Dialogue should NOT sound robotic and stiff. I remember writing my first story four years back- it was called "Dark Trails". I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the dialogue was _crap_. Learning how to write lines for characters that sounded like something even _I_ would say was definitely not an overnight process. It has to have flow to it. It needs to sound _realistic_, basically. Also, don't be afraid of adding in profanity, because it increases authenticity (don't overdo it, it loses it's effectiveness if it's too frequent). I used to write lines like this: *_"Do you remember the time a long time ago where you used to be a jerk to me? It seems as though you have changed, huh?"_* That sounds...stiff. But if I fixed that, it would sound like *_"You remember how much an ass you were to me? All those years ago? Let's just say it's nice to see you NOT be an ass for once."_*
I recently looked back on a story I wrote 6 years ago and oh boy, the dialogue was SHIT. It made me want to go back in time and slap myself in the face for even remotely believing that that was the kind of thing a real person would say.
@@spencerokeefe438 what helped your dialogue improve the most? I'm trying to get better at mine so I don't read back and cringe at it like you did haha
@@Ari-ih5un Basically, I just kept reading. Everything from fanfiction written by horny teenagers to popular professionally published work. The former gave me a good idea of what to avoid and showed me how bad this stuff looks when actually written down. The latter showed me what to strive for, showing me how good dialogue actually fits together and allowing me to recognize where the bad dialogue I'd seen fell short. I also wrote reviews for a bunch of those stories because that allowed me to dissect the reason why I did or didn't like what I was seeing and apply that to my own work. If you want a faster method, though, I'd recommend using writing prompts or just writing as often as possible. Like all activities, the more you practice the better you'll become. With dialogue specifically you can try writing it down and then reciting the conversation out loud, preferably with a friend who can act as one of the characters (and give you feedback). If it sounds unnatural when spoken out loud, chances are it sounds unnatural on paper.
@@spencerokeefe438 Thank you for replying, that's some great advice. I'll certainly try out those methods. Have you written/are you writing a book? It seems you know a lot on the subject ^ I'm in the process of one and it's not an easy feat. I think my dialogue could improve...the goal is for each character to have a distinct voice, where you hardly need dialogue tags at times. Do you think people who socialize more would write better dialogue (having a lot of input of conversations/different types of people)? I wonder about that, because I'm introverted and don't get much of that input. Maybe movies would be an equivalent of socializing. Though books with well-written dialogue the best of course. Also do you have any book recommendations with realistic sounding dialogue? Genre doesn't matter, I just want to study the conversations ^^ I know this is a lot of questions but I have no writer friends in real life haha. Thanks for responding
Your comment brings back a few memories of my 5th grade teacher making up a song about how "Said was Dead" and it got ran over by a car or something like that I have no idea. Good times. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Hahaha, I used to do the "hey Mary," "Hey Bob." "How have you been, Mary?" "Pretty good, Bob. Pretty good." In hindsight, on top of how awkward it sounds, it also seems kinda passive aggressive? Or just vaguely unpleasant overall. Which is definitely not the type of tone I was going for 99% of the time :P
+Rebeca A. ha ha ha that's true about it being slightly passive aggressive. But uh, yeah, the name overuse thing is...a painfully common error that I'm sure I totally made when I first started writing. >.
I mean maybe if that's how they naturally speak (like say its etiquette in that particular race) or they got high.....or acting suspicions but normal people don't speak like that.
Have you ever seen you film the edge, written by David Mamet? The characters do this alot, often in a somewhat passive-aggressive way. Alec Baldwin's character is even called Bob. Search for 'the edge Charles' in TH-cam for a good compilation.
when i dont use said i use words like spat, muttered, growled, or demanded. i find they add a lot but aren't overly complicated like the words communicated or pronounced
“Every sentence matters...” “Said is an invisible word.” As a published writer with an MFA, I find many absolutes to be bad advice. Only Sith deal in absolutes...
I've never listened to anyone who told me not to use "said". I love that word, it's super useful and it's helpful when you're writing long dialogue between two people when there's no more description so I don't get lost in who said what. And especially is perfect when I have more than two characters on a scene because it saves me from inventing faces just to point out who's talking.
