what really gets to me with insomnia is how lonely you feel when your going through it. It's like the majority of family, friends, and even therapists that you talk to can't relate with you, which makes you feel that there's something seriously wrong with you. I guess that's why I take so much comfort in these videos, it makes me feel a little less alone.
Absolutely it can feel so lonely and isolating! I promise you are not alone and there’s more people than you’d think also awake all around the world! This community showed me that time and time again
I so appreciate your honesty Shelby! Thank you for sharing. I also dealt with some mom guilt on my journey. Your recovery story is relatable and comforting on many levels. Grateful you shared where you are because it is an important part of this non linear natto journey most of us experience!
A few months on and I’m still on my journey! One day at a time, definitely not linear, but learning so much self compassion and gratitude. I have a list now called “things insomnia has gifted me” and it grows every day!
@@shelbwil Same here! And I also keep a list of insomnia gifts through this journey! At least we found an answer to ease our suffering even if the journey is still challenging at times! Thank you again for being so open and courageous! I found myself emotional a couple times listening to your story and how relatable it is. Hope to connect again within this community. 🩷
My insomnia struggle started postpartum with a Milk feeding problem (had to draw my Milk every 3 h day and night) and in betwwen I had 2h where I 'should' sleep. ... this was the beginning of a 12 year long struggle where I tried everything and was convinced that my neurotransmitters were damaged.....I had every possible problem relater to this, sleep jerks, terrible tinnitus from IRSS ...ans and I tried every possible remède... If I only had known that all the efforts I put in fired back on me and that nothing was physically wrong. I am so grateful for this channel. You are such a blessing in this world. I needed only to listen to your videos, and it took me not long to figure it all out and sleep very well again. Bless you!! I wished I found you earlier because I went through hell.
Jasmine, thank so much for sharing and for your support 🙏 Very happy to hear the videos lead out of the struggle 😊 and you know, thanks to support like this, more people will find us sooner. Be well always and be in touch!
Thank you for your courage Shelby, this episode is really empowering! ❤️ I am in this journey now also postpartum for 12 month, it gets better and better but really slowly. But nights with like 3 hours sleep are getting less, maybe one or two times a week. Also if I am sleeping more now, i still feel exhausted and tired from this struggle. I have a question, do you still feel exhausted and brain fog? I wonder when this gets better. I look forward to feeling refreshed but I know it takes time. I am so glad I found this channel, 10 month ago I thought it would never be possible to enjoy my life again. But I can live my life now also when I am not feeling the best but it really gets better the less attention you give to it. Over time you trust in this process. Greetings from Germany ❤️
No not really, but I dont care. I try to lay down and relax when my baby sleeps during the day, sometimes I think I napped maybe 2 minutes or something :D I think napping is the last thing that will come back for me. But thats okay, I know people without insomnia they are not able to take a nap. Are you able to take a nap?
@@Jana-cm4dw sometimes I can but majority of the time not really. I only want to get to the point where I can sleep few hours at night and I would be happy. Right now it feels impossible.
I am practicing accepting wakefulness and not expecting how many hours I will sleep. I still have fear when the time is closer to bedtime. What else should I try not to fear.
@@shelbwil thanks for your reply Shelby. I watch movies or do some relaxation. But the fear still is inside me. I need to break this. I have been trying not care sleep for two months now and fear reduced before then. But I have fear of not to sleep for 2, 3 nights per week. I don’t know how to break my fear.
You’re doing all the right things by embracing wakefulness. Have you got the timeless window going too? I found that really helpful for removing fear around what time it was each night. Taking the control away. It’s definitely not easy to let our fear be there, but if you can, embrace the fear. Let it be there, it’s okay and normal to feel like that, you don’t need to suppress it.
@@shelbwil thanks again for replying with more insightful about fear. My fear comes mostly at bed time. When you said timeless window, is it flexible bedtime or something else?
Hi Jennifer, yes my doctor wanted me to return to an SSRI, and I even got the script filled but I chose to not take it. It’s definitely still a non-linear journey for me, the anxiety is definitely there sometimes and I really try to just let it be - if it wants to be there, suppressing it doesn’t help me. It can certainly be uncomfortable, but the more you can lean into that discomfort the easier it gets to be comfortable with that discomfort. Lots and lots of self compassion and love and kindness! You are not defined by your insomnia or your anxiety, even though at times I know it can feel so heavy. Take care
I still have jerks and some nights are worse than others. When they’re more prominent I am now trying to embrace them and let them be there, it’s helped overall. I think they’ll always be there, they’re a natural part of falling asleep. It’s the hyper awareness of them that makes them more active for me!
