    It's daunting not knowing what to expect from him, but you are the only one that you _can_ control. People come and go, you remain. Don't give in

  • @Kimeshasadventures_
    @Kimeshasadventures_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I needed to hear this! I understand Emotional intelligence wayyyy better now! Thank you!

  • @Nicole11522
    @Nicole11522 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    So true how self control is important in all aspects of life. Food, exercise, spiritually. I'm very proud of my ability to exercise my self control muscle but am always working at it. Great video!

  • @marciacristinavieira3889
    @marciacristinavieira3889 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Powerful and true! Thank you, Brian!

  • @antonides-official
    @antonides-official 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    i will use this from now on and has changed my life. you deserve so much for this

  • @geraldineselvakumarigeorge3137
    @geraldineselvakumarigeorge3137 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you Mr. Brian. I actually experienced exactly what you explained. I was successful. Got married to a very loving guy. My past experiences taught me a lot. What you explained is really true. May GOD bless you😍

  • @leachridlah1927
    @leachridlah1927 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You spoke to my soul I'm stepping in 2020 with self control u are amazing thanks for keeping it real!❤

  • @sheyda22
    @sheyda22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Dear Brian, words can not be found to describe my immense gratitude towards this amazingly golden trait!!! A trait I have had on my own but had buried away due to getting involved with a toxic person and so on. You reminded me to take a look in the rear mirror witnessing my 14 year old self smiling thankfully as my 40 years self stopped the car and let her co-drive the vehicle of "self" with me. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. Love, from Sweden.

  • @natashamelloraindengchee1829
    @natashamelloraindengchee1829 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Brian. You totally hit the nail on head. Emotions are to be controlled. Thank you.

  • @yukik7949
    @yukik7949 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Want him to read me a bedtime story, his voice is so soothing. XD

  • @mamamagere
    @mamamagere 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Excellent guide to managing our emotions. Thank you.

  • @earthloveskin375
    @earthloveskin375 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As usual Brian, you nailed it!!! I love how you put that self-discipline & self-control are the present foundations of a good future decision + the emotions saying "hey check this out" and up to us to whether or not check it out. THAT IS SO POWERFUL! You're one of my fave dating coaches, and as usual... mindblowing value! Thanks for making this comparison. This kind of psychology not only applies to relationships but for mental health too -- depression & distraction run similar wavelengths and we are choices away from recovery. Thank you for this!

  • @lcc523
    @lcc523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this it makes so much sense, I hate the way emotions make you feel at times especially relationship emotions throws you off. I like feeling in control of that and creating my own experiences.

  • @Soldiergirl_4
    @Soldiergirl_4 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    OMG! Thank you. Every human needs to hear this 🧡

  • @flooredjustfloored
    @flooredjustfloored 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow! This one is INCREDIBLE! I recently handled an emotionally charged situation from the perspective of self-love and being willing to walk away, which did render a positive outcome (in the vein of not showing all my cards, i.e. revealing all of my emotions). However, the self-control angle paints with a broader stroke. I LOVED this!

  • @77angelajoy
    @77angelajoy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This truly spoke to me!!! I have been doing this up until now and no more!! I will keep strengthening my self control muscle 😊 thank you!

  • @merladyneptune3908
    @merladyneptune3908 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Brian Nox, your one of the Best and my favorite! I have learnt so much in your 8 minute videos than i did in other channels. Really love & appreciate your work, it is so uplifiting! Your truly gifted & Thank you so much!

  • @adonisq
    @adonisq 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so very much, Mr Geert! I am very happy to hear this from you!

  • @spramele
    @spramele 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Really good stuff, “Brian!” Makes so much sense! I’m going to start being aware of that, reaction trigger, with keeping that in mind.
    Confidence is being non reactive.
    You lose power when you react the way your response system feels the need to.
    Thank you!

  • @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart
    @Ms.Ameen_Braveheart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That was amazing Brian Nox. Self control and emotional intelligence. Thanks for delineating that for me. I am pleased to say, I saw me exercising this muscle. Now, with your clarifications, I can continue to be always deliberate about this. Thanks

  • @reneecaines9097
    @reneecaines9097 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    You can sleep well Brian! I personally Love the deep videos. I am so grateful for your approach and generosity of sharing your knowledge.

  • @aaella3397
    @aaella3397 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Eversince i started watching one of your videos, i just couldn’t stop.. u are just amazing! 🙌

  • @wyethhan7434
    @wyethhan7434 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Brian you Amazed me.. This video is excellent for me.. Thank you very much.. I just need to control myself from now on.., I hope to see more video from you Sir, I love you and God bless You!!

  • @miriamluzeleria9144
    @miriamluzeleria9144 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you..learn about gaining back my self respect❤

  • @pamhageerty2095
    @pamhageerty2095 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes ! Self control confidence, I will keep repeating this.
    Thank you sooo much Brian

  • @Aris-Darling
    @Aris-Darling 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Self-control and confidence ♥️

  • @katerinasfiri8160
    @katerinasfiri8160 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Your advice is so useful! Not only for romantic relationships, but for all kinds of relationships Thank you!

  • @JJ-yu6og
    @JJ-yu6og 4 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Wtf, dude!!! If the guy is insulting you, just leave. Do not stick around for another round of abuse. Don't even give him a chance. As adults, if people haven't figured out that insulting the person that you're dating is not acceptable, then it's not your to teach them or correct them. Just leave. Find someone who IS a responsible and emotionally healthy and balanced adult. Don't give him a chance to do it again.

    • @claudia_90
      @claudia_90 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      👏👏👏👏💯

    • @kimberlychilstrom6888
      @kimberlychilstrom6888 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perfect answer

    • @NikkiGRocks4Ever
      @NikkiGRocks4Ever 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree life is too short to put up with bad behavior. If they need to learn, then they need to read books and watch videos like the rest of us do.

    • @JJ.___.
      @JJ.___. ปีที่แล้ว

      Yea unfortunately someone’s absurd behaviour that’s clearly intentional from a place of insufficient care for u won’t change. They already have a perception of u and how they feel abt u can only go down meaning they think less and less of u. They can only become less interested:/

  • @trumpwonjoecheated5564
    @trumpwonjoecheated5564 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very true .. .self control! One of the best advices thus far. 👍

  • @lisar317
    @lisar317 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks Brian. I definitely act on my emotions and then regret it later. I need to practice self control every day in every situation.

  • @sammielisabeth4928
    @sammielisabeth4928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Self control is a new one for me but I've been executing it well lately (for the past month). It helps the healing process for me.

  • @Bunnikins
    @Bunnikins 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I so wish I’d listened to this before, I’ve just blew my relationship I’d worked at, by losing it. The basis is so helpful. Feel and acknowledge the emotion perhaps privately for me and then when it’s under control reflect on it’s basis and action required. I had very strong emotions that I had no control over, they took over, phew controlling that energy will be strong self control

  • @Yeshuamysavior1
    @Yeshuamysavior1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow! Thank you so very much for teaching us this. I needed this 60 years ago.
    You are very wise and kind

  • @Gabriela-ht7yz
    @Gabriela-ht7yz 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you very much, Brian! For your generosity to share your wisdom! I love you!