Thank you for bringing up 1st Timothy 5:2. This is a very underlooked scripture when it comes to relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ. Especially with men and how they are to engage with women within the church. They should be treated with the same love, care, and protection as a brother would a sister.
Honestly, I thought that "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was an amazing book with a lot of great points. The problem begins when people read the book and then either overthink everything or get legalistic. I loved the book and think there are a lot of things about "courtship" that I want to bring into my relationships, but I also have to realize that it is okay to not have everything planned out from the beginning, to make some mistakes (relational mistakes, not physical ones I will regret), and make sure that the ultimate goal of every relationship is growing in God. A lot of people object to courting because the ultimate goal seems to be marriage, but I disagree with that idea.
I don't know if it is a cultural thing, but here in Brazil the problem is twofold: Women who like lies and men that are feminine. If a guy approach a girl, him being fully honest from the very beginning, he will be promptly rejected by most. The more masculine a girl is, the more probable it will be that she may say yes to him. It is like the girl wanted to be led to a relationship as she didn't know what was happening, and then the guy would find a perfect moment to try a kiss. If this is the way, then the guy must enter in a game of lies, until that "perfect moment" comes. And women are taught by culture that men like that. Only when women are getting to their 30's they begin to be more sincere about their feelings and then men can be more open in what they are doing, reflecting their fear of not marrying. The work that needs to be done here lies on these two things: Teach men how to be men and teach women how to respond to guys who try to approach them.
The Orthodox Jewish way, because we also put a premium on purity, is that a couple is introduced by someone who knows both of them and thinks they might be a match. They meet and talk about values, morals, ideas for family and career, money, children etc. etc. If they are compatible in those areas and they like each other, they will meet several other times, but not alone and they will decide that they would be a good match or not. If they do, they get engaged and the wedding is planned not too many months later. Couples are usually young. Parents are supportive and would rather see them married while finishing their educations, even if that means supporting the financially the same as if they were single. We don't believe in exposing them to temptation, either with their chosen partner or by being single for a long time. But there's a lot, culturally that goes into this. As I said, the parents are prepared to contribute to their support in the early days and the Bar Mitzva is more than a party. It really is the entry to adulthood and the kids are expected to take on some of the responsibilities in the family that will prepare them for having families of their own. Having gone thru the dating scene both pre-Christian and after, with my second husband, I am really in favor of this method. I was 41 and my husband was 35 when we met and we wanted to wait til marriage, which we did but it wasn't easy. We were engaged in 2 months and married in 8. If you are looking for real lifelong values not just someone to have fun with, that is plenty of time. Oh and btw, there is no touching in Jewish courtship and my husband and I didn't touch either. Contrary to the opinion expressed below, it builds a more intense closeness and intimacy once you are married because you can trust that person to have self control and your interests at heart. There's no cheap gratification. And when we separate for several days a month, the reunion is like another honeymoon.
@@TheJpep2424 How is that relevant? You should be looking for more ways to be moral if you believe in Jesus. The two idea are not mutually exclusive. Jesus was a Jew. This is how his parents married.
📺 Out of curiosity, have you seen that new limited TV series, 'Unorthodox,' from NetFlix? 🗽I'm from New York City-though from Queens and not Brooklyn-and it was shocking to learn the details of this world, only right next to me.
I might be missing something here but I'm thinking that "Christian dating" was spending time with someone you're attracted to (or might be attracted to) and doing unto that person as you would have them do unto you.
I can say honestly that being 37 years old, I would have never experienced a real relationship with a woman outside of my family had I followed Joshua Harris' method of "courtship." The reason why courting is a bad idea is because the person you're doing it with could secretly be dating someone else as a backup plan in case they get tired of the whole "courting" ritual. Also, it damages the opportunity for closeness and true unity as no physical touching, not even a hug or hand shake, is allowed during the process. You could sit by a single woman close to you in age in church, then go to lunch with her in a small group, and that could technically qualify as courting. Call it for what it really is, "how to comfortably be around a member of the opposite sex, knowing that they may or may not have you permanently friend zoned."