The first play I directed was about two people stranded on a deserted island. It was part of a youth theatre festival where every play was written by, directed by and performed by young artists, it was a blast. In this play I was directing, every other line contained each character addressing the other by their name. I asked the playwright if we can omit most of it and he didn't even realize he did it until it was brought to his attention! That's part of the reason why when I write a dialogue heavy scene, I read the dialogue out loud 'in character' because something might look OK on paper, but sound super awkward spoken out loud. I also find it can help give my characters a unique 'voice'. Maybe it's because I'm also a theatre nut, but I enjoy writing dialogue and it's something I think I'm good at (or so I've been told). However I am guilty of finding other words for 'said', but that's because when I first started writing I used it TOO much. I think I've found a nice balance now, or at least I'm getting there, I've certainly improved since even just last year, but it's something that comes from practice. Of course that can be said for most things. ;-)
+happychaosofthenorth That a great idea about reading your dialogue aloud-you're so right that sometimes things that look fine on the page can sound super awkward out loud, which is a problem especially with dialogue! Also good to hear you've found a balance with "said" and other words. Practice definitely helps, with many things including just about every writing-related thing. :)
True! I see the 'As you know Bob' WAY too much, especially with writers who are just starting out, since it's really easy to fall into that trap. This is really helpful to keep in mind. Thanks. :D
Christopher Paolini could've used your advice about the word "said." That was one of the many things that aggravated me endlessly about the "Eragon" books. The thing about characters constantly mentioning each other's names made me smile, because it made me think of "Human Centipede." (Relax, I didn't watch that movie, just the review by Phelous.) The one about characters stating obvious information they should already know made me think of Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre's first conversation in "Casablanca." You love the two of them so much it takes a few watchings to realize that their conversation is completely ridiculous. (Unless they just drink so much that they really do need to constantly remind each other of things they should both already know.) As always, thanks for the writing advice!
The “said” discussion has lifted so much of my anxiety that often keeps me from continuing to write a scene because I keep trying to stop and think of new words for said as I go. Thank you SO SO SO SO much
I've always had trouble with writing believable dialogue, and this video definitely helped! I know that one of the big things that I'm going to have to fix when I finish my current manuscript and I go back to edit is making the dialogue sound more natural.
I'm so glad you found this vlog helpful! Dialogue, like everything else, takes a lot of practice to get it to feel natural. But it's good that you already know it's something you need to work on because it'll make it much easier to recognize while revising!
People say "said" is an invisible word, but not for me. It sticks out like a sore thumb in my eyes. I usually try to use other words to replace "said," but on the other hand, I know not to avoid it completely or use overly complicated substitutes.
An invisible word, said tends to be boring, used best when quoting. If you're aiming to convey emotion through speech, the occasional pushed word or filtered emote helps guide that along ...
I am learning so much from your videos. You have yourself a new subscriber and fan. And yes, I purposely avoided that contraction in the beginning of my comment :D lol
On a side note, on the book I'm working on, I find myself questioning the whole "overusing said" a lot. I tried to use other words like you said not too. I am bad at dialogue. It's my weakness.
The only time you can overuse "said" is if you're using it in literally _every_ line of dialogue. But out of the dialogue tags, said is the one you'll want to use the most.
Ava is such an amazing TH-camr. She definitely deserves more subscribes and views. Well, I feel I convey a lot of useless information in dialogues. Guess I need to stop doing that...
Even when characters seem like they are rambling, in a good story usually they are not. It's the make or break between something like The Room and Pulp Fiction. All that talk about "Foot massages and Royale with cheese" is there to set up characters and relations. The Room is just pointless rambling, hillarious rambling but pointless.
I am pretty much on the 4th "don't", I though "to says" may be an empty word, much like "to be" and "to have" but it is still a tool! Instead, I wanted another words which add more personnality. "Said bookish" is quite worst. "To be" can be used for a person or item state. Like "He is there". "To have" can be used to but we have powerful verb like to carry, to hold, to bring back. I am French, by the way. I translate my though.
I always read my dialogue aloud, to myself and to one of my (long suffering!) beta readers (or beta listener, as she is!), just to make sure it flows well and, most importantly, sounds believable. Something can look fine on the page, but when you read it aloud, you can tell immediately whether it sounds "real" or not.
That's such a great point! Reading writing aloud can be great in terms of checking flow in writing, and I totally agree it can be especially helpful with dialogue!
should we still use contractions if say a character speaks another language and English is their secondary one? for example in my outline I have a character who speaks with an accent which much resembles French, and though she speaks English it is not her first language.
Yes, please use contractions anyway because you don't want the writing to sound stiff and stilted. It's okay for your character to struggle with a language, just be careful-if you overdo it, it's going to be difficult to read, and readers aren't going to want to struggle through it.
I love writing scripts and add improvisation to my scripts, also I'm writing a story about how I met the chibi version of the Gods and Goddesses from Smite.
I have a bad habit of making my characters ramble. I don't intend to, it just kind of happens and I'm trying not to. It usually happens when my characters are talking about something personal, something they're emotional about. I really get into my characters emotionally and I myself tend to ramble when talking about sensitive things, so that's probably why it happens.
Hello, I'm writing my first Novel and two days ago I decided to send a Chapter to my sister because I needed a second opinion and she told me that I need to improve my dialogue, specially when are kids talking but she liked the rest. I'm writing my 1st draft and I just reached 62100 words, my goal was supposed to be 87k but I searched online that I can write at least 10k more. That's what I'm going to do but I really need to improve my writing, I don't know how am I going to do it but I will try my best.
