The lack of valid consent due to not having full disclosure is the most profound thing I have ever heard. The betrayal trauma is off the charts because of this. It really clarifies this. Thank you!
When i was 9 i realized that my dad didn't care if i was good or bad, all he wanted was for me to be unhappy. And suddenly i thought "you will NEVER get what you want - from hereon in, no matter how unhappy i am feeling, all you will ever see is me being happy". So i cleaned myself up, i wiped away my tears, i smiled and skipped out of my room 5 mins after a major flogging and into the usual 2 weeks of silent treatment, happy, smiling, contended, and newly empowered and defiant. And everytime he would exert some annoying demand, my thoughts went like this : "You can make me eat what you want, when you want, how much you want, how often you want, you can make me dress how you want, wear what you want, when you want, you can make me say what you want, speak how you want, do what you want, you can make me sleep when you want, how you want, how long etc. You can make me do anything you want, but you can NEVER get inside my head and you can NEVER make me think what you want me to think, and one day i will be 18 and then you can't control me at all, ever again, any more." And one day i was 18, and i left, and i got my freedom, coz i earned it. It was the only way to survive, and i had no idea just how much it would put me in good stead for the next 30 years of living with yet another narcissist ahead of me, but having shaken that off, no-one dominates me anymore. I run the relationships I am in and I do it quietly, and with much power, they have no idea who is really in charge becoz I do it peaceably with outward obedience, love and devotion, whilst leading the mood of the relationship from a spiritual realm. And i have discovered that i am so much more powerful than i ever even knew! But most of it isn't even me, i just accept the power i have been benevolently given and use it as commanded from on high becoz i know my plans are for peace and love and the good growth of all involved ❤ And I am happy now... 😊
I rarely leave comments, but watch so many of your videos. This one was not only helpful but also hilarious 😂 And we need to remember how important it is to keep our sense of humor around ourselves, so we don’t lose our shit over all of the dysfunction. Thank you for this reminder you’re the best.
Mr. Grannon is a very “Special Man” and I know a God given gift to us all! What a fascinating experience to have with him and I am humbled by his knowledge; even though I know that he has mentally elevated me! ♥️🙏🏾💜🫂. I was looking for this and something outside of me sensed my yearning and brought Mr Grannon to my sphere. I was starting to think that I was going to drift, but now I know I am being connected to.
For me it is, and its true. I send something back to them, bombardment of good energy, it will appear to be negative to negative people who love negativity.
Non - stop. Whenever he rages over nothing , I remind him he is not control when he loses his temper. All I did was clean one of his very untidy and dirty flats. What I did was a good thing, but he went ballistic. I gave him no reaction.
@@_YohAsakura_ Well said 👏🏻 Parasitic energy suckers. We give away so much of ourselves when we give into a narcissist. And they will keep taking until your vessel is empty.
Thanks Richard....I don't think people are looking at the Highly Competitive aspects of narcissism...that is the aspect that has damaged me the most....a parent who competes with others and bullies or shames a child to perform,... a sister who tears down any opinion you have...a friend who cannot give compliment, or who needs to copy you,... a partner who covertly cheets to feel better than you and prove they got away with something...a child who needs to argue intelectual points and reach no conclusion...exhausting all of it !! Now I have learn't "don't engage, let them go!!" And realise its their game...not mine....it is the path to peace.❤❤❤
I full well know this one because it's the number 1 thing that starts up straight away it's where they start along with the love bombing in order to drag you in from the second you meet them, and people who don't fully realize it yet won't see it straight away until they pay proper attention to the interactions from them from the start. It's like straight away they zero in on you thinking you're an easy and weak target, and then they act all "nice" at first but that niceness is really taking the absolute mick out of you and being completely condescending and passive aggressive. They try to sound and look as genuine so that you'd believe it's genuine niceness so they can gain your trust, but you can hear it in how they say things and interact with you it's like they're going "oh really? that's nice! i'm glad!" and then nodding and smiling in order to make you feel completely unaccepted and crap about yourself while trying to make you feel accepted and liked by them. So they're doing it simultaneously it's a huge mind twisting thing to do. Already you can feel them attaching to you in this very passive aggressive and highly competitive way where they don't even know you yet but they're already threatened by you and viewing you are "competition" even when you aren't. So straight away they'll start making little things a competition a competitive situation. I've always had this done to me straight away for no reason and it's bizarre i'm not doing anything to them lol how could i be? we don't know each other.
Richard, comedy would be a great 2nd source of income. You're naturally funny, but when triggered, HILARIOUS! Much love to you! I have learned so much from you these last 2 years. Thank you!
I wish I never met this person, I wish I never tied souls with her. She used me for my generosity and split me into two, you don’t lie to someone you claim you love. You don’t intentionally direct somebody’s attention away from the truth, it’s evil and deceitful. It’s so harmful trying to come back from this, I feel damaged. I’m waiting for this mental tormentor in my head to leave. I left her but mentally she’s still fucking here. And it’s scary, I freeze and get filled with fear whenever something reminds me of her. I genuinely feel afraid.
You'll overcome it, don't worry. God tests your faith in your strength and rational mind. I don't belong to any religious group but as a panentheist, I feel that tests come our way and trust me, I know what it means to take a massive hit with all heinous tactics used against you. It weakens and could even cripple you but dig deep and you'll find the answers. Use all tools at your disposal and you'll exit this. Believe in yourself!
You finally have the opportunity to ask yourself the real questions. Why are you attracted to this type of person (once is enough)? Explore your past, really remember what you thought you could forget or repair with your narcissist. You need these answers and ultimately your narcissist offers an opportunity to get back to the root of the problem. In 95% of cases, the narcissist is just a repetition in adulthood of what you experienced as a child. Without demonizing your parents, try to find out why you got involved in this (your abusive romantic relationship). Because it is almost certain that the answer lies in your childhood (or your adolescence) and therefore in your education. If you can isolate the origin of your current misfortunes, be sure that you will get through it. Because if it was a parental abuse (that you probably mislabel today), NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT.
@@roxone7619 we shared a lot in common, when I first met her she seemed so sweet and it was easy to talk to her. I thought she was way out of my league because she was extremely beautiful. She ended up contacting me and chose me as the person she found interest in. I carried that interest with care, because I was lost at the time and was desperate for love and attention. It felt like I was invisible to people so I thought I found somebody that saw me. As a child I feel like my dad was the most narcissistic, he still is and I see how he treats my mom. I think they’re happy but not truly happy in their relationship, there’s a rift between them. There’s a rift between him and myself also, I never really felt like I could open up to him or be myself. He’s very pessimistic and not the person you can go to for comfort. He taught me how NOT to treat my kids when I become a father; and with that experience I believe I am going to be an amazing father to my children. I want my kids to know that I am hardworking, always there for them, that they can come to me in times of need. I wanna be a rock for my children. I believe the lack of a strong reliable father figure caused a void in me, and with that void I found her to fill it. At first in the beginning there was butterflies, non stop. I just felt so happy to talk to her and see her name pop up on my phone. We would stay up literally all night texting or calling, with never ending conversations. There was always something to talk about, that is what caught my interest the most. I love to find a woman with the ability to communicate, I’m also someone who can talk about anything under the sun. As long as it has meaning, I found that enrapturing until things started to go sideways. After about a month of us talking the problems began. We would start having arguments and disagreements, never able to see eye to eye. That lasted our entire relationship and I spent that entire time trying to explain myself. I believe I am able to convey my words quite straightforward but to her it seemed I always had to repeat myself. She would try gas lighting me and manipulating me, so many different tactics. I ended up figuring out that she lied to me about a lot, and it was really just disgusting man. Idk how else to explain it, that is where my thoughts go dark and I feel like I just run away from the thoughts. Never fully actually accepting or understanding what happened to me. She would make me feel like I was crazy, mind you this: she had bpd and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when we broke up😬 I made myself appear naive for my ability to place my trust into people, and she used that against me. She manipulated me.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm the person who has been the most gaslighted of anyone else on the planet. I felt so worthless from youth because of my eccentricity (some people nowadays might call this some shade of neurodivergence), and I had absolutely no concept of any of my value. So I was a complete blank canvass for highly dominant/abusive people (also I experienced extreme emotional abuse from my nuclear family). I truly believed I was worthless based on the abuse at home and the reinforced bullying at school, being badly socialized. So man I was a narcissist's wet dream because I was so easy to control and fill with their evil ideas. I was like a Manchurian candidate, and at least 3 of my closest friends were all narcs, and any romantic partners were cluster B as well. I grew up with 2 borderlines in the house and a cold distant father who stood by and let them destroy me as a young boy. I had a completely destroyed inner sense of self and could not function without the presence of a narc telling me what to do. They completely take over your mind and replace your sense of self with whatever bile they want to spew. It took me so many years to rescue the deeply wounded inner child inside the bombed-out shell of my adult self. I was so fragmented, so destroyed, it is literally a miracle that I can function as an adult at this point in my life. This sh*t is serious folks. But I'm also at a point where I feel so much freedom, that I don't need to incessantly think about the abuse I got anymore. I learned to listen to my own inner voice, I learned that I could have not only an independent sense of self, but an independent sense of volition. It seems like such a strange thing for someone who has never been through it. But if I hadn't gone through the process of soul retrieval and discovering things like the Buddhist/Hindu scriptures and a Course in Miracles, I shudder to think what I might have done to myself. But it is a miracle that I am still here and I am still here. And even happy.