How about asking God to give you the wife? He knows who’s best for you,Since falling in love is number one in America,if you are in love with somebody it’s OK to get married and after you got married ,if you fall in love with somebody else is OK to divorced and married again !
First thing’s first, women didn’t come from a man-rib. Second, don’t treat women that aren’t your fam like a mother or a sister.. that’s messed up. Treat them like equal human beings that you respect more than yourself.
The religion of sex had twisted everyone's values to the deep end it's downright sad. Where in this big blue world would treating others as your siblings or parents be "messed up"? Please check yourself before you heck yourself.
I know my situation is different than some, but I would never marry anyone either of them wanted me too. My mother did not like me and would have hooked me up with someone I would never have considered. My father is a narcissist and would have chosen a toothless, uneducated bubba for him to pal around with. Not someone who would make a good mate for me. So, in my case, absolutely not!
Wynnye Key Don’t sell them so short. Who you marry, they’ll be marrying to some extent, too. They’ll have the motivation to find the right mate for you AND them. Why wouldn’t they?
@@Moochi4 a) Assuming dating always leads to marriage. b) Purity Culture c) Satan doesn't exist and doesn't care if you're all having sex. But your church friends seem to care a WHOLE LOT about how much sex you're having. d) Having sex before marriage is not something you regret UNLESS you've grown up in a community that shames it and associates it with evil (Like Christianity) It's not the act that's shameful, it's the stigma from your community and then likely your future spouse that leads to regret. e) Treat women as individuals. Not the "mother/sister" stuff. There's no duality where women have to be a nun, relative or a sex object. Treat them as friends, co-workers, strangers, it's not hard. f) Duality here of "It's Satan's greatest desire that you have sex before marriage" and "god wants you to grow in desire in your relationship", which doesn't make any sense, if god's giving you the desire then why is it Satan's will for you to indulge? Sounds like god's will.
@@LMilface Hey Champion I think I'm getting a word for you from the Lord. I hope you don't mind me practicing on you. I feel there was a place that you were before, that was better than this and God desires for you to go there. Before all this underlying resentment and hostility came in. I want you to know I'm not judging you at all and can totally understand your frustration..I'm just sensing the Lord desiring your heart even above your progressive sexual views if that makes sense. He adores you..and I sense that you two shared something really special before and I sense that it was much better and I keep hearing "go back to where you were before" because it was better and you can actually get there. do the things you did before.
@@Fallbr00kwhat Sorry, I think you're getting the message for the wrong person. Or maybe the messages are just your subconscious trying to say the right thing to justify your views. Nice that you care but these types of cold reading can be really harmful to the people your religion does not accept.
@@LMilface Hmm. Well thank you for obliging me anyway..You seemed like the type I could practice on without fear of scaring you for life :P So please I have to know. Were you ever on fire for God? And if so what led to you arriving on the type of views you have now?
Relationships can be so much better! Get and read THE UNSPOKEN SECRET: How to find and keep the right partner by GRAM, JOHN . It has personally given me an insight to having a better relationship especially being a Christian.
Thank you for bringing up 1st Timothy 5:2. This is a very underlooked scripture when it comes to relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ. Especially with men and how they are to engage with women within the church. They should be treated with the same love, care, and protection as a brother would a sister.
Sooooo grateful for my brothers who love me and treat me like a sister.
An alternative model for the YRR would be 'Dordtship':
Where you go on five dates, and on each date talk about a different point of Calvinism.
NinjaCell only one?! Gotta make sure shes solid on all 5! Haha jk
so, here's why calvinism is heretical and wicked!
Honestly, I thought that "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" was an amazing book with a lot of great points. The problem begins when people read the book and then either overthink everything or get legalistic. I loved the book and think there are a lot of things about "courtship" that I want to bring into my relationships, but I also have to realize that it is okay to not have everything planned out from the beginning, to make some mistakes (relational mistakes, not physical ones I will regret), and make sure that the ultimate goal of every relationship is growing in God. A lot of people object to courting because the ultimate goal seems to be marriage, but I disagree with that idea.
