Before I got my autism diagnosis, I felt so dang broken and like I didn't belong. I had a group of regular friends (many of whom it turns are also autistic), but they were the only ones who understood me. Ironically, since my diagnosis I've been better able to connect with my colleagues at work because people, including me, now understand me better. Note: I also have ADHD and I'm the chatty kind of autistic person. The type who just keeps infodumping and monologuing.
My son got back from camping and happily told me he had reconnected with an old friend who now has a job mapping the geology of Mars. She sounds like the perfect friend for him.
I feel the same way. I'm in this process at 52 and I'm glad to find out we're not alone in this. 🧡 Your name sounds Dutch 🤓 My husband is from Den Haag. 👋🏼
Thank you for being inclusive to girls/women in this beautifully put video. I was diagnosed as autistic two days ago, and I am 41-years-old. My interests in art and the history of everyday people have been still hard to navigate as someone who doesn't understand typical female social norms. I always got along much better with males, but that can present its own social problems. How females and minority groups fit into both the data and the social realm is a complex and important topic.
as a girl diagnosted in my early 20's my experience from early childhood to early adulthood was watching kids playing on playgrounds but never being able to participate or watching my classmates in uni in associations and commities but being left out or judge so hardly when ever i tried to participate in some extracureculum activities it's like being very close and far at the same time
Lovely. Before viewing, even though I knew what the statistic referred to, my mind was going "1 in 36 - is that double 1? Double 6? 2 on the red die and 3 on the green? I wonder how many ways I can define it?" - then I started watching, and everything calmed down. A quiet moment for my racing brain. Thank you so much for that, for the poetry in your words, for sharing, for being inclusive. I've saved it to my autism playlist (which is normally for info I want to review), as a reminder to take the occasional breather.
Beautifully crafted video, Mike. Images expertly matched with the music . You had me tearing up - in a good way. Were those forest shots on the island? It's so beautiful! Where were the girls? Oh, we were star gazing, too. Or out bird watching or busy being a band-nerd in the school concert band and orchestra rehearsals. Or chilling at home, sitting in a fork of a backyard gum tree, reading a book, watching the ants, or the clouds. At least, that was my experience!
I am 51 years old and I have an appointment at the local university hospital for an autism assessment in ... 2027. Until then, I just assume that my self-assessment is correct. Thanks for the video, it made me feel less lonely. 🙂
@@foljs5858 I could go private and it would be faster, but also expensive -- this way it is free for me. Autism assessments for adults are almost impossible to get where I live.
@@foljs5858 The upside is, it's free. Going private might be faster, but expensive. Autism assessments for adults are not a priority in my country, and very few psychologist/psychiatrists specialized in this. They are booked out for years.
Tingles at the end! This was a lovely video, thank you Mike. 💚 I've come to accept that people come & go from my life & are very rarely permanent fixtures I can rely on - even when I think I've found my tribe. This quote from one of my favourite films (Croupier) helps me to rationalise change & loss "Hold on tightly. Let go lightly"
I love the analogy of the river as I feel I have lived my whole life just under the surface only occasionally able to come to the surface for a breath of fresh air. The problem with being in the river though is that you constantly feel like you're drowning and no-one is noticing 😢. So we mask by coming to the surface trying to swim with everyone else but no matter how much we know that going with the flow would be easier every fibre of your being wants to swim upstream...the struggle is so real ...
Thank you very much for this video. I’m not sure if I’m ND myself, but many experiences of neurodivergent people online resonate with me on a deep level. That feeling of being alone, feeling that no one truly understands you - that feeling is part of my life. Your videos help me feel seen and understood. Sorry if my English is bad, it’s not my native language (передаю привет всем русскоговорящим, кто читает этот комментарий!)
1:39 The 1:4 female:male ratio is an old statistic. IIRC, the current ratio for people just now getting diagnoses is around 1:2. I'll also note that among channels doing significant amounts of autism self-advocacy (or entirely devoted to that purpose), the rate on TH-cam seems to be heavily skewed in favor of females.
I’ve definitely noticed the latter- I think it is because females being more likely to have to self-diagnose have had to find homes here. And the content is more relatable to them as a result. Generally speaking, of course.
@@sirbradfordofhousejones Also, I have a hunch that females are significantly less likely have intellectual disabilities/language communication barriers. Advocacy appeals much more naturally to them.
None of my old friend group is AUD or ADHD and I am finding being around them is not so fun for me anymore. I dont like to mask and I used to be the life of a party and it was exhausting. I agree, finding people who like what you like is a great way for making friends. You already have some built in commonalities and they might treasure your collected information. Is the song you played Gaga? Would you mind sharing it? So lovely! Also, I am a 55 year old female.
I never had the friendships I needed, the ones I did have almost never maintained for long, the slings and arrows in my back were intense. I was not only the "loner" I was the "loser" even though I was good with education, my medical and mental issues left me battered, rejected, and harmed by those I befriended. Self hatred feeding self hatred, I felt like I was broken, for things we now know are my tourettes and autism. Girls were not accepted with this conditions, many times I realized the outsiders, the goths, the emos, the girls who were absolutely done with socializing at least where I was, often had these kinda intense struggles. I had a group of doctors tell me they thought I was autistic when I was 11, I was in a horrible and abusive hell hole of a school, to those who know anything about the private schools for natives children in the USA and Canada that are now defunct, their goal, their job was to basically indoctrinate our culture out of us, to push manifest destiny and convince us we were savages. As the pale kid in the native school (diagnosed in 2020 with a newly discovered form of albino condition, I was violently and horrifically bullied by both students and staff, I was afraid of the school knowing I was autistic so much, that I convinced myself it was not possible and convinced my parents not to pursue it. Looking back I realize how hard it was for a girl in my position to get the doctors to say I was autistic, getting the full diagnosis now is so complicated it is not even funny, but I will keep holding on and take this route. It was in 2019 I found my nerd online community, it was the first time I truly felt like I belonged anywhere, unfortunately most of them turned out to be two faced and I was put through a lot for my issues, I even had one woman I befriended clipping me ticcing and spasming backstage and share it our mutuals claiming I told her how I "fake my tics." I got rid of her, and things moved on but she was not the worst, I had one attack me several times, she stalked, harassed, blasted, and went after me constantly despite me doing NOTHING to her but being kind and generous. So right after my father passed WHILE I was dealing with losing him, she decided I was "evil" for not letting people talk about her positively on my streams (rule is we don't talk about people who are not there, unless to promote and help them, and mentioning her at all was banned because I am not promoting someone who did this stuff to me, but I didn't want to hurt her) So she decided while I was hurting, while I was mourning, that she was going to "debunk" my tics, she literally did a livestream deep diving through my old videos and streams and mocking my tics, and even would try to act them out laughing demonically about it. There is a positive in this mess, I made during all this, 3 friends who I never expected to make, one my best friend in south Brittan, he would be there for me through EVERYTHING and we helped each other through losing out fathers. He is a wonderful guy and works full time as an in home carer for his disabled veteran mother. Two my protector from Canada, he found me on a stream when I was ticcing hard and I was trying to explain to the panel my brain issues and my seizure damage and brain scars. During this time, he was going through brain cancer, and we connected on joking and supporting each other through our mutual "brain damage" loving teasing both ways and protective. He has helped me through so much, and both of these guys send me gifts and support all the time (no they are not flirting, in fact they are also friends with my husband and give him gifts as well). 3rd is a friend I made through this online community, that I found out lives nearby, like for real about a 30 minute drive to his place. I ended up being friends with him and his wife, very sweet people. I spent a lot of time with him in person, he is my safety friend, as he is a professional carer for high needs spectrum and adults with severe medical and mental disabilities. He is not only super chill to hang out with, but he actually helps keep me safe while we hang out. He and his wife, are going with me and my husband to a comedy show in a few weeks, and he is going to (free of charge) give me full carer access for the night, to help make sure I am safe in the crowd with my tics and spasms. The lesson I guess, the struggle is real for most of us, but after almost 41 years on this planet, I finally feel like I have a small group (hubby, best friend, brain buddy, carer and his wife) who actually legitly accept me and love me autistic and tourettes and all. And your community is making it feel like that tiny bubble is finally expanding, much love your video touched me deeply.