Lmao about the contractions are my pet peeve in writing but I do it anyways. It's like how I use improper grammar in dialogue when I write teen realistic fiction
I don't think I do any of these! I do have a problem, though with descriptive language in between dialogue. I'm not sure if it really sounds bad, or if it's just in my head. For example, from something I was writing: “Would you like to do it again?” I ask. “I think I would.” “When are you free?” “I'm free Friday.” “Friday it is, then.” “Great.” “Great.” Notice, except for "I ask," there are no words beyond the actual dialogue, because I didn't feel like saying "said" or something like that would be natural so many times. But it also just looks weird to have that many lines of straight dialogue. I know some writers do this a little, Hemingway sometimes, and Cormack McCarthy is notorious for it, but I don't know if that makes it right. I do this a lot. Any thoughts?
Uh, well, dialogue tags aren't always necessary when it's obvious whose speaking, so that can be okay. I generally recommend breaking up dialogue with thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc. so you don't have too many lines of just straight dialogue, because otherwise it starts to feel like two voices talking in a void without any resonance whatsoever.
Thanks for always giving us so many great tips BookishPixie. A little off topic (unless you have a video for this please feel free to re-direct me). I'm a complete newbie to this publishing and writing process. Where do you suggest one should save one's work on our PC? I'm always afraid my computer is going to go blank on me and I will lose all my work so need a plan B. Thanks so much! :)
I've cheated by writing like a Play and putting the characters name then what they say (Mary: Hi Sue) with important motions in brackets like eye movement ect
Hey there! It's me again. Loved this video!!!! Was wondering if you could do a video about how to set the location of a book. I am currently in the process of writing my own book, and have kept in mind almost all you tips and information. I just feel that the imaginary world I have created seems un-noticable and does not fully hit the imagination of my audience. Please please help meeeeee :(
+bookishpixie both I guess? It's kind of challenging when choosing a setting or making a setting of your own. More specifically, it's like is there any rules or good tips in explaining the setting. A certain U.S state for example is what you want the readers to imagine, yet you don't want to be specific like Kansas or Atlanta, more of creating your own world but successfully sending a clear image of the setting. Oh god I feel like I am not making sense :((((
+vic zotter Hmmm okay. I think I sort of get the gist of what you're asking...I'll add a general worldbuilding/setting suggestion on my idea list. Thank you! :)
I actually thought about that name thing when I started to write. I mean, I don't say my friends' names all the time when I talk to them, and the reader knows the characters' names already. Just make it obvious who's saying what and that should be fine. Right? :)
I've created kind of an unusual situation for myself. For a chapter that puts the spotlight completely on the secondary protagonist as a brief trip to his place of origin is required (but the plot is still moving forward), everybody is speaking in a fictional language presented as English. This only appears in 2 chapters out of the whole story, so it doesn't seem worth actually coming up with a whole language to write in. Can't decide what would work best - parentheses, italics, etc
Are you actually creating words for the characters to speak? Because if not, you can simply say stuff like: "How are you?" she asked in (language name). "I'm well," he replied in the same language. If you know what I mean. Hope this example helps. :)
I always omit the main protagonist dialog tag. "This house is haunted, and you will find out!" "This house isn't haunted. Stop being so delusional." father said. "It is!" "Well, why don't you prove it!" I also saw a video on TH-cam stating about addressing titles. e.g. my father, my mother, my sister, my cousin. When I renamed my father as John and so on, a reviewer wasn't so pleased. I suppose he was speaking from the teenager's point of view. I don't know, but I am interested in your thoughts on this subject.
I disagree with the first if there's a purpose behind it. For example, works meant to be extremely realistic, or to characterize. I agree with most of the others, but mostly stand by the practice that dialogue should be written beside context and setting, less rules of writing. I'll reiterate my point; all "mistakes" can be made positive and are not inherently bad. Nothing is. Even the worst and most cliche of tropes can be mind-blowing when used creatively. So I would take these less as rules and most as suggestions or guidelines, like a PSA.
+Diana Ceballos Arruda Hey Diana! Unfortunately I don't think I'd be able to do a particularly helpful vlog on that topic, if only because I have no experience trying to write outside of my native language. :( I'm sorry about that!
My problem is definitely over using my characters names, they usually talk in groups of three or four and I’m afraid of the wrong person saying the wrong thing
You should have shared point #3 with James Cameron. The two main characters in "Titanic" "Jacked" and "Rosed" each other to death. Sometimes Jack even said, "Rose, Rose, Rose."
What would you say about the contraction rule for a character with English as a second language that tends to be very formal? Which, if any, contractions might slip through?
I mean, even then they'd learn to use contractions from everyone else. I'd say still use most of them and maybe just skip the ones not used quite as much (so like, use don't, can't, won't, I'm, I'll, etc. but maybe not would've, could've). But honestly it really just depends on context so...
my school, in 3rd grade, would tell me to write a story of where I've been in the past week, every week. I always wrote the same thing and lied because i don't travel anywhere.
I use slang with my characters things like "Fuhggedabowit" and "Shuddup" it's just to show how clearly my characters accents are and how educated they might be.
Im not a native speaker, granted, but I very much notice said, and find it grating and a mark of lazy writing. Its not invisible for me and if used more than twice within a dialog it becomes very distracting. I often find myself rewording the prose in my head to get rid of it.
Dialogue is so hard cause everyone speaks differently. I have to keep remembering that the adults don't talk like me and my friends (on the other hand, for the teenagers, I just pretend my friends and I are talking to each other.)
