What happens when he pulls away but still texts everyday but very minimal and I stopped spending time with him in person, I don’t initiate texts and keep my responses short because of him not initiating when we get together. It should be 50/50 not just one person doing this!
When a guy is being distant I get anxious and I am so want to go check and find out. When we talk again, I suddently feel less interested and I start pulling away. Lol what happened? I am getting to know a guy from tinder, we talked for a month but not dating yet. Am I subconsciously looking for a better one? But try to get this one stick around? I guess women do the same shits, it is not just guy thing
Real men don't pull a way. They come and talk to you heart to heart, mind to mind.Explain and say their good bye's humane and respectful way. Those he talks about are players, immature men and men who have serious relationship and confidence/self-esteem issues. PERIOD. (I am psycholgist specilised on relationships more than 28 years.)
That’s what I’m gonna do. If he pulls away I will pull away myself too.. I will mirror what he does and let him feel what I feel too and see afterwards
Yep... I have no idea, but it always works for me. When I am nice, that’s not what they want. When I am indifferent, not mean, it always has a better outcome. “Always”
It’s ironic...the things we are supposed to herald as the qualities that make a relationship great (affection, reliability, honesty) are the very things that “turn” potential love interests off. I wonder why we should be expected to sit around waiting and hoping a guy will miss us all the while pretending to be more unavailable than we actually are. I have done this before, but it never feels good. I would much rather a guy recognize my good qualities and not become freaked out because I was everything I said I was going to be. A good relationship shouldn’t be grounded on game playing.
Tigress Tiger Honestly the best thing to do in my opinion is to stand up for what you need for your life, no games, just being in alignment with your values. And that could mean texting someone less or being less invested, but it’s not done to manipulate someone to act differently. I get why people look up these videos though, it can be frustrating when you like someone and the feeling isn’t mutual.
@@str5295 Best advice I ever received, if they don’t accept me as my authentic self, I let them slip through like sand in my fingers! Filtering out the ones not meant for us, and love our lives and appreciate ourselves just as we are
@@annaschadewald1576 I walked away from a Breadcrumber now he's trying to contact me for 2 days and I'm ignoring him. Why is he trying to contact me desperately if he never wanted to talk to me to begin with??....I hope he goes away soon...
If a guy pulls away there’s a strong possibility he’s simply over it or has relegated you To booty call status. These types are usually hot and heavy fast, then they fade or ghost. They start it and create the whirlwind. It’s a pattern and there’s a lot of them out there. U can play games to get him back but he’ll most likely act interested again for sex and then disappear.
yes, sounds very familiar, this guy is an asshole, he told me up front that we are just having sex, and he doesn’t let me say more. I have asked him why and he doesn’t respond, he said he doesn’t want a relationship, divorced twice, selfish, he gets what he wants then ghosts for a while from one week to two, 3, 4, even 5 weeks, and he sees other women and has a rotation, then he lies to get me again. He has never invited me on a date. He takes me for granted. This has been going on for one year! I ignore him back, then I wait and when I think he was not going to come back he does. And I have fallen again over and over because I like him very much and I see possibilities, but the man is just having fun with multiple partners! omg and I know I have to get over him and move on.
When you've been single so long that when the new dude does this it just feels like the good ol' days and you immediately go into that loner vibe and it jusr feels like home.
If he pull away or act “distant” I’m blocking. Who that hell about to play these cat and mouse games with these little boys😑 Nah, it’s men out here who is of high value and will value the bond he has with you. Not doing all of this
My boyfriend of almost 2 years recently told me that I "dictate his life" just because I want to be wtih him every weekend since we're apart during the work week.....🙄
sometimes I get the feeling he likes me and other times it feels like he's being distant. sometimes he'll say "thank you" fully instead of "ty" and we always say good morning and goodnight but this time he just said "night". I really like him and I don't wanna lose him. all I want is him. I know that we could be something special.
i was acting quite mysterious, not letting him know everything, still keeping flirtatious and letting him know i’m interested, everything was perfectly fine going well, he was chasing me. all of a sudden i woke up one day and he started being cold with me 😂? after telling me how much he liked me, he told me hes willing to get to know me properly and everything and invited me to his birthday in a couple of weeks and now hes acting so distant.. ive not been too much or too little 😂 he was literally chasing me and has gone all quiet
I'm going to guess your game failed miserably, he "one-upped" you and flipped the script on you, and then you changed and either got angry or asked him what was going on, and he took off the minute he saw you become weak. It's all control.
One of the best videos ever Elliot!! Short, real, sweet and straight to the point! This video is nothing but the truth, I can’t even stress it enough. It’s easy watching it ladies, but we gotta put it into action when guy is in front of you, talking to you etc. rewatch the video before you talk/ encounter the guy to remind you of what you to do and not to do! Elliott you are there truth I appreciate you and all that you do! 🙏🏽 you give me life!
Or ladies, just talk to other guys even on social media, be friendly, and let him know you got options, that you own yourself and he doesn't. Play hard to keep.
Doesn't matter to me either way. TH-cam doesn't penalize you at all for thumbs down. They actually reward you bc they view it as interaction so if I had 100% down it'd be no different than 100% thumbs up :). That's why I troll the comments sometimes to just have women comment over and over arguing haha. It helps the algorithm lol
The problem with these tactics is it can easily backfire. Depending on the man, he might play along for a little, but will eventually withdraw and move on.