You realize the guy that wrote that book "I kissed dating goodbye" apologized for it and is no longer a Christian.
@@bilbobaggins4403 he was never a Christian to begin with
Can’t wait to watch the follow up video!
Grace and Peace Brother. Loving these videos already.
Good video Brother. Useful information.
Great info but PLEASE knock off the background 'music.' Distracting. Makes it sound like an infomercial. You don't need it.
LOL
Great lesson
Thanks for sharing
1:50 - that’s exactly what my channel trailer is about.
I don't know if it is a cultural thing, but here in Brazil the problem is twofold: Women who like lies and men that are feminine. If a guy approach a girl, him being fully honest from the very beginning, he will be promptly rejected by most. The more masculine a girl is, the more probable it will be that she may say yes to him.
It is like the girl wanted to be led to a relationship as she didn't know what was happening, and then the guy would find a perfect moment to try a kiss. If this is the way, then the guy must enter in a game of lies, until that "perfect moment" comes. And women are taught by culture that men like that.
Only when women are getting to their 30's they begin to be more sincere about their feelings and then men can be more open in what they are doing, reflecting their fear of not marrying.
The work that needs to be done here lies on these two things: Teach men how to be men and teach women how to respond to guys who try to approach them.
The Orthodox Jewish way, because we also put a premium on purity, is that a couple is introduced by someone who knows both of them and thinks they might be a match. They meet and talk about values, morals, ideas for family and career, money, children etc. etc. If they are compatible in those areas and they like each other, they will meet several other times, but not alone and they will decide that they would be a good match or not. If they do, they get engaged and the wedding is planned not too many months later. Couples are usually young. Parents are supportive and would rather see them married while finishing their educations, even if that means supporting the financially the same as if they were single. We don't believe in exposing them to temptation, either with their chosen partner or by being single for a long time. But there's a lot, culturally that goes into this. As I said, the parents are prepared to contribute to their support in the early days and the Bar Mitzva is more than a party. It really is the entry to adulthood and the kids are expected to take on some of the responsibilities in the family that will prepare them for having families of their own. Having gone thru the dating scene both pre-Christian and after, with my second husband, I am really in favor of this method. I was 41 and my husband was 35 when we met and we wanted to wait til marriage, which we did but it wasn't easy. We were engaged in 2 months and married in 8. If you are looking for real lifelong values not just someone to have fun with, that is plenty of time. Oh and btw, there is no touching in Jewish courtship and my husband and I didn't touch either. Contrary to the opinion expressed below, it builds a more intense closeness and intimacy once you are married because you can trust that person to have self control and your interests at heart. There's no cheap gratification. And when we separate for several days a month, the reunion is like another honeymoon.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through him. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.
@@TheJpep2424 How is that relevant? You should be looking for more ways to be moral if you believe in Jesus. The two idea are not mutually exclusive. Jesus was a Jew. This is how his parents married.
📺 Out of curiosity, have you seen that new limited TV series, 'Unorthodox,' from NetFlix?
🗽I'm from New York City-though from Queens and not Brooklyn-and it was shocking to learn the details of this world, only right next to me.
Dortship---- I headn't heard of that. Maybe I got married before that came out.
That sounds like Reformed Confessional Dating-- Dort.... Dortship.
Love it! Great wisdom! God bless you and your ministry :)
Helpful!
first things first, I need to go out for coffee haha
I might be missing something here but I'm thinking that "Christian dating" was spending time with someone you're attracted to (or might be attracted to) and doing unto that person as you would have them do unto you.
Is dating idea/desire from the flesh or from God?
