For me the Vivaia shoes have always been just a brand the influencers show because they are paid to do so. The brand didn't pop up because people started wearing the shoes on the street, it popped up only because Vivaia started pushing the shoes on influencers. Fashion people aren't wearing those shoes, and influencers who rep the shoes aren't wearing them outside the sponsored videos. They wear the shoes in the content, cash the check and use it to buy the shoes they actually want.
I absolutely love Vivaia boots and shoes. Especially after having multiple spinal surgeries. Comfort, good quality, fashionable, sustainable and a good price. I own 5 pairs
@@sinnela5807 I have a pair of Vivaia pumps and I must say - they are the only pair of heals I reach for nowadays. They truly are THAT comfortable - for me at least. I can wear them all day and my feet won't be hurting after 10min like my other pairs.
Your feeling about white tshirts is my feeling about button down shirts. I just don’t like how I look in button down shirts- it feels like I’m playing dress up or pretending to be someone else. Every influencer says that button downs are a staple, but I have finally accepted that they aren’t for me.
Ooh this is interesting, I do love a button-down shirt but it's actually really not for "style" reasons, it's just so practical in terms of being the "right formality level" to look polished yet relaxed for my job, and also non-gendered
Something about this scratches the itch to watch these types of videos but without any temptation to buy things. I didn't expect that, and I'm grateful! A step on the path to influence recovery!
If you’re interested in embroidery, you can always spice up the white T-shirt. I’ve been doing some embroidery for mends and upcycling to make my clothes last longer in my wardrobe.
Isn’t incredible how much decluttering strengthens your power of discernment? Practicing making the decision of whether or not you want to keep something in your life teaches you so much about the things you value. I am able to listen to the small voice inside me in every aspect of my life, because I’ve had so much practice listening to it.
Pro-tip you can absolutely wash silk yourself. It just needs to be hand washed and air dried and you'll need to use detergent specifically designed for silk. but its definitely doable if thats a major conscern
I agree! I’ve been doing it for more than 10y - and I can guarantee that you could also use non-enzyme wool wash, such as Nikwax wool wash. I have used this for more than 5y on a silk setting in the washing machine / manual wash and every time they come out clean, and as new.
This is good to know! I don't love the idea of having to have silk-specific detergent, but it might be a consideration for something like concert black-wear.
I can so much relate to your regrets, especially the uncomfortable pants and shoes. But here is just a thought: the silk top can be used as an undergarment, it actually can be nice to have a silk top like that under a blouse or a sweater ... I guess it was ( in the 1920s) originally designed as an undergarment. Only in the last years people began to wear undergarments as outerwear. Which seems strange to me, but well - times are changing.
Hi Alexa, another thought provoking video 😊 I have bought items because it’s deemed to be something everyone should have in their wardrobe - animal print, oversized shirt, slip skirt, loafers and didn’t like any of them and ended up decluttering them. I’ve stayed away from looking at style videos to stop myself from being swayed in to buying something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t watched it. I have been more easily influenced in the past and feeling a lot stronger about resisting buying as I think of what I have bought in the past and don’t want to waste more money.
Absolutely and same here, when I think back, I find that I was somewhat mindlessly clicking on these videos to watch in the past, because if I stopped to think about it, did I ever need to know what the "10 style must haves for women" supposedly are? There are other things I actively DO want to learn more about, but that is not one of them.
The ”fantasy self” is good at creating scenarios in wich I will use certain items but time always tell that I will just stick to the same old things. I bought a cool vintage bag 6 months ago thinking that I would use it alot. Turns out, it’s the most annoying bag ever and I should have thought about that. And I simply prefer my other bags. But the FoMo was strong in me that day lol. I am so tired of being in the buy-resell-loop…
Summer of 2024 I thrifted a vintage purse I remember my great Grandmother having. I haven’t used it yet. Because of this channel I’ve decided for 2025 and probably beyond I’m not stepping foot inside a thrift store or Homegoods because I have everything I need! However I will be dropping donations off throughout the year as I declutter.
@ I have the same strategy as you this year. Removing oneself from the enviroments that may trigger an unnecessary purchase is key! No more purses for us😄
I'm now on my 2nd year of low buy, the first year was a total failure until about halfway through I gained a bit of ground. I am 'failing forward' as I go, which I consider to be a huge improvement considering where I started. I slipped up last week with one purchase but I am back on track again already. I am learning a lot about so much with these personal challenges and also watching your content! Thanks for your candid approach, much appreciated.
Ah yes, the "failing forward" club 😁 my first attempts were also total fails, and still not perfect but it's more important to keep going, as you know!
I think many of us made the same mistake with that Sezane blouse. I don't buy anything with ruffles or lace anymore. Never wear it. Re-sold mine on ThredUp.
I have the same blouse in vintage blue and I’m on the fence about it. It feels very formal for regular wear. And of course being dry clean only is another disadvantage..
I actually really do like the blouse, but for it to be practical for my actual life and wardrobe-needs it would have to be part of my concert black rotation 👀
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I like mine too. I wore it again this weekend under a blazer and I liked it layered like that. I think I will keep it for those more dressed up occasions. That sage green is very pretty, I would still keep yours:)
Just discovered your channel and I’ve been binge watching while doing housework - I enjoy it a lot so thanks for keeping me company with your interesting thoughts (I already didn’t buy multiple things this year due to this channel) 😊
Most silk you can hand wash at home in cold water with a splash of distilled vinegar or Eucalan delicate wash. The only concern is how it's dyed so test with a wet qtip in a easy to hide spot. You roll in between two towels to remove excess water. Then, hang dry and lightly steam if needed. I've done with vintage and new silk items and had no issues.
I came to say the comments to say this. I hand wash all dry-clean only things as well. And have never had any problems. Gentle soap and a good steaming or ironing after and it looks new again.
I also followed loads of influencers and TH-camrs telling me to buy a white tshirt for a capsule wardrobe. Honestly, worst decision ever. I bought so many and none of them worked for me. At first I thought it was an issue of cool/warm tone of white. I thought there was something wrong me with me. Then realised that no matter the tone a white Tshirt just wouldn’t work for me cause it enhances my worst features. I stick to darker or brighter colours which make me look better.
