NEVER move in with a man before marriage, always keep yourself up with or without a man, and NEVER invest or contribute financially with a man that is not your husband.
I definitely agree! Tbh growing up conservative my parents always pushed this idea from the religious standpoint but also even if you were to look at it in general it just makes sense! I’m keeping my own space until I gotta get rid of it lmao period
Wow. I distinctly remember being in a relationship at 24, my then Boyfriend worked nights at the warehouse. I distinctly remember being over at his place watching movies with him the entire time and thinking oh this is great. The next day I seriously asked myself … why are you excited about WATCHING MOVIES???? That’s the ONLY thing you guys do.. why you excited about basic???! That ain’t even basic!!!??!.. Ever since then, I been quick to say No to any man that says he like being indoors or don’t like adventure.
You give the best advice I’m 35 and I would have told her the EXACT SAME THING!!!!! What you said about turning 30 is so true. I look better, reached my dream Director role, and live in my dean neighborhood. I get better treatment now than I did at25
Firmness is the issue here. State what the issue is and don’t shrink and soothe him and coddle him. If he’s not improving or not trying enough leave. It will hurt but so will a life with someone not giving you what you want.
She used to like going out, and made his comments stop her from doing so...just for him to still not spend enough time with her. You're still your own person, love. So long as you're not cheating or engaging in behaviors you wouldn't like him engaging in, enjoy your youth and go out when you want. ❤
If I could’ve heard this in my twenties. I gave my twenties to an undeserving man. I just hit 30 in June and realized that I’ve wasted my life on someone I should’ve ran from. I had every warning red flag and chance to not waste my youth. Now just like she said regretting decision I’ve made. Now I’m work overtime to pick up the pieces of my life.
Listening to the way both you women speak I saw myself in both perspectives. My first “serious” relationship was with a man who was 21 going on 22 and I was 23 going on 24. When I say how naive and ignorant I was back then-I could write a book. Our “dates” was me being at his place before or after work (I was in vet medicine and he was a maintenance worker) and he would be playing his game and talking to his friends. I would ask for us to go out/do something and everything was troublesome for him. We went to get fast food 2 miles away and he complained the entire time spending gas money and it being too far and how he could’ve ordered Uber eats or door dash. My naive self didn’t know any better. I started offering to pay and drive. I didn’t mention we were long distance. I was driving from my hometown of 45 minutes away to him and he wouldn’t even drive 10 minutes for us to get food together. I allowed him to keep me at his house watching him play the game. I’d come over for the weekend and that’s all we’d do. Girl, I truly thought this was it. Deep down my soul kept feeling disgusted though, like I was missing out, like this wasn’t enough or fulfilling. We would also be intimate and here’s where it got worse. He would ask me to go home at specific times every time. Broad daylight on a Saturday, good day left, he’s asking me to leave by 2pm so he could spend time with his friends on the game. I give myself so much grace for not knowing back then how much time I would go onto waste with a nothing ass man. In order to feel “valued” I started cleaning his room, washing his and his roommate dishes and even buying some groceries for them since they didn’t even have freaking bread, eggs or milk in their house almost ever. I thought this is what women did. Shack up and play mommy/wife to a grown boy. 3 years later, I’m 26 and happily single and thriving in my career. Never again will I settle like that…wasted so much of my time/youth with someone who went on to drain, emotionally and verbally abuse me and also kept me financially lacking since I was supporting us both and he was stingy! The lessons I have learneddddd, baby. Let me tell you. Enjoy these years. You will never, ever get them back. And he doesn’t care that you’re wasting them on him. Not once during this conversation did it sound like you both even remotely have a friendship. Keep your head high, love. Make room for better, you will not regret it. Don’t ignore that nagging feeling that Ash mentioned. You know you not supposed to be there. Make your plans strategically from here. 3 years from now you could be in real estate, medical assistant, business consultant, etc..or 3 years from now you could be sitting up in that house, watching him play games, and your life is passing you by… It’s your choice. You hold the power to your life.
Awe I could feel that Ashley felt strongly about this situation. I’m in my mid twenties and as my friends are starting to get into more serious relationships I’ve definitely seen this scenario before. I’ve gone through it in the past as well. In order to have a healthy relationship and keep your mental health in check you have to have a life outside of the relationship. It’s okay wanting to spend alot of time with your partner but you have to maintain the relationships you’ve had before them as well. Never lose yourself!!
I don’t care what age you are. There is no time limit to figuring out when somebody isn’t giving you what you want you should never give anybody a pass no more than two times depending on the situation because if you give them a pass, they get comfortable and they think they can do other things to you. It’s not about being arrogant and too high yourself. It’s about respect if someone doesn’t have the bare minimum Amount to respect you how are gonna push the finger on someone when you weren’t doing it all along
Ok so he not paying for everything, But host didn’t ask if she could afford to live on her own. I would venture to guess she couldn’t judging by her age. Its one thing to tear the young man down cause he ain’t paying all the bills, but why do we assume the young woman could pay all the bills? They likely need each other financially and its not as simple as leaving him.
