The easiest trait to spot is their passive aggressiveness and inability to apologize. They are like toddlers emotionally. The passive aggressiveness (sulking, cold shoulder, one word answers, seething anger just below the surface, moody, sabotaging situations, chronically late, making important decisions without consulting you, etc. etc.) is a key pointer to a covert narc. God bless anyone reading this. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance in whatever situation you might find yourself in right now. The best defence if you must be around these creatures is to spend as little time as possible with them and keep conversations brief and cheerful.
Agree. It can take years to see it. My sister in law had me fooled for 30 years! I even felt sorry for her and she almost led me to suicide. Be careful if the seemingly vulnerable, shy, ‘serving’, moral martyrs … when the mask comes off … woah
So that is what passive means. This is word for word what I have been subject to for almost forty years. It is like living with a five year old, and sometimes a twelve year old, except when we are out, then everyone loves him.
@@janetarnold5464 I’m sorry to hear that. I did my life sentence (almost 25 years) with one. I finally got out. My stress level went down immediately. In fact I lost over 20 lbs in the first month I was away simply from reducing my cortisol/inflammation response. My asthma has improved and my general well-being. These people will destroy your health, your finances and your sanity. God bless you and may He bring you peace and wisdom and joy.
My mother is a narc. I didn't know until recently, she was putting all of our siblings against each other. We didn't talk to each other for 15 years because of her. I'm 40 years old and I hurt for her and my siblings. We are trying to heal and move forward. We've tried to confront her in a loving way and she refused to take responsibility for her actions. She tried to put the grandkids against their parents. It's so twisted and sad.
Mine to a T! I’m really struggling with all of this toxic behaviour. I recognize and own my own patterns of behaviour, have and am changing…when you know better you do better! She’s turned my daughter and grandchildren against me, so sad. I know getting to know God and His word is the key to it all! Praise the Lord. ✝️🙏🏼💜
@@mattiemayesavedbyjesus psalm 61: 1-4 Hear my cry, O God, Attend to my prayer, From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from my enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever, I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.' When your heart is overwhelmed cry to Him. He will hear you and He will be there for you and help you in ways you didn't expect. Moreover, He will bind up all your wounds. I promise He will because in 40 years He has shown up for me every time especially in the times when no one else did. Cry out to him when your heart is overwhelmed, even in your anger He will hear you and respond. ♥️
A covert narcissist in my life could not stop spending money. When confronted, she went into a crying jag. I offered suggestions about excessive spending, but nothing ever changed. She eventually went over her head in credit card debt, and the only thing that saved a so-called marriage was a post nuptial agreement. Too bad I didn't know then what I know now. Also, it is about impossible to break away from a narcissist when they are a parent or a child. My mother was an overt narcissist and then a married a covert one. I have learned much, but not soon enough. Thanks for your refreshing, thought provoking and needed videos with a Christian message.
An older woman joined our little church, about 8 adults plus kids. The moment I saw her my spirit recoiled with a sense of terror. I recognized her spirit, Jezebel, as I grew up with one and nearly died more than once. This woman pushed, and pushed me while pretending to be deaf managed to get the pastor etc. on her side while claiming to be afraid of my. In fact I stood up to her which only infuriated her. 4-5 months of this and I informed the Pastor only to discover that he'd been taken in by her and as I discovered too late he himself is a covert Narc. So, I told him that Jesus didn't waste his time with narcs but rather ran away from them, I was going to follow his example and leave. I left. The Pastor went into hospital for 3 weeks now and I believe has fallen under the judgement of God for not protecting the flock. So now I have no church but I am free. Praise the Lord.
Red flags: 1. unwillingness to listen to a perspective other than their own from someone who they perceive as "beneath them", which is pretty much everyone. 2. talks to you in a very condescending tone of voice while using poor body language, as if you're an idiot for thinking the way you think (pay attention to their sarcastic smiles & their look of disdain via poor body language) 3. can't be reasoned with 4. very proud of their intellectual prowess on ALL subject matters, especially in the field of religion/politics/science. Covert narcs truly believe they are the smartest cookie in the room, but they are blind to the fact they have an average IQ at best. Usually they are the anti-social brainy, geeky, all knowing, nerdy book worm kind of guy/girl, which makes them appear very unassuming/modest. Non athletic, not a lover of the gym or doing curls for the girls, like most overt narcs. 5. usually has a higher education from an ivory league school, but sometimes paired with a below average IQ. This provides for a toxic combination where they always think they know best and constantly looking down their nose at the janitor who is "an idiot", but yet the covert narc could't find his/her way out of a broom closet if their life depended on it. Heaven forbid you should turn on the light switch and "show them the way" behind closed doors inside that broom closet. Their level of disrespect, rage, childish reactions and poor body language will drive you crazy, when all you did was turn on a light switch to get yourself out of the broom closet, while the covert narc was providing an in-depth educated analysis of the big bang theory inside the broom closet in hopes of finding a way out. All he/she needed was a light switch (Jesus / miracle makeover). 6. feeling of being judged based on job status, achievement status or lack thereof. 7. If they'll gossip to you, then they'll gossip about you. Do not allow this type of person inside your inner circle of trust and/or confide in them about any of your past sins during confession or "prayer time". Pray to God in silence within closed doors and nobody else listening. Anything you say & do can and will be used against you, behind you back, behind closed doors by the unassuming conniving covert narc. Covert Narc = Wolf in geeky Sheppards clothing.
@@Vixinaful Yep. Most of them grew up never being "physically" active in team sports during childhood, experiencing failure, embarrassment or adversity on the ball field, experience with striking out, failure, being boo'd, scoffed by opposing teams, mocked by the crowd, etc. They are deeply insecure and have to "feel" like they are "winning" on the chess board of life and feel like they are the smartest person in the room with their scientific knowledge, looking down their nose at the "uneducated" world around them. Heaven forbid you should ever point out a short cut they can't see or a blind spot they might have concerning a square peg & round hole they are tinkering with. Instead of them responding "thanks for your help" with that, they become sullen if you see it and "helped" them figure it out. Going limited contact or no contact is the only way to keep your sanity with that type. Life is too Short to walk on egg shells and be tied to their whipping post with their strict list of do's & don't's over petty things like drinking water out of a garden hose on a hot summer day vs only drinking "smart water" from the most expensive, environmentally friendly plastic bottle or only buying "organic" avocados/bananas when the outside of the fruit is peeled off and never eaten to begin with. They would literally rather starve to death/die of dehydration in a dessert if there isn't anything "organic" to eat from the Whole Foods market or not having any "smart water" readily available for them. Many times they are too "book smart" for their own good. Not the kind of guys/gals that can tee it up high & let if fly or grip it & rip it real quick. Not that confident. Can't take that step of faith. Too much failure at risk, especially if science doesn't back it up. Every physical move must be over analyzed with science and over calculated to the extreme, before any physical action can take place. Very exhausting to deal with them over every little petty thing in life.
@@jsf8145 and when the no contact doesnt work? When you have them living across from you? I shouldnt have to move nor will I, HE should. It never stops..and the ones you get free from come back. I had one 25 years ago thats come back NOW asking about my life..25 years later, hello? we werent even a couple, we were just, you know.. Im isolating, its the safest way to live. isolating and nit replying to anyone nor opening the door.
@@Vixinaful Sad but true! I'm not sure if you are the religious type, but I find my faith in Jesus helps me overcome & pull through in dealing with Narcissists. By faith, I believe Vengeance is of the Lords and do my best to pray to God for strength to turn the other cheek, not fight fire with fire, keep my emotions in check and try to extend them the same mercy & grace that God has already freely extended me through the blood of Jesus shed for me on the cross. Nobody is prefect (especially the narcissist). I choose to keep my nose to the grind stone (bible), give them to God, love them from a healthy distance (never gossiping about them like they do me) and let the chips fall where they may. People who are mature & worth writing home about will see through all of the narcissistic smoke & mirrors and the people who don't see the dangers of a narcissist and are easily manipulated by them, are only showing you their true colors (naive, gullible, not critical thinkers - don't allow those types inside your inner circle of trust). If interested, the Bible verses that keep my faith strong & keep me trusting in God in the face of narcissistic abuse are below: 2 Timothy 3 👀 Isaiah 53 written in 500 BC Psalm 22 written in 1000 BC Genesis 22:8 Duet 18:18,19 Psalm 110:1 1 John 1:8-10 Titus 3:5 Matthew 5:17 John 16:33 I always try to remember God (Jesus) despises the proud (narcissist/Pharisees/Jezebels) and gives grace to the humble (Titus 3:5). Narcissists struggle deeply with being proud & doing anything to get their ego stroked, which is why they always feel the habitual need to never be wrong about anything, boasting, bragging, deflecting anything that brings shame on them, etc. I give them to God and let God deal with them in His own timing. God is just. The proud, arrogant, two faced, gossiping, egocentric, injured narcissist will reap what they sow. A haughty spirit goes before a fall. Pride goes before destruction. The evil Pharisees who crucified Jesus didn't stay in power for long, just like the evil crusaders who murdered people in the name of "following God" didn't stay in power for long. God is just. They reaped what they were sowing. I understand many people in today's society choose not believe in God, because of their problems with hypocritical religious people, but I would like to remind them that God (Jesus) also had problems with religious people (narcissistic Pharisees). He was ultimately crucified by them. The good news is, Jesus defeated evil (narcissism) on the cross when He was raised from the dead (Psalm 110:1) and by faith I firmly believe Jesus will return to finish fulfilling the prophecies written about Him (Daniel 7:13,14). There is a documentary on TH-cam that I found a few years back that helped answer many deep thought questions I had about Genesis that I found helpful if you are interested in watching it. It is called: "Is Genesis History - Full Documentary" on TH-cam. It's worth a watch if you know anyone who doesn't believe in God, because the video answers many deep thought questions concerning the stories written in Genesis. I highly recommend to others who follow Jesus to check it out. I hope you find this helpful in dealing with narcissistic abuse and may the peace & grace of God (Jesus) be with you in your future interactions with narcissists....
