No child asks to be born. There is suffering in life, and unless I can guarantee no illnesses, no emotional trauma, no genetic disorders, and no stress in relationships, maybe it is better to not have kids.
Omg I literally told someone something similar to this the other day! Children don’t have a say in being here. Idk why people act like this life is a gift when it’s not. Also if ur from America, you would not want kids. The government is corrupt and sketchy. Why force a child to be here, just to be forced to go to school, work and have to pay bills? Nah.
Could it be that the prevalence of teenage suicide are people who are frustrated that they were brought in this crazy world without being asked first, take matters in their own hand so to speak?
I don't want kids. I honestly feel like if I have a child, I won't have enough time for myself or my hobbies and I think that being a parent is a life decision that it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's going to affect your life for many many years. So I really don't understand why people tell me that I'm ungrateful or selfish just for not wanting to have kids.
@@dunjapanic8532 Not really, plus you don't know what hobbies this person has or any other obligations they have. Nothing about that is selfish, I hope you mature in your thinking.
I agree,and it sucks because in my culture if you don't have kids you're a Witch..The World is Changing it really feels like time is getting shorter ,like there isnt 24 hours I'm a day. INFLATION is real,and bottom line people change like they change their clothes,and The Last thing I want is to be a single Mom struggling if LIFE JUST HAPPENS.
@@dunjapanic8532 Were all entitled to our opinion. There are a lot of children in Foster Care that need homes.We forget about the Missing Children,and Children kidnapped and Sex Trafficked. If we go to the Bible it does say that The Lord wants us to be Fruitful and Multiple, that could be in numerous areas.If you own a successful Business you can have more than enough money to contribute to Gods people and his righteous causes. Were all here on this earth for a PURPOSE& DESTINY. Maybe the "NEW SELFISH" is the "NEW TRUTH".
I dont want a child, they disgust me, i see them just as needy and ungrateful people. I will never have one or adopt one ,its just another person, is nothing special to me . But i do respect people who want one
People see parenting in such a glamorized light. They see children as fun accessories in their perfect little world. It's unrealistic and unfair to the child and themselves.
I'm 48-year-old guy from Greece. I 've too , chosen a child-free life, because , I have too many dreams , I believe , to accomplish while I'm in life, that are , for better or for worse, not related to parenthood, even remotely. My female partner is 42, she is child-free too, and we are very lucky to share the same values and opinions on this matter. Greetings from Greece. We send you our love.
I'm 36 years old with no children because i remember being told when i was 16 years old " Be sure if you really want kids because once you have them you got them for life! I heard how difficult parenting really is!
One choice is certainly more moral than the other; being childfree never harmed any children! Many children, who were born, lived horrible and meaningless lives.
I’m a Childfree guy. I’m Nigerian(a poor 3rd world African country)that alone is 1 reason. I’m a Christian. A Child can never go to Hell or suffer here on Earth if it was never born. So win win situation for everyone 🤷♂️🙌
@@Brenschannel I certainly question why I never had the desire... society tells me I should... but I believe it is unethical to have a child without that desire. So no desire = no kids (for me anyways!)
Stand your ground. Because at the end of the day all the people around you are not going to be the ones stuck with the responsibility of dealing with the child. They will do what they do best, sit on their royal behinds clucking like farmyard hens
Yes. People need to learn that not everyone wants THAT type of responsibility. I also fear that I’ll end up living my life for someone else instead of myself😫 someone I know has said that when their kids came along, they did EVERYTHING for their children instead of for themselves. We only get one life, you best live it how you want and screw what others think of your choice to not have kids.
I thought I wanted kids but then now that I’m 38, I realized that things happened for a reason and being child free is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. You are making the RIGHT DECISION.
i'm smiling reading that. When I was 38 22 years ago I had no interest in having kids but was matched by a fried with a 34byr old lady who did !! i thought she'd change her mind. she never did. se turned 38 and dumped me to find someone to you know, and 18 later it looks like she never did.
What annoys me is that people tell me “you should have kids” but so many times they complain how hard it is to have kids and I see how stressed out they are all the time. In my opinion these type of people telling you to have kids because they can’t stand seeing you living your life and doing what you love to do. I’m 26 and I’ve never had a desire to have kids and I’m happy with my decision!
Don’t mind those people. Keep doing what you love while they live miserable and unhappy lives. I feel like people like that didn’t really want kids, but maybe they’ve been pressured to have them by society and even their families.
@@jord3000 Yes, well said! Because if they really wanted kids they should be happy and focus on themselves and their kids, not other people and tell others what to do.
@@patricia_1303 I also think they care too much about what others think that they can’t live for themselves and do things bc they genuinely want to, misery LOVES company. Never let other’s pressure or manipulate you into doing something you know you don’t want to do, that’s how you’ll become miserable, exactly like those people.
@@jord3000 Yeah that’s right and they also live within the “norm” so they think everyone should do the same thing like get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, but life doesn’t always work this way and people want different things. Yeah and I would rather argue then do something against my will!
What a great message! I have lived my 20s getting into relationships for the sole purpose of becoming a mother. Every relationship failed. At some point I said to myself that if I don't find a partner by the time I am 29, I will find a donor and become a single mother before I am 30. This whole thing, was influenced by my mother's wish to become a grandmother and not by my true wish to become a mother myself. Since I was 18 my mum constantly told me to have a kid soon, the younger the better, that this is what life's purpose is, to find a partner and have a kid. I got to 29, with a loving partner... but I was in a better place, a mind clear space, where I was finally able to make my own decisions and I decided it wasn't the time, I had lots of soul searching to do on this topic. Fast forward to now, I am 34 and have been through a beautiful self-healing and self-discovery journey. Guess what, turns out I do not want to be a mother, I don't want kids, it had always been my parents wish. I love my life as it is and I am so grateful that my life's path brought me here, to this moment of realization. Thank you for sharing Bren!
Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you realized that it wasn’t something you wanted. We shouldn’t be pressured to have kids just to please our family if we really don’t want them
I so happy you brought up the pressure from parents aspect. My husbands brother had a kid and the kid was just born and everyone started asking him when is having one telling him he’s next. People ask like it’s mandatory. I personally think it’s private and should be brought up if we choose to.
I have more of a problem with saying years young than not or having kids. The progression of age is only linear with people having more faculties through the further stages. One does not get younger as they age. This isn't Benjamin Button.
As a 32 year old woman, married, I’m on the fence but leaning towards no. I remember having a fear of being pregnant throughout my whole 20’s and thought that I would just get over it. A lot of people would tell me, “it’s not the end of the world if you get pregnant, you have a job, a good partner” .....But to me it would be the end of MY world.” My world includes just focusing on my hobbies, taking time for me, focusing on my career, and just plain getting to do what I want to do which is part of being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to when you reach adulthood so why all of a sudden do we have to answer to society or family by giving them what they want? I always Thought I would just finally get that instinct to have them but as much as I love kids, I’m never had the real urge to just have them. One of my pet peeves is when people also say, “when you meet the right guy”which quite frankly is insulting to say especially to a woman who may have a partner. I have an amazing kind husband who treats me with respect. He is the RIGHT guy. We just may not want kids!
2 great points here 1. its the end of MY world. 2. being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to . I think yo mean your parents... thats how I interpreted it.
I’ve had that when someone said to me you’re boyfriend is not good for you because he doesn’t want to have kids, if you had a guy who wanted to have kids you would want them too. People are so stupid! if I had a partner who wanted to have kids, it would never be a relationship because we want different things. I’ve been with my partner over 7 years now and we are happy without kids.
@@patricia_1303 I cannot believe how worked up people get when someone says they don’t want kids. You can’t force someone to have or do something they don’t want. This life is full of suffering. I’d rather prevent bringing a child into the world now before they are born and it’s too late. Life is so unfair. Having children is a personal decision and should not be made by people who aren’t gonna be the child’s parents. Your friends and family members should never have a say or even influence you to have kids because guess what at the end of the day that potentially child is yours and your responsibility!
@@jord3000 Yeah exactly that’s my point! People tell you to have kids but they won’t be looking after them, you will and it means changing your whole life, your routine, your lifestyle, your plans but people don’t take that into consideration and it can be really frustrating. They will never ask if you can afford to have kids, people are struggling financially these days anyway and also people should never tell a woman to have kids, what if she can’t have them? No consideration for other people whatsoever. But I guess these type of people will never learn
Don’t want to go through childbirth and pregnancy Don’t want the responsibility I struggle with generalized anxiety and depression I don’t have the patience I just don’t have the desire
As a black man, I been called "GAY" because I don't have or want children---I feel free and I have time for myself---I know I wouldn't be a good father if I decide to have a child.