I walked away from a Breadcrumber now he's trying to contact me for 2 days and I'm ignoring him. Why is he trying to contact me desperately if he never wanted to talk to me to begin with??....I hope he goes away soon...
People in general are not a scarse asset. People that make you feel seen with all your specific needs, emotions and thoughts are. So if a person isnt that interested in you will not experience interest in your specific needs emotions and thoughts its ok too - just an other humanbeing you met. Dont expect anything.
I can feel him pulling away and asked if everything was okay. Got no response. This after he tells me he likes me and wants a relationship. Super confused. Just have to pull away myself. Have to be okay with either outcome and just let it go.
Girl nah fuck that. He messed up… you should have called it quits for his crappy behavior right then and there. Ur a queen.. don’t be ok with either outcome. Don’t be ok with how he decided it was okay to treat you
Elliot, my guy has a dismissive avoidant attachment style.. can u do a video about that? This kind of people need a lot of space and sometimes it's painful to be in a relationship with them. Update: he dumped me. Said he has committment issues.. I'm glad we broke up , my self esteem was hitting an all time low
Neetu Anna these videos aren’t helpful for people who have an attachment disorder. It’s almost impossible to make it work with a DA unless you’re extremely secure. Your needs will never be met. You should check out more videos about dismissive avoidants and relationships. Elliot is great overall
I was in a situation like that / I had to pull away from him cuz he wasn’t giving me anything & now he’s in therapy so step away from him u can’t fix him don’t even try
Can you do a video about pulling away? How to actually do that? Is it just a matter of ignoring him? what if he does reach out? just don't answer right away? don't accept dates?
Really insightful vid. U made 2 impt points. He took me for granted and he is facing pressure. So he backed off. I have dreams and goals and till now, he dont have his 5 year planning. So he back off. I started no contact already but im literally bleeding already. But i am still gonna persist on with no contact because i want to create that opportunity to let him miss me
I was seeing a guy for 4 weeks everything was great .. he went very quiet .. he told me a few days later he wasn’t coping with life and had to see his Doctor .. I told him I’d give him space and that I thought he was lovely . How long do I wait ? I mean can’t we share our problems together ?
this sounds a lot like my toronto high school and I can relate to this on sooo many ways! I admire how you are able to outsmart them and pick up on these flags
After me and my bf got back together, there was few incident that made me realize that he is playing me or something like that. The last time was, he called me and tell me he misses me etc... and said good night to me. Then couple second later, i got a txt from him says “ on the way... will be there soon” so i called back and told him wrong person. He said he didnt send that txt. The phone did it lol. So i said yeah the phone txted that to me. And told him, maybe he should change my name on his phone to clarise so he doesnt get confused lol. Then he tried to call me back and sent me a video of him and his friend. Then i called him back and pretend that I believed him. Maybe like 15 min of facetiming him, his phone died. Lol. Didnt call back nothing. But most of the time like 90% his phone is dead at night or maybe he set to airplane mode lol. Since then, i told myself, im not letting him fooling me again like before especially now that he is distant. Not going to beg him anymore to spare his time with me.
What if u feel like you should try being distant like him and that ends up being a mistake and he might get the wrong signs about what you’re trying to do? I don’t wanna lose this guy but I don’t no what I should do
Tried this. We just ignore eachother for months. Another option is to look at yourself and see if YOU changed. What does he like about you? Has he verbalized it? Have u stopped some of those things? If you have changed for the better and you feel like you are putting yourself first in your life's goals then maybe it is time to take your leave bc he isn't on the same page... If your life has changed for the worse, then maybe you can bring some of those things back into your life that you used to do. Be that person that he originally fell in love with. Right now there are a lot of failing relationships due to what is going on in the world and the depression that it is causing. Decide if you can make a change for the better and bring that original person back into the picture. And another thing to consider is if he has changed. Because then there is nothing you can do. You should never try to change your positive values to meet someone else's.
Well I became friends with my new neighbor. His landlord is a good friend and asked me to help out as he was leaving the country for a while and his new tenant was new to the area. We became fast friends and eventually started sleeping together. Buddies still. All our conversations and there have been many... He is not wanting anything with anyone. He has represented himself as one person. Then he says he loves me (in the act) which threw me for a loop and was completely unexpected. I asked him about it a few days later and he repeated that he loved me. This was outta left field for me. But we have been hanging out almost a year now. I didn't say Iove you back but was willing to talk about it and why it threw me for a loop. Now he's avoiding me. Wants a completely plutonic friendship now. Says there is touch confusion. 🙄
I feel like he become distant as soon as I stopped working and went back to school may be he thinks I will depend on him but actually no I don’t have a plan to depend on no man, I think this is the right time for me to forces on becoming more healthy
I’ll be honest with you, because most of the ones that are good in relationships are in relationships. The people still dating way into their 40s and 50s and 30s and whatever, it’s because they can’t maintain a stable relationship for whatever reason. It may not be their fault, but it makes dating extremely hard the older you get because the people who are going to fall into functional relationships have pretty much already done that at that point unless something bad has happened to them. And I’m saying this as a polyamorous person who is still dates in my 30s and is married, the people who aren’t in any kind of relationship with anybody else always seem to have something going on with them that makes communicating with them or having any kind of relationship with them extremely difficult
Dating only gets harder the older we get. At 47 it is brutal. All emotionally scarred, damaged, and suspicious because we're not single for nothing. We've had some bad crap happen to us or we wouldn't be single.