@@jsf8145 2 Timothy 3 is what I usually recommend OTHERS, lol! Nice to see a fellow believer, they come to us to destroy us bc of our closeness with God, you know. The one I knew told me flat out "I HATE christians!" And 2 years in, he had a drug induced psychosis where he ever since hears three voices, I asked if he thought it was demonic? He first brushed it off but then said "Ive been thinking maybe its paranormal" So yes, this is a spiritual warfare I am very well aware off but we cannot escape it, we can pray it away for a while but never escape it. Its what we have to endure down here. And let me tell you about 2 Timothy 3, its so bad out there now..Im in a small country and ove rhere crime is sky high and people have gone insane, there are mental cases everywhere, all of our youth and even up my age are on drugs, its so bad Im isolating, Ive become afraid of them and I used to be super outgoing. These truly are the hour before antichrist. I take it you've heard about them introducing the mark now, right? They want the vaccinated to take an RFID chip in their hand. So its begining, I also think Ive figured out who antichrist, the man of sin, is.
Wow, I was thinking the same thing. My twin sister has been telling me about it and even said before I am one. How when I sit back and remember the things she said and did was a covert Narcissist but at she would be overt. Now I know why she always gave me silent treatment, or ghost me when she is wrong.
Covert narcissists are the worst.. they 'appear' humble - kind - polite.. then wham.. it's shocks you - easy to get trauma bonded.. And they whine and play the victim
You are the exact kind of person/personality I'd love to have in a friend. Thank You for your kindness, your wisdom and your work. Many will be benefitting I'm sure. 😌🌺💗
My soon to be ex wife , has all 7 of these traits! She ditched me for an overt narcissist. 15 years younger than I. Had I seen this video 10 years ago, it would have saved me thousands of $. Not to mention years of chaos and drama!!!
The narc I know ALWAYS surveyed my body language. The person was randomly trying to see if I was in some sort of emotional distress. Just looking for the slightest negative facial expression, in order to feel better about themself. Kind of like searching for a "narcissistic high". I never knew why at the time, but it was creepy/evil looking. Other notes: - They never truly apologize for ANYTHING. Nothing. - They rarely feel happy for positive things that happen in your life. Especially if those positive things did not happen as a result of their partaking. - They have baseline deep seated anger on a regular day. They are covertly angry people. It seeps out of them at random times, then they quickly "keep it together." - They will deeply upset you then a minute later they will pretend as if nothing happened. Sick. - The religious narcissist talks about God only for their own benefit. To make themselves look better than others. Zero humility. - They love to hear others complain. It puts them in a position of power, poise, and control over the chronic complainer. - They HATE criticism, or instruction; no matter how small. - If they really despise you, they will try to rile you up by doing the exact thing that you do not like. - They will touch your personal things and then justify that they had good reason to. - They age poorly.
PREACH! Completely on point. A few other points I'd like to mention: - they're competitive. If you're better or more competent than them at something, unless it's completely out of their sphere of interest/image, and it's noticable, they get in a mood. Or at least the one that I think is a covert does. If he struggles to do what I do, even though there's legitimate reasons as to why, he gets in a mood. This is especially true if it damages their masculinity/femininity. I, as a female, can outlift him. He has a bad back and a weak knee, I do not, he doesn't routinely lift heavy objects, I do. Ergo, I can obviously outlift him. - they like to act as gatekeeper/speaker/expert on you, to the point that people don't go to you, they go to them. On a couple of occasions I got voluntold to do something at work because of him, because others went to him instead of asking me. - easily become jealous and view others as threats. This is dependent on what their overall intention is with you on how this can manifest. With the one I know, it's other males that I get along with well. I saw this when there was one male who he couldn't influence or manipulate how he saw/interacted with me. - they will weaponize their own issues/pains/vulnerabilities against you, especially legitimate ones. This is to guilt trip you to get you to put up with them. They need someone to deal with them because they can't/won't deal with themselves. - they'll tell you what they think you want to hear. If you pay attention you'll notice their lack of sincerity. - if they ask you questions, they're either data mining for the blueprint to what makes you tick or the questions will lead into what they want to talk about, and that topic is always focused on them personally. It's never a free flowing conversation or an equal exchange. It's either info gathering, testing you, dumping on you or puffing themselves up. - they don't actually engage in conversations with you, they test you by tossing stuff out there and watching how you respond. They're always observing you in you interactions. The more sensitive/emotional/vulnerable the topic, the more clinical the observations. They're scientists looking through the microscope and you're on the petri dish. - they're cowards. I'm not trying to be mean with this at all, they literally embody the definition of coward. I think that's where a lot of their rage comes from. They can't handle looking weak, stupid, incompetent, etc. If they can't confront someone in the way they want to or aren't secure in them coming out on top, they'll wait until that person is gone before they say anything. Or they'll be condescending, it depends on what they know they can get away with. But they can't keep their rage in check all the time, so they'll lash out in a passive aggressive manner.
Married to one and just last month I found out what a narcissist even means.. I was used to his behavior with me as we been together for 12 years & I would always question it but would push it aside till recently one day I felt fed up I was wondering why he didn’t talk to me and when he did he was rude and never showed emotion he would only vent about why his day went bad bc of other people etc. Anyway that night I asked myself why is he treating me this way? Like I’m a wall and don’t matter? I’ve done nothing wrong so I sat far across from him and stared at him in confusion his face even looked evil, that’s when I asked God to help me and show me and make me understand why my relationship is like this. The next day I came across a video on YT explaining the meaning of a narcissist it got my attention so that’s how I now know
Red flags: 1. "Im broken" He told me very early in the beginning and turns out he wasnt kidding. 2. He started out texting daily only to after a while dissapear for three weeks at a time. 3. He seemed very hard and cold from the beginning except from wanting to cuddle. 4. He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the restaurant we met and without asking me assumed we were going to my place to which I said no. 5. Never wanted to meet around people, always alone "I cant take all the noise outside" 6. He took an apartment across mine just 5 months in. Felt really strange, stalky. My friend warned me about that too. 7. He shyed away from my friends, made plans to meet and never showed, they thought he was strange. 8. Talked LOADS about a bipolar junkie ex twice his age, said they ended it mutually but with time I udnerstood she wasnt happy with him and if you cant even keep someone like that...NOT a good sign. 9. Did the pityplay instantly "Boho Im so broken bc my mother is a narcissist" I should have looked into narcissism right there. 10. Always came unannounced and expected me to drop what I was doing bc HE had arrived. Entitled. 11. Got right up and walked off during a conversation to go lay on the bed both at his place and mine. One of the times he had laied the phone on top of the bed showing me he was texting with the ex. Proudly before he snatched it. 12. One day he was going to move after the ex (she had moved from the city) and the next he was going for my dream about a condo down the hill. 13. "Im the best at my job!" (I looked into that and turns out they want him gone, "There have been problems around him" they told me) He also couldnt even download a free music app on my phone despite working with pc's. 14. Always very quiet and seemingly shy... So quiet and shy I thought he was depressed. It didnt seem..normal. 15. Put a PC together for me and when I asked how I know he didnt place spyware in it? He replied "One does that so it doesnt show" with a smirk. (He enjoyed making me scared/uncomfortable around him) 16. Had the feeling he wasnt especially intelligent and at the end he said he felt stupid. I agree, he did come across as unintelligent. 17. Suffered from "Flat affect" meaning he showed no facial expressions, his face was always a blank stare as if life surprised him. As you can see there were LOADS of warning flags.
I saw so many red flags in the beginning. And I actually broke up with him and ONLY THEN realized who and what I had been dealing with for 11 months. He also had psychopathy and was abusive to animals and would laugh if I got hurt. Truly evil and demonic creature. I get really upset with myself for staying as long as I did but God did lead me out if it and I'm thankful I didn't end up marrying him as I had planned.
I am glad GOD SHOWED ME WHO HE EAS I TRULY PRAY GOD WILL BLESD YOU GUYS WITH EVEN MORE INFORMATION TO GIVE TO THOSE WHO MANAGE TO GET AWAY BY THE GRACE OF GOD.
I thought my previous abusers were the worst but this almost got my soul. It was hard and I had to move out of state where I know no one just to get peace. He had people thinking I am the abuser. I had to give up a $250,000 job and almost went homeless. I lost 2 million in assets and my grand children and son. Every thing but God. Now I working on doing the same type of awareness and education you are doing and trying to put the pieces of my life back together again. It was torture and the red was you are crazy almost 30 years ago and ended with your are crazy,
Rose, I'm so sorry for all the shipwreck you went through, but so glad to hear about God's faithfulness in your life and the awareness and education you're doing. He is so able to take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it around for good. I bless you in the work you're doing! May the Lord prosper you, and take you from glory to glory and strength to strength! 🙏🏽❤️
I understand where not having friends could be a red flag, however there are many people in this community who, because they have now been enlightened by this information have had to cut ties with almost everyone in their life in order to heal, when I woke up, I realized I see narcissists! Just as terrifying as seeing dead people, if not more! And my biggest struggle in my healing journey right now is the fact that I am middle aged with NO ONE around me, I’m hurting too much to invest in new relationships right now, yet I cannot be around the people I’ve known for years because they are predatory.. it is quite the predicament… it’s the thing about becoming healthy which hurts the most.
Same here. It's awfully lonely, but bittersweet to be away from toxicity. I have no family or friends, and church is hard too because so much misunderstanding and judgment.
@@stephm5877 Hi Steph, sending you hugs and prayers🙏🤗 It has been a long lonely road! but I’m going to share some of the things that have helped me. 1) I started talking to myself, like you would a friend..just by doing that, speaking words of encouragement and love, doing inner child work with a photo of myself when I was 5 Basically giving to myself what I had always wished others would give me. 2) Pouring out all my deep pain and hurt to God. And asking for healing for these inner broken parts of myself. 3) watching LOTS of TH-cam! Focusing more on the vids that are solution based.. sometimes binging on the ones that talk about the narcissist behavior. I find those very validating to the experience. 3) trusting God that He can heal me, and as I heal, He will bring the right people into my life, and I WILL go on to have a blessed life, and he will use the things the devil meant for harm for good! I just wanted to encourage you, because as alone as I have been, suddenly things are now happening that are wonderful. God is good and you are not forgotten!