I have the tendency to buy items that I really like very much, but that are really not going to get used because of my lifestyle. I have saved one ”going out” style top in many declutters, but finally it had to go. I realized that even in the rare occasions where I would need it, I wouldn’t reach for it, as I have plenty of other nice things as well, that are more multi purpose and can be dressed up or down when needed. I feel after realizing that it’s easier to avoid buying such things in the future. I by the way am a terrible person and wash my silk shirts by hand with very mild soap, even if they are ”dry clean only” 😅 so far they are fine. I only own two, and am fine with the risk, because I am not the kind of person who goes to dry cleaner often, and don’t want to be that person either 😄
Have you heard about project 333? In 3 months you have 33 clothes in your wardrobe. I don't follow it, but the idea of seasonal wardrobe is excellent and it has helped me to reduce clothes. If I haven't use winter clothes after this winter, I probably declutter those clothes. There are some exceptions: for example I have one warm winter coat and I use it if it is very cold. If we have warmer winter, I don't use that coat, but I don't declutter it either. Because I know that next winter can be cold. I live in Finland and our winter can be harsh.
I have! I tried a capsule wardrobe (not quite down to 33 but somewhere around 40) near the beginning of last year, but did not enjoy it at the time. Might try again sometime!
I regret every fashion purchase I've ever made from Fashion channels. That's not their fault- it's absolutely mine. I bought jeans because they're a staple. I haaaate jeans. I don't wear pants why did I buy these jeans!? Lol I don't own sneakers and I sleep in t shirts, I don't wear them outside. What did I think I was going to pair these jeans with?? 😅 I simply cannot be trusted with fashion content.
I'm sooooo glad you talked about the fabric shoes. I get a lot of blisters lately and I was really considering to buy a pair for summer because they are so "soft" and therefore shouldn't blister as much. Thank you for the honest and fair report on their practicality!
The unexpected paradox for me in disregarding the male gaze is that I actually found the sweetest male partner, and was able to very filter out the most misogynistic men i encountered in life. Highly recommend it as a dating strategy 👌
Things I appreciated: you sharing with us about taking the secondhand apps off your phone. Totally understandable! They are designed to get you.... and it's not worth the distraction most of the time even if you are just managing sales. I also totally related to the silk dilemma. It's hard because finding something silk when thrifting (in person) is rare, so it can be tempting to want to keep searching for those items and purchase, but if it's not practical it's not worth it!
T-shirts. They are boxy, I am curvy. Instant mismatch before outfit or colour considerations kick in. Took me 30 years to fathom that out. Animal prints. Look better on animal than any human. Ever. Sparkly or glitter tops. They always itch. Anything black. Makes me look like death.
My list: Like mock turtle necks and they have to be long enough! No canvas shoes! Graphic tees 50% cotton 50% poly. No crop tops or capris. Thin socks or shoes don't fit. Lots of jackets ( really like having just the right coat!)
You are so wise and I hope the rational thoughts keep you going in this venture of not getting things. I think for women buying clothes is totally emotional and we can’t exclude it from the process. I have amassed Rixo silk dresses purely because they are beautiful. Totally not practical for my lifestyle with two kids and non glamorous every day life. But for some reason I cannot get rid of them. Don’t know what to do and how to make myself part with them.
Agree with all your regrets....just sold 15 pieces of clothing to Crossroads Trading and among them were two silk camisoles with the tags still on them that were in my closet for at least three years and also a very feminine ruffled blouse (not silk) that I bought second hand and never wore. If I'd had that boxy white tee like yours, that would have gone, too (like you I only like tees that are more fitted). I love graphic tees but I'll even alter those myself to be a little more fitted. Slowly but surely getting my closet downsized.
I wash my silk garments in the washing maschine, cold and hand wash programm, works perfectly! And I tend to buy them in black, so that they don't get any stains
I have this exact pair of shoes in the very same color! I like them too. The knitted hasn't bothered me much, but I'm from Florida and wouldn't be worried about them making my feet cold. As for hot, they aren't the first pair I'd pick up to walk around in the sauna that is my state. So, I really only wear them for quick lunch dates and that sort of thing. That said, had I held out a little longer, I think I would have picked a different style of red Mary Janes. My pair was an impulse purchase as well.
My aunt said the leopard print is a "classic and timeless" style, yet i would never wear it because it feels slutty lol. Or like, "ooh, I am so wild, rowr!"
I have started to dye the one or other piece, because the colour became washed out, or I didnt like the colour. Some have turned out really nice, and I now like wearing them. It only works with natural fibre though.
I had a realization that I don't ever wear dresses in my closet casually. I only wear dresses for special occasions (like 1-2x/year). Most summer days I'm at the playground/gardening and dresses don't fit that lifestyle.
I love your videos and I def love the run downs of what you regret buying or what you almost bought. When I look at things i almost bought in retrospect it looks so silly 😂😂
I bet it feels nice to let go of the insurance pieces. You have been very intentional with your wardrobe management! One area of regret is purchasing clothes that my past self loved, but not what I like to wear anymore. I bought a millenial pink sweater a year ago, and a maroon sweater also fairly recently, because I used to love these colors and had them on my mental wishlist. Well, it turns out my wishlist needs an update? Also, the shape and style of the pink sweater was very sweet - again, reminiscent of my style from 6 years ago. Another is buying clothes for the sake of looking “cool”, but either didn’t translate to looking good on me, or I felt out of place in. A fitted winter coat that I felt overly dressed in for a casual city, a sweater much like yours in this video, a cute structured top that fit way better on the model than my body type. All these were rarely worn and have been sold or decluttered!