Are you married and in an open relationship? If so, you should expect friction when dating single people, given that you are emotionally unavailable yourself. Furthermore, broken people come in all flavors, I have met a lot of people in relationships that are unstable/toxic. And healthy single people.
We had a really great time and now he’s bad at texting says he’s feeling me a lot and will work on it.. we haven’t seen eachother in 5 days he will go without texting me for hours I’m sick of it
Mine gets distant and cold but when I do the same back and pull away he gets offended?? And then „ignores“ me back as well.I seriously don’t get it,it fucks me up When it takes me longer to reply to a text, and then I eventually answer he answers immediately BUT THEN ignores me half a day to a full day until he answers me again. And also watches my social media stories while he’s ignoring me to make sure that I know that he ignores me.
He just wants that satisfaction knowing that you're always gonna be there no matter how he treats you. A guy has done it to me. It never worked out, I knew if I didn't cut ties he was just gonna continue to manipulate me but once I was gone, and I didnt say anything, just silently moved on he tried 3 different times to come back over the past 5 years telling me how I got away. Haha it wasn't like i had much of a choice. Most men today seem to love the chase more than anything, they want the love without the commitment.
Faeries_Xylia 923 I actually to truly believe that he loves/loved me. It’s just really annoying bc he doesn’t wanna let me go but also doesn’t appreciate it when I stay... and it hurts bc I rlly do love him with all my heart
@@oceankiraz2940 yeah.. mine didn't love me. But I got over it. I mean you know him better than we ever will so follow what you truly think is right for you. Good luck 💜
Oh these kind of childish games are ridiculous, just move on, you don’t need that. If someone is not satisfying your desire for connection and plays games, it’s really not worth your time and energy. When more women learn to reject men and teach them a lesson, let them know they must behave and work for it, men then will try harder and put their stupid little egos at check.
Why arent men coached on this instead of women? Like saying oh he lost interest so we'll take that off the table, not acceptable, men need to learn how to communicate and just politely say you're not interested, trust me women can deal with it. I think men think they have so much power over women, like they are God Almighty or something , like dude there's always another better person than you no woman's going to get that upset because you communicate there's no attraction there. The same with the others. If a guy is taking you for granted why aren't men coached on not taking women for granted and secondly why would a woman do anything in response to that. Almost like saying well that's okay that you're taking me for granted but I'm going to keep trying super hard to try to win you over that makes no sense to me.
I just had this happen in the utmost disrespectful way and betrayal. I want to understand it. I honestly highly doubt I would take him back. He would have to prove to me and I doubt this would happen. I just want closure at this point.
but how long can a woman dangle the carrot...eventually hes gona get the carrot because u cant dangle the carrot forever..cos he will lose interest and look elsewhere...then once he has it, he pulls away due to either pressure or taking u for granted so how does a women ever win? lol i give up
My guy did all the effort in the world for the first 4/5 months (know him now for 6 months) but one day he just stopped and now he doesn't even call.. but when I call him... he picks up and acts like there is nothing wrong and that he just busy starting his new business and is stressing about it.. and he still talks on the phone like we in a relationship but the effort is just gone! He is 45 years old divorced and lives in a different continents then kids... how could I get "US" back as to how it used to be in the beginning?
I've been watching your videos for a while, mostly while I was single. But how do I make this information work for me while I'm in a relationship though? I know it has to be somewhat the same concept but is there another way to do it or is it the same when you've already got the guy and have been dating for months?
Hey new to your channel I have a question should women trust dating a guy long distance. Well we did meet and he said he wants to take it slow. He was very cuddly and affectionate but than I am like if we taking slow why you more affectionate but he did say been divorce twices and I am getting divorce myself so I told him I understand. He said he would visit me we will see. He is a single dad so I understand but I am not gonna wait on him I am keeping options because man will tag you alonged if you let them.
I just started dating this guy then he pulls away I asked once what’s wrong you ok 👌 no response I feel so far back I will block them to many fish in the sea I’m a cold 🥶 person I don’t got time for it I’ll next him ….❤️🔥NEXT
Hi 👋🥲my boyfriend wants to spend time with he’s female friends and I’m not happy or comfortable with this he says he used to go out and now he can’t now he’s with me coz z I don’t trust him or woman around him I know ur sounds🤦♀️ but I don’t want him to cheat or someone throw thereselfs at him we’re he takes the bait now he’s going out a lot vulenterring and helping ppl and not spending time with me he’s sees me as moaning rude and a trouble maker when I get upset I mianand go on and on he said I don’t know what to do pls help advice me 🤦♀️😢
Hi, what if we are talking about work imvironment and its at the cruch point! He was showing alot of signs and then suddenly pulled away! How do I react to that ?
Okay, so me and my guy are not dating yet and we work in the same building, but we had the most awkward interaction where he seemed confrontational about something that never happened, but we ended on a good note; but I felt awkward after and we gave each other the most awkward "hi", where I sounded turned off basically. He has been cold towards me the past two days and I feel like if I am too cold towards him he will get discouraged. I ignored him all day today and avoided eye contact, and he knew it. Am I being too cold? I don't want him to give up on me, but his verbal communication is next to nothing.