Thank you for sharing ....I'm sorry you went through so much...your a warrior!!!! I hope you continue to share your story whenever you can...so many need to know it's possible to be tested in an extreme way and thrive...so powerful!!!!! I'm so glad your finding happiness!!!
Wow, you’re a miracle. Thank you for sharing what you did. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Thank you for being so strong. I’m so glad that you found your way to survive. I grew up with two narcissists and a bipolar father….suffered and suffered and suffered. Seems I need to leave the last of them behind. Hard stuff. Harder to lose oneself forever. And one doesn’t have forever in this incarnation. Thank you again for what you shared and yes, you are a miracle.
I freaked out a bit when I suddenly felt like he was seeming like a child and I got really scared! I am no longer with him but I suffer from the abuse!
R, you are DEAD ON about the teenage girls behaviours! Having taught them for 15 years, I learned to despise them from 13 to 17, but around 18 they came back to me to apologize and all was well again!
I have so much appreciation and respect for you Dr Grannon. I’ve been living through so much shit for so long. I’ve watched other narc channels. I really respect Dr Ramani and Danish. He is incredible. Very insightful. You though are amazing. Incredible. Thankyou Richard. I dunno how much longer I will live on this plane. But I’m doing my best regardless. Darkness is drawn to the light. Narcs love nothing more than to destroy lives. I knew zero about narcissism until 3 years ago when “my partner” tried to convince me that my mother was a narcissist. When I began to research it i discovered who the King of narcissism was!
Why did he tell our therapist he was craving a deep connection and intimacy and didn’t feel safe being vulnerable with me so coukdnt share? He just didn't want to get tangled in a web because I was so smart to figure out his language I was vulnerable with him only to have things thrown back in my face in devaluing ways. He was only vulnerable during the love-bombing stage but became secretive afterward. The funny thing is, he blamed it on me, saying he couldn’t share things because I would fly off the handle or that he was scared. Then the therapist looks at me and says, “You really need to make your partner feel safe.” It was a total mind fuck.
I received a call from the xnpd yesterday and the first thing they asked was what’s up and what’s been happening in my world…My first thought was to tell him a funny thing that happened right before the call and I thought “oh yeah that’s not gonna be funny to him and he isn’t even interested in anything unless it’s about him so I told him that there’s a lot going on but I don’t think he’s interested in hearing it so I asked him “what’s up with you and he started laughing so hard and I was so happy to hear him laughing because he’s never laughed in the fifteen years of knowing him. He might still be talking, I just hung up after that laugh got old.
Love your videos Richard. Your humour, laughter, languages are all added bonuses on the brilliant sense. Been with you since Malaysia and you've honestly changed by life. My introject covert narc mother is gone from my brain hallelujah 😂❤
Richard you crack me up, thank you for making me able to laugh at the steaming pile of crap my mother and THREE covert narcissist partners have tried to bury me in. SAMURAI attitude here.
I describe him as being intrusive. So intrusive. No request for consent. Boundary stomping. It will never end. Life changing end of trust. Is there any hope to recover? Every time I think I am healing, something happens and I am pushed backwards. It is so frustrating and shameful that I let this happen and can’t recover fully. I want my ignorance back sometimes 😂
It took me 3-4 years but I'm not only out of the relationship, I find him and all like him revolting.. I now will not get into a relationship that doesn't respect me and my boundaries.. stay strong ❤❤
SAME.. and I hate how they accuse us of paranoia.. but, THEY put the paranoia in us! Ugh, this narcissistic abuse REALLY leaves serious damage to us. I hope you're well today. I sympathize Big with feeling extreme paranoia 😔 ... you're in my prayers
Richard - your readiness to humour is so good for the soul. Love the tired solutes that often offers very inciteful bits wrapped up in fun. Ta heaps for your efforts.
Dear Mr. Grannon, it's so good to know that you are completely over your narcissistic ex and don't mind your IQ at all! That's the state we all are thriving for ✨️🤣
Thank you so much. I was just trying to explain to my grandmother how I hear HIS voice as my inner voice, that I hear both of us in my head now.😢 I still have a long journey after 11 yrs and only 2 weeks away from him, mostly, since we have a 10 yr old together ...yikes
Ha ha! I'm sorry but I enjoyed your little melt down!! 😄 I'm not a sadist! Its just nice to see you're human and not perfect! I think you're hilarious. You've also helped me get off the ground after being steamrolled over by someone I loved. Didn't know I was history until I was ghosted for a year. Trauma. Went back, just for an explanation and an apology. Waited, more crappy behaviour and then summoned the strength to walk away and have said "No" to everything since. Looking over my shoulder though. Theresa history of reemerging.Waste of so much time, the games and mind games its baffling. Why not be up front "Im not interested" you walk away and live your life. The slights and insults!? Yeah bye Felicia
I'm an empath, however after 5 years of being in a relationship with a narcassist , it took me this long to realize what kind of individual I've been in a relationship. I had always thought I was a strong woman after raising my girls alone after my husband was killed in a car wreck after 3 years of marriage; about a year after he passed I encountered a new relationship and began on a clouded life of narcassist. Not one, but two different men. I am now in my 50's and realize that sadly, though my mom loved me, I realized she was a narcassist. I was never allowed to be myself. She had a cookie cutter mold of what she felt my life should be. I feel bad saying this, but now that I realize I haven't healed from mom's behavior, I can work on me and not falling into more if these relationships. I just broke up with my 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. It jas been so difficult. Howe er, I've been watching you for 3 days now, and want you to know it has helped listening to you. Thank you!!❤
Great video Richard, and I love that you're totally relaxed today! Your insights confirm why I sometimes catch myself still ruminating about his influence although I moved to another country to give an end to his stalking and hoovering intents for almost 2 years ago! Tu inteligencia me inspira⚘️
I have trouble sleeping every single night... terrible insomnia. You all are not all alone! Nightmares, wake up drenched in sweat. I have 3 sets of sheets just for this reason. THEY TRULY RUIN US.