Totally on board with the approach that clothing needs to be first and foremost functional and suitable to one's lifestyle. I also have small children but I work in a corporate job with smart casual dress code. I don't have any boxy t shirts as I find them unflattering on me. I hardly wear white because of the kids. No silk because its too high maintenance. And animal print is an absolute no go for me 😅. My wardrobe is pretty monochromatic save for a few pieces with flowery / feminine patterns. And I want to stay true to that. Its what I feel most comfortable in 😊
It's advice that I had heard a lot (that clothing should be practical and functional for our lifestyles) but for whatever reason I had such a hard time ACTUALLY FOLLOWING until I started doing the true-to-life wardrobe tracking and analyzing a bit more realistically, how much I actually need to wear certain types of clothing
I totally understand about that white T-shirt. I used to watch an influencer that endorsed that one mad hard. I looked into it but didn’t feel it was worth the price since I rarely wear white tees myself either. The flats! Omg! I just recently purchased a pair very similar in black and have yet to cut the tags. They’re cute and all but maybe not quite my actual style either. Color me influenced. Lol. I regret falling for the “lady jacket” trend. I have a couple and have worn neither. My style is more classic but probably not that “fussy.” I did like your new jeans! They fit your vibe so far as I can see. As always thanks for the nod at the end! 😊
You might like the flats! I do find that black footwear sometimes transcends style boundaries, but hey, don't let me influence whether you actually like them or not. I have long admired the"lady jacket" but fortunately didn't really buy into it - maybe the closest I got was that brown suede jacket that was decluttered last year. I just took a short trip where I brought only two pairs of pants for 5 days - those jeans were one of them, and were comfy enough to wear on the plane. Hoping it's the start of a long and beautiful relationship 😆 or to bring it back to earth (and not over-value the material), a practical and satisfying piece of clothing to have as an option in my wardrobe
I wear a white top (that ribbed one that is tight and has straps meet in the center of the back) when wearing patterned (harem) pants, so I don't mix patterns and when those pants are also partly white. Also have a T-shirt that is white but not loose and has a V-neck framed with a little bit of lace. It also goes with those pants but it's still not quite a plain white T. I remember in first grade when I had to wear a plain white T to physical education, I made my dad iron on it Power puff girls in a heart. Even then I disliked the plain 😅 I agree a plain white T is not a 'base item' for everyone
Yes!!! White Ts never worked for me either, but oh boy, did I buy some? Sure. BYW, all birds knitted shoes are very breathable, so may be it is just these shoes. Me too, slowly removed most of the silk. Still have a few skirts and dresses without sleeves and I love them, but my lifestyle is not compatible with silk blouses for sure. As you perfectly said, I do not want to be careful with my lifestyle where it’s not required. Love your comment of not replacing decluttered clothes unless necessary!! And I have no idea what is it about leopard print that does not work for me at all. But yes, same. Great video
I do have black knitted flats from allbirds that I wear for more casual concerts (performing), and those do not have the same effect. I'll still continue to wear my knitted shoes here but won't buy any more!
Your green silk shirt looks good. I have been doing decluttering ( another round) my kitchen and donated to someone who needed it right now. but my clothes. I have a few regrets. I keep those. but will not buy anything the next 20 years. we'll see.
my wardrobe and style really lost it’s way when I started listening to influencers wax poetic about the wardrobe math of formality and frequency. it’s just another way to justify shopping and acquiring things. we know how to be intuitive with our clothes, what we like and feel good in. I don’t need to think about the gaps in my wardrobe I’ll know when I come up against them. when I stopped listening to influencers I feel I have enough. I still like channels like loic prignet where they discuss more of the inspiration and history behind collections than focusing on what items have affiliate links.
I don't know why people think silk is so delicate, it's not, you can wear it and wash it by hand, it doesn't smell bad when sweating like polyester, and ages fine. Depends on the thickness and quality of the silk but for me is one of the best materials to wear. On the other hand for me is an advantage because I can buy affordable silk clothes secondhand 😂
Cupro is actually a cotton byproduct and that's why it's easily washable. I have silk things and I hand wash or delicate wash all of it and it's just fine.
Lmao the Vivaia flats 😂😂😂 it's still a pretty color tho I think the white tshirt being a "must-have" is the biggest lie. Majority of my clothes are dark, and tbh it annoys me sometimes to wash just one piece of white clothing. 😂 Also I just could never wear white comfortably as it makes me anxious, and I associate it with school or work uniforms, at least where I live. 😅 If I want to wear a t-shirt, I would just go for a BLACK one, ofc.
Clothes are such a personal experience. What we like what we feel comfortable in. Also what we can afford. So many characteristics playing out in multiple combinations! Getting an outfit right can take so many decisions! All of this is of course a first world problem! But it is still one many of us make every day!😒
Absolutely such a personal experience and a first-world problem! My "regrets" might be someone else's #1 favorite items - I always find it interesting to hear from others!
Anything “polished” is a no-buy for me. I need my clothes to be functional. I am a “yes and…” kind of person. On any given day I might do some baking, go swimming at the park, jump on my bike and hit up a bar with friends. If my clothes can’t take me from A to B without any issues, then it’s not for me. I need that cross-section between cute, comfortable, and durable.
Not everyone is a leopard print person. I love it, and it suits my bold personality. Also, the original colors look really good on my Autumn season coloring.
It is really interesting how some products don't work at all for some people and at the same time can be the best purchase to someone else, this is the case for me with those vivaia flats, I purchased them because I wanted something casual and comfy that weren't sneakers and I love them! I use them for every day and specially convenient for traveling 😁
Absolutely! Hopefully I wasn't too one-sided in what I said in this video - I actually do still like them and will continue to use them since I have them, but just wouldn't repurchase since they aren't my favorite as far as how they feel to wear and do feel like I was somewhat influenced to buy them from all the influencer posts 😅
I quite like youtube influencers, but often they all say the same things, though it's useful to see other people's opinions on what to buy, they are mostly influencing each other 🤣so admitting you made a mistake with the white t shirt is good. you've freed yourself, and it was a relatively low cost mistake. I love the green silk shirt, and probably would have bought that too, if I'd seen it, so don't feel bad. We don't want to get into a situation where we always wear the same thing, but on the other hand buying something different is always a risk. But finding the balance between the two isn't easy. So I guess no buy is a useful way of stopping and taking stock. Hope it goes well.
Absolutely! Stopping, taking stock, and also honing the ability to assess risk and choose the right things for my actual needs and likes, rather than buying whatever every influencer has been talking about recently 😅
The things I regret buying the most in my wardrobe are anything that is uncomfortable or painful. I also don't like the feel of wearing silk. I have a silk shirt I never wear that is a very dark navy with small tan nondescript canines on it. I keep it cuz who else will want it? and because I like the animals. I guess that goes with identify signals you were talking about. I also have button up with giraffes in the print for the same reason.
White T shirts are fine unless you have kids haha… I bought one but it just gets so dirty so quickly I seldom wear it. Sometimes as an under layer but nah. I totally agree white T shirts are just so boring!