God I wish I could talk to you about my relationship. It's so complicated. He isn't your typical guy, at least I don't think so. Well, half the time. Damn!! See? He has me so frickin confused!! I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed and stuck and wish I had some idea of if I should walk or keep trying to love him. He has brought out so much change in me. I've realized slot of things I do that aren't healthy because of him, so it feels like he's the one. But the physical connection isn't there. He said I'm spoiled, I'm not seeing things right. I've been with him 3yrs, and packed up and left in a rage, I don't even know how many times anymore!! I always end up coming back without ever getting an apology, and usually always feeling like it was all my fault that caused it. I have no friends here and only his friends to talk to. They would never tell him he's wrong. They don't even really like me. They use him and he's always loyal to them. We never do anything together, cuz he is constantly helping them or finding things to do. He doesn't come to bed and I offer him sex constantly, and get turned down. I feel so gross and stupid anymore. I need your advise so bad. This is costing me my sanity and happiness.
Yeah, I have actually. I'm fairly confident your right but he has admitted that he can be a heartless mean guy if he wants but he doesn't want to be like that to me. And as long I don't demand things or interfere with whatever he chooses to do, then he doesn't act like that. But he has. And at the worst times possible, he's dropped me and carried on like I never existed to him. Knowing I was so close to giving up, and needed him to help me. It hurts now so bad to think about things. And people he chose over me. Especially when it comes up and he still acts like it was justified. I can't imagine a future with him would be without any more of those type situations, but they're getting less and less. He's changing and I appreciate it and compliment him for it. But I have a constant fear now, that he will always shut down on me the closer he and I get. Thanks for the input, I would love to know if I am repeating history or if he really is keeper material. Cuz we both come from broken disfunctional homes and so it's harder to have and spot a normal relationship sometimes.
I don't want a guy like this back! Women don't be desperate!! If he does not want you, you don't want him.. Let go let God!!
I agree
yea, stopping now gave it to him
I needed to see this THANK YOU
yes
Exactly, doing the same exact things to them they do to us is a powerful weapon, I found out a long time ago.
@Chuck I feel sorry for you.
Only when it’s new not when it’s been years lol
What happens when he pulls away but still texts everyday but very minimal and I stopped spending time with him in person, I don’t initiate texts and keep my responses short because of him not initiating when we get together. It should be 50/50 not just one person doing this!
When a guy is being distant I get anxious and I am so want to go check and find out. When we talk again, I suddently feel less interested and I start pulling away. Lol what happened? I am getting to know a guy from tinder, we talked for a month but not dating yet. Am I subconsciously looking for a better one? But try to get this one stick around?
I guess women do the same shits, it is not just guy thing
I did that and he broke up with me 😐
Real men don't pull a way. They come and talk to you heart to heart, mind to mind.Explain and say their good bye's humane and respectful way. Those he talks about are players, immature men and men who have serious relationship and confidence/self-esteem issues. PERIOD. (I am psycholgist specilised on relationships more than 28 years.)
Agree
Amen!!
I agree with most of this but I do feel like real men do need space sometimes or feel pressured/insecure.
In my experience many are narcissists that got the hit of supply they needed and bailed
Weird, a psychologist who can't spell specialized or psychology, but go off
😅
That’s what I’m gonna do. If he pulls away I will pull away myself too.. I will mirror what he does and let him feel what I feel too and see afterwards
I don’t want anyone ever again lol 😂
😂😂💯
Whahaaaa
Neither do I 😂
Update it’s been a year and I want nothing to do with anyone! Leave me alone in my hermit shell 🐚🤣
4 weeks since my reply and I’m the exact same 😂
Oh yeah!
Reverse the energy!
Guys hate it!
Ms. Peaches reverse the curse 😂😂💀
Yep... I have no idea, but it always works for me. When I am nice, that’s not what they want. When I am indifferent, not mean, it always has a better outcome. “Always”
It sucks that we cannot be ourselves
@@curvedancer-shirmeezsamaai6986 life is hard
I love his no bullshit approach! He is amazing
It’s ironic...the things we are supposed to herald as the qualities that make a relationship great (affection, reliability, honesty) are the very things that “turn” potential love interests off. I wonder why we should be expected to sit around waiting and hoping a guy will miss us all the while pretending to be more unavailable than we actually are. I have done this before, but it never feels good. I would much rather a guy recognize my good qualities and not become freaked out because I was everything I said I was going to be. A good relationship shouldn’t be grounded on game playing.
I wholeheartedly agree with this!
Tigress Tiger Honestly the best thing to do in my opinion is to stand up for what you need for your life, no games, just being in alignment with your values. And that could mean texting someone less or being less invested, but it’s not done to manipulate someone to act differently. I get why people look up these videos though, it can be frustrating when you like someone and the feeling isn’t mutual.
Girl this is the perfect comment. I feel the same way!! Damn it's become unattractive to be a good girlfriend. I'm over it.
@@str5295 Best advice I ever received, if they don’t accept me as my authentic self, I let them slip through like sand in my fingers! Filtering out the ones not meant for us, and love our lives and appreciate ourselves just as we are
@@17amandamarie thank you. This is something to think about.
Why is dating so hard?
Ikr
Ikrrrr
Cuz ppl dnt know what they want...date with purpose
Girl idk
I’m sick of it
i dont need a guy anymore. theyre just a stressors!
Big time!!! The stress is awful!
