Having an awkward phase (“the blunder years”) is valuable because it teaches you that it’s not the end or the world to be a little lame or goofy. It builds character and resilience to endure the mockery of your peers and grow beyond it.
It also allows kids to gradually learn about their blooming sexuality, rather than kicking it into overdrive and then regretting it because you didn't know what you were getting into
@@alderidgelore yeah, I hated it at the time, but in hindsight I’m glad I got to go through the pre teen years before COVID hit. I just feel so bad for all these kids who feel like they have to follow every single trend for fear of being “cringe” or “out of date”, that they never develop a style and taste of their own.
@@kathleenking47 most 18-30 yo women look 18-30... it's like the original commenter said, TikTok just isnt real lol most young adults don't have filler or cosmetic work done.
i am a manager at a retail store marketed towards kids 0-14. if it makes anyone feel better, for the amount of 9-12 y/o 'mini teenagers' coming in buying uggs and adidas like their older sisters there are just as many kids the same age coming in and buying the twinkle toes and sparkly converse covered in glitter, rainbows, and kittens. kids are still being kids out there!
Great point! I think there’s a lot of kids out there who are still being kids. It really depends on many factors like what the culture is at their local schools, communities, families, social circles, etc., and also how kids themselves choose to express their identities. Though there definitely has been a troubling trend on social media of tweens acting older, it’s important to consider that we’re often only seeing what is posted to social media. In my experience, though, there’s still plenty of other tweens (that we may not be seeing as much on social media) who go through what many consider a traditional “tween phase.” That being said, I hope the trend we’re seeing on social media dies down and kids feel less pressure to grow up so fast. I was someone who tried to stay a kid during those transitional years while many of my peers were trying to be more like adults, and even at that time I was concerned and wished that I knew more peers who acted more like a kid than a teenager/adult.
@@sambartlett1435yeah… my area too. I’ll see the occasional preteen that looks a little older/dressing a little older but my son is nearly 10 and I’m around kids his age and a little older often (still preteen kids) and I don’t see this… that much in real life.
I’ve seen way too many videos of parents talking about their children being bullied by 8th graders because they’re not wearing makeup or not having a phone. That’s craaazzzyyy
it's always appalling when people make fun of children for being children and then they act surprised when those children are bullied out of those normal childhood experiences... why is everything so hostile towards children these days?
Because a lot of the older generation likes to think “oh my life was hard so theirs should be too” even though their lives weren’t hard at all. For example my own mother and her brother always had the mindset of “I had to work for what I have so yall should too” (they were talking about my brother and me) or they would say stuff like “kids today have it so much easier than us” and I asked my grandmother her thoughts and she said “please….. your mom and uncle had everything given to them, we bought their cars for them when they were 16 and they didn’t have to do nearly as much as they act like, don’t get me started on the times we had to financially help them as adults, just ignore them” So it’s just jealousy. I will say however there is a huge danger in kids not having the preteen years and/or kids who are still trying to figure out things having unrestricted access to the internet and the whole world.
I completley blame parents for this. I have a 7 year old cousin and I usually take her on shopping trips when she visists because nobody else will. They usually will order all her stuff online or take her to Sephora. When she visited last time, she asked to go to Sephora and I said "have you heard of Clair's? Lets try it!" Shes easy going so she agreed, and she felt WAY more comfortable there than anywhere she's been. She got some ice cream earrings and a cupcake bag, perfect for a 7 year old. I don't understand why we are allowing these young children to get things that I wouldn't even buy...and I'm 26
It makes me want to cry when i see small kids below 14 freaking out about makeup, skincare, vapes and s@x… its the schools, peer pressure and lack of control from the government.. the parents are usually unable to do anything
My friends and I shopped at Claire’s a while back for hair accessories and a play wedding veil since we were doing a fake wedding. We also go into fanloli sometimes too and at the mall we just tend to have fun. Hot Topic is another fav of ours. We’re all in high school btw. I wish kids could have fun like this still :(
@@emiliereal1520 I am 31 myself (almost 32), and unfortunately because of the rise of amazon and buying stuff online it caused a lot of good stores to close and malls to become ghost towns. Malls used to be filled with stores like Claire's, hot topic, and other stores that catered heavily to pre-teens. And malls had food courts with McDonalds, Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, and Auntie Annes and other fast food places depending on where you lived. Claire's was the place to get your ears pierced, Hot Topic while it catered to darker aesthetic (gothic, punk, emo) they did carry a lot of band merch. You could go to the mall with your mom or another female relative, go shopping with them at the pre-teen specific stores and stores like sears and target (celebrities used to do collabs that would be released at sears and target), and maybe stop in at bath and body works if you were into the super scented stuff. Then you could finish the shopping trip off with some McDonalds or Taco Bell for dinner and a Blizzard from Dairy Queen as a dessert. Malls were a place you could meet up with your friends and have an adult chaperone or two with you, but like I said malls have become ghost towns as "brick and mortar" stores became redundant with more and more people buying their stuff online and having it directly shipped to them.
@@Januarymash678I disagree, if the child is supported morally, spiritually, etc. they wouldn't need external validation from others outside their family. Also, Who cares? Children can be exactly the same in everyway and perfect. They'll still find something to pick on you about at any age. That's why you shouldn't care what others think.
I went to Claire's recently. I bought a pink lemonade pusheen plush. named her lemon. What's a drunk elephant again? Why is the elephant drunk? how does an elephant even get drunk?! Huhhhh???? (Jk I know what it is I just never saw the appeal. Like gurl. you're a tiny pathetic child. You don't need to look any younger)
I can attest by offline observation that MOST kids actually still experience a preteen phase. Just because it's online and viral, doesnt mean it's automatically reality.
I agree, but based on observations of middle schoolers I’ve seen, there def are some skipping that. I think it’s only the ones with older siblings/who are on social media at a very young age.
Oh my god, it’s so sad to me that kids today won’t know the joy of getting to run through the isles of ToysRUs, after begging our parents for the toy we’ve been seeing in commercials for weeks!
Something parents can do to help is using a toy store like you mention. Every year they can take their child to a toy store on their birthday and give them a set budget to spend. What that does is obviously 1- excite them about toys and seeing the physical toys in the store and 2- gives them a sense of spending physical money as opposed to just typing in a number on the computer or phone and having it come in the mail and 3- shows them that money is actually valuable and budgets are a healthy way to live. Having toys come in the mail any time of year I feel like makes kids think that stuff literally grow on trees 😂 that's what I do and my kids love their birthday so much because they know they can go pick out whatever they want at the toy store and they can see their money come and go. It might seem like an obvious or simple thing to do but if you really think about it, online shopping is another thing that really impacted whole generations and helps feed into the overconsumption problem.
The “short childhood” phenomenon isn’t new, though it has become much worse. In 2007 at a sleepover, my best friend’s 11 year old classmates were making an oatmeal mask to “make wrinkles go away”. I tried telling them they don’t need that yet, we’re children. They lied down with cucumber slices on their eyes and went completely silent. So I grabbed one of the slices off a girl’s eye and ate it. Everyone immediately showed their age then, running around giggling and throwing oatmeal at each other.
That is part of the pre-teeny phase. Experimenting with things you see adults do, even if you don't know why or how. I'm happy to hear it turned into fun. That's not childish, which many teens forget. That having fun is human, not childish. ❤❤❤🎉🎉😊
@@jaegrant6441 those girls in particular had an unhealthy, years-long obsession with getting out of childhood and were not fun. So it was pretty great to have fun with them that time 😄 And you’re absolutely right, fun is universal ❤️
@@jaegrant6441 fun is also subjective. Naturally to some people going to Sephora is more fun than going to Claire's, and taking care of your fashion taste is more fun than letting loose. Don't judge other people
So I do admit Iam turning 13 in a few months. I clicked on this video to see what people are saying about us now. I actually really enjoyed this video. It was very neutral defending kids but also proving the point to. I also take this as a wake up call. My parents have always been strict on my time online and shows and movies I watch and never got me a phone yet. I am now so grateful they haven’t gotten me a phone, only buy me just a few make up product, buy me teen safe skin care that I need, and don’t let me watch adult stuff. I do think I will start to spend less time on the internet now. Thank you
also the people who recorded these kids with the intent of making fun of them 😭😭 like bro you’re not helping by filming a random 11 year old without permission
More like the parents' fault for letting the kid's watch influencers. Those influencers' content isn't made for kids, and they can't really control who watches it
There has always been a pressure to grow up too fast - I was bullied by same age girls for having barbies and polly pockets at 7 years old. I was bullied for not shaving my legs at 11. Its up to parents and teachers to set the standard, reassure kids and help tackle bullying.
This is all so true! Now that Bryan and I are in our late 20s. He was a former Bully, eons ago I didn't know about his physical and mental abuse from his parents. We were just kids. That one day when I gave him my house number we talked to each other almost every day. Until we remet in our early 20s. He is such a sweet and strong person! I'm really proud of him for seeking help when he needed it. Most or even some kids will act out as bullies for various reasons, that other children will not comprehend. I'm really happy that after junior high school graduation he asked me out. I kindly replied "here's my number. Call me when you turn 20 yrs, once you are a bit more mature" He asked me again last year to be his girlfriend and I said "yes!" Obviously, not every boy or girl out there will get their mind and other stuff together. We are still learning and maturing as we age. I hope that more young boys and girls do learn from past mistakes. And forgive ones who hurted them, and forgive themselves for things they could not control.
I’m not sure that this true across the board. When I was 10, I was mad that my mom MADE me give away my Barbie doll collection. And my mom MADE wear underwear that didn’t have ruffles anymore once I went into 6th grade. I was on the immature side and I didn’t care. I liked what I liked and no one could have told me otherwise. I liked scented lotions and body sprays that smelt like cotton candy but that didn’t mean I ever felt the need to get anything on the mature side.
Lol a girl tried to bully me for still wearing sports bras instead of a regular bra like the "rest of them" in the locker room (middle school), my mom and the coach told me "girl! next time she does that you tell her off! Its not a big deal and you wear what you want to wear" and I did just that. Girl wimped out and left me alone. What I learned? If you're firm and sure of yourself, bullies will leave you alone. They thrive on insecurities coz they have their own, so they wanna see others suffer from theirs. And jokes on her coz come High School, I grew some big honkers. Not that it makes me better than her, but they were certainly jealous, and they let me know by making fun of me. I just shrugged it off and lived my life.
@@eli3silverI think many parents aren’t raising their children to stand firm on their believes and teaching confidence. I’m glad you were taught those things as was I!! ❤
Same. I got bullied for wearing K-Mart granny sweatshirts with kittens and bears on them starting in 4th grade. I told them to leave me alone, and all that did was result in all of my school supplies being stolen and my locker being broken into. I also went to a ghetto school, but that's a different story...
It's always the way. You long to be older, until you are, then you wish you appreciated it more. I felt the same in my 20s. And my 20s were very hard. But at the same time they were so much easier than now in many ways. In other ways life is easier. We have to learn to find contentment wherever we are. ❤❤❤❤
It does seem weird that a lot of younger Millennials and older Gen Z are trying to hold on to childhood while some of these Gen Alpha girls are trying to lose it. Can't say that I know the cause though
Hi Im apart of “the kids these days” generation I LOVE CLARES!!! I really like bright colors and clustered fashion, tho I am not wearing unicorn t-shirts, I love being creative I do scroll from time to time, but I like to crochet , draw, sing, and act TWEENS ARE NOT GONE!!!
YES OMG 14 and exploring the goth/alt fashion! I’m finally getting out there and exploring more styles but I still shy away from makeup XD I love to draw, ski, and shoot my bow! I do like TH-cam (not allowed on ticktock lol) but I have hobbies, love music, and know how to entertain myself!
@@Plvsh_foxSameee :3 I love reading, writing and poetry!! I have insta but I don’t post any pics. I just use it to talk to my school friends. I’m exploring my identity too, I loveee alt fashion
My thirteen year old niece has a skincare routine and a large collection of makeup and skincare products. She’s addicted to tiktok, fashion and influenced by her friends shopping habits. When I was thirteen, I had no idea what a skincare routine was and had no interest in makeup. These girls now look like they are in their twenties
my first teaching job, half of my third graders wore squid game merch to school.... i can't believe allowing an 8 year old to watch something that gory.
squid game was also popular in kids content even when the actual thing came out so it could be that, also i was allowed to watch like r rated movies when i turned 10 so it could just be the personal preference of parents.. although i hope they skipped the bathroom scene
I was born in ‘90 and when I was in high school I babysat for a family and they weren’t allowed to watch much TV but the oldest daughter loved to read and I remember when she was 8 or 9 and crying about the girls at school and all they talked about was the TV shows they watched and none of them read and she had nothing to talk to them about. I can’t imagine how much worse this has gotten. And we long for them to connect over cable TV shows these days.
I was also born in the 90’s and my school seemed to be split into genres: nerds who dressed like kids and talked about books vs. normies who dressed like preteens and talked about shows. Of course there were people who fit into both categories in different ways, but I remember being firmly on the book side, not knowing any of the references people made to shows, and thinking about how I wouldn’t know how to dress like a normal preteen even if I wanted to. But at least I wasn’t the *only one*. My school at least had other book nerds even if most of them had seen the shows they approached it like “oh that show is lame anyway, it’s good that you haven’t seen it”.
It was a mix at my school. We didn't have cable in my house, so we definitely weren't watching the same shows, but we had other things in common (video games, board games, books, hangout spots, etc.). We also had the "preppy" girls who were obsessed with fashion and makup, but it wasn't nearly as prevalent, and a lot of those girls were superficial and fake and everyone knew it. Not so much the case today when everyone is "trending" with social media.
1990 baby here, I’m 34 now, and had a VERY strict and limiting mom as to what I was allowed to watch. Let’s just say I watched a lot of PBS. And Star Trek shows (approved ones) that my mom liked. I was allowed to watch Lizzie McGuire in grades 7-9, but that was about it for when I was supervised. Alone, I definitely watched more of what was age appropriate (like That’s So Raven and Even Stevens) when they weren’t home… movies were also very limited. I didn’t watch The Little Mermaid until I was 10…at a friend’s house…and don’t even get me started on music. If it wasn’t classical, or perhaps Christian rock, it simply wasn’t allowed. Period. I lucked out in finding a group of girls in my junior high/high school that for many of us, are still in frequent contact with at our ages of 33/34 now. Still missed out on a bit, but at least at my Christian school, more families were closer to my own mom’s values/limitations, although few were that strict. Thank goodness my province mandates health curriculum in grades 5 and onwards because my mom did not tell me anything: I mean. Nothing. No period talk, I had to request deodorant and a bra when I felt pressured to, had to buy and hide my razors and later tampons on my own from babysitting money (sometimes my older sister took me shopping and that helped). So I guess I feel that there is a healthy balance, my mom went way too far one way, but many kids have been flung too far the other way now. And it’s sad.
when i was like 7 i got made fun of for watching nick jr because everyone else at the time was watching the walking dead and shit like that and they’d act like they were normal for watching adult shows while i was weird for watching shows meant for my age 💀
Even using the internet i had hard time making friends cuz most girls my age already had instagram accounts and posted regularly & talking about their favorite influencers and all Menwhile there was me over in the corner with my minecraft parody music viedos & machinimas lol
This is a rich people/children problem. It was the same in the 90s. I went to a fancy middle school and all the kids were very concerned about brands and makeup. My own kids are now growing up in a very poor school system (classmates can only eat one meal a day-poor). The kids seem happily oblivious of trends etc. Childhood is alive and well, but it has never really existed in the upper classes
True but also not true. Kids in poor families are a lot more likely to end up in drug related trouble, I went to a school with a large majority of poor Native American families. Poor people often fall into drug situations especially when older family is already involved, these kids were getting killed and shit at 14. Poverty also takes away childhood in other ways. A lot of kids also developed obsessions with sexuality to act older just like the rich kids do
@CherrySteinz I should say working class and not poor. It's become synonymous in this economy unfortunately. But you're right that the worst kind of growing up fast definitely happens in poor families
Not in Germany 🤣 the more ghetto/poor it gets the more the girls and boys dress like adults and do Chaya make up. I grew up an immigrant myself and somewhat poor but I was always into the elegant stuff and into history so thank God it didn’t affect me that much. The only make up I knew was mascara lol
@@CherrySteinzit’s the parents fault not bc they’re poor, you make it sound like all poor people end up being drug addicts whereas in the west it’s the rich class that does that Back then the poorest had more class and dressed better than the average person today let that sink in 🤔 I’m an immigrant in Germany (western country, quite rich) and believe me I grew up with more morals and I had a religious compass and I was poor back then whereas the richer German kids did as they pleased, drugs, alcohol, heavy parties, quite a decadent lifestyle but it is trendy if you do it as a rich Western kid but if poor (also Western) kids do it they’re failures 🤡💀
Got to say as a young guy this kind of shit is terrifying. people will already happily call a guy a pedophile for talking to a girl who is 17 when he is 18 and you have 13-year-olds out here doing their makeup and dressing like they are in their 20s
Yeah it's vile and pandering to the sexualisation of teens especially. However, you can still tell these people are that age. They do NOT act like adults of have the emotional maturity of them. As soon as they open their mouth and move it's apparent they are absolutely under 18.
