What you view as staring, is for many, maybe most Europeans, simply not avoiding looking. In my experience, this is common throughout northern and western Europe. Eye contact is seen as being polite and an indication of connection and interest. Constantly looking away or askance is viewed as rather sly, untrustworthy, or even weak. "Look me in the eyes and say that", is a phrase we use in English to underline honesty and strength. Isn't this phrase used in the US?
At first, I was very confused when I heard Americans claim that Germans stare at people. Not much more than anybody else, I thought. But now it seems to me we're actually dealing with two entirely different definitions of the word 'stare'. What people call 'the German stare', I as a German would categorize as just looking at people. For example, when I walk past a bus station and people are standing there or when I walk across a marketplace, I instinctively know people will look (or stare) at me. I'm not bothered by it in the least. It's a part of cultural normalcy, I guess.
@@hansmeiser32 I would say that it is curiosity. Yes some use it in negative way. But most of the time people want to know you. The smaller the city the longer the stare, because they don't see new faces often.
As a German living in a small village, I stare at people because I expect the other person to look at me too, so I can greet them in a friendly way. Either when walking or when someone passes by my garden. If the other person ignores me and doesn't look at me, I find that rude somehow.
Ich bin mal nach Wien gefahren, mit dem Rennrad, durch Bayern, von Vorarlberg aus (West-Österreich).In einem Bayrischen Dorf habe ich einen längeren Rast gemacht, in einem Biergarten, um zu Essen und Energie zu tanken für meine lange Reise. Ein älterer Herr saß am Stammtisch etwa 10 Meter von mir entfernt, mit kariertem Hemd, Hut mit Gamsbart... Er starrte mich minutenlang an. Es war mir etwas unangenehm, aber ich dachte nur: Dieser alte Bauer hat noch nie einen komplett verschwitzten Radfahrer in Bunter Sportkleidung gesehen ! ...somit war die Geschichte für mich erledigt... Schöne Grüße aus Vorarlberg, Österreich
@@dachecker79 Wow, wie lange hast du dafür gebraucht ? Wieviele Kilometer waren das ? Ich bin mal wegen einer Wette an einem Tag von Weingarten (bei Ravensburg) nach Karlsruhe gefahren, ca. 245 km in 11 Stunden. Bin damals zur Vorbereitung alles mögliche in Vorarlberg (Bödele, Fontanella, Damüls, Bregenzer Wald) abgefahren.
@@MichaelBurggraf-gm8vlSehr schön ! Du kennst Vorarlberg ! Die Reise nach Wien mit dem Rennrad habe ich ende Juli 2018 gemacht (täglich bei 30°-34°C), 788 Km in 7 Tagen Fahrzeit, im durchschnitt 112 Km am Tag. Ich hatte es nicht eilig, schließlich war es mein "Sport-Urlaub". Bis Wien bin ich aber nach 9 Tagen angekommen, da ich in Passau 2 Ruhetage eingelegt habe. Zur Erholung und weil es so eine wunderschöne Stadt ist ! Meine längste 1 Tages fahrt war die "Bodensee-Rundfahrt" (mit Startnummer) 220 Km in etwa 11 Stunden bei Regenwetter. Deine 245 Km in 11h sind für mich sehr beeindruckend ! Ich bin ein Schwergewicht (103kg) und Jahrgang 1979, daher nennen mich meine Rennradkumpel "liebevoll" "Kugelblitz" oder "Asphaltbomber" ...hahaha, die Arschlöcher. Viele meiner fahrten habe ich auf YT dokumentiert...schau mal vorbei ! Schöne Grüße und Kette rechts ! Channel Link: th-cam.com/video/4mewzbJ1di8/w-d-xo.html
Im not staring. I look. And sometimes you catch the eye of a stranger and you give a little smile. You never know, a smile from a total strange person could make someones day For me looking means interest and openness
There may be a misinterpretation of "staring" sometimes by visitors. Looking someone in the eyes in passing does not have to be invasive if done with a smile and a sense of general openness. In doing so one communicates having nothing to hide and being approachable. In more closed communities that is especially important. In villages, for instance, it's very normal to just greet a person in passing, even complete strangers. There are no motives other than interest, friendliness and a sense of community. The best way to deal with "staring" or prolonged looking is to smile and greet the person, acknowledging the interest. Or ignore it. It's almost never meant in a negative way.
Noteworthy is also, that the so called "German Stare" is also a form of communication. Example: A few years ago, a colleague and I wanted to inspect one of our offices in the north, around 2 hours away from our headquarter. But there were some uncertainties, that could easily cancel our visit. The day before our planed inspection I had a meeting. When I left the room, my colleague came down the hallway. I looked him in the eyes. He shaked his head. I shrugged my shoulders. That was the whole conversation.