Totally understand. Me too. I think God, is leaving us alone until we have matured enough to not enter a toxic relationship again ever. It is a cleansing process. Empaths are food for these predators, and we enter in relations with them because we have not cleaned up our own emotional and mental addictions. Aren't we saviours? Aren't we looking for great big love? These are some of our vulnerable spots that make us their victims.
Yes. I also think God uses narcs in our lives to teach us to listen to him and follow his word. It seems to always be his scripture that gets me out of these messes.
I have so much to say about this, I'm thankful God is teaching me truth and setting me free. I'm thankful for Wisdom and Understanding. God bless you for making these videos.😊
The Covet Narcissist will never allow the Empath to express the normal array of emotions like fatigue, sadness, fear, indecision or even kindness. But then *they* can have their explosive anger, negative critical ball busting, immature emotional states, and you’re not allowed to judge them lol - they are insane !
In retrospect, I now realize my ex started our relationship complaining about how toxic and emasculating his family was to him. Griping about childhood abuse any time I presented expectations I had of him. I later found out he was venting to his family about my issues with his behavior. He pitted me against his family.
The difference between covert and overt is mainly the power, wealth, social status. The going idea is that if you handed the wealth and/or power of the overt narc to the covert narc, the covert narc would in fact be an overt. Covert narcs realize they dont have the power in the eyes of society that they feel they deserve. They feel cheated out of their power, or that ppl are just too stupid to see what kind of power they "really have."
You nailed it. My mother in law thinks she is so wise and great but anything about her is shabby. Now give her the money she always knows what to do with them.
I seem to run into one narc after another! The major signs I received from my covert narc close neighbor was her bossiness, need to control me, and her sense of entitlement for half of my monthly income!
I’ll take it a step further they’re not internally angry they rage and do yourself a favor don’t criticize or confront them because they will get violent.
@Shaneen this is a very enlightening video but I just want to bring to your attention that covert narcissists are watching these videos and changing up their strategies now when you meet them they tell you the truth and they also show empathy and concern and they fake it pretty well and they wait patiently until your safely past the Honey Moon phase before they start showing their true self the reason they do this is because they know by that time you will be too invested to leave them when the bad behavior starts.
As if a narcissistic person cannot be changed by God. King David was a narcissist so is Trump. What I’m saying is realize this is also becoming a witch hunt for the “enlightened” myself included I have been in both spectrums as an Empath and having immaturity we have to be careful how we also treated people. I’m not cutting people out of my life I simply confront lovingly and God goes to work, some repent some leave.
Yes! And my most recent one is great at apologies. They always feel off. But he has studied well and knows the exact words to use to create the perfect apology for me to drop my guard and let him back in. Eventually, I start seeing things that don't add up again. You will know them by their fruit, I try to remember this. It's so hard when someone can give a deeply genuine sounding apology ... I start thinking I'm the narcissist, which he calls me. But I realize he can only give me an apology that makes any sense at all if I tell him exactly wht to say. He will give me the show of emotions and then want me to drop it 100%.
Just found out that my dad is one and my middle sister is too! Really sad to see this, and totally my ex! I am thankful for your videos, I know I am not alone’ I have been praying for my Mom to get her inner healing too! God Bless You my Sister 🙌🕊💜✝️❤️❤️🔥🦋🌈🦅
Thanku for this video. I lived wid a narcs sister in law for 10 years. At that tym didn’t really understand a narcs personality n she was truly covert. But I feel so free now even though she took all our property n left 15 years ago. Don’t care abt all that she took from us just happy to be free from such a toxic person.I’m still enjoying being free from her .Thanku Jesus
What i learned the hard way is how she came from a family of 6 other sisters and she came across as the "best sister" out of the group. The father was a blatant "Overt" narcissist and never fooled me. I never even knew that a "Covert" narcissist could ever exist. She wanted to be put on a pedestal above her family in the exact same way as her father, only subtlety. I kept feeding her ego and she stopped working after marriage. Now she uses her weak sisters to stroke her ego. She could NEVER accept correction because you could never get her to talk and open up. I blabbed and gave her control of all the $$ accounts and she always knew my every move and i knew none of hers. What an awful experience and I'll never be the same person again. The father was a self professed born again Christian and allowed his father to sexually abuse at least 3 out of 7 of the daughters. I now understand that "fruits" are the key to true character. I got miraculously downloaded after going through hell. Been a Christian for over 30years and I now know the Jezebel Spirit and my role playing an Ahab. God is very real in a different way now. A very, very broken way to learn how real God is.
First, thank you for this channel. It’s excellent. Second, YES, I was in a relationship with a covert narc. First red flag 🚩 was him calling and texting extensively at the beginning. He partied a lot, he didn’t take good care of his dog. His house was a mess. He didn’t work. His house was left to him when his father passed away. Always tons of people coming over his house. Lots of girls showing up throughout entire relationship. Raging like a lunatic when called out on his behavior. I could go on and on. I finally out when he kept threatening my life. I got a restraining order and that kept him away. He got karma since we’ve been apart and is now in jail.
Your channel is the unicorn I have been looking for! Help in healing from narc abuse from a Biblical perspective. Finally! :-) Thank you sister for all you do. Praise Jesus! God's peace, love and blessings to you.
Yes, unfortunately I was divinely guided to a covert narcissist who also sadly seems to be my twin flame. They remind me of my maternal figure. Either way, I prayed for both of them and cut both of them off. 🙏🏽
Gift giving and gift receiving was weird with the convert narcissist that was in my life. When they gave me a gift, it was over and above (too much money, too much of anything.... 5 gold necklaces instead of just one) AND was usually given so other people could witness how wonderful they were. The gift was not about me, it was about them. Frequently, it was a gift that they wanted... i.e electronics that I could not use. When I gave them a gift, it was never good enough, wrong fit even though it was their size, or just never used or appreciated and easily discarded. Over time I realized it requires some vulnerability to receive a gift. This person did not want to be vulnerable and could not graciously receive any gift. However, if I would ever NOT give them a gift when one was expected, they would be angry - not openly though - just sulking behavior.
The first Christmas my ex and I were together he told me not to spend too much money at Christmas since we had just been married and didn't have a lot of money. He set an actual limit of $100. So I agreed, and come Christmas day, he had me open my present first, which was about $700's worth. Then he opened his gift which cost just under $100. He blew up, went into a fit of rage, and gave me the silent treatment for a while after that. Pure crazy making!
Yes! I believe this is one of the tell-tale signs. I've now dated 3 narcs (God help me!) ... and each one would go over and above for me to the point it was deeply uncomfortable to receive, especially for having JUST met someone. Any gift I gave was supbar and I was given the silent treatment or passive aggressive behavior or it wasn't worthy enough. But dare you not give a gift, as the reaction to that is much worse!
Hare Kṛṣṇa The grace of God is cent percent Divine, please. Simply by development of any aspiration for any part of His Divine Grace, or Supreme Grace, all desires absolute in the heart can be fulfilled, including that for any start anew, free from all ... untoward inebriety. That's a fact. Hare Rāma
Another "test". Say "no" to one of their requests and watch how they respond. If they ask you to hang out, say no. Or if they want to watch a movie, tell them you'd rather watch another one~ watch how they respond! If they get angry, sulk, pout, or if they continue to try and convince you to do that thing they want~ WATCH OUT! They are testing your boundaries to see how pliable your are!! Narcs love people with no strong boundaries!! God bless!
One question; why do you have on 12k sub? This is such a gem. Recently got the strength to leave a narc husband after 16 yrs and have been seeking a biblical point of view on this mental/demonic condition.
Yes I fell in the pit with a covert narcissist , and probably from what I have learned since a physcopath . First red flag was witnessing them react not to me but someone else with disdain , and pure hatred , not that I recognized that's what it was at the time , I just knew this was seriously out of character . Second I was out of town , and had to fly home unexpectedly , I called before departing the air port by there was no answer . I arrived home late showered went to bed she was already sleeping , just drifting off the intercom sounded , it was,a ex of hers . Big coincidence , though it was suspect , she insisted it was . No it wasn't! The first Christmas at he parents . The image was middle class family , but that Christmas was traumatizing . Full of insults , put downs , one uppers , and even physical abuses pokes pinches slaps . I describe it as watching a pack of hyenas, my ex spent the most part curled up on the couch , which I later learned was the norm . That was her way of controlling , block them all out , and be completely indifferent , and oh she isn't feeling well so do not disturb , which left me in this room full of strangers , not having the first clue what to do , but stay out of everyone's way . The next thing was though when we met she presented as being easy going , well balanced , sensible, down to earth , her life was rather aimless , and a mess . Her family was no support , and there I went , maybe with a little help , support , and understanding. Today I would run , far , and fast . Oh the help , and support soon become a obligation, a commitment . I grew accustomed to her circular reasoning , and black.or white , all or nothing thinking . Soon learned confrontation was more trouble , than finding a way to live with it . Learned to lower my expectations , I became a useful tool ! Didn't realize at the time I was becoming less relevant , it became completely about my responsibilities, and it was never quite enough ? She made thecstayement one day , she had married down ? Ridiculous , but I had adapted to ridiculous . On it went until I got sick , and that spelled the beginning of the end! Sorry Randy know you tried , but just wasn't good enough ? What ? What ? That was my wake up call. But the betrayal began at hello !
You should have said at her familys house you had to go and if they asked why simply "Well she isnt feeling well so no need to bother her and shes with family so you'll take care of her, bless you, bye!"
@@Vixinaful Oh that would have upset the apple cart . That would have been appropriate , yes , she does no wrong ? You keep her ! I had a cousin returned his fiance to her parents , and advised them she needed to move home , until she grew up .
I was on the receiving end of this type of thing. Turns out the person who did it also did it to many other people. They ruined reputations and tried to destroy people. They have cancer now. No one seems bothered by it.
@@MJ-qb5ph Wow. Me too. I am currently going through it gracefully. What I learned is people do not validate me, so who cares. If they choose to believe it, just helps me see who else needs to be eliminated from my life with the Narcissist.