THIS!!! Im a tween and EVERYONE I know has TikTok, Snapchat, and even instagram!! (I only have TH-cam and Pinterest, and a screen time limit) and it’s sad because whenever I’m at a sleepover all my friends do is watch TikTok, or go an Snapchat. I wanna be able to have fun during this time, to play outside, play bored games, talk about birthday parties, and to have fun without it being called cringe!!! That’s another thing, everyone calls EVERYTHING cringe. It’s so annoying. And like you said, kids in my school are so inappropriate!! They joke s3x and inappropriate topics all the time. One girl said she (I’m not going to say this word) “does bad stuff” to 5 year olds…people thought that was funny…but basically I wanna be able to have a “cringe” tween years, find my fashion taste, make new friends, and just have fun without being called cringe :( Sorry for talking so much I know no one’s gonna read this but still I like writing my thoughts down!! If you do this have an AMAZING life!!! 😋
I’m so frustrated for you. As a nerdy kid at a “selective” private k-12 school almost a decade ago it was hard enough for me to make friends. I can’t imagine trying to bond with feral, phone addicted kids at your age. Is there any chance there’s a better magnet or public charter in your area that your parents would let you switch to? Or maybe an online public school and pick up so extra curricular where you could meet likeminded kids your age? In my midsized city, there are multiple local craft/sewing shops and gaming stores that have classes and meetups just for tweens/teens.
Please tell an adult you trust about the girl doing bad stuff to 5 year olds. Good for you wanting something different from the other kids, I hope you find some friends that want the same things as you!
@@AmzThePhenom Oh sorry for the misunderstanding, the girl said she does it but she doesn’t actually, she means it as a “joke” I’ve told a teacher and she got silent lunch for a week, but that’s it
@@LGrianadvising anyone to go to a charter school is absolutely wild 😂 no where anywhere in any of the videos on this topic would anyone with any common sense say the answer is to say down with public school up with private.. this is also insanely classist
Parents can raise their kids within the walls of their house how they want, but their kids will make friends in school (and in general being social) that will influence them in plenty of good and bad ways. That's why these trends could sneak up on people who "raise their kids right" - you can understand the issue with them as a parent, but there's still bound to be pressure on your kids in their social circle unless you try to control their friendships and relationships. Which we obviously know ain't gonna work out!
@@MrsGarcia_x it is terrifying in some ways, but at least for myself I can say my friends made me a better person in ways my parents couldn't - more aware of my privilege and more willing to put work into my relationships. My parents have even benefitted from this! So while it is terrifying (the thought of bad influences), there must be ways to keep your kids' trust in your relationship so that they can filter what their peers bring them into positive changes.
@@dorothitwagstaff6513yes! Positive peer pressure exists. And at the end of the day, you’re raising a human being. You’re kid yes, but they’ll be out in the world too. All you can truly control long term is the morals and life lessons and model good behavior at home ❤
I'm not sure why everyone in the world thinks that you are forced to put your kids in public school. And to let your kids hang out with whoever they want. Minors can't control things like that it's the parents rights to decide who they hang out with. I know plenty of people who were homeschooled or private schooled and they are completely normal people. Everyone thinks homeschool kids or private school kids are "weird" or antisocial but they aren't.
Very true. My 8 year old eldest son. Has no access to social media. Yet came home saying he had seen skibidi toilet. When i looked at it i was genuinely mortified. I said banned even discussing in house. U cant control everything unfortunatly. So just do best you can
Im a 15 year old, and i have a ten year old sister, and let me just say, while there are some kids like this, it is not the norm, or very common. I think this whole viewpoint on this new generation is largley based on only an online expierience. My sister and all of her friends are all just regular kids, they play make belive and build forts, they are avid readers, and play with lego and dolls, and yes she has an ipad she watches a show on every once and a while, but its really not as bad as its made out to be.
I'm an (almost) 11 year old, and I still play everyday and I read, I'm not addicted to iPads and I don't use makeup like the stereotype that the Internet has made for kids in my generation and my age.
Yeah it's just like when I was a teenager and all the adults were saying we were doing these ridiculous things nobody was doing. Remember this when you grow up and don't repeat the cycle!
Hi, thanks for your reply. I don't really plan for my kids to spend a lot of time on social media when they're older, and so it's nice to know they won't be alone. :)
The mention of banning phones in primary schools and outside of lessons in secondary has me floored. In the UK, it was NO PHONES at all in primary, and NO PHONES until afterschool at secondary. And I'm not old. I'm 22. I was in secondary in the last decade. I had to hide my iPhone 4 in my blazer pocket to browse wattpad during school lunchtimes. The fact some schools allow it is so wild to me.
I went to school where phones were banned in the US all through elementary to high school. I would have to hide my phone so it wouldn’t get taken away where a parent would have to come and get it, and I would sneak using it in school throughout my education. I’m also 22… so things have changed recently and it might be because of COVID. I’ve finished college, university and I’m in graduate school for my PhD and the students’ interests may have absolutely changed since I was in primary and secondary school.
9!? That's crazy... my daughter is 8 and has 0 skincare routine, 0 social media and has no interest. She plays with dolls and hunts for woodlouse outdoors. She won't be having a phone either, all parents in her primary school have signed up to the 'smartphone free childhood' movement so no child feels left out!
I have 8 year old daughter too and another mom just told me our little girls are the only ones who like paw patrol movie. I don’t doubt it, no phones= child hood
Teen fashion wasn't even a thing until the 50's or 60's. Marketing to kids in general is still a new concept and pre teens are an even newer avenue than that. It's the wild west of marketing!
Agree! But the concept of teenager before then did not even exist. Many girls got married off at 14-18, and everyone was just “young adults.” (I may be speaking from personal experience but my great grandma was married at 14, and many other people were too.)
I think there's a book about marketing to kids that I might have read. The name is escaping me, but I know there's a bit of a trend at times towards anti-consumerism, but not enough of one.
@@Sillygoose1133 yeah I feel like as much as limiting the minimum age of marriage is such a huge blessing to society, it did kinda made this stage of life a little bit too infantalized, now we're just returning to original form I guess?
‘06 baby here. I am so glad to have missed (most!) of this. I didn’t get a phone until I was 14 and even still I feel a little robbed of a proper ‘awkward phase’. Can’t imagine how it must be for these babies who were handed iPads the moment they could hold their own head up. I’m definitely holding on to all my old kids magazines & dvds… gonna try to do better for my own kids someday
As a ‘07 who was given an iPad/phone for as long as I can remember I know it messed me up but it definitely helped me socially. Though, I had a hard time caring about social media because I used it so early on. By the time my friends were creating their first accounts, I was deleting my second or third accounts (depending on the app) and now the only social media I use is TH-cam. And I don’t post, so I’d hardly call it a social media (for me.) I’ve never had problems socially but I grew up hearing, watching, and personally seeing the horror stories of social media, which led me to want to avoid it now. Because these kids are using social media so young, I don’t know how long they’ll stay on the sites since it was something they did as a kid. Or at least, that’s how I’ve seen it.
A good thing to remember when discussing things like this is that not every kid is on TikTok and TH-cam shorts and not every kid is from America. It varies wildly-in some places, more people are “Sephora girls” or consumption obsessed. In others, kids are just…kids. A lot of people are quick to assume 6 American caucasian teens they see on their feeds and assume that everyone in their generation’s exactly the same.
I don't think the point was that kids are all the same as what's on TikTok... just that when regular kids see that stuff it is influencing them to feel bad about themselves, to feel like they need something other than what they have to be cool or pretty or popular, or that they are weird for not being a picturesque mini-adult. It's having detrimental effects on kids because they are constantly being told that's the way to be, something that is completely unobtainable for 99% of kids is being glamorized and glorified. Most parents dont have the money to buy their kid 500 products from Sephora, or get them a new trend thing every week.
@@badcaseofstripesbut their main point, which was a good point, is that this is not reality for most kids. It's mostly just kids in America. And even then, most kids in America are not like this. If 1,000 out of 1 million kids are dressing like adults and wearing makeup, watching adult shows, etc. and all 1,000 kids are posting about it online, it looks like all kids are like that. But they're not. And the reality is that kids today will still not care about certain things like Stanley cups, or anti aging skincare, or expensive makeup, and will actively make fun of the ones who obsess over that stuff because that's seen as lame.
Most kids that are not into inappropriate material are homeschooled....that's the difference. There's been a home-school boom thank God. More parents actually looking to parent their kids. Parent: it's not only a noun.
That Stanley cup parent totally missed an opportunity to teach her child self-esteem, self confidence, and not to seek approval from her friends for her self-worth. Choose better friends so she could be herself!
One thing that I feel like is important to touch in is how this is seen more prevalently in upper class communities. The school I teach in is majority below the poverty line and though the kids have seen very hard things in their life they still look and act like preteens. Learning to use deodorant, trying to keep their hair from frizzing, finding clothes that fit right. The ones that you see online are the ones that are online. So when you’re not around preteens a lot it seems like the amount of kids maturing to fast is crazy high but it’s skewed. Many of my kids don’t have phones. Though they are still more grown than I ever was. Not negating what you’re saying just another point.
As a younger Gen Z I 100% agree, I moved around all of my middle school years and I've gone to low income and high income schools. I think both communities still have that awkward preteen phase but the higher income kids try to like idk "compensate" for their age with their expensive mature products and clothes and acting grown on tiktok. Meanwhile they still do embarrassing things and make loads of mistakes as any preteen does. Idk if that made any sense but I definitely agree that the super grown acting preteens you see online are the minority in real life.
I agree, though I think it's fair to point out that a lot of poor kids are still going to be constantly exposed to the fake rich kid lifestyle trends, which are more powerful than ever. I'm 26 and I was homeless and poor growing up and still saw that kind of stuff, felt envious and sad because my life was nothing like that, I looked nothing like those other girls and couldn't afford anything. Everything felt unobtainable and it felt almost wrong or shameful to be just a kid without all that extra stuff.
Exactly. The kids you see on social media are a self selecting group. The kids who act like kids aren’t the kids you’ll be seeing wearing crop tops and doing tik tok dances, and they aren’t the ones people will be talking about because they won’t stand out.
making up term "preteen" is forcing people to grow up faster. preteens are 13-14, like they're officially teens but they're just entering this phase. everyone under 13 is a kid
That’s the key is not allowing them to have phone until they are older. We live in an upper class neighborhood but I’m not allowing my 3 daughters to have phones or social media because I’m aware of the dangers
yeah, id imagine the on-the-ground employees wouldn't want them to be there, but to the higher up management, its just more profit for them :( Sorry you have to do extra work, I know little kids can be messy often, and makeup is... definitely something that will make a mess
Hell, minus the acne, everyone should indulge in those aforementioned activities that you mentioned as being a phase, regardless if they are older than preteen, at any age! Why? Because believe it or not, that shit is good and healthy for them, mentally, especially in this trying world.
Whilst my daughter is not near being a preteen yet (she's 7) she will wear mismatched clothes and when I once mentioned it didn't match she replied it's fine because I like it. I keep her away from all the Instagram crap and hope she keeps that mentality going forward
I’m younger and I hate the fact people are doing that because i don’t have that much money and i have to make that money to fit in and i wish we still normalized those things because i grew up on the and i just wish it lasted longer
Everyone's trying to grab your kids through their electronic devices for various reasons. We need to protect them from influencers and companies that benefit from the innocence and ignorance.
It's easy to blame parents but like another reply said, attention is the most valuable currency, and these companies are using every tool to grab your kids as life-long consumers. If it's not their phones, it's their friends, family members, public advertising, loss of community and protection, etc.
Yeah. But the problem is the kids want to fit in so they won't be bullied, and the parents give in because they don't want their kids to be bullied for being the only ones without something all the others have.
As a 15 year old I am glad to say that I didn’t skip the preteen stage, but a lot of my peers and my younger siblings definitely did and it’s honestly so sad to watch children around you not wanting to act like children because it apparently is “embarrassing”
@@Burbee1511 please do. Go outside, climb a tree, don’t be afraid to experiment with what clothes YOU like, instead of what the internet tells you to like!
I’m the same age and when I was a preteen me and the other kids my age most certainly had this phase. I got my first phone for my 11th birthday and it was one of those old like iPhone 4s or something. I was pretty cringe back then but I’m glad I had that phase because it helped me learn about myself and the world around me. Now I see kids that are like 8 dressing older than I dress and being iPad kids and I’m so glad that I’m gen z. It’s super important to have this phase and yeah it’s sad that kids nowadays don’t seem to have it
Last school year right before I became a teen, me and my friend were just rolling down a hill outside the school during recess and got made fun of by other kids because of it?!?! 😭. just let kids be kids in peace
@@pancake-yum good for you! I hope y'all had fun! Ignore the people making fun, they're just too miserable with their own lives to appreciate the simple joys.
As a guy, Victoria’s Pink absolutely saved me when I had a full leg cast when I broke my tibia/fibula. It was the only store that sold pants that could go over it comfortably and the workers were so kind/understanding of the situation. I don’t have those purple pants anymore but I remember them fondly, despite well…the horrible pain of a broken leg.
I got made fun of as a child/preteen because my mom was still getting my clothes at this children’s store called “please mum” while a lot of my peers got their clothes from places Abercrombie and Hollister. My mom’s response to my pleas was “when you have your own money, you can decide where you get your clothes”. So I got a job. My point is, kids are mean no matter what you wear, what you look like, and what you do. You will spend your whole life trying to fit in, so I hope that when my kids grow up I won’t succumb to the pressures and will be able to instil the same life lessons into them that I got
My mom gave me her credit card once so I can buy something from Hot Topic. I bought these black skinny jeans that she thought were ugly and over priced, which they were, but I wore those jeans just about every day until I out grew them
I was born in '00 so I got to experience the kind of shift between when pre-teen stores were around, there was significant media, etc etc and the beginning of when technology got really big with things like youtube. At 24 now and planning on having a child, its terrifying to know that even if I try my best to introduce my kid to all the pre-teen things and help them best to also be able to fit in with their friends, this is an inevitable thing I can't avoid. I know things like this happen every generation but something about the tech era just makes it seem a lot scarier than past generations. But I'm also only 24 so I can't say for certain. Great video, a great way to open my eyes to bigger issues like this on top of the school system, ipad kids, senora etc etc. I also feel there is also a lot less third places (like the mall, skating rinks, etc,) for preteens and just teens in general to go to anymore since covid and online has made it less accessible for them.
I was too poor to afford what all my friends did. This taught me that I didn’t need to “keep up with the Jones’s” in order to feel a sense of self worth. I still live very frugally and I could care less what people think of what I wear. I think this life lesson was very valuable for me.
I also feel it's important to keep in mind, that the concept of a "teenager" didn't exist until the 1930s or 40s and preteens even later. After 13 you pretty much became a small adult. I think these lifestyles that we think of as "the good ol' days" are much more recent and, evidently, shorter lived than we remember. Despite this, I still think the idea of preteens and teenagers has been beneficial to human development.
I know that's this is not the point of this comment but all I can think of is someone shouting "get off tik tok and head up this chimney" if the two combined
Just because it became a thing in recent past doesn’t mean we should revert backwards. We’re not in a culture where men are being drafted into wars & women are getting married off in young teen years
As a mother this is constantly on my mind. How I can preserve my daughters’ childhoods. I went through a lot of far too sobering things for a child (the war, being refugees, immigration, etc) yet I was innocent despite that and remember playing with toys and Barbies in particular until nearly 13.
@@NivesScott I still collect dolls and play with them from time to time... I'm in college. Although now usually it's more of a sewing/crocheting kind of play. I probably own more dolls now than I did as a kid.
Retinol on skin that isn't even done yet is WILD lol Also, I really hate thinking that kids are on the same social media that makes adults in their 30's miserable, saturated with creepy people, and depressed by overwhelming negativity
Right!? I can’t believe it. I’ve seen girls with hotpants and crop tops walking with their parents while men stare at the girls! I always ask myself what these parents are thinking.
Honestly, if the parents are fine with it, then it shouldn’t be any of your concern. If people are looking creepily at them then that’s on their part, not the kid’s.