Any colour of sneakers 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉 brilliant. I was wondering why this guy is in my head because I am not "vulnerable" or have a history of being abused (more than the ordininary abuse every human encounters), and I am most of the time in control of my emotions. Now I get it. The whole episode was a great opportunity for me to deeply see into someones mind who I wouldnt ordinarily have access to, and interact with, and when I first encountered him, I couldn't get a read on him. Red flag!!! Thank you Richard 🎉
For real: the freedom of giving up your freedom by joining the military. A coin toss, whether the leadership of your command sucks or not, but if it does suck you can complain all you want, and for the most part it builds comradery against your own CO (with the exception of the suck ups ofc). A coin toss, whether your duty station sucks, but if it does suck you can complain all you want, and you still have your base/military community to fall back on, even when you live off base. And you know in a couple years, you move on or your CO moves on. Fresh start. So much freedom in that.
I had a sociopathic covert vulnerable narc, I had met him in my late teens & he looked me up on fb not long after I started. So my man of 18+yrs & bf for life died, I was on a long bender then got with the narc & OmG I didn't know my ass from my elbow when covid hit & I got to leave after googling his behaviours... I'm still trauma bonded to him to this day, hence why I'm here
My oldest sister (56) has had standard NPD all her life, she checks every box on the list. She has a narcotic dependency on any kind of drama and talking behind people's back. It's the only thing she lives for and she withers away like a plant without water if she doesn't get her dose. I've only talked to her a handful of times the last 20 years and not at all the last 10 years. Thinking last fall age should have made it possible to at least have a single conversation with her while she visited our father with her 14 year old son who is engulfed in her traps and maniacal insanities to the degree he has cut out his father, who is the sane one, I walked head on into a trap designed to make me feel like the stupid, gullible, egotistic 5 year old little brother again. Completely out of the blue. From one second to the next. This is just pure, pure sickness I thought and I left. I then proceeded to walk around in a circle in my livingroom for 14 days afterwards yelling out loud at her, not being present obviously, and myself. It can't be stressed enough: Never ever have any contact whatsoever with someone with NPD. After 14 days, I returned to what was my previous belief, without a care in the world: She is a confused, stupendeously underdeveloped child. She never moved past age 12. I get an icky feeling calling her "she", affirming she's human. I don't have a self-preserving need to think of her as a non-human/broken robot, it's a scientific observation. And another scientific observation is that she will be the same until she dies, most likely from Alzheimers like our mom. The signs are already there. I wonder if NPD people have a much higher chance of getting Alzheimers. It would be logical, since they have an almost sexual drive towards burning all bridges.
Oof she sounds nasty, and im sorry you had to be given her as your sister. Her poor son hey. Stay in your lane, your boundaries keep you safe ❤ Alzeimers is now considered a type 3 diabetes due to its correlation with blood glucose issues. I also have a narc Mum (69) and ahe is showing early dementia signs. She eats a high carb diet but on the other hand, my theory is if they spend their whole life lying to themselves and avoiding self development and growth of ANY kind then your brain is going to cognitively decline cos it hasnt been used 😂
It's not her, it's the demons who possess her. She is trapped in there and that obssession you get when you've been around her is actually something they do to you coz they've been watching you all your life. You bite... and you bite well, and they will continue this crap until you rise above it all and it doesn't work on you anymore. That is the only time it will stop , but her torment will not...
My Narc grandma got Alzheimer's. I've been hearing the theory that they all get it and now I can't unsee it. Narcs lose their fragile little minds after abusing everyone else for decades. That's karma imo
Yip everything you said there, my RA is way worse, panic attacks, loss of confidence, paranoia, interrupted sleep, feeling sick, gut problems, trust issues. I'm finding it hard to deal with everything. Just absolutely smh in annoyance.
Introjection is a psychological process where a person unconsciously adopts the thoughts, values, or personality traits of another person or object. It can occur as a normal part of development, such as when a child takes on their parents' values, or as a defense mechanism in anxiety-provoking situations
Lmao omg, question 🤣 Im binging a bit today on your content and the hilarious lil blurps and nonverbal communication have got me a couple times today!!! 😅 Question, tell me what you think about me, I buy my own diamonds and buy my rings bahahah.
Thank you Richard, love listening to you. It's warm open and understandable. Well,... except the Spanish!😅 Can you recommend a therapist? Or where to look for one? Thanks 😊
Parents are harder to recover from becoz their programming is laid down younger and so therefore the wiring in the brain is deeper - the rewiring must be done on a higher level, like the superconscious level. My father controlled my life with food, which is a most basic basic basic level of control and i found that every narcissist that came along afterwards gladly took over those reigns becoz they are powerful indeed. When i took them back and started to listen to my body regarding food and eating how i finally wanted, their rage was palpable becoz they knew what they were losing... I had no idea but they did, obviously.
So much of what you talked about resonated, so funny when you said , I could eat berries today, but I'll eat them tomorrow, how we often focus / feel comfortable in the negative / onslaught of potential danger, this was always my pet hate with others, how times change ! Years ago ,( before I did my counselling degree) I trained / re programmed myself ( basically did CBT on myself), and positive thoughts and experiences were made, and then low n behold , it was wasted on people who didn't get it, never mind , it is what it is. A lady on this live mentioned the male narcissist and bisexuality, yes, very interesting lead. Shout out to Primal Way , ha ha ! Capitalisim ? Makes me think of Ren's money game, part three, what a music video ! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself Richard. Keep well all.
Wow. The saber tooth tiger vs leisurely berry picking decision analogy was pretty eye-opening! That contrast about negative vs positive message adaptations will be staying with me for a while. This was deep.
The sexuality of the narcissist I’ve been with is that it’s not so much the sex of the person but they don’t seem to care who they sleep with in a sense it’s more to do with the attention they are getting. That’s what i experienced, to be honest I’ve even questioned my sexually jt I know mine comes from past abuse and I’ve struggled with it .
I think another evolutionary aspect of why people go along with the bully, is because in a zero-sum world where different groups were competing for resources, being aligned with the biggest bully was safer than being aligned with a leader who would get dominated and lose. It seems a very basic survival mechanism but submitting to sociopathic megabullies was in some ways the most smart thing to do. As we’ve evolved it’s become clearer that this is NOT actually the smartest move, but it’s taking humanity a while to figure it out.
Nah it's just because our world is too corrupt and every little thing is made to be so difficult all the time when it doesn't need to be, nothing has to be so hard. When their creature comforts are taken away and they never got the support they needed while always shutting them down, invalidating them, never listening to them on purpose, and making them feel absolutely powerless in them it does things to you and your self worth from day 1. On top of it not teaching them the skills to function in the world we live in it creates serious issues and as if it wasn't bad enough it's like omg! what?! how is this to anyone's or my benefit? and you don't know what to do about it because you can't because our world actively works against people so we can't do anything about it usually. Having all these things are fundamental but our world would rather not give it to us in the name of power and profit while they make you think you're asking too much and being ungrateful and ridiculous, no we're not asking for too much at all it should be an absolute fundamental right. When things are too hard and depriving that causes so much conflict especially internal and nothing makes sense to how us humans function and what we really need. They'll pull you in again and again convincing you it all really does make sense and you're alienated for it if you don't agree because believing it you'd be confident with absolute certainty you're doing things right, living right, and maybe even doing the right things morally, and they can get you to do or perceive anything while you do. If it all made sense then why are we being used, taken advance of, extorted, and abused on a daily basis? the internal conflict we feel about all that and all the confusing messages given to us is just insane and not how we really want to exist.