Some of the advice is right but there is too much bad advice. Keeping him on his toes is manipulation. B yourself not keeping someone on your toes. The host is a feminist & is giving feminist womenist gynocratic misandtrist mindset. The young lady should have never came on to social media to ask for help. She should have only went to her mother. These make up queens just keep giving horrible advice. Body count goes up
Not everyone has mothers to ask advice. Some peoples mothers die you know that right? At least she is asking for help and that will help her grow up instead of thinking she know everything at that age.
@@Youwish34 This reply is give "making exscuses for behavior". Their is always somewhere where she could get real sound advice. Before social media people gave real good advice. Now with social media the platform just keeps on giving horrible advice
@@amandlaawethu1538 social media is somewhere. Hello it’s 2023, we not in the 1800s where you are from probably. Do you suggest we get rid of Amazon too? What are these places you talking about anyways? Since you want to be so helpful😊. Enlighten us there is probably a young lady in her position that would like to know as well. Also a parent dying is not “excusing behavior” wtf. It’s real life. Tf is wrong with you seriously. But enlighten us, on these places to get great advice from.
Your advice... is on social media is it not? So good and bad advice can be found in an array of spaces. This girl is trying to do right and will eventually land on right because she is trying.
NEVER move in with a man before marriage, always keep yourself up with or without a man, and NEVER invest or contribute financially with a man that is not your husband.
I actually had to end a relationship with a man who just couldn't understand why I didn't want to stay with him before marriage.
Amen!
That last part ❤
True
I definitely agree! Tbh growing up conservative my parents always pushed this idea from the religious standpoint but also even if you were to look at it in general it just makes sense! I’m keeping my own space until I gotta get rid of it lmao period
Wow. I distinctly remember being in a relationship at 24, my then Boyfriend worked nights at the warehouse. I distinctly remember being over at his place watching movies with him the entire time and thinking oh this is great. The next day I seriously asked myself … why are you excited about WATCHING MOVIES???? That’s the ONLY thing you guys do.. why you excited about basic???! That ain’t even basic!!!??!.. Ever since then, I been quick to say No to any man that says he like being indoors or don’t like adventure.
You give the best advice I’m 35 and I would have told her the EXACT SAME THING!!!!! What you said about turning 30 is so true. I look better, reached my dream Director role, and live in my dean neighborhood. I get better treatment now than I did at25
Firmness is the issue here. State what the issue is and don’t shrink and soothe him and coddle him.
If he’s not improving or not trying enough leave. It will hurt but so will a life with someone not giving you what you want.
She used to like going out, and made his comments stop her from doing so...just for him to still not spend enough time with her.
You're still your own person, love. So long as you're not cheating or engaging in behaviors you wouldn't like him engaging in, enjoy your youth and go out when you want. ❤
29 and needed this advice. This is life saving stuff.
If I could’ve heard this in my twenties. I gave my twenties to an undeserving man. I just hit 30 in June and realized that I’ve wasted my life on someone I should’ve ran from. I had every warning red flag and chance to not waste my youth. Now just like she said regretting decision I’ve made. Now I’m work overtime to pick up the pieces of my life.
Your still young, there is life ahead of you !
Good on you for learning this at 30. At 40 the bounce back is different. Stay focused. Keep your options open
Same sis. You are not alone. I am trying to live a long life to make up for it.
Listening to the way both you women speak I saw myself in both perspectives.
My first “serious” relationship was with a man who was 21 going on 22 and I was 23 going on 24. When I say how naive and ignorant I was back then-I could write a book. Our “dates” was me being at his place before or after work (I was in vet medicine and he was a maintenance worker) and he would be playing his game and talking to his friends. I would ask for us to go out/do something and everything was troublesome for him. We went to get fast food 2 miles away and he complained the entire time spending gas money and it being too far and how he could’ve ordered Uber eats or door dash. My naive self didn’t know any better. I started offering to pay and drive. I didn’t mention we were long distance. I was driving from my hometown of 45 minutes away to him and he wouldn’t even drive 10 minutes for us to get food together. I allowed him to keep me at his house watching him play the game. I’d come over for the weekend and that’s all we’d do. Girl, I truly thought this was it. Deep down my soul kept feeling disgusted though, like I was missing out, like this wasn’t enough or fulfilling. We would also be intimate and here’s where it got worse. He would ask me to go home at specific times every time. Broad daylight on a Saturday, good day left, he’s asking me to leave by 2pm so he could spend time with his friends on the game.
I give myself so much grace for not knowing back then how much time I would go onto waste with a nothing ass man. In order to feel “valued” I started cleaning his room, washing his and his roommate dishes and even buying some groceries for them since they didn’t even have freaking bread, eggs or milk in their house almost ever. I thought this is what women did. Shack up and play mommy/wife to a grown boy.
3 years later, I’m 26 and happily single and thriving in my career. Never again will I settle like that…wasted so much of my time/youth with someone who went on to drain, emotionally and verbally abuse me and also kept me financially lacking since I was supporting us both and he was stingy!