@@Bellabirdtheoneandonly This! Yes if the parents are fine with them wearing those items then it’s on the parent. Unfortunately theirs no denying theirs creeps out there.
the woman at 8:30 saying "if you can help your kid not being made fun of, you´re going to do it" seems so lost. The issue here is not that her daughter had the wrong cup, it´s that apparently her parents raised her to seek approval from her peers rather than from within herself and her family. The "wanting a Stanley cup" is just a symptom, the peerbonding is the actual issue they need to fix.
Children are going to naturally want to conform to their friends, it’s not unusual for a child to copy their peers, in fact developmentally speaking children and teens (particularly pre teens) tend to be more influenced by their peers than any other age group. It’s a milestone that is typical for most children. That’s not particularly the issue, it’s the fact that a CUP is the next big thing. Young people will nearly always want to be more adult to be taken seriously and to seem mature, even more so due to social media
@@Djdjndxjsnd I disagree. Yes there is a developmental stage where children are being more influenced by their peers in the early teenage years. However when the parental bonding is strong, this is usually not a big issue since the children get their reassurance, morals and role models from their own family. Peerbonding is extremely common because our institutions in the west specifically try to erode parental bonding. By encouraging parents to work, get divorced and send their kids to school where they are cooped in with 30 other peers and no real adult supervision, we are actively enforcing that natural tendency to orientate oneself toward peers in the teen years and making it so that the children rely ONLY or mostly on their peers. And then you get situations like this one.
@@DjdjndxjsndWho cares? Children can be exactly the same in everyway and perfect. They'll still find something to pick on you about at any age. That's why you shouldn't care what others think.
Yeah I was thinking the same. There's a time when we all wanted to conform to our peers. So I understand that part from the kid's perspective. But the parent has only enabled that by filling the void with consumerism. Avoid that's not going to be filled once that child reaches adulthood. Unless her parents are just very rich and giving her tons of stuff that she wants all her life. You have to learn to seek validation outside of marketing techniques because eventually when you reach the real world you have to start living your life and have an identity outside of the brands you buy.
Exactly my thoughts, I honestly reckon she missed out on a great opportunity to teach her daughter not to seek external validation and being happy for being unique and different
@@samanthawingard4031 Not quite. They were a little older when their tweenager-specific product lines were released. More mid-late teens. Dualstar's brand strategy 2001-2006 was specifically for preteens ("tweenagers") when MKA were themselves 15-21 because it was such a rich market to tap into. When they were preteens (8-12), their only products were media-based, not lifestyle/clothing/accessories. But the media products were still suitable for those who aged up with them. My initial point was that the products they created were for the "correct" age group using them, not like this video is illustrating with adult brands used by preteens. MKA being slightly older doesn't have an effect on my initial point, if that makes sense!
@@xBriarRose from preteen of 11 to 15 isn't a big jump at all. A 11 year old to use products for 33 year olds, which half these products are for. That's a jump.
@@samanthawingard4031 True. I'm very sorry, I'm not understanding your main point. MKA *were* marketing towards tweenagers specifically (even if they were of similar age themselves), therefore tweenages had a market available for them in the 00s, whereas now they do not, and are using products designed for other age groups. Why was MKA marketing towards a similar age group to themselves relevant to whom the products were targeted to? Even now, there are no tweenages marketing their tweenager products to other tweenagers.
Millenial parents can absolutely put a stop to this by refusing to give kids smart phones and not allow them to have access to social media. But they won't because that would require parenting and telling your kids no and giving them boundaries. I have two kids in the preteen stage and I am fighting like crazy to protect their innocense and awkwardness in this stage of life. Other kids pick on them for it but I will stand my ground.
i'm so glad that i am early gen z (born in 2004), it's so weird seeing the new generation in skin care aisles, and not acting like kids. they are doomed for real. looking back on it, im glad i wasn't able to have social media until i was like 15
Actually early Gen Z is 1997-99 (I was born in 2004 too, one of my cousins is from 1998). But anyway, I agree with your point. I did have my "awkward phase" at ages 11-13 and never really cared for social media, and I'm thankful for it
True, gen z here too. I remember that everyone end up acting the end of the world, because I don't have Instagram or Snapchat. And girls asked me a lot of tumes "You don't spend 1 or 2 hours at phone?!" Girl, I played Papa videogames in my mom's laptop. And I had to help around in farm house. Goats not gonna milk themselfs.
as a 16yo who isn’t allowed to have socials minus youtube, i can say that there actually are a lot of media that preteens could watch, but they’re cartoons mostly. but for some reason cartoons are frowned upon in the recent generation (ex. my eight (8) yo cousin called me a ‘baby’ for watching a y-10 cartoon) so they end up being really short lasting and/or cancelled. i won’t even go into detail about reading books cause oh GOD. as a dear book reader the colleen hoover and spice epidemic is just disappointing
I lot of special circumstances only up to luck are what makes a child learn to enjoy reading. And as every day passes, the chances of such a thing occuring become slimmer and slimmer.
when I was a preteen, I would make my own words and call them "slang" and me and my friends would draw fake wounds on our arms with all the red writing utensils we could find 😭😭 (this was only a few years ago!!)
Well done! I’m glad you can speak to this topic because there’s a greater chance that your generation can influence a change. The generation that is your parents age and who saw this a long time ago when it started are scoffed off as boomers and considered out of touch so therefore can’t influence in the way your generation can. It’s really sad how in a flash SM literally changed how humans mature. 😢. I’m happy to see that schools are banning SM in schools but I do have a concern that there’s nothing in place to fill the void? Maybe there is but just wasn’t mentioned? Either way, the trend is changing yet again and I hope it’s for the better because the negative effects are impacting all of society and the future is looking kinda wobbly. It’s like the world has morphed into a Tic Toc page. It’s creepy!
It was a good summary. It is completely crazy that we all agree that children are vulnerable, yet we have allowed the social media to ruin their lives. But maybe we didn’t know, didn’t predict that. Now we know. We must act. Stop being delusional, stop saying it’s gone to far to change that. We need to stop being selfish for sake of the children. I want my kid to not feel pressure to do all this stuff he is not ment to do and see. Be a parent. Stop sedating your kid with a screen.
As a psych major i love to look at things psychologically and according to Erikson’s stages, these pre teens are psychologically stunted forever in the identity confusion stage.
The Stanley cup reminds me of the Ugg boots trend! I was called out for having the knock off shoes. Why are kids feeling the need to dig at other kids?…. because their PARENTS FEEL THE NEED TO ONE UP EACH OTHER!! 😭😭
As a generation alpha/preteen, im aware im in an awkward phase and Im not ashamed. I watch cartoons, I play with toys, I wear hoodies, band t shirts, anime shirts, im literally wearing a spongebob shirt and guardians of the galaxy pants right now XD- My christmas list is baby dolls, legos, and video games, i didnt even know what sephora was until i watched this video?? Even though i get bullied for the way i am, i just remind myself that atleast im not like them. Ive had a horrible childhood and now that im 11 and things are getting better im trying to enjoy the rest of my childhood while it lasts. And who knows? Maybe ill act the same even when im an old grandma or something-? edit: kinda unrelated but hannah montana is such a good show i love the show and the movie
She crossed all the most important and critical points that were mentioned in this video, a good summary on what is happening as of recent times. good job, a little nostalgia at the “what tv shows are kids watching now?” Part
Parents know these shows are still available for preteens, right? The problem mostly lands on parents not caring about what their children are involved with.
Yeah, I'm 13 and girls in my grade (8th) are basically shorter 16 year-olds, and boys in my grade are no different aside from not having a diabolical beauty standard to themselves. My generation is, in the nicest of words, fucked.
I’m so sorry:( I feel like I saw the beginning of the decline when I was in school. I can’t believe how self aware you are of this issue at only 13. Granted I remember feeling quite mature around that age, but now I’m older I can see that with age comes more experiences, thus more wisdom and maturity.
You're so right about that. Boys get to do whatever they want and say whatever they want and they'll still be liked/popular. Girls always have to look a certain way and act a certain way. They say "don't be manly, don't be ugly, don't talk to much, sit up straight, fix your hair, stop putting on so much makeup, you need more skincare, your hair is frizzy, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're trying too hard, you look so gross, go buy these new clothes, go get these trendy things, you're too basic, you're so weird, you need makeup, you need lip filler, your boobs are small, your butt is small, nobody likes someone who isn't "natural", you're distracting the boys, you need to cover up, you look like a boy, why are you so ugly?" IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING. Everything about us is based on our looks.
My 10 year old is a very normal preteen. Like we used to be. She reads from the 8-12 book shelves, does not have a phone (of course) and has very normal interests for her age. Same with her friends.
I was very mature for my age. At age 12, I was reading books by James Baldwin and I learned so much. Im thankful for that experience because my parents treated me as an "underage infant" who has no rights. They would never have told me things about life that I learned by reading James Baldwin's books. By the time I reached high school, I read some books by John Rechy and that was a very exciting learning experience for me. I grew up in an abusive family and that takes away your innocence in a minute and makes you realize how serious life really is at a very young age. While youre all bragging about how "innocent" you all were, playing with your toys and dolls, just remember, not everyone has had the same life experience that you all claim to have had.
15:24 MONITOR what your kids consume! Yes, I know, it's a wild concept to actually parent your kids. But that avoids a lot of these "growing up too fast" issues. Also, TV still exists - you can get a digital antenna for pretty cheap and hook it up and get non-cable TV channels for free. Like PBS kids which is perfectly kid-friendly. And then (and this also goes if they are watching TH-cam or TikTok), sit next to them and watch what they are watching with them and talk about it with them. Don't let the technology babysit your kids. I feel like this all shouldn't need to be said, but it is the root of the problem. I'm a millennial parent and it's really not rocket science - just spend time with your kids.
I think the most simple explanation is that people are completely swarmed by marketing and advertising (and sucked in) more now than ever. The addictive qualities of social media are superior over tv or magazines, and advertising is so intertwined in the platforms we use now. Everyone is a super consumer. The content of the past for preteens has no appeal now, you can't suck a kid into a magazine like tiktok can. The addictive nature of these apps means brands can get away with more ads until content becomes irrelevant, so everyone just buys more and more. Sure everyone wants to fit in by buying certain things, but that's how they get you. These platforms are not your small friend group you're keeping up with - you're trying to keep up with all of society. You see everyone, it's unattainable and you'll just be blowing your money (and your sense of self) for the rest of your life. My best piece of advice is just go outside, for the love of god, take your kids backpacking or something. I don't know any other antidote to all this.
When we are confronted by the majesty, power, and splendor of our natural world, we realise how small we really are. Being humble creates the ground for happiness to bloom. When we are constantly surrounded by the might of human capabilities, we tend to forget how small we are. We begin to think we are more than nature, that we are the conquers, divine. And the resulting ego leaves us always feeling unfulfilled and searching for more. Is what I've found whenever I find myself in the mountains or big forests. ❤🌏
What are kids supposed to do? On the one hand they're being pressured to mature, on the other they're being pressured to "act their age" (whatever that means!) Why not just... stop pressuring kids in general and encourage them to choose what they prefer? THAT is what's "developmentally appropriate" to them as individuals. You know what I was interested in as an 11 year old? Goth, punk rock, and learning about mature topics like drugs and sex with 100% online browsing freedom. You know what I never did? Hard drugs. Irresponsible sex. Thank Google I knew what I was dealing with. You know what I didn't care about, at the time, whatsoever? Being like an adult. I cared about my fantasy universe, Neopets, Green Day, helping animals, and crushing on boys. My idols were adults targeting adult/teen audiences but they were good influences regardless!
in all those commentary, there's a very normative idea of what preteen should be and what they were. I liked Disney channel but I was annoyed at how low stake everything was (my favorite Hannah Montana moments were the ones talking about her dead mom), I didn't care about teen idol magazines and didn't like being pressured to listen to Tokyo Hotel cuz "trendy", I never dared try makeup because I saw how other girls talked about those who weren't good at makeup. I didn't want to follow trend, but girls still wanted me to wear skinny jeans. Those commentary are probably made by the girls who were normals and had plenty of friends. Which is fine, but they forget all the girls they ignored.
@@Coeurlarme I was a tomboy and had no fashion sense at that age and didn't care. I was in a great private school with lots of other autistic kids and had some genuinely good friends whom I made fun of the snobby popular "girly girls" with. Mind you, we had to wear uniforms (the norm in New Zealand), which definitely helped ease the pressure.
Yeah, this video and this entire comment section is insane to me. The purpose of a parent is to GUIDE their children through the CHILD'S journey in life. Times are different, technology just exploded and is still advancing like crazy, so it's understandable that parents are freaking out over stuff like this. At the same time though, it really isn't that big a deal. Every generation comes into a world that is new to even us, and parents are meant to use their experiences to help their children find their footing, not force those exact experiences onto the child. Videos like these feel like people just want to shut their kids away from the world because everything is "oh so evil." Trying to force the children of today to live like the children of yesterday is a tragedy in its own right -- a sign of mass hysteria and a complete disregard for the intelligence and autonomy that children have. There are very real issues that come with the internet and social media, but these issues aren't anything we haven't faced before, they've just taken new forms. In the end, every parent of every generation will have their doubts, but placing the blame almost solely on forces outside of our control is unhelpful and, ironically, incredibly immature.
It’s also genuinely so discouraging as a 15 year old girl when there’s 14, 13, hell even some 11 year olds look older/prettier than me. I’m not allowed to wear makeup, shorts, tight/short shirts ect because my parents. It’s damaging when all these girls have glowing skin, cute clothes and super thin body’s and I’m just. There. Not pretty, not too ugly, just there. Acne faced, annoying tummy that won’t go away, and poofy hair. It’s all I think about when I’m outside of my house.
I understand you so much. It's so hard to feel pretty when there's multiple girls my age or even younger that fit the beauty standard more than me, and they're always the popular ones who follow trends. Being in middle school to high school is so awkward and tiring, you can never be pretty, popular, or strong enough. But these years will go by faster than you think, and you'll grow into your body. Acne and fat are normal when your body is changing. Just make sure to eat lots of healthy foods, exercise often, and get enough sleep. You can experiment with different styles to find your own personal style so you'll always look good even if you aren't showing skin. Remember, confidence is key! Never listen to anyone trying to put you down and instead focus on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself!
ok with the poofy hair do u have curly hair? sry im not trying to make u feel awful at all, i used to have poofy hair and nobody acknowledged it was curly, when i started taking care of it as if it was curly, i felt sm better and ur hair will be happy.
Hey, it's going to be okay. I've been there. For religious reasons, I can't wear the shorts and tight/crop shirts either and couldn't when I was wearing up. Could wear makeup but never encouraged and I didn't own any until I was 18. I'm in my early 20s now and in college. There's been so many beauty standard changes even in the last 6 or so years I've been online. Seriously, you aren't going to win and they aren't either. Find your niche and enjoy it. The fashion rat race will do nothing but make you broke trying to catch up. My classes in college still have the trendy girls with their gorgeous hair and perfect outfits. At least one is a self-proclaimed shopping addict. The others I know are spending a ton, just doing the math on the trendy coffee alone. They're also in a LOT of student debt. My college is paid for, but even if it was otherwise I'd still be coming out ahead because I saved up instead of shopping sprees. Most modern clothes aren't worth the price anyway, from a quality standpoint. And there's still a lot of ways to stay on trend or look good with modesty restrictions. I crochet, so I've made myself a sweater to layer. The style is a popular one on tiktok right now. Layering might be a potential compromise for the short shirts, although I was never allowed to. Color can also do a lot to change your appearance without revealing more of your body. There's a lot of tutorials on YT about how to pick. Good hair care and a haircut suited for you can help tame the poof. It doesn't need to be fancy, just appropriate for your hair type. Haircuts and accessories can help give a little pop to your face without actual makeup. Like I have blue eyes, so a certain shade of blue earring or shirt works wonders for me. About shoulder length hair frames my face perfectly but otherwise my face looks super long. If you want to get around hairdye restrictions, your hair likely has some undertones that can be emphasized by your clothing color. I have some red and gold in my dishwater blonde hair, so burnt orange brings it out. And if you are wanting to show your figure off, or fake one, there are ways to modestly emphasize that. A loose blouse tucked into a stiff a-line can give an illusion of a thinner waist. The right shape of jeans, necklines, all of that changes how you look. Make sure your clothes fit right too. Actually fit, not as tight as humanly possible. It also really helped me to find examples online. My "style inspiration" IG accounts tend to dress as strict as I do, often more. Even if I don't actually like their outfits, it helps me feel normal and not the only one. There's currently/recently some trends that are modest. I find keeping up with those helpful. Layering for the sweaters, looser jeans, bows, pastel pink coquette. On body types- you are still so young. You're still growing. Being super thin isn't something to aspire to. A body that's underweight can lead to lifelong, potentially deadly consequences. I've had an ED before and now I'm not sure whether I'll ever be able to have children. Plus there's also all the heart problems, bone density issues (huge hazard at your age), and digestive issues that others have ended up with. Not worth it. The short term symptoms are honestly really annoying too. And during that mess, with almost no body fat, I still had a small bump because female organs make us stick out there. It's literally just female human anatomy at a certain point. Let your body settle out (early 20s at the earliest probably) THEN get worried about it. Unless it's for health, and then you would want a doc/nutritionist to tell you if there's anything that's actually a problem. Hormones will partially control weight gain/where the weight goes so growing up really will help. I get it. It's frustrating. It still frustrates me. (I live at home, plus there's the religious aspect so no changing it up anytime soon.) But learning how to play the game might make it a lot easier or at least give you something else to think about. Don't rush growing up. In 20 years, nobody else will remember or care about your outfits.