@RosettaAllen, thanks for sharing your super hard story here with us. I cannot find words to express my feelings about your school experiences. It is indigenous knowledge and wisdom we need more than ever now as we face so many environmental challenges. To think that colonisers worked so hard to stamp this out is sickening. It happened here in Australia, too. But please know that you are valued. I really enjoy spending time reading your posts on Discord and especially seeing your beautiful photographs. 🫂🦅
We are the watchers. Also, my diving frequently occurred out of aircraft. Felt so comfortable around them. Now wondering how many of those friends were/are neurodivergent.
Thank you for such beautiful analogies relaying to female Autism. I inly got my diagnosis at 48 and my ADHD diagnosis 2 years later. Actually my ADHD diagnosis only came 2 days ago. Thank you for a very timely reminder that we are a community, and we can find community in our passions.
Thank you so much for this film It feels so good that you show this to the world I feel great recognition. I hope I found the right words. English is not my first language 😊
Love this. Thank you. I am one who has had several groups over the years but honestly, they always seem to fade away, whether by others getting enough of me and leaving or my own defense mechanisms of ending things when I am no longer able to cope.
@@Autistic_AF The first one is very simple, maroon shirt with 1 in 36 in white letters. Now my brain is swirling in images to create the same basic idea but with various "things" making up the letters and numbers. I'll let you know if I make anything sharable.
That was beautifully expressed. And I can identify with this. I never had deep friendships in school, or in the work place. but now that I am in my 60's I have found a close group of good friends and it is comforting. I still enjoy my sanctuary with my cat Sophie, but i love spending time with my friends too.
Being trans practically all my friends are autistic and ADHD because that's how trans communities be, to the point where they're doing studies on it. I know many, many trans people and seldom meet a trans person who isn't autistic. The communities I'm in are very open and queer-affirming.
I love this so much, thank you. At the moment I am working hard to make an ND community in my workplace, and it is hard work but beautiful. I’m going to share this with my sister, who is at the start of her Autism discovery journey.
@@Autistic_AF sorry dude, but I do not know what that means. I am not saying it for sympathy, but I cannot be the only person in this particular boat. Knowing that there are others in the same situation, somehow makes it easier, so I posted in the hope that others may feel a little better about things.
@@bluecheesehasmoldinit Thanks BlueCheese. I am doing therapy, so maybe i will learn how to do better, but who knows. Good to hear you have one friend. btw ... hmm, stilton!! 🙂
Yep. I am not too bad at "making friends" (not really friends, more people to talk too, do things together, don't know an english word for it.). But I know they just like the fassade. The moment I open up it's like they see something disgusting and are away. So I just am not interested any more, as it costs me too much energy. Same with love affairs, see no sense in investing more for that poor outcome. I prefer then not having s*x with someone else, but live in peace for the rest of the time and just do my things. I know if I want I could go out, smile, be funny and then get some "friends" or affairs. I am just tired of the sort of people that like my fassade. And unfortunatly the people I find interesting have their people. Younger me thought from time to time "take what You can get and drink/drug them funny/interesting enough". But getting older I am just so bored of it. Maybe I am an arrogant asshole, but I am just not interested in hanging out with boring, unintelligent, uninspiring people. And to be poor almost all my adult life limited me a lot unfortunatly. If You can't pay tickets AND babysitters for example You can't meet people with same interests. And now that I have the money my body is old and my mind just so exhausted. Let's see, it's just three month, maybe I recover.
I just watched this and didn't realise how much I needed it right now. I recently joined a local Kayak club, and it's great, also started to go to speedcubing competitions (solving a rubiks cube fast) and I have definitely fpund my teibe in these places, just needed a reminder. :)
Thank you for this video, it definitely made me cry as I've been searching for acceptance and belonging my whole life.. And even though there's some heavy darkness to come up from, I'm starting to have moments where I actually do believe there's hope in the future.. That I just haven't found my people yet, but it's easy to fall back into thinking I have no people, so yeah, it goes up and down like everything else I guess.. So thank you for the extremely important message that we're not alone! 💜✨️
This video is spot on matching the thoughts I'm having the last days. I have a NT friend who I share some interests with, like listening to music with some nice high quality equipment. At the same time it's hard to explain to him, that I can't always handle the loud af offbeat black metal which he loves so much. It would be nice to have an autistic friend who doesn't always needs explanations, but just knows why things are the way they are. Also it may help with unmasking. And I like the thought of having somebody to stim with. But I'm not ready yet for something like discord. So I remain lonely for a little bit longer.
I am a late diagnosed female, at 50 years of age. 2:01 My autism was easily recognized when I got to the intake session. It took the lady five minutes to refer me for a formal diagnosis here in Scandinavia. My shared passion growing up was music, drum and bugle corps, high school band, college band…
That was healing. Finding community is the big thing I am working on right now, so this gave a good solid dose of hope. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Amazing! Well spoken. I am retired now and live in a retirement community. I recently was speaking with a friend who started to ask me about autism. He believes he may be autistic as well. We are considering starting a club in our community. I know it won't be easy, but it may well be worth it!