I'm childfree because this lifestyle is way more appealing to me than parenthood. I'm lucky to have a mom who respects my decision and doesn't pressure me to make her a grandma 😊❤
Being an aunt of 9 and having my hands full when parents aren’t around has made me not want kids. I don’t like they idea waking up pissed and bothered. I grew up with anger problems and now an adult and still working on it. It would be selfish of me to take that out on my kid. There are too many parents with these issues and needs to stop.
@@Will.Flavell I'm glad I became an uncle. I can spend time with my nephews and nieces, and bring them back to their parents when get tired of playing with them. I enjoy my freedom.
@@Kjones520 Same! When I took care of my cousin baby. That baby made me realize that motherhood isn't 100% for me. The thought of being responsible for another life is scary, especially if you messed up your decisions in life a lot.
I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.
I think having a child is probably the scariest thing you could do. Having to give brith to a human and taking care of it so that it becomes a good citizen is probably the hardest task one could ever have. But I don't think I am emotionally stable OR physically available to have a child of my own. I am a biologist and the idea of generating a child of my own seems fascinating, but given how fast we're depleting our resources I don't see a point to contributing to it by putting another human being on Earth. I think it's super selfish to put a child on this Earth. If you want to be a parent so badly you have to accept that you will love a child and care for it no matter if it came from you, no matter what developmental or psychological problems they might have, no matter how much of a struggle to take care of they will be. It's a big issue that people don't think these things through before having a child, and just do it because it's considered "natural" or so they "won't be alone when they're old".
I've heard people say that they had their kids in their 20s so that they could enjoy their 40s. I say, you can enjoy your 20s AND 40s by not having any kids at all! We were influenced to believe that having kids is a mandatory thing to do when you actually don't have to have them at all!
I can imagine myself being literally anything but a mother. People always tell me that I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids bc that would make me less of a woman, and I wouldn’t fulfill my purpose in this world as a woman if I didn’t have kids. Even tho I’m accomplished (I’m a neurologist) this apparently means nothing if I didn’t have kids. 😑
really how toxic can people get is like they cant see women as humans as persons just machines for the benefit of others .and then they wonder how books like the handmaid's tale exist ps your profesion is goals thanks is just it inspires me to hear of accomplished women and in neurology but sorry for the english thought
im so glad you included the undecided part. a lot of people feel undecided and make the decision of having kids to see how they feel but you cant go back from that. thank you for another great video bren!!
As a guy approaching 30, I've always been asked if I have a child or even had a girlfriend, and I said no to both of them, because I never had those desires. People would tell me that I'll end up lonely if I don't. But honestly, I'd rather live a lonely life than not being able to fulfill another person's life experience. As of right now, I'm satisfied with how my life is going.
Same here bro, I’m 25, single and starting to get those questions frequently. I just started my career, like I don’t have time right now I’m good with just my dog (dalmation).
I love being childfree. Childfree people must be careful to not gloat so much. And we must not let the world make us feel that we owe other people something, such as letting them put their kids off on us so they can have a break of parenting.
Every time my mother in law asks I tell her 4 grandkids is enough. I already play a big part in their lives. I'll stick to being an aunt. I'm too selfish. I want to focus on my career, going on vacations, and my partner.
I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's simply okay for you to want to focus on your career and enjoy your life with your partner. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy :)
I myself do not have nor want kids anyway. I'm heavily immersed into my medical profession. Besides when I come home from work and school, I like my place clean and quiet.
I have no problem to stay children free)) I'm 29 and I don't like the way this world is going....so, I'm going just enjoy my life)) Hello from Russia ✨
Privyet! (I’m learning Russian and Ukrainian since that’s what my boyfriend speaks) And yes, you should definitely enjoy your life. Thank you for sharing your thought 😊
Jezebel Love -No one is forcing you to have children, ( God forbid!) more women have decided the same, BUT! And there is always a BUT, if the trend continues, and with the cost of providing for even one child forever going up and more women stop having children, the consequences for a country will be dire, . Hungary and other countries are beginning to wake up to the problem and will pay families to have children. You will not be 29 forever, eventually you will retire, and if the trend continues you will live to be 80 and over; someone else's son or daughter will have to work to keep every thing running, for you and other woman like you to enjoy a certain level of standard of living. Except there won't be enough of them to provide. Every thing has consequences.
@@marcellogenesi6390 There shouldn't be any consequences when it comes to a personal decision. I don't see u going after childfree men like myself and others. Yet u go after our counterparts.
@@edgar22452 I was hoping that you would understand that I was not trying to play the blame game , but stating the facts. I would listen without prejudice if you could be more specific, on points that you disagree. Modern women, have the final decision, when it comes to reproduction, is called women emancipation. They have a choice, but that does not mean that there are no consequences.
Children are not a blessing, in my opinion. They are simply humans just like anyone else. Raising them is burdensome, expensive, draining on social/emotional/financial resources, often boring or unfulfilling for many people, and many of them have severe physical, psychological or developmental problems. You can ask my mom and I’m sure she would honestly say that she regretted having us at one point. I prefer to have a career over children because I contribute more meaningful things to through my career than through having children. I hate the idea of large families. I’m really introverted and my idea of a happy life is peace, quiet and solitude around my house where I have more time to indulge in things more important to my values such as my hobbies, interests, books, and travel. I hate the idea of having 3-5 noisy kids around the house who take away from my time, freedom, solitude, peace and quiet. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Having a large family is just a boring, stressful, loud, noisy, joyless existence, in my opinion. I don’t want to have any children at all, but if I did I would adopt two kids from foster care or I would only adopt one child.
I am the oldest of 6 siblings from Chin state of Myanmar. My parents were farmers and extremely poor. We did not have enough food during rainy season every year and borrow from neighbours. We did not have money to pay school fee and teachers often sent us back home and told us not to come back until we can pay. We attended public school but had to pay a little fee like 500 kyats occasionally and we did not have it. We were very embarrassed in front of our classmates. I cooked and did all house chores, and took care of my siblings at the same time when my parents slept at forest farms from Monday to Saturday. I wore second-hand clothes and never had new ones. My father was alcoholic and drank every weekend, and beat mom every month. Mom fled home to her mother's house leaving us alone with drunk dad. Dad sometimes did not come home for days. Sometimes I cook rice soup and drank it with my siblings because we did not have enough rice. I washed all my siblings' clothes, mine and father's with hands. I cried almost every week thinking 'wouldn't it be better if I were not born'. Many times, I went to nearby forest and planned to commit suicide by hanging myself to tree but always stopped because I pitied my siblings thinking 'who would take care of them if I were gone'. I cried a lot in forest and went back home after hours of crying. Now I am 30 but I still have to work for my parents and siblings. I have been living for others and suffering since as long as I can remember. So I don't want to have children. I just want to live freely and in peace for once before I die. Btw, I am man.
I totally stand with you in your decision. As a man, I think everyone should be free to make whatever damn decision is best for them, and no amount of guilt-tripping or shaming will ever change that. At the end of the day, only YOU know what path is best for you.
THIS! I resonate so much with this video. People always try to convince me that my mind will change, but I honestly believe if you're not overwhelmingly excited and mentally prepared to have kids, it unfair to bring a whole precious life into the world.
34 y/o and I’ve known I didn’t want kids when I was like 9 or 10 and i haven’t found that desire people talk about, I actually get stressed out thinking about kids.
I'm good with kids but I don't want any kids of my own. I'm 22 and I'm from India. I'm not remotely close to where I want to be in life and nothing comes easily in India. I will have to work alot to pay all the debt I owe and then save for myself as well. Then I will travel the world and donate for causes I believe in. This path is for me. Luckily I have really good friends who accept this and surprisingly quite a few more who don't want to have kids. Also I know it's harder for girls in society when they don't have kids compared to guys but I think we childfree and like minded people should make our own society.
@@triptirathore9027 Me too. Infact we should atleast create a community here through social media or something. It's comforting to see other Indians making the same choice.
I’m currently in college and want to stay focused on my career. I also like going to the gym when I want, going on trips when I want. I don’t want to have to bring extra luggage, which would be the kids. People need to realize that you have to WANT to have a something in order for it to work out well for you. And to add, I don’t like kids. I don’t want to be around them or hold them. That doesn’t make me evil or heartless either. People need to stop acting like childfree people don’t have a heart and are careless. I don’t know how to interact with babies, and nothing can/ will force me to. I always think about do I NEED them? Instead of WANT. Wants seem more selfish than needs.