Have you tried hand washing silk? It may seem scary when manufacturers claim ‘dry clean only’ but the fibre is made from the cocoons of moths…and in processing to make fabric it is washed a lot….so washing in warm water with some gentle hand wash soap/ shampoo etc does the job…..it does not have to take long either. I love to travel with silk items…they are light and you can wash in the evening and they are dry by the morning ❤
One of these days I'll finally learn that I only like feminine clothing in extremely specific circumstances... i thrifted an ankle-length pencil skirt a few years ago that i didnt wear once. and of course i didnt - it was too thin, too fitted, and too business casual, it had a slit in the back, and to top it all off it was the most boring gray possible. but i knew i wanted long skirts, and i knew it would fit me, and I knew it was five bucks, so i figured it was close enough. WRONG! the thought of wearing it made me feel a two-for-one combo of exposed and dysphoric, which is the incredibly predictable result of me dressing femme in thin fabric, so i put it on the Shame Shelf and got rid of it two years later. lesson learned: wait to find the ankle length wool skirt of your dreams in the thrift shop two months later, realize it's your holy grail item, and reverse-engineer the perfect wool skirt parameters to very slowly fill the last remaining gap in your wardrobe whilst also avoiding the fun little cocktails of bad feelings that result from your transness and your asexuality having melted together during middle school like crayons in a hot car. ✅
Haha love this so much, the hot crayons and two years on the Shame Shelf...I relate right now as far as this youtube journal being like my own personal shame shelf of sorts 😄
Ughh got burned by the white T, a boxy white T doesn’t work for me. Then I got double burned by the white button up. They just don’t fit my body or my style probably why I didn’t own either until I got influenced to get one.
Oh no, the double burn! Fortunately I actually do like button-up shirts (which I was also influenced to buy!), but more for practical reasons than for intentional style - they're the right level of formality and easy-to-care-for (and also un-gendered) which makes them very easy for work
I have a few silk shirts (short sleeve & long sleeve) that I wear for normal daily life. I wash mine in my (front loader) washing machine and put them on hangers to dry inside naturally. I’ve never had a problem.
you can wash silk i wash my Equipment silk shirt in the washing machine and it didn’t really do anything to my shirt i even “bleached “ it with peroxide because of sweat marks…. it didn’t remove all marks but it helped (its an off white silk shirt )
So this is embarrassing but I recently bought an Alo yoga matching sweat suit, the Accolade Crew Neck Pullover and Sweatpant. Almost $300 ☠️ The garment is not made from any special materials and in fact Quince makes a matching sweatsuit that’s organic fleece for MUCH less. Needless to say I am wearing the heck out of this garment which is terrible and pills and everything sticks to it. When I say it pills, I mean there are small or large black fleece balls everywhere around the house. I will never give ALO my money again! 🤦🏻♀️
Ugh, the big boxy tshirts. A paper bag would be more interesting because at least it has texture. Most sustainable brands have these very boring basics that only look good on very thin people.
The white tee thing - to me, it was taken too literal here. The point is to find a white “tee” that fits your form in a way you like. IMO, a white tank could be a “white tee”
But there are influencers all over TH-cam with lists of Best White Tees, and this one comes up a lot. Alexa was talking about being influenced to buy hers.
I get it, from a fashion perspective the "white tee" can have many forms! And yes I am a fan of a white tank, or a white button-up shirt. Or like I said here, a tighter white tee, or a graphic white tee. I think I'm just a bit jaded from seeing so many "best white tshirt" videos from creators that DO take it very literally - and compare 10 different brands of the same boxy-cut white t-shirt (maybe in slightly different weights or materials, but more or less the same basic shape).
I’ve gotta push back on the Vivaia boots and shoes. Your experience is vastly different from mine. They are one of the only boot and shoe I can wear after spinal surgery. I find them super comfortable, well made and stylish. All can be hand washed or washed on machine (shoes) I have 5 pairs and would buy more. That’s how much I love them. Also wear them with Marino will socks in winter and my feet are toasty, even as a Type 1 diabetic. I find it meets all my needs for a good price. Also like the recycled aspect and sustainability.
A white t-shirt is not a white t-shirt. The concept the plain white T stands for is a daily driver that goes well with other pieces -- so, yes, totally valid that your plain white T is actually a graphic T! My plain white T is a white bodysuit. Someone else's plain white T being more form-fitting or more silky/drapey makes sense. Or even some other colour. :)
Haha not going to the desert! But just trying to provide a review that includes maybe some possible things people don't think about, when they just like the design but maybe don't think of practical things they need. Especially with popular styles like the Dix, there is so much influencer content online that talks about how perfect the bag is, and it might be useful for people to know if they really want it to hear the opposite! I actually do prefer this brand and continue to use all of my Polenes, despite this video sharing any of the possible "issues" for someone thinking about buying.
For me the Vivaia shoes have always been just a brand the influencers show because they are paid to do so. The brand didn't pop up because people started wearing the shoes on the street, it popped up only because Vivaia started pushing the shoes on influencers. Fashion people aren't wearing those shoes, and influencers who rep the shoes aren't wearing them outside the sponsored videos. They wear the shoes in the content, cash the check and use it to buy the shoes they actually want.
I absolutely love Vivaia boots and shoes. Especially after having multiple spinal surgeries. Comfort, good quality, fashionable, sustainable and a good price. I own 5 pairs
@@sinnela5807 I have a pair of Vivaia pumps and I must say - they are the only pair of heals I reach for nowadays. They truly are THAT comfortable - for me at least. I can wear them all day and my feet won't be hurting after 10min like my other pairs.
Your feeling about white tshirts is my feeling about button down shirts. I just don’t like how I look in button down shirts- it feels like I’m playing dress up or pretending to be someone else. Every influencer says that button downs are a staple, but I have finally accepted that they aren’t for me.
Me too
Ooh this is interesting, I do love a button-down shirt but it's actually really not for "style" reasons, it's just so practical in terms of being the "right formality level" to look polished yet relaxed for my job, and also non-gendered
Something about this scratches the itch to watch these types of videos but without any temptation to buy things. I didn't expect that, and I'm grateful! A step on the path to influence recovery!
Yes! Phantom shopping with lovely spoken accompaniment! No need to feel tempted!
If you’re interested in embroidery, you can always spice up the white T-shirt. I’ve been doing some embroidery for mends and upcycling to make my clothes last longer in my wardrobe.
Isn’t incredible how much decluttering strengthens your power of discernment? Practicing making the decision of whether or not you want to keep something in your life teaches you so much about the things you value. I am able to listen to the small voice inside me in every aspect of my life, because I’ve had so much practice listening to it.