There is an unexamined aspect to dating narcissists: 1) If you have issues yourself, sometimes the only romantic partner who will take you is a narcissist. They are very tolerant in some ways. 2) Not everything that is “good” is of God, and not everything that is “evil” is against God’s will. I’m on the verge of becoming fabulously wealthy within 10 years. I would never be in this path without getting almost destroyed by a narcissist ex girlfriend. The key with relationship with narcissist is not linger to where you’re permanently affected by them.
I agree with you on some things, I almost died more than once bc of him but he taught me my biggest life lesson, I had no idea what evil even was until I met him. he gave me the gift of not being naive.
exactly my mother was a narcissist. Shed be on the phone handling business talking nice and get right off the phone and the mask drop and she would curse me out and raise h e double hockey sticks. It was just like dr jekyl and hyde. I wanna say I walked around the first 30 years of my life eyes wide shut. This world is all about empaths vs narcissist and if u are not educated about them u are walking around blind. I just thought some of these people act really WEIRD! around me and are hostile to me and nasty towards me for no reason cause I never done anything to these people. Found out just my existence caused a narcissistic injury to these demons…
Covert Narcs : you never see them coming and boy are they great actors , you'll be manipulated to feel bad for them, they just need some of your money / resources/ attention and then they will do better right ?? They will take and take and take until you are used up and discarded for the next supply source.
My Exhusband - as my Mother was one, too. They both were very toxic to me. Almost deadly - literally. And narcs always feel attracted to me - still. But now this will never ever happen again. Because I am aware of that traits now.
I've been involved with a man for 3 years now who is I believe a covert narcissist. He does not apologize and like you said if he does apologize he does it in a roundabout way, and he won't work out problems his solution if there's a problem is let's break up. The only good times in the relationship have been when he breaks up with me and a few months go by then he wants to get back together and he acts like it's a brand new relationship because narcissists in the beginning are very loving and very fun to be around so I have allowed him to do that because I like how it feels when it's the beginning but I'm tired of it I'm tired of being in a relationship where I feel unloved not just feeling unloved, I know I am not loved by him. I honestly don't think he's capable of those feelings so it's not that I can really blame him because he truly just isn't capable and it's sad it's a sad reality and the longest relationship he told me has been 4 years and he's in his 40s. When I first got with him I didn't know a lot about narcissism or else I would never have stepped into this snake pit. He is not physically abusive but he is definitely emotionally abusive.
It's my older sister!!!😱😱😱😵😵😵😭😭😭😭😭 I have to live with her right now. Last night, a familiar pattern showed up again and I fell into her trap again. 😠 She wanted to show me a house on YT and we sat down while she tried to find the video. We had been talking about the Holy Spirit when she flew into a massive rage! 😵😱 I got up to walk away quickly because she has been physically violent with me in the past. I pretty much ran to my room and locked the door, while she ranted outside. She says she's a "Christian", but I think she has a demon+. She gets mad when my little sister (who lives in another state) and I talk about the Lord. She has even told me she didn't want to hear us talk about God. She doesn't believe that the Old Testament should be read as part of Scripture anymore. I feel extreme oppression when she is home or around me....I can't breathe. She fits all 9 of these red flags. She is a top executive in a major resort hotel, and thinks she is the gift to the world! Classic Covert narcissist! Thank goodness she's at work most of the time! I have no car, I'm 70 years old, and I'm stuck. Please pray for her and me!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😘😘😘
I see in MYSELF a lot narcissistic traits ( and I hate this ) and only one thing to stop me to proclaim myself “ the narcissist” is my high level of empathy, (I can feel sometimes even physical pain of people) . I am 12 years in relationship with covert narcissist I found about it 2 years ago. I jumped out from previous abusive relationship quickly like frog from pot with hot water, but me “silly frog” was ALMOST “cooked alive” in relationship with covert narcissist.
Prayers to help and do not give up. Pray I renounce all soul ties with person name in Jesus name. Pray I renounce all covenants with person name in Jesus. th-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
My ex is very good at this. He’s very draining on me and the kids but uplifts friends in the fakest ways that make me sick. He’s all about stuff and things and wonders why the kids want to spend the week they’re supposed to be with me, with me. I literally have nothing. He loves that I have nothing. He relishes innit like I’m being punished from God. Maybe I am. I left him in the wrong way. By staying way too long
Yes, I have had both kinds of narcissists in my life, the covert one uses a lot of "plausible deniability", easily denying their tactics. They brag a lot about themselves in subtle ways, a sort of "humble bragging." These people choose those they think they can control and behind everyone's back they pick on those they are jealous of or have contrived offenses against. They are easily angered over the silliest things. A covert narcissist will cry when confronted rather than openly rage, they must let out their anger so it comes out in "victim" mentality.
They use pity as a weapon, that and they are passive aggressive. Some narcissist are just aggressive but not a covert. Silent treatment is one of the favorites by these people. They usually are not intelligent. They also are needing. They are lazy as well.
It has not been my experience that they don’t have long term relationships. They can hide it for years and they do things like taking a job that gives them time away.
Hard things I'm becoming aware of. Someone who poses helping me, supposed to be helping me heal. I feel instead is subtly undermining me. I see this person do this to me with a few others. Planting thoughts of certain others to me. Mostly people they feel threatened by.
I just about lost it when u said they can be found in helping professions. The female covert narc that abused me was in a profession where she was supposed to be helping less fortunate people and do u know out the blue one of them nights she just started talking bad about them and making fun of them with what i found out later was the narc smirk on her face. I thought it was extremely weird and random at the time. Her job is to jave empathy and compassion and help those people not try and kick them when they are down. The same lack of empathy and kicking people when they are down and getting pleasure out of it came my way sooner than later. Also my primary care doctor right now is a covert narc and a raysisst. Her behavior and the things she say to me is very different when its in person visits vs video conference appointments that are being recorded by her employer. She wears the mask then. I actually ran into a few medical doctor narcissist. Not all so please dont come for me. I have encountered some medical doctors that were wonderful and nothing but helpful and a pleasure to deal with but thats one field they hide in. I ran into a few cerebral narcs there bjt whether it was cerebral or covert they all seamed to be rayssisst and resentful to.
The difference is that for INFJs and other personality types, It is possible to be sensitive to criticism and still have heart-felt empathy towards other people, and still be able to self-reflect and take responsibility for wrongdoings in a relationship. However, someone with NPD lacks the capacity to empathize from the heart and self-reflect. Also, their emotions are primarily anger, hatred and envy--even if they don't show it. This is what is usually brewing underneath the surface. But this is not the case for other personality types, even though they may experience those emotions from time to time--but it is not chronic like it is with a narcissist. I hope this helps.
My sister has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and I was wondering if being a narcissist could be a trait of bi-polar. I currently don’t have a relationship with because she very toxic.
The easiest trait to spot is their passive aggressiveness and inability to apologize. They are like toddlers emotionally. The passive aggressiveness (sulking, cold shoulder, one word answers, seething anger just below the surface, moody, sabotaging situations, chronically late, making important decisions without consulting you, etc. etc.) is a key pointer to a covert narc. God bless anyone reading this. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance in whatever situation you might find yourself in right now. The best defence if you must be around these creatures is to spend as little time as possible with them and keep conversations brief and cheerful.
Agree. It can take years to see it. My sister in law had me fooled for 30 years! I even felt sorry for her and she almost led me to suicide. Be careful if the seemingly vulnerable, shy, ‘serving’, moral martyrs … when the mask comes off … woah
Some of your (symptoms) are symptoms of narcissistic victims.
So that is what passive means. This is word for word what I have been subject to for almost forty years. It is like living with a five year old, and sometimes a twelve year old, except when we are out, then everyone loves him.
@@janetarnold5464 I’m sorry to hear that. I did my life sentence (almost 25 years) with one. I finally got out. My stress level went down immediately. In fact I lost over 20 lbs in the first month I was away simply from reducing my cortisol/inflammation response. My asthma has improved and my general well-being. These people will destroy your health, your finances and your sanity. God bless you and may He bring you peace and wisdom and joy.
So accurate!
I was in a relationship w a covert narc. He treated people close to him badly. Treated aquaintants like gold. It was sick
My mother is a narc. I didn't know until recently, she was putting all of our siblings against each other. We didn't talk to each other for 15 years because of her. I'm 40 years old and I hurt for her and my siblings. We are trying to heal and move forward. We've tried to confront her in a loving way and she refused to take responsibility for her actions. She tried to put the grandkids against their parents. It's so twisted and sad.
Your mother sound like mine, geez😵😵.
I HOPE you have ALL the Victory in the World!
Mine to a T! I’m really struggling with all of this toxic behaviour.
I recognize and own my own patterns of behaviour, have and am changing…when you know better you do better! She’s turned my daughter and grandchildren against me, so sad.
I know getting to know God and His word is the key to it all! Praise the Lord. ✝️🙏🏼💜
@@mattiemayesavedbyjesus psalm 61: 1-4
Hear my cry, O God, Attend to my prayer,
From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from my enemy. I will abide in Your tabernacle forever, I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.'
When your heart is overwhelmed cry to Him. He will hear you and He will be there for you and help you in ways you didn't expect. Moreover, He will bind up all your wounds. I promise He will because in 40 years He has shown up for me every time especially in the times when no one else did. Cry out to him when your heart is overwhelmed, even in your anger He will hear you and respond. ♥️
@@She-Ra-db7eg
Amen. That is beautiful.
Praise The LORD for His mercy and grace every day. He is Love. Thank You Jesus 🙌🏼💙🙌🏼✝️
The tragedy is that the word "Sorry"has never been in their Dictionary inspite of all the hurts they inflict..
A covert narcissist in my life could not stop spending money. When confronted, she went into a crying jag. I offered suggestions about excessive spending, but nothing ever changed. She eventually went over her head in credit card debt, and the only thing that saved a so-called marriage was a post nuptial agreement. Too bad I didn't know then what I know now. Also, it is about impossible to break away from a narcissist when they are a parent or a child. My mother was an overt narcissist and then a married a covert one. I have learned much, but not soon enough. Thanks for your refreshing, thought provoking and needed videos with a Christian message.