47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids. We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to. I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets. Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.
Those are basically my reasons for not wanting children as well. There is probably maybe max 10% of me that considers the idea of having a kid but for me personally, the cons outweigh the pros. I really value having time to myself and having the freedom to be able to do things on my own schedule. I have a lot of mental health struggles also and it’s already hard enough looking after myself, having responsibility for another human is just not a good idea for me. I don’t understand why some people try to convince other people to have kids. I find it SO weird. Like I don’t go around telling strangers to reconsider having kids - that’s pretty damn rude. It’s like when I tell people (with children of their own) that I’m considering not having children, or that they’re not for me, they take it like some kind of personal attack? When all I’m doing is making a personal decision that doesn’t impact them AT ALL. Also sometimes I feel like their arguments aren’t very convincing lol. The same people who seem to try and convince me to have children are the same ones who constantly complain about the time, money and efforts it costs to raise a child...they fully have a right to complain and I understand being a parent would come with loads of challenges and it’s never going to be rainbows and butterflies! But it’s kinda funny that they are always complaining about it and then try and tell me to have a kid lol. Sorry for the wall of text but thank you for making this video. I’m sorry that you get attacked for choosing not to have children, it’s really unacceptable that people do that.
Thank you so much for watching, and sharing your thoughts! I totally get where you're coming from. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in not wanting kids
cons and pros - having a child is not a sports event where 1 point makes the difference b/w winning and losing, to quote Laura Scott you need to have "burning desire"
Me and my husband married 25 years ago, now I am 45 no kids, no regrets happy 😊like other normal couples . we travel a lot and spent time with each other.nonsense people are criticising as selfish😠.
HOW is choosing to be childfree selfish? I've never heard an actual argument behind that??? I'm in the USA and I am definitely not having kids. Didn't want them before, now I definitely don't.
You're right. You'll have less time, less $, etc. Many people tell you how much they love their children and it's great but, speak to them alone and you'll get a different answer. Many people had children by accident... Many parents are very envious of childless-people's lifestyle and freedom.
True, my colleagues always ask me when I will have kids when minutes ago, they were just complaining to me about their kids. Realized it's just them wanting me to join them in their misery
I admire your openness. In my opinion, it feels like a lot of people want children without asking themselves the questions you have presented in this video. Many times, people can be so eager to have children but don’t have much of a foundation to support them. I would hate to bring a child into this world unless I understood the responsibility and have to capabilities for them not to struggle just because I selfishly wanted children.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And I agree with you. There was a point in my life where I wanted kids without fully understanding what that actually meant. Now that I understand what it means to be a parent, I now know that having kids isn’t the best option for me
@@urbana11229 So true! I have been on the fence of wanting children. As I get older, I have become less interested. But I have not ruled it out completely. Similar to Bren, I have come to understand that parenting is not just rewarding, but it can be incredibly challenging. In addition, being a parent is not a requirement to anyone's life. Some people are just better off not having children.
@@justinsmith6095 - agreed, SOME people are just better off not having children. Being that I never really wanted any, no one needed to say that to me..
Live a life YOU love!! I fully support your decision!! SAME here. Due to growing environmental and social concerns I will never support natalists but each individual should be free to choose.
You voice is so calming. I hate that ppl made you cry about you life decisions. Good for you knowing what’s best for you and YOUR life. Proud of you! Child free life over here too 🥳
Talk EARLY with anyone you might spend your life with as a partner, spouse or significant other They can be perfect in everyway but if you two don't align on the decision for or against having kids, then the relationship is doomed from the start I thought I wanted kids my whole life. It turns out I was echoing societal expectations in my head. Existence is the best thing that ever happened to me. Life is still difficult regardless. I can barely take care of myself. How would I take care of someone else who is completely reliant on me? When I bring up the expenses of having children with parents, they often say to me "don't worry about the money. You'll figure it out." That always seemed incredible foolish to me. I have much respect and appreciation for parents. I just don't want to be one myself.
ayy love for making this video xo ..its such a taboo topic there's nobody to have healthy talks with about it (and many other things, like having toxic parents)
I appreciate this video. Fortunately every time I've said I don't want kids and here's why, everyone took it very well. I'm sorry you cried when you were confronted about YOUR CHOICE. That sucks. But I'm also glad you're sticking to your decision. It's a shame how many parents had children for other people and regretted it.
To all the people out there who feel pressured to have children, stay true to yourself. You were born with the autonomy to choose a life for yourself and you should do what's best for you, not what other's expect. I'm a mother and I'm glad to have been able to make that choice for myself. The choice to not have children is for you to make and if you don't have support in your life, just know there are those of us out here who are supporting your choice 💜
“Parenting is an option not an obligation” this!! My older relatives would bug anyone in their 20’s or when they’re successful to have as many kids as if children are props that’ll fulfill the family continuation. I’m still a teen but decided well enough that I have no need to have a kid when I’m an adult. Half of it stems from my past truama, but now it’s actually just i know they’re not needed and would get in the way of many things I achieve for. . I can just keep a cat/dog and be happy enough with just that
I’m glad someone is able to explain why they don’t want to have kids in a way that is not having to say that another persons way of thinking is wrong all because it is different. Great video. Keep it up.
agreed... I like vanilla ice cream, its not my place to criticize someone for ordering chocolate. same thing with coke or pepsi. you like what you like.
@@Brenschannel Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyone's programmed to want them. I think some people just want kids or don't want them
My husband and I are childfree. We both didn't realize it until after we were married, so we are very lucky that we are on the same page. I have ADHD and love being able to be spontaneous, spend lots of hyperfocused hours on my hobbies, and being able to be an excellent friend to many. Being a parent wouldn't be conducive to the lifestyle I envision. I'm so happy just being an auntie to my niblings and a dog mom to our rescue pup. Thanks for sharing this video!!
Can i give this video 1000👍? I fear pregnancy, birth, the aftermath and to lose myself in motherhood and not be my own person anymore. Love your video. So sad we women are shamed for not wanting to become a mother. I have always loved animals and felt not comfortable around babies or small kids. So i rather be the typical catlady and get my cuddles and love from a being that i love like a familymember.
I think kids are great and super and I adore them, which is why I’ve decided to become a teacher, not a parent. I want to help kids learn and grow without having to actually have kids of my own.
It was just yesterday, my friend and I were discussing marriage and children and I happened to say that I don't want any kids -- her awkward response felt as if something was fundamentally wrong with me. I wasn't shocked by the reaction but definitely taken aback because I expected atleast my friends to respect my decision. 🙄 But I'm glad I was able to relate to what you had to say. You have a soothing voice 💙
I think I’m too selfish to have kids. I love living my life for myself, having freedom to do what I want everyday. If I became a mother I would feel forced everyday to do things I rather would not do, lets be honest, entertaining a kid sucks, its only wining and lots of tiring work, I would become a moody and depressed mother (not a good one) and I would feel guilty everyday.
I am 32 and I am childfree and being more confident in my decision. I am the eldest of 4 siblings who I raised practically. If my mom who I love very much was out of the house it was up to me to clean, cook, and make sure my young siblings are happy and safe. It means I really lost my childhood. Then I saw how busy my mother has always been and I came to the conclusion that I do not want that type of lifestyle. Finally, I learned Chinese in my late 20s. In order for me to grow in that language and love it, I need to dedicate my time to it in small doses. For the past 4 years I have been learning in a fast pace with tests every single day. But after graduating I stopped learning it because I felt like my brain just rejected Chinese. since I got my masters in Early childhood, I am revisiting Chinese mandarin again and I am actually starting to love the language again. With Kids I would not have time to relearn what I previously thought was so overwhelming. so as far as I am concerned, No kids for me! 💖 Thanks for the video!
I am happy to know that there are many people who want to be child-free like me. I do like kids but don't want to bring children in this toxic world. Besides, I'm scared for the environmental destruction in future and it would be difficult for them to survive. I might adopt a kid if i change my mind in future.
I am 22 year-old, I decided not to have kids because of many reasons. The first reason is life is short and I have many dreams and things to do that would be difficult with children. As an Arab female, ( I live in one of the worst Arab communities, where a female is nothing) and I haven't achieved any thing yet, I didn't live my adolescence, or even adulthood. I just want to get out of this hell and start a new life from the beginning. So I need each penny and each minute in my life. Also I have ADD and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years.