I really appreciate you omitting brands : apart from not influencing us, it makes the speech much more fluid and descriptive! Keep going!
I hope it'll become natural (at least on this channel) and maybe we can normalize it as the attitude, one tiny step at a time
Pro-tip you can absolutely wash silk yourself. It just needs to be hand washed and air dried and you'll need to use detergent specifically designed for silk. but its definitely doable if thats a major conscern
I agree! I’ve been doing it for more than 10y - and I can guarantee that you could also use non-enzyme wool wash, such as Nikwax wool wash. I have used this for more than 5y on a silk setting in the washing machine / manual wash and every time they come out clean, and as new.
Yes my washing machine also has a silk setting, and there is specific detergents for it. Works well for my silks.
This is good to know! I don't love the idea of having to have silk-specific detergent, but it might be a consideration for something like concert black-wear.
I can so much relate to your regrets, especially the uncomfortable pants and shoes. But here is just a thought: the silk top can be used as an undergarment, it actually can be nice to have a silk top like that under a blouse or a sweater ... I guess it was ( in the 1920s) originally designed as an undergarment. Only in the last years people began to wear undergarments as outerwear. Which seems strange to me, but well - times are changing.
That sweater you have on is absolutely beautiful! You always have gorgeous tops that look comfortable and are very in fashion!
Hi Alexa, another thought provoking video 😊 I have bought items because it’s deemed to be something everyone should have in their wardrobe - animal print, oversized shirt, slip skirt, loafers and didn’t like any of them and ended up decluttering them. I’ve stayed away from looking at style videos to stop myself from being swayed in to buying something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t watched it. I have been more easily influenced in the past and feeling a lot stronger about resisting buying as I think of what I have bought in the past and don’t want to waste more money.
Absolutely and same here, when I think back, I find that I was somewhat mindlessly clicking on these videos to watch in the past, because if I stopped to think about it, did I ever need to know what the "10 style must haves for women" supposedly are? There are other things I actively DO want to learn more about, but that is not one of them.
The ”fantasy self” is good at creating scenarios in wich I will use certain items but time always tell that I will just stick to the same old things. I bought a cool vintage bag 6 months ago thinking that I would use it alot. Turns out, it’s the most annoying bag ever and I should have thought about that. And I simply prefer my other bags. But the FoMo was strong in me that day lol. I am so tired of being in the buy-resell-loop…
Summer of 2024 I thrifted a vintage purse I remember my great Grandmother having. I haven’t used it yet. Because of this channel I’ve decided for 2025 and probably beyond I’m not stepping foot inside a thrift store or Homegoods because I have everything I need! However I will be dropping donations off throughout the year as I declutter.
@ I have the same strategy as you this year. Removing oneself from the enviroments that may trigger an unnecessary purchase is key! No more purses for us😄
I legit now have a "fantasy self" where I have resold everything I'm trying to declutter, and am FREE from the cycle 😅
I'm now on my 2nd year of low buy, the first year was a total failure until about halfway through I gained a bit of ground. I am 'failing forward' as I go, which I consider to be a huge improvement considering where I started. I slipped up last week with one purchase but I am back on track again already. I am learning a lot about so much with these personal challenges and also watching your content! Thanks for your candid approach, much appreciated.
Love the idea of failing forward!
@@gabystringer2056 it really, really works! :)
Ah yes, the "failing forward" club 😁 my first attempts were also total fails, and still not perfect but it's more important to keep going, as you know!
I think many of us made the same mistake with that Sezane blouse. I don't buy anything with ruffles or lace anymore. Never wear it. Re-sold mine on ThredUp.
I have the same blouse in vintage blue and I’m on the fence about it. It feels very formal for regular wear. And of course being dry clean only is another disadvantage..
I actually really do like the blouse, but for it to be practical for my actual life and wardrobe-needs it would have to be part of my concert black rotation 👀
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I like mine too. I wore it again this weekend under a blazer and I liked it layered like that. I think I will keep it for those more dressed up occasions. That sage green is very pretty, I would still keep yours:)
Just discovered your channel and I’ve been binge watching while doing housework - I enjoy it a lot so thanks for keeping me company with your interesting thoughts (I already didn’t buy multiple things this year due to this channel) 😊
the highest honor! Happy to be your housework company
Most silk you can hand wash at home in cold water with a splash of distilled vinegar or Eucalan delicate wash. The only concern is how it's dyed so test with a wet qtip in a easy to hide spot. You roll in between two towels to remove excess water. Then, hang dry and lightly steam if needed. I've done with vintage and new silk items and had no issues.
I came to say the comments to say this. I hand wash all dry-clean only things as well. And have never had any problems. Gentle soap and a good steaming or ironing after and it looks new again.
I also followed loads of influencers and TH-camrs telling me to buy a white tshirt for a capsule wardrobe. Honestly, worst decision ever. I bought so many and none of them worked for me. At first I thought it was an issue of cool/warm tone of white. I thought there was something wrong me with me. Then realised that no matter the tone a white Tshirt just wouldn’t work for me cause it enhances my worst features. I stick to darker or brighter colours which make me look better.
I have the tendency to buy items that I really like very much, but that are really not going to get used because of my lifestyle. I have saved one ”going out” style top in many declutters, but finally it had to go. I realized that even in the rare occasions where I would need it, I wouldn’t reach for it, as I have plenty of other nice things as well, that are more multi purpose and can be dressed up or down when needed. I feel after realizing that it’s easier to avoid buying such things in the future.
I by the way am a terrible person and wash my silk shirts by hand with very mild soap, even if they are ”dry clean only” 😅 so far they are fine. I only own two, and am fine with the risk, because I am not the kind of person who goes to dry cleaner often, and don’t want to be that person either 😄
Have you heard about project 333? In 3 months you have 33 clothes in your wardrobe. I don't follow it, but the idea of seasonal wardrobe is excellent and it has helped me to reduce clothes. If I haven't use winter clothes after this winter, I probably declutter those clothes. There are some exceptions: for example I have one warm winter coat and I use it if it is very cold. If we have warmer winter, I don't use that coat, but I don't declutter it either. Because I know that next winter can be cold. I live in Finland and our winter can be harsh.
