How nvc approaches abusive people and narcissists? If I am educated in recognizing abuse and toxicity and want to state that to let him know Ive got it? I believe its hard to do without judgment and I think using specific terms is crucial here. Abusers enjoys inflicting pain and I think nvc is protective here because it never recognize/justify/allow judgment and diagnoses, so these guys feels safe sharing whatever theyve done without negative evaluation from the nvc community and even getting empathy from it presenting themselves as victims and discussing their unmet needs.
Yes I fully agree that this can be a problem amongst NVC practitioners. I think more tools are needed when dealing with abuse and narcissism, some I include in my courses like setting boundaries. Thanks for pointing this out.
I’m glad to hear your humble human experience. Sometimes by following a path of mental health and healing people assume i will act perfectly all the time but sometime the jackal energy comes out of me and although I try to make amends the truth remains, i am human!!
Wow, that’s why mindfulness and meditation practices help so much. Being aware of my sensations makes me pause and gives space to the moment so I respond rather than react. Thank you so much for all you do, you are awesome! 💜
Nonviolent communication is the embodiment of toxic positivity - it is the most profoundly ableist, colonial victim-blaming style of speech there is. The assumptions it makes about human nature and our intentions have made me realize that it is actually violent communication.
I partially agree. There is a huge risk there for those who dont realize NVC assumes that the two people involved have a certain amount of equality. When they do, NVC is amazing. Otherwise, more tools are needed, for example to set boundaries and remove yourself from unhealthy situations. There is awareness of this amongst most trainers, there is also a book called Decolonizing NVC. I dont stand behind every way NVC gets applied. Thank you for drawing attention to this.
The creator of NVC being a "pacemaker" for the country bombing and staging coups with the strongest military power... It's mostly used as "forced compliance under threat of violence"
Thank you for those tips. I am still new to NVC, and I find myself kind of expecting to be perfect at it from the get go. So "being a kind teacher" to myself is definitely something, I have to keep in mind. I also have found myself in situations where I felt hurt and couldn't get myself to apply NVC, because the pain I felt was just somehow too overwhelming. Basically I was too torn between knowing how I should react/what I could actually say and actually going ahead and saying it. So I kind of shut down and got quiet and didn't say anything. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, that being "hurt" or feeling "pain" can also make it really hard to use NVC. Maybe you have some thoughts on that too, or maybe you'd want to talk about that at some point :-) just a suggestion :D Might be more of a minority of people that get hurt rather than angry though :D Most people get angry.
Thank you so much! I really enjoy all your videos. I like your way of talking very much, it makes me want to listen more and more, so I can't stop watching your videos :P do your class all in Dutch? I would like to attend once in English :)
I'm currently developing an online course in English! If you click here you automatically get an email once it's ready! relationshape.activehosted.com/f/17?s=fa48d6bfaa3e0f3dbfa5bc0a350ffd40&nl=1&c=73&m=83
I mean, you ask for a time off, but the other person refuses to let you have one. Becomes especially difficult when you are in the same physical location.
Thank you so much for this, I found it very helpful for me in my communication with family. Do you have any videos that specifically touch on how to to NVC with family members that do not practice NVC?
Hi Abigail, Im actually planning to make one interviewing partners about how it is for the one that does not practice NVC (yet). I will be asking them advice on how to approach them. Can you tell me what struggles you have so I might be able to include this in the video?
Cup of Empathy, that is so awesome! Looking forward to seeing it! As far as specifics, my father and I have a complicated dynamic because of the religious choices he holds and a lot of his wants and needs have to do with me not choosing his same religious choices. When I do my best to share with him that I am soverign and that I re spect his choices but also have a need for him to do the same for me, he is not able to meet that need. Its like a space where we have identified eachothers needs and have realized we can not meet them. Moving forward from this point is very hard for me and if there is an NVC appoach to help this dynamic I am cery interested in what that would be ❤ thank you for your time and channel 🌼
@@enamored1 It's not about the quality, but the distraction. I find it harder to follow the narration like that. And if it's about the music, I enjoy it more without narration ...
I had a similar concern but wasn't entirely sure what I think/feel about it and didn't want to say anything until I have thought more deeply about it. If it's a topic you're passionate about, I challenge you to translate your original statement into a "Giraffe request." You're more likely to be heard that way.
One shouldn't assume the anger is PMS, no. But I'm actually here because my hormones go so wild during PMS, I needed something about 'bouts of anger' which don't happen when I'm not having PMS. So there are legit cases where women definitely have PMS issues affecting their usual communication.
Cup of Empathy, okay. Thank you for doing what you do. I feel glad and relieved when I see your videos because I need solidarity in the social movement towards more compassion and emotional wisdom. And I see your videos in your actions as being a source of solidarity. So thank you again.
How nvc approaches abusive people and narcissists? If I am educated in recognizing abuse and toxicity and want to state that to let him know Ive got it? I believe its hard to do without judgment and I think using specific terms is crucial here. Abusers enjoys inflicting pain and I think nvc is protective here because it never recognize/justify/allow judgment and diagnoses, so these guys feels safe sharing whatever theyve done without negative evaluation from the nvc community and even getting empathy from it presenting themselves as victims and discussing their unmet needs.