Yeah
💯💯🤦🏽♀️😐
At this point I think I am just going to block him 😭🤷🏾♀️
I told mine today lmaooo. And I mean it!!!!!!!!!!
xwinniez Girl I did it long ago and it was the best decision ever made. I am now happy in a relationship with my bf 🥰
If they have over 10 fb accounts and won't friend you or give you his number tell him to get lost- had a jackass do that, staying single PERMANENTLY
I blocked him he ignored me for 2 weeks it hurts he better not come back either
@@annaschadewald1576 I walked away from a Breadcrumber now he's trying to contact me for 2 days and I'm ignoring him. Why is he trying to contact me desperately if he never wanted to talk to me to begin with??....I hope he goes away soon...
If a guy pulls away there’s a strong possibility he’s simply over it or has relegated you To booty call status. These types are usually hot and heavy fast, then they fade or ghost. They start it and create the whirlwind. It’s a pattern and there’s a lot of them out there. U can play games to get him back but he’ll most likely act interested again for sex and then disappear.
yes, sounds very familiar, this guy is an asshole, he told me up front that we are just having sex, and he doesn’t let me say more. I have asked him why and he doesn’t respond, he said he doesn’t want a relationship, divorced twice, selfish, he gets what he wants then ghosts for a while from one week to two, 3, 4, even 5 weeks, and he sees other women and has a rotation, then he lies to get me again. He has never invited me on a date. He takes me for granted. This has been going on for one year! I ignore him back, then I wait and when I think he was not going to come back he does. And I have fallen again over and over because I like him very much and I see possibilities, but the man is just having fun with multiple partners! omg and I know I have to get over him and move on.
@@azucenakennedy149 you can do it. You are beautiful. You are strong!
Mine kept doing that to me playing silly mine games warming up to me and then disappearing after
Yes he created it and then when I came in closer he pulled away.
Yes girls if he doesn’t like you and is just leading you on then take a trash bag and throw the whole dude away!!
When you've been single so long that when the new dude does this it just feels like the good ol' days and you immediately go into that loner vibe and it jusr feels like home.
Dr tuda can help you ,he helped me get my family back and restore my broken relationship
Text via WhatsApp
Omg i related to ur comment so much. Lol
If he pull away or act “distant” I’m blocking. Who that hell about to play these cat and mouse games with these little boys😑 Nah, it’s men out here who is of high value and will value the bond he has with you. Not doing all of this
🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👍🏾
Exactly. Pulling away is juvenile high school bullshit. A real man will communicate his feelings to you and won't play petty games or be hot and cold.
Being told I'm "Obsessive", when following up on plans with my bf brought me here. He shall see that wasn't smart.
My boyfriend of almost 2 years recently told me that I "dictate his life" just because I want to be wtih him every weekend since we're apart during the work week.....🙄
Love this. I found the answer I was looking for. "Pulling away."
sometimes I get the feeling he likes me and other times it feels like he's being distant. sometimes he'll say "thank you" fully instead of "ty" and we always say good morning and goodnight but this time he just said "night". I really like him and I don't wanna lose him. all I want is him. I know that we could be something special.
This has been done to me a few times and now, I run before they can.
i was acting quite mysterious, not letting him know everything, still keeping flirtatious and letting him know i’m interested, everything was perfectly fine going well, he was chasing me. all of a sudden i woke up one day and he started being cold with me 😂? after telling me how much he liked me, he told me hes willing to get to know me properly and everything and invited me to his birthday in a couple of weeks and now hes acting so distant.. ive not been too much or too little 😂 he was literally chasing me and has gone all quiet
Any update? I hope u dumped him bc sudden silence usually means new girl
What ended up happening
I'm going to guess your game failed miserably, he "one-upped" you and flipped the script on you, and then you changed and either got angry or asked him what was going on, and he took off the minute he saw you become weak. It's all control.
One of the best videos ever Elliot!! Short, real, sweet and straight to the point! This video is nothing but the truth, I can’t even stress it enough. It’s easy watching it ladies, but we gotta put it into action when guy is in front of you, talking to you etc. rewatch the video before you talk/ encounter the guy to remind you of what you to do and not to do! Elliott you are there truth I appreciate you and all that you do! 🙏🏽 you give me life!
1. Taken for granted
2. Pressure
3. Playing games
Or ladies, just talk to other guys even on social media, be friendly, and let him know you got options, that you own yourself and he doesn't. Play hard to keep.
who is giving Elliot thumbs down yo .. he is one of my favorites.
Men
Doesn't matter to me either way. TH-cam doesn't penalize you at all for thumbs down. They actually reward you bc they view it as interaction so if I had 100% down it'd be no different than 100% thumbs up :). That's why I troll the comments sometimes to just have women comment over and over arguing haha. It helps the algorithm lol
Tried this and in the end he thought I was just seeing another guy 🙄.
Thank you Elliot 💕
The problem with these tactics is it can easily backfire. Depending on the man, he might play along for a little, but will eventually withdraw and move on.
Dont blame him. You and only you know who you are dating. Following advice not thinking about this is simply naive. We are all different.
Its sad why Im watching these kind of videos but I know this is the best way 🙁🥺
Me too girl. I’m in the same boat, we gotta protect our hearts but in a healthy way with setting boundaries!
Same..