I can say honestly that being 37 years old, I would have never experienced a real relationship with a woman outside of my family had I followed Joshua Harris' method of "courtship." The reason why courting is a bad idea is because the person you're doing it with could secretly be dating someone else as a backup plan in case they get tired of the whole "courting" ritual. Also, it damages the opportunity for closeness and true unity as no physical touching, not even a hug or hand shake, is allowed during the process. You could sit by a single woman close to you in age in church, then go to lunch with her in a small group, and that could technically qualify as courting. Call it for what it really is, "how to comfortably be around a member of the opposite sex, knowing that they may or may not have you permanently friend zoned."
So you can marry your sister or your mom.?
You can not date and be emotional pure on your wedding day. Arrange marriage is how they did things in jesus days and how things should be done now.
He said progress from dating to marriage? Engagement? He hee hee
How about asking God to give you the wife? He knows who’s best for you,Since falling in love is number one in America,if you are in love with somebody it’s OK to get married and after you got married ,if you fall in love with somebody else is OK to divorced and married again !
First thing’s first, women didn’t come from a man-rib.
Second, don’t treat women that aren’t your fam like a mother or a sister.. that’s messed up.
Treat them like equal human beings that you respect more than yourself.
The religion of sex had twisted everyone's values to the deep end it's downright sad.
Where in this big blue world would treating others as your siblings or parents be "messed up"?
Please check yourself before you heck yourself.
Let parents match their children with the right mate.
I know my situation is different than some, but I would never marry anyone either of them wanted me too. My mother did not like me and would have hooked me up with someone I would never have considered. My father is a narcissist and would have chosen a toothless, uneducated bubba for him to pal around with. Not someone who would make a good mate for me. So, in my case, absolutely not!
Wynnye Key
Don’t sell them so short. Who you marry, they’ll be marrying to some extent, too. They’ll have the motivation to find the right mate for you AND them. Why wouldn’t they?
If you blew it like me, then there’s no need to even bother. I made my bed and now I will lye in it.
2019, and these people are still believing all these crap...
Ugh this whole video was gross.
How?
@@Moochi4 a) Assuming dating always leads to marriage.
b) Purity Culture
c) Satan doesn't exist and doesn't care if you're all having sex. But your church friends seem to care a WHOLE LOT about how much sex you're having.
d) Having sex before marriage is not something you regret UNLESS you've grown up in a community that shames it and associates it with evil (Like Christianity) It's not the act that's shameful, it's the stigma from your community and then likely your future spouse that leads to regret.
e) Treat women as individuals. Not the "mother/sister" stuff. There's no duality where women have to be a nun, relative or a sex object. Treat them as friends, co-workers, strangers, it's not hard.
f) Duality here of "It's Satan's greatest desire that you have sex before marriage" and "god wants you to grow in desire in your relationship", which doesn't make any sense, if god's giving you the desire then why is it Satan's will for you to indulge? Sounds like god's will.
@@LMilface Hey Champion I think I'm getting a word for you from the Lord. I hope you don't mind me practicing on you.
I feel there was a place that you were before, that was better than this and God desires for you to go there. Before all this underlying resentment and hostility came in. I want you to know I'm not judging you at all and can totally understand your frustration..I'm just sensing the Lord desiring your heart even above your progressive sexual views if that makes sense.
He adores you..and I sense that you two shared something really special before and I sense that it was much better and I keep hearing "go back to where you were before" because it was better and you can actually get there. do the things you did before.
@@Fallbr00kwhat Sorry, I think you're getting the message for the wrong person. Or maybe the messages are just your subconscious trying to say the right thing to justify your views. Nice that you care but these types of cold reading can be really harmful to the people your religion does not accept.
@@LMilface Hmm. Well thank you for obliging me anyway..You seemed like the type I could practice on without fear of scaring you for life :P So please I have to know. Were you ever on fire for God? And if so what led to you arriving on the type of views you have now?
Relationships can be so much better! Get and read THE UNSPOKEN SECRET: How to find and keep the right partner by GRAM, JOHN . It has personally given me an insight to having a better relationship especially being a Christian.