I think a combination of working on and off in preschools and working with old people made me realize I don’t want kids of my own (I’m 34 and a cis-woman, for context). People assume you’ll be lonely when you’re old if you don’t have kids or that no one will take care of you, and that’s just not true. I particularly remember a lady who lay dying in her bed for weeks and her kids barely showed up even then. The people who took care of her and made her feel less lonely were us, the carers.
More people who don't have children need to speak out. I am currently 37 and I am at a point where I am unsure. Because am NOW older, I worry about the risks toward the child. I am NOT worried about never having children but I would still be blessed if I had one.
We are seven billion in this planet why need more there are kids dying and starving we should help them first I have heard many people say childeless marriages fail but marriages with children fail as well and have worse consequences
Whoever says childless marriages fail is lying. Why would people who have more time and money to spend together be more unhappy? Doesn't make sense. Now if I had a dime every time I saw a marriage fail due to kids... I'd be rich. More arguments, less sleep, less money, more fights, less time together, less attention on each other, dead bedrooms... kids kill marriages. Even if they don't divorce "because of the kids" they are still not together.
@@HikaruYamamoto - as I did ! Wish I had thought of that phase hypothetical children 20 years ago.... then again if I had I may not have been "much happier"
I really like your "preface" to the video, and i love the rest, too. You're very bright and articulate. I'm a 50 year old child free woman, and i knew i don't want kids ever since i was 16. I was open for it to change, but it didn't... There are prices to being child free (for me at least)- but i think they are totally worth it. (Children are no guarantee for care taking in old age!)
Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyones programmed to want kids. I think some people just want them or don't want them
I struggle with PTSD and depression aswell, that's another reason I'm not having children, my biological mother has mental health issues she didn't deal with and her mother aswell. It's a curse I'm not passing down.
Growing up in a very disfuncional family i always felt like i had to have kids when i got older just because my sister did and because my mom wanted grandchildren but after seeing the struggle my sister went through i decided i didn't wanna go down that path and now my family feels like I'm not complete because I don't have regular children ( i have two fur babies) and for some reason they feel i can't give any sort of advice to them because I don't have kids. It's ridiculous but I'm learning not to take offense to it and just move on.
I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice the reasons why I'm childfree because kids are a big expense and kids are alot of hard work and alot of responsibility to take care of them and to raise them and I don't want to experience how painful childbirth is
Looking after yourself is hard enough as is. If you don't know yourself very well, what chance do you have with someone who is NOT you and also knows literally nothing?
We have a couple on our street, 5 grown girls and 38 grandkids. All based on religion. When they found out my wife and I didn't have kids, they looked at us like we just committed a mass shooting.
38 grandkids? 😳 Woah! And yeah we get the "wtf is wrong with you weirdos" looks every single time people find out we don't have and don't want any kid. 🤦🏾♀️😂
I’m subscribing to more and more childfree by choice (or circumstance) TH-cam channels. And now I’ve subscribed to your channel too. I respect people’s choice to have or not have kids. I myself have chosen not to have kids. And I’m content with my choice. 🤓 I love dogs and cats, books and art, architecture and philosophy (not a philosopher, just interested in it) and being childfree gives me time to pursue my interests as much as I want. I love peace and quiet time, and I am not interested in trading it for having kids. Just my preference. 🙃🙂 - I really enjoyed your video, your voice is very soothing.🌻🌻🌻
Wonderful and thoughtful video! I feel the same way. I like children, but there are many things i like that i dont need to surround myself with 24/7. And choosing to not have children does not mean i am choosing not to love. I love my partner, my friends, my parents, my dog, i love nature, animals and time alone. I love my plants and i love to cook. I love to meditate, i love silence. I love to write, to keep a tidy and minimal home and i love to read. I love freedom. Also our natural resources are not endless. So many reasons for me. Im glad i am not alone. Thank you for making this video!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the video :) And that's so true what you said; just because we choose not to have kids doesn't mean we are choosing not to love. Thank you for commenting!
I decided to be childfree because I have a chronic illness. I'm too busy managing my condition. If I have a kid, I'll have no free time and will become depressed not being able to do what I want. Also I already work as a teacher, so I won't miss out. And I'd rather teach something I'm passionate about to a kid who's passionate about it, than have my own kid with no common interests with me. I cannot expect my own kids to have the same interests with me, but I can find students who do.
I don't want kids. I don't have a reason. Am not undecided. I just don't. Period. Simple.
Umegonga ndipo !
@Rose me too!
Me too
Same I don’t like kids
It's simple to me......👍🏾
No child asks to be born. There is suffering in life, and unless I can guarantee no illnesses, no emotional trauma, no genetic disorders, and no stress in relationships, maybe it is better to not have kids.
Agreed!
Omg I literally told someone something similar to this the other day! Children don’t have a say in being here. Idk why people act like this life is a gift when it’s not. Also if ur from America, you would not want kids. The government is corrupt and sketchy. Why force a child to be here, just to be forced to go to school, work and have to pay bills? Nah.
I wish my parents knew that before :/
@@jord3000 exactly how I feel 💯
Could it be that the prevalence of teenage suicide are people who are frustrated that they were brought in this crazy world without being asked first, take matters in their own hand so to speak?
I don't want kids. I honestly feel like if I have a child, I won't have enough time for myself or my hobbies and I think that being a parent is a life decision that it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's going to affect your life for many many years. So I really don't understand why people tell me that I'm ungrateful or selfish just for not wanting to have kids.
Thank you for sharing!
Thats really selfish... You can still do your hobbies with kids
@@dunjapanic8532 Not really, plus you don't know what hobbies this person has or any other obligations they have. Nothing about that is selfish, I hope you mature in your thinking.
I agree,and it sucks because in my culture if you don't have kids you're a Witch..The World is Changing it really feels like time is getting shorter ,like there isnt 24 hours I'm a day.
INFLATION is real,and bottom line people change like they change their clothes,and The Last thing I want is to be a single Mom struggling if LIFE JUST HAPPENS.
@@dunjapanic8532 Were all entitled to our opinion. There are a lot of children in Foster Care that need homes.We forget about the Missing Children,and Children kidnapped and Sex Trafficked.
If we go to the Bible it does say that The Lord wants us to be Fruitful and Multiple, that could be in numerous areas.If you own a successful Business you can have more than enough money to contribute to Gods people and his righteous causes.
Were all here on this earth for a PURPOSE& DESTINY.
Maybe the "NEW SELFISH" is the "NEW TRUTH".
Lets be real ... most people just want a child, they don't want to be a parent.
Just like everybody wants to have a wedding, but don't want to be married. 😊
no i don’t want kids nor to be a parent .
I dont want a child, they disgust me, i see them just as needy and ungrateful people. I will never have one or adopt one ,its just another person, is nothing special to me . But i do respect people who want one
People see parenting in such a glamorized light. They see children as fun accessories in their perfect little world. It's unrealistic and unfair to the child and themselves.
@@Lizagregorii HUH?! that’s how you view children??😭
I'm 48-year-old guy from Greece. I 've too , chosen a child-free life, because , I have too many dreams , I believe , to accomplish while I'm in life, that are , for better or for worse, not related to parenthood, even remotely. My female partner is 42, she is child-free too, and we are very lucky to share the same values and opinions on this matter. Greetings from Greece. We send you our love.
Thank you! And I’m glad to hear you and your partner are happy with your child free life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊
A fellow child-free Greek here 🙋
@@Alma-gc2to Hello Alma!!! Greetings from boiling Thessaloniki!!
@@extremotionaltrouffas greetings from the not so boiling UK! 😅
@@Alma-gc2to Haha, alright, thank you!!
I'm 36 years old with no children because i remember being told when i was 16 years old " Be sure if you really want kids because once you have them you got them for life! I heard how difficult parenting really is!
One choice is certainly more moral than the other; being childfree never harmed any children! Many children, who were born, lived horrible and meaningless lives.
This is a great perspective! I've never thought of it that way but it is so true!
Abortion has harmed alot of kids.
@@lmcneillify abortion also saved a lot of kids
@@lmcneillifyAbortion has gotten rid of a lot of cells.
I’m a Childfree guy. I’m Nigerian(a poor 3rd world African country)that alone is 1 reason. I’m a Christian. A Child can never go to Hell or suffer here on Earth if it was never born. So win win situation for everyone 🤷♂️🙌
Thank you for sharing your view on the topic! :)
Omo naija do wetin dey your mind o a lot of people are keeping up 'appearances' for show behind closed doors it's different issue kids are not cheap
Lots of Nigerian men are becoming more child free these days.
I agree
Exactly!