In Germany, looking people in the eyes is not staring in the sense of threatening. It means you have nothing to hide and you are open for communication. In the old days, they taught that the schoolchildren and the military recruits. Staring as a threat is a totally different matter and if somebody looks weird or behaves unnormal he wants to raise attention and can hardly complain when it works (unless its unintentional of course).
i think the difference is just the socially accepted length of a look. we usually don't consider it staring in germany, we're just looking around. if someone looks or acts different then people will look a bit longer because it's more interesting and then they'll just continue with their day i think a lot of the people in the video are talking about what a german would consider staring not what an american would consider staring. if you asked me if i stare at people i'd say rarely but if you asked an american how much i stare at people they would probably say i do it a lot lmao
Why? We usually don´t. It is just socially acceped, to look a few seconds longer and it doesn´t mean anything, unless your body language clearly says, that it does. Only then it becomes staring. Otherwise it is just healthy interest in the world around you. We rather don´t engage in smalltalk, looking at each other is also a part of normal social interaction, which might partially replace that. I think, the responses are misleading. Everybody is accidently crossing a line some time and that is, what most of the interviewed people are describing, when they are asked about it. The real point however, is the different position of that line.
If I tell my child „guck da nicht so hin!“ „Don’t stare at sth./so.!“ that’s implying that I think there is an issue with that person. Children can watch whatever they are interested in and learn and judge for themselves. And because people know that’s just what kids do, nobody takes offense.
i guess us germans dont even realize that we stare at people, because its normal to us🤔 I also experienced, that if you smile most people will smile back and go along with the good vibe
Hi from Germany The staring Thing: I was taught in school to always be attentive and to observe and analyze. That's why I stare at people who catch my eye from time to time. But only briefly. I look at their face, skin color, eye color, nose shape, hairstyle, height and stature, and the clothes they wear. Then I try to imagine to which social class they belong - be clear - not in a bad way. It's just my habit. Also to analyze whether danger threatens (comes just also from nature), what does the counterpart, is there danger or is he/she perhaps looking for help in an emergency situation (perhaps he/she is forced) etc. There are many reasons that can be cited, each has different reasons. This is my opinion while staring
People could stare because they like what they see. 🤩 In the Netherlands people look at each other - especially in small cities - to check if they see someone they know, like friends or family.
I look at houses, trees, cars and even people when I have nothing to do, that's completely neutral. If I'm interested in something, I might look at it for a second longer. Very rarely do I see something and start thinking about it, so I forget to look away 😅
I also love to acknowledge beautiful people by shortly giving them a friendly look. And sometimes I receive this as well. This gives fun and makes me proud. Cafés outside in the Summer time are made for this, checking out and you know when passing by or placing yourself with a coffee to relax and check the people. Have that in italy and it's even better 😅! However, I ignore elderly people being bored hanging out the window and staring at everybody passing by.
In lots of European cities, where you live close to each other, it is normal to care for the people around you and to check if a situation looks safe. That can be seen as staring, but feels to me like just looking and watching your surroundings. With more trains, trams, busses, metros and bikes, people are more connected than in other places.
I really like your videos because i can see that you are actually interested in Germany and you dont just pick videos that are good clickbait. Keep it up and greetings from Germany👋
This can have soooo many reasons, but to break it down really bluntly: Germans are more socially interested in other people. On the other hand it strikes me, how Americans Do NOT want to be looked at, but all want to be actors or TH-camrs ...
As a German I can say that at least in the Part where I live we're not as outgoing and open like Americans, so often the Reason why we are starring maybe a bit to long is because we're interested in the other Person, the Look, the behavior etc. But we're maybe don't have enough courage or are to shy to say something :D
Hey J !! I'm German and I think the translation is not totally accurate ''to stare''/Ger: ''starren'' Perhaps its like ''to watch'', ''to goggle'' or ''look'' :D ... But in my region (Palatinate), we say ''Glotzen'' oder ''Gugge''.. Its like watching TV. In Ger: ''TV glotzen'' Here (Pfalz) we have a saying * Hugge un Gugge* ... ''Sit and watch'' .. That means: to chill/sit outside drink a Wine in the city, chat and look at people ( decent xD Haha) Nice reaction
as someone who was born and raised in Berlin.. so many fellow germans were saying things like "ah its propably just confirmation bias that you feel that people look at you more when you have your hair put up or a pimple" no, its definitely true that if I have anything eye catching about me, people start starring but if I have my usual look I honestly don't have that problem at all
context: I am very white and have good skin, so if I do get a pimple its bright red and very obvious and many people told me that I look much better with my hair in a pony tail or something similar, because I have a "nice head shape" I can say with certainty taht people stare as soon as something catches their eye, postive or negative
also now that I think about it: when I had a Turkish boyfriend so many germans were starring and only a handful of immigrants, but when I had a German boyfriend all the (Young!) immigrants were starring and they were looking even more judgemental than the senior citizen germans 😭
It very much depends on what you call 'staring'. As a Czech (our culture is fairly similar to Germans, we are neighbouring countries, after all), I would describe staring as looking at someone intensely, almost like studying them, for an extended period of time. However, it could be completely normal to 'stare' at someone in the street you find interesting, especially if you do it with a genuine smile on your face. From what I've heard, Americans generally assume hostility or uneasiness when being stared at, but it very much depends on the context. Of course, I also wouldn't feel too great if I saw the person sitting opposite to me on the bus staring me down for more than a few seconds, then I would start overthinking if I have a stain on my clothes or what are their intentions, but generally, it's nothing to worry about. Usually the smaller the town/village, the friendlier and more outgoing the people are. Also, it depends on the place, but when you are a foreigner, you are pretty much guaranteed to get stared at since people can tell you aren't local, so they will stare at you. Some may do it because they don't know what to expect from a person whose words they can't understand, some do it because they do understand and rarely get the chance to meet a native speaker in person. The reasons vary, but if you are a foreigner, you are, by default, standing out more.