It's so interesting to hear about how kids are growing up and used to grow up, when you live in an other country. There are some differences in how ptretteen life used to be, but overall it's pretty much the same. But the current problems, that you are describing I haven't noticed in young children here at all. Sure they are watching TH-cam videos instead of reading magazines, but there is no obsession with beauty and skincare. All younger people I know are more obsessed with Let's Player than beauty TH-camr. (I even feel like this trend has died out here in recent years) If anything kids here are less concerned about appearance than previous generations, just wearing whatever and not really having any current trends they are following. If someone wanted clothes to brag with, he/she would probably just buy merch from a popular TH-camr. A trend that I noticed though is that kids become confident in their English skills way earlier than previous generations, due to watching English content online. I know many kids in elementary school, who are already able to have a pretty fluent conversation in English.
Looking back I enjoyed my childhood because my mother let me be a kid. Played video games, got into trouble, hurt myself by doing something stupid, my brother and I would fight, and would watch cartoons endlessly. We need to let children be children. Being in the “awkward years” are fun because you learn what not to do as you grow.
It’s SO sad to me in one of the first clips that the parents told their 5 year old she could pick any store and she picked lululemon and Sephora… I didn’t even know those existed at 5…. And if my parents told me we were going to Target or GameStop I was over the moon.
As a 14 year old, you'll usually get seen as weird if you don't act older than you actually are. It's not huge it's just that everybody around you seems like they're so old
That’s just way too much pressure. It feels like just 5 years ago it was weird to look too old for your age. The kids who looked grown in my middle school got talked about. I don’t think that was good either but this is worse
Best thing to do - Don’t worry about what others think, not even your peers. Being original is everything ❤ and makes you much happier with how you view yourself in life.
@@LGrianit's still like that. in 7 grade there was a girl who had big breast and she was always talked about and a lot of people just couldn't believe she's 13
Sadly, fitting in and wanting to grow up fast is a tale as old as time. I remember growing up and all the popular kids wore Abercrombie and Fitch. I remember being relentlessly bullied for not wearing name brands in the prep school. I went to and crying to my mom that I wanted to be cool and hip like the other girls. My mom reluctantly dragged me to Abercrombie and Fitch, and I was treated like I was invisible by the employees because I was more alternative. The stuff we do to fit in. I can only imagine the amount of pressure on young people now to fit in with their peers due to constantly being online.
My daughter is four and I am dreading dreading dreading this stage in life. Her preschool is amazing. It’s kind of like a time capsule. Not in the sense that it’s old-fashioned but just that it’s a very normal place to go to school. She has no access to social media apart from kid TH-cam during her regimented screen time. She’s not allowed to walk around with the phone and I’m not on socials so she doesn’t see Mommy posting. She’s a very happy well adjusted kid and I am going to do my darndest to keep it that way.
I am 15 years old and I am in the autism spectrum in the last years of elementary school I began to discover myself and my own style, due to how much today's world depends on social media subcultures such as scene or goth do not exist, which does not allow self-expression. Socialities based on a given style of clothing practically no longer exist. I started to dress in pink/pastel clothes to express myself what made people even younger than me bully me because I looked too childished (i was 12/13 at the time i dont remeber) I fell into deep depression and made my early teenage years full of anxiety and just beeing scared to express myself. Now few years later i finally slowly start to accept myself and dress how i want to ‼️❤️
I am so glad that my daughter might miss a time where you were ever allowed to have a cell phone in the classroom with you. Social media is so scary and I would love if that was not a president for her. 25:55
Interestingly, the children of our society are being adultified simultaneously with the adults in our society being child-ified (not being able to afford traditional adulthood milestones like homeownership, weddings or parenthood). I wonder if these children are superficially mimicking adulthood because the superficial form of adulthood is all that still exists to mimic.
Im an adult and Ive never had a desire to own a home, marry or become a parent. Im an antinatalist. Does that make me a kid? You sure have some strange ideas about what adulthood is.
@@UmaCatLvr-y9z And I'm a queer communist who wants to abolish the family, but I'm not going to act daft about omnipresent sociocultural norms just because I don't personally observe them. 🤷
I think a good pre-teen show that was released "recently" was julie and the phantoms and it was so good but due to the lack of pre-teen popularity it was cancelled unfortunately
The other day I saw YOUNG girls come into a library holding Starbucks drinks, all make up, fancy clothes, and nails done. I was like.....don't live that life yet!
As much as I'd like to blame social media, I think it doesn't help that there's not as much media, fashion, or products specific for preteens, especially preteen girls, that I think leads to a loss of "preteen girl culture". When I was a preteen there were a good amount of shows and cartoons for preteen girls, age-appropriate makeup (like lip smackers) that was just for fun to add color/gloss/sparkle, not for hiding perceived imperfections. I don't know if there's any fashion trends that are specific to preteens anymore, but when I was young there were always some trends that preteens liked that adults didn't. I remember there were magazines for preteen girls too which were age-appropriate but still trendy and entertaining (like J-14). Video game industry I feel could do better with appealing to young girls too. Sure there are tons of cozy games, but frankly most are boring (or in the case of mobile gaming, extremely p2w), not every young girl especially today just wants cozy as it's more appealing to adults that want to relax. Action games are almost exclusively targeting boys and men, but I think there's a lot of potential to attract young female gamers who are less hindered by gender roles than older women (but which also lot of older women gamers have always wanted). It is really sad, because I feel Gen Z and Millennials, looking up to older kids was the extent of "being cool and mature", like you'd just have preteens saying they want to be in high school (especially those watching Disney channel teen shows) which is innocent enough. But now it is extreme with going as far as plastic surgery or ruining their skin with products meant for 30+ yr old skin. Being raised with constant internet access, it is also easier for parents to be unaware of what their kids are doing or watching. I remember everyone feeling shocked when my bf's nephew casually said out of nowhere that he liked a certain infamous influencer/grifter who is widely known for being a rapist and being extremely misogynistic... We'd never have guessed it because it's not like parents or any family member just ask kids "What are all the TH-cam videos you watch?", and this kid in particular never seemed misogynistic so we had no reason to suspect it. I fear if we hadn't caught that in time, he could turn out differently, though. :(
12:10 a large part of the kids who wouldve liked cartoons made for them have moved to adult shows like Hazbin hotel and adult swims because they get called cringe and picked on for enjoying shows that are literally tailored for that age group. Even the nerd kids are being affected by this and it's really sad to see as a 2005 kid who was a part of the beginning of this downhill tumble :( I distinctly remember when the Justice in my area closed down. (I know Hazbin is definitely bully material, but the children watching it do so because it's an adult show and makes them feel mature)
Cringe culture defiantly has an effect as well hearing things like “this is cringe” and stuff making others feel bad about what they wear even when they dress and act their age. The expansion of internet is not good for an unformed mind
When I was 12-13, I was still wearing very colorful clothes with all sorts of patterns and phrases. Now, the 12-13 year olds I have volunteered with try to tell me what to do and are even dressed better than I am. It's crazy.
I work with a lot of kids in this age range and I think as some other commenters said, it is somewhat of a very online take. It goes without saying but not all 9-12 year olds act this way but it seems to me the ones that do are the ones using it to hide their awkwardness. Some of the more "well adjusted" kids that I know are very much still into the preteen stuff and have a fun time with it reminiscent of how I felt (sometimes) at that age. The ones that are "growing up too fast" tend to lack confidence and even stability in life which I think a lot of us can relate to. They need space to exist as awkward kids and face less judgement from adults. It's the "kids don't go outside anymore" crowd that tends to be the biggest culprits of this. From not wanting kids in public spaces to flat out calling the cops when some kids are a bit noisy skateboarding on the sidewalk, they need spaces to be themselves and just exist among one another. I think that if they're given healthy alternatives to social media and screens, that we'll see less of this behavior that isn't deemed age appropriate. These kids need room for personal development in a none-judged way that isn't dictated by following trends online. If you follow a trend you're cool, if you try something outside of the box then you can be looked down on by kids and adults alike. Anyway, if you got anything from my rambling thoughts, thanks for reading.
I feel like the loss of children's online spaces contributes to this problem. When I was small, my "social media" was filled with children wearing cool virtual clothes and having wings (and some adults pretending to be kids). Nowadays, kids don't have their own spaces where they dictate what is normal and cool, instead they are thrust into instagram, tiktok, twitter and so forth. Here the adults set the tone for what you are supposed to be. If you are akward, trying to find yourself or, god forbid, cringe. You can get bullied by adults or you can see others get bullied for the same behaviour as you.
I was a tween in the early 90s, and I don't remember a lot of media made specifically for pre-teens at that time. Kids, teens, and adults, yes. But I don't remember pre-teen specific stuff being huge until the early 2000s. Maybe I'm just misremembering, or wasn't exposed. I remember Limited Too being a thing, but we didn't have much money so we never shopped there. I did occasionally manage to buy a pair of earrings at Claire's when malls were still a place worth going to. Social media definitely makes a difference; it's a way faster way to "learn how to look/act like an adult" than anything I had as a kid. But historically the whole phenomenon around marketing to and creating content/products/media specifically for teens and tweens is relatively new.
I’m a middle school teacher and if it helps, a lot of my girls are still loving their bath and bodywork’s body sprays and friendship necklaces/bracelets! 😂 but they also have Ugg slippers and stunning makeup lol
The struggle is real. I'm currently watching 20 year old Disney shows with my 11 year old because there is literally NOTHING else for her age demographic. Thankfully, most of these shows have aged fairly well. There are only a few that we just couldn't get into. And it does impact them. I'm having to help my daugher navigate through problems with her friends that I didn't have until I was a teen. It's hard enough dealing with those issues as a teen with more brain development. It's near impossible to do it as a pre-teen with no actual life experience. I really wish more parents understood the problem (or even acknowledged that it IS a problem). I actually had to move to a small town to find those authentic kid experiences for my daughter (we moved for work but got that as a bonus). We couldn't find them in a larger city.
“Nothing for her age demographic” U realize Disney still makes new shows right? Which are perfectly charming and age appropriate U could show her a mix of both
@@madnessarcade7447 We've watched a few more modern ones. We really loved Stuck in the MIddle, Sydney to the Max, Star vs the Forces of Evil, and Villains of Valley View. The issue is that they haven't made any shows like that in the last year, and those that were made, were quckly cancelled (Villians and Pretty Freaking Scary just sort of vanished mid-season). So now, we're going back and watching older shows. We're currently watching Raven, and she really likes it. It takes hours to do her hair every week, so we blow through a lot of content.
There is a good show I love called Lego Monkie Kid! It has good lessons, is entertaining, and doesn't have any romance stuff. If you don't mind her watching action and characters with complex stories. The characters are flawed in a good way and even the famous hero, the monkey king, in the story isn't depicted as being right all the time. There is a few dark themes, so I recommend you watch it for yourself, but it should be digestable. (It has 5 seasons and 3 specials, I believe. It is on Prime video)
Having an awkward phase (“the blunder years”) is valuable because it teaches you that it’s not the end or the world to be a little lame or goofy. It builds character and resilience to endure the mockery of your peers and grow beyond it.
That explains the world today. At least in the US lol
I find that young adults/older teens who have gone through an awkward phase are more mature than those who haven't.
Right?! Take your turn with the glitter eye shadow and the questionable hairstyle!
It also allows kids to gradually learn about their blooming sexuality, rather than kicking it into overdrive and then regretting it because you didn't know what you were getting into
@@alderidgelore yeah, I hated it at the time, but in hindsight I’m glad I got to go through the pre teen years before COVID hit. I just feel so bad for all these kids who feel like they have to follow every single trend for fear of being “cringe” or “out of date”, that they never develop a style and taste of their own.
As a teacher i can confirm that the awkward stage is very much still a thing. Tiktok just isnt real.
exactly!
Really, people present their best filtered self on social media. And the more "aesthetically pleasing" is pushed out more.
Also, 18-30 yo women looking 35-50
With FILLER
Yes, kids can act "mature" but at the end of the day they are developmentally not mature. Preteens are still awkward!
@@kathleenking47 most 18-30 yo women look 18-30... it's like the original commenter said, TikTok just isnt real lol most young adults don't have filler or cosmetic work done.
i am a manager at a retail store marketed towards kids 0-14. if it makes anyone feel better, for the amount of 9-12 y/o 'mini teenagers' coming in buying uggs and adidas like their older sisters there are just as many kids the same age coming in and buying the twinkle toes and sparkly converse covered in glitter, rainbows, and kittens. kids are still being kids out there!
omg i want sparkly converse with kitties
I don't know if my town is behind the times or something but all the kids here look like normal kids to me. I only ever see these other kids online.
Great point! I think there’s a lot of kids out there who are still being kids. It really depends on many factors like what the culture is at their local schools, communities, families, social circles, etc., and also how kids themselves choose to express their identities. Though there definitely has been a troubling trend on social media of tweens acting older, it’s important to consider that we’re often only seeing what is posted to social media. In my experience, though, there’s still plenty of other tweens (that we may not be seeing as much on social media) who go through what many consider a traditional “tween phase.”
That being said, I hope the trend we’re seeing on social media dies down and kids feel less pressure to grow up so fast. I was someone who tried to stay a kid during those transitional years while many of my peers were trying to be more like adults, and even at that time I was concerned and wished that I knew more peers who acted more like a kid than a teenager/adult.
@@sambartlett1435yeah… my area too. I’ll see the occasional preteen that looks a little older/dressing a little older but my son is nearly 10 and I’m around kids his age and a little older often (still preteen kids) and I don’t see this… that much in real life.
@@vimthyikr make them for adults too😂
I’ve seen way too many videos of parents talking about their children being bullied by 8th graders because they’re not wearing makeup or not having a phone. That’s craaazzzyyy
Not having phone is 8th grade is weird
@@maksimfedoryak no reason to bully someone….
@@maksimfedoryakleast they ain’t gonna get more likely to get groomed, or radicalized, or fall into peer pressure
so instead of taking action to stop bullying, they use it to bring views online....?
soooooo many kids get phones in early elementary school. Seems too young to me.
it's always appalling when people make fun of children for being children and then they act surprised when those children are bullied out of those normal childhood experiences... why is everything so hostile towards children these days?
Because a lot of the older generation likes to think “oh my life was hard so theirs should be too” even though their lives weren’t hard at all. For example my own mother and her brother always had the mindset of “I had to work for what I have so yall should too” (they were talking about my brother and me) or they would say stuff like “kids today have it so much easier than us” and I asked my grandmother her thoughts and she said “please….. your mom and uncle had everything given to them, we bought their cars for them when they were 16 and they didn’t have to do nearly as much as they act like, don’t get me started on the times we had to financially help them as adults, just ignore them”
So it’s just jealousy. I will say however there is a huge danger in kids not having the preteen years and/or kids who are still trying to figure out things having unrestricted access to the internet and the whole world.
Hate to say it, but everyone is hostile towards everyone and everything they don’t like. It sucks but at the same time people just suck as a whole.
I completley blame parents for this. I have a 7 year old cousin and I usually take her on shopping trips when she visists because nobody else will. They usually will order all her stuff online or take her to Sephora. When she visited last time, she asked to go to Sephora and I said "have you heard of Clair's? Lets try it!" Shes easy going so she agreed, and she felt WAY more comfortable there than anywhere she's been. She got some ice cream earrings and a cupcake bag, perfect for a 7 year old. I don't understand why we are allowing these young children to get things that I wouldn't even buy...and I'm 26
It makes me want to cry when i see small kids below 14 freaking out about makeup, skincare, vapes and s@x… its the schools, peer pressure and lack of control from the government.. the parents are usually unable to do anything
My friends and I shopped at Claire’s a while back for hair accessories and a play wedding veil since we were doing a fake wedding. We also go into fanloli sometimes too and at the mall we just tend to have fun. Hot Topic is another fav of ours. We’re all in high school btw. I wish kids could have fun like this still :(
@@emiliereal1520 I am 31 myself (almost 32), and unfortunately because of the rise of amazon and buying stuff online it caused a lot of good stores to close and malls to become ghost towns.
