Bryan Callen has killed like 12 people and he wants to confess to Rogan SO BAD because Rogan won’t accept him as an expert on violence, and he wants that approval but he knows he can’t say the one thing that would earn it.
I've worked retail before and tech support at a call center. The thought goes through my mind a lot "I wonder how many people I've cashed out or talked to have murdered someone?"
Bert would be a horrendous choice of kill buddy... can't shut up... drinks all the time... dies for social acceptance.. horrifically guilty conscience. No Bueno
Like, say a guy hits your mailbox, and you tell him, and he doesn't care. That's a perfectly reasonable murder. Or if the barista REPEATEDLY fucks up your coffee, for example. Not just once, I'm not a psycho, like, he fucks it up THREE TIMES or whatever. Or maybe just once, but he ALSO gets your name wrong. Or the coffee is fine, and the name is right, but he makes eye contact with you, and doesn't look away immediately. Some things just can't be tolerated. You know what I mean?
Tom is such a tourist. He’ll never really know the satisfaction of slowly sliding a knife into someone’s heart. Feeling the warm blood squirt out onto your face, tasting the iron in their blood and feeling immense power. Then getting to witness the fear in their eyes give way to acceptance as they realize they’ve made their last decision, taken their final breath and all they can do is make peace with it being over.
Back in 2020 during COVID, I was in a river behind my place and found a garbage bag in the water so I decided to pull it out, saving the planet and all that and saw that their was a decent size hole on the bottom and ripped it open and saw bones which I had hoped were animals and then saw fingers. I threw it in another bag and threw it in a dump.
@@zayi8153 I was dealing with a lot of issues during that summer and was mentally exhausted, didn't want to deal with anything else besides what I already had on my plate. Wasn't the right decision but it is the honest answer.
I know they’re kidding, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Murderers usually only feel remorse, unless they’re psychopathic. And there’s no bond between murderers. They usually tell on each other, given the chance.
Statistically speaking, most people who commit murder do get caught.. The ones that are getting away with it usually are seasoned killers that get better each time. Those one offs that end up Killing someone they know one day out of rage or something, are the ones that almost always get caught
@@artfuldodger96 you sound like the type of person I despise. The type of person who thinks they are better than someone because you make slightly more money when in reality there are homeless people that are likely a lot more intelligent than you.
@@artfuldodger96 but hey good for. You probably have a good job so that must mean your smarter and better than me. Good job 👍. I'd give you a pat on the back but it sounds like you've already given yourself plenty of those
I’m going to petition the fbi to create a division of “this guy’s off”. Tom? He’s just a comedian. FBI looks further and finds all the Garth Brooks fans that Tom has been bodying to frame Garth. What’s even worst, Tom didn’t have to do all that because Garth has his own bodies. It’s like all celebrities are serial killers.
Bert and Tom killed somebody a long time ago, which would explain how Tom keeps assisting Bert in his career and why Bert hasn’t stopped drinking.
We would know if they did cos bert can't keep secrets
Rogan makes you atleast hide a body to get in the jre universe. Tom is the main hit man and Bert drinks to deal with it.
@@ETAisNOWJoe Rogan the type of mf to eat the guys they killed
@@Captain_porkchop90I agree, Bert couldn't shut his mouth
Bryan Callen has killed like 12 people and he wants to confess to Rogan SO BAD because Rogan won’t accept him as an expert on violence, and he wants that approval but he knows he can’t say the one thing that would earn it.
These guys should get their own podcast together
Two sociopaths
This feels like a confession.
Cut to 10 years later, and this clip is used as evidence in court.
1:36 Tom remembering the sweet release of a job well done...
I think tom knows where the bodies are in all honesty
check his crawl spaces.. has he ordered any new luggage lately??
One HUNDRED percent
It would be hilarious seeing Garth go in heavy on Tom asking where the bodies are 😂
They both bury their friends in low places.
I don't think Garth has been questioned lately
The guy laughing in the background is hysterical 😂
I swear
Best part
These guys need their own podcast. This is so much better than Burnt
tom looked like he was reliving a kill at 1:37
And planning the next one.
He always does that
I've always suspected Tom is a secret serial killer. That his comedy tours are just a smokescreen for his real passion, if you get my meaning 😉 lol
*cough Vince Champ..
you mean the meaning that you just stated in the previous sentence?