I decided in Grade 4 that I never wanted children. Decades later, I still feel the same way
Wow, that’s amazing. It took me years to finally realize that I didn’t want kids
@@Brenschannel I certainly question why I never had the desire... society tells me I should... but I believe it is unethical to have a child without that desire. So no desire = no kids (for me anyways!)
@@sarahg9632 I agree :)
interesting - 4th grade. do you think your classmates behavior influenced your decision?
@@urbana11229 more than likely.
I'm 27 years Old , and I can feel the pressure of people putting on me to have Kids but honestly I don't want None
Stand your ground. Because at the end of the day all the people around you are not going to be the ones stuck with the responsibility of dealing with the child. They will do what they do best, sit on their royal behinds clucking like farmyard hens
Dont worry friend you have less to worry about as a man, no chance of accidental pregnancies or a body that has 9 months of torture
I don’t want kids because they are too much responsibility.
Yes. People need to learn that not everyone wants THAT type of responsibility. I also fear that I’ll end up living my life for someone else instead of myself😫 someone I know has said that when their kids came along, they did EVERYTHING for their children instead of for themselves. We only get one life, you best live it how you want and screw what others think of your choice to not have kids.
I feel relieved not being married or having kids. I love being single and free. I am a free bird and don't want to be tied down by anyone or anything.
I thought I wanted kids but then now that I’m 38, I realized that things happened for a reason and being child free is the BEST thing that ever happened to me. You are making the RIGHT DECISION.
i'm smiling reading that. When I was 38 22 years ago I had no interest in having kids but was matched by a fried with a 34byr old lady who did !! i thought she'd change her mind. she never did. se turned 38 and dumped me to find someone to you know, and 18 later it looks like she never did.
I have 3 and you can’t understand the happiness they bring
@@Bigbossman707 Results vary - not everyone gets happiness from such a situation.
@@Bigbossman707 we have different kind of happiness. Not having kids is the best decision for me.
What annoys me is that people tell me “you should have kids” but so many times they complain how hard it is to have kids and I see how stressed out they are all the time. In my opinion these type of people telling you to have kids because they can’t stand seeing you living your life and doing what you love to do. I’m 26 and I’ve never had a desire to have kids and I’m happy with my decision!
Don’t mind those people. Keep doing what you love while they live miserable and unhappy lives. I feel like people like that didn’t really want kids, but maybe they’ve been pressured to have them by society and even their families.
@@jord3000 Yes, well said! Because if they really wanted kids they should be happy and focus on themselves and their kids, not other people and tell others what to do.
@@patricia_1303 I also think they care too much about what others think that they can’t live for themselves and do things bc they genuinely want to, misery LOVES company. Never let other’s pressure or manipulate you into doing something you know you don’t want to do, that’s how you’ll become miserable, exactly like those people.
@@jord3000 Yeah that’s right and they also live within the “norm” so they think everyone should do the same thing like get a job, buy a house, get married, have kids, but life doesn’t always work this way and people want different things. Yeah and I would rather argue then do something against my will!
What a great message! I have lived my 20s getting into relationships for the sole purpose of becoming a mother. Every relationship failed. At some point I said to myself that if I don't find a partner by the time I am 29, I will find a donor and become a single mother before I am 30. This whole thing, was influenced by my mother's wish to become a grandmother and not by my true wish to become a mother myself. Since I was 18 my mum constantly told me to have a kid soon, the younger the better, that this is what life's purpose is, to find a partner and have a kid. I got to 29, with a loving partner... but I was in a better place, a mind clear space, where I was finally able to make my own decisions and I decided it wasn't the time, I had lots of soul searching to do on this topic. Fast forward to now, I am 34 and have been through a beautiful self-healing and self-discovery journey. Guess what, turns out I do not want to be a mother, I don't want kids, it had always been my parents wish. I love my life as it is and I am so grateful that my life's path brought me here, to this moment of realization. Thank you for sharing Bren!
Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you realized that it wasn’t something you wanted. We shouldn’t be pressured to have kids just to please our family if we really don’t want them
I so happy you brought up the pressure from parents aspect. My husbands brother had a kid and the kid was just born and everyone started asking him when is having one telling him he’s next. People ask like it’s mandatory. I personally think it’s private and should be brought up if we choose to.
At 32 years young (😂), I’m currently undecided. More or less leaning towards no kids
And that’s totally fine! 🙂
33 years 'young' 😉 and feel the same way.. about 80% sure.
I have more of a problem with saying years young than not or having kids. The progression of age is only linear with people having more faculties through the further stages. One does not get younger as they age. This isn't Benjamin Button.
@@pmayh3m thanks for the mansplaining Daniel 😂 (ps please don't take that too seriously)
@@frummel403 lol... you're welcome
As a 32 year old woman, married, I’m on the fence but leaning towards no. I remember having a fear of being pregnant throughout my whole 20’s and thought that I would just get over it. A lot of people would tell me, “it’s not the end of the world if you get pregnant, you have a job, a good partner” .....But to me it would be the end of MY world.” My world includes just focusing on my hobbies, taking time for me, focusing on my career, and just plain getting to do what I want to do which is part of being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to when you reach adulthood so why all of a sudden do we have to answer to society or family by giving them what they want? I always Thought I would just finally get that instinct to have them but as much as I love kids, I’m never had the real urge to just have them. One of my pet peeves is when people also say, “when you meet the right guy”which quite frankly is insulting to say especially to a woman who may have a partner. I have an amazing kind husband who treats me with respect. He is the RIGHT guy. We just may not want kids!
2 great points here 1. its the end of MY world. 2. being an adult. You no longer have anyone to answer to . I think yo mean your parents... thats how I interpreted it.
Also, let's not forget that child-birth can also k*ll some people. So it actually is the end of the world for them. 😭
I’ve had that when someone said to me you’re boyfriend is not good for you because he doesn’t want to have kids, if you had a guy who wanted to have kids you would want them too. People are so stupid! if I had a partner who wanted to have kids, it would never be a relationship because we want different things. I’ve been with my partner over 7 years now and we are happy without kids.
@@patricia_1303 I cannot believe how worked up people get when someone says they don’t want kids. You can’t force someone to have or do something they don’t want. This life is full of suffering. I’d rather prevent bringing a child into the world now before they are born and it’s too late. Life is so unfair. Having children is a personal decision and should not be made by people who aren’t gonna be the child’s parents. Your friends and family members should never have a say or even influence you to have kids because guess what at the end of the day that potentially child is yours and your responsibility!
@@jord3000 Yeah exactly that’s my point! People tell you to have kids but they won’t be looking after them, you will and it means changing your whole life, your routine, your lifestyle, your plans but people don’t take that into consideration and it can be really frustrating. They will never ask if you can afford to have kids, people are struggling financially these days anyway and also people should never tell a woman to have kids, what if she can’t have them? No consideration for other people whatsoever. But I guess these type of people will never learn
Don’t want to go through childbirth and pregnancy
Don’t want the responsibility
I struggle with generalized anxiety and depression
I don’t have the patience
I just don’t have the desire
As a black man, I been called "GAY" because I don't have or want children---I feel free and I have time for myself---I know I wouldn't be a good father if I decide to have a child.
I wish more men would be honest with themselves. If they don't want them or know they would not be a decent parent, they should get vasectomies.
I'm childfree because this lifestyle is way more appealing to me than parenthood. I'm lucky to have a mom who respects my decision and doesn't pressure me to make her a grandma 😊❤
Being an aunt of 9 and having my hands full when parents aren’t around has made me not want kids. I don’t like they idea waking up pissed and bothered. I grew up with anger problems and now an adult and still working on it. It would be selfish of me to take that out on my kid. There are too many parents with these issues and needs to stop.
same with being an uncle. you cant believe the s^% they do or don't do and that it becomes a high priority it fix it.
I’m a child free man myself just recently became an uncle to my sister and her partners baby a few months ago
@@Will.Flavell I'm glad I became an uncle. I can spend time with my nephews and nieces, and bring them back to their parents when get tired of playing with them. I enjoy my freedom.
@@Kjones520 Same! When I took care of my cousin baby. That baby made me realize that motherhood isn't 100% for me. The thought of being responsible for another life is scary, especially if you messed up your decisions in life a lot.
I do not want to have children, the world is not easy and everything indicates that it will only get worse. I don't want to put a child in the world to suffer.
Same then pressure them into living a life they may not want to live? Nope.
Same.
I think having a child is probably the scariest thing you could do. Having to give brith to a human and taking care of it so that it becomes a good citizen is probably the hardest task one could ever have. But I don't think I am emotionally stable OR physically available to have a child of my own. I am a biologist and the idea of generating a child of my own seems fascinating, but given how fast we're depleting our resources I don't see a point to contributing to it by putting another human being on Earth.