Malls used to be filled with stores like Claire's, hot topic, and other stores that catered heavily to pre-teens. And malls had food courts with McDonalds, Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, and Auntie Annes and other fast food places depending on where you lived. Claire's was the place to get your ears pierced, Hot Topic while it catered to darker aesthetic (gothic, punk, emo) they did carry a lot of band merch. You could go to the mall with your mom or another female relative, go shopping with them at the pre-teen specific stores and stores like sears and target (celebrities used to do collabs that would be released at sears and target), and maybe stop in at bath and body works if you were into the super scented stuff. Then you could finish the shopping trip off with some McDonalds or Taco Bell for dinner and a Blizzard from Dairy Queen as a dessert.
Malls were a place you could meet up with your friends and have an adult chaperone or two with you, but like I said malls have become ghost towns as "brick and mortar" stores became redundant with more and more people buying their stuff online and having it directly shipped to them.
@@Januarymash678I disagree, if the child is supported morally, spiritually, etc. they wouldn't need external validation from others outside their family.
Also,
Who cares? Children can be exactly the same in everyway and perfect. They'll still find something to pick on you about at any age. That's why you shouldn't care what others think.
I went to Claire's recently. I bought a pink lemonade pusheen plush. named her lemon. What's a drunk elephant again? Why is the elephant drunk? how does an elephant even get drunk?! Huhhhh???? (Jk I know what it is I just never saw the appeal. Like gurl. you're a tiny pathetic child. You don't need to look any younger)
I can attest by offline observation that MOST kids actually still experience a preteen phase. Just because it's online and viral, doesnt mean it's automatically reality.
This!! 👏👏
There‘s no denying though that reality and social media influence each other and the power of the latter is ever growing
It‘s a virtual reality in the very sense of the word
I agree, but based on observations of middle schoolers I’ve seen, there def are some skipping that. I think it’s only the ones with older siblings/who are on social media at a very young age.
Agreed!
Also the disappearance of toy stores
Oh my god, it’s so sad to me that kids today won’t know the joy of getting to run through the isles of ToysRUs, after begging our parents for the toy we’ve been seeing in commercials for weeks!
Toy r us is still where I live
@@helliumballoons7546they still get that lol. We just took our son to a toy store the other day😂
Gen X hates going to toy stores with their kids. They hate spending time with them in general
Something parents can do to help is using a toy store like you mention. Every year they can take their child to a toy store on their birthday and give them a set budget to spend. What that does is obviously 1- excite them about toys and seeing the physical toys in the store and 2- gives them a sense of spending physical money as opposed to just typing in a number on the computer or phone and having it come in the mail and 3- shows them that money is actually valuable and budgets are a healthy way to live. Having toys come in the mail any time of year I feel like makes kids think that stuff literally grow on trees 😂 that's what I do and my kids love their birthday so much because they know they can go pick out whatever they want at the toy store and they can see their money come and go. It might seem like an obvious or simple thing to do but if you really think about it, online shopping is another thing that really impacted whole generations and helps feed into the overconsumption problem.
The “short childhood” phenomenon isn’t new, though it has become much worse. In 2007 at a sleepover, my best friend’s 11 year old classmates were making an oatmeal mask to “make wrinkles go away”.
I tried telling them they don’t need that yet, we’re children.
They lied down with cucumber slices on their eyes and went completely silent.
So I grabbed one of the slices off a girl’s eye and ate it. Everyone immediately showed their age then, running around giggling and throwing oatmeal at each other.
That is part of the pre-teeny phase. Experimenting with things you see adults do, even if you don't know why or how.
I'm happy to hear it turned into fun. That's not childish, which many teens forget. That having fun is human, not childish. ❤❤❤🎉🎉😊
@@jaegrant6441 those girls in particular had an unhealthy, years-long obsession with getting out of childhood and were not fun. So it was pretty great to have fun with them that time 😄
And you’re absolutely right, fun is universal ❤️
nope, it needs to continue, childhood should be short as possible.
@@jaegrant6441 fun is also subjective. Naturally to some people going to Sephora is more fun than going to Claire's, and taking care of your fashion taste is more fun than letting loose. Don't judge other people
@@Mr.Goldbar I’m sorry, but you’re really wrong.
So I do admit Iam turning 13 in a few months. I clicked on this video to see what people are saying about us now. I actually really enjoyed this video. It was very neutral defending kids but also proving the point to. I also take this as a wake up call. My parents have always been strict on my time online and shows and movies I watch and never got me a phone yet. I am now so grateful they haven’t gotten me a phone, only buy me just a few make up product, buy me teen safe skin care that I need, and don’t let me watch adult stuff. I do think I will start to spend less time on the internet now. Thank you
highest i watch is pg 13 or sm,th cause im 13 and im happy its neutral cause people always blame and insult the kids
I remember influencers making fun of the kids at Sephora, and I was just like: BRO ITS YOUR FAULT!
also the people who recorded these kids with the intent of making fun of them 😭😭 like bro you’re not helping by filming a random 11 year old without permission
right or making fun of jojo Siwa when she made pre-teen content calling her content "cringe"
@@staeriixyou’re so real for that istg
More like the parents' fault for letting the kid's watch influencers. Those influencers' content isn't made for kids, and they can't really control who watches it
@@lightning_blackiie This. Parents need to more closely monitor what their kids are doing online (if even letting them online at all)
There has always been a pressure to grow up too fast - I was bullied by same age girls for having barbies and polly pockets at 7 years old. I was bullied for not shaving my legs at 11.
Its up to parents and teachers to set the standard, reassure kids and help tackle bullying.
This is all so true! Now that Bryan and I are in our late 20s. He was a former Bully, eons ago I didn't know about his physical and mental abuse from his parents. We were just kids. That one day when I gave him my house number we talked to each other almost every day. Until we remet in our early 20s.
He is such a sweet and strong person! I'm really proud of him for seeking help when he needed it. Most or even some kids will act out as bullies for various reasons, that other children will not comprehend. I'm really happy that after junior high school graduation he asked me out. I kindly replied "here's my number. Call me when you turn 20 yrs, once you are a bit more mature" He asked me again last year to be his girlfriend and I said "yes!"
Obviously, not every boy or girl out there will get their mind and other stuff together. We are still learning and maturing as we age.
I hope that more young boys and girls do learn from past mistakes. And forgive ones who hurted them, and forgive themselves for things they could not control.
I’m not sure that this true across the board. When I was 10, I was mad that my mom MADE me give away my Barbie doll collection. And my mom MADE wear underwear that didn’t have ruffles anymore once I went into 6th grade. I was on the immature side and I didn’t care. I liked what I liked and no one could have told me otherwise. I liked scented lotions and body sprays that smelt like cotton candy but that didn’t mean I ever felt the need to get anything on the mature side.
Lol a girl tried to bully me for still wearing sports bras instead of a regular bra like the "rest of them" in the locker room (middle school), my mom and the coach told me "girl! next time she does that you tell her off! Its not a big deal and you wear what you want to wear" and I did just that. Girl wimped out and left me alone. What I learned? If you're firm and sure of yourself, bullies will leave you alone. They thrive on insecurities coz they have their own, so they wanna see others suffer from theirs. And jokes on her coz come High School, I grew some big honkers. Not that it makes me better than her, but they were certainly jealous, and they let me know by making fun of me. I just shrugged it off and lived my life.
@@eli3silverI think many parents aren’t raising their children to stand firm on their believes and teaching confidence. I’m glad you were taught those things as was I!! ❤
Same. I got bullied for wearing K-Mart granny sweatshirts with kittens and bears on them starting in 4th grade. I told them to leave me alone, and all that did was result in all of my school supplies being stolen and my locker being broken into. I also went to a ghetto school, but that's a different story...
i am 24 & i still go to claire’s 😭 these little ladies are losing their childhoods, while we are trying to hold onto ours ): 💗
It's always the way. You long to be older, until you are, then you wish you appreciated it more.
I felt the same in my 20s. And my 20s were very hard. But at the same time they were so much easier than now in many ways. In other ways life is easier.
We have to learn to find contentment wherever we are. ❤❤❤❤
As a Gen z who feels like an oldie, I wish to go to claire’s 😔 I really love the beret I got when I was 7
@@jaegrant6441 Nah... 20-25 will always be the most optimal age ever. Nothing will change that
we love claires
It does seem weird that a lot of younger Millennials and older Gen Z are trying to hold on to childhood while some of these Gen Alpha girls are trying to lose it. Can't say that I know the cause though
Hi Im apart of “the kids these days” generation
I LOVE CLARES!!!
I really like bright colors and clustered fashion, tho I am not wearing unicorn t-shirts, I love being creative
I do scroll from time to time, but I like to crochet , draw, sing, and act
TWEENS ARE NOT GONE!!!
WE LOVE YOU YOURE AMAZING THANK YOU YOURE DOING GREAT IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS!
YES OMG 14 and exploring the goth/alt fashion! I’m finally getting out there and exploring more styles but I still shy away from makeup XD
I love to draw, ski, and shoot my bow!
I do like TH-cam (not allowed on ticktock lol) but I have hobbies, love music, and know how to entertain myself!
@@Plvsh_fox OMG SAMME
@@Plvsh_foxSameee :3
I love reading, writing and poetry!!
I have insta but I don’t post any pics. I just use it to talk to my school friends.
I’m exploring my identity too, I loveee alt fashion
My thirteen year old niece has a skincare routine and a large collection of makeup and skincare products. She’s addicted to tiktok, fashion and influenced by her friends shopping habits. When I was thirteen, I had no idea what a skincare routine was and had no interest in makeup. These girls now look like they are in their twenties
my first teaching job, half of my third graders wore squid game merch to school.... i can't believe allowing an 8 year old to watch something that gory.
squid game was also popular in kids content even when the actual thing came out so it could be that, also i was allowed to watch like r rated movies when i turned 10 so it could just be the personal preference of parents.. although i hope they skipped the bathroom scene
Same! They were talking about it and I was completely flabbergasted that they knew what it was.
I'm 36 and my mom let me watch true crime and horror movies starting at 6 and 7.
i was 19 when i watched squid game and i was freaked out, how in the world are kids watching that
Squid game used to be very prevalent in elsagate media when the show was at its peak popularity, so they probably just knew it from that
I was born in ‘90 and when I was in high school I babysat for a family and they weren’t allowed to watch much TV but the oldest daughter loved to read and I remember when she was 8 or 9 and crying about the girls at school and all they talked about was the TV shows they watched and none of them read and she had nothing to talk to them about. I can’t imagine how much worse this has gotten. And we long for them to connect over cable TV shows these days.
I was also born in the 90’s and my school seemed to be split into genres: nerds who dressed like kids and talked about books vs. normies who dressed like preteens and talked about shows. Of course there were people who fit into both categories in different ways, but I remember being firmly on the book side, not knowing any of the references people made to shows, and thinking about how I wouldn’t know how to dress like a normal preteen even if I wanted to. But at least I wasn’t the *only one*. My school at least had other book nerds even if most of them had seen the shows they approached it like “oh that show is lame anyway, it’s good that you haven’t seen it”.
It was a mix at my school. We didn't have cable in my house, so we definitely weren't watching the same shows, but we had other things in common (video games, board games, books, hangout spots, etc.). We also had the "preppy" girls who were obsessed with fashion and makup, but it wasn't nearly as prevalent, and a lot of those girls were superficial and fake and everyone knew it. Not so much the case today when everyone is "trending" with social media.
1990 baby here, I’m 34 now, and had a VERY strict and limiting mom as to what I was allowed to watch. Let’s just say I watched a lot of PBS. And Star Trek shows (approved ones) that my mom liked. I was allowed to watch Lizzie McGuire in grades 7-9, but that was about it for when I was supervised. Alone, I definitely watched more of what was age appropriate (like That’s So Raven and Even Stevens) when they weren’t home… movies were also very limited. I didn’t watch The Little Mermaid until I was 10…at a friend’s house…and don’t even get me started on music. If it wasn’t classical, or perhaps Christian rock, it simply wasn’t allowed. Period. I lucked out in finding a group of girls in my junior high/high school that for many of us, are still in frequent contact with at our ages of 33/34 now. Still missed out on a bit, but at least at my Christian school, more families were closer to my own mom’s values/limitations, although few were that strict. Thank goodness my province mandates health curriculum in grades 5 and onwards because my mom did not tell me anything: I mean. Nothing. No period talk, I had to request deodorant and a bra when I felt pressured to, had to buy and hide my razors and later tampons on my own from babysitting money (sometimes my older sister took me shopping and that helped). So I guess I feel that there is a healthy balance, my mom went way too far one way, but many kids have been flung too far the other way now. And it’s sad.
when i was like 7 i got made fun of for watching nick jr because everyone else at the time was watching the walking dead and shit like that and they’d act like they were normal for watching adult shows while i was weird for watching shows meant for my age 💀
Even using the internet i had hard time making friends cuz most girls my age already had instagram accounts and posted regularly & talking about their favorite influencers and all
Menwhile there was me over in the corner with my minecraft parody music viedos & machinimas lol
This is a rich people/children problem. It was the same in the 90s. I went to a fancy middle school and all the kids were very concerned about brands and makeup. My own kids are now growing up in a very poor school system (classmates can only eat one meal a day-poor). The kids seem happily oblivious of trends etc. Childhood is alive and well, but it has never really existed in the upper classes
True but also not true. Kids in poor families are a lot more likely to end up in drug related trouble, I went to a school with a large majority of poor Native American families. Poor people often fall into drug situations especially when older family is already involved, these kids were getting killed and shit at 14. Poverty also takes away childhood in other ways. A lot of kids also developed obsessions with sexuality to act older just like the rich kids do
@CherrySteinz I should say working class and not poor. It's become synonymous in this economy unfortunately. But you're right that the worst kind of growing up fast definitely happens in poor families
Not in Germany 🤣 the more ghetto/poor it gets the more the girls and boys dress like adults and do Chaya make up. I grew up an immigrant myself and somewhat poor but I was always into the elegant stuff and into history so thank God it didn’t affect me that much. The only make up I knew was mascara lol
@@CherrySteinzit’s the parents fault not bc they’re poor, you make it sound like all poor people end up being drug addicts whereas in the west it’s the rich class that does that
Back then the poorest had more class and dressed better than the average person today let that sink in 🤔
I’m an immigrant in Germany (western country, quite rich) and believe me I grew up with more morals and I had a religious compass and I was poor back then whereas the richer German kids did as they pleased, drugs, alcohol, heavy parties, quite a decadent lifestyle but it is trendy if you do it as a rich Western kid but if poor (also Western) kids do it they’re failures 🤡💀
@@tangowhiskygirlyup the poorer kids grow up faster because they have to not bc it’s a trend on TikTok
Children unsupervised on the internet has caused so many societal ills. Make parents present again.
Got to say as a young guy this kind of shit is terrifying. people will already happily call a guy a pedophile for talking to a girl who is 17 when he is 18 and you have 13-year-olds out here doing their makeup and dressing like they are in their 20s
Yeah it's vile and pandering to the sexualisation of teens especially. However, you can still tell these people are that age. They do NOT act like adults of have the emotional maturity of them. As soon as they open their mouth and move it's apparent they are absolutely under 18.
THIS!!! Im a tween and EVERYONE I know has TikTok, Snapchat, and even instagram!! (I only have TH-cam and Pinterest, and a screen time limit) and it’s sad because whenever I’m at a sleepover all my friends do is watch TikTok, or go an Snapchat. I wanna be able to have fun during this time, to play outside, play bored games, talk about birthday parties, and to have fun without it being called cringe!!! That’s another thing, everyone calls EVERYTHING cringe. It’s so annoying. And like you said, kids in my school are so inappropriate!! They joke s3x and inappropriate topics all the time. One girl said she (I’m not going to say this word) “does bad stuff” to 5 year olds…people thought that was funny…but basically I wanna be able to have a “cringe” tween years, find my fashion taste, make new friends, and just have fun without being called cringe :(
Sorry for talking so much I know no one’s gonna read this but still I like writing my thoughts down!! If you do this have an AMAZING life!!! 😋
for sure i'm a teen but i agree with all of this!!
I’m so frustrated for you. As a nerdy kid at a “selective” private k-12 school almost a decade ago it was hard enough for me to make friends. I can’t imagine trying to bond with feral, phone addicted kids at your age. Is there any chance there’s a better magnet or public charter in your area that your parents would let you switch to? Or maybe an online public school and pick up so extra curricular where you could meet likeminded kids your age? In my midsized city, there are multiple local craft/sewing shops and gaming stores that have classes and meetups just for tweens/teens.