The analogy about inhaling toxic odorless fumes is dead on
Isn’t it? Brilliant analogy
I had no idea my person was a narc. I only had confusion about the person and didnt know why.
An older woman joined our little church, about 8 adults plus kids. The moment I saw her my spirit recoiled with a sense of terror. I recognized her spirit, Jezebel, as I grew up with one and nearly died more than once. This woman pushed, and pushed me while pretending to be deaf managed to get the pastor etc. on her side while claiming to be afraid of my. In fact I stood up to her which only infuriated her. 4-5 months of this and I informed the Pastor only to discover that he'd been taken in by her and as I discovered too late he himself is a covert Narc. So, I told him that Jesus didn't waste his time with narcs but rather ran away from them, I was going to follow his example and leave. I left. The Pastor went into hospital for 3 weeks now and I believe has fallen under the judgement of God for not protecting the flock. So now I have no church but I am free. Praise the Lord.
Good you could spot it so early though
There are many narcissists in Churches ⛪ Hidding and bullying God's people and using His Holy Name for their own gain.It's sickening!
Sounds very painful
form another group!!
Red flags:
1. unwillingness to listen to a perspective other than their own from someone who they perceive as "beneath them", which is pretty much everyone.
2. talks to you in a very condescending tone of voice while using poor body language, as if you're an idiot for thinking the way you think (pay attention to their sarcastic smiles & their look of disdain via poor body language)
3. can't be reasoned with
4. very proud of their intellectual prowess on ALL subject matters, especially in the field of religion/politics/science. Covert narcs truly believe they are the smartest cookie in the room, but they are blind to the fact they have an average IQ at best. Usually they are the anti-social brainy, geeky, all knowing, nerdy book worm kind of guy/girl, which makes them appear very unassuming/modest. Non athletic, not a lover of the gym or doing curls for the girls, like most overt narcs.
5. usually has a higher education from an ivory league school, but sometimes paired with a below average IQ. This provides for a toxic combination where they always think they know best and constantly looking down their nose at the janitor who is "an idiot", but yet the covert narc could't find his/her way out of a broom closet if their life depended on it. Heaven forbid you should turn on the light switch and "show them the way" behind closed doors inside that broom closet. Their level of disrespect, rage, childish reactions and poor body language will drive you crazy, when all you did was turn on a light switch to get yourself out of the broom closet, while the covert narc was providing an in-depth educated analysis of the big bang theory inside the broom closet in hopes of finding a way out. All he/she needed was a light switch (Jesus / miracle makeover).
6. feeling of being judged based on job status, achievement status or lack thereof.
7. If they'll gossip to you, then they'll gossip about you.
Do not allow this type of person inside your inner circle of trust and/or confide in them about any of your past sins during confession or "prayer time". Pray to God in silence within closed doors and nobody else listening. Anything you say & do can and will be used against you, behind you back, behind closed doors by the unassuming conniving covert narc.
Covert Narc = Wolf in geeky Sheppards clothing.
Oh I felt that one, Ive dated ONLY this type! The nerdy computer guy who turns out to be Satan himself. For YEARS I thought they were autistic.
@@Vixinaful Yep. Most of them grew up never being "physically" active in team sports during childhood, experiencing failure, embarrassment or adversity on the ball field, experience with striking out, failure, being boo'd, scoffed by opposing teams, mocked by the crowd, etc. They are deeply insecure and have to "feel" like they are "winning" on the chess board of life and feel like they are the smartest person in the room with their scientific knowledge, looking down their nose at the "uneducated" world around them.
Heaven forbid you should ever point out a short cut they can't see or a blind spot they might have concerning a square peg & round hole they are tinkering with. Instead of them responding "thanks for your help" with that, they become sullen if you see it and "helped" them figure it out.
Going limited contact or no contact is the only way to keep your sanity with that type. Life is too Short to walk on egg shells and be tied to their whipping post with their strict list of do's & don't's over petty things like drinking water out of a garden hose on a hot summer day vs only drinking "smart water" from the most expensive, environmentally friendly plastic bottle or only buying "organic" avocados/bananas when the outside of the fruit is peeled off and never eaten to begin with. They would literally rather starve to death/die of dehydration in a dessert if there isn't anything "organic" to eat from the Whole Foods market or not having any "smart water" readily available for them. Many times they are too "book smart" for their own good. Not the kind of guys/gals that can tee it up high & let if fly or grip it & rip it real quick. Not that confident. Can't take that step of faith. Too much failure at risk, especially if science doesn't back it up. Every physical move must be over analyzed with science and over calculated to the extreme, before any physical action can take place. Very exhausting to deal with them over every little petty thing in life.
@@jsf8145 and when the no contact doesnt work? When you have them living across from you? I shouldnt have to move nor will I, HE should. It never stops..and the ones you get free from come back. I had one 25 years ago thats come back NOW asking about my life..25 years later, hello? we werent even a couple, we were just, you know.. Im isolating, its the safest way to live. isolating and nit replying to anyone nor opening the door.
@@Vixinaful Sad but true!
I'm not sure if you are the religious type, but I find my faith in Jesus helps me overcome & pull through in dealing with Narcissists.
By faith, I believe Vengeance is of the Lords and do my best to pray to God for strength to turn the other cheek, not fight fire with fire, keep my emotions in check and try to extend them the same mercy & grace that God has already freely extended me through the blood of Jesus shed for me on the cross. Nobody is prefect (especially the narcissist). I choose to keep my nose to the grind stone (bible), give them to God, love them from a healthy distance (never gossiping about them like they do me) and let the chips fall where they may. People who are mature & worth writing home about will see through all of the narcissistic smoke & mirrors and the people who don't see the dangers of a narcissist and are easily manipulated by them, are only showing you their true colors (naive, gullible, not critical thinkers - don't allow those types inside your inner circle of trust).
If interested, the Bible verses that keep my faith strong & keep me trusting in God in the face of narcissistic abuse are below:
2 Timothy 3 👀
Isaiah 53 written in 500 BC
Psalm 22 written in 1000 BC
Genesis 22:8
Duet 18:18,19
Psalm 110:1
1 John 1:8-10
Titus 3:5
Matthew 5:17
John 16:33
I always try to remember God (Jesus) despises the proud (narcissist/Pharisees/Jezebels) and gives grace to the humble (Titus 3:5). Narcissists struggle deeply with being proud & doing anything to get their ego stroked, which is why they always feel the habitual need to never be wrong about anything, boasting, bragging, deflecting anything that brings shame on them, etc. I give them to God and let God deal with them in His own timing. God is just. The proud, arrogant, two faced, gossiping, egocentric, injured narcissist will reap what they sow. A haughty spirit goes before a fall. Pride goes before destruction. The evil Pharisees who crucified Jesus didn't stay in power for long, just like the evil crusaders who murdered people in the name of "following God" didn't stay in power for long. God is just. They reaped what they were sowing.
I understand many people in today's society choose not believe in God, because of their problems with hypocritical religious people, but I would like to remind them that God (Jesus) also had problems with religious people (narcissistic Pharisees). He was ultimately crucified by them. The good news is, Jesus defeated evil (narcissism) on the cross when He was raised from the dead (Psalm 110:1) and by faith I firmly believe Jesus will return to finish fulfilling the prophecies written about Him (Daniel 7:13,14).
There is a documentary on TH-cam that I found a few years back that helped answer many deep thought questions I had about Genesis that I found helpful if you are interested in watching it. It is called: "Is Genesis History - Full Documentary" on TH-cam. It's worth a watch if you know anyone who doesn't believe in God, because the video answers many deep thought questions concerning the stories written in Genesis. I highly recommend to others who follow Jesus to check it out.
I hope you find this helpful in dealing with narcissistic abuse and may the peace & grace of God (Jesus) be with you in your future interactions with narcissists....
@@jsf8145 2 Timothy 3 is what I usually recommend OTHERS, lol! Nice to see a fellow believer, they come to us to destroy us bc of our closeness with God, you know. The one I knew told me flat out "I HATE christians!" And 2 years in, he had a drug induced psychosis where he ever since hears three voices, I asked if he thought it was demonic? He first brushed it off but then said "Ive been thinking maybe its paranormal" So yes, this is a spiritual warfare I am very well aware off but we cannot escape it, we can pray it away for a while but never escape it. Its what we have to endure down here.
And let me tell you about 2 Timothy 3, its so bad out there now..Im in a small country and ove rhere crime is sky high and people have gone insane, there are mental cases everywhere, all of our youth and even up my age are on drugs, its so bad Im isolating, Ive become afraid of them and I used to be super outgoing. These truly are the hour before antichrist. I take it you've heard about them introducing the mark now, right? They want the vaccinated to take an RFID chip in their hand. So its begining, I also think Ive figured out who antichrist, the man of sin, is.
I'm realising the same person that told me about looking up narcissism, claiming to be a victim of it, is actually a narcissist. This is so scary!
Same thing happened to me..she start taking to me bout how narcissist people act in a sinic way
So true
If he's accusing you of being a narc, he's probably one himself. Those toxic people accuse you of the things they're doing themselves.
Yup, my sister who is a narc, referred me to a narc website, and explained how I am the narc!
Wow, I was thinking the same thing. My twin sister has been telling me about it and even said before I am one. How when I sit back and remember the things she said and did was a covert Narcissist but at she would be overt. Now I know why she always gave me silent treatment, or ghost me when she is wrong.
Covert narcissists are the worst.. they 'appear' humble - kind - polite.. then wham.. it's shocks you - easy to get trauma bonded.. And they whine and play the victim
do they ever.
Totally - in my case all have been female which has made it impossible for my side to be heard
Absolute worse
You are the exact kind of person/personality I'd love to have in a friend. Thank You for your kindness, your wisdom and your work. Many will be benefitting I'm sure. 😌🌺💗
Aw...thank you Lola for your kind and encouraging words! 🥰😊
@@ShaneenMegji I second her comment. You’re so sweet.
I agree with her, I was thinking the same way… your energy tells so many good things about you. I also sent you a connection request through LinkedIn.