I agree we don't want to make all the choices all the time i often think about this and honestly we can't do it all there's so much needed to coordinate things and our world, it's impossible to do it all by ourselves. Who knows why so much pressure is put on us to do so i guess it goes with how unrealistic our world has been. My ideal environment is like in stargate sg1 or star trek tng and voyager lol they want to build real and lasting relationships with their crew not trauma bonded relationships and feel strongly about never jeopardizing that trust they aren't cowards by any means. it's the only sort of people i've ever found i can listen to someone that really wants things to mean something and innocent enough it's not their nature to want to hurt others, i would follow them anywhere. I guess because they make such great, fair, highly cooperative leaders who would do anything for their world and the people on it🙂if i were in a role where i did things for a real just cause and not one i should blindly believe is a just cause i would gladly be a part of it. There can still be chaos it just doesn't always have to be very toxic chaos all the time 24/7 and it would be boring without some chaos. it's the kind of environment that makes an ideal culture too because there's a balance in all things. You break it you fix it and take responsibility no exceptions, everyone gets the same, they get all the support and resources they need exactly when it's needed, and it's where the real problem solving and action really is where things get discovered and really solved. Everyone is treated with utmost fairness and when they aren't you find a way to resolve it, not stand up for the bully while alienating the person who was really wronged like our world does.
Its called the Izanami. I'm not in your head, you are. This is your battle and there's many different correct ways to do something but only one true way. Goodluck.
My mom always asks to borrow things .. let’s say kitchen items and then she keeps them.. she says weird things to me when I hug her.. she said .. I’m so glad we have a loving relationship.. woah! She’s her family scapegoat and I in turn am mine and is that projecting or is it the dominance she requires? It’s like looking at a foreign roadmap and not knowing what direction is..
The real problem is after the lovebomb you live inside THEIR head. You don’t have the free agency you once had. Like Norman Bates living inside that Victorian mansion on the hill, living inside his mother’s mind.
My nex still insists that I'm the narcissist. Yet I have been studying it nearly every day for the last 1.5 years, literally hundreds to a thousand hours. Every video confirms that she is. Every scenario matches her. Every criteria fits. And I've also confirmed that I am not, but am a codependent with a fair amount of CPTSD that my therapist says was revitalized by my nex. And still, with every new video I watch, every new story I read, every crappy comment she makes, I still question myself and re-evaluate if I am indeed a narcissist. Which my therapist then says is re-traumatizing myself. It's super fun.
what about placebo, Richard? the narcissists are the prove to me, their hunger for your mental energy/attention magical thinking is when one just dreams and does nothing....mental work, meditations is not a magic tool, it is for directing yourself it is working on mental state that helps to choose correct actions
50:34 One I recognized the introject.. it was a lightbulb going off. Now the battle begins to exercise that demon who whispers poison in my mind like Grima Wormtongue.
The passage regarding the natural inclination in most people to want to be led was particularly interesting. Especially when Richard comes to the conclusion that human beings are ultimately not adapted to the modernity that they have created. The society of abundance is an anomaly because it promises the unlimited. But nothing is more distressing, even terrifying, than such a notion for finite beings. Even the most fervent advocate of total freedom ends up delimiting this "totality", often through ridiculous oratorical contortions (for example in France during the student revolts of 1968, one of the slogans was: "It is forbidden to forbid", which is the pinnacle of the paradoxical injunction). There is something biologically incompatible - and Richard very rightly points out this - between the claim of unlimited existential choice and the real capacity of the human being to fully use such potential (real or supposed). As was said in the video, fully assuming the consequences of a choice, with all the collateral impacts that this implies, is often too heavy to bear. The feeling of guilt that would result from failure would be overwhelming. Reason why we need to live in society: to dilute personal responsibility in the social body. Because it is simply unbearable to take on everything, the losses being almost always greater than the gains. And as Richard very well reminded us, the human brain is much more sensitive to failure than to accomplishment. And if by chance a narcissist goes through this to guarantee this role, due to a completely distorted vision of himself and others, a large part of the population will not ask for anything better. When you think about it, Napoleon's rise after the French Revolution is just that.
My NPD stopped every form of intimacy after appx 4 mos!!! I t devastated me in every way. He said it was due to past trauma but we never ended up resuming the relationship sexual etc. It's 8 yrd..he's on hard drugs fentanyl..crack...here I am isolated in every way afraid to move or unae to think on my ow ...fi ancially crippled. A ice of hell with rats bug infestations from him etc.iving at substance level inside a Milian dollar house fallen apsrt...
church / religion & schools teach us to passively sit spellbound & speechless while charismatic & larger-than-life teachers & preachers dominate & lord it over us, so some of us turn into dominant charismatic (sadistic) narcissists while others become passive observers/ victims, at least that’s my experience; narcissistic churches & snobbish grammar schooling could have made me a leader / sociopath or a masochistic empath simp & I became the latter, speaking of grammar school, one guy who was already a teenage narcissist became a stripper & made a fortune teasing / breadcrumbing drunken gays & another ex-grammar school boy became a S&M Master while another became a Trans, between the 4 of us we prove the nurture / environment creates personalities theory
I'm having trouble understanding the difference between a narcissist and a codependent. The guy I was with for eleven years didn't have any problem telling me about his dysfunctional childhood, and seemed to sincerely admit to having a breakdown when I made him leave. Would a narcissist do that? If so, would he be considered a vulnerable narcissist?
My narcissistic parents appropriated and weaponized self-help and spiritual phrases. Ironically, their BS sparked my curiosity. I was able to find the goodfaith versions which have been integral to my recovery of self.
The lack of valid consent due to not having full disclosure is the most profound thing I have ever heard. The betrayal trauma is off the charts because of this. It really clarifies this. Thank you!
My situation to a tee.
When i was 9 i realized that my dad didn't care if i was good or bad, all he wanted was for me to be unhappy.
And suddenly i thought "you will NEVER get what you want - from hereon in, no matter how unhappy i am feeling, all you will ever see is me being happy".
So i cleaned myself up, i wiped away my tears, i smiled and skipped out of my room 5 mins after a major flogging and into the usual 2 weeks of silent treatment, happy, smiling, contended, and newly empowered and defiant.
And everytime he would exert some annoying demand, my thoughts went like this :
"You can make me eat what you want, when you want, how much you want, how often you want, you can make me dress how you want, wear what you want, when you want, you can make me say what you want, speak how you want, do what you want, you can make me sleep when you want, how you want, how long etc.
You can make me do anything you want, but you can NEVER get inside my head and you can NEVER make me think what you want me to think, and one day i will be 18 and then you can't control me at all, ever again, any more."
And one day i was 18, and i left, and i got my freedom, coz i earned it.
It was the only way to survive, and i had no idea just how much it would put me in good stead for the next 30 years of living with yet another narcissist ahead of me, but having shaken that off, no-one dominates me anymore.
I run the relationships I am in and I do it quietly, and with much power, they have no idea who is really in charge becoz I do it peaceably with outward obedience, love and devotion, whilst leading the mood of the relationship from a spiritual realm.
And i have discovered that i am so much more powerful than i ever even knew! But most of it isn't even me, i just accept the power i have been benevolently given and use it as commanded from on high becoz i know my plans are for peace and love and the good growth of all involved ❤
And I am happy now... 😊
I rarely leave comments, but watch so many of your videos. This one was not only helpful but also hilarious 😂 And we need to remember how important it is to keep our sense of humor around ourselves, so we don’t lose our shit over all of the dysfunction. Thank you for this reminder you’re the best.
Mr. Grannon is a very “Special Man” and I know a God given gift to us all! What a fascinating experience to have with him and I am humbled by his knowledge; even though I know that he has mentally elevated me! ♥️🙏🏾💜🫂. I was looking for this and something outside of me sensed my yearning and brought Mr Grannon to my sphere. I was starting to think that I was going to drift, but now I know I am being connected to.
It’s awful. It’s a bombardment of negative energy.
For me it is, and its true. I send something back to them, bombardment of good energy, it will appear to be negative to negative people who love negativity.
