Table News: Birds, Bees, and Fish
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- Bees are fish and birds need the lights off? The news got weird again this week.
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"If bees can be fish and girls can be boys, then why can't my dad love me?"
I never thought I would say this, but I relate to Texas on a spiritual level. There's a reason us cowgirls like to sing sad songs.
I really felt when California said, “I thought I was going to have to fight you, but now I feel like I should hug you.”
I guess Mexico is Texas's Dad?
I don't know if Texas realizes that Dad is Mexico and Spain is Grandpa. With France as a step-grandpa.
And have a ton of daddy issues, Florida loves us some texas sized daddy issues
@@Juice1984 And Florida is Texas's uncle
I can't be the only one that was as confused as Florida about a train hitting a hot air balloon
no iwas to
Trust me you're not m8. I'm still tryna figure out which one was on who's turf and I watched this 8 times
It's not even the first time this year, a Train hit a Plane in the spring.
As a Florida man ill explain it for you, balloon start low,gets high, it breaks goes low again, train goes low,train booms balloon. K?
@@necessaryevile so the balloon just crashed on the rails and peoples are making the story seem more complicated than it is?
Don't worry many Californians are wondering why our politicians didn't just add more laws to protect the bees instead of reclassifying them as fish too.
Easier solution. One quick reclassification which requires very little red tape, or several laws that require a ton of red tape each.
@@ryanflake3481 copy paste? or just add bees to the list of things to protect?
@@walkingvirus487 Yeah, but bills are a pain in the ass to get through the (state) House and (state) Senate, and you just _know_ the GOP in California is going to throw a culture war hissy fit if you try to do anything that protects anything that's not corporate.
Yeah, there’s going to come a time when we need to conserve other insects and loophole with need to be rectified
@@aldenheterodyne2833 California is ran by dems the GOP blowback doesn't matter here
I love how much attention Ben pays to the layout of the table. Everybody looks in different directions to talk to different people.
Someone should make a diagram of where each state is sitting.
@@TheInvisibleCanadia I’m 99% sure Florida and Gov are across from each other, but I can’t decide wether the table is round or rectangular.
@@TheInvisibleCanadia Ben has one
@@ZoellaFischerVA Wait does he really when was it mentioned???
WhaAt?!
Loui summed up the "bees as fish comment perfectly with, "Used to bees!" He's quite philosophical!
we all are down here
"If bees can be fish and girls can be boys, then why can't my dad love me?"
the whiplash on this one is high ...
Texas's dad not loving him really explains a lot. Poor guy.
if I may recommend, check out God save Texas by Lawrence Wright,. The book is a bit tongue and cheek but describes why Texas is the way it is really well.
It's more accurate to say that Texas doesn't like Mexico.
Like him having DID. He's like MoonKnight
"But Ted Cruz Said" "I'm sure he did". Got me so good
Lmao
I’m so glad that you mentioned that Pluto is still always a planet in Arizona, including Northern Arizona.
Can you loop me in on this one? I haven’t heard this before.
@Rapunzel ♪ who
ASKED
As someone from Arizona who's actually been to the observatory where they found Pluto Pluto is a planet and will always be in our hearts
Those of us who grew up in Flagstaff will die on that hill that Pluto is a planet
@@ElijahNMitchell I'm happy you guys get snow, at least.
Florida’s explanation of the fish in the parking lot🤣
I hate that i understood that
Ben’s filming these using natural light and they look amazing.
@Rapunzel ♪ Stop spamming or ich anchluss du
“If bees can be fish and girls can be boys then why can’t my dad love me?”
I choked on my Gatorade, poor Texas
Texas saying his dad doesn't love him hit me like the train hit the hot air balloon.
For a second there, I thought Florida was gonna say “Fish die” instead of “Glub glub.”
"Why can't my dad love me?"
I felt that.
As an Ohioan, I got really excited to see Ohio show up
Then I realized why we showed up
Yeah… sorry.
added to the list of reasons why Michigan is better than Ohio.