Please tell an adult you trust about the girl doing bad stuff to 5 year olds. Good for you wanting something different from the other kids, I hope you find some friends that want the same things as you!
@@AmzThePhenom Oh sorry for the misunderstanding, the girl said she does it but she doesn’t actually, she means it as a “joke” I’ve told a teacher and she got silent lunch for a week, but that’s it
@@LGrianadvising anyone to go to a charter school is absolutely wild 😂 no where anywhere in any of the videos on this topic would anyone with any common sense say the answer is to say down with public school up with private.. this is also insanely classist
Parents can raise their kids within the walls of their house how they want, but their kids will make friends in school (and in general being social) that will influence them in plenty of good and bad ways. That's why these trends could sneak up on people who "raise their kids right" - you can understand the issue with them as a parent, but there's still bound to be pressure on your kids in their social circle unless you try to control their friendships and relationships. Which we obviously know ain't gonna work out!
This is terrifying. 😅
@@MrsGarcia_x it is terrifying in some ways, but at least for myself I can say my friends made me a better person in ways my parents couldn't - more aware of my privilege and more willing to put work into my relationships. My parents have even benefitted from this! So while it is terrifying (the thought of bad influences), there must be ways to keep your kids' trust in your relationship so that they can filter what their peers bring them into positive changes.
@@dorothitwagstaff6513yes! Positive peer pressure exists. And at the end of the day, you’re raising a human being. You’re kid yes, but they’ll be out in the world too. All you can truly control long term is the morals and life lessons and model good behavior at home ❤
I'm not sure why everyone in the world thinks that you are forced to put your kids in public school. And to let your kids hang out with whoever they want. Minors can't control things like that it's the parents rights to decide who they hang out with. I know plenty of people who were homeschooled or private schooled and they are completely normal people. Everyone thinks homeschool kids or private school kids are "weird" or antisocial but they aren't.
Very true. My 8 year old eldest son. Has no access to social media. Yet came home saying he had seen skibidi toilet. When i looked at it i was genuinely mortified. I said banned even discussing in house. U cant control everything unfortunatly. So just do best you can
Im a 15 year old, and i have a ten year old sister, and let me just say, while there are some kids like this, it is not the norm, or very common. I think this whole viewpoint on this new generation is largley based on only an online expierience. My sister and all of her friends are all just regular kids, they play make belive and build forts, they are avid readers, and play with lego and dolls, and yes she has an ipad she watches a show on every once and a while, but its really not as bad as its made out to be.
I'm an (almost) 11 year old, and I still play everyday and I read, I'm not addicted to iPads and I don't use makeup like the stereotype that the Internet has made for kids in my generation and my age.
Yea I agree
Yeah it's just like when I was a teenager and all the adults were saying we were doing these ridiculous things nobody was doing. Remember this when you grow up and don't repeat the cycle!
Hi, thanks for your reply. I don't really plan for my kids to spend a lot of time on social media when they're older, and so it's nice to know they won't be alone. :)
@@certifiedhomolmao never reveal your age online until you are an adult. preferably keep online interaction to a minimum. be safe.
The mention of banning phones in primary schools and outside of lessons in secondary has me floored. In the UK, it was NO PHONES at all in primary, and NO PHONES until afterschool at secondary. And I'm not old. I'm 22. I was in secondary in the last decade. I had to hide my iPhone 4 in my blazer pocket to browse wattpad during school lunchtimes. The fact some schools allow it is so wild to me.
hehe wattpad kid in my school you keep your phones in a locked basket
I went to school where phones were banned in the US all through elementary to high school. I would have to hide my phone so it wouldn’t get taken away where a parent would have to come and get it, and I would sneak using it in school throughout my education. I’m also 22… so things have changed recently and it might be because of COVID. I’ve finished college, university and I’m in graduate school for my PhD and the students’ interests may have absolutely changed since I was in primary and secondary school.
9!? That's crazy... my daughter is 8 and has 0 skincare routine, 0 social media and has no interest. She plays with dolls and hunts for woodlouse outdoors. She won't be having a phone either, all parents in her primary school have signed up to the 'smartphone free childhood' movement so no child feels left out!
I have 8 year old daughter too and another mom just told me our little girls are the only ones who like paw patrol movie. I don’t doubt it, no phones= child hood
Teen fashion wasn't even a thing until the 50's or 60's. Marketing to kids in general is still a new concept and pre teens are an even newer avenue than that. It's the wild west of marketing!
Agree! But the concept of teenager before then did not even exist. Many girls got married off at 14-18, and everyone was just “young adults.” (I may be speaking from personal experience but my great grandma was married at 14, and many other people were too.)
I think there's a book about marketing to kids that I might have read. The name is escaping me, but I know there's a bit of a trend at times towards anti-consumerism, but not enough of one.
@@Sillygoose1133 yeah I feel like as much as limiting the minimum age of marriage is such a huge blessing to society, it did kinda made this stage of life a little bit too infantalized, now we're just returning to original form I guess?
‘06 baby here. I am so glad to have missed (most!) of this. I didn’t get a phone until I was 14 and even still I feel a little robbed of a proper ‘awkward phase’. Can’t imagine how it must be for these babies who were handed iPads the moment they could hold their own head up. I’m definitely holding on to all my old kids magazines & dvds… gonna try to do better for my own kids someday
As a ‘07 who was given an iPad/phone for as long as I can remember I know it messed me up but it definitely helped me socially. Though, I had a hard time caring about social media because I used it so early on. By the time my friends were creating their first accounts, I was deleting my second or third accounts (depending on the app) and now the only social media I use is TH-cam. And I don’t post, so I’d hardly call it a social media (for me.) I’ve never had problems socially but I grew up hearing, watching, and personally seeing the horror stories of social media, which led me to want to avoid it now. Because these kids are using social media so young, I don’t know how long they’ll stay on the sites since it was something they did as a kid. Or at least, that’s how I’ve seen it.
you two do not exist reeeeeeeeeeee
@@domerino-ft6sd yeah your right, maybe you should take your meds
@@someonewhoThis isn’t making you look better either, that person is probably a child.
@@DemiSuaton okay 👍
A good thing to remember when discussing things like this is that not every kid is on TikTok and TH-cam shorts and not every kid is from America. It varies wildly-in some places, more people are “Sephora girls” or consumption obsessed. In others, kids are just…kids. A lot of people are quick to assume 6 American caucasian teens they see on their feeds and assume that everyone in their generation’s exactly the same.
I don't think the point was that kids are all the same as what's on TikTok... just that when regular kids see that stuff it is influencing them to feel bad about themselves, to feel like they need something other than what they have to be cool or pretty or popular, or that they are weird for not being a picturesque mini-adult. It's having detrimental effects on kids because they are constantly being told that's the way to be, something that is completely unobtainable for 99% of kids is being glamorized and glorified. Most parents dont have the money to buy their kid 500 products from Sephora, or get them a new trend thing every week.
@@badcaseofstripesbut their main point, which was a good point, is that this is not reality for most kids. It's mostly just kids in America. And even then, most kids in America are not like this. If 1,000 out of 1 million kids are dressing like adults and wearing makeup, watching adult shows, etc. and all 1,000 kids are posting about it online, it looks like all kids are like that. But they're not.
And the reality is that kids today will still not care about certain things like Stanley cups, or anti aging skincare, or expensive makeup, and will actively make fun of the ones who obsess over that stuff because that's seen as lame.
Most kids that are not into inappropriate material are homeschooled....that's the difference. There's been a home-school boom thank God. More parents actually looking to parent their kids. Parent: it's not only a noun.
Agreed
Yep, in my culture there's no "preeteen". You are a child and then you become a teen and have teen hobbies and interests
That Stanley cup parent totally missed an opportunity to teach her child self-esteem, self confidence, and not to seek approval from her friends for her self-worth. Choose better friends so she could be herself!
As a thirteen year old this is so true, I often feel really lost interms of emotions and it sucks.
One thing that I feel like is important to touch in is how this is seen more prevalently in upper class communities. The school I teach in is majority below the poverty line and though the kids have seen very hard things in their life they still look and act like preteens. Learning to use deodorant, trying to keep their hair from frizzing, finding clothes that fit right. The ones that you see online are the ones that are online. So when you’re not around preteens a lot it seems like the amount of kids maturing to fast is crazy high but it’s skewed. Many of my kids don’t have phones. Though they are still more grown than I ever was. Not negating what you’re saying just another point.
As a younger Gen Z I 100% agree, I moved around all of my middle school years and I've gone to low income and high income schools. I think both communities still have that awkward preteen phase but the higher income kids try to like idk "compensate" for their age with their expensive mature products and clothes and acting grown on tiktok. Meanwhile they still do embarrassing things and make loads of mistakes as any preteen does. Idk if that made any sense but I definitely agree that the super grown acting preteens you see online are the minority in real life.
I agree, though I think it's fair to point out that a lot of poor kids are still going to be constantly exposed to the fake rich kid lifestyle trends, which are more powerful than ever. I'm 26 and I was homeless and poor growing up and still saw that kind of stuff, felt envious and sad because my life was nothing like that, I looked nothing like those other girls and couldn't afford anything. Everything felt unobtainable and it felt almost wrong or shameful to be just a kid without all that extra stuff.
Exactly. The kids you see on social media are a self selecting group. The kids who act like kids aren’t the kids you’ll be seeing wearing crop tops and doing tik tok dances, and they aren’t the ones people will be talking about because they won’t stand out.
making up term "preteen" is forcing people to grow up faster. preteens are 13-14, like they're officially teens but they're just entering this phase. everyone under 13 is a kid
That’s the key is not allowing them to have phone until they are older. We live in an upper class neighborhood but I’m not allowing my 3 daughters to have phones or social media because I’m aware of the dangers
Holy smokes. Capitalist consumerism culture was always toxic, but social media culture seems to have poured gas on this toxic dumpster fire.
Nice thing about capitalism is you don’t HAVE to participate
@@boodledemic6430 100% untrue
@@falsificationism excellent retort
@@deadstones1 Thanks--anyone who's gotten sick in the US and needed medical care knows how crazy "you don't HAVE to participate" is.
@@boodledemic6430
???
@10:00 As someone who works in the beauty industry- I PROMISE, none of us actually want 9 year olds as our clients. It’s a nightmare.
Totally. You don’t. But the company’s like ultra and Sephora do.
I promise most companies do want them and don’t care as long as they are making money
yeah, id imagine the on-the-ground employees wouldn't want them to be there, but to the higher up management, its just more profit for them :(
Sorry you have to do extra work, I know little kids can be messy often, and makeup is... definitely something that will make a mess
You may not, corporate does though. They're just little money bags in their eyes
right...but the companies do...
4:37 here’s your pass to skip the ad
this is an INCREDIBLY good break down of this. I've had so many thoughts about this and you narrowed it down SO well
Kids need to have a phase with acne, Claire’s, a Nintendo 2DS, pizza parties and Disney Channel! Not Sephora, Instagram and €100 make-up!
Hell, minus the acne, everyone should indulge in those aforementioned activities that you mentioned as being a phase, regardless if they are older than preteen, at any age!
Why? Because believe it or not, that shit is good and healthy for them, mentally, especially in this trying world.
Whilst my daughter is not near being a preteen yet (she's 7) she will wear mismatched clothes and when I once mentioned it didn't match she replied it's fine because I like it.
I keep her away from all the Instagram crap and hope she keeps that mentality going forward
I think I spent more money on video games just for my PS2 alone than I have on makeup in my entire life. As it should be, imo.
I’m younger and I hate the fact people are doing that because i don’t have that much money and i have to make that money to fit in and i wish we still normalized those things because i grew up on the and i just wish it lasted longer
I have a 3DS! I just deleted instagram, too, and haven't been back on since.
You can't stop your kids from being bullied. Buying them everything that's trending isn't helping them, it's just giving them terrible values
100% the parents fault. Protect our kids and their childhood. No social media for young children!!
Everyone's trying to grab your kids through their electronic devices for various reasons. We need to protect them from influencers and companies that benefit from the innocence and ignorance.
It's easy to blame parents but like another reply said, attention is the most valuable currency, and these companies are using every tool to grab your kids as life-long consumers. If it's not their phones, it's their friends, family members, public advertising, loss of community and protection, etc.
its not just the parents. these kids are willingly doing this. i know because i have to go to school with people like this everyday
I'd give parents up to 90%, but not 100. Parents never have and never will have 100% control over their kids.
Yeah. But the problem is the kids want to fit in so they won't be bullied, and the parents give in because they don't want their kids to be bullied for being the only ones without something all the others have.
Thankful for my childhood in the late 70’s/80’s. Fun, innocent and most important free to be me
I had a incredible awkward phase and was teased often growing up. I feel all this has made me more authentic of a individual today as a adult.
As a 15 year old I am glad to say that I didn’t skip the preteen stage, but a lot of my peers and my younger siblings definitely did and it’s honestly so sad to watch children around you not wanting to act like children because it apparently is “embarrassing”
As a preteen I try to hold onto my childhood as much as I can and it makes me sad seeing most people my age at school trying to act like adults.
@@Burbee1511 please do. Go outside, climb a tree, don’t be afraid to experiment with what clothes YOU like, instead of what the internet tells you to like!
I’m the same age and when I was a preteen me and the other kids my age most certainly had this phase. I got my first phone for my 11th birthday and it was one of those old like iPhone 4s or something. I was pretty cringe back then but I’m glad I had that phase because it helped me learn about myself and the world around me. Now I see kids that are like 8 dressing older than I dress and being iPad kids and I’m so glad that I’m gen z. It’s super important to have this phase and yeah it’s sad that kids nowadays don’t seem to have it
Last school year right before I became a teen, me and my friend were just rolling down a hill outside the school during recess and got made fun of by other kids because of it?!?! 😭. just let kids be kids in peace
@@pancake-yum good for you! I hope y'all had fun! Ignore the people making fun, they're just too miserable with their own lives to appreciate the simple joys.
As a guy, Victoria’s Pink absolutely saved me when I had a full leg cast when I broke my tibia/fibula. It was the only store that sold pants that could go over it comfortably and the workers were so kind/understanding of the situation.
I don’t have those purple pants anymore but I remember them fondly, despite well…the horrible pain of a broken leg.
I got made fun of as a child/preteen because my mom was still getting my clothes at this children’s store called “please mum” while a lot of my peers got their clothes from places Abercrombie and Hollister. My mom’s response to my pleas was “when you have your own money, you can decide where you get your clothes”. So I got a job. My point is, kids are mean no matter what you wear, what you look like, and what you do. You will spend your whole life trying to fit in, so I hope that when my kids grow up I won’t succumb to the pressures and will be able to instil the same life lessons into them that I got
What was your mom's response to the bullying you endured?
My mom gave me her credit card once so I can buy something from Hot Topic. I bought these black skinny jeans that she thought were ugly and over priced, which they were, but I wore those jeans just about every day until I out grew them
I was born in '00 so I got to experience the kind of shift between when pre-teen stores were around, there was significant media, etc etc and the beginning of when technology got really big with things like youtube. At 24 now and planning on having a child, its terrifying to know that even if I try my best to introduce my kid to all the pre-teen things and help them best to also be able to fit in with their friends, this is an inevitable thing I can't avoid. I know things like this happen every generation but something about the tech era just makes it seem a lot scarier than past generations. But I'm also only 24 so I can't say for certain.
Great video, a great way to open my eyes to bigger issues like this on top of the school system, ipad kids, senora etc etc. I also feel there is also a lot less third places (like the mall, skating rinks, etc,) for preteens and just teens in general to go to anymore since covid and online has made it less accessible for them.
I was too poor to afford what all my friends did. This taught me that I didn’t need to “keep up with the Jones’s” in order to feel a sense of self worth. I still live very frugally and I could care less what people think of what I wear. I think this life lesson was very valuable for me.
I also feel it's important to keep in mind, that the concept of a "teenager" didn't exist until the 1930s or 40s and preteens even later. After 13 you pretty much became a small adult. I think these lifestyles that we think of as "the good ol' days" are much more recent and, evidently, shorter lived than we remember. Despite this, I still think the idea of preteens and teenagers has been beneficial to human development.
I know that's this is not the point of this comment but all I can think of is someone shouting "get off tik tok and head up this chimney" if the two combined
So it seems like we're now getting back to the 1930s in those terms (damn)
I’m 15 and I’m not near the mental/emotional age of an adult😭
Just because it became a thing in recent past doesn’t mean we should revert backwards. We’re not in a culture where men are being drafted into wars & women are getting married off in young teen years
So you’re saying the age of consent shouldn’t exist?