@@_YohAsakura_ intuitively came to doing like that too
And toxic shame
Non - stop. Whenever he rages over nothing , I remind him he is not control when he loses his temper. All I did was clean one of his very untidy and dirty flats. What I did was a good thing, but he went ballistic. I gave him no reaction.
@@_YohAsakura_ Well said 👏🏻 Parasitic energy suckers. We give away so much of ourselves when we give into a narcissist. And they will keep taking until your vessel is empty.
Thanks Richard....I don't think people are looking at the Highly Competitive aspects of narcissism...that is the aspect that has damaged me the most....a parent who competes with others and bullies or shames a child to perform,... a sister who tears down any opinion you have...a friend who cannot give compliment, or who needs to copy you,... a partner who covertly cheets to feel better than you and prove they got away with something...a child who needs to argue intelectual points and reach no conclusion...exhausting all of it !! Now I have learn't "don't engage, let them go!!" And realise its their game...not mine....it is the path to peace.❤❤❤
Excellent message!
I full well know this one because it's the number 1 thing that starts up straight away it's where they start along with the love bombing in order to drag you in from the second you meet them, and people who don't fully realize it yet won't see it straight away until they pay proper attention to the interactions from them from the start.
It's like straight away they zero in on you thinking you're an easy and weak target, and then they act all "nice" at first but that niceness is really taking the absolute mick out of you and being completely condescending and passive aggressive. They try to sound and look as genuine so that you'd believe it's genuine niceness so they can gain your trust, but you can hear it in how they say things and interact with you it's like they're going "oh really? that's nice! i'm glad!" and then nodding and smiling in order to make you feel completely unaccepted and crap about yourself while trying to make you feel accepted and liked by them. So they're doing it simultaneously it's a huge mind twisting thing to do.
Already you can feel them attaching to you in this very passive aggressive and highly competitive way where they don't even know you yet but they're already threatened by you and viewing you are "competition" even when you aren't. So straight away they'll start making little things a competition a competitive situation. I've always had this done to me straight away for no reason and it's bizarre i'm not doing anything to them lol how could i be? we don't know each other.
Richard, comedy would be a great 2nd source of income. You're naturally funny, but when triggered, HILARIOUS! Much love to you! I have learned so much from you these last 2 years. Thank you!
I wish I never met this person, I wish I never tied souls with her. She used me for my generosity and split me into two, you don’t lie to someone you claim you love. You don’t intentionally direct somebody’s attention away from the truth, it’s evil and deceitful. It’s so harmful trying to come back from this, I feel damaged. I’m waiting for this mental tormentor in my head to leave. I left her but mentally she’s still fucking here. And it’s scary, I freeze and get filled with fear whenever something reminds me of her. I genuinely feel afraid.
You'll overcome it, don't worry. God tests your faith in your strength and rational mind. I don't belong to any religious group but as a panentheist, I feel that tests come our way and trust me, I know what it means to take a massive hit with all heinous tactics used against you. It weakens and could even cripple you but dig deep and you'll find the answers. Use all tools at your disposal and you'll exit this. Believe in yourself!
Tell here to f of in your head
This is what I keep thinking about the disordered man in my life. My mother was so right, but I was so in lust with him.
You finally have the opportunity to ask yourself the real questions. Why are you attracted to this type of person (once is enough)? Explore your past, really remember what you thought you could forget or repair with your narcissist. You need these answers and ultimately your narcissist offers an opportunity to get back to the root of the problem. In 95% of cases, the narcissist is just a repetition in adulthood of what you experienced as a child. Without demonizing your parents, try to find out why you got involved in this (your abusive romantic relationship). Because it is almost certain that the answer lies in your childhood (or your adolescence) and therefore in your education. If you can isolate the origin of your current misfortunes, be sure that you will get through it. Because if it was a parental abuse (that you probably mislabel today), NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT.
@@roxone7619 we shared a lot in common, when I first met her she seemed so sweet and it was easy to talk to her. I thought she was way out of my league because she was extremely beautiful. She ended up contacting me and chose me as the person she found interest in. I carried that interest with care, because I was lost at the time and was desperate for love and attention. It felt like I was invisible to people so I thought I found somebody that saw me. As a child I feel like my dad was the most narcissistic, he still is and I see how he treats my mom. I think they’re happy but not truly happy in their relationship, there’s a rift between them. There’s a rift between him and myself also, I never really felt like I could open up to him or be myself. He’s very pessimistic and not the person you can go to for comfort. He taught me how NOT to treat my kids when I become a father; and with that experience I believe I am going to be an amazing father to my children. I want my kids to know that I am hardworking, always there for them, that they can come to me in times of need. I wanna be a rock for my children. I believe the lack of a strong reliable father figure caused a void in me, and with that void I found her to fill it. At first in the beginning there was butterflies, non stop. I just felt so happy to talk to her and see her name pop up on my phone. We would stay up literally all night texting or calling, with never ending conversations. There was always something to talk about, that is what caught my interest the most. I love to find a woman with the ability to communicate, I’m also someone who can talk about anything under the sun. As long as it has meaning, I found that enrapturing until things started to go sideways. After about a month of us talking the problems began. We would start having arguments and disagreements, never able to see eye to eye. That lasted our entire relationship and I spent that entire time trying to explain myself. I believe I am able to convey my words quite straightforward but to her it seemed I always had to repeat myself. She would try gas lighting me and manipulating me, so many different tactics. I ended up figuring out that she lied to me about a lot, and it was really just disgusting man. Idk how else to explain it, that is where my thoughts go dark and I feel like I just run away from the thoughts. Never fully actually accepting or understanding what happened to me. She would make me feel like I was crazy, mind you this: she had bpd and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when we broke up😬 I made myself appear naive for my ability to place my trust into people, and she used that against me. She manipulated me.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm the person who has been the most gaslighted of anyone else on the planet. I felt so worthless from youth because of my eccentricity (some people nowadays might call this some shade of neurodivergence), and I had absolutely no concept of any of my value. So I was a complete blank canvass for highly dominant/abusive people (also I experienced extreme emotional abuse from my nuclear family). I truly believed I was worthless based on the abuse at home and the reinforced bullying at school, being badly socialized. So man I was a narcissist's wet dream because I was so easy to control and fill with their evil ideas. I was like a Manchurian candidate, and at least 3 of my closest friends were all narcs, and any romantic partners were cluster B as well. I grew up with 2 borderlines in the house and a cold distant father who stood by and let them destroy me as a young boy.
I had a completely destroyed inner sense of self and could not function without the presence of a narc telling me what to do. They completely take over your mind and replace your sense of self with whatever bile they want to spew. It took me so many years to rescue the deeply wounded inner child inside the bombed-out shell of my adult self. I was so fragmented, so destroyed, it is literally a miracle that I can function as an adult at this point in my life. This sh*t is serious folks. But I'm also at a point where I feel so much freedom, that I don't need to incessantly think about the abuse I got anymore. I learned to listen to my own inner voice, I learned that I could have not only an independent sense of self, but an independent sense of volition. It seems like such a strange thing for someone who has never been through it. But if I hadn't gone through the process of soul retrieval and discovering things like the Buddhist/Hindu scriptures and a Course in Miracles, I shudder to think what I might have done to myself. But it is a miracle that I am still here and I am still here. And even happy.
❤
Thank you for sharing ....I'm sorry you went through so much...your a warrior!!!! I hope you continue to share your story whenever you can...so many need to know it's possible to be tested in an extreme way and thrive...so powerful!!!!! I'm so glad your finding happiness!!!