The lessons I have learneddddd, baby. Let me tell you. Enjoy these years. You will never, ever get them back. And he doesn’t care that you’re wasting them on him. Not once during this conversation did it sound like you both even remotely have a friendship.
Keep your head high, love. Make room for better, you will not regret it. Don’t ignore that nagging feeling that Ash mentioned. You know you not supposed to be there. Make your plans strategically from here. 3 years from now you could be in real estate, medical assistant, business consultant, etc..or 3 years from now you could be sitting up in that house, watching him play games, and your life is passing you by…
It’s your choice. You hold the power to your life.
Who tf gonna read all this? 😂😂
@@MrTwonetwone Not you, apparently? Thanks for taking the time to comment about not reading it, though. Weirdo.
Damn sorry to hear that was he white?
@@Jamaljj Thank you..also no, he was black and Puerto Rican
Omg that Judge Lynn Toler clip at the end! It's one of my favorite clips. Amazing advice, Ashley!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Awe I could feel that Ashley felt strongly about this situation. I’m in my mid twenties and as my friends are starting to get into more serious relationships I’ve definitely seen this scenario before. I’ve gone through it in the past as well. In order to have a healthy relationship and keep your mental health in check you have to have a life outside of the relationship. It’s okay wanting to spend alot of time with your partner but you have to maintain the relationships you’ve had before them as well. Never lose yourself!!
Great advice! I hope she takes heed and doesn’t waste more time waiting for this young man. Be happy!
👏🏽👏🏽 Yesss,,, your feeding her and us great advice! We are so set in our great great grandmother ways, which is ancestral trauma!
You're in your early 20s and he's just a boyfriend. You're wasting your time. Move on and date.
Side note: dating is not sex
💯
She knows what she needs to do
Ashley, you gave her some great advice!
Awe she needed you … it was great advice … I even took some tidbits ❤❤
I was in this same situation and the dude ended up breaking up with me day after Valentine’s Day lol
She’s naive and unserious, she gotta a lot of life to learn.
Just found your channel. Love your message! Subscribed
I don’t care what age you are. There is no time limit to figuring out when somebody isn’t giving you what you want you should never give anybody a pass no more than two times depending on the situation because if you give them a pass, they get comfortable and they think they can do other things to you. It’s not about being arrogant and too high yourself. It’s about respect if someone doesn’t have the bare minimum Amount to respect you how are gonna push the finger on someone when you weren’t doing it all along
This is a reason why young women should date a man who’s older at least by 7 years. Women mature faster than men.
I should have been a hoe at 20 😭😂
🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️ Please don’t promote 304 behavior.
Why is a 23 year old guy living with a girlfriend?
Dude should be out and about--not hooked up to a ball and chain.
Vice versa
Let him go girl!!
Great advice but she not gonna leave him her confidence too low. She was single for two years before him
I feel like some things she’s being told are bad advice.
CMON SOMBODDYYY!!!!
Ok so he not paying for everything, But host didn’t ask if she could afford to live on her own. I would venture to guess she couldn’t judging by her age. Its one thing to tear the young man down cause he ain’t paying all the bills, but why do we assume the young woman could pay all the bills? They likely need each other financially and its not as simple as leaving him.
get a roommate
❤❤❤
Are you single? Do you have kids?
"PromoSM" 🤗
Women like you are the reason majority single . On to the next is Always your solution
You literally have too. In your 20’s especially early 20’s our brains aren’t fully developed so the best thing to do is be single
You guys refuse to listen. Why is it so easy for y'all to👂to this trash. If the boys don't know better. Do y'all think the older women know, 🤔
Some of the advice is right but there is too much bad advice. Keeping him on his toes is manipulation. B yourself not keeping someone on your toes. The host is a feminist & is giving feminist womenist gynocratic misandtrist mindset. The young lady should have never came on to social media to ask for help. She should have only went to her mother. These make up queens just keep giving horrible advice. Body count goes up
Not everyone has mothers to ask advice. Some peoples mothers die you know that right? At least she is asking for help and that will help her grow up instead of thinking she know everything at that age.
@@Youwish34 This reply is give "making exscuses for behavior". Their is always somewhere where she could get real sound advice. Before social media people gave real good advice. Now with social media the platform just keeps on giving horrible advice
@@amandlaawethu1538 social media is somewhere. Hello it’s 2023, we not in the 1800s where you are from probably. Do you suggest we get rid of Amazon too? What are these places you talking about anyways? Since you want to be so helpful😊. Enlighten us there is probably a young lady in her position that would like to know as well. Also a parent dying is not “excusing behavior” wtf. It’s real life. Tf is wrong with you seriously. But enlighten us, on these places to get great advice from.
Your advice... is on social media is it not? So good and bad advice can be found in an array of spaces. This girl is trying to do right and will eventually land on right because she is trying.
Really really needed to hear this. Thanks again ash. Just turned 20 in april. This is my time !!!🧚♀️🫶🏽✨💖