I have! I tried a capsule wardrobe (not quite down to 33 but somewhere around 40) near the beginning of last year, but did not enjoy it at the time. Might try again sometime!
I regret every fashion purchase I've ever made from Fashion channels. That's not their fault- it's absolutely mine.
I bought jeans because they're a staple. I haaaate jeans. I don't wear pants why did I buy these jeans!? Lol I don't own sneakers and I sleep in t shirts, I don't wear them outside. What did I think I was going to pair these jeans with?? 😅
I simply cannot be trusted with fashion content.
Hopefully I can provide some anti-fashion fashion content to commiserate with the bad purchasing decisions 😄
I'm sooooo glad you talked about the fabric shoes. I get a lot of blisters lately and I was really considering to buy a pair for summer because they are so "soft" and therefore shouldn't blister as much. Thank you for the honest and fair report on their practicality!
I find them perfect
I have two pairs of the viviana shoes and they give me the worst blisters…
Ah, the freedom in disregarding the male gaze!
The unexpected paradox for me in disregarding the male gaze is that I actually found the sweetest male partner, and was able to very filter out the most misogynistic men i encountered in life. Highly recommend it as a dating strategy 👌
Things I appreciated: you sharing with us about taking the secondhand apps off your phone. Totally understandable! They are designed to get you.... and it's not worth the distraction most of the time even if you are just managing sales. I also totally related to the silk dilemma. It's hard because finding something silk when thrifting (in person) is rare, so it can be tempting to want to keep searching for those items and purchase, but if it's not practical it's not worth it!
T-shirts. They are boxy, I am curvy. Instant mismatch before outfit or colour considerations kick in. Took me 30 years to fathom that out.
Animal prints. Look better on animal than any human. Ever.
Sparkly or glitter tops. They always itch.
Anything black. Makes me look like death.
My list: Like mock turtle necks and they have to be long enough! No canvas shoes! Graphic tees 50% cotton 50% poly. No crop tops or capris. Thin socks or shoes don't fit. Lots of jackets ( really like having just the right coat!)
😆 my animal-printed item that I still own is blue zebra, which isn't a real animal...so maybe that's my workaround?
You are so wise and I hope the rational thoughts keep you going in this venture of not getting things. I think for women buying clothes is totally emotional and we can’t exclude it from the process. I have amassed Rixo silk dresses purely because they are beautiful. Totally not practical for my lifestyle with two kids and non glamorous every day life. But for some reason I cannot get rid of them. Don’t know what to do and how to make myself part with them.
Time might help! There are some things I've been holding onto for awhile that I'm only just getting to the point of letting go of
Agree with all your regrets....just sold 15 pieces of clothing to Crossroads Trading and among them were two silk camisoles with the tags still on them that were in my closet for at least three years and also a very feminine ruffled blouse (not silk) that I bought second hand and never wore. If I'd had that boxy white tee like yours, that would have gone, too (like you I only like tees that are more fitted). I love graphic tees but I'll even alter those myself to be a little more fitted. Slowly but surely getting my closet downsized.
I wash my silk garments in the washing maschine, cold and hand wash programm, works perfectly! And I tend to buy them in black, so that they don't get any stains
I have this exact pair of shoes in the very same color! I like them too. The knitted hasn't bothered me much, but I'm from Florida and wouldn't be worried about them making my feet cold. As for hot, they aren't the first pair I'd pick up to walk around in the sauna that is my state. So, I really only wear them for quick lunch dates and that sort of thing. That said, had I held out a little longer, I think I would have picked a different style of red Mary Janes. My pair was an impulse purchase as well.
I know we are not talking about items so please don't feel obligated to specify where it's from, but your sweater is gorgeous!
Was thinking same. Lol
it’s sezane
Was thinking the same even though the colour would crucify me
I agree
I'm happy for you that you haven't fallen into the bad habit of replacement, like you talked about with the silk, green blouse.
I may have an unfortunate update on this, but that remains to be seen 😆
@Alexas.nobuyyear well, we all make mistakes!🤣🤣🤣🤣
My aunt said the leopard print is a "classic and timeless" style, yet i would never wear it because it feels slutty lol. Or like, "ooh, I am so wild, rowr!"
😆😆😆
@@m.b.ortega544 I agree
It gives mob wife to me lol
😂
I have started to dye the one or other piece, because the colour became washed out, or I didnt like the colour. Some have turned out really nice, and I now like wearing them. It only works with natural fibre though.
I had a realization that I don't ever wear dresses in my closet casually. I only wear dresses for special occasions (like 1-2x/year). Most summer days I'm at the playground/gardening and dresses don't fit that lifestyle.
I love your videos and I def love the run downs of what you regret buying or what you almost bought. When I look at things i almost bought in retrospect it looks so silly 😂😂
I bet it feels nice to let go of the insurance pieces. You have been very intentional with your wardrobe management!
One area of regret is purchasing clothes that my past self loved, but not what I like to wear anymore. I bought a millenial pink sweater a year ago, and a maroon sweater also fairly recently, because I used to love these colors and had them on my mental wishlist. Well, it turns out my wishlist needs an update? Also, the shape and style of the pink sweater was very sweet - again, reminiscent of my style from 6 years ago.
Another is buying clothes for the sake of looking “cool”, but either didn’t translate to looking good on me, or I felt out of place in. A fitted winter coat that I felt overly dressed in for a casual city, a sweater much like yours in this video, a cute structured top that fit way better on the model than my body type.
All these were rarely worn and have been sold or decluttered!
Totally on board with the approach that clothing needs to be first and foremost functional and suitable to one's lifestyle. I also have small children but I work in a corporate job with smart casual dress code. I don't have any boxy t shirts as I find them unflattering on me. I hardly wear white because of the kids. No silk because its too high maintenance. And animal print is an absolute no go for me 😅. My wardrobe is pretty monochromatic save for a few pieces with flowery / feminine patterns. And I want to stay true to that. Its what I feel most comfortable in 😊
It's advice that I had heard a lot (that clothing should be practical and functional for our lifestyles) but for whatever reason I had such a hard time ACTUALLY FOLLOWING until I started doing the true-to-life wardrobe tracking and analyzing a bit more realistically, how much I actually need to wear certain types of clothing
I totally understand about that white T-shirt. I used to watch an influencer that endorsed that one mad hard. I looked into it but didn’t feel it was worth the price since I rarely wear white tees myself either. The flats! Omg! I just recently purchased a pair very similar in black and have yet to cut the tags. They’re cute and all but maybe not quite my actual style either. Color me influenced. Lol. I regret falling for the “lady jacket” trend. I have a couple and have worn neither. My style is more classic but probably not that “fussy.” I did like your new jeans! They fit your vibe so far as I can see. As always thanks for the nod at the end! 😊
You might like the flats! I do find that black footwear sometimes transcends style boundaries, but hey, don't let me influence whether you actually like them or not.