Don't! These are tips to help you improve. If you've made these mistakes (and just about every writer does at some point!) it only means you have room to improve your dialogue-which is not a bad thing. :)
Im confused to this because the most popular of the doctors (form doctor who) rambled so something went wright there a characters long wended rambling gets quoted more then the catchphrase
There are always exceptions to the rules-I just talk general rules here especially since there are a lot of new writers on my channel, but of course one you've become comfortable with the norms you can break them thoughtfully. It's just a lot harder to pull off, so you have to be careful.
I don't think that first rule is valid for literary fiction. There, the dialogue tends to be more oblique and less functional and there's a lot more emphasis on the aesthetics of individual sentences than the gestalt of a page or a chapter.
+Kunal Sen We'll have to agree to disagree-I firmly believe it's valid for all genres. Dialogue is a tool, even in literary fiction, and there needs to be some function for *every* sentence in a novel, including dialogue.
I know this is an old-ish video, but hopefully someone will answer me: Thoughts on using less contractions when writing ESL characters? I have a character who originally spoke Greek, and while I have him use some contractions ('I'm' since it sounds like 'I am', 'can't' since it sounds like 'can not'), I make a point to have him use less than my other narrator who was born and raised in Virginia. Is this a smart idea or not?
One channel that doesn't dish out sophomoric workshop advice - like show don't tell. always write an outline. etc.... I mean what she is advising is really useful and important and should cramp nobody's creativity.
This comment isn’t really about this video but I really wanted to know how do I describe my character to the reader without throwing a character sheet at them
Don't have characters start every sentence with Honestly, Still, Well, Even, and Like. And... For the... Love... Of God... Stop using ellipses every few words.
2:15
- What is it, Bob? - demanded Mary
- Nothing - whatevered Bob
Dialogue should NOT sound robotic and stiff. I remember writing my first story four years back- it was called "Dark Trails". I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the dialogue was _crap_. Learning how to write lines for characters that sounded like something even _I_ would say was definitely not an overnight process. It has to have flow to it. It needs to sound _realistic_, basically. Also, don't be afraid of adding in profanity, because it increases authenticity (don't overdo it, it loses it's effectiveness if it's too frequent).
I used to write lines like this: *_"Do you remember the time a long time ago where you used to be a jerk to me? It seems as though you have changed, huh?"_* That sounds...stiff.
But if I fixed that, it would sound like *_"You remember how much an ass you were to me? All those years ago? Let's just say it's nice to see you NOT be an ass for once."_*
nice example ^^
I recently looked back on a story I wrote 6 years ago and oh boy, the dialogue was SHIT. It made me want to go back in time and slap myself in the face for even remotely believing that that was the kind of thing a real person would say.
@@spencerokeefe438 what helped your dialogue improve the most? I'm trying to get better at mine so I don't read back and cringe at it like you did haha
@@Ari-ih5un Basically, I just kept reading. Everything from fanfiction written by horny teenagers to popular professionally published work. The former gave me a good idea of what to avoid and showed me how bad this stuff looks when actually written down. The latter showed me what to strive for, showing me how good dialogue actually fits together and allowing me to recognize where the bad dialogue I'd seen fell short. I also wrote reviews for a bunch of those stories because that allowed me to dissect the reason why I did or didn't like what I was seeing and apply that to my own work.
If you want a faster method, though, I'd recommend using writing prompts or just writing as often as possible. Like all activities, the more you practice the better you'll become. With dialogue specifically you can try writing it down and then reciting the conversation out loud, preferably with a friend who can act as one of the characters (and give you feedback). If it sounds unnatural when spoken out loud, chances are it sounds unnatural on paper.
@@spencerokeefe438 Thank you for replying, that's some great advice. I'll certainly try out those methods.
Have you written/are you writing a book? It seems you know a lot on the subject ^ I'm in the process of one and it's not an easy feat. I think my dialogue could improve...the goal is for each character to have a distinct voice, where you hardly need dialogue tags at times.
Do you think people who socialize more would write better dialogue (having a lot of input of conversations/different types of people)? I wonder about that, because I'm introverted and don't get much of that input. Maybe movies would be an equivalent of socializing. Though books with well-written dialogue the best of course.
Also do you have any book recommendations with realistic sounding dialogue? Genre doesn't matter, I just want to study the conversations ^^
I know this is a lot of questions but I have no writer friends in real life haha. Thanks for responding
SAID IS NOT DEAD. Thank you
You're welcome. :)
Your comment brings back a few memories of my 5th grade teacher making up a song about how "Said was Dead" and it got ran over by a car or something like that I have no idea. Good times. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Elmore Leonard
That needs to be on Tshirts
Hahaha, I used to do the "hey Mary,"
"Hey Bob."
"How have you been, Mary?"
"Pretty good, Bob. Pretty good."