This has nothing to do with the video, but my partner just made the following joke; "I went to a dyslexic autistic class, but there was nothing but painting there"
Lovely, and such an excellent support idea. Thank you so much Mike . I have just had an experiance, in a small town near where I live they have a Mind Support place. I went in to ask if any of their theropists had experiance with Autism. They said no but just up the road is a cafe, were they hold support groups. Its an on line zoom but its a start.
It's better to walk alone in peace than in bad company and strife. Great stuff Mike. I'm starting to think that allistic and autistic people simply relate to one another differently. From what I can tell, allistic social interaction centers on covert competition. They attempt to climb petty pecking orders using put-downs, gossip, and bullying. A sure sign that they want to include you in their group is ruthless teasing. You are expected to play along, and respect those at the top of the hierachy by showing submissive behavior, and following their lead, being careful not embarass them as they attempt to embarass and humilate you in their dominance posturing displays. This never made sense to me, and still catches me off-gaurd. I ran into a nieghbor while riding an electric assist bicycle. My bike is new and and high-tech, his is an old beach cruiser. - These bikes are heavy and slow, and as low-tech as a bicycle gets. They are the epitome of cool at Southern California beaches. I said "Hi" and the first thing out of his mouth was: "I see you're riding that cheater bike again" .. I thought to myself: "WTF???" ...followed by not knowing what to say in response. I was happy to see the guy, and he comes at me with an insulting put-down / challenge. My mind started racing through what I should say in response as we waited for a break in traffic to cross the 4 lane road we'd both stopped at. My focus was thus divided - trying not to get splattered crossing the street, while mentally caluculating how I should respond to his challenge. Before I could respond, he suddenly BOLTED across the road, narrowly missing several cars, leaving me standing flaberghasted on my bike at the stop sign! I thought to myself: "That's how you get killed on a bicycle" In his mind it was a RACE to see who could cross the street FIRST, and he risked his LIFE to beat me to the other side. I geuss this made him feel powerful and dominant. Years ago I introduced him to my girfreind who happens to be 20 years younger than me. She's a beautiful (and nuerodivergent) woman. His reponse afterwards was to remark on our age difference - in an envious mannar - rather than on his impression of her as a person. "She's so young..." was all he said. Again I got the sense that he was jealous of the fact I had a beautiful young companion, and this somehow was a competition between me and him and his wife. (So wierd) He's not a bad guy. He's got a wife and kids and a multi million dollar beach home, and he grew up in LA's South Bay, where the culture is dominated by team sports and athletics like Beach Vollyball. He works hard to support his family, and I respect and admire him. But EVERYTHING is a competition to these people! EVERYTHING. It's exhausting to be around them, because they don't have interests for their own sake - they have them as vehicles to compete, and they form gangs to comepete with rival gangs. I've never understood this, and always hated team (gang) sports. Autistic people pursue things for their own sake. Out of love for the thing or activity or expereince itself. We don't form gangs. We relate to each other through "paralell play" - Like your astronomy group - each member staring silently at their own patch of sky, and inviting others to see something extraordinary from time to time. Autistic people can be competitive. But it's not generally what DRIVES us. Autistic competition tends to be internal with ourselves, and it revolves around attempting to be better at our interests directly, not at humilitaing or putting others down as a means to advance socially. We try to improve regardless of any social benefit, often in complete social isolation. We do this because we seek to master subjects that grab out monofocued attention tunnells. For the joy this brings. We do not as a rule see the success of other in this regard as coming at our expense. Envy and jealousy might be present sometimes. But they rarely rise to the level of resentment because they are not what motivate us. Love is what motivates us. A form of love that doesn't have a word for it the way friendship (fila) romance (eros) or love for people (agape) do. To give something a name is to make it real. To bring it into existence. We need a word for our intense love of our interests. "Special Interests" misses the mark by trivializing and infantilizing our most fundamental motivation. Allistic people and the social environments they create are generally dangerous to autistic people. Once I understood this, I stopped tring to fit into groups and social organizations dominated by them. This comes at the cost of social isolation - But it's better to walk alone in peace than in bad company and strife. It also gives me the time and space necessary to fully explore and engage with what brings me the most peace and joy.
@TheWilliamHoganExperience OMG ! I am crying! You literally just summarized my life in your comments. Maybe a more personal comment, how old are you ? and how much time did you get to come to such understanding of self and of allistic people ? Sorry, I am asking because I have not yet seen this level of self-aware and my mind is blown :) I just turned 30 and am undiagnosed. But researching a bit about the topic and especially reading such comments, things start to come full circle...So much so that I can feel in my bones the stuff you wrote in your comment....This constant and omnipresent covert competition in all aspects of life (workplace, social circles, etc.), and this lack of doing activities (hobbies, career) for their own sake or virtues...make me sick sometimes. OMG, I am going to print your comment and post to my bedroom wall or something!!! Cheers
I would've loved this video when i was a much younger outcast at school. When i knew i was different and couldn't form connections, i think it would've helped a lot
I really hated that fake stock image photo of people smiling. It reminds that that via advertising we are constantly bombarded with these images of feshisized, hyper exagerated “moments” that don’t exist in order to sell us stuff
Hey, we are similar ❤.. just realised that yeah, this is the way I socialise.. funny isn't it..? But so content doing this kind of social interactions.. love your vid 💖
Thanks Mike for another gorgeous video. As a recently diagnosed high masking adult my stims have always been covert. I actually found myself flapping my hands with Joy watching this without realising. That is a new experience for me. The "1 in 36" are truly blessed to have Mike like beacons to help light the way. Thankyou.
I'm a woman diagnosed at 35, a few years ago and recently fired for being autistic. I wish I knew when I was younger. I would have researched what professions have the most neurodivergent people and gone that route to not be constantly discriminated against. Don't go into healthcare. It's the least accepting of people with disabilities
I work in the health care field doing data analysis, looking at diagnosis rates for white boys between the ages of 10-14, the prevalence is much higher than previously thought! 9% Autism 7% ADHD 4% Both Autism and ADHD 12% Either Autism or ADHD 18% Any kind of neurodivergence (inc Tourettes, Dyslexia ect) 9% for Autism sounds high, but if you think about it, in a classroom you would have say 2 to 3 Autistic children per class. Anecdotally, that seems about correct when you consider the whole spectrum.
if you make some 1 in 36 merchandise that would be cool. I would ware a baseball cap or a patch or even a t-shirt. Maybe start with stickers to scale into it. Keep on keeping on. Also, I bet that autism in females is equal and is only different when a population has artificially favored males. Like in china there are more males because of past laws. So this is interesting in a statistical sort of way for sure. 🖖
Jaaa...mine will be october 25 finally, after 3,5 years of waiting and being 49 then. But just because I am able to pay myself then, local specialized ambulance....I don't know when they will open their schedule again. The last years they haven't. Tried all over the country... The just take patients from their district😢
3,5 years of waiting... Good grief... May I ask where you will be assessed? Going by your name you are also from Germany. I will send out my questionnaires tomorrow and I'm already anxious to find out how long my waiting time will be.