Wow, you’re a miracle. Thank you for sharing what you did. Thank you for being so vulnerable. Thank you for being so strong. I’m so glad that you found your way to survive. I grew up with two narcissists and a bipolar father….suffered and suffered and suffered. Seems I need to leave the last of them behind. Hard stuff. Harder to lose oneself forever. And one doesn’t have forever in this incarnation. Thank you again for what you shared and yes, you are a miracle.
25:22 ….. Sex with a narcissist is soulless ….
It sure was good though!
Not to me, that’s for sure !
@Yvonne
I freaked out a bit when I suddenly felt like he was seeming like a child and I got really scared! I am no longer with him but I suffer from the abuse!
I think the opposite, soulless otherwise but in bed fucking the soul out of you
@@hettykoster9447 Indeed. Mechanical, robotic, devoid of any emotional closeness or intimacy. Just " empty. "
I'm glad I didn't miss that. I needed those laughs. Sleep tight. We are all sending you cosmic signals for a good night's rest.
I wish I could get done work on time 🤷♂️🤦♂️🤷♂️ anyways … dats a me ruminating issue … glad it’s posted for review 😇
R, you are DEAD ON about the teenage girls behaviours! Having taught them for 15 years, I learned to despise them from 13 to 17, but around 18 they came back to me to apologize and all was well again!
I have so much appreciation and respect for you Dr Grannon.
I’ve been living through so much shit for so long. I’ve watched other narc channels. I really respect Dr Ramani and Danish. He is incredible. Very insightful.
You though are amazing. Incredible. Thankyou Richard.
I dunno how much longer I will live on this plane. But I’m doing my best regardless.
Darkness is drawn to the light. Narcs love nothing more than to destroy lives.
I knew zero about narcissism until 3 years ago when “my partner” tried to convince me that my mother was a narcissist.
When I began to research it i discovered who the King of narcissism was!
The way you explain things... Is amazingly understandable
Why did he tell our therapist he was craving a deep connection and intimacy and didn’t feel safe being vulnerable with me so coukdnt share? He just didn't want to get tangled in a web because I was so smart to figure out his language I was vulnerable with him only to have things thrown back in my face in devaluing ways. He was only vulnerable during the love-bombing stage but became secretive afterward. The funny thing is, he blamed it on me, saying he couldn’t share things because I would fly off the handle or that he was scared. Then the therapist looks at me and says, “You really need to make your partner feel safe.” It was a total mind fuck.
I received a call from the xnpd yesterday and the first thing they asked was what’s up and what’s been happening in my world…My first thought was to tell him a funny thing that happened right before the call and I thought “oh yeah that’s not gonna be funny to him and he isn’t even interested in anything unless it’s about him so I told him that there’s a lot going on but I don’t think he’s interested in hearing it so I asked him “what’s up with you and he started laughing so hard and I was so happy to hear him laughing because he’s never laughed in the fifteen years of knowing him. He might still be talking, I just hung up after that laugh got old.
I think you are the yt person I’ve followed the longest. Muchas gracias. Me ayudaste.
Love your videos Richard. Your humour, laughter, languages are all added bonuses on the brilliant sense. Been with you since Malaysia and you've honestly changed by life. My introject covert narc mother is gone from my brain hallelujah 😂❤
Richard you crack me up, thank you for making me able to laugh at the steaming pile of crap my mother and THREE covert narcissist partners have tried to bury me in. SAMURAI attitude here.
I describe him as being intrusive. So intrusive. No request for consent. Boundary stomping.
It will never end.
Life changing end of trust.
Is there any hope to recover? Every time I think I am healing, something happens and I am pushed backwards.
It is so frustrating and shameful that I let this happen and can’t recover fully. I want my ignorance back sometimes 😂
It took me 3-4 years but I'm not only out of the relationship, I find him and all like him revolting..
I now will not get into a relationship that doesn't respect me and my boundaries.. stay strong ❤❤
You will get out. No matter how long it takes.
Brainwashing from narc 🤔
❤I cannot believe how much i i have learn from your videos❤.So happy to have internet n thank you again❤.
You always hit the spot everytime❤.Thank you for your great knowledge Richard😂❤.
Hearing you say TAco Bell made me smile so big 😁 brilliant insights. Much gratitude for the work you put into these videos.
Tack-oh Bull?
u are a great human beeing and I love your humor
Thanks for your insights ❤
great video, ive been watching a while and you have helped me understand the narc and abuse a lot better! :D
paranoid -as i am watching this , ugh , but at least with this community , i dont feel alone
SAME.. and I hate how they accuse us of paranoia.. but, THEY put the paranoia in us! Ugh, this narcissistic abuse REALLY leaves serious damage to us. I hope you're well today. I sympathize Big with feeling extreme paranoia 😔 ... you're in my prayers
@@elisaacello4821 thanks ! best to you as well ✨
Thanks Richard... your content always makes me think, and tonight you made me smile and laugh out loud too.
Brilliant once again! Shooting some love to you!
Thank you.
Richard - your readiness to humour is so good for the soul. Love the tired solutes that often offers very inciteful bits wrapped up in fun. Ta heaps for your efforts.
Dear Mr. Grannon, it's so good to know that you are completely over your narcissistic ex and don't mind your IQ at all! That's the state we all are thriving for ✨️🤣
Amen !🙏🏻
Thank you so much. I was just trying to explain to my grandmother how I hear HIS voice as my inner voice, that I hear both of us in my head now.😢 I still have a long journey after 11 yrs and only 2 weeks away from him, mostly, since we have a 10 yr old together ...yikes
I like the long form, rambling on and jokes!
Ha ha! I'm sorry but I enjoyed your little melt down!! 😄 I'm not a sadist! Its just nice to see you're human and not perfect! I think you're hilarious. You've also helped me get off the ground after being steamrolled over by someone I loved. Didn't know I was history until I was ghosted for a year. Trauma. Went back, just for an explanation and an apology. Waited, more crappy behaviour and then summoned the strength to walk away and have said "No" to everything since. Looking over my shoulder though. Theresa history of reemerging.Waste of so much time, the games and mind games its baffling. Why not be up front "Im not interested" you walk away and live your life. The slights and insults!? Yeah bye Felicia
I'm an empath, however after 5 years of being in a relationship with a narcassist , it took me this long to realize what kind of individual I've been in a relationship. I had always thought I was a strong woman after raising my girls alone after my husband was killed in a car wreck after 3 years of marriage; about a year after he passed I encountered a new relationship and began on a clouded life of narcassist. Not one, but two different men.
I am now in my 50's and realize that sadly, though my mom loved me, I realized she was a narcassist. I was never allowed to be myself. She had a cookie cutter mold of what she felt my life should be.
I feel bad saying this, but now that I realize I haven't healed from mom's behavior, I can work on me and not falling into more if these relationships. I just broke up with my 5 year relationship with my boyfriend. It jas been so difficult. Howe er, I've been watching you for 3 days now, and want you to know it has helped listening to you.
Thank you!!❤
Obsessed with anal sex??
Male narc, never completely gave consent.. but he seemingly didn't care and had his wicked way with me anyways!! 😢
I so appreciate your content Richard✨ The peppering of humour is a soothing balm 😂💖
Proud of you, Richard. You rocket it xx
Yes, Richard has me laughing ALOT, even when I don't want to 🙃
Thankyou Richard❤
Great video Richard, and I love that you're totally relaxed today! Your insights confirm why I sometimes catch myself still ruminating about his influence although I moved to another country to give an end to his stalking and hoovering intents for almost 2 years ago! Tu inteligencia me inspira⚘️
I giggle when I hear you say "1 more question" and off you go for another several minutes lolol
I remember when I lived in Manchester i told someone I was struggling with having so much choice...she cudnt understand what I meant. Feel validated
I cam here from David Ick! You are so intelligent and insightful!
Oh no I have a case book study narcs....he is exactly what you are saying.! I am running for the hills.
