I am told this often! By my partner. My tone is really terrible equaling bad communication. I hope to get better at this. So this video is so helpful. Thank you.
Working in customer service, I find this very helpful. Even when I get stressed, it clearly comes across at times and just using a positive and happy tone can make a not nice customer at least respect me.
My tone and delivery is often terrible and I often have no idea at all. I've been trying to get better about this. I've gotten in trouble at work because of this and this is why I question often times if I am on the spectrum...
Hi Zak~ thanks so much for this wonderful comment. So happy you're enjoying the content, more to come! One thing that can really help the channel grow is through sharing the videos :) thank you so much for being here!
Just so resonly, I was told to watch your tone . I did start off with sounding angry or maybe annoyed with people . Doesn't help when you don't realize this issue that you're having. I've picked up on habits of sounding more bored and condescending straight down bitter. i didn't realize how much i picked up on living with someone with these habits . I didn't know 5 it could do in your personal life and public life. How you come off to people need to learn to let go and move on, or seek different types of training to learn how to work on yourself. It's never too late to teach an old dog some new tricks .
So rather than express true emotion, hide it and speak passively in order to avoid conflict? I’m struggling with this tone stuff. I don’t have the energy to make a fake voice every time I talk to someone?
Hello, Katrina. in response to your comment, regulating your tone is not about hiding your true emotions or speaking in a "fake voice." In the video I created, I emphasized the importance of tone in effective communication. I cited Professor Albert Mehrabian's 7-38-55 rule, which highlights that 38% of communication is conveyed through tone alone. The video suggests that when emotions run high, your tone is one of the first things to be affected. For instance, even a simple phrase like "I'm going out to buy some eggs" can carry different meanings when said in a calm tone versus an angry one. The key takeaway is to check your emotions and adopt a calm mindset before responding, to avoid being reactive. So, it's not about masking what you feel; it's about expressing it in a way that's most likely to be well-received. A well-regulated tone can actually make your communication more effective and authentic, not less.
@@katrinamaile1357unfortunately that will cause you alot of problem with others. It's not about caring about their judgement is about not allowing your emotions to control you when your communicating so you can effectively get your point across while not arousing their bias or offending them when your don't mean to. Being considerate of them while trying to get them to understand you
How do you control the tone with your attitude. I have moments in conversations where attitude and tone clash. It ruins my communication with a conversation.
I have been experiencing this whole situation.....Unfortunately I have a deep voice and I happen to speak with conviction & I'm quite honest and I express compassion....I just can't see myself talking like I'm some kind of Dork..
When ever I am upset I always maintain a neutral tone. My pacing is steady but not fast and my volume doesn't fluctuate and I don't yell. I don't stand face to face but sit side by side when I express why I am upset to avoid being perceived as aggressive. I am honest and tactful yet my delivery is still perceived to be rude. Am I missing something?
Sometimes people want your responses to show sympathy or to understand their feelings. The advices given in the video are great for more formal settings where you should be neutral and moderately friendly, however, when we share the same space frequently there is a barrier in intimacy that is inevitably broken. If you act as a distant honest and tactful business partner to people who you see every day, there’s gonna be a feeling that they are being pushed away or kept at a exaggerated distance from who you really are. Maybe you could try to show a bit of your personality and see their reaction?
I think ethnic has something to do with it too I'm Italian and we speak in different tones a lot of emotion goes into our communication and a lot of times this works against you I wondered if you had any comments
Im only speaking and get told its my tone. Im not even angry....... its how i speak. If i was angry you would know. Then get told im doing this wrong that wrong when im trying my best.i honestly try not t9 have tone
I have GREAT success not listening to tones and focusing on the message. Dyslexia I think helps me with that. No has nothing to do with my understanding of the message. If I pay attention to tone the message will be gone. So I don't
I’m watching a bunch of videos because I’m a clinical intern ,and my supervisor keeps telling me in my mock therapy sessions I come off defensive and intimidating in my responses🥴 I think I’m calm , professional and clear , but he thinks otherwise 😂 and I am so confused because he is the first to ever tell me this 🥴
hm... "how you say it" is identical with "what are your actually saying"... idea that expresses meaning includes all its connotations and nuances within it.... so again...invention of another false academic dichotomy to get your tenure but in the end all this leads academia into lala land... you can not separate "how you say it" from "what are you actually saying"... if you call someone islamophobe or racist you are ridiculing her to silence....labeling -that is the meaning there to what you are saying... You see this the very moment when you ask him to clarify the labeling... he just screams: racist, racist, racist or islamphobe, islmophobe, islamophobe... how is said it is identical with what is he saying..