Side note before watching the video: 0:24 [Where are they?] Their all in Arkansas, with me! I know we autists stick together, but there is simply NO WAY that its only %2.77778 of the population here.... The more I learn about it (approaching 3 years of constant research) the more I am simultaneously absolutely certian it's a higher % & utterly confused about how so many people in my life seem to be undiagnosed auti's.... I cant figure out if it's my autustic inability to seperate myself from others (lack of ego) or if I'm really on to something with there simply being a significantly higher rate of those with nuerodivergent genetics that settled in this part of the Americas. I could write a book about the crossover between autistic traits & the culture here in the southern midwest! It's a constant perplexity for me!!!🤪
Also autistic friendly: Furries. (at least half are at least neurospicy) I guess you have a point about social norms suspended by environmental conditions - fursuiting fits the pattern, too. It's a nice level playing field - neurodivergent or not doesn't make as much of a difference - everyone must put in conscious effort to adapt to different styles of communication.
I've been saying this for awhile now - if you were a scientist or a doctor researching a "new condition", wouldn't you look at the most obvious displays of traits, the loudest and most visible? When it comes to something like autism, where the characteristics can be masked, I think it makes perfect sense that the scientists saw the most outwardly affected people first, but when you take a more nuanced look beneath the surface, you find a lot more of us than you thought there were.
My theory why females were overlooked in autism for such a long time is the upbringing. We were taught not to behave like boys. We weren't supposed to be loud or fidgety. I guess those were the first steps that led to masking and suppressed stimming. Hopefully there will be more and more awareness in future, so girls don't have to deal with 'You can't be autistic, it's a male thing'.
@@plutoniumlollie9574 It's not only girls that fell through the cracks with this sort of presentation (I'm male with a typically female presentation), so there are more things at play than only female socialization patterns, but I hope things will be better for the next generation. No one should have to go through what we did.
@@CardinalTreehouse I'm sorry, although it was phrased like this, I didn't mean to say that it's just females who were overlooked. There's still a big lack of knowledge about autism. Even within the medical professionals. But hey, I'm proud of our community, that makes sure that we're heard more and more, so that future generations have it easier 😊
@plutoniumlollie9574 It's OK, I didn't take it as meaning ONLY girls could be overlooked, just wanted to add my two cents. We are all in this together :)
Yes, I see them all the time as well. All over the spectrum… I don’t know why others don’t see them, probably because we were able to see ourselves. Do you see through masks thanks for the video
Girls and young women are universally loved, so if anyone notices their unusual behaviour, they just let it slide. As they get older, they lose the youthfulness privilege and people around are not letting it slide anymore. As a result, questions arise and can lead to discovery of a condition that has always been there but was treated differently.
@@andybreadley429 It has more to do with the fact that society expects girls and young women to be quiet, bookish, and clever. A withdrawn, shy girl is "demure" while a withdrawn, shy boy is "weak."
@@andybreadley429 No one expects anything? Even if that were true _today_ it's not historically relevant to say that. Most people grew up in a sea of expectations. I've seen plenty of girls admonished for being too loud, too active, or otherwise unlady-like. That's how generations have grown up. I have no idea what, or where, your experience originates, but it's fairly unique compared to the rest of us.
@@drtaverner Idk how it's unique. True, they were less loud in the school as far as I remember, but boys were chastised for being boys. That aside, just go outside and look how people act in regular life, in public spaces. Groups of girls are no less loud than groups of boys.
I like that we are the watches, thinkers and observers, it sums me right up 🩷✨ I like being a loner but at the same time I do wish that I could find more community, but I am so scared it hurts 😢
This video felt like a hug 🫂 ❤
😊
Indeed
Yes😊!
Before I got my autism diagnosis, I felt so dang broken and like I didn't belong. I had a group of regular friends (many of whom it turns are also autistic), but they were the only ones who understood me. Ironically, since my diagnosis I've been better able to connect with my colleagues at work because people, including me, now understand me better.
Note: I also have ADHD and I'm the chatty kind of autistic person. The type who just keeps infodumping and monologuing.
My son got back from camping and happily told me he had reconnected with an old friend who now has a job mapping the geology of Mars. She sounds like the perfect friend for him.
Tha sounds like an awesome job
This is a beautiful and moving video. Thank you for asking, "what about the girls?" Also, thank you for creating this little corner of the internet!
Thank YOU, Erica! I’m glad you’re here. 🧡
A very lovely video, and thank gawd for our special interests. My love for the arts saved my life 🧡
Self identified at 56, just some months ago. I always felt broken, a failure. Now I finally know better.
I feel the same way. I'm in this process at 52 and I'm glad to find out we're not alone in this. 🧡 Your name sounds Dutch 🤓 My husband is from Den Haag. 👋🏼
@@mimiwaldorf7431 yes im dutch
@@maikvanlommel7573 Ah leuk 😊 Groeten uit Duitsland. 👋🏼
Lots of love
This brought tears to my eyes! Indeed, we are not alone.
Thank you, Katie! We are not alone. 🧡
Thank you for being inclusive to girls/women in this beautifully put video. I was diagnosed as autistic two days ago, and I am 41-years-old. My interests in art and the history of everyday people have been still hard to navigate as someone who doesn't understand typical female social norms. I always got along much better with males, but that can present its own social problems. How females and minority groups fit into both the data and the social realm is a complex and important topic.
Thank you, Holly 🧡
as a girl diagnosted in my early 20's my experience from early childhood to early adulthood was watching kids playing on playgrounds but never being able to participate or watching my classmates in uni in associations and commities but being left out or judge so hardly when ever i tried to participate in some extracureculum activities it's like being very close and far at the same time
Lovely. Before viewing, even though I knew what the statistic referred to, my mind was going "1 in 36 - is that double 1? Double 6? 2 on the red die and 3 on the green? I wonder how many ways I can define it?" - then I started watching, and everything calmed down. A quiet moment for my racing brain. Thank you so much for that, for the poetry in your words, for sharing, for being inclusive. I've saved it to my autism playlist (which is normally for info I want to review), as a reminder to take the occasional breather.
Cracking video essay expressing a beautiful sentiment. Amongst your finest work my friend 💜😸
Beautifully crafted video, Mike. Images expertly matched with the music . You had me tearing up - in a good way. Were those forest shots on the island? It's so beautiful!