Funny thing I watched all these when I was single just for fun now I’m in a relationship with a guy I need these more then ever 💔💔🥺🥺🥺🥺
If u keep goin back n forth he’s never believing he ever lost u 🧐 true! So obvs Iv jus subscribed thanks
life is so much better with new posts from you, it's been almost every day this week! thx
I walked away from a Breadcrumber now he's trying to contact me for 2 days and I'm ignoring him. Why is he trying to contact me desperately if he never wanted to talk to me to begin with??....I hope he goes away soon...
People in general are not a scarse asset. People that make you feel seen with all your specific needs, emotions and thoughts are. So if a person isnt that interested in you will not experience interest in your specific needs emotions and thoughts its ok too - just an other humanbeing you met. Dont expect anything.
I can feel him pulling away and asked if everything was okay. Got no response. This after he tells me he likes me and wants a relationship. Super confused. Just have to pull away myself. Have to be okay with either outcome and just let it go.
V I a W h a t s A p p
Dr wilson willock he is the best is 💯 percent sure
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Girl nah fuck that. He messed up… you should have called it quits for his crappy behavior right then and there. Ur a queen.. don’t be ok with either outcome. Don’t be ok with how he decided it was okay to treat you
Elliot, my guy has a dismissive avoidant attachment style.. can u do a video about that? This kind of people need a lot of space and sometimes it's painful to be in a relationship with them.
Update: he dumped me. Said he has committment issues.. I'm glad we broke up , my self esteem was hitting an all time low
Neetu Anna these videos aren’t helpful for people who have an attachment disorder. It’s almost impossible to make it work with a DA unless you’re extremely secure. Your needs will never be met. You should check out more videos about dismissive avoidants and relationships. Elliot is great overall
Lol dump him
I was in a situation like that / I had to pull away from him cuz he wasn’t giving me anything & now he’s in therapy so step away from him u can’t fix him don’t even try
Leave baby ♡ someone better is for u
You might wanna check out Coach Margaret and I thi k Coach Kenneth. They talk about this often.
Can you do a video about pulling away? How to actually do that? Is it just a matter of ignoring him? what if he does reach out? just don't answer right away? don't accept dates?
@Chuck I don't know if you were trying to be helpful or just hurtful.
Coach Elliott is sweet here..normally he is just like a tough uncle who gives me hard ass lectures.
He’s so smart I love him.
so true ! thanks for telling us what we need to hear and not what we want to hear💯💯
It’s rainy, I’m lazy in bed and I’m totally binge watching your videos Elliot!! 😂😂. Do a live already. We want to interact and play with you babe 😜
does this go for the less masculine clingy type man too ?
This is WISDOM. Love it!
Really insightful vid. U made 2 impt points. He took me for granted and he is facing pressure. So he backed off.
I have dreams and goals and till now, he dont have his 5 year planning. So he back off. I started no contact already but im literally bleeding already. But i am still gonna persist on with no contact because i want to create that opportunity to let him miss me
Does this also apply to a FWB situation if a guy pulls away..or we shouldn’t take it personal..?
I was wondering the same thing
I was seeing a guy for 4 weeks everything was great .. he went very quiet .. he told me a few days later he wasn’t coping with life and had to see his Doctor .. I told him I’d give him space and that I thought he was lovely . How long do I wait ? I mean can’t we share our problems together ?
Good morning, if you've giving in too many times already is it too late to pull away now? To where it'll have an effect on him
Truth
Thank you. I like the delivery of your message.
Healthy, happy and loving.. This is noted.
this sounds a lot like my toronto high school and I can relate to this on sooo many ways! I admire how you are able to outsmart them and pick up on these flags
Dont fw toronto mans smh
Well he was pulling away because of stress..... ? And was ignoring me, I told him what I think of him and NO I don't want him back! 😃 👍🏼
Hahaha 😆 love the freak out comment...why didn’t I discover you 1.5 years ago? 😳
Not me crying while watching elliot’s vids
After me and my bf got back together, there was few incident that made me realize that he is playing me or something like that. The last time was, he called me and tell me he misses me etc... and said good night to me. Then couple second later, i got a txt from him says “ on the way... will be there soon” so i called back and told him wrong person. He said he didnt send that txt. The phone did it lol. So i said yeah the phone txted that to me. And told him, maybe he should change my name on his phone to clarise so he doesnt get confused lol. Then he tried to call me back and sent me a video of him and his friend. Then i called him back and pretend that I believed him. Maybe like 15 min of facetiming him, his phone died. Lol. Didnt call back nothing. But most of the time like 90% his phone is dead at night or maybe he set to airplane mode lol. Since then, i told myself, im not letting him fooling me again like before especially now that he is distant. Not going to beg him anymore to spare his time with me.
Your relationship sounds like it’s full of drama. That guy is bad news and very vindictive. You deserve better.
Diana, Is he 9 yes old? You can do better!
Thanks Elliot for calling me out 🤣
We are not merchandise
New Elliot Scott's video on Friday morning, before I go to work? OK .......... :-)
This video is more about not putting out rather than actually what to do step by step when he pulls away
What if u feel like you should try being distant like him and that ends up being a mistake and he might get the wrong signs about what you’re trying to do? I don’t wanna lose this guy but I don’t no what I should do
I’m wondering same
after doing a thing called Asoleado Baccy trackline, i am ready to take on the world lol this video just added more tools and confidence
Pull away alright I did and he wants to be my friend
He wasn’t interested then
Tried this. We just ignore eachother for months. Another option is to look at yourself and see if YOU changed. What does he like about you? Has he verbalized it? Have u stopped some of those things? If you have changed for the better and you feel like you are putting yourself first in your life's goals then maybe it is time to take your leave bc he isn't on the same page... If your life has changed for the worse, then maybe you can bring some of those things back into your life that you used to do. Be that person that he originally fell in love with. Right now there are a lot of failing relationships due to what is going on in the world and the depression that it is causing. Decide if you can make a change for the better and bring that original person back into the picture. And another thing to consider is if he has changed. Because then there is nothing you can do. You should never try to change your positive values to meet someone else's.