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I am told this often! By my partner. My tone is really terrible equaling bad communication. I hope to get better at this. So this video is so helpful. Thank you.
Same - and I couldn't figure it out until I recorded myself. I was literally mistaken all the time about my intent.
Ahhhh, finally someone who can provide key insight into this crucial life skill. Thank you!
You're very welcome! Tone is so important that we must take great care to ensure it aligns with our (verbal) utterance.
Check your emotions was a powerful one for me. I am very emotional and I did not realise how it impacts tone. Thanks for sharing.
Working in customer service, I find this very helpful. Even when I get stressed, it clearly comes across at times and just using a positive and happy tone can make a not nice customer at least respect me.
My tone and delivery is often terrible and I often have no idea at all. I've been trying to get better about this. I've gotten in trouble at work because of this and this is why I question often times if I am on the spectrum...
I am sooooo the impatient one haha - bloody hell. This video was so good! 😂
Thanks Mary, I'm so lucky I get to hear all your videos.
I'm so glad you are enjoying my lessons, Sun! Great to have you in the Explearning community :)
Thanks for sharing the pearls of wisdom
My pleasure! Happy to hear you're enjoying the lessons :)
Thanks for all your content, I stumbled across your channel at the right time, you deserve way more views✌
Hi Zak~ thanks so much for this wonderful comment. So happy you're enjoying the content, more to come! One thing that can really help the channel grow is through sharing the videos :) thank you so much for being here!
Are there some videos with a male voice that cover this same topic?
Right?!...Her voice makes the voices in my head angry
Hi Mary, You have a beautiful and clear voice! Cheers, Albert from SF
You are so beautiful teacher.Thank you for teaching me about calming down when I speak
Thank you! 😃 And you are very welcome Zakithi. Glad that my lessons are helpful :)
Thanks. I really need
Hi Mary, I enjoyed watching your video. It is full of insight! Keep up the great work! Best, Albert from SF
Hi Albert! Thanks so much. Happy to hear you're enjoying the content 😊
I'm with you, Albert.
Using a part of this with my students this morning! Thank you :) :)
Awesome to hear that Vivian ! Glad it's helpful. Your students are lucky to have you as a teacher :)
What if people are still saying your tone still sound angry when your not angry.
Yes this! I always get told this even with smiling….
Try our different tones and see which has the greatest positive impact!
This is what I struggle with I’ll be happy and smiling but sound like I’m yelling
@@EllaaeonartI have the same issue! 😮
probably not tone it pitch of volume of sound and expression
Just so resonly, I was told to watch your tone . I did start off with sounding angry or maybe annoyed with people . Doesn't help when you don't realize this issue that you're having. I've picked up on habits of sounding more bored and condescending straight down bitter. i didn't realize how much i picked up on living with someone with these habits . I didn't know 5 it could do in your personal life and public life. How you come off to people need to learn to let go and move on, or seek different types of training to learn how to work on yourself. It's never too late to teach an old dog some new tricks .
Great video and channel, thank you!
So happy you enjoyed it 😊
So rather than express true emotion, hide it and speak passively in order to avoid conflict? I’m struggling with this tone stuff. I don’t have the energy to make a fake voice every time I talk to someone?
Hello, Katrina. in response to your comment, regulating your tone is not about hiding your true emotions or speaking in a "fake voice." In the video I created, I emphasized the importance of tone in effective communication. I cited Professor Albert Mehrabian's 7-38-55 rule, which highlights that 38% of communication is conveyed through tone alone.
The video suggests that when emotions run high, your tone is one of the first things to be affected. For instance, even a simple phrase like "I'm going out to buy some eggs" can carry different meanings when said in a calm tone versus an angry one. The key takeaway is to check your emotions and adopt a calm mindset before responding, to avoid being reactive.
So, it's not about masking what you feel; it's about expressing it in a way that's most likely to be well-received. A well-regulated tone can actually make your communication more effective and authentic, not less.