I think it's super selfish to put a child on this Earth. If you want to be a parent so badly you have to accept that you will love a child and care for it no matter if it came from you, no matter what developmental or psychological problems they might have, no matter how much of a struggle to take care of they will be. It's a big issue that people don't think these things through before having a child, and just do it because it's considered "natural" or so they "won't be alone when they're old".
Thank you for sharing your perspective! For me as well, it’s definitely scary the thought of having a child
Haveing babies is not gonna fix your unhappy state or depressed in state
I've heard people say that they had their kids in their 20s so that they could enjoy their 40s. I say, you can enjoy your 20s AND 40s by not having any kids at all! We were influenced to believe that having kids is a mandatory thing to do when you actually don't have to have them at all!
I feel the same way, too. I have autism, ADHD, anxiety and some forms of trauma, and I’m not taking chance at breeding. I’m glad to be an uncle.
I can imagine myself being literally anything but a mother. People always tell me that I shouldn’t say that I don’t want kids bc that would make me less of a woman, and I wouldn’t fulfill my purpose in this world as a woman if I didn’t have kids. Even tho I’m accomplished (I’m a neurologist) this apparently means nothing if I didn’t have kids. 😑
really how toxic can people get is like they cant see women as humans as persons just machines for the benefit of others .and then they wonder how books like the handmaid's tale exist
ps your profesion is goals thanks is just it inspires me to hear of accomplished women and in neurology but sorry for the english thought
This doesn't make you less of a woman. Don't listen to those people.
Your vagina won’t disappear just because you don’t want kids. You’re still a women. Don’t listen to those people!
I’m so happy you posted this! I’m 40 and my family tries to change my mind about having kids. It’s just not for me. ❤️
I’m glad you liked the video! I’m happy that it’s resonating with a lot of people. Yes, do what’s best for you ☺️
It's interesting when people throw at us the "don't you think it's selfish?" question. If you think about it, having children is selfish AF.
I think they just want everyone to join the club.
I feel like if I had kids I would have a nervous breakdown. I hate loud noises and messes. My ocd can’t handle it
im so glad you included the undecided part. a lot of people feel undecided and make the decision of having kids to see how they feel but you cant go back from that. thank you for another great video bren!!
Yes, it’s a huge life decision to make that you can’t back out of once it’s done. So it’s important to be 100% sure. I’m glad you liked the video :)
As a guy approaching 30, I've always been asked if I have a child or even had a girlfriend, and I said no to both of them, because I never had those desires. People would tell me that I'll end up lonely if I don't. But honestly, I'd rather live a lonely life than not being able to fulfill another person's life experience. As of right now, I'm satisfied with how my life is going.
Same here bro, I’m 25, single and starting to get those questions frequently. I just started my career, like I don’t have time right now I’m good with just my dog (dalmation).
I love being childfree. Childfree people must be careful to not gloat so much. And we must not let the world make us feel that we owe other people something, such as letting them put their kids off on us so they can have a break of parenting.
Exactly I will not be taking care of anyone else’s kids. I don’t want anything to do with people who have kids. Like stay tf away from me. Lmao.😂
Every time my mother in law asks I tell her 4 grandkids is enough. I already play a big part in their lives. I'll stick to being an aunt. I'm too selfish. I want to focus on my career, going on vacations, and my partner.
I don't think it's selfish at all. I think it's simply okay for you to want to focus on your career and enjoy your life with your partner. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy :)
Selfishness is not living how you want to live, its wanting others to live how you want them to. You are not selfish!
Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child ! Well
Said ! I wish more people understand this
I myself do not have nor want kids anyway. I'm heavily immersed into my medical profession. Besides when I come home from work and school, I like my place clean and quiet.
I like the phrase...Bring a child into this world...This phrase alone explains why most people really dont want children...
I have no problem to stay children free)) I'm 29 and I don't like the way this world is going....so, I'm going just enjoy my life)) Hello from Russia ✨
Privyet! (I’m learning Russian and Ukrainian since that’s what my boyfriend speaks) And yes, you should definitely enjoy your life. Thank you for sharing your thought 😊
Jezebel Love -No one is forcing you to have children, ( God forbid!) more women have decided the same, BUT! And there is always a BUT, if the trend continues, and with the cost of providing for even one child forever going up and more women stop having children, the consequences for a country will be dire, . Hungary and other countries are beginning to wake up to the problem and will pay families to have children. You will not be 29 forever, eventually you will retire, and if the trend continues you will live to be 80 and over; someone else's son or daughter will have to work to keep every thing running, for you and other woman like you to enjoy a certain level of standard of living. Except there won't be enough of them to provide. Every thing has consequences.
@@marcellogenesi6390 Again it's a personal decision. Why don't u come at a man with that same logic?
@@marcellogenesi6390 There shouldn't be any consequences when it comes to a personal decision. I don't see u going after childfree men like myself and others. Yet u go after our counterparts.
@@edgar22452 I was hoping that you would understand that I was not trying to play the blame game , but stating the facts. I would listen without prejudice if you could be more specific, on points that you disagree. Modern women, have the final decision, when it comes to reproduction, is called women emancipation. They have a choice, but that does not mean that there are no consequences.
Children are not a blessing, in my opinion. They are simply humans just like anyone else. Raising them is burdensome, expensive, draining on social/emotional/financial resources, often boring or unfulfilling for many people, and many of them have severe physical, psychological or developmental problems. You can ask my mom and I’m sure she would honestly say that she regretted having us at one point. I prefer to have a career over children because I contribute more meaningful things to through my career than through having children. I hate the idea of large families. I’m really introverted and my idea of a happy life is peace, quiet and solitude around my house where I have more time to indulge in things more important to my values such as my hobbies, interests, books, and travel. I hate the idea of having 3-5 noisy kids around the house who take away from my time, freedom, solitude, peace and quiet. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Having a large family is just a boring, stressful, loud, noisy, joyless existence, in my opinion. I don’t want to have any children at all, but if I did I would adopt two kids from foster care or I would only adopt one child.
Love this comment
I am the oldest of 6 siblings from Chin state of Myanmar. My parents were farmers and extremely poor. We did not have enough food during rainy season every year and borrow from neighbours. We did not have money to pay school fee and teachers often sent us back home and told us not to come back until we can pay. We attended public school but had to pay a little fee like 500 kyats occasionally and we did not have it. We were very embarrassed in front of our classmates. I cooked and did all house chores, and took care of my siblings at the same time when my parents slept at forest farms from Monday to Saturday. I wore second-hand clothes and never had new ones. My father was alcoholic and drank every weekend, and beat mom every month. Mom fled home to her mother's house leaving us alone with drunk dad. Dad sometimes did not come home for days. Sometimes I cook rice soup and drank it with my siblings because we did not have enough rice. I washed all my siblings' clothes, mine and father's with hands. I cried almost every week thinking 'wouldn't it be better if I were not born'. Many times, I went to nearby forest and planned to commit suicide by hanging myself to tree but always stopped because I pitied my siblings thinking 'who would take care of them if I were gone'. I cried a lot in forest and went back home after hours of crying. Now I am 30 but I still have to work for my parents and siblings. I have been living for others and suffering since as long as I can remember. So I don't want to have children. I just want to live freely and in peace for once before I die. Btw, I am man.
Your a literal fucking superhero Sir
I totally stand with you in your decision. As a man, I think everyone should be free to make whatever damn decision is best for them, and no amount of guilt-tripping or shaming will ever change that. At the end of the day, only YOU know what path is best for you.
THIS! I resonate so much with this video. People always try to convince me that my mind will change, but I honestly believe if you're not overwhelmingly excited and mentally prepared to have kids, it unfair to bring a whole precious life into the world.
I’m so glad you resonated with this! And I totally agree with you!
I totally agree with your comment.
if people try to tell you you'll change your mind, just say ok, not now, and change the subject,
34 y/o and I’ve known I didn’t want kids when I was like 9 or 10 and i haven’t found that desire people talk about, I actually get stressed out thinking about kids.
I'm good with kids but I don't want any kids of my own. I'm 22 and I'm from India. I'm not remotely close to where I want to be in life and nothing comes easily in India. I will have to work alot to pay all the debt I owe and then save for myself as well. Then I will travel the world and donate for causes I believe in. This path is for me. Luckily I have really good friends who accept this and surprisingly quite a few more who don't want to have kids. Also I know it's harder for girls in society when they don't have kids compared to guys but I think we childfree and like minded people should make our own society.