I dont need a strategy. If he is not respecting me, Im gone.
I love Elliot
Well I became friends with my new neighbor. His landlord is a good friend and asked me to help out as he was leaving the country for a while and his new tenant was new to the area.
We became fast friends and eventually started sleeping together. Buddies still. All our conversations and there have been many... He is not wanting anything with anyone. He has represented himself as one person. Then he says he loves me (in the act) which threw me for a loop and was completely unexpected. I asked him about it a few days later and he repeated that he loved me. This was outta left field for me. But we have been hanging out almost a year now.
I didn't say Iove you back but was willing to talk about it and why it threw me for a loop. Now he's avoiding me. Wants a completely plutonic friendship now. Says there is touch confusion. 🙄
Let him go for good
I feel like he become distant as soon as I stopped working and went back to school may be he thinks I will depend on him but actually no I don’t have a plan to depend on no man, I think this is the right time for me to forces on becoming more healthy
I’ll be honest with you, because most of the ones that are good in relationships are in relationships. The people still dating way into their 40s and 50s and 30s and whatever, it’s because they can’t maintain a stable relationship for whatever reason. It may not be their fault, but it makes dating extremely hard the older you get because the people who are going to fall into functional relationships have pretty much already done that at that point unless something bad has happened to them. And I’m saying this as a polyamorous person who is still dates in my 30s and is married, the people who aren’t in any kind of relationship with anybody else always seem to have something going on with them that makes communicating with them or having any kind of relationship with them extremely difficult
Dating only gets harder the older we get. At 47 it is brutal. All emotionally scarred, damaged, and suspicious because we're not single for nothing. We've had some bad crap happen to us or we wouldn't be single.
Are you married and in an open relationship? If so, you should expect friction when dating single people, given that you are emotionally unavailable yourself. Furthermore, broken people come in all flavors, I have met a lot of people in relationships that are unstable/toxic. And healthy single people.
We had a really great time and now he’s bad at texting says he’s feeling me a lot and will work on it.. we haven’t seen eachother in 5 days he will go without texting me for hours I’m sick of it
Is he an Aquarius?
......uhm, he has to care first....lol
Mine gets distant and cold but when I do the same back and pull away he gets offended?? And then „ignores“ me back as well.I seriously don’t get it,it fucks me up
When it takes me longer to reply to a text, and then I eventually answer he answers immediately BUT THEN ignores me half a day to a full day until he answers me again. And also watches my social media stories while he’s ignoring me to make sure that I know that he ignores me.
He just wants that satisfaction knowing that you're always gonna be there no matter how he treats you. A guy has done it to me. It never worked out, I knew if I didn't cut ties he was just gonna continue to manipulate me but once I was gone, and I didnt say anything, just silently moved on he tried 3 different times to come back over the past 5 years telling me how I got away. Haha it wasn't like i had much of a choice. Most men today seem to love the chase more than anything, they want the love without the commitment.
Faeries_Xylia 923 I actually to truly believe that he loves/loved me. It’s just really annoying bc he doesn’t wanna let me go but also doesn’t appreciate it when I stay... and it hurts bc I rlly do love him with all my heart
@@oceankiraz2940 yeah.. mine didn't love me. But I got over it. I mean you know him better than we ever will so follow what you truly think is right for you. Good luck 💜
Faeries_Xylia 923 thank u 🤎 some guys just seems like the right one... unfortunately most of them aren’t. I wish u a lot of luck as well 🤎🤎
Oh these kind of childish games are ridiculous, just move on, you don’t need that. If someone is not satisfying your desire for connection and plays games, it’s really not worth your time and energy. When more women learn to reject men and teach them a lesson, let them know they must behave and work for it, men then will try harder and put their stupid little egos at check.
Why arent men coached on this instead of women? Like saying oh he lost interest so we'll take that off the table, not acceptable, men need to learn how to communicate and just politely say you're not interested, trust me women can deal with it. I think men think they have so much power over women, like they are God Almighty or something , like dude there's always another better person than you no woman's going to get that upset because you communicate there's no attraction there. The same with the others. If a guy is taking you for granted why aren't men coached on not taking women for granted and secondly why would a woman do anything in response to that. Almost like saying well that's okay that you're taking me for granted but I'm going to keep trying super hard to try to win you over that makes no sense to me.
I don't understand, so is it better to ignore him straight away or call you his bullshit and then if he doesn't follow through disappear????
I just had this happen in the utmost disrespectful way and betrayal. I want to understand it. I honestly highly doubt I would take him back. He would have to prove to me and I doubt this would happen. I just want closure at this point.
How do you pull away when you live together
Thank you so much for this.