Where were the girls? Oh, we were star gazing, too. Or out bird watching or busy being a band-nerd in the school concert band and orchestra rehearsals. Or chilling at home, sitting in a fork of a backyard gum tree, reading a book, watching the ants, or the clouds. At least, that was my experience!
✨ 🦅 🪈 📖 🐜 ☁️ sounds like a good time! 🧡
Chillin in the niche communities is definitely a thing
💯
Lovely video Mike. Passions and interests are a much easier way to get to know other. I dont feel broken anymore, this community is the best. 😊
Passions and interests smooth the way for sure! This community is the best! 😊
This video made me cry, thank you. I’m deeply touched.
Great video Mike, concise and encompassing (if that is the correct term for it).
Thank you so much 😊 🧡
I am 51 years old and I have an appointment at the local university hospital for an autism assessment in ... 2027. Until then, I just assume that my self-assessment is correct.
Thanks for the video, it made me feel less lonely. 🙂
An appointment 3 years in the future? What a messed up health system is that!
Self assessment is more accurate than formal diagnosis.
@@foljs5858 I could go private and it would be faster, but also expensive -- this way it is free for me. Autism assessments for adults are almost impossible to get where I live.
@@foljs5858 The upside is, it's free. Going private might be faster, but expensive. Autism assessments for adults are not a priority in my country, and very few psychologist/psychiatrists specialized in this. They are booked out for years.
@@Touay. It depends on where you live and how good the diagnoser (for lack of a better term) is
Tingles at the end! This was a lovely video, thank you Mike. 💚
I've come to accept that people come & go from my life & are very rarely permanent fixtures I can rely on - even when I think I've found my tribe. This quote from one of my favourite films (Croupier) helps me to rationalise change & loss "Hold on tightly. Let go lightly"
I love the analogy of the river as I feel I have lived my whole life just under the surface only occasionally able to come to the surface for a breath of fresh air. The problem with being in the river though is that you constantly feel like you're drowning and no-one is noticing 😢. So we mask by coming to the surface trying to swim with everyone else but no matter how much we know that going with the flow would be easier every fibre of your being wants to swim upstream...the struggle is so real ...
Thank you very much for this video. I’m not sure if I’m ND myself, but many experiences of neurodivergent people online resonate with me on a deep level. That feeling of being alone, feeling that no one truly understands you - that feeling is part of my life. Your videos help me feel seen and understood. Sorry if my English is bad, it’s not my native language (передаю привет всем русскоговорящим, кто читает этот комментарий!)
Вам здесь очень рады (и у вас хороший английский).🧡
@@Autistic_AF ohhh, thanks :)
@@Autistic_AF omg thanks for responding! :)
@@Autistic_AFthat was a kind move of You, Mike, to translate😊
Apreciate that!
1:39 The 1:4 female:male ratio is an old statistic. IIRC, the current ratio for people just now getting diagnoses is around 1:2.
I'll also note that among channels doing significant amounts of autism self-advocacy (or entirely devoted to that purpose), the rate on TH-cam seems to be heavily skewed in favor of females.
I’ve definitely noticed the latter- I think it is because females being more likely to have to self-diagnose have had to find homes here. And the content is more relatable to them as a result. Generally speaking, of course.
@@sirbradfordofhousejones Also, I have a hunch that females are significantly less likely have intellectual disabilities/language communication barriers. Advocacy appeals much more naturally to them.
None of my old friend group is AUD or ADHD and I am finding being around them is not so fun for me anymore. I dont like to mask and I used to be the life of a party and it was exhausting. I agree, finding people who like what you like is a great way for making friends. You already have some built in commonalities and they might treasure your collected information. Is the song you played Gaga? Would you mind sharing it? So lovely! Also, I am a 55 year old female.
Hello Jennifer! I’m glad you’re here, and thank you for sharing your thoughts too. 🧡. The song is, “Happy Loner” by MARINA.
I never had the friendships I needed, the ones I did have almost never maintained for long, the slings and arrows in my back were intense. I was not only the "loner" I was the "loser" even though I was good with education, my medical and mental issues left me battered, rejected, and harmed by those I befriended. Self hatred feeding self hatred, I felt like I was broken, for things we now know are my tourettes and autism. Girls were not accepted with this conditions, many times I realized the outsiders, the goths, the emos, the girls who were absolutely done with socializing at least where I was, often had these kinda intense struggles.
I had a group of doctors tell me they thought I was autistic when I was 11, I was in a horrible and abusive hell hole of a school, to those who know anything about the private schools for natives children in the USA and Canada that are now defunct, their goal, their job was to basically indoctrinate our culture out of us, to push manifest destiny and convince us we were savages.
As the pale kid in the native school (diagnosed in 2020 with a newly discovered form of albino condition, I was violently and horrifically bullied by both students and staff, I was afraid of the school knowing I was autistic so much, that I convinced myself it was not possible and convinced my parents not to pursue it.
Looking back I realize how hard it was for a girl in my position to get the doctors to say I was autistic, getting the full diagnosis now is so complicated it is not even funny, but I will keep holding on and take this route.
It was in 2019 I found my nerd online community, it was the first time I truly felt like I belonged anywhere, unfortunately most of them turned out to be two faced and I was put through a lot for my issues, I even had one woman I befriended clipping me ticcing and spasming backstage and share it our mutuals claiming I told her how I "fake my tics." I got rid of her, and things moved on but she was not the worst, I had one attack me several times, she stalked, harassed, blasted, and went after me constantly despite me doing NOTHING to her but being kind and generous. So right after my father passed WHILE I was dealing with losing him, she decided I was "evil" for not letting people talk about her positively on my streams (rule is we don't talk about people who are not there, unless to promote and help them, and mentioning her at all was banned because I am not promoting someone who did this stuff to me, but I didn't want to hurt her) So she decided while I was hurting, while I was mourning, that she was going to "debunk" my tics, she literally did a livestream deep diving through my old videos and streams and mocking my tics, and even would try to act them out laughing demonically about it.
There is a positive in this mess, I made during all this, 3 friends who I never expected to make, one my best friend in south Brittan, he would be there for me through EVERYTHING and we helped each other through losing out fathers. He is a wonderful guy and works full time as an in home carer for his disabled veteran mother. Two my protector from Canada, he found me on a stream when I was ticcing hard and I was trying to explain to the panel my brain issues and my seizure damage and brain scars. During this time, he was going through brain cancer, and we connected on joking and supporting each other through our mutual "brain damage" loving teasing both ways and protective. He has helped me through so much, and both of these guys send me gifts and support all the time (no they are not flirting, in fact they are also friends with my husband and give him gifts as well). 3rd is a friend I made through this online community, that I found out lives nearby, like for real about a 30 minute drive to his place. I ended up being friends with him and his wife, very sweet people. I spent a lot of time with him in person, he is my safety friend, as he is a professional carer for high needs spectrum and adults with severe medical and mental disabilities. He is not only super chill to hang out with, but he actually helps keep me safe while we hang out. He and his wife, are going with me and my husband to a comedy show in a few weeks, and he is going to (free of charge) give me full carer access for the night, to help make sure I am safe in the crowd with my tics and spasms.