Glad you chose a path that you know is right for you :)
True. We need a childfree society here in India. ✊🏻
I agree need childfree society in India , I am glad to find these videos
@@triptirathore9027 Me too. Infact we should atleast create a community here through social media or something. It's comforting to see other Indians making the same choice.
@@palakjain1099 yeah absolutely we should. Atleast a watsapp group or Facebook group or something.
World travel seems much more enjoyable than children.
I’m currently in college and want to stay focused on my career. I also like going to the gym when I want, going on trips when I want. I don’t want to have to bring extra luggage, which would be the kids. People need to realize that you have to WANT to have a something in order for it to work out well for you. And to add, I don’t like kids. I don’t want to be around them or hold them. That doesn’t make me evil or heartless either. People need to stop acting like childfree people don’t have a heart and are careless. I don’t know how to interact with babies, and nothing can/ will force me to. I always think about do I NEED them? Instead of WANT. Wants seem more selfish than needs.
You said this perfectly, literally my thoughts exactly.🦋💕
Thank you! I'm glad you were able to relate to this :)
A thousand percent. Very well articulated. I just got drawn to you. My gut was right. Thank you. 💕
If I could have stopped the moment I was conceived. I woyluld have.
Yes. I wish I could’ve stopped it before it happened.
@@jord3000 I wish I wasn't born, I was I was born as a rich person's dog.
47y/o here. My wife and I chose to not have kids.
We had an unplanned pregnancy at 39. We seriously thought about changing plans and becoming parents last minute, but ultimately decided not to.
I kept waiting to "regret it" as we get older but our life has never been happier. Things just get better as we age. Its honestly bliss, and 0 regrets.
Thanks for being honest about the childfree life and normalizing that choice.
I’m happy to hear that you and your wife don’t have any regrets and are still enjoying life!
Those are basically my reasons for not wanting children as well. There is probably maybe max 10% of me that considers the idea of having a kid but for me personally, the cons outweigh the pros. I really value having time to myself and having the freedom to be able to do things on my own schedule. I have a lot of mental health struggles also and it’s already hard enough looking after myself, having responsibility for another human is just not a good idea for me.
I don’t understand why some people try to convince other people to have kids. I find it SO weird. Like I don’t go around telling strangers to reconsider having kids - that’s pretty damn rude. It’s like when I tell people (with children of their own) that I’m considering not having children, or that they’re not for me, they take it like some kind of personal attack? When all I’m doing is making a personal decision that doesn’t impact them AT ALL.
Also sometimes I feel like their arguments aren’t very convincing lol. The same people who seem to try and convince me to have children are the same ones who constantly complain about the time, money and efforts it costs to raise a child...they fully have a right to complain and I understand being a parent would come with loads of challenges and it’s never going to be rainbows and butterflies! But it’s kinda funny that they are always complaining about it and then try and tell me to have a kid lol.
Sorry for the wall of text but thank you for making this video. I’m sorry that you get attacked for choosing not to have children, it’s really unacceptable that people do that.
Thank you so much for watching, and sharing your thoughts! I totally get where you're coming from. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in not wanting kids
cons and pros - having a child is not a sports event where 1 point makes the difference b/w winning and losing, to quote Laura Scott you need to have "burning desire"
Thank you! Parenting is an option NOT an obligation!
Me and my husband married 25 years ago, now I am 45 no kids, no regrets happy 😊like other normal couples . we travel a lot and spent time with each other.nonsense people are criticising as selfish😠.
HOW is choosing to be childfree selfish? I've never heard an actual argument behind that??? I'm in the USA and I am definitely not having kids. Didn't want them before, now I definitely don't.
Same. Heck I dare someone come after me with a gun. I will die with my decision intact
You're right. You'll have less time, less $, etc. Many people tell you how much they love their children and it's great but, speak to them alone and you'll get a different answer. Many people had children by accident... Many parents are very envious of childless-people's lifestyle and freedom.
True, my colleagues always ask me when I will have kids when minutes ago, they were just complaining to me about their kids. Realized it's just them wanting me to join them in their misery
@@renek2913 Misery loves company.
I admire your openness. In my opinion, it feels like a lot of people want children without asking themselves the questions you have presented in this video. Many times, people can be so eager to have children but don’t have much of a foundation to support them. I would hate to bring a child into this world unless I understood the responsibility and have to capabilities for them not to struggle just because I selfishly wanted children.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! And I agree with you. There was a point in my life where I wanted kids without fully understanding what that actually meant. Now that I understand what it means to be a parent, I now know that having kids isn’t the best option for me
good points - of coarse its easier if you just don't want any.
@@urbana11229 So true! I have been on the fence of wanting children. As I get older, I have become less interested. But I have not ruled it out completely. Similar to Bren, I have come to understand that parenting is not just rewarding, but it can be incredibly challenging. In addition, being a parent is not a requirement to anyone's life. Some people are just better off not having children.
@@justinsmith6095 - agreed, SOME people are just better off not having children. Being that I never really wanted any, no one needed to say that to me..
No kids: no stress and more money
I just don't want the economic burden of a family of my own
So many parents i see have hardly chosen to enjoy life for themselves. And so it confuses me so much why they would choose life for another person.
Live a life YOU love!! I fully support your decision!! SAME here. Due to growing environmental and social concerns I will never support natalists but each individual should be free to choose.
I always knew since I was 15 that I want to be child free by choice ,I'm glad u made this video, I love u sister I'm 18
I’m a 15 year old guy and already decided I don’t want kids.
You are a wise young man! Props to you! 💯
You voice is so calming. I hate that ppl made you cry about you life decisions. Good for you knowing what’s best for you and YOUR life. Proud of you! Child free life over here too 🥳
Talk EARLY with anyone you might spend your life with as a partner, spouse or significant other
They can be perfect in everyway but if you two don't align on the decision for or against having kids, then the relationship is doomed from the start
I thought I wanted kids my whole life. It turns out I was echoing societal expectations in my head.
Existence is the best thing that ever happened to me. Life is still difficult regardless. I can barely take care of myself. How would I take care of someone else who is completely reliant on me?
When I bring up the expenses of having children with parents, they often say to me "don't worry about the money. You'll figure it out."
That always seemed incredible foolish to me.
I have much respect and appreciation for parents. I just don't want to be one myself.
Thank you for making this video and speaking about the Childfree community!
ayy love for making this video xo ..its such a taboo topic there's nobody to have healthy talks with about it (and many other things, like having toxic parents)
I appreciate this video. Fortunately every time I've said I don't want kids and here's why, everyone took it very well. I'm sorry you cried when you were confronted about YOUR CHOICE. That sucks. But I'm also glad you're sticking to your decision. It's a shame how many parents had children for other people and regretted it.
To all the people out there who feel pressured to have children, stay true to yourself. You were born with the autonomy to choose a life for yourself and you should do what's best for you, not what other's expect. I'm a mother and I'm glad to have been able to make that choice for myself. The choice to not have children is for you to make and if you don't have support in your life, just know there are those of us out here who are supporting your choice 💜
“Parenting is an option not an obligation” this!! My older relatives would bug anyone in their 20’s or when they’re successful to have as many kids as if children are props that’ll fulfill the family continuation.
I’m still a teen but decided well enough that I have no need to have a kid when I’m an adult. Half of it stems from my past truama, but now it’s actually just i know they’re not needed and would get in the way of many things I achieve for. . I can just keep a cat/dog and be happy enough with just that
I would definitely also be happy enough with just a dog or cat :)
I’m glad someone is able to explain why they don’t want to have kids in a way that is not having to say that another persons way of thinking is wrong all because it is different. Great video. Keep it up.
Thank you!
agreed... I like vanilla ice cream, its not my place to criticize someone for ordering chocolate. same thing with coke or pepsi. you like what you like.
@@Brenschannel Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyone's programmed to want them. I think some people just want kids or don't want them
My husband and I are childfree. We both didn't realize it until after we were married, so we are very lucky that we are on the same page.
I have ADHD and love being able to be spontaneous, spend lots of hyperfocused hours on my hobbies, and being able to be an excellent friend to many. Being a parent wouldn't be conducive to the lifestyle I envision. I'm so happy just being an auntie to my niblings and a dog mom to our rescue pup.
Thanks for sharing this video!!
Thank you for watching! I would definitely be satisfied just being an aunt or a dog mom as well :)
Can i give this video 1000👍? I fear pregnancy, birth, the aftermath and to lose myself in motherhood and not be my own person anymore. Love your video. So sad we women are shamed for not wanting to become a mother. I have always loved animals and felt not comfortable around babies or small kids. So i rather be the typical catlady and get my cuddles and love from a being that i love like a familymember.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the video :)
I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them.