As a mother this is constantly on my mind. How I can preserve my daughters’ childhoods. I went through a lot of far too sobering things for a child (the war, being refugees, immigration, etc) yet I was innocent despite that and remember playing with toys and Barbies in particular until nearly 13.
I played with Barbies for so long I was embarrassed to admit it 😅
@@TheKnallkorper me too. I remember hiding them in the back of my closet so I wouldn’t be tempted to play anymore 😅
@@NivesScott I still collect dolls and play with them from time to time... I'm in college. Although now usually it's more of a sewing/crocheting kind of play. I probably own more dolls now than I did as a kid.
I’m just tired of seeing young girls walking around half dressed, no parents even attempting to protect them.
@@TheKnallkorper I miss playing with Bratz, Littlest Pet Shop, & the almighty My Little Ponies🙌
Retinol on skin that isn't even done yet is WILD lol
Also, I really hate thinking that kids are on the same social media that makes adults in their 30's miserable, saturated with creepy people, and depressed by overwhelming negativity
Parents and social media have a huge impact on their decisions
Im happy my mommy doesnt let me have social media apart from pintrest and youtube, and constantly checks my netflix history 😭😭
❤❤❤❤
my heart
The current prevalence of 11-14 year olds walking around in very inappropriate clothing with their parents is alarming.
Right!? I can’t believe it. I’ve seen girls with hotpants and crop tops walking with their parents while men stare at the girls! I always ask myself what these parents are thinking.
They should wait until they’re a sophomore in high school for that shit.
Honestly, if the parents are fine with it, then it shouldn’t be any of your concern. If people are looking creepily at them then that’s on their part, not the kid’s.
@@MassBayBricks That is a slippery slope
@@Bellabirdtheoneandonly
This! Yes if the parents are fine with them wearing those items then it’s on the parent. Unfortunately theirs no denying theirs creeps out there.
the woman at 8:30 saying "if you can help your kid not being made fun of, you´re going to do it" seems so lost. The issue here is not that her daughter had the wrong cup, it´s that apparently her parents raised her to seek approval from her peers rather than from within herself and her family. The "wanting a Stanley cup" is just a symptom, the peerbonding is the actual issue they need to fix.
Children are going to naturally want to conform to their friends, it’s not unusual for a child to copy their peers, in fact developmentally speaking children and teens (particularly pre teens) tend to be more influenced by their peers than any other age group. It’s a milestone that is typical for most children. That’s not particularly the issue, it’s the fact that a CUP is the next big thing. Young people will nearly always want to be more adult to be taken seriously and to seem mature, even more so due to social media
@@Djdjndxjsnd I disagree. Yes there is a developmental stage where children are being more influenced by their peers in the early teenage years. However when the parental bonding is strong, this is usually not a big issue since the children get their reassurance, morals and role models from their own family.
Peerbonding is extremely common because our institutions in the west specifically try to erode parental bonding. By encouraging parents to work, get divorced and send their kids to school where they are cooped in with 30 other peers and no real adult supervision, we are actively enforcing that natural tendency to orientate oneself toward peers in the teen years and making it so that the children rely ONLY or mostly on their peers.
And then you get situations like this one.
@@DjdjndxjsndWho cares? Children can be exactly the same in everyway and perfect. They'll still find something to pick on you about at any age. That's why you shouldn't care what others think.
Yeah I was thinking the same. There's a time when we all wanted to conform to our peers. So I understand that part from the kid's perspective. But the parent has only enabled that by filling the void with consumerism. Avoid that's not going to be filled once that child reaches adulthood. Unless her parents are just very rich and giving her tons of stuff that she wants all her life. You have to learn to seek validation outside of marketing techniques because eventually when you reach the real world you have to start living your life and have an identity outside of the brands you buy.
Exactly my thoughts, I honestly reckon she missed out on a great opportunity to teach her daughter not to seek external validation and being happy for being unique and different
Don't forget Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - their whole brand and strategy was geared towards "tweenagers" in the early '00s
But they were marketing towards their age group with age-appropriate crap.
@@samanthawingard4031 Not quite. They were a little older when their tweenager-specific product lines were released. More mid-late teens. Dualstar's brand strategy 2001-2006 was specifically for preteens ("tweenagers") when MKA were themselves 15-21 because it was such a rich market to tap into. When they were preteens (8-12), their only products were media-based, not lifestyle/clothing/accessories. But the media products were still suitable for those who aged up with them. My initial point was that the products they created were for the "correct" age group using them, not like this video is illustrating with adult brands used by preteens. MKA being slightly older doesn't have an effect on my initial point, if that makes sense!
@@xBriarRose from preteen of 11 to 15 isn't a big jump at all. A 11 year old to use products for 33 year olds, which half these products are for. That's a jump.
@@samanthawingard4031 True. I'm very sorry, I'm not understanding your main point. MKA *were* marketing towards tweenagers specifically (even if they were of similar age themselves), therefore tweenages had a market available for them in the 00s, whereas now they do not, and are using products designed for other age groups. Why was MKA marketing towards a similar age group to themselves relevant to whom the products were targeted to? Even now, there are no tweenages marketing their tweenager products to other tweenagers.
Millenial parents can absolutely put a stop to this by refusing to give kids smart phones and not allow them to have access to social media. But they won't because that would require parenting and telling your kids no and giving them boundaries. I have two kids in the preteen stage and I am fighting like crazy to protect their innocense and awkwardness in this stage of life. Other kids pick on them for it but I will stand my ground.
8:42 Bad parenting. She essentially got bullied by the children herself
i'm so glad that i am early gen z (born in 2004), it's so weird seeing the new generation in skin care aisles, and not acting like kids. they are doomed for real. looking back on it, im glad i wasn't able to have social media until i was like 15
Actually early Gen Z is 1997-99 (I was born in 2004 too, one of my cousins is from 1998). But anyway, I agree with your point. I did have my "awkward phase" at ages 11-13 and never really cared for social media, and I'm thankful for it
True, gen z here too.
I remember that everyone end up acting the end of the world, because I don't have Instagram or Snapchat.
And girls asked me a lot of tumes "You don't spend 1 or 2 hours at phone?!"
Girl, I played Papa videogames in my mom's laptop. And I had to help around in farm house. Goats not gonna milk themselfs.
@@ejenplitobarcestheres no "correct" definition of early gen z u nerd
Fellow 04 born
bro i never seen kids using skin care thats mostly teenagers during that
as a 16yo who isn’t allowed to have socials minus youtube, i can say that there actually are a lot of media that preteens could watch, but they’re cartoons mostly. but for some reason cartoons are frowned upon in the recent generation (ex. my eight (8) yo cousin called me a ‘baby’ for watching a y-10 cartoon) so they end up being really short lasting and/or cancelled. i won’t even go into detail about reading books cause oh GOD. as a dear book reader the colleen hoover and spice epidemic is just disappointing
yeah, kids should be reading warrior cats instead of booktok
exactly I know a girl that only reads books with spice. I swear teens can’t even enjoy appropriate books😭
what happened to kids reading percy jackson and diary of a wimpy kid 😭
I lot of special circumstances only up to luck are what makes a child learn to enjoy reading. And as every day passes, the chances of such a thing occuring become slimmer and slimmer.
@@CouscousEnjoyer well, i only read fanfiction. i used to hate reading but then i found fanfiction and now i spend 4 hours a day reading on ao3
when I was a preteen, I would make my own words and call them "slang" and me and my friends would draw fake wounds on our arms with all the red writing utensils we could find 😭😭
(this was only a few years ago!!)
and kids are stil like that. My 10 year old and her friends and many others still play and read and imagine things. Tiktok is not real life.
Well done! I’m glad you can speak to this topic because there’s a greater chance that your generation can influence a change. The generation that is your parents age and who saw this a long time ago when it started are scoffed off as boomers and considered out of touch so therefore can’t influence in the way your generation can.
It’s really sad how in a flash SM literally changed how humans mature. 😢. I’m happy to see that schools are banning SM in schools but I do have a concern that there’s nothing in place to fill the void? Maybe there is but just wasn’t mentioned? Either way, the trend is changing yet again and I hope it’s for the better because the negative effects are impacting all of society and the future is looking kinda wobbly. It’s like the world has morphed into a Tic Toc page. It’s creepy!
Children should NOT be on social media PERIOD.
It was a good summary. It is completely crazy that we all agree that children are vulnerable, yet we have allowed the social media to ruin their lives. But maybe we didn’t know, didn’t predict that. Now we know. We must act. Stop being delusional, stop saying it’s gone to far to change that. We need to stop being selfish for sake of the children. I want my kid to not feel pressure to do all this stuff he is not ment to do and see. Be a parent. Stop sedating your kid with a screen.
As a psych major i love to look at things psychologically and according to Erikson’s stages, these pre teens are psychologically stunted forever in the identity confusion stage.
The Stanley cup reminds me of the Ugg boots trend! I was called out for having the knock off shoes. Why are kids feeling the need to dig at other kids?…. because their PARENTS FEEL THE NEED TO ONE UP EACH OTHER!! 😭😭
Exactly. I understand kids conforming to peer pressure but why are the parents caving! Especially people who can’t really afford this stuff.
I remember when moccasins were popular
As a generation alpha/preteen, im aware im in an awkward phase and Im not ashamed. I watch cartoons, I play with toys, I wear hoodies, band t shirts, anime shirts, im literally wearing a spongebob shirt and guardians of the galaxy pants right now XD- My christmas list is baby dolls, legos, and video games, i didnt even know what sephora was until i watched this video?? Even though i get bullied for the way i am, i just remind myself that atleast im not like them. Ive had a horrible childhood and now that im 11 and things are getting better im trying to enjoy the rest of my childhood while it lasts. And who knows? Maybe ill act the same even when im an old grandma or something-?
edit: kinda unrelated but hannah montana is such a good show i love the show and the movie
She crossed all the most important and critical points that were mentioned in this video, a good summary on what is happening as of recent times. good job, a little nostalgia at the “what tv shows are kids watching now?” Part
Parents know these shows are still available for preteens, right? The problem mostly lands on parents not caring about what their children are involved with.
Not really tbh. Most shows for young people are either pg-13 or baby shows, no in between.
what? I think op meant that adults can just turn on old hannah montana and other shows' episodes for their tweens. @@iliketoreadgirl2556
@@iliketoreadgirl2556not true at all. So many cool animated tv shows on Disney plus that’s not baby shows.
No, I think he means all the Disney Channel shows she mentioned. Kids could still watch them.
yup! i'm a teen and i love watching some old shows because in my opinion it's much better than what they have now😅
Yeah, I'm 13 and girls in my grade (8th) are basically shorter 16 year-olds, and boys in my grade are no different aside from not having a diabolical beauty standard to themselves. My generation is, in the nicest of words, fucked.
I’m so sorry:( I feel like I saw the beginning of the decline when I was in school. I can’t believe how self aware you are of this issue at only 13. Granted I remember feeling quite mature around that age, but now I’m older I can see that with age comes more experiences, thus more wisdom and maturity.
I hope it will get better for you guys
another 13 year old here I feel like I also matured faster but for different reasons, and at the same time I still feel 10 sometimes it's wierd
You're so right about that. Boys get to do whatever they want and say whatever they want and they'll still be liked/popular. Girls always have to look a certain way and act a certain way. They say "don't be manly, don't be ugly, don't talk to much, sit up straight, fix your hair, stop putting on so much makeup, you need more skincare, your hair is frizzy, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're trying too hard, you look so gross, go buy these new clothes, go get these trendy things, you're too basic, you're so weird, you need makeup, you need lip filler, your boobs are small, your butt is small, nobody likes someone who isn't "natural", you're distracting the boys, you need to cover up, you look like a boy, why are you so ugly?" IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING. Everything about us is based on our looks.
same
My 10 year old is a very normal preteen. Like we used to be. She reads from the 8-12 book shelves, does not have a phone (of course) and has very normal interests for her age. Same with her friends.
I was very mature for my age. At age 12, I was reading books by James Baldwin and I learned so much. Im thankful for that experience because my parents treated me as an "underage infant" who has no rights. They would never have told me things about life that I learned by reading James Baldwin's books.
By the time I reached high school, I read some books by John Rechy and that was a very exciting learning experience for me.
I grew up in an abusive family and that takes away your innocence in a minute and makes you realize how serious life really is at a very young age.
While youre all bragging about how "innocent" you all were, playing with your toys and dolls, just remember, not everyone has had the same life experience that you all claim to have had.
15:24 MONITOR what your kids consume! Yes, I know, it's a wild concept to actually parent your kids. But that avoids a lot of these "growing up too fast" issues. Also, TV still exists - you can get a digital antenna for pretty cheap and hook it up and get non-cable TV channels for free. Like PBS kids which is perfectly kid-friendly. And then (and this also goes if they are watching TH-cam or TikTok), sit next to them and watch what they are watching with them and talk about it with them. Don't let the technology babysit your kids. I feel like this all shouldn't need to be said, but it is the root of the problem. I'm a millennial parent and it's really not rocket science - just spend time with your kids.
The advertisement at the end is so wholesome. You wouldn’t see an ad like that aimed at that generation today
I think the most simple explanation is that people are completely swarmed by marketing and advertising (and sucked in) more now than ever. The addictive qualities of social media are superior over tv or magazines, and advertising is so intertwined in the platforms we use now. Everyone is a super consumer. The content of the past for preteens has no appeal now, you can't suck a kid into a magazine like tiktok can. The addictive nature of these apps means brands can get away with more ads until content becomes irrelevant, so everyone just buys more and more. Sure everyone wants to fit in by buying certain things, but that's how they get you. These platforms are not your small friend group you're keeping up with - you're trying to keep up with all of society. You see everyone, it's unattainable and you'll just be blowing your money (and your sense of self) for the rest of your life. My best piece of advice is just go outside, for the love of god, take your kids backpacking or something. I don't know any other antidote to all this.
When we are confronted by the majesty, power, and splendor of our natural world, we realise how small we really are. Being humble creates the ground for happiness to bloom.
When we are constantly surrounded by the might of human capabilities, we tend to forget how small we are. We begin to think we are more than nature, that we are the conquers, divine. And the resulting ego leaves us always feeling unfulfilled and searching for more.
Is what I've found whenever I find myself in the mountains or big forests. ❤🌏
What are kids supposed to do? On the one hand they're being pressured to mature, on the other they're being pressured to "act their age" (whatever that means!) Why not just... stop pressuring kids in general and encourage them to choose what they prefer? THAT is what's "developmentally appropriate" to them as individuals. You know what I was interested in as an 11 year old? Goth, punk rock, and learning about mature topics like drugs and sex with 100% online browsing freedom. You know what I never did? Hard drugs. Irresponsible sex. Thank Google I knew what I was dealing with. You know what I didn't care about, at the time, whatsoever? Being like an adult. I cared about my fantasy universe, Neopets, Green Day, helping animals, and crushing on boys. My idols were adults targeting adult/teen audiences but they were good influences regardless!
in all those commentary, there's a very normative idea of what preteen should be and what they were. I liked Disney channel but I was annoyed at how low stake everything was (my favorite Hannah Montana moments were the ones talking about her dead mom), I didn't care about teen idol magazines and didn't like being pressured to listen to Tokyo Hotel cuz "trendy", I never dared try makeup because I saw how other girls talked about those who weren't good at makeup. I didn't want to follow trend, but girls still wanted me to wear skinny jeans.
Those commentary are probably made by the girls who were normals and had plenty of friends. Which is fine, but they forget all the girls they ignored.
@@Coeurlarme I was a tomboy and had no fashion sense at that age and didn't care. I was in a great private school with lots of other autistic kids and had some genuinely good friends whom I made fun of the snobby popular "girly girls" with. Mind you, we had to wear uniforms (the norm in New Zealand), which definitely helped ease the pressure.
Yeah, this video and this entire comment section is insane to me. The purpose of a parent is to GUIDE their children through the CHILD'S journey in life.
Times are different, technology just exploded and is still advancing like crazy, so it's understandable that parents are freaking out over stuff like this. At the same time though, it really isn't that big a deal. Every generation comes into a world that is new to even us, and parents are meant to use their experiences to help their children find their footing, not force those exact experiences onto the child. Videos like these feel like people just want to shut their kids away from the world because everything is "oh so evil."
Trying to force the children of today to live like the children of yesterday is a tragedy in its own right -- a sign of mass hysteria and a complete disregard for the intelligence and autonomy that children have. There are very real issues that come with the internet and social media, but these issues aren't anything we haven't faced before, they've just taken new forms.
In the end, every parent of every generation will have their doubts, but placing the blame almost solely on forces outside of our control is unhelpful and, ironically, incredibly immature.