I have trouble sleeping every single night... terrible insomnia. You all are not all alone! Nightmares, wake up drenched in sweat. I have 3 sets of sheets just for this reason. THEY TRULY RUIN US.
Any colour of sneakers 😂😂😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉 brilliant.
I was wondering why this guy is in my head because I am not "vulnerable" or have a history of being abused (more than the ordininary abuse every human encounters), and I am most of the time in control of my emotions. Now I get it. The whole episode was a great opportunity for me to deeply see into someones mind who I wouldnt ordinarily have access to, and interact with, and when I first encountered him, I couldn't get a read on him. Red flag!!! Thank you Richard 🎉
For real: the freedom of giving up your freedom by joining the military. A coin toss, whether the leadership of your command sucks or not, but if it does suck you can complain all you want, and for the most part it builds comradery against your own CO (with the exception of the suck ups ofc). A coin toss, whether your duty station sucks, but if it does suck you can complain all you want, and you still have your base/military community to fall back on, even when you live off base. And you know in a couple years, you move on or your CO moves on. Fresh start. So much freedom in that.
Trouble processing reality- great way to frame it.
1:19:52 Thank you.
This is is pure gold
Thankyou. ❤
I had a sociopathic covert vulnerable narc, I had met him in my late teens & he looked me up on fb not long after I started. So my man of 18+yrs & bf for life died, I was on a long bender then got with the narc & OmG I didn't know my ass from my elbow when covid hit & I got to leave after googling his behaviours... I'm still trauma bonded to him to this day, hence why I'm here
Thank you!Thank you!No contact and time are healing.
My oldest sister (56) has had standard NPD all her life, she checks every box on the list. She has a narcotic dependency on any kind of drama and talking behind people's back. It's the only thing she lives for and she withers away like a plant without water if she doesn't get her dose. I've only talked to her a handful of times the last 20 years and not at all the last 10 years. Thinking last fall age should have made it possible to at least have a single conversation with her while she visited our father with her 14 year old son who is engulfed in her traps and maniacal insanities to the degree he has cut out his father, who is the sane one, I walked head on into a trap designed to make me feel like the stupid, gullible, egotistic 5 year old little brother again. Completely out of the blue. From one second to the next. This is just pure, pure sickness I thought and I left. I then proceeded to walk around in a circle in my livingroom for 14 days afterwards yelling out loud at her, not being present obviously, and myself. It can't be stressed enough: Never ever have any contact whatsoever with someone with NPD. After 14 days, I returned to what was my previous belief, without a care in the world: She is a confused, stupendeously underdeveloped child. She never moved past age 12. I get an icky feeling calling her "she", affirming she's human. I don't have a self-preserving need to think of her as a non-human/broken robot, it's a scientific observation. And another scientific observation is that she will be the same until she dies, most likely from Alzheimers like our mom. The signs are already there. I wonder if NPD people have a much higher chance of getting Alzheimers. It would be logical, since they have an almost sexual drive towards burning all bridges.
Oof she sounds nasty, and im sorry you had to be given her as your sister. Her poor son hey. Stay in your lane, your boundaries keep you safe ❤
Alzeimers is now considered a type 3 diabetes due to its correlation with blood glucose issues. I also have a narc Mum (69) and ahe is showing early dementia signs. She eats a high carb diet but on the other hand, my theory is if they spend their whole life lying to themselves and avoiding self development and growth of ANY kind then your brain is going to cognitively decline cos it hasnt been used 😂
@@woboznz I agree. Also on the type 3 diabetes, I'm low/zero carb.
Did this pattern start with your parents?
It's not her, it's the demons who possess her. She is trapped in there and that obssession you get when you've been around her is actually something they do to you coz they've been watching you all your life.
You bite... and you bite well, and they will continue this crap until you rise above it all and it doesn't work on you anymore. That is the only time it will stop , but her torment will not...
My Narc grandma got Alzheimer's. I've been hearing the theory that they all get it and now I can't unsee it. Narcs lose their fragile little minds after abusing everyone else for decades. That's karma imo
Brilliant 👏
Yip everything you said there, my RA is way worse, panic attacks, loss of confidence, paranoia, interrupted sleep, feeling sick, gut problems, trust issues. I'm finding it hard to deal with everything. Just absolutely smh in annoyance.
2:55 yes!!!
Lisbon girl here! Portugal definitely has the Best food in the world
I lived in Czech rep. in 80's, it was a mess. Hypocrisy, bribery, theft, deception, childishness in all levels of society. It's a bit better now.
I have friends whose family moved to Florida in the 80s. What they called it was “escape”.
Also from South Africa, if I remember correctly. 👍💜
Introjection is a psychological process where a person unconsciously adopts the thoughts, values, or personality traits of another person or object. It can occur as a normal part of development, such as when a child takes on their parents' values, or as a defense mechanism in anxiety-provoking situations
Lmao omg, question 🤣
Im binging a bit today on your content and the hilarious lil blurps and nonverbal communication have got me a couple times today!!! 😅
Question, tell me what you think about me, I buy my own diamonds and buy my rings bahahah.
Great Job, Richard! Thank you!
Absolutely fantastic helpful gidence if you know you have a problem. Well done boy!You supported my healing last 2 years.
Thank you Richard, love listening to you. It's warm open and understandable. Well,... except the Spanish!😅
Can you recommend a therapist? Or where to look for one?
Thanks 😊
Parents are harder to recover from becoz their programming is laid down younger and so therefore the wiring in the brain is deeper - the rewiring must be done on a higher level, like the superconscious level.
My father controlled my life with food, which is a most basic basic basic level of control and i found that every narcissist that came along afterwards gladly took over those reigns becoz they are powerful indeed.
When i took them back and started to listen to my body regarding food and eating how i finally wanted, their rage was palpable becoz they knew what they were losing... I had no idea but they did, obviously.
Im on a awaiting list for more MORE therapy here in Canada 🇨🇦 in the meantime I watch you & Sam V etc …
So much of what you talked about resonated, so funny when you said , I could eat berries today, but I'll eat them tomorrow, how we often focus / feel comfortable in the negative / onslaught of potential danger, this was always my pet hate with others, how times change ! Years ago ,( before I did my counselling degree) I trained / re programmed myself ( basically did CBT on myself), and positive thoughts and experiences were made, and then low n behold , it was wasted on people who didn't get it, never mind , it is what it is. A lady on this live mentioned the male narcissist and bisexuality, yes, very interesting lead. Shout out to Primal Way , ha ha ! Capitalisim ? Makes me think of Ren's money game, part three, what a music video ! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself Richard. Keep well all.
Thanks for the video ❤ very informative
Wow. The saber tooth tiger vs leisurely berry picking decision analogy was pretty eye-opening! That contrast about negative vs positive message adaptations will be staying with me for a while. This was deep.
The sexuality of the narcissist I’ve been with is that it’s not so much the sex of the person but they don’t seem to care who they sleep with in a sense it’s more to do with the attention they are getting. That’s what i experienced, to be honest I’ve even questioned my sexually jt I know mine comes from past abuse and I’ve struggled with it .
Good stuff Grain-on
I think another evolutionary aspect of why people go along with the bully, is because in a zero-sum world where different groups were competing for resources, being aligned with the biggest bully was safer than being aligned with a leader who would get dominated and lose.
It seems a very basic survival mechanism but submitting to sociopathic megabullies was in some ways the most smart thing to do. As we’ve evolved it’s become clearer that this is NOT actually the smartest move, but it’s taking humanity a while to figure it out.
Nah it's just because our world is too corrupt and every little thing is made to be so difficult all the time when it doesn't need to be, nothing has to be so hard. When their creature comforts are taken away and they never got the support they needed while always shutting them down, invalidating them, never listening to them on purpose, and making them feel absolutely powerless in them it does things to you and your self worth from day 1.