The lesson I guess, the struggle is real for most of us, but after almost 41 years on this planet, I finally feel like I have a small group (hubby, best friend, brain buddy, carer and his wife) who actually legitly accept me and love me autistic and tourettes and all.
And your community is making it feel like that tiny bubble is finally expanding, much love your video touched me deeply.
❤
@RosettaAllen, thanks for sharing your super hard story here with us. I cannot find words to express my feelings about your school experiences. It is indigenous knowledge and wisdom we need more than ever now as we face so many environmental challenges. To think that colonisers worked so hard to stamp this out is sickening. It happened here in Australia, too. But please know that you are valued. I really enjoy spending time reading your posts on Discord and especially seeing your beautiful photographs. 🫂🦅
@@pardalote aww bless you
We are the watchers. Also, my diving frequently occurred out of aircraft. Felt so comfortable around them. Now wondering how many of those friends were/are neurodivergent.
Too much? 🫣 😂
😂
Thank you for such beautiful analogies relaying to female Autism. I inly got my diagnosis at 48 and my ADHD diagnosis 2 years later. Actually my ADHD diagnosis only came 2 days ago. Thank you for a very timely reminder that we are a community, and we can find community in our passions.
Thank you, Ruth! Congratulations on the ADHD 🎂
Thank you so much for this film
It feels so good that you show this to the world
I feel great recognition.
I hope I found the right words.
English is not my first language 😊
You always make me feel seen and give me hope, thank you so much. I love 1 in 36, a much better label.
I love this video
@@General_Otter Thank you, 🦦 🧡
Love this. Thank you. I am one who has had several groups over the years but honestly, they always seem to fade away, whether by others getting enough of me and leaving or my own defense mechanisms of ending things when I am no longer able to cope.
thank you i needed this today
also, I think Id like a T-shirt saying simply 1 out of 36. Maybe I'll make one.
I want to see the design you come up with!
@@Autistic_AF The first one is very simple, maroon shirt with 1 in 36 in white letters. Now my brain is swirling in images to create the same basic idea but with various "things" making up the letters and numbers. I'll let you know if I make anything sharable.
A T-shirt 🎉 1 out of 36 Club 🎉❤
I love the idea!
Thank you so much for this, Mike. It's beautiful and perfect and just what I needed right now. 🐱
Absolutely amazing video, thanks Mike!
36 is my favorite number. I love it. It feels so perfect to me. ♥
Thank you Mike for this wonderful encouraging video. Soothing for my autistic heart and soul ❤ Just what I need 🙏🏻
Bravo! Bravo! Well done, you!
Thank you! 🥥 🧡
That was beautifully expressed. And I can identify with this. I never had deep friendships in school, or in the work place. but now that I am in my 60's I have found a close group of good friends and it is comforting. I still enjoy my sanctuary with my cat Sophie, but i love spending time with my friends too.
Thank you, Evelyn. I wish you and Sophie all the love in the world.
Thank you, Mike, for your video message.
Thank you, Mike. This gives me hope. 🌻 🫶🏼
Being trans practically all my friends are autistic and ADHD because that's how trans communities be, to the point where they're doing studies on it.
I know many, many trans people and seldom meet a trans person who isn't autistic.
The communities I'm in are very open and queer-affirming.
I love this so much, thank you. At the moment I am working hard to make an ND community in my workplace, and it is hard work but beautiful.
I’m going to share this with my sister, who is at the start of her Autism discovery journey.
Truly beautiful Mike!
Thank you❤ Perfect!
That was awesome, Mike! [Tears]
Thank you, Scott 🧡
Such a thoughtful and beautiful video ❤
50, no partner, no friends. not capable of meaningful emotional interaction. just the way it is for me.
@Touay. aww 🧡
@@Autistic_AF sorry dude, but I do not know what that means.
I am not saying it for sympathy, but I cannot be the only person in this particular boat. Knowing that there are others in the same situation, somehow makes it easier, so I posted in the hope that others may feel a little better about things.
@@bluecheesehasmoldinit Thanks BlueCheese. I am doing therapy, so maybe i will learn how to do better, but who knows. Good to hear you have one friend.
btw ... hmm, stilton!! 🙂
@Touay I can relate.
Yep. I am not too bad at "making friends" (not really friends, more people to talk too, do things together, don't know an english word for it.).
But I know they just like the fassade.
The moment I open up it's like they see something disgusting and are away.
So I just am not interested any more, as it costs me too much energy.
Same with love affairs, see no sense in investing more for that poor outcome. I prefer then not having s*x with someone else, but live in peace for the rest of the time and just do my things.
I know if I want I could go out, smile, be funny and then get some "friends" or affairs.
I am just tired of the sort of people that like my fassade.
And unfortunatly the people I find interesting have their people.
Younger me thought from time to time "take what You can get and drink/drug them funny/interesting enough".
But getting older I am just so bored of it.
Maybe I am an arrogant asshole, but I am just not interested in hanging out with boring, unintelligent, uninspiring people.
And to be poor almost all my adult life limited me a lot unfortunatly.
If You can't pay tickets AND babysitters for example You can't meet people with same interests.
And now that I have the money my body is old and my mind just so exhausted.
Let's see, it's just three month, maybe I recover.
I just watched this and didn't realise how much I needed it right now. I recently joined a local Kayak club, and it's great, also started to go to speedcubing competitions (solving a rubiks cube fast) and I have definitely fpund my teibe in these places, just needed a reminder. :)
Lovely photos and sentiment and encouragement! Thank you.
This is really beautiful, Mike. I found similar solace in boardgames and the amazing community around that.
Thank you, Jensen. Board games are cool, too!
Thank you for this video, it definitely made me cry as I've been searching for acceptance and belonging my whole life.. And even though there's some heavy darkness to come up from, I'm starting to have moments where I actually do believe there's hope in the future.. That I just haven't found my people yet, but it's easy to fall back into thinking I have no people, so yeah, it goes up and down like everything else I guess.. So thank you for the extremely important message that we're not alone! 💜✨️
Awh Helli, that’s so kind of you - you’ve found us 🧡🐈⬛. You are not alone!