In hindsight, on top of how awkward it sounds, it also seems kinda passive aggressive? Or just vaguely unpleasant overall. Which is definitely not the type of tone I was going for 99% of the time :P
+Rebeca A. ha ha ha that's true about it being slightly passive aggressive. But uh, yeah, the name overuse thing is...a painfully common error that I'm sure I totally made when I first started writing. >.
Rebeca A. If Bob and Mary was sharing a joint and evenly stoned, this would be the perfect conversation. Not awkward or passive aggressive at all. 😂
"Same old same old," said a cyborg once.
I mean maybe if that's how they naturally speak (like say its etiquette in that particular race) or they got high.....or acting suspicions but normal people don't speak like that.
Have you ever seen you film the edge, written by David Mamet? The characters do this alot, often in a somewhat passive-aggressive way. Alec Baldwin's character is even called Bob. Search for 'the edge Charles' in TH-cam for a good compilation.
I got the Mary and Sue reference XD
Me being me, I completely missed that somehow.
I love those kind of jokes
@@lizzychrome7630 same XD
I can't even lie. I'm always trying to use different words for 'said'. :'D
Ha ha well you miiiiight want to not. :)
bookishpixie Yes definitely not. I just have a bad tendency to overthink things. I'm glad you went over that subject :)
:)
when i dont use said i use words like spat, muttered, growled, or demanded. i find they add a lot but aren't overly complicated like the words communicated or pronounced
“Every sentence matters...” “Said is an invisible word.”
As a published writer with an MFA, I find many absolutes to be bad advice.
Only Sith deal in absolutes...
Your "As you know, Bob" dialogue sounds like the first episode of every anime ever
Ha ha I don't watch anime so I wouldn't know, but that's pretty funny.
I've never listened to anyone who told me not to use "said". I love that word, it's super useful and it's helpful when you're writing long dialogue between two people when there's no more description so I don't get lost in who said what. And especially is perfect when I have more than two characters on a scene because it saves me from inventing faces just to point out who's talking.
“Hey, MARY”
“Hey, SUE”
I got that reference lol
What Rey lol
The first play I directed was about two people stranded on a deserted island. It was part of a youth theatre festival where every play was written by, directed by and performed by young artists, it was a blast. In this play I was directing, every other line contained each character addressing the other by their name. I asked the playwright if we can omit most of it and he didn't even realize he did it until it was brought to his attention!
That's part of the reason why when I write a dialogue heavy scene, I read the dialogue out loud 'in character' because something might look OK on paper, but sound super awkward spoken out loud. I also find it can help give my characters a unique 'voice'. Maybe it's because I'm also a theatre nut, but I enjoy writing dialogue and it's something I think I'm good at (or so I've been told). However I am guilty of finding other words for 'said', but that's because when I first started writing I used it TOO much. I think I've found a nice balance now, or at least I'm getting there, I've certainly improved since even just last year, but it's something that comes from practice. Of course that can be said for most things. ;-)
+happychaosofthenorth That a great idea about reading your dialogue aloud-you're so right that sometimes things that look fine on the page can sound super awkward out loud, which is a problem especially with dialogue! Also good to hear you've found a balance with "said" and other words. Practice definitely helps, with many things including just about every writing-related thing. :)
This video made me feel a lot better about my writing I do the majority of things yay
:) yay!
True! I see the 'As you know Bob' WAY too much, especially with writers who are just starting out, since it's really easy to fall into that trap. This is really helpful to keep in mind. Thanks. :D
+Raven Hopkins Sure thing! :)
Christopher Paolini could've used your advice about the word "said." That was one of the many things that aggravated me endlessly about the "Eragon" books.
The thing about characters constantly mentioning each other's names made me smile, because it made me think of "Human Centipede." (Relax, I didn't watch that movie, just the review by Phelous.)
The one about characters stating obvious information they should already know made me think of Humphrey Bogart and Peter Lorre's first conversation in "Casablanca." You love the two of them so much it takes a few watchings to realize that their conversation is completely ridiculous. (Unless they just drink so much that they really do need to constantly remind each other of things they should both already know.)
As always, thanks for the writing advice!
Ha ha you're welcome!
One thing that helps me is to have someone (or an app) read the dialogue to me. Hearing it is better than just reading it to see if it's natural.
haha! When you said, "not next week," it threw me for a loop.
Ha ha I know! I haven't broken my streak in a while, so it threw me for a loop too-I messed up the first time I recorded it. :)
I've just discovered your channel and it is marvellous. Subscribed right away!
Awesome! So glad to hear it-and welcome to bookishpixie! :)
Love how you get straight to the point. Your videos are way easier to watch than others
The “said” discussion has lifted so much of my anxiety that often keeps me from continuing to write a scene because I keep trying to stop and think of new words for said as I go. Thank you SO SO SO SO much
Happy to help!
Whenever someone writes dialogue without any contractions, I immediately think of Data from ST:TNG saying, “I am an android.”
I've been meaning to look up writing tips on TH-cam for awhile now. I'm glad I found your page. Thanks and you have another subscriber.
Glad you've found my channel helpful!
Started looking at your book shelf, and some of them are my favorite novels
:D
Thanks! I am happy that you put all those points which was ironically used by me.
Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! I hope that I'll be able to make my writing better.
I've always had trouble with writing believable dialogue, and this video definitely helped! I know that one of the big things that I'm going to have to fix when I finish my current manuscript and I go back to edit is making the dialogue sound more natural.
I'm so glad you found this vlog helpful! Dialogue, like everything else, takes a lot of practice to get it to feel natural. But it's good that you already know it's something you need to work on because it'll make it much easier to recognize while revising!
As a screenwriter, I once spent an entire day on the bus and in food courts listening in on conversations. Just taking notes.
People say "said" is an invisible word, but not for me. It sticks out like a sore thumb in my eyes. I usually try to use other words to replace "said," but on the other hand, I know not to avoid it completely or use overly complicated substitutes.
An invisible word, said tends to be boring, used best when quoting. If you're aiming to convey emotion through speech, the occasional pushed word or filtered emote helps guide that along ...
Thank you Ava! So thrilled to see this video, you made excellent points, thanks for the awesome advice as always!
You're so welcome! Thank you for watching! :)
Love your videos binge watching helps a lot!
I am learning so much from your videos. You have yourself a new subscriber and fan. And yes, I purposely avoided that contraction in the beginning of my comment :D lol
On a side note, on the book I'm working on, I find myself questioning the whole "overusing said" a lot. I tried to use other words like you said not too. I am bad at dialogue. It's my weakness.
Glad you're enjoying my channel!
The only time you can overuse "said" is if you're using it in literally _every_ line of dialogue. But out of the dialogue tags, said is the one you'll want to use the most.
Thanks for making this video - really helpful!
I really enjoyed this video, these are such great tips and really helpful.
+MissArtsyGurl Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching. :)
You're welcome. :D
Ava is such an amazing TH-camr. She definitely deserves more subscribes and views. Well, I feel I convey a lot of useless information in dialogues. Guess I need to stop doing that...
Thanks so much! And yes, that can be a good thing to look out for while revising for sure. :)
Very helpful video!!! Thank you for these tips. :)
+Unicorn Potato You're welcome! Thanks for watching! :)
thank you for this helpful knowledge.
Even when characters seem like they are rambling, in a good story usually they are not. It's the make or break between something like The Room and Pulp Fiction. All that talk about "Foot massages and Royale with cheese" is there to set up characters and relations. The Room is just pointless rambling, hillarious rambling but pointless.
I like your sweatshirt. It's cool!
Thanks so much for this video! Your tips are always so helpful :D
You're welcome! So happy to hear it. :)
Thank You this was very helpful
Oh nice, I've actually been avoiding most of these! (Which is good because I was worried about dialouge hahaha)
I am pretty much on the 4th "don't", I though "to says" may be an empty word, much like "to be" and "to have" but it is still a tool! Instead, I wanted another words which add more personnality. "Said bookish" is quite worst.
"To be" can be used for a person or item state. Like "He is there".
"To have" can be used to but we have powerful verb like to carry, to hold, to bring back.
I am French, by the way. I translate my though.
I always read my dialogue aloud, to myself and to one of my (long suffering!) beta readers (or beta listener, as she is!), just to make sure it flows well and, most importantly, sounds believable. Something can look fine on the page, but when you read it aloud, you can tell immediately whether it sounds "real" or not.
That's such a great point! Reading writing aloud can be great in terms of checking flow in writing, and I totally agree it can be especially helpful with dialogue!
I'm going to watch all your videos :) I'm learning a lot from them. I love your accent. And you're also gorgeous :) Keep up the good work, miss.
should we still use contractions if say a character speaks another language and English is their secondary one? for example in my outline I have a character who speaks with an accent which much resembles French, and though she speaks English it is not her first language.
Yes, please use contractions anyway because you don't want the writing to sound stiff and stilted. It's okay for your character to struggle with a language, just be careful-if you overdo it, it's going to be difficult to read, and readers aren't going to want to struggle through it.
Number 3 cracked me up lol.
Actually, the Seeker series uses "said" a lot, and I didn't even notice it until I actually dug into the books for the writing advice.
I love writing scripts and add improvisation to my scripts, also I'm writing a story about how I met the chibi version of the Gods and Goddesses from Smite.
I’m binging now I start my creative writing bachelor in July
Ayy, i got to watch this in meh class. ;DA
Great advice!
Thanks!
2. as you know bob. Works great in anime.
I have a bad habit of making my characters ramble. I don't intend to, it just kind of happens and I'm trying not to. It usually happens when my characters are talking about something personal, something they're emotional about. I really get into my characters emotionally and I myself tend to ramble when talking about sensitive things, so that's probably why it happens.
That makes sense! And that's what revisions are for. :)
Hello, I'm writing my first Novel and two days ago I decided to send a Chapter to my sister because I needed a second opinion and she told me that I need to improve my dialogue, specially when are kids talking but she liked the rest. I'm writing my 1st draft and I just reached 62100 words, my goal was supposed to be 87k but I searched online that I can write at least 10k more. That's what I'm going to do but I really need to improve my writing, I don't know how am I going to do it but I will try my best.