@@hgb0005 Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
🧑🚀 🚫 🍟
@@rogerwilco1777worst gimmick a comic ever had!!!
The meaning you stated.... No.... I don't get it?
This podcast was very informative and enlightening.
Okay there seriously needs to be an investigation into Tom
I've worked retail before and tech support at a call center. The thought goes through my mind a lot "I wonder how many people I've cashed out or talked to have murdered someone?"
Christina must live in constant fear lol
She 100% helped him lmao
@@l_owkeyl_egendshe’s low key next though
@timt4715 nah she's high key an accessory
Nah if you watch this show enough, you know she's just as crazy. She might even have a higher body count than Tommy boy 😂
Good
I love that editing exists
"it does!"... " i mean i assume it does"... hahaha 🤣so suspect
Tom sounds -voice, cadence and all- just like my effing father, and that was almost exactly a convo we had years ago XD good times
I’m a water guy, I’m an aquatic guy, grew up by the beach I love it 😂😂😂
Are you guy's doing a confession from the future bit?
Oops.. i thought this was episode 6 of why Tom Segura is a serial killer...
Ladybird lake. WHERE ARE THE BODIES TOM.
'I assume.'
Sure Tom😆
1:34 that is not a face that's thinking about this for the first time...
Murder at sea, reminds me of that joke , What type of wood doesn’t float ? Natalee Wood .
Two people can keep a secret... if one of them is dead.
The most American conversation ever.
Just two murderers reminiscing. ❤️
Hey Bert,,,don't go sailing wit Tom bro,,,no matter how good he makes it sound,,don't do it!!!! Lmao.
Tom probably realized after this conversation that as close as him and Burt are he'd be a terrible kill buddy. 😂
Tom and burr would be good kill buddies
At least when Bert would inevitably tell people, no one would believe him
Bert would be a horrendous choice of kill buddy... can't shut up... drinks all the time... dies for social acceptance.. horrifically guilty conscience. No Bueno
Bret would be group texting everyone AS they are burying the body.. and the group would be like; "We know, you texted this 5mins ago"
Bert = worst kill buddy ever!!! Just turn yourself in! 😂😂
Frickn' brilliant!
Before I could even comment "sopranos style" take them out in the ocean" tom beat me to it 😂
Yo, ppl that laugh hysterically at movie theaters
Listen when they tell you who they are
Okay never go on a boat with either of these guys!
Tom seeing if him and Tim are compatible by asking what method Tim would use to kill someone 😂
Producers weren’t laughing at this one!
What you chatting. Nadav was laughing throughout like he always does, it just wasn't as pronounced. Perhaps he was further from the mic than usual.
Enjoy the watch list!
I'll say it - Tim is funnier than Bert.
Many are.
Absolutely! Tim is funnier than Rogan
By a mile
Obviously, i was pissed when bert showed up on timmys pod a few months ago
Not that controversial of a take buddy lol
Tom trying to hide his boner while talking about deading someone...
This is wild!!!😅
you have to get Garth on so you can ask these questions
1:37-Tom's dark passenger
Surprised Tom didn’t mention Garth
A good friend helps you with a couch. A great friend helps you move the body.
Tim is serious.
Tom is joking.
Team building techniques
Tom goes " ... There's TONZ of unsolved Murders ..."🤷♂
Life in the big city.
Why did Tim say “molment” like ALR?🤣
"Garth Brooks' burner account has entered the chat"
kill room..??
Ping pong .....youre dead...Heavy Breathing! Obviously you guys have the experience.!
“There’s nothing better than killing the enemy” 👨🏼🦳
Yes. Taking someone out on a boat because of the "implications." Haha.
1:37 Tom ohegio face to unalive someone with his buddy
dennis 🤘
This is how bert dies. Tom takes him out on his boat.
People just gotta be more open
Anyone else want these two to have a podcast together . We delinquents need these two.. now back to insanity ..
Where are the bodies Tom? 😂
Jesus you now have me thinking how easy it would be
I swear tom is a serial killer 😂
So then not with Bert, because he would definitely talk about it and tell strangers.
1998 Florida
Tom and Garth are secretly murderer best friends, the whole beef is just for show so no one catches on
Like, say a guy hits your mailbox, and you tell him, and he doesn't care. That's a perfectly reasonable murder. Or if the barista REPEATEDLY fucks up your coffee, for example. Not just once, I'm not a psycho, like, he fucks it up THREE TIMES or whatever. Or maybe just once, but he ALSO gets your name wrong. Or the coffee is fine, and the name is right, but he makes eye contact with you, and doesn't look away immediately. Some things just can't be tolerated. You know what I mean?