That was really nice.
This video is spot on matching the thoughts I'm having the last days. I have a NT friend who I share some interests with, like listening to music with some nice high quality equipment. At the same time it's hard to explain to him, that I can't always handle the loud af offbeat black metal which he loves so much.
It would be nice to have an autistic friend who doesn't always needs explanations, but just knows why things are the way they are. Also it may help with unmasking. And I like the thought of having somebody to stim with.
But I'm not ready yet for something like discord. So I remain lonely for a little bit longer.
It's the first time I want to thank someone who made me cry. 😬😭🙏🏼 We are not alone. 🧡🌈
I am a late diagnosed female, at 50 years of age. 2:01 My autism was easily recognized when I got to the intake session. It took the lady five minutes to refer me for a formal diagnosis here in Scandinavia. My shared passion growing up was music, drum and bugle corps, high school band, college band…
This was so lovely, thank you.
Thank you, Heather 🧡
This is the first time I've felt hopeful in months, thank you 💜
Happy for you. Hasn't worked that way for me. 53 now and ditched my last friend a year ago. Never going back.
That was healing. Finding community is the big thing I am working on right now, so this gave a good solid dose of hope. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Better than most vids on this subject! ❤️
Amazing! Well spoken. I am retired now and live in a retirement community. I recently was speaking with a friend who started to ask me about autism. He believes he may be autistic as well. We are considering starting a club in our community. I know it won't be easy, but it may well be worth it!
Well I'm ugly crying now
This has nothing to do with the video, but my partner just made the following joke; "I went to a dyslexic autistic class, but there was nothing but painting there"
😂😂
Lovely, and such an excellent support idea. Thank you so much Mike .
I have just had an experiance, in a small town near where I live they have a Mind Support place. I went in to ask if any of their theropists had experiance with Autism. They said no but just up the road is a cafe, were they hold support groups. Its an on line zoom but its a start.
It's better to walk alone in peace than in bad company and strife.
Great stuff Mike. I'm starting to think that allistic and autistic people simply relate to one another differently. From what I can tell, allistic social interaction centers on covert competition. They attempt to climb petty pecking orders using put-downs, gossip, and bullying. A sure sign that they want to include you in their group is ruthless teasing. You are expected to play along, and respect those at the top of the hierachy by showing submissive behavior, and following their lead, being careful not embarass them as they attempt to embarass and humilate you in their dominance posturing displays.
This never made sense to me, and still catches me off-gaurd. I ran into a nieghbor while riding an electric assist bicycle. My bike is new and and high-tech, his is an old beach cruiser. - These bikes are heavy and slow, and as low-tech as a bicycle gets. They are the epitome of cool at Southern California beaches.
I said "Hi" and the first thing out of his mouth was:
"I see you're riding that cheater bike again"
.. I thought to myself:
"WTF???"
...followed by not knowing what to say in response. I was happy to see the guy, and he comes at me with an insulting put-down / challenge. My mind started racing through what I should say in response as we waited for a break in traffic to cross the 4 lane road we'd both stopped at. My focus was thus divided - trying not to get splattered crossing the street, while mentally caluculating how I should respond to his challenge. Before I could respond, he suddenly BOLTED across the road, narrowly missing several cars, leaving me standing flaberghasted on my bike at the stop sign! I thought to myself:
"That's how you get killed on a bicycle"
In his mind it was a RACE to see who could cross the street FIRST, and he risked his LIFE to beat me to the other side. I geuss this made him feel powerful and dominant. Years ago I introduced him to my girfreind who happens to be 20 years younger than me. She's a beautiful (and nuerodivergent) woman. His reponse afterwards was to remark on our age difference - in an envious mannar - rather than on his impression of her as a person. "She's so young..." was all he said. Again I got the sense that he was jealous of the fact I had a beautiful young companion, and this somehow was a competition between me and him and his wife.
(So wierd)
He's not a bad guy. He's got a wife and kids and a multi million dollar beach home, and he grew up in LA's South Bay, where the culture is dominated by team sports and athletics like Beach Vollyball. He works hard to support his family, and I respect and admire him. But EVERYTHING is a competition to these people! EVERYTHING. It's exhausting to be around them, because they don't have interests for their own sake - they have them as vehicles to compete, and they form gangs to comepete with rival gangs.
I've never understood this, and always hated team (gang) sports.
Autistic people pursue things for their own sake. Out of love for the thing or activity or expereince itself. We don't form gangs. We relate to each other through "paralell play" - Like your astronomy group - each member staring silently at their own patch of sky, and inviting others to see something extraordinary from time to time. Autistic people can be competitive. But it's not generally what DRIVES us. Autistic competition tends to be internal with ourselves, and it revolves around attempting to be better at our interests directly, not at humilitaing or putting others down as a means to advance socially. We try to improve regardless of any social benefit, often in complete social isolation. We do this because we seek to master subjects that grab out monofocued attention tunnells. For the joy this brings.
We do not as a rule see the success of other in this regard as coming at our expense. Envy and jealousy might be present sometimes. But they rarely rise to the level of resentment because they are not what motivate us. Love is what motivates us. A form of love that doesn't have a word for it the way friendship (fila) romance (eros) or love for people (agape) do. To give something a name is to make it real. To bring it into existence.
We need a word for our intense love of our interests. "Special Interests" misses the mark by trivializing and infantilizing our most fundamental motivation.
Allistic people and the social environments they create are generally dangerous to autistic people. Once I understood this, I stopped tring to fit into groups and social organizations dominated by them. This comes at the cost of social isolation -
But it's better to walk alone in peace than in bad company and strife. It also gives me the time and space necessary to fully explore and engage with what brings me the most peace and joy.
Thank you for posting this thoughtful comment. I've been thinking about this recently, and this helps me.
@TheWilliamHoganExperience
OMG ! I am crying! You literally just summarized my life in your comments.
Maybe a more personal comment, how old are you ? and how much time did you get to come to such understanding of self and of allistic people ? Sorry, I am asking because I have not yet seen this level of self-aware and my mind is blown :)
I just turned 30 and am undiagnosed. But researching a bit about the topic and especially reading such comments, things start to come full circle...So much so that I can feel in my bones the stuff you wrote in your comment....This constant and omnipresent covert competition in all aspects of life (workplace, social circles, etc.), and this lack of doing activities (hobbies, career) for their own sake or virtues...make me sick sometimes.
OMG, I am going to print your comment and post to my bedroom wall or something!!!