It’s also genuinely so discouraging as a 15 year old girl when there’s 14, 13, hell even some 11 year olds look older/prettier than me. I’m not allowed to wear makeup, shorts, tight/short shirts ect because my parents. It’s damaging when all these girls have glowing skin, cute clothes and super thin body’s and I’m just. There. Not pretty, not too ugly, just there. Acne faced, annoying tummy that won’t go away, and poofy hair. It’s all I think about when I’m outside of my house.
I understand you so much. It's so hard to feel pretty when there's multiple girls my age or even younger that fit the beauty standard more than me, and they're always the popular ones who follow trends. Being in middle school to high school is so awkward and tiring, you can never be pretty, popular, or strong enough. But these years will go by faster than you think, and you'll grow into your body. Acne and fat are normal when your body is changing. Just make sure to eat lots of healthy foods, exercise often, and get enough sleep. You can experiment with different styles to find your own personal style so you'll always look good even if you aren't showing skin.
Remember, confidence is key! Never listen to anyone trying to put you down and instead focus on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself!
I feel you I’m also 15 year old girl and I feel kinda left behind like I’m not growing fast enough but we just gotta look out for each other 😔✊
ok with the poofy hair do u have curly hair? sry im not trying to make u feel awful at all, i used to have poofy hair and nobody acknowledged it was curly, when i started taking care of it as if it was curly, i felt sm better and ur hair will be happy.
Hey, it's going to be okay. I've been there. For religious reasons, I can't wear the shorts and tight/crop shirts either and couldn't when I was wearing up. Could wear makeup but never encouraged and I didn't own any until I was 18. I'm in my early 20s now and in college. There's been so many beauty standard changes even in the last 6 or so years I've been online. Seriously, you aren't going to win and they aren't either. Find your niche and enjoy it. The fashion rat race will do nothing but make you broke trying to catch up. My classes in college still have the trendy girls with their gorgeous hair and perfect outfits. At least one is a self-proclaimed shopping addict. The others I know are spending a ton, just doing the math on the trendy coffee alone. They're also in a LOT of student debt. My college is paid for, but even if it was otherwise I'd still be coming out ahead because I saved up instead of shopping sprees. Most modern clothes aren't worth the price anyway, from a quality standpoint.
And there's still a lot of ways to stay on trend or look good with modesty restrictions. I crochet, so I've made myself a sweater to layer. The style is a popular one on tiktok right now. Layering might be a potential compromise for the short shirts, although I was never allowed to. Color can also do a lot to change your appearance without revealing more of your body. There's a lot of tutorials on YT about how to pick. Good hair care and a haircut suited for you can help tame the poof. It doesn't need to be fancy, just appropriate for your hair type. Haircuts and accessories can help give a little pop to your face without actual makeup. Like I have blue eyes, so a certain shade of blue earring or shirt works wonders for me. About shoulder length hair frames my face perfectly but otherwise my face looks super long. If you want to get around hairdye restrictions, your hair likely has some undertones that can be emphasized by your clothing color. I have some red and gold in my dishwater blonde hair, so burnt orange brings it out. And if you are wanting to show your figure off, or fake one, there are ways to modestly emphasize that. A loose blouse tucked into a stiff a-line can give an illusion of a thinner waist. The right shape of jeans, necklines, all of that changes how you look. Make sure your clothes fit right too. Actually fit, not as tight as humanly possible.
It also really helped me to find examples online. My "style inspiration" IG accounts tend to dress as strict as I do, often more. Even if I don't actually like their outfits, it helps me feel normal and not the only one. There's currently/recently some trends that are modest. I find keeping up with those helpful. Layering for the sweaters, looser jeans, bows, pastel pink coquette.
On body types- you are still so young. You're still growing. Being super thin isn't something to aspire to. A body that's underweight can lead to lifelong, potentially deadly consequences. I've had an ED before and now I'm not sure whether I'll ever be able to have children. Plus there's also all the heart problems, bone density issues (huge hazard at your age), and digestive issues that others have ended up with. Not worth it. The short term symptoms are honestly really annoying too. And during that mess, with almost no body fat, I still had a small bump because female organs make us stick out there. It's literally just female human anatomy at a certain point. Let your body settle out (early 20s at the earliest probably) THEN get worried about it. Unless it's for health, and then you would want a doc/nutritionist to tell you if there's anything that's actually a problem. Hormones will partially control weight gain/where the weight goes so growing up really will help.
I get it. It's frustrating. It still frustrates me. (I live at home, plus there's the religious aspect so no changing it up anytime soon.) But learning how to play the game might make it a lot easier or at least give you something else to think about. Don't rush growing up. In 20 years, nobody else will remember or care about your outfits.
Ur so real I just turned 15 lol ☹️☹️☹️
It's so interesting to hear about how kids are growing up and used to grow up, when you live in an other country.
There are some differences in how ptretteen life used to be, but overall it's pretty much the same.
But the current problems, that you are describing I haven't noticed in young children here at all.
Sure they are watching TH-cam videos instead of reading magazines, but there is no obsession with beauty and skincare. All younger people I know are more obsessed with Let's Player than beauty TH-camr. (I even feel like this trend has died out here in recent years)
If anything kids here are less concerned about appearance than previous generations, just wearing whatever and not really having any current trends they are following. If someone wanted clothes to brag with, he/she would probably just buy merch from a popular TH-camr.
A trend that I noticed though is that kids become confident in their English skills way earlier than previous generations, due to watching English content online. I know many kids in elementary school, who are already able to have a pretty fluent conversation in English.
Looking back I enjoyed my childhood because my mother let me be a kid. Played video games, got into trouble, hurt myself by doing something stupid, my brother and I would fight, and would watch cartoons endlessly. We need to let children be children. Being in the “awkward years” are fun because you learn what not to do as you grow.
It’s SO sad to me in one of the first clips that the parents told their 5 year old she could pick any store and she picked lululemon and Sephora… I didn’t even know those existed at 5…. And if my parents told me we were going to Target or GameStop I was over the moon.
Fr
Also Wal-Mart
As a 14 year old, you'll usually get seen as weird if you don't act older than you actually are. It's not huge it's just that everybody around you seems like they're so old
That’s just way too much pressure. It feels like just 5 years ago it was weird to look too old for your age. The kids who looked grown in my middle school got talked about. I don’t think that was good either but this is worse
All my friends wanted to look older than they are 5 years ago. Sad to see that this idea is still relevant.
Best thing to do - Don’t worry about what others think, not even your peers. Being original is everything ❤ and makes you much happier with how you view yourself in life.
where do you live? in my country 14-15 year olds are studying, playing outside and climbing trees. literally
@@LGrianit's still like that. in 7 grade there was a girl who had big breast and she was always talked about and a lot of people just couldn't believe she's 13
Sadly, fitting in and wanting to grow up fast is a tale as old as time. I remember growing up and all the popular kids wore Abercrombie and Fitch. I remember being relentlessly bullied for not wearing name brands in the prep school. I went to and crying to my mom that I wanted to be cool and hip like the other girls. My mom reluctantly dragged me to Abercrombie and Fitch, and I was treated like I was invisible by the employees because I was more alternative. The stuff we do to fit in. I can only imagine the amount of pressure on young people now to fit in with their peers due to constantly being online.
Finally someone who gets why it’s hard. Thank you for giving me hope that people know what’s going on :)
My daughter is four and I am dreading dreading dreading this stage in life. Her preschool is amazing. It’s kind of like a time capsule. Not in the sense that it’s old-fashioned but just that it’s a very normal place to go to school. She has no access to social media apart from kid TH-cam during her regimented screen time. She’s not allowed to walk around with the phone and I’m not on socials so she doesn’t see Mommy posting. She’s a very happy well adjusted kid and I am going to do my darndest to keep it that way.
I am 15 years old and I am in the autism spectrum in the last years of elementary school I began to discover myself and my own style, due to how much today's world depends on social media subcultures such as scene or goth do not exist, which does not allow self-expression. Socialities based on a given style of clothing practically no longer exist. I started to dress in pink/pastel clothes to express myself what made people even younger than me bully me because I looked too childished (i was 12/13 at the time i dont remeber) I fell into deep depression and made my early teenage years full of anxiety and just beeing scared to express myself. Now few years later i finally slowly start to accept myself and dress how i want to ‼️❤️
I am so glad that my daughter might miss a time where you were ever allowed to have a cell phone in the classroom with you. Social media is so scary and I would love if that was not a president for her. 25:55
Interestingly, the children of our society are being adultified simultaneously with the adults in our society being child-ified (not being able to afford traditional adulthood milestones like homeownership, weddings or parenthood). I wonder if these children are superficially mimicking adulthood because the superficial form of adulthood is all that still exists to mimic.
Such a good observation
Im an adult and Ive never had a desire to own a home, marry or become a parent. Im an antinatalist. Does that make me a kid? You sure have some strange ideas about what adulthood is.
@@UmaCatLvr-y9z And I'm a queer communist who wants to abolish the family, but I'm not going to act daft about omnipresent sociocultural norms just because I don't personally observe them. 🤷
@@youraftermyrobotbee Thanks for your response.
@@UmaCatLvr-y9z being an antinatalist already puts you at a level of strange bro
I think a good pre-teen show that was released "recently" was julie and the phantoms and it was so good but due to the lack of pre-teen popularity it was cancelled unfortunately
The other day I saw YOUNG girls come into a library holding Starbucks drinks, all make up, fancy clothes, and nails done. I was like.....don't live that life yet!
As much as I'd like to blame social media, I think it doesn't help that there's not as much media, fashion, or products specific for preteens, especially preteen girls, that I think leads to a loss of "preteen girl culture". When I was a preteen there were a good amount of shows and cartoons for preteen girls, age-appropriate makeup (like lip smackers) that was just for fun to add color/gloss/sparkle, not for hiding perceived imperfections. I don't know if there's any fashion trends that are specific to preteens anymore, but when I was young there were always some trends that preteens liked that adults didn't. I remember there were magazines for preteen girls too which were age-appropriate but still trendy and entertaining (like J-14). Video game industry I feel could do better with appealing to young girls too. Sure there are tons of cozy games, but frankly most are boring (or in the case of mobile gaming, extremely p2w), not every young girl especially today just wants cozy as it's more appealing to adults that want to relax. Action games are almost exclusively targeting boys and men, but I think there's a lot of potential to attract young female gamers who are less hindered by gender roles than older women (but which also lot of older women gamers have always wanted).
It is really sad, because I feel Gen Z and Millennials, looking up to older kids was the extent of "being cool and mature", like you'd just have preteens saying they want to be in high school (especially those watching Disney channel teen shows) which is innocent enough. But now it is extreme with going as far as plastic surgery or ruining their skin with products meant for 30+ yr old skin.
Being raised with constant internet access, it is also easier for parents to be unaware of what their kids are doing or watching. I remember everyone feeling shocked when my bf's nephew casually said out of nowhere that he liked a certain infamous influencer/grifter who is widely known for being a rapist and being extremely misogynistic... We'd never have guessed it because it's not like parents or any family member just ask kids "What are all the TH-cam videos you watch?", and this kid in particular never seemed misogynistic so we had no reason to suspect it. I fear if we hadn't caught that in time, he could turn out differently, though. :(
12:10 a large part of the kids who wouldve liked cartoons made for them have moved to adult shows like Hazbin hotel and adult swims because they get called cringe and picked on for enjoying shows that are literally tailored for that age group. Even the nerd kids are being affected by this and it's really sad to see as a 2005 kid who was a part of the beginning of this downhill tumble :( I distinctly remember when the Justice in my area closed down.
(I know Hazbin is definitely bully material, but the children watching it do so because it's an adult show and makes them feel mature)
That tv thing at the end❤ I was born in '93 and you just unlocked some childhood memories ☺️
Cringe culture defiantly has an effect as well hearing things like “this is cringe” and stuff making others feel bad about what they wear even when they dress and act their age. The expansion of internet is not good for an unformed mind
When I was 12-13, I was still wearing very colorful clothes with all sorts of patterns and phrases. Now, the 12-13 year olds I have volunteered with try to tell me what to do and are even dressed better than I am. It's crazy.
Girl… I’m in my mid-thirties now. My oldest will be 10 early next year, and I plan on rewatching “Boy Meets World” with him.
I work with a lot of kids in this age range and I think as some other commenters said, it is somewhat of a very online take. It goes without saying but not all 9-12 year olds act this way but it seems to me the ones that do are the ones using it to hide their awkwardness. Some of the more "well adjusted" kids that I know are very much still into the preteen stuff and have a fun time with it reminiscent of how I felt (sometimes) at that age. The ones that are "growing up too fast" tend to lack confidence and even stability in life which I think a lot of us can relate to. They need space to exist as awkward kids and face less judgement from adults.
It's the "kids don't go outside anymore" crowd that tends to be the biggest culprits of this. From not wanting kids in public spaces to flat out calling the cops when some kids are a bit noisy skateboarding on the sidewalk, they need spaces to be themselves and just exist among one another. I think that if they're given healthy alternatives to social media and screens, that we'll see less of this behavior that isn't deemed age appropriate. These kids need room for personal development in a none-judged way that isn't dictated by following trends online. If you follow a trend you're cool, if you try something outside of the box then you can be looked down on by kids and adults alike.
Anyway, if you got anything from my rambling thoughts, thanks for reading.
I feel like the loss of children's online spaces contributes to this problem. When I was small, my "social media" was filled with children wearing cool virtual clothes and having wings (and some adults pretending to be kids).
Nowadays, kids don't have their own spaces where they dictate what is normal and cool, instead they are thrust into instagram, tiktok, twitter and so forth. Here the adults set the tone for what you are supposed to be. If you are akward, trying to find yourself or, god forbid, cringe. You can get bullied by adults or you can see others get bullied for the same behaviour as you.
Oh shit…
I remember being a teen in the late 90s…it’s insane how things have changed. Great video.
Its sad 😢
I was a tween in the early 90s, and I don't remember a lot of media made specifically for pre-teens at that time. Kids, teens, and adults, yes. But I don't remember pre-teen specific stuff being huge until the early 2000s. Maybe I'm just misremembering, or wasn't exposed. I remember Limited Too being a thing, but we didn't have much money so we never shopped there. I did occasionally manage to buy a pair of earrings at Claire's when malls were still a place worth going to.
Social media definitely makes a difference; it's a way faster way to "learn how to look/act like an adult" than anything I had as a kid. But historically the whole phenomenon around marketing to and creating content/products/media specifically for teens and tweens is relatively new.
I’m a middle school teacher and if it helps, a lot of my girls are still loving their bath and bodywork’s body sprays and friendship necklaces/bracelets! 😂 but they also have Ugg slippers and stunning makeup lol
The struggle is real. I'm currently watching 20 year old Disney shows with my 11 year old because there is literally NOTHING else for her age demographic. Thankfully, most of these shows have aged fairly well. There are only a few that we just couldn't get into. And it does impact them. I'm having to help my daugher navigate through problems with her friends that I didn't have until I was a teen. It's hard enough dealing with those issues as a teen with more brain development. It's near impossible to do it as a pre-teen with no actual life experience. I really wish more parents understood the problem (or even acknowledged that it IS a problem). I actually had to move to a small town to find those authentic kid experiences for my daughter (we moved for work but got that as a bonus). We couldn't find them in a larger city.
My kid that age loves "Craig of the Creek" on Hulu -- highly recommend.
Just Add Magic is really cute
“Nothing for her age demographic”
U realize Disney still makes new shows right? Which are perfectly charming and age appropriate
U could show her a mix of both
@@madnessarcade7447 We've watched a few more modern ones. We really loved Stuck in the MIddle, Sydney to the Max, Star vs the Forces of Evil, and Villains of Valley View. The issue is that they haven't made any shows like that in the last year, and those that were made, were quckly cancelled (Villians and Pretty Freaking Scary just sort of vanished mid-season). So now, we're going back and watching older shows. We're currently watching Raven, and she really likes it. It takes hours to do her hair every week, so we blow through a lot of content.
There is a good show I love called Lego Monkie Kid! It has good lessons, is entertaining, and doesn't have any romance stuff. If you don't mind her watching action and characters with complex stories. The characters are flawed in a good way and even the famous hero, the monkey king, in the story isn't depicted as being right all the time.
There is a few dark themes, so I recommend you watch it for yourself, but it should be digestable.
(It has 5 seasons and 3 specials, I believe. It is on Prime video)
honestly the way social media is implemented in our society nowadays feels so dystopian
This was the most thorough take ive heard on this topic. Well done!
YES! You're so on the money! Amazing video, as always.
I have three kids, 8, 6, and 4 and none of them will get a smart phone until they’re 18. My husband and I both agree.
Good luck with infantalizing ur kids til they turn 18. I dont see that working out for you.