Can you release your plan on world domination then?
@@LeakyTrees I will throw a coffee table at you /j
@@darthmaul216 I'd like to, but it's classified and they will send Brutus after me if I reveal anything related to it
The amount of information I just consumed from a 4 minute skit is astounding. Phenomenal work as always Ben
Florida was ready to invoke more chaos after he heard of the Uranus Fudge factory lmao.
Neat fact: PA has the second highest count of banned books in the US. But no one ever quite talks about that.
Edit to Add: Texas leads with 713 at time of writing. Pennsylvania has 456.
ETA 2: EB: The major thing that really shocks me here is PA is an admittedly swing state, but blue leaning. So the fact we out pace 48 other states in number of banned books is really bizarre to me. 3rd place is Florida, with less than half of PA's (204 ATOW).
PA's weird. We also still have prohibition, we just put in so many loopholes that Swiss cheese is jealous.
Why am I just now learning about the banned books?!? 😳 and not that surprised about the prohibition.
@@Firehawk376 it's not so much prohibition as it is stupidly restricted liquor laws. There are steps to loosen up restrictions every couple years though. Like curiada and some.others can get bottles of spirits delivered directly now. We don't need state stores exclusively for it. And we don't need the city beverage distributors for beer anymore either.
@@TheTrueUlfhednar Like I said: Prohibition with infinite loopholes.
Honestly I know that probably all states have some books that are banned and there's probably more banned books than I'm even aware of it, but the idea of it is kinda scary. I think we attach a LOT of very dictatorial leadership to the idea of book banning and stuff. I don't know what's banned in those states, but I hope you guys can work towards unbanning anything that is actually good. (Sorry I realize it sounds like useless fluff I'm just... not in those states and have no clue)
As someone from arizona I would like to say that new mexico still recognizes pluto as a planet.
Yes 😂
I was just raised by a gen x, i think it's a plant
thank you so much for keeping up this series! it makes my day whenever i see an update :)
When he talked about Ohio being late O thought he was gunna talk about the massive floods that have happened the last couple of weeks (that took out our fence and nearly got some of our animals) but what he actually talked about was a lot worse
for real, ohio weather can't make up its mind. where i live, most days are too hot to go outside and the other half are thunderstorms with tornado warnings. we've had to hide in our basement multiple times while up to our ankles in water
@homo weirdus yeah, just last night we had a major storm that blew away all of our porch furniture :(
Fun fact about the birds/lights thing! The CN Tower (in Toronto, Canada) dims its lights during migration season! It's optional, but they do it!
this one was chuck full of laughs , puns and Florida miming fish!🐟🐝
Man, you make me laugh out loud and a minute later, grimace and shake my head. It's a roller coaster ride living in this country right now, and not a fun one.
And in weekly table news that ben didn't see this week: A man in Oklahoma City scaled a 52 story building without any equipment, in a spiderman suit. He called himself the Spiderman pro live activist.
Just thought someone might find that interesting.
I was very much expecting the other states to chime in about bloopers/have a conversation during the bloopers. Sorta forgot they were all the same person for a second.
2:19 Gov is starting to get smart-
California considers bees fish wow and also it's now confirmed Texas isn't loved by his dad and that is also a perfect route into my question are you considering doing more countries at the table if so I recommend Britain France and maybe Mexico since they are parents to loads of state's also I consider the states that used to be part of Mexico to be Mexico's kids and Spain to be the grandad also also I know alaska hawaii and Florida have different parents.
Flordia has mentioned Spain as his dad in past.
@@Lolfuny ya if Spain does show up I really would want to see how the rest of them would try to return Florida.
Louisiana has a different parent too.. though he's likely been disowned entirely
@@Celticrose9999 I consider France to Louisianas parent.
have you herad the good word of commas and full stops/periods
"Storm big, water high, parking lot flood, fish swim, glub glub." I laughed way harder at that than I expected to in the setup.
I like to think that Texas was referring to Mexico being his father.