I thought Tod was going to look at Tim and say , " DUDE!! let's go kill a prostitute!! "
He reminds me of Colon Quinn so much. That’s not fair, but they sound so much alike
If you kill someone with a friend... after you have to kill the friend... double fun..
I was on a train from budapest to prague and someone jumped in front of the train. delayed us for hours, what a selfish way to kill youself.
Tom definitely started hanging out with Garth
Both these dudes sus af...
Tom is such a tourist. He’ll never really know the satisfaction of slowly sliding a knife into someone’s heart. Feeling the warm blood squirt out onto your face, tasting the iron in their blood and feeling immense power. Then getting to witness the fear in their eyes give way to acceptance as they realize they’ve made their last decision, taken their final breath and all they can do is make peace with it being over.
We see you, Garth. We know....
Unsolved boat deaths make me think of Natalie Wood.
Back in 2020 during COVID, I was in a river behind my place and found a garbage bag in the water so I decided to pull it out, saving the planet and all that and saw that their was a decent size hole on the bottom and ripped it open and saw bones which I had hoped were animals and then saw fingers. I threw it in another bag and threw it in a dump.
Why wouldn't you call the cops?
@@zayi8153 I was dealing with a lot of issues during that summer and was mentally exhausted, didn't want to deal with anything else besides what I already had on my plate. Wasn't the right decision but it is the honest answer.
Yo….call this in immediately?
Comedian would be good serial killer cover, there always moving around to different places no ties fake names.
Speaking of murder, Jeffrey, Dahmer was gay.
Happy pride month everyone!
Ah it's the incel club
I always knew Tom was killer.
Bert and Tom had a hysterical discussion about serial killing. I re-watch it a couple times a year, and cry laughing each time, still.
I mean a comedian does travel all the time, that's the easiest way to get away with murder
..thats also how Vince Champ got caught as a serial rapist..
Half this pod was done before
My divorced my wife. I can say in all honesty that decisions saved her life.
I wonder how much does Tommy misses Nadav's adoring laugh?
Out on the boat. Open water. It's the IMPLICATION
Why do u think bonny and clyde was the ultimate love story 😂
Tim Dillon somehow looks less healthy than Bert.
Fun fact: During a person's lifetime, they more then likely talked with aleast 2 serial killer's.
Try anything once.
Gee, I feel so much better now that I know I can kill.😒
I watched a stabbing while eating spaghetti. No joke.
I would watch this podcast. Tom and Bert, not so much.
I know they’re kidding, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Murderers usually only feel remorse, unless they’re psychopathic. And there’s no bond between murderers. They usually tell on each other, given the chance.
Statistically speaking, most people who commit murder do get caught.. The ones that are getting away with it usually are seasoned killers that get better each time. Those one offs that end up Killing someone they know one day out of rage or something, are the ones that almost always get caught
There are a couple of contradictions in there, Adam. 😄 I'd love to know what you do for work.
@@artfuldodger96 you sound like the type of person I despise. The type of person who thinks they are better than someone because you make slightly more money when in reality there are homeless people that are likely a lot more intelligent than you.
@@artfuldodger96 but hey good for. You probably have a good job so that must mean your smarter and better than me. Good job 👍. I'd give you a pat on the back but it sounds like you've already given yourself plenty of those
@Adam Dudley Holy
$h!t, man. You brought all the luggage with you for that. 😬
@@artfuldodger96 sure
I’m going to petition the fbi to create a division of “this guy’s off”. Tom? He’s just a comedian. FBI looks further and finds all the Garth Brooks fans that Tom has been bodying to frame Garth. What’s even worst, Tom didn’t have to do all that because Garth has his own bodies. It’s like all celebrities are serial killers.
Tom’s teeth look absolutely ridiculous 😂 🤡
Who is more likely to kill?
And I mean this in the best way possible... overweight sociopath talks about murder with obese sociopath .
Menapause ends in murder….
At this point I wouldn’t blame Tom if he killed Christina. The clock is ticking…..
My god this is so much better without brent kitchner.
Thats why i hunt duhh
Andrew Tate is a god!
Is that one dude's only job to laugh as hard as he can at anything that could be considered funny?