Amen to that!!! 🙏🙏🙏😘😘😘💙💜💚💝👍😇
My soon to be ex wife , has all 7 of these traits! She ditched me for an overt narcissist. 15 years younger than I. Had I seen this video 10 years ago, it would have saved me thousands of $. Not to mention years of chaos and drama!!!
The narc I know ALWAYS surveyed my body language. The person was randomly trying to see if I was in some sort of emotional distress. Just looking for the slightest negative facial expression, in order to feel better about themself. Kind of like searching for a "narcissistic high". I never knew why at the time, but it was creepy/evil looking.
Other notes:
- They never truly apologize for ANYTHING. Nothing.
- They rarely feel happy for positive things that happen in your life. Especially if those positive things did not happen as a result of their partaking.
- They have baseline deep seated anger on a regular day. They are covertly angry people. It seeps out of them at random times, then they quickly "keep it together."
- They will deeply upset you then a minute later they will pretend as if nothing happened. Sick.
- The religious narcissist talks about God only for their own benefit. To make themselves look better than others. Zero humility.
- They love to hear others complain. It puts them in a position of power, poise, and control over the chronic complainer.
- They HATE criticism, or instruction; no matter how small.
- If they really despise you, they will try to rile you up by doing the exact thing that you do not like.
- They will touch your personal things and then justify that they had good reason to.
- They age poorly.
PREACH! Completely on point.
A few other points I'd like to mention:
- they're competitive. If you're better or more competent than them at something, unless it's completely out of their sphere of interest/image, and it's noticable, they get in a mood. Or at least the one that I think is a covert does. If he struggles to do what I do, even though there's legitimate reasons as to why, he gets in a mood. This is especially true if it damages their masculinity/femininity. I, as a female, can outlift him. He has a bad back and a weak knee, I do not, he doesn't routinely lift heavy objects, I do. Ergo, I can obviously outlift him.
- they like to act as gatekeeper/speaker/expert on you, to the point that people don't go to you, they go to them. On a couple of occasions I got voluntold to do something at work because of him, because others went to him instead of asking me.
- easily become jealous and view others as threats. This is dependent on what their overall intention is with you on how this can manifest. With the one I know, it's other males that I get along with well. I saw this when there was one male who he couldn't influence or manipulate how he saw/interacted with me.
- they will weaponize their own issues/pains/vulnerabilities against you, especially legitimate ones. This is to guilt trip you to get you to put up with them. They need someone to deal with them because they can't/won't deal with themselves.
- they'll tell you what they think you want to hear. If you pay attention you'll notice their lack of sincerity.
- if they ask you questions, they're either data mining for the blueprint to what makes you tick or the questions will lead into what they want to talk about, and that topic is always focused on them personally. It's never a free flowing conversation or an equal exchange. It's either info gathering, testing you, dumping on you or puffing themselves up.
- they don't actually engage in conversations with you, they test you by tossing stuff out there and watching how you respond. They're always observing you in you interactions. The more sensitive/emotional/vulnerable the topic, the more clinical the observations. They're scientists looking through the microscope and you're on the petri dish.
- they're cowards. I'm not trying to be mean with this at all, they literally embody the definition of coward. I think that's where a lot of their rage comes from. They can't handle looking weak, stupid, incompetent, etc. If they can't confront someone in the way they want to or aren't secure in them coming out on top, they'll wait until that person is gone before they say anything. Or they'll be condescending, it depends on what they know they can get away with. But they can't keep their rage in check all the time, so they'll lash out in a passive aggressive manner.
Married to one and just last month I found out what a narcissist even means.. I was used to his behavior with me as we been together for 12 years & I would always question it but would push it aside till recently one day I felt fed up I was wondering why he didn’t talk to me and when he did he was rude and never showed emotion he would only vent about why his day went bad bc of other people etc. Anyway that night I asked myself why is he treating me this way? Like I’m a wall and don’t matter? I’ve done nothing wrong so I sat far across from him and stared at him in confusion his face even looked evil, that’s when I asked God to help me and show me and make me understand why my relationship is like this. The next day I came across a video on YT explaining the meaning of a narcissist it got my attention so that’s how I now know
so you left, right?
You have described covert narcisists very well. Thank you so much.
You are so welcome! God bless you Iza. 🙏🏽😊🕊
Red flags:
1. "Im broken" He told me very early in the beginning and turns out he wasnt kidding.
2. He started out texting daily only to after a while dissapear for three weeks at a time.
3. He seemed very hard and cold from the beginning except from wanting to cuddle.
4. He grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the restaurant we met and without asking me assumed we were going to my place to which I said no.
5. Never wanted to meet around people, always alone "I cant take all the noise outside"
6. He took an apartment across mine just 5 months in. Felt really strange, stalky. My friend warned me about that too.
7. He shyed away from my friends, made plans to meet and never showed, they thought he was strange.
8. Talked LOADS about a bipolar junkie ex twice his age, said they ended it mutually but with time I udnerstood she wasnt happy with him and if you cant even keep someone like that...NOT a good sign.
9. Did the pityplay instantly "Boho Im so broken bc my mother is a narcissist" I should have looked into narcissism right there.
10. Always came unannounced and expected me to drop what I was doing bc HE had arrived. Entitled.
11. Got right up and walked off during a conversation to go lay on the bed both at his place and mine. One of the times he had laied the phone on top of the bed showing me he was texting with the ex. Proudly before he snatched it.
12. One day he was going to move after the ex (she had moved from the city) and the next he was going for my dream about a condo down the hill.
13. "Im the best at my job!" (I looked into that and turns out they want him gone, "There have been problems around him" they told me) He also couldnt even download a free music app on my phone despite working with pc's.
14. Always very quiet and seemingly shy... So quiet and shy I thought he was depressed. It didnt seem..normal.
15. Put a PC together for me and when I asked how I know he didnt place spyware in it? He replied "One does that so it doesnt show" with a smirk. (He enjoyed making me scared/uncomfortable around him)
16. Had the feeling he wasnt especially intelligent and at the end he said he felt stupid. I agree, he did come across as unintelligent.
17. Suffered from "Flat affect" meaning he showed no facial expressions, his face was always a blank stare as if life surprised him.
As you can see there were LOADS of warning flags.
😧 More red flags than a Chinese communist parade! 🚩🚩🚩
@@jessitabonita good one! haha
I saw so many red flags in the beginning. And I actually broke up with him and ONLY THEN realized who and what I had been dealing with for 11 months. He also had psychopathy and was abusive to animals and would laugh if I got hurt. Truly evil and demonic creature. I get really upset with myself for staying as long as I did but God did lead me out if it and I'm thankful I didn't end up marrying him as I had planned.
I am glad GOD SHOWED ME WHO HE EAS I TRULY PRAY GOD WILL BLESD YOU GUYS WITH EVEN MORE INFORMATION TO GIVE TO THOSE WHO MANAGE TO GET AWAY BY THE GRACE OF GOD.
Thank you Katrina.
I thought my previous abusers were the worst but this almost got my soul. It was hard and I had to move out of state where I know no one just to get peace. He had people thinking I am the abuser. I had to give up a $250,000 job and almost went homeless. I lost 2 million in assets and my grand children and son. Every thing but God. Now I working on doing the same type of awareness and education you are doing and trying to put the pieces of my life back together again. It was torture and the red was you are crazy almost 30 years ago and ended with your are crazy,
Rose, I'm so sorry for all the shipwreck you went through, but so glad to hear about God's faithfulness in your life and the awareness and education you're doing. He is so able to take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it around for good. I bless you in the work you're doing! May the Lord prosper you, and take you from glory to glory and strength to strength! 🙏🏽❤️
@@ShaneenMegji Amen, Thank you
Consolation words: The bible says everything we have lost down here we shall gain times 7 in heaven. I will get my house, you will get your fortune.
I understand where not having friends could be a red flag, however there are many people in this community who, because they have now been enlightened by this information have had to cut ties with almost everyone in their life in order to heal, when I woke up, I realized I see narcissists! Just as terrifying as seeing dead people, if not more! And my biggest struggle in my healing journey right now is the fact that I am middle aged with NO ONE around me, I’m hurting too much to invest in new relationships right now, yet I cannot be around the people I’ve known for years because they are predatory.. it is quite the predicament… it’s the thing about becoming healthy which hurts the most.
Same here. It's awfully lonely, but bittersweet to be away from toxicity. I have no family or friends, and church is hard too because so much misunderstanding and judgment.
@@stephm5877 Hi Steph, sending you hugs and prayers🙏🤗
It has been a long lonely road!
but I’m going to share some of the things that have helped me.
1) I started talking to myself, like you would a friend..just by doing that, speaking words of encouragement and love, doing inner child work with a photo of myself when I was 5
Basically giving to myself what I had always wished others would give me.
2) Pouring out all my deep pain and hurt to God. And asking for healing for these inner broken parts of myself.
3) watching LOTS of TH-cam! Focusing more on the vids that are solution based.. sometimes binging on the ones that talk about the narcissist behavior. I find those very validating to the experience.
3) trusting God that He can heal me, and as I heal, He will bring the right people into my life, and I WILL go on to have a blessed life, and he will use the things the devil meant for harm for good!
I just wanted to encourage you, because as alone as I have been, suddenly things are now happening that are wonderful. God is good and you are not forgotten!
@@tammystours5171 Thank you for the kind words! 🙏
Totally understand. Me too. I think God, is leaving us alone until we have matured enough to not enter a toxic relationship again ever. It is a cleansing process. Empaths are food for these predators, and we enter in relations with them because we have not cleaned up our own emotional and mental addictions. Aren't we saviours? Aren't we looking for great big love? These are some of our vulnerable spots that make us their victims.
Yes. I also think God uses narcs in our lives to teach us to listen to him and follow his word. It seems to always be his scripture that gets me out of these messes.
I have so much to say about this, I'm thankful God is teaching me truth and setting me free. I'm thankful for Wisdom and Understanding.
God bless you for making these videos.😊
The Covet Narcissist will never allow the Empath to express the normal array of emotions like fatigue, sadness, fear, indecision or even kindness. But then *they* can have their explosive anger, negative critical ball busting, immature emotional states, and you’re not allowed to judge them lol - they are insane !