It's a very basic way of communication and I think it's human nature to watch the people around you. From my experience US-Americans often appear to be outgoing and large as life, but later turn out to be a bit uptight and insecure outside their natural habitat😉. I sometimes eye up people when I sense something bad is about to happen in order to jump to help, e.g. an elderly showing signs of insecure walking or a child balancing along the pavement close to the traffic or someone being about to knock over their glass with a newspaper. Sometimes I like a person's style or beauty and enjoy it by peeping a little....
I remember once staring at a woman sitting in front of me in the tram. She had the biggest, most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, I kept looking at her. At some point, I realised that she might get insecure, wondering if there's something wrong with her so when I left the tram, I told her in all honesty "sorry for staring at you but you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, have a nice day" and by the look on her face when she thanked me I could tell that I made her day and that made me happy. Besides the topic of staring, some people randomly would share their critics even with strangers and without being asked, claiming it as honesty. Remember that there's also a positive side of honesty and if you're really an hones person not only trying to justify rudeness, also honestly tell people when something positive stands out and make someone happier rather than trying to make other people smaller. Have a great day everyone!
German here. I think it's just another one of those cultural/social differences that make the world such a wonderfully interesting and colorful place. Sure, there is also rude staring in Germany. (I don't think I do that and I hope I'm not perceived as rude) but what is considered rude obviously follows different "rules" in Germany than in the USA. I naturally assume that people from other parts of the world also look to see who is around them. The differences may concern e.g. the duration and where you look in different situations (in the eyes, to the side, straight, up or down for example). And this differs also between Germans and even between families or between members of one family because it also depends on if you are extroverted or introverted, male or female, shy or not and everything in between or outside. I can imagine many misunderstandings arising from such cultural/social differences. In my experience, most of them are rather nice and funny and perhaps a good opportunity to start a friendly conversation. In extremely rare cases, however, it can also lead to more aggressive reactions. To describe it from my perspective: For me, it's completely normal to seek eye contact. This is considered polite here, especially when greeting, toasting, in conversations, when addressing people directly, to make yourself known, etc. Irritation sometimes arises when the other person avoids my gaze. It also feels completely normal for me not to control where I look when I let my mind wander - I don't need to look on the floor or the ceiling on the streetcar or the bus, for example. If I guess that the other person feels stared from me, I may seek extra eye contact to give them a friendly nod and make the situation less embarrassing for them and me. If I myself have the feeling that someone is staring at me, I also try to make eye contact and maybe nod briefly, for example. (Maybe the other person is bothered by something about me and wants to draw my attention to it - an open fly, for example - but it would be impolite without a greeting. And, as I said, for me eye contact is part of a greeting.)
I have to admit, I’ve never noticed them staring either. I’m Irish and have lived in Other European countries and in New York too. In Spain, I noticed people staring a bit but I usually smile and start up a conversation which is always friendly. I do think that Americans are very open and friendly and polite. Americans I think smile a lot and that might be why people were looking at you. I can see the French particularly thinking that smiling to yourself as being weird. In Ireland, if you stare, you’ ll end up becoming friends and probably part of the family as the Irish love everyone to be part of lives. We want the world to love us and love the world back.
I'm in my sixties and , while I don't dress up all the time, I do put an effort in to look reasonably smart. I've visited Germany on numerous occasions but only briefly each time. I didn't find staring to be an issue there, but I did get a few looks of what I took as approval on a few occasions. I also spent two weeks in the US a few years back and I found Americans to be quite paranoid the way they avoided eye contact. On the few occasions I noticed someone looking at me it always felt intimidating. The people who looked at me appeared to be quite dangerous. I was glad to get out of there.
"I also spent two weeks in the US a few years back and I found Americans to be quite paranoid the way they avoided eye contact." I would say here in Germany avoiding eye contact is seen as rude - at least I deem it rude. I would guess this is because you can see a person's intention in their eyes and if they avoid eye contact they have something to hide.
I'v got one leg and kids are the best, they just stare and stare sometimes vocalising what they see much to the horror of the accompanying parent! Now after 30 years I rarely notice it and if I do it doesn't bother me at all.
In German we have this phrase "Kindermund tut Wahrheit kund". Tried to find a similar English phrase and found "out of the mouths of babes": - It highlights the unfiltered honesty that often comes from children. - It conveys the notion that wisdom isn't exclusive to adults or the