Agreed, said is a important word! Said they guy commenting on this video
Your videos are very helpful
+princessplam Glad to hear it! Thanks for watching. :)
I got some critique partners because of you. It's nice to actually have people tell me what I'm doing wrong. Looking forward to more videos!
+princessplam Oh yay! I'm so, so happy to hear that-great work on finding CPs! :)
She retorted is a favorite of mine.
Lmao about the contractions are my pet peeve in writing but I do it anyways. It's like how I use improper grammar in dialogue when I write teen realistic fiction
+Watch Me Fangirl Ha ha yeah contractions definitely help with the flow! It's pretty noticeable when they're missing entirely. :)
As number 1 once said. "No you can't, don't even try."
I don't think I do any of these! I do have a problem, though with descriptive language in between dialogue. I'm not sure if it really sounds bad, or if it's just in my head. For example, from something I was writing:
“Would you like to do it again?” I ask.
“I think I would.”
“When are you free?”
“I'm free Friday.”
“Friday it is, then.”
“Great.”
“Great.”
Notice, except for "I ask," there are no words beyond the actual dialogue, because I didn't feel like saying "said" or something like that would be natural so many times. But it also just looks weird to have that many lines of straight dialogue. I know some writers do this a little, Hemingway sometimes, and Cormack McCarthy is notorious for it, but I don't know if that makes it right. I do this a lot. Any thoughts?
Uh, well, dialogue tags aren't always necessary when it's obvious whose speaking, so that can be okay. I generally recommend breaking up dialogue with thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc. so you don't have too many lines of just straight dialogue, because otherwise it starts to feel like two voices talking in a void without any resonance whatsoever.
ShapedSilver u can use these:
"are u free on friday?" I asked
"yup" he replied
Thanks for always giving us so many great tips BookishPixie. A little off topic (unless you have a video for this please feel free to re-direct me). I'm a complete newbie to this publishing and writing process. Where do you suggest one should save one's work on our PC? I'm always afraid my computer is going to go blank on me and I will lose all my work so need a plan B. Thanks so much! :)
There are great backup sites like Dropbox and Google docs that you can use to save backups!
Thank you! For now I will use Dropbox. :)
+Maria Cartagena Sounds good! Happy I could help! :)
Thank you very much! :)
+Patrick McDougal You're welcome!
I've cheated by writing like a Play and putting the characters name then what they say (Mary: Hi Sue) with important motions in brackets like eye movement ect
Hey there! It's me again. Loved this video!!!! Was wondering if you could do a video about how to set the location of a book. I am currently in the process of writing my own book, and have kept in mind almost all you tips and information. I just feel that the imaginary world I have created seems un-noticable and does not fully hit the imagination of my audience. Please please help meeeeee :(
+vic zotter That sounds like a great idea! But to clarify, do you mean a vlog on *choosing* a setting or *building* a setting?
+bookishpixie both I guess? It's kind of challenging when choosing a setting or making a setting of your own. More specifically, it's like is there any rules or good tips in explaining the setting. A certain U.S state for example is what you want the readers to imagine, yet you don't want to be specific like Kansas or Atlanta, more of creating your own world but successfully sending a clear image of the setting. Oh god I feel like I am not making sense :((((
+vic zotter Hmmm okay. I think I sort of get the gist of what you're asking...I'll add a general worldbuilding/setting suggestion on my idea list. Thank you! :)
Instead of using said...you can modify your sentence that shows the character talk
I actually thought about that name thing when I started to write. I mean, I don't say my friends' names all the time when I talk to them, and the reader knows the characters' names already. Just make it obvious who's saying what and that should be fine. Right? :)
I've created kind of an unusual situation for myself.
For a chapter that puts the spotlight completely on the secondary protagonist as a brief trip to his place of origin is required (but the plot is still moving forward), everybody is speaking in a fictional language presented as English. This only appears in 2 chapters out of the whole story, so it doesn't seem worth actually coming up with a whole language to write in.
Can't decide what would work best - parentheses, italics, etc
Are you actually creating words for the characters to speak? Because if not, you can simply say stuff like:
"How are you?" she asked in (language name).
"I'm well," he replied in the same language.
If you know what I mean. Hope this example helps. :)
I always omit the main protagonist dialog tag. "This house is haunted, and you will find out!" "This house isn't haunted. Stop being so delusional." father said. "It is!" "Well, why don't you prove it!" I also saw a video on TH-cam stating about addressing titles. e.g. my father, my mother, my sister, my cousin. When I renamed my father as John and so on, a reviewer wasn't so pleased. I suppose he was speaking from the teenager's point of view. I don't know, but I am interested in your thoughts on this subject.
I disagree with the first if there's a purpose behind it. For example, works meant to be extremely realistic, or to characterize. I agree with most of the others, but mostly stand by the practice that dialogue should be written beside context and setting, less rules of writing. I'll reiterate my point; all "mistakes" can be made positive and are not inherently bad. Nothing is. Even the worst and most cliche of tropes can be mind-blowing when used creatively.