@@ExplearningCo how others perceive me is none of my business. Thanks for the reply
@@katrinamaile1357unfortunately that will cause you alot of problem with others. It's not about caring about their judgement is about not allowing your emotions to control you when your communicating so you can effectively get your point across while not arousing their bias or offending them when your don't mean to. Being considerate of them while trying to get them to understand you
@@ruka939 I'm sure it's already caused issues, but they're expressing their true emotions so I guess it doesn't matter 🤷🏽♀️🙄
Great video. Thank you! ☺️
You're very welcome 🤗
Im just about to stop speaking
Felt this on my soul
Same
True, but we'll make this work. We always do :)
That's how I feel I can't say anything without it coming across as a bad tone smh. So I might as well not even speak.
Me too here whenever I talk some one will take it differently
thanks for the video, it really helps
How do you control the tone with your attitude. I have moments in conversations where attitude and tone clash. It ruins my communication with a conversation.
I live your top. Do you remember where you purchased it or the brand? 🧡
i love your tone
Thank you so much!
I love all your videos. Thanks.
Fantastic! Delighted to have you in the Explearnity :) ⚡
Your voice/tone is literally beautiful.. Thank you for the video
Thank you! 😊
Great video. I'm studying to start a new job. This is very helpful.
Glad it was helpful! Best of luck :)
I have been experiencing this whole situation.....Unfortunately I have a deep voice and I happen to speak with conviction & I'm quite honest and I express compassion....I just can't see myself talking like I'm some kind of Dork..
When ever I am upset I always maintain a neutral tone. My pacing is steady but not fast and my volume doesn't fluctuate and I don't yell. I don't stand face to face but sit side by side when I express why I am upset to avoid being perceived as aggressive. I am honest and tactful yet my delivery is still perceived to be rude. Am I missing something?
Sometimes people want your responses to show sympathy or to understand their feelings. The advices given in the video are great for more formal settings where you should be neutral and moderately friendly, however, when we share the same space frequently there is a barrier in intimacy that is inevitably broken. If you act as a distant honest and tactful business partner to people who you see every day, there’s gonna be a feeling that they are being pushed away or kept at a exaggerated distance from who you really are. Maybe you could try to show a bit of your personality and see their reaction?
🌟Book a FREE private coaching call with me: calendly.com/marydaphne/private-coaching-session
Thank you, I have a speech on Monday and will be using these advices. My dad has an off putting tone and when I dish it back well...😅
yur goated thank u
i am really bad in communicating with my tone and it might sometimes cause problems but this might help me i hope so
Thank you so much this video helped me as a content creator. 🙏
I have subscribed!
You are very welcome :) Glad it helped!
You look beautiful when you put stress on some phrase just a compliment besides your valuable content.
Love your content ❤️ very helpful
Hi! So happy the content is resonating with you :) more to come ! Happy to have you in the Explearning community 😊
Nicely explained
Glad you enjoyed this lesson! More to come stay tuned 😊
Visual Auditory Kinesthetic Communication Styles To Connect With Anyone
: th-cam.com/video/WeWNl6LMda0/w-d-xo.html
I think ethnic has something to do with it too I'm Italian and we speak in different tones a lot of emotion goes into our communication and a lot of times this works against you I wondered if you had any comments
Im only speaking and get told its my tone. Im not even angry....... its how i speak. If i was angry you would know. Then get told im doing this wrong that wrong when im trying my best.i honestly try not t9 have tone
I have GREAT success not listening to tones and focusing on the message. Dyslexia I think helps me with that. No has nothing to do with my understanding of the message. If I pay attention to tone the message will be gone. So I don't
I’m watching a bunch of videos because I’m a clinical intern ,and my supervisor keeps telling me in my mock therapy sessions I come off defensive and intimidating in my responses🥴 I think I’m calm , professional and clear , but he thinks otherwise 😂 and I am so confused because he is the first to ever tell me this 🥴
Somehow I doubt that is your actual angry tone. :) I understand your meaning anyway. Good video!
When you realise that "Aaron Marino" breaks all of the rules !
hm... "how you say it" is identical with "what are your actually saying"... idea that expresses meaning includes all its connotations and nuances within it.... so again...invention of another false academic dichotomy to get your tenure but in the end all this leads academia into lala land... you can not separate "how you say it" from "what are you actually saying"... if you call someone islamophobe or racist you are ridiculing her to silence....labeling -that is the meaning there to what you are saying... You see this the very moment when you ask him to clarify the labeling... he just screams: racist, racist, racist or islamphobe, islmophobe, islamophobe... how is said it is identical with what is he saying..