@@shelbwil Dear Shelby, thank you so much for your immaculate, most teachable conversation with Daniel. It's sad how insomnia is classically defined as an inability to stay/fall asleep, but at the outer bounds of this definition exist such people with an outer extreme of this condition: going for days -- if not weeks -- without sleep. Shelbi, one physical symptom I've noticed about insomnia is constant bodily twitches/tremors. It's nerve-wracking. Since losing 4 days of sleep at the beginning of this year, I've developed twitches accompanying my whole body. Sometimes, now, when I have bad nights, my legs twitch excessively -- and it's scary! I remember by day 4, I physically trembled so much that I felt a raw-like feeling over my whole body -- evident of being scratched with sandpaper and beaten with a cane. (It's impossible to describe this...) Most apparent is that feeling in your forehead that the skin is peeled off. (Maybe you can relate?) Also, visual hallucinations/flickers of light appear in your periphery. Can you relate to this? To me, this is the scariest part: the effect of losing sleep. And, unlike other fears (e.g., spiders or heights), sleep fear is credible and doesn't pose an alternative for avoidance. In short, you HAVE to sleep. And if you fear it, you lose something cardinal. Looking forward to hearing from a fellow Aussie! =)
Mine started 8 weeks ago and I found this channel on day 5 of them.. it helped a lot and that's when it began to improve. It's still back and forth and anxiety still flares up at times over it. They have gone away entirely for many as I've read and talked to a lot who has experienced these.
@@conniekauffman4538when they come up, I just let them. I try not to acknowledge them too much, but I don’t wish them away or try to pretend they don’t exist. I still have jerks now almost a year into my journey, but they have improved so much, which I attribute to letting them be there, without judgment or trying to change them. Before this, I tried everything to “stop” them. You name it, I did - inositol, high doses of magnesium, curcumin, activated charcoal, threonate, l-theanine etc etc. much like sleep medications, none of this worked because there’s nothing wrong with my body, it’s just the hyper awareness of the jerks that made them worse. The first night I surrendered to them, I would’ve guessed I had over 500. It wasn’t easy, but night by night I’ve allowed them to be there more, and they’ve slowly just slipped away quietly over time. Take care😊
what really gets to me with insomnia is how lonely you feel when your going through it. It's like the majority of family, friends, and even therapists that you talk to can't relate with you, which makes you feel that there's something seriously wrong with you. I guess that's why I take so much comfort in these videos, it makes me feel a little less alone.
Absolutely it can feel so lonely and isolating! I promise you are not alone and there’s more people than you’d think also awake all around the world! This community showed me that time and time again
Hi Daniel, hope you are doing well, i sometimes come back to your channel and see you still going the good work.
Thanks for being in touch and for the support 😊🙏
I so appreciate your honesty Shelby! Thank you for sharing. I also dealt with some mom guilt on my journey. Your recovery story is relatable and comforting on many levels. Grateful you shared where you are because it is an important part of this non linear natto journey most of us experience!
A few months on and I’m still on my journey! One day at a time, definitely not linear, but learning so much self compassion and gratitude. I have a list now called “things insomnia has gifted me” and it grows every day!
Take care momma
@@shelbwil Same here! And I also keep a list of insomnia gifts through this journey! At least we found an answer to ease our suffering even if the journey is still challenging at times! Thank you again for being so open and courageous! I found myself emotional a couple times listening to your story and how relatable it is. Hope to connect again within this community. 🩷
My insomnia struggle started postpartum with a Milk feeding problem (had to draw my Milk every 3 h day and night) and in betwwen I had 2h where I 'should' sleep. ... this was the beginning of a 12 year long struggle where I tried everything and was convinced that my neurotransmitters were damaged.....I had every possible problem relater to this, sleep jerks, terrible tinnitus from IRSS ...ans and I tried every possible remède...
If I only had known that all the efforts I put in fired back on me and that nothing was physically wrong.
I am so grateful for this channel. You are such a blessing in this world. I needed only to listen to your videos, and it took me not long to figure it all out and sleep very well again.
Bless you!! I wished I found you earlier because I went through hell.
Jasmine, thank so much for sharing and for your support 🙏 Very happy to hear the videos lead out of the struggle 😊 and you know, thanks to support like this, more people will find us sooner. Be well always and be in touch!
Wonderful episode. Thanks
Thank you for your courage Shelby, this episode is really empowering! ❤️
I am in this journey now also postpartum for 12 month, it gets better and better but really slowly. But nights with like 3 hours sleep are getting less, maybe one or two times a week.
Also if I am sleeping more now, i still feel exhausted and tired from this struggle. I have a question, do you still feel exhausted and brain fog? I wonder when this gets better. I look forward to feeling refreshed but I know it takes time.
I am so glad I found this channel, 10 month ago I thought it would never be possible to enjoy my life again. But I can live my life now also when I am not feeling the best but it really gets better the less attention you give to it. Over time you trust in this process.
Greetings from Germany ❤️
How bad was your insomnia, I am also postpartum 14 months now and relying on meds. Lots of nights of 0 sleep without any meds
It was bad. 4-5 hours was a good night. Most nights 2-3 hours or zero sleep. Napping impossible. I didnt take medication.