So I would take these less as rules and most as suggestions or guidelines, like a PSA.
I definitely agree that writing "rules" should be seen as suggestions/guidelines and not laws! Most things have exceptions, and that's fine. :)
Thank you
hey, Ava, have you thought about making a video for those of us whose native language is not English but would like to write in English?
x
+Diana Ceballos Arruda Hey Diana! Unfortunately I don't think I'd be able to do a particularly helpful vlog on that topic, if only because I have no experience trying to write outside of my native language. :( I'm sorry about that!
My problem is definitely over using my characters names, they usually talk in groups of three or four and I’m afraid of the wrong person saying the wrong thing
Ah, yes, that can be tricky. But that's what dialogue and action tags are for!
Lol nano is coming and I’ve just been binging your channel
:D
You should have shared point #3 with James Cameron. The two main characters in "Titanic" "Jacked" and "Rosed" each other to death. Sometimes Jack even said, "Rose, Rose, Rose."
And yet, one of the most critically acclaimed films of all time.
What would you say about the contraction rule for a character with English as a second language that tends to be very formal? Which, if any, contractions might slip through?
I mean, even then they'd learn to use contractions from everyone else. I'd say still use most of them and maybe just skip the ones not used quite as much (so like, use don't, can't, won't, I'm, I'll, etc. but maybe not would've, could've). But honestly it really just depends on context so...
Noted, thanks for the help! I'll be a bit better about using contractions more then.
Oh Hi, Mark.
my school, in 3rd grade, would tell me to write a story of where I've been in the past week, every week. I always wrote the same thing and lied because i don't travel anywhere.
You should do a video of you reacting to book reviews
heh I don't read the bad book reviews for the sake of my own sanity soooo...
I use slang with my characters things like "Fuhggedabowit" and "Shuddup" it's just to show how clearly my characters accents are and how educated they might be.
I love you!
regarding #5 what if my goal is to make the character robotic and stilted?
Uh...I wouldn't recommend that?
Yayyy I don't use aby of those five :D I'm good!
Do you put your camera on your ceiling?
Im not a native speaker, granted, but I very much notice said, and find it grating and a mark of lazy writing. Its not invisible for me and if used more than twice within a dialog it becomes very distracting. I often find myself rewording the prose in my head to get rid of it.
Dialogue is so hard cause everyone speaks differently. I have to keep remembering that the adults don't talk like me and my friends (on the other hand, for the teenagers, I just pretend my friends and I are talking to each other.)
That's so true!
Well, I already feel like a failed writer.
Don't! These are tips to help you improve. If you've made these mistakes (and just about every writer does at some point!) it only means you have room to improve your dialogue-which is not a bad thing. :)
You haven’t. No one starts out perfect. 🤷♀️
Im confused to this because the most popular of the doctors (form doctor who) rambled so something went wright there a characters long wended rambling gets quoted more then the catchphrase
There are always exceptions to the rules-I just talk general rules here especially since there are a lot of new writers on my channel, but of course one you've become comfortable with the norms you can break them thoughtfully. It's just a lot harder to pull off, so you have to be careful.
bookishpixie i see
I don't think that first rule is valid for literary fiction. There, the dialogue tends to be more oblique and less functional and there's a lot more emphasis on the aesthetics of individual sentences than the gestalt of a page or a chapter.
+Kunal Sen We'll have to agree to disagree-I firmly believe it's valid for all genres. Dialogue is a tool, even in literary fiction, and there needs to be some function for *every* sentence in a novel, including dialogue.
I know this is an old-ish video, but hopefully someone will answer me: Thoughts on using less contractions when writing ESL characters? I have a character who originally spoke Greek, and while I have him use some contractions ('I'm' since it sounds like 'I am', 'can't' since it sounds like 'can not'), I make a point to have him use less than my other narrator who was born and raised in Virginia. Is this a smart idea or not?
What if not using contractions is part of my character to show how awckward he is?
Not using contractions sometimes is okay, just make sure you're not doing that 100% of the time because you'll go from "awkward" to "robot."
One channel that doesn't dish out sophomoric workshop advice - like show don't tell. always write an outline. etc.... I mean what she is advising is really useful and important and should cramp nobody's creativity.
Mary and Sue? I wonder where you came up with that idea...
wish you luck
Thanks!
This comment isn’t really about this video but I really wanted to know how do I describe my character to the reader without throwing a character sheet at them
Do not use contractions if your dialog is betwixt Amish characters.
That was a fun sentence.
loool this sounds like 5 dialogue rules that'd be interesting to break.
Said is annoying once you get used to no longer using dialogue tags.
Plot Twist: Character 2 tells character 1 they're rambling and challenges them to pistols at dawn.
Don't have characters start every sentence with Honestly, Still, Well, Even, and Like. And... For the... Love... Of God... Stop using ellipses every few words.
I'm writing sci fi, what if my characters ARE robots?
"Hi Mary"
"Hi sue"
"wanna adopt a kid?"
"sure what will we name it"
"how about Mary Sue"
"great idea sue"
" i know i' perfect"