I have long admired the"lady jacket" but fortunately didn't really buy into it - maybe the closest I got was that brown suede jacket that was decluttered last year.
I just took a short trip where I brought only two pairs of pants for 5 days - those jeans were one of them, and were comfy enough to wear on the plane. Hoping it's the start of a long and beautiful relationship 😆 or to bring it back to earth (and not over-value the material), a practical and satisfying piece of clothing to have as an option in my wardrobe
@Alexas.nobuyyear Here's to both of us making good purchases! 😄
I wear a white top (that ribbed one that is tight and has straps meet in the center of the back) when wearing patterned (harem) pants, so I don't mix patterns and when those pants are also partly white. Also have a T-shirt that is white but not loose and has a V-neck framed with a little bit of lace. It also goes with those pants but it's still not quite a plain white T. I remember in first grade when I had to wear a plain white T to physical education, I made my dad iron on it Power puff girls in a heart. Even then I disliked the plain 😅 I agree a plain white T is not a 'base item' for everyone
I bought the exact same shirt and donated it for the exact reasons you've shared. It's impractical 🤷♀️
Yes!!! White Ts never worked for me either, but oh boy, did I buy some? Sure. BYW, all birds knitted shoes are very breathable, so may be it is just these shoes. Me too, slowly removed most of the silk. Still have a few skirts and dresses without sleeves and I love them, but my lifestyle is not compatible with silk blouses for sure. As you perfectly said, I do not want to be careful with my lifestyle where it’s not required.
Love your comment of not replacing decluttered clothes unless necessary!!
And I have no idea what is it about leopard print that does not work for me at all. But yes, same.
Great video
I do have black knitted flats from allbirds that I wear for more casual concerts (performing), and those do not have the same effect. I'll still continue to wear my knitted shoes here but won't buy any more!
Your green silk shirt looks good.
I have been doing decluttering ( another round) my kitchen and donated to someone who needed it right now. but my clothes. I have a few regrets. I keep those. but will not buy anything the next 20 years. we'll see.
my wardrobe and style really lost it’s way when I started listening to influencers wax poetic about the wardrobe math of formality and frequency. it’s just another way to justify shopping and acquiring things. we know how to be intuitive with our clothes, what we like and feel good in. I don’t need to think about the gaps in my wardrobe I’ll know when I come up against them. when I stopped listening to influencers I feel I have enough. I still like channels like loic prignet where they discuss more of the inspiration and history behind collections than focusing on what items have affiliate links.
I feel this a lot! We didn't used to have to justify so much or collect so much "data" until influencers came on the scene
I don't know why people think silk is so delicate, it's not, you can wear it and wash it by hand, it doesn't smell bad when sweating like polyester, and ages fine. Depends on the thickness and quality of the silk but for me is one of the best materials to wear. On the other hand for me is an advantage because I can buy affordable silk clothes secondhand 😂
Yeah, I hand wash all my silks. My “durability” issue with silk is that I have cats. Their little claws get in and cause snags 😢
My problem with my silk pieces is that I'm scared to iron them! And they get so wrinkly 😮
Agree! And that particular blouse can actually be thrown in the machine on delicate in a washbag and comes out perfect!
Thank you for this! I guess some of us have "absorbed" the idea that silk is delicate and hard to take care of!
Cupro is actually a cotton byproduct and that's why it's easily washable. I have silk things and I hand wash or delicate wash all of it and it's just fine.
Lmao the Vivaia flats 😂😂😂 it's still a pretty color tho
I think the white tshirt being a "must-have" is the biggest lie. Majority of my clothes are dark, and tbh it annoys me sometimes to wash just one piece of white clothing. 😂 Also I just could never wear white comfortably as it makes me anxious, and I associate it with school or work uniforms, at least where I live. 😅 If I want to wear a t-shirt, I would just go for a BLACK one, ofc.
I also prefer a black t-shirt, but similarly don't prefer the boxy cut, either graphic or form-fitted I guess are my preferred versions!
I love your content! I am a (very) small creator and I love finding other small-ish channels 🥰
I love the silk shirt and blouse 😊 I am a more feminine style I realize so more dresses and skirt dresser.
Clothes are such a personal experience. What we like what we feel comfortable in. Also what we can afford. So many characteristics playing out in multiple combinations! Getting an outfit right can take so many decisions! All of this is of course a first world problem! But it is still one many of us make every day!😒
Absolutely such a personal experience and a first-world problem! My "regrets" might be someone else's #1 favorite items - I always find it interesting to hear from others!
Anything “polished” is a no-buy for me. I need my clothes to be functional. I am a “yes and…” kind of person. On any given day I might do some baking, go swimming at the park, jump on my bike and hit up a bar with friends. If my clothes can’t take me from A to B without any issues, then it’s not for me. I need that cross-section between cute, comfortable, and durable.
Not everyone is a leopard print person. I love it, and it suits my bold personality. Also, the original colors look really good on my Autumn season coloring.
I do think it looks great on the people who love it!
Over one million views on the channel! We are hooked! 😍
White is not a good colour for me in a t-shirt or button down. Also attracts dirt/stains in a thoroughly impractical way.
It is really interesting how some products don't work at all for some people and at the same time can be the best purchase to someone else, this is the case for me with those vivaia flats, I purchased them because I wanted something casual and comfy that weren't sneakers and I love them! I use them for every day and specially convenient for traveling 😁
Absolutely! Hopefully I wasn't too one-sided in what I said in this video - I actually do still like them and will continue to use them since I have them, but just wouldn't repurchase since they aren't my favorite as far as how they feel to wear and do feel like I was somewhat influenced to buy them from all the influencer posts 😅
I quite like youtube influencers, but often they all say the same things, though it's useful to see other people's opinions on what to buy, they are mostly influencing each other 🤣so admitting you made a mistake with the white t shirt is good. you've freed yourself, and it was a relatively low cost mistake. I love the green silk shirt, and probably would have bought that too, if I'd seen it, so don't feel bad. We don't want to get into a situation where we always wear the same thing, but on the other hand buying something different is always a risk. But finding the balance between the two isn't easy. So I guess no buy is a useful way of stopping and taking stock. Hope it goes well.