This was good advice thank you
but how long can a woman dangle the carrot...eventually hes gona get the carrot because u cant dangle the carrot forever..cos he will lose interest and look elsewhere...then once he has it, he pulls away due to either pressure or taking u for granted so how does a women ever win? lol i give up
My guy did all the effort in the world for the first 4/5 months (know him now for 6 months) but one day he just stopped and now he doesn't even call.. but when I call him... he picks up and acts like there is nothing wrong and that he just busy starting his new business and is stressing about it.. and he still talks on the phone like we in a relationship but the effort is just gone! He is 45 years old divorced and lives in a different continents then kids... how could I get "US" back as to how it used to be in the beginning?
Did you guys get back together?
I am right in that spot right now....
I've been watching your videos for a while, mostly while I was single. But how do I make this information work for me while I'm in a relationship though? I know it has to be somewhat the same concept but is there another way to do it or is it the same when you've already got the guy and have been dating for months?
Love the hair
Thank you
Does this apply to LDR?
so basically... he got bored cos u were too available? and u should be less keen
Perfect timing
Will this work for a FWB?
Every video Ive seen of men talking about this topic is so toxic. “This is the way men like it so this is the way it is”
he literally messaged me as i clicked on this video so weird lol
Lol same here
Hey new to your channel I have a question should women trust dating a guy long distance. Well we did meet and he said he wants to take it slow. He was very cuddly and affectionate but than I am like if we taking slow why you more affectionate but he did say been divorce twices and I am getting divorce myself so I told him I understand. He said he would visit me we will see. He is a single dad so I understand but I am not gonna wait on him I am keeping options because man will tag you alonged if you let them.
Not even in the slightest
I just started dating this guy then he pulls away I asked once what’s wrong you ok 👌 no response I feel so far back I will block them to many fish in the sea I’m a cold 🥶 person I don’t got time for it I’ll next him ….❤️🔥NEXT
I contact him for all kinds of problem including saving your marriage or relationship from divorce,
V I a W h a t s A p p
Dr wilson willock he is the best is 💯 percent sure
±2348102997455⏯⏯♣️♣️
No I like Elliot
Hi 👋🥲my boyfriend wants to spend time with he’s female friends and I’m not happy or comfortable with this he says he used to go out and now he can’t now he’s with me coz z I don’t trust him or woman around him I know ur sounds🤦♀️ but I don’t want him to cheat or someone throw thereselfs at him we’re he takes the bait now he’s going out a lot vulenterring and helping ppl and not spending time with me he’s sees me as moaning rude and a trouble maker when I get upset I mianand go on and on he said I don’t know what to do pls help advice me 🤦♀️😢
Love u, thanks!
Excellent advice
Hi, what if we are talking about work imvironment and its at the cruch point! He was showing alot of signs and then suddenly pulled away! How do I react to that ?
true advice.....subbed
I've never been this early 😆 hi
me neither lol. too early in the morning
Love you Elliot Scott my favourite dating coach 😘 🔔 ✔️ now ❤️ me 4️⃣ ever! 😘
Jeez...thats me...I have to pull away😵
Good morning coach
Okay, so me and my guy are not dating yet and we work in the same building, but we had the most awkward interaction where he seemed confrontational about something that never happened, but we ended on a good note; but I felt awkward after and we gave each other the most awkward "hi", where I sounded turned off basically. He has been cold towards me the past two days and I feel like if I am too cold towards him he will get discouraged. I ignored him all day today and avoided eye contact, and he knew it. Am I being too cold? I don't want him to give up on me, but his verbal communication is next to nothing.
Nxt time u see him say hi w a smile n jus leave it at that..balls in his court now
God I wish I could talk to you about my relationship. It's so complicated. He isn't your typical guy, at least I don't think so. Well, half the time. Damn!! See? He has me so frickin confused!! I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed and stuck and wish I had some idea of if I should walk or keep trying to love him. He has brought out so much change in me. I've realized slot of things I do that aren't healthy because of him, so it feels like he's the one. But the physical connection isn't there. He said I'm spoiled, I'm not seeing things right. I've been with him 3yrs, and packed up and left in a rage, I don't even know how many times anymore!! I always end up coming back without ever getting an apology, and usually always feeling like it was all my fault that caused it. I have no friends here and only his friends to talk to. They would never tell him he's wrong. They don't even really like me. They use him and he's always loyal to them. We never do anything together, cuz he is constantly helping them or finding things to do. He doesn't come to bed and I offer him sex constantly, and get turned down. I feel so gross and stupid anymore. I need your advise so bad. This is costing me my sanity and happiness.
Look up "Narcissist", perhaps "Covert Narcissist". He very much sounds like one.
Yeah, I have actually. I'm fairly confident your right but he has admitted that he can be a heartless mean guy if he wants but he doesn't want to be like that to me. And as long I don't demand things or interfere with whatever he chooses to do, then he doesn't act like that. But he has. And at the worst times possible, he's dropped me and carried on like I never existed to him. Knowing I was so close to giving up, and needed him to help me. It hurts now so bad to think about things. And people he chose over me. Especially when it comes up and he still acts like it was justified. I can't imagine a future with him would be without any more of those type situations, but they're getting less and less. He's changing and I appreciate it and compliment him for it. But I have a constant fear now, that he will always shut down on me the closer he and I get. Thanks for the input, I would love to know if I am repeating history or if he really is keeper material. Cuz we both come from broken disfunctional homes and so it's harder to have and spot a normal relationship sometimes.
Definitely narcissistic behaviour