There are lots of “pastors” that are narcissist sadly
In retrospect, I now realize my ex started our relationship complaining about how toxic and emasculating his family was to him. Griping about childhood abuse any time I presented expectations I had of him. I later found out he was venting to his family about my issues with his behavior. He pitted me against his family.
Many many thanks for your words & God's words too especially 🌹. Covert narcissists lies lies & more lies from the father of all lies
The difference between covert and overt is mainly the power, wealth, social status. The going idea is that if you handed the wealth and/or power of the overt narc to the covert narc, the covert narc would in fact be an overt. Covert narcs realize they dont have the power in the eyes of society that they feel they deserve. They feel cheated out of their power, or that ppl are just too stupid to see what kind of power they "really have."
Coverts hide. Like under cover. Overts are more obvious.
So lost in themselves
You nailed it. My mother in law thinks she is so wise and great but anything about her is shabby. Now give her the money she always knows what to do with them.
I seem to run into one narc after another! The major signs I received from my covert narc close neighbor was her bossiness, need to control me, and her sense of entitlement for half of my monthly income!
they are everywhere.
@@hannahrosa5485 Agreed!
Maybe it's you and you're projecting.
@@Bopomama I truly don't think so; but anything is possible.
No one is home raising there kids,in daycare from day one!not blaming I know I had to work to!
I’ll take it a step further they’re not internally angry they rage and do yourself a favor don’t criticize or confront them because they will get violent.
@Shaneen this is a very enlightening video but I just want to bring to your attention that covert narcissists are watching these videos and changing up their strategies now when you meet them they tell you the truth and they also show empathy and concern and they fake it pretty well and they wait patiently until your safely past the Honey Moon phase before they start showing their true self the reason they do this is because they know by that time you will be too invested to leave them when the bad behavior starts.
As if a narcissistic person cannot be changed by God. King David was a narcissist so is Trump. What I’m saying is realize this is also becoming a witch hunt for the “enlightened” myself included I have been in both spectrums as an Empath and having immaturity we have to be careful how we also treated people. I’m not cutting people out of my life I simply confront lovingly and God goes to work, some repent some leave.
Yes! And my most recent one is great at apologies. They always feel off. But he has studied well and knows the exact words to use to create the perfect apology for me to drop my guard and let him back in. Eventually, I start seeing things that don't add up again. You will know them by their fruit, I try to remember this. It's so hard when someone can give a deeply genuine sounding apology ... I start thinking I'm the narcissist, which he calls me. But I realize he can only give me an apology that makes any sense at all if I tell him exactly wht to say. He will give me the show of emotions and then want me to drop it 100%.
Very true ❣️
Yes, the silent treatment. It was my first time seeing such a thing.
Just found out that my dad is one and my middle sister is too! Really sad to see this, and totally my ex!
I am thankful for your videos, I know I am not alone’ I have been praying for my Mom to get her inner healing too!
God Bless You my Sister 🙌🕊💜✝️❤️❤️🔥🦋🌈🦅
Thanku for this video. I lived wid a narcs sister in law for 10 years. At that tym didn’t really understand a narcs personality n she was truly covert. But I feel so free now even though she took all our property n left 15 years ago. Don’t care abt all that she took from us just happy to be free from such a toxic person.I’m still enjoying being free from her .Thanku Jesus
Churches need people like you!
I just came out of this kind of toxic relationship, I still need time to heal, it went deeper than I thought ... thank you for your work.
You’re so welcome. God bless you. 🙏🏽
Eye opener for sure. I see this so much in the Christian community.
I see this in every community gender race and creed
My friend sent me this and I couldn’t be more Thankful to her!
I’m in love with a Narcissist !
I need peace ✌️
What i learned the hard way is how she came from a family of 6 other sisters and she came across as the "best sister" out of the group. The father was a blatant "Overt" narcissist and never fooled me. I never even knew that a "Covert" narcissist could ever exist. She wanted to be put on a pedestal above her family in the exact same way as her father, only subtlety. I kept feeding her ego and she stopped working after marriage. Now she uses her weak sisters to stroke her ego. She could NEVER accept correction because you could never get her to talk and open up. I blabbed and gave her control of all the $$ accounts and she always knew my every move and i knew none of hers. What an awful experience and I'll never be the same person again. The father was a self professed born again Christian and allowed his father to sexually abuse at least 3 out of 7 of the daughters. I now understand that "fruits" are the key to true character. I got miraculously downloaded after going through hell. Been a Christian for over 30years and I now know the Jezebel Spirit and my role playing an Ahab. God is very real in a different way now. A very, very broken way to learn how real God is.
First, thank you for this channel. It’s excellent. Second, YES, I was in a relationship with a covert narc. First red flag 🚩 was him calling and texting extensively at the beginning. He partied a lot, he didn’t take good care of his dog. His house was a mess. He didn’t work. His house was left to him when his father passed away. Always tons of people coming over his house. Lots of girls showing up throughout entire relationship. Raging like a lunatic when called out on his behavior. I could go on and on. I finally out when he kept threatening my life. I got a restraining order and that kept him away. He got karma since we’ve been apart and is now in jail.
Your channel is the unicorn I have been looking for! Help in healing from narc abuse from a Biblical perspective. Finally! :-) Thank you sister for all you do. Praise Jesus! God's peace, love and blessings to you.
Thanks for your video! 🌹Interesting, and a clear voice. Keep up with your good work!
It's so great what you are doing! Keep on!
Thank you! God bless you Ekaterina. 🙏🏽😊
Yup. Them hurting or attacking you is somehow your fault and not theirs
@13:04 why am I feeling this is you.
Yes, unfortunately I was divinely guided to a covert narcissist who also sadly seems to be my twin flame. They remind me of my maternal figure. Either way, I prayed for both of them and cut both of them off. 🙏🏽
Gift giving and gift receiving was weird with the convert narcissist that was in my life. When they gave me a gift, it was over and above (too much money, too much of anything.... 5 gold necklaces instead of just one) AND was usually given so other people could witness how wonderful they were. The gift was not about me, it was about them. Frequently, it was a gift that they wanted... i.e electronics that I could not use.
When I gave them a gift, it was never good enough, wrong fit even though it was their size, or just never used or appreciated and easily discarded. Over time I realized it requires some vulnerability to receive a gift. This person did not want to be vulnerable and could not graciously receive any gift. However, if I would ever NOT give them a gift when one was expected, they would be angry - not openly though - just sulking behavior.
The first Christmas my ex and I were together he told me not to spend too much money at Christmas since we had just been married and didn't have a lot of money. He set an actual limit of $100. So I agreed, and come Christmas day, he had me open my present first, which was about $700's worth. Then he opened his gift which cost just under $100.
He blew up, went into a fit of rage, and gave me the silent treatment for a while after that.
Pure crazy making!
Yes! I believe this is one of the tell-tale signs. I've now dated 3 narcs (God help me!) ... and each one would go over and above for me to the point it was deeply uncomfortable to receive, especially for having JUST met someone. Any gift I gave was supbar and I was given the silent treatment or passive aggressive behavior or it wasn't worthy enough. But dare you not give a gift, as the reaction to that is much worse!
My husband is a Convert narcissist
I can no longer stay after a final straw incident. How do you start all over at 75.
Elton John is 74 and when allowed will complete his tour!
So sorry to hear. How r u doing today?. The word will cleanse u r heart and mind.
Hare Kṛṣṇa
The grace of God is cent percent Divine, please. Simply by development of any aspiration for any part of His Divine Grace, or Supreme Grace, all desires absolute in the heart can be fulfilled, including that for any start anew, free from all ... untoward inebriety.
That's a fact.
Hare Rāma
Another "test". Say "no" to one of their requests and watch how they respond. If they ask you to hang out, say no. Or if they want to watch a movie, tell them you'd rather watch another one~ watch how they respond! If they get angry, sulk, pout, or if they continue to try and convince you to do that thing they want~ WATCH OUT! They are testing your boundaries to see how pliable your are!! Narcs love people with no strong boundaries!!
God bless!
One question; why do you have on 12k sub? This is such a gem. Recently got the strength to leave a narc husband after 16 yrs and have been seeking a biblical point of view on this mental/demonic condition.
Yes I fell in the pit with a covert narcissist , and probably from what I have learned since a physcopath .
First red flag was witnessing them react not to me but someone else with disdain , and pure hatred , not that I recognized that's what it was at the time , I just knew this was seriously out of character . Second I was out of town , and had to fly home unexpectedly , I called before departing the air port by there was no answer . I arrived home late showered went to bed she was already sleeping , just drifting off the intercom sounded , it was,a ex of hers . Big coincidence , though it was suspect , she insisted it was . No it wasn't! The first Christmas at he parents . The image was middle class family , but that Christmas was traumatizing . Full of insults , put downs , one uppers , and even physical abuses pokes pinches slaps . I describe it as watching a pack of hyenas, my ex spent the most part curled up on the couch , which I later learned was the norm . That was her way of controlling , block them all out , and be completely indifferent , and oh she isn't feeling well so do not disturb , which left me in this room full of strangers , not having the first clue what to do , but stay out of everyone's way . The next thing was though when we met she presented as being easy going , well balanced , sensible, down to earth , her life was rather aimless , and a mess . Her family was no support , and there I went , maybe with a little help , support , and understanding. Today I would run , far , and fast . Oh the help , and support soon become a obligation, a commitment . I grew accustomed to her circular reasoning , and black.or white , all or nothing thinking . Soon learned confrontation was more trouble , than finding a way to live with it . Learned to lower my expectations , I became a useful tool ! Didn't realize at the time I was becoming less relevant , it became completely about my responsibilities, and it was never quite enough ? She made thecstayement one day , she had married down ? Ridiculous , but I had adapted to ridiculous . On it went until I got sick , and that spelled the beginning of the end! Sorry Randy know you tried , but just wasn't good enough ? What ? What ? That was my wake up call. But the betrayal began at hello !
You got out! Praise God 🙏 enjoy your life of freedom and health
@@fromtheease Thank You , and yes I am , joy , gratitude , peace, room to breath
You should have said at her familys house you had to go and if they asked why simply "Well she isnt feeling well so no need to bother her and shes with family so you'll take care of her, bless you, bye!"