Yes I fully agree that this can be a problem amongst NVC practitioners. I think more tools are needed when dealing with abuse and narcissism, some I include in my courses like setting boundaries. Thanks for pointing this out.
I’m glad to hear your humble human experience. Sometimes by following a path of mental health and healing people assume i will act perfectly all the time but sometime the jackal energy comes out of me and although I try to make amends the truth remains, i am human!!
I love your videos ! I really prefer to have the video with out with music ! Lili
“Be a kind teacher to yourself.” ❤️
Wow, that’s why mindfulness and meditation practices help so much. Being aware of my sensations makes me pause and gives space to the moment so I respond rather than react. Thank you so much for all you do, you are awesome! 💜
Thanks for sharing!!
Nonviolent communication is the embodiment of toxic positivity - it is the most profoundly ableist, colonial victim-blaming style of speech there is. The assumptions it makes about human nature and our intentions have made me realize that it is actually violent communication.
I partially agree. There is a huge risk there for those who dont realize NVC assumes that the two people involved have a certain amount of equality. When they do, NVC is amazing. Otherwise, more tools are needed, for example to set boundaries and remove yourself from unhealthy situations. There is awareness of this amongst most trainers, there is also a book called Decolonizing NVC. I dont stand behind every way NVC gets applied. Thank you for drawing attention to this.
The creator of NVC being a "pacemaker" for the country bombing and staging coups with the strongest military power...
It's mostly used as "forced compliance under threat of violence"
Thank you for those tips. I am still new to NVC, and I find myself kind of expecting to be perfect at it from the get go. So "being a kind teacher" to myself is definitely something, I have to keep in mind.
I also have found myself in situations where I felt hurt and couldn't get myself to apply NVC, because the pain I felt was just somehow too overwhelming. Basically I was too torn between knowing how I should react/what I could actually say and actually going ahead and saying it. So I kind of shut down and got quiet and didn't say anything.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, that being "hurt" or feeling "pain" can also make it really hard to use NVC. Maybe you have some thoughts on that too, or maybe you'd want to talk about that at some point :-) just a suggestion :D
Might be more of a minority of people that get hurt rather than angry though :D Most people get angry.
thanks for sharing and your suggestion!
This is so helpful. Please keep them coming!
Thank you!
Thank you so much! I really enjoy all your videos. I like your way of talking very much, it makes me want to listen more and more, so I can't stop watching your videos :P do your class all in Dutch? I would like to attend once in English :)
I'm currently developing an online course in English! If you click here you automatically get an email once it's ready!
relationshape.activehosted.com/f/17?s=fa48d6bfaa3e0f3dbfa5bc0a350ffd40&nl=1&c=73&m=83
Excellent suggestions!!!
Glad you like them!
Hi, I’ve been looking for Rosenberg clips where he suggests breaking up (ie examples where NVC does not work). Have you encountered any?
Would you have any tips for situations when the other person does not want to let you take a time off?
I mean, you ask for a time off, but the other person refuses to let you have one. Becomes especially difficult when you are in the same physical location.
Thank you so much for this, I found it very helpful for me in my communication with family. Do you have any videos that specifically touch on how to to NVC with family members that do not practice NVC?
Hi Abigail, Im actually planning to make one interviewing partners about how it is for the one that does not practice NVC (yet). I will be asking them advice on how to approach them. Can you tell me what struggles you have so I might be able to include this in the video?
Cup of Empathy, that is so awesome! Looking forward to seeing it! As far as specifics, my father and I have a complicated dynamic because of the religious choices he holds and a lot of his wants and needs have to do with me not choosing his same religious choices. When I do my best to share with him that I am soverign and that I re spect his choices but also have a need for him to do the same for me, he is not able to meet that need. Its like a space where we have identified eachothers needs and have realized we can not meet them. Moving forward from this point is very hard for me and if there is an NVC appoach to help this dynamic I am cery interested in what that would be ❤ thank you for your time and channel 🌼
I like your content very much. Just that background music, it distracts me, I'd enjoy your video(s) more without it.
I agree
Doesn't bother me. I like it. It's mostly background.
I love the music!
@@enamored1 It's not about the quality, but the distraction. I find it harder to follow the narration like that. And if it's about the music, I enjoy it more without narration ...
You really shouldn't blame a women's anger on PMS; it's invalidating specifically professionally.
I had a similar concern but wasn't entirely sure what I think/feel about it and didn't want to say anything until I have thought more deeply about it. If it's a topic you're passionate about, I challenge you to translate your original statement into a "Giraffe request." You're more likely to be heard that way.
One shouldn't assume the anger is PMS, no. But I'm actually here because my hormones go so wild during PMS, I needed something about 'bouts of anger' which don't happen when I'm not having PMS. So there are legit cases where women definitely have PMS issues affecting their usual communication.
I love his songs. Do you listen to them regularly?
haha no I just found them..
Cup of Empathy, okay. Thank you for doing what you do. I feel glad and relieved when I see your videos because I need solidarity in the social movement towards more compassion and emotional wisdom. And I see your videos in your actions as being a source of solidarity. So thank you again.