PS: I love your voice :)
My parents were horrible to me. I don't ever plan on taking care of them when they become old. Thank God they have other children.
I think kids are great and super and I adore them, which is why I’ve decided to become a teacher, not a parent. I want to help kids learn and grow without having to actually have kids of my own.
Great video. I’m a 28 year old guy who knows I don’t want kids. Having them is a choice! Keep living your truth :)
Good for you! Always be that way 💯
It was just yesterday, my friend and I were discussing marriage and children and I happened to say that I don't want any kids -- her awkward response felt as if something was fundamentally wrong with me. I wasn't shocked by the reaction but definitely taken aback because I expected atleast my friends to respect my decision. 🙄
But I'm glad I was able to relate to what you had to say. You have a soothing voice 💙
I’m glad you were able to relate!
I think I’m too selfish to have kids. I love living my life for myself, having freedom to do what I want everyday. If I became a mother I would feel forced everyday to do things I rather would not do, lets be honest, entertaining a kid sucks, its only wining and lots of tiring work, I would become a moody and depressed mother (not a good one) and I would feel guilty everyday.
I am 32 and I am childfree and being more confident in my decision. I am the eldest of 4 siblings who I raised practically. If my mom who I love very much was out of the house it was up to me to clean, cook, and make sure my young siblings are happy and safe. It means I really lost my childhood. Then I saw how busy my mother has always been and I came to the conclusion that I do not want that type of lifestyle. Finally, I learned Chinese in my late 20s. In order for me to grow in that language and love it, I need to dedicate my time to it in small doses. For the past 4 years I have been learning in a fast pace with tests every single day. But after graduating I stopped learning it because I felt like my brain just rejected Chinese. since I got my masters in Early childhood, I am revisiting Chinese mandarin again and I am actually starting to love the language again. With Kids I would not have time to relearn what I previously thought was so overwhelming. so as far as I am concerned, No kids for me! 💖
Thanks for the video!
I’m afraid of being left alone to raise a child. No thanks.
I am happy to know that there are many people who want to be child-free like me. I do like kids but don't want to bring children in this toxic world. Besides, I'm scared for the environmental destruction in future and it would be difficult for them to survive. I might adopt a kid if i change my mind in future.
Adoption is a great option if you ever change your mind. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)
I am 22 year-old, I decided not to have kids because of many reasons. The first reason is life is short and I have many dreams and things to do that would be difficult with children. As an Arab female, ( I live in one of the worst Arab communities, where a female is nothing) and I haven't achieved any thing yet, I didn't live my adolescence, or even adulthood. I just want to get out of this hell and start a new life from the beginning. So I need each penny and each minute in my life. Also I have ADD and I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years.
We are 44 & blissfully childfree. The family & cultural pressure is enormous. So glad we didn’t cave! Peace & good luck ☀️
I think a combination of working on and off in preschools and working with old people made me realize I don’t want kids of my own (I’m 34 and a cis-woman, for context). People assume you’ll be lonely when you’re old if you don’t have kids or that no one will take care of you, and that’s just not true. I particularly remember a lady who lay dying in her bed for weeks and her kids barely showed up even then. The people who took care of her and made her feel less lonely were us, the carers.
More people who don't have children need to speak out. I am currently 37 and I am at a point where I am unsure. Because am NOW older, I worry about the risks toward the child. I am NOT worried about never having children but I would still be blessed if I had one.
We are seven billion in this planet why need more there are kids dying and starving we should help them first I have heard many people say childeless marriages fail but marriages with children fail as well and have worse consequences
Whoever says childless marriages fail is lying. Why would people who have more time and money to spend together be more unhappy? Doesn't make sense. Now if I had a dime every time I saw a marriage fail due to kids... I'd be rich. More arguments, less sleep, less money, more fights, less time together, less attention on each other, dead bedrooms... kids kill marriages. Even if they don't divorce "because of the kids" they are still not together.
@@HikaruYamamoto - probably because one wanted kids and the other didn't
@@urbana11229 Well then they will be much happier finding someone who actually loves them and won't choose hypothetical children over them.
@@HikaruYamamoto - as I did ! Wish I had thought of that phase hypothetical children 20 years ago.... then again if I had I may not have been "much happier"
@@urbana11229 why wouldn't you have been happier?
Ever since I was young I always answered I “never want kid” I an not actively looking into sterilization as my gift to myself at 21
I really like your "preface" to the video, and i love the rest, too. You're very bright and articulate.
I'm a 50 year old child free woman, and i knew i don't want kids ever since i was 16. I was open for it to change, but it didn't... There are prices to being child free (for me at least)- but i think they are totally worth it.
(Children are no guarantee for care taking in old age!)
This is what we were worried about but you responded us accidentally thank you
Being programmed to want kids could be why some people think they want kids. And then realize they don't want kids. But I don't think everyones programmed to want kids. I think some people just want them or don't want them
I struggle with PTSD and depression aswell, that's another reason I'm not having children, my biological mother has mental health issues she didn't deal with and her mother aswell. It's a curse I'm not passing down.
Thank you for being so bold and vocal about it dear sis, you spoke my mind very beautifully, God bless your soul!
Growing up in a very disfuncional family i always felt like i had to have kids when i got older just because my sister did and because my mom wanted grandchildren but after seeing the struggle my sister went through i decided i didn't wanna go down that path and now my family feels like I'm not complete because I don't have regular children ( i have two fur babies) and for some reason they feel i can't give any sort of advice to them because I don't have kids. It's ridiculous but I'm learning not to take offense to it and just move on.
Thank you for sharing! I hope to have fur babies one day :)
@@Brenschannel you will once you're ready i have two pugs and they are lazy and active like me 😂🥰
@@rachelcontreras9225 pugs are so adorable
@@Brenschannel tell me about! I wake up every morning just so happy to see there little fuzzy faces 🥰
I'm 39 and I'm childfree by choice the reasons why I'm childfree because kids are a big expense and kids are alot of hard work and alot of responsibility to take care of them and to raise them and I don't want to experience how painful childbirth is
42, married, child-free. DINK FTW!
Looking after yourself is hard enough as is. If you don't know yourself very well, what chance do you have with someone who is NOT you and also knows literally nothing?
We have a couple on our street, 5 grown girls and 38 grandkids. All based on religion. When they found out my wife and I didn't have kids, they looked at us like we just committed a mass shooting.
38 grandkids? 😳 Woah! And yeah we get the "wtf is wrong with you weirdos" looks every single time people find out we don't have and don't want any kid. 🤦🏾♀️😂
I'd avoid them if I could. The 5/38 breakdown. what religion told them to have that amount, or ONLY that amount?
Do you want kids? No. You will when you find the right person. No! Your life is so fulfilled when you have kids. NO! Why are you being so mean to me?
I love it in childfree land! The freedom I am allowed for the rest of my life is really what did it for me
I’m subscribing to more and more childfree by choice (or circumstance) TH-cam channels. And now I’ve subscribed to your channel too. I respect people’s choice to have or not have kids. I myself have chosen not to have kids. And I’m content with my choice. 🤓
I love dogs and cats, books and art, architecture and philosophy (not a philosopher, just interested in it) and being childfree gives me time to pursue my interests as much as I want. I love peace and quiet time, and I am not interested in trading it for having kids. Just my preference. 🙃🙂
- I really enjoyed your video, your voice is very soothing.🌻🌻🌻
Wonderful and thoughtful video! I feel the same way. I like children, but there are many things i like that i dont need to surround myself with 24/7. And choosing to not have children does not mean i am choosing not to love. I love my partner, my friends, my parents, my dog, i love nature, animals and time alone. I love my plants and i love to cook. I love to meditate, i love silence. I love to write, to keep a tidy and minimal home and i love to read. I love freedom.
Also our natural resources are not endless. So many reasons for me. Im glad i am not alone. Thank you for making this video!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the video :) And that's so true what you said; just because we choose not to have kids doesn't mean we are choosing not to love. Thank you for commenting!
You are right. As a care giver most of people when they get old have their full time professional care givers and rarely their relatives .
I decided to be childfree because I have a chronic illness. I'm too busy managing my condition. If I have a kid, I'll have no free time and will become depressed not being able to do what I want. Also I already work as a teacher, so I won't miss out. And I'd rather teach something I'm passionate about to a kid who's passionate about it, than have my own kid with no common interests with me. I cannot expect my own kids to have the same interests with me, but I can find students who do.