Cheers
I would've loved this video when i was a much younger outcast at school. When i knew i was different and couldn't form connections, i think it would've helped a lot
I really hated that fake stock image photo of people smiling. It reminds that that via advertising we are constantly bombarded with these images of feshisized, hyper exagerated “moments” that don’t exist in order to sell us stuff
@@jonahblock Exactly 🧡
Thank you for this 🖖
I'm a star in the sky. Nice😊
This is really poetic and beautiful ☺️
Thanks, Mike. 💖
Beautiful sentiment.
Hey, we are similar ❤.. just realised that yeah, this is the way I socialise.. funny isn't it..? But so content doing this kind of social interactions.. love your vid 💖
So beautiful ❤❤ Thank you for this 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thanks Mike for another gorgeous video. As a recently diagnosed high masking adult my stims have always been covert. I actually found myself flapping my hands with Joy watching this without realising. That is a new experience for me. The "1 in 36" are truly blessed to have Mike like beacons to help light the way. Thankyou.
Such a beautiful video.
I'm a woman diagnosed at 35, a few years ago and recently fired for being autistic. I wish I knew when I was younger. I would have researched what professions have the most neurodivergent people and gone that route to not be constantly discriminated against. Don't go into healthcare. It's the least accepting of people with disabilities
This video warms my heart. Thank you!
Such a great video!
The old you get, the harder it is to make new friends
I really like the stars analogy
I'm with you 🥰
That was beautiful.
I work in the health care field doing data analysis, looking at diagnosis rates for white boys between the ages of 10-14, the prevalence is much higher than previously thought!
9% Autism
7% ADHD
4% Both Autism and ADHD
12% Either Autism or ADHD
18% Any kind of neurodivergence (inc Tourettes, Dyslexia ect)
9% for Autism sounds high, but if you think about it, in a classroom you would have say 2 to 3 Autistic children per class. Anecdotally, that seems about correct when you consider the whole spectrum.
if you make some 1 in 36 merchandise that would be cool. I would ware a baseball cap or a patch or even a t-shirt. Maybe start with stickers to scale into it. Keep on keeping on. Also, I bet that autism in females is equal and is only different when a population has artificially favored males. Like in china there are more males because of past laws. So this is interesting in a statistical sort of way for sure. 🖖
Yes, please, I would buy that!
That was beautiful ❤
🌏💖
Jaaa...mine will be october 25 finally, after 3,5 years of waiting and being 49 then. But just because I am able to pay myself then, local specialized ambulance....I don't know when they will open their schedule again.
The last years they haven't. Tried all over the country...
The just take patients from their district😢
3,5 years of waiting... Good grief... May I ask where you will be assessed? Going by your name you are also from Germany.
I will send out my questionnaires tomorrow and I'm already anxious to find out how long my waiting time will be.
@@plutoniumlollie9574 it's at a Private psychokogist in Bremen who is also autistic.
I live in Berlin.
Side note before watching the video:
0:24 [Where are they?]
Their all in Arkansas, with me!
I know we autists stick together, but there is simply NO WAY that its only %2.77778 of the population here.... The more I learn about it (approaching 3 years of constant research) the more I am simultaneously absolutely certian it's a higher % & utterly confused about how so many people in my life seem to be undiagnosed auti's.... I cant figure out if it's my autustic inability to seperate myself from others (lack of ego) or if I'm really on to something with there simply being a significantly higher rate of those with nuerodivergent genetics that settled in this part of the Americas.
I could write a book about the crossover between autistic traits & the culture here in the southern midwest!
It's a constant perplexity for me!!!🤪
Also autistic friendly: Furries. (at least half are at least neurospicy) I guess you have a point about social norms suspended by environmental conditions - fursuiting fits the pattern, too.
It's a nice level playing field - neurodivergent or not doesn't make as much of a difference - everyone must put in conscious effort to adapt to different styles of communication.
❤
I've been saying this for awhile now - if you were a scientist or a doctor researching a "new condition", wouldn't you look at the most obvious displays of traits, the loudest and most visible? When it comes to something like autism, where the characteristics can be masked, I think it makes perfect sense that the scientists saw the most outwardly affected people first, but when you take a more nuanced look beneath the surface, you find a lot more of us than you thought there were.
My theory why females were overlooked in autism for such a long time is the upbringing. We were taught not to behave like boys. We weren't supposed to be loud or fidgety. I guess those were the first steps that led to masking and suppressed stimming. Hopefully there will be more and more awareness in future, so girls don't have to deal with 'You can't be autistic, it's a male thing'.
@@plutoniumlollie9574 It's not only girls that fell through the cracks with this sort of presentation (I'm male with a typically female presentation), so there are more things at play than only female socialization patterns, but I hope things will be better for the next generation. No one should have to go through what we did.
@@CardinalTreehouse I'm sorry, although it was phrased like this, I didn't mean to say that it's just females who were overlooked. There's still a big lack of knowledge about autism. Even within the medical professionals. But hey, I'm proud of our community, that makes sure that we're heard more and more, so that future generations have it easier 😊
@plutoniumlollie9574 It's OK, I didn't take it as meaning ONLY girls could be overlooked, just wanted to add my two cents. We are all in this together :)
Nice! 😺
Yes, I see them all the time as well. All over the spectrum… I don’t know why others don’t see them, probably because we were able to see ourselves. Do you see through masks thanks for the video
❤️❤️❤️
it's 1 in 36 in children, and given that girls are still under diagnosed, it may be even higher....
Sutch a varming vido Mike🙂!!
I know as many Autistic women as men, it's just that they're often not noticed/diagnosed until 30s and 40s.
Girls and young women are universally loved, so if anyone notices their unusual behaviour, they just let it slide. As they get older, they lose the youthfulness privilege and people around are not letting it slide anymore. As a result, questions arise and can lead to discovery of a condition that has always been there but was treated differently.
@@andybreadley429 It has more to do with the fact that society expects girls and young women to be quiet, bookish, and clever. A withdrawn, shy girl is "demure" while a withdrawn, shy boy is "weak."
@@drtaverner no one expects anything, girls are louder than boys nowadays.
Loud girl = good
Quiet girl = good
'Cause it's a girl
@@andybreadley429 No one expects anything? Even if that were true _today_ it's not historically relevant to say that. Most people grew up in a sea of expectations. I've seen plenty of girls admonished for being too loud, too active, or otherwise unlady-like. That's how generations have grown up. I have no idea what, or where, your experience originates, but it's fairly unique compared to the rest of us.
@@drtaverner Idk how it's unique. True, they were less loud in the school as far as I remember, but boys were chastised for being boys.
That aside, just go outside and look how people act in regular life, in public spaces. Groups of girls are no less loud than groups of boys.
…
I like that we are the watches, thinkers and observers, it sums me right up 🩷✨
I like being a loner but at the same time I do wish that I could find more community, but I am so scared it hurts 😢