@@Vixinaful Oh that would have upset the apple cart . That would have been appropriate , yes , she does no wrong ? You keep her ! I had a cousin returned his fiance to her parents , and advised them she needed to move home , until she grew up .
@@rsbrinkman9168 JACKPOT, buster! Bwaahaha!
You have very good information, thank you for sharing!
I'm so glad it was helpful. Bless you Kara! 🙏🏽💕
I hear some well put "tell ot like it is!" I really like that coming from a Christian lady. Thanks
Covert Narcissist also start smear campaigns against the person who they believe may be a threat. This is done covertly as well.
I was on the receiving end of this type of thing. Turns out the person who did it also did it to many other people. They ruined reputations and tried to destroy people. They have cancer now. No one seems bothered by it.
Yes
@@laurelwatson3960 Karma
@@MJ-qb5ph Wow. Me too. I am currently going through it gracefully. What I learned is people do not validate me, so who cares. If they choose to believe it, just helps me see who else needs to be eliminated from my life with the Narcissist.
Thank you. I’ve experienced both types . So true . 🙏🏽
There is an unexamined aspect to dating narcissists:
1) If you have issues yourself, sometimes the only romantic partner who will take you is a narcissist. They are very tolerant in some ways.
2) Not everything that is “good” is of God, and not everything that is “evil” is against God’s will.
I’m on the verge of becoming fabulously wealthy within 10 years. I would never be in this path without getting almost destroyed by a narcissist ex girlfriend.
The key with relationship with narcissist is not linger to where you’re permanently affected by them.
These are great insights. Thank you for sharing.
you will definitely learn lessons from dealing with them. or at least you SHOULD....
hence making yourself BETTER.
I agree with you on some things, I almost died more than once bc of him but he taught me my biggest life lesson, I had no idea what evil even was until I met him. he gave me the gift of not being naive.
Jezebel spirit, Liviathon, anti christ are the principalities over their demons
exactly my mother was a narcissist. Shed be on the phone handling business talking nice and get right off the phone and the mask drop and she would curse me out and raise h e double hockey sticks. It was just like dr jekyl and hyde. I wanna say I walked around the first 30 years of my life eyes wide shut. This world is all about empaths vs narcissist and if u are not educated about them u are walking around blind. I just thought some of these people act really WEIRD! around me and are hostile to me and nasty towards me for no reason cause I never done anything to these people. Found out just my existence caused a narcissistic injury to these demons…
Absolutely true,100 percent amen
Do not rush..
Covert Narcs : you never see them coming and boy are they great actors , you'll be manipulated to feel bad for them, they just need some of your money / resources/ attention and then they will do better right ?? They will take and take and take until you are used up and discarded for the next supply source.
Fantastic info 🙏
Thank you!
My Exhusband - as my Mother was one, too. They both were very toxic to me. Almost deadly - literally. And narcs always feel attracted to me - still. But now this will never ever happen again. Because I am aware of that traits now.
You've made some very good points.
My ex apologizes by saying I’m sorry you feel that way
I've been involved with a man for 3 years now who is I believe a covert narcissist. He does not apologize and like you said if he does apologize he does it in a roundabout way, and he won't work out problems his solution if there's a problem is let's break up. The only good times in the relationship have been when he breaks up with me and a few months go by then he wants to get back together and he acts like it's a brand new relationship because narcissists in the beginning are very loving and very fun to be around so I have allowed him to do that because I like how it feels when it's the beginning but I'm tired of it I'm tired of being in a relationship where I feel unloved not just feeling unloved, I know I am not loved by him. I honestly don't think he's capable of those feelings so it's not that I can really blame him because he truly just isn't capable and it's sad it's a sad reality and the longest relationship he told me has been 4 years and he's in his 40s. When I first got with him I didn't know a lot about narcissism or else I would never have stepped into this snake pit. He is not physically abusive but he is definitely emotionally abusive.
He had the sweetest eyes 😍😍😍😳😳😳😫😫😫
So good 👍
Thank you for teaching biblically. Are there questions you can ask that help determine if a person in your life is a covert narcissist?
Facts so true I had one😢
Don’t recommend confronting them in person …dangerous
Agree! No contact
Totally agree...let GOD deal with them in HIS way. .they wouldn't think twice to hurt you...
It's my older sister!!!😱😱😱😵😵😵😭😭😭😭😭 I have to live with her right now. Last night, a familiar pattern showed up again and I fell into her trap again. 😠 She wanted to show me a house on YT and we sat down while she tried to find the video. We had been talking about the Holy Spirit when she flew into a massive rage! 😵😱 I got up to walk away quickly because she has been physically violent with me in the past. I pretty much ran to my room and locked the door, while she ranted outside. She says she's a "Christian", but I think she has a demon+. She gets mad when my little sister (who lives in another state) and I talk about the Lord. She has even told me she didn't want to hear us talk about God. She doesn't believe that the Old Testament should be read as part of Scripture anymore. I feel extreme oppression when she is home or around me....I can't breathe. She fits all 9 of these red flags. She is a top executive in a major resort hotel, and thinks she is the gift to the world! Classic Covert narcissist! Thank goodness she's at work most of the time!
I have no car, I'm 70 years old, and I'm stuck. Please pray for her and me!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😘😘😘
Never set boundaries with these people and they override turn twist
My sister is, its very difficult
I see in MYSELF a lot narcissistic traits ( and I hate this ) and only one thing to stop me to proclaim myself “ the narcissist” is my high level of empathy, (I can feel sometimes even physical pain of people) . I am 12 years in relationship with covert narcissist I found about it 2 years ago. I jumped out from previous abusive relationship quickly like frog from pot with hot water, but me “silly frog” was ALMOST “cooked alive” in relationship with covert narcissist.
Prayers to help and do not give up. Pray I renounce all soul ties with person name in Jesus name. Pray I renounce all covenants with person name in Jesus.
th-cam.com/play/PLPNQdAefzkSNenmX0clUUdyZEr7m2AYte.html
Thank you 🙏
My husband is all the above!!!! Thank you❤❤❤
I’m in one now
My ex is very good at this. He’s very draining on me and the kids but uplifts friends in the fakest ways that make me sick. He’s all about stuff and things and wonders why the kids want to spend the week they’re supposed to be with me, with me. I literally have nothing. He loves that I have nothing. He relishes innit like I’m being punished from God. Maybe I am. I left him in the wrong way. By staying way too long
Yes, I have had both kinds of narcissists in my life, the covert one uses a lot of "plausible deniability", easily denying their tactics. They brag a lot about themselves in subtle ways, a sort of "humble bragging." These people choose those they think they can control and behind everyone's back they pick on those they are jealous of or have contrived offenses against. They are easily angered over the silliest things. A covert narcissist will cry when confronted rather than openly rage, they must let out their anger so it comes out in "victim" mentality.
Add in the new age deception to that !
You missed that they seem often depressed and you feel you have to rescue them and they manipulate !!!
This describes my former "pastor" exactly.
I noticed my sister in law might be the one. She has tendency of double standard, withholding information, and holding grudge.
He had all the traits in retrospect exhibited subtly
How about a "alcholic narcassist"?
What can you tell us about those?🤔
They use pity as a weapon, that and they are passive aggressive. Some narcissist are just aggressive but not a covert. Silent treatment is one of the favorites by these people. They usually are not intelligent. They also are needing. They are lazy as well.
I can never set boundaries with them
It has not been my experience that they don’t have long term relationships. They can hide it for years and they do things like taking a job that gives them time away.
Hard things I'm becoming aware of.
Someone who poses helping me, supposed to be helping me heal. I feel instead is subtly undermining me. I see this person do this to me with a few others. Planting thoughts of certain others to me. Mostly people they feel threatened by.
Red flag?
Yes!!!!
Dear God, help them. Though I must stay away, so I can heal from the abuse, I feel so bad for them.
be glad you know!I am crippled from living with one my whole life!
Hi Sheneem plse can i speak to you .
I live in south Africa.
Thank you🌻
Ohhhhh my Goodness
Yes I have been married to one for 34 years. 😢
I heard that a Jezebels spirit is the same as a narcissist..is this true?
There is definitely a lot of overlap between the two.
I just about lost it when u said they can be found in helping professions. The female covert narc that abused me was in a profession where she was supposed to be helping less fortunate people and do u know out the blue one of them nights she just started talking bad about them and making fun of them with what i found out later was the narc smirk on her face. I thought it was extremely weird and random at the time. Her job is to jave empathy and compassion and help those people not try and kick them when they are down. The same lack of empathy and kicking people when they are down and getting pleasure out of it came my way sooner than later. Also my primary care doctor right now is a covert narc and a raysisst. Her behavior and the things she say to me is very different when its in person visits vs video conference appointments that are being recorded by her employer. She wears the mask then. I actually ran into a few medical doctor narcissist. Not all so please dont come for me. I have encountered some medical doctors that were wonderful and nothing but helpful and a pleasure to deal with but thats one field they hide in. I ran into a few cerebral narcs there bjt whether it was cerebral or covert they all seamed to be rayssisst and resentful to.
They punish every one!
Yes mine is Covert.
What is the difference between NPD with people with INFJ personality or any type of personality who is too sensitive to criticism?
The difference is that for INFJs and other personality types, It is possible to be sensitive to criticism and still have heart-felt empathy towards other people, and still be able to self-reflect and take responsibility for wrongdoings in a relationship. However, someone with NPD lacks the capacity to empathize from the heart and self-reflect. Also, their emotions are primarily anger, hatred and envy--even if they don't show it. This is what is usually brewing underneath the surface. But this is not the case for other personality types, even though they may experience those emotions from time to time--but it is not chronic like it is with a narcissist. I hope this helps.
@@ShaneenMegji owh.. thank you Shaneen🙏
My sister has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and I was wondering if being a narcissist could be a trait of bi-polar. I currently don’t have a relationship with because she very toxic.
Tell them no....
I wouldn’t. I’d silently go no contact
I fell in love with malignant narcissist psychopath before I learned about LOVE BOMBING WAS…🙄🙄🙄