Absolutely! Stopping, taking stock, and also honing the ability to assess risk and choose the right things for my actual needs and likes, rather than buying whatever every influencer has been talking about recently 😅
The things I regret buying the most in my wardrobe are anything that is uncomfortable or painful. I also don't like the feel of wearing silk. I have a silk shirt I never wear that is a very dark navy with small tan nondescript canines on it. I keep it cuz who else will want it? and because I like the animals. I guess that goes with identify signals you were talking about. I also have button up with giraffes in the print for the same reason.
That sounds like a shirt that I would think a LOT of people would want, actually!
White T shirts are fine unless you have kids haha… I bought one but it just gets so dirty so quickly I seldom wear it. Sometimes as an under layer but nah. I totally agree white T shirts are just so boring!
Have you tried hand washing silk? It may seem scary when manufacturers claim ‘dry clean only’ but the fibre is made from the cocoons of moths…and in processing to make fabric it is washed a lot….so washing in warm water with some gentle hand wash soap/ shampoo etc does the job…..it does not have to take long either. I love to travel with silk items…they are light and you can wash in the evening and they are dry by the morning ❤
One of these days I'll finally learn that I only like feminine clothing in extremely specific circumstances... i thrifted an ankle-length pencil skirt a few years ago that i didnt wear once. and of course i didnt - it was too thin, too fitted, and too business casual, it had a slit in the back, and to top it all off it was the most boring gray possible. but i knew i wanted long skirts, and i knew it would fit me, and I knew it was five bucks, so i figured it was close enough.
WRONG! the thought of wearing it made me feel a two-for-one combo of exposed and dysphoric, which is the incredibly predictable result of me dressing femme in thin fabric, so i put it on the Shame Shelf and got rid of it two years later. lesson learned: wait to find the ankle length wool skirt of your dreams in the thrift shop two months later, realize it's your holy grail item, and reverse-engineer the perfect wool skirt parameters to very slowly fill the last remaining gap in your wardrobe whilst also avoiding the fun little cocktails of bad feelings that result from your transness and your asexuality having melted together during middle school like crayons in a hot car. ✅
Haha love this so much, the hot crayons and two years on the Shame Shelf...I relate right now as far as this youtube journal being like my own personal shame shelf of sorts 😄
Ughh got burned by the white T, a boxy white T doesn’t work for me. Then I got double burned by the white button up. They just don’t fit my body or my style probably why I didn’t own either until I got influenced to get one.
Oh no, the double burn!
Fortunately I actually do like button-up shirts (which I was also influenced to buy!), but more for practical reasons than for intentional style - they're the right level of formality and easy-to-care-for (and also un-gendered) which makes them very easy for work
I have a few silk shirts (short sleeve & long sleeve) that I wear for normal daily life. I wash mine in my (front loader) washing machine and put them on hangers to dry inside naturally. I’ve never had a problem.
rule of 10.... 10 tops, 10 trousers, 10 footwear... this is me atm
you can wash silk i wash my Equipment silk shirt in the washing machine and it didn’t really do anything to my shirt i even “bleached “ it with peroxide because of sweat marks…. it didn’t remove all marks but it helped (its an off white silk shirt )
So this is embarrassing but I recently bought an Alo yoga matching sweat suit, the Accolade Crew Neck Pullover and Sweatpant. Almost $300 ☠️ The garment is not made from any special materials and in fact Quince makes a matching sweatsuit that’s organic fleece for MUCH less. Needless to say I am wearing the heck out of this garment which is terrible and pills and everything sticks to it. When I say it pills, I mean there are small or large black fleece balls everywhere around the house. I will never give ALO my money again! 🤦🏻♀️
I had an extremely similar experience a few years ago with a sweat suit that was $300 as well, and have learned to never do that again 🫣
Ugh, the big boxy tshirts. A paper bag would be more interesting because at least it has texture. Most sustainable brands have these very boring basics that only look good on very thin people.
❤
I would love to take the silk shirt off your hands if you resell it!!! Just give me the link!
Seeing if a friend in-real-life is interested in it, otherwise it'll probably end up on Mercari 😁
The white tee thing - to me, it was taken too literal here. The point is to find a white “tee” that fits your form in a way you like. IMO, a white tank could be a “white tee”
But there are influencers all over TH-cam with lists of Best White Tees, and this one comes up a lot. Alexa was talking about being influenced to buy hers.
I get it, from a fashion perspective the "white tee" can have many forms! And yes I am a fan of a white tank, or a white button-up shirt. Or like I said here, a tighter white tee, or a graphic white tee.
I think I'm just a bit jaded from seeing so many "best white tshirt" videos from creators that DO take it very literally - and compare 10 different brands of the same boxy-cut white t-shirt (maybe in slightly different weights or materials, but more or less the same basic shape).
I’ve gotta push back on the Vivaia boots and shoes. Your experience is vastly different from mine. They are one of the only boot and shoe I can wear after spinal surgery. I find them super comfortable, well made and stylish. All can be hand washed or washed on machine (shoes) I have 5 pairs and would buy more. That’s how much I love them. Also wear them with Marino will socks in winter and my feet are toasty, even as a Type 1 diabetic. I find it meets all my needs for a good price. Also like the recycled aspect and sustainability.
Glad they work for you! Definitely not trying to say that these things won't work for everyone, and there are aspects I do still like about them too.
A white t-shirt is not a white t-shirt. The concept the plain white T stands for is a daily driver that goes well with other pieces -- so, yes, totally valid that your plain white T is actually a graphic T! My plain white T is a white bodysuit. Someone else's plain white T being more form-fitting or more silky/drapey makes sense. Or even some other colour. :)
Haha not going to the desert! But just trying to provide a review that includes maybe some possible things people don't think about, when they just like the design but maybe don't think of practical things they need. Especially with popular styles like the Dix, there is so much influencer content online that talks about how perfect the bag is, and it might be useful for people to know if they really want it to hear the opposite!
I actually do prefer this brand and continue to use all of my Polenes, despite this video sharing any of the possible "issues" for someone thinking about buying.