I wish you all the best
@@Jana-cm4dw are you able to nap now?
No not really, but I dont care. I try to lay down and relax when my baby sleeps during the day, sometimes I think I napped maybe 2 minutes or something :D I think napping is the last thing that will come back for me. But thats okay, I know people without insomnia they are not able to take a nap.
Are you able to take a nap?
@@Jana-cm4dw sometimes I can but majority of the time not really. I only want to get to the point where I can sleep few hours at night and I would be happy. Right now it feels impossible.
Hey could you add this to the hypnic jerks playlist?
Done!
@@shorfan how r u doing with hypnic jerks?
I am practicing accepting wakefulness and not expecting how many hours I will sleep. I still have fear when the time is closer to bedtime. What else should I try not to fear.
What brings you joy and happiness? Can you do something that makes you feel happy before bed?
@@shelbwil thanks for your reply Shelby. I watch movies or do some relaxation. But the fear still is inside me. I need to break this. I have been trying not care sleep for two months now and fear reduced before then. But I have fear of not to sleep for 2, 3 nights per week. I don’t know how to break my fear.
You’re doing all the right things by embracing wakefulness. Have you got the timeless window going too? I found that really helpful for removing fear around what time it was each night. Taking the control away. It’s definitely not easy to let our fear be there, but if you can, embrace the fear. Let it be there, it’s okay and normal to feel like that, you don’t need to suppress it.
@@shelbwil thanks again for replying with more insightful about fear. My fear comes mostly at bed time. When you said timeless window, is it flexible bedtime or something else?
I've noticed this affects a lot of type A personalities.
Shelby in those scary months did doctors recommend antidepressants? My doctors always do and I try them for a couple weeks
How do you get over the anxiety
Hi Jennifer, yes my doctor wanted me to return to an SSRI, and I even got the script filled but I chose to not take it. It’s definitely still a non-linear journey for me, the anxiety is definitely there sometimes and I really try to just let it be - if it wants to be there, suppressing it doesn’t help me. It can certainly be uncomfortable, but the more you can lean into that discomfort the easier it gets to be comfortable with that discomfort. Lots and lots of self compassion and love and kindness! You are not defined by your insomnia or your anxiety, even though at times I know it can feel so heavy. Take care
My jerks started 3 years ago and were triggered by severe insomnia and now taking clonazepam. Will the jerks go away ?
I still have jerks and some nights are worse than others. When they’re more prominent I am now trying to embrace them and let them be there, it’s helped overall. I think they’ll always be there, they’re a natural part of falling asleep. It’s the hyper awareness of them that makes them more active for me!
@@shelbwil was there anything in particular you did to embrace them?
@@shelbwil Dear Shelby, thank you so much for your immaculate, most teachable conversation with Daniel. It's sad how insomnia is classically defined as an inability to stay/fall asleep, but at the outer bounds of this definition exist such people with an outer extreme of this condition: going for days -- if not weeks -- without sleep.
Shelbi, one physical symptom I've noticed about insomnia is constant bodily twitches/tremors. It's nerve-wracking. Since losing 4 days of sleep at the beginning of this year, I've developed twitches accompanying my whole body.
Sometimes, now, when I have bad nights, my legs twitch excessively -- and it's scary!
I remember by day 4, I physically trembled so much that I felt a raw-like feeling over my whole body -- evident of being scratched with sandpaper and beaten with a cane. (It's impossible to describe this...) Most apparent is that feeling in your forehead that the skin is peeled off. (Maybe you can relate?)
Also, visual hallucinations/flickers of light appear in your periphery.
Can you relate to this?
To me, this is the scariest part: the effect of losing sleep. And, unlike other fears (e.g., spiders or heights), sleep fear is credible and doesn't pose an alternative for avoidance. In short, you HAVE to sleep. And if you fear it, you lose something cardinal.
Looking forward to hearing from a fellow Aussie! =)
Mine started 8 weeks ago and I found this channel on day 5 of them.. it helped a lot and that's when it began to improve. It's still back and forth and anxiety still flares up at times over it. They have gone away entirely for many as I've read and talked to a lot who has experienced these.
@@conniekauffman4538when they come up, I just let them. I try not to acknowledge them too much, but I don’t wish them away or try to pretend they don’t exist. I still have jerks now almost a year into my journey, but they have improved so much, which I attribute to letting them be there, without judgment or trying to change them.
Before this, I tried everything to “stop” them. You name it, I did - inositol, high doses of magnesium, curcumin, activated charcoal, threonate, l-theanine etc etc. much like sleep medications, none of this worked because there’s nothing wrong with my body, it’s just the hyper awareness of the jerks that made them worse.
The first night I surrendered to them, I would’ve guessed I had over 500. It wasn’t easy, but night by night I’ve allowed them to be there more, and they’ve slowly just slipped away quietly over time.
Take care😊