On top of it not teaching them the skills to function in the world we live in it creates serious issues and as if it wasn't bad enough it's like omg! what?! how is this to anyone's or my benefit? and you don't know what to do about it because you can't because our world actively works against people so we can't do anything about it usually.
Having all these things are fundamental but our world would rather not give it to us in the name of power and profit while they make you think you're asking too much and being ungrateful and ridiculous, no we're not asking for too much at all it should be an absolute fundamental right. When things are too hard and depriving that causes so much conflict especially internal and nothing makes sense to how us humans function and what we really need.
They'll pull you in again and again convincing you it all really does make sense and you're alienated for it if you don't agree because believing it you'd be confident with absolute certainty you're doing things right, living right, and maybe even doing the right things morally, and they can get you to do or perceive anything while you do. If it all made sense then why are we being used, taken advance of, extorted, and abused on a daily basis? the internal conflict we feel about all that and all the confusing messages given to us is just insane and not how we really want to exist.
@1:03:00 you nailed it. The world is run by Satan indeed.
Turn to christ
I agree we don't want to make all the choices all the time i often think about this and honestly we can't do it all there's so much needed to coordinate things and our world, it's impossible to do it all by ourselves. Who knows why so much pressure is put on us to do so i guess it goes with how unrealistic our world has been.
My ideal environment is like in stargate sg1 or star trek tng and voyager lol they want to build real and lasting relationships with their crew not trauma bonded relationships and feel strongly about never jeopardizing that trust they aren't cowards by any means. it's the only sort of people i've ever found i can listen to someone that really wants things to mean something and innocent enough it's not their nature to want to hurt others, i would follow them anywhere. I guess because they make such great, fair, highly cooperative leaders who would do anything for their world and the people on it🙂if i were in a role where i did things for a real just cause and not one i should blindly believe is a just cause i would gladly be a part of it. There can still be chaos it just doesn't always have to be very toxic chaos all the time 24/7 and it would be boring without some chaos.
it's the kind of environment that makes an ideal culture too because there's a balance in all things. You break it you fix it and take responsibility no exceptions, everyone gets the same, they get all the support and resources they need exactly when it's needed, and it's where the real problem solving and action really is where things get discovered and really solved. Everyone is treated with utmost fairness and when they aren't you find a way to resolve it, not stand up for the bully while alienating the person who was really wronged like our world does.
Its called the Izanami. I'm not in your head, you are. This is your battle and there's many different correct ways to do something but only one true way. Goodluck.
Richard any comment on Eleanor Roosevelt comment “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent “
quality content
Excellent presentation again. Thank you 🙏
Hi Richard.
My mom always asks to borrow things .. let’s say kitchen items and then she keeps them.. she says weird things to me when I hug her.. she said .. I’m so glad we have a loving relationship.. woah! She’s her family scapegoat and I in turn am mine and is that projecting or is it the dominance she requires? It’s like looking at a foreign roadmap and not knowing what direction is..
The real problem is after the lovebomb you live inside THEIR head. You don’t have the free agency you once had. Like Norman Bates living inside that Victorian mansion on the hill, living inside his mother’s mind.
Are borderline s narcissists
I have a Boyfriend who is borderline and he is so self centred but seems to be able to love
My nex still insists that I'm the narcissist. Yet I have been studying it nearly every day for the last 1.5 years, literally hundreds to a thousand hours. Every video confirms that she is. Every scenario matches her. Every criteria fits. And I've also confirmed that I am not, but am a codependent with a fair amount of CPTSD that my therapist says was revitalized by my nex.
And still, with every new video I watch, every new story I read, every crappy comment she makes, I still question myself and re-evaluate if I am indeed a narcissist. Which my therapist then says is re-traumatizing myself. It's super fun.
what about placebo, Richard? the narcissists are the prove to me, their hunger for your mental energy/attention
magical thinking is when one just dreams and does nothing....mental work, meditations is not a magic tool, it is for directing yourself it is working on mental state that helps to choose correct actions
50:34 One I recognized the introject.. it was a lightbulb going off. Now the battle begins to exercise that demon who whispers poison in my mind like Grima Wormtongue.
God 🙏 i love you man, fucking hilarious shit that you come up with, so jelly 😂🤣😁❤️
The passage regarding the natural inclination in most people to want to be led was particularly interesting. Especially when Richard comes to the conclusion that human beings are ultimately not adapted to the modernity that they have created. The society of abundance is an anomaly because it promises the unlimited. But nothing is more distressing, even terrifying, than such a notion for finite beings. Even the most fervent advocate of total freedom ends up delimiting this "totality", often through ridiculous oratorical contortions (for example in France during the student revolts of 1968, one of the slogans was: "It is forbidden to forbid", which is the pinnacle of the paradoxical injunction). There is something biologically incompatible - and Richard very rightly points out this - between the claim of unlimited existential choice and the real capacity of the human being to fully use such potential (real or supposed). As was said in the video, fully assuming the consequences of a choice, with all the collateral impacts that this implies, is often too heavy to bear. The feeling of guilt that would result from failure would be overwhelming. Reason why we need to live in society: to dilute personal responsibility in the social body. Because it is simply unbearable to take on everything, the losses being almost always greater than the gains. And as Richard very well reminded us, the human brain is much more sensitive to failure than to accomplishment. And if by chance a narcissist goes through this to guarantee this role, due to a completely distorted vision of himself and others, a large part of the population will not ask for anything better. When you think about it, Napoleon's rise after the French Revolution is just that.
If, when one makes it through this journey there's no one left to lead you, even you won't quite believe you.
Thank you, God bless.
3 narcs made u an expert. I think 1 is enough for me in this lifetime. Never again
yes new age and narcissism are a match made somewhere not good...
My NPD stopped every form of intimacy after appx 4 mos!!! I t devastated me in every way. He said it was due to past trauma but we never ended up resuming the relationship sexual etc. It's 8 yrd..he's on hard drugs fentanyl..crack...here I am isolated in every way afraid to move or unae to think on my ow ...fi ancially crippled. A ice of hell with rats bug infestations from him etc.iving at substance level inside a Milian dollar house fallen apsrt...
R, whoah, the father examples definitely run deep and are not dealt with yet......
I feel dark now after him.
Your killing me😅😅😅
I love you Richie 💞 Thank you much
There is a price to pay when you allow someone to direct your life.
As long as it is the person's choice to be in that type of relationship...
church / religion & schools teach us to passively sit spellbound & speechless while charismatic & larger-than-life teachers & preachers dominate & lord it over us, so some of us turn into dominant charismatic (sadistic) narcissists while others become passive observers/ victims, at least that’s my experience; narcissistic churches & snobbish grammar schooling could have made me a leader / sociopath or a masochistic empath simp & I became the latter, speaking of grammar school, one guy who was already a teenage narcissist became a stripper & made a fortune teasing / breadcrumbing drunken gays & another ex-grammar school boy became a S&M Master while another became a Trans, between the 4 of us we prove the nurture / environment creates personalities theory
I'm having trouble understanding the difference between a narcissist and a codependent. The guy I was with for eleven years didn't have any problem telling me about his dysfunctional childhood, and seemed to sincerely admit to having a breakdown when I made him leave. Would a narcissist do that? If so, would he be considered a vulnerable narcissist?
After 5 years of battling closure, I am happy and content yet HE is constantly in my head , WHY?
Watch Sam vankin removing the interject/ parasite from your mind
@@Paris-pi9pv who is sam ?
My narcissistic parents appropriated and weaponized self-help and spiritual phrases. Ironically, their BS sparked my curiosity. I was able to find the goodfaith versions which have been integral to my recovery of self.
Missed you, Richard 😂❤
Your so adorable Rich