As an Oregonian. I always get happy when Oregon shows up. These skits are amazing.
All jokes aside, I have stopped at Uranus MO and picked up some fudge. They have some of the best fudge I’ve ever had.
Yes, Uranus Missouri is a real place and they have a fudge factory there... They know what they are doing.
It saddens me that Indiana decided to copy this with our own town named Uranus that also has a fudge factory. We're so unoriginal
I went there on my way to Neosho, MO. I have never laughed so hard 😭 Just know, if I ever say that I’m mature, I’m lying 😂
so Texas' dad? Mexico? theres an interesting relationship dive
I was just thinking that. Also, his brother, New Mexico, would be the family favorite and successor who took on dad's name as a junior. California is the black sheep and Nevada's the fraternal twin that California doesn't want folks to pay attention to.
Weird idaho laws please
1 it is illegal on sunday for a snake to bite a human unless it is snowing
2 it is illegal to fish off a camel's back
3 its also illegal to fish off of a giraffe's back
4 lawyers must not charge widows for moving there piano from one room to the next
5 you many not fish off an alligators back either
What happened for that 4th one to be needed?
Florida gonna have a great time with the 5th one. But a camel? Come on what if the big dude likes to fish?
How are they going to enforce the first one?
Anytime Florida is at the table, it gets that weird that quick.
Florida is almost always at the table.
As a Missourian, it was good to finally see us again! Hope we get a Welcome to the table at sone point. Also, Pluto will ALWAYS be a planet, you don't have to be Arizona to know that!
as always, the bloopers are my favorite XD. Ok, I lied. All of this was my favorite, but I REALLY enjoy that you put the bloopers in here too.
The happy pride month at the end got me lol! Shows how much they don’t care
As someone who's lived in Southern Missouri for a short while, I can confirm the existence of the Uranus Fudge Factory🤣
These are soooo funny! Thank you so much for giving me a moment to enlighten and laugh at my day! You should add Iowa to The Table next.
As a citizen from another nation, this is highly educative and entertaining to learn about United States.
I have been binging your contents and loving them all.
I love it when GOV gets a win. They're so rare!
This was three minutes of pure amazing that have totally brightened my day! Thank you!
Florida had to return to the caveman days to teach the government something simple.
YAY!! Arizona is in a sketch! It’s been to long. The only reason why I even know we only have 8 planets is because my 3rd grade teacher embraced it in us. Seriously she was very strict when it came to Pluto not being a planet. We still say it is tho
Even though your dad doesn't love you, we love you, Ben!!!
This one was all over the damn place. Can't wait to see how you split this one into parts for Shorts and TikTok.
In Missouri we have a town named tightwad. And they have a “tightwad bank.”
As someone who grew up in Flagstaff, AZ: yes, very true regarding Pluto! Always a planet in my book
Thank you for bringing up NY again. We try to be the common sense of the country, even when we fail a lot.
Oh, and Wisconsin "the balloon hit the Canadian train!" The poor NTSB is trying to figure out how it happened! The rest of us are wondering "Why? Do they expect something like this to happen again?
At least the 3 injured people are out of the hospital. I guess the train is okay?
If you also live in Missouri you know that even when we are mentioned everyone looks right over us. like we are not even apart of the country.
I always enjoy it when I see MO in a vid. Still waiting for the "Missouri Joins the Table" video to see exactly how bad the rest of the country sees us.
My "best case" scenario for that is a "missour-ee" / missour-uh" dual identity, like Texas / Austin .... but that would be dipping in the same well too often, probably.
@@Partstim or in the same vein like a STL/KC vs MO type thing
This is by far my fav episode 🤣🤣🤣
ive watched it like 20 times
Awww Texas made me a little sad, always great, Ben.
Oh, for Missouri, you should check out the Cardinals hats. The most common is the red flat bill with a white SL, it'll really make your Missourian. If you prefer blue, we've got the Rams hats, those are mostly found in western Missouri.
We like to advertise our sports more than the brewery. Can't be looking like a drinker in front of the people you go to church with, regardless of whether we acknowledge each other at the bar on Sunday afternoons or not.
I love how you mentioned the thing in Ohio. When I found that out I was pissed.
That’s way too personal for fucking children, they should be aloud privacy.
“the WHAT??” Made me laughing 😊😊😊
That Oregon trail shirt is hilarious, it’s a little detail I appreciate
“Storm big water high parking lot flood fish swim glub glub”. “I hate that I understood that”😂😂😂
Justice for Pluto!
No. Pluto is not a planet
I was born in Arkansas, and lived in Texas for about two years, and it sucks to see them be the bad guys. I get why, and they 100% deserve to be the bad guys, but it’s still sad that I can’t be as proud to be from or to have lived in these places.
Same! I have some sort of love for my southern home states, but man it sucks how much they suck! Though I’m still living down here as a person who leans democrat and the pressure living in a small town in the south with that point of view. It’s hard sometimes.
I just blissfully ignore the bad and focus on the BBQ 🙂
@@introvertedasheck I feel that!
Don't worry, in a hundred years history will be more proud of TX than CA or NY
@@andrewrodgers8596 I highly doubt that unless every state you mentioned does basically a complete 180.
LETS GO ACTUALLY FUNNY POLITICAL SATIRE
That last one is really hard to laugh at because it got _real_ serious _real_ quick
For me it's like gallows humor. I live here, I'm trans, so the way it's presented is funny to me and helping me cope.
Uranus fudge factory is the third coolest thing in missouri behind the st Louis zoo and our love for baseball.
Just another good one. I hope when you make it to Massachusetts we can get tickets
States: What about Uranus?
Me: *Grabs popcorn*
I didn’t know about that baloon train accident. Which is weird because I live like 30 minutes from Burlington. You would think I would have heard that on the local news
Thank you for including Ohio finally.
You are the reason I love being Floridian
Who knows it probably feels like they’re swimming from the perspective of a bee
Bruh this is the funniest episode in a while
Beautiful work
I think Texas needs a hug 1:09
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE 😭
Storm big. fish glub glub 🤣🤣🤣
y’all, we need to pray for texas 💀
Fun fact about Arizona's Lowell Observatory: it was originally used to look at "canals" on Mars, as people thought that Mars had canals (turns out it was just an illusion).
Gov came with the sass this week 😂
So if you want something... fun for PA 2 folks had to be rescued on thursday from a vat of chocolate at the Etown M&M Mars factory.
Amazing /s
Nah but a skit on my birthday is fantastic, thanks for all the giggles!! ❤️❤️❤️
Love it when more then the main 5 are in a episode... even if that mean Ohio makes an appearance.
Do you say that as someone who lives in Ohio or someone who just doesn't like Ohio?
AZ freaking out about Pluto is so us.
1:38 fl: storm big water high parking lot flood fish swim glub glub and the Texas joke cracked me up xD
I love Oregon’s Oregon trail shirt lmao
Storm big
Water high
Parking lot flood
Fish swim
GLUB GLUB
This one got me 😂
*looks at title* pov: when you're parent walks in the room when watching an up till that point perfectly normal and appropriate TV show.
OMG TEXAS!🥺 That explains soo much ......
(thinks deeply about a "birds and the fish" book) I think I have an idea!!! (in my best Florida voice)
I just snorted my drink out my nose at work. Thanks.
Thank you sooooo much for talking about Trans issues without being discriminatory or making them the butt of a joke!
Can't wait for Missouri to officially join the table
As someone who lives in Miami
Yeah lmao, it’s been constantly raining and flooding for like.. weeks straigjt it feels.. Water high, water high indeed.
“But Ted Cruz said!-“ “I’m sure he did.” Comedy gold
Missouri is so unknown for anything but that damn fudge factory 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I related so much with Texas @1:07 to 1:09
Yeah bees and fish got me when i saw that google news headline.
I like this series
Every week i come back to the table to learn what happened in the last week within 5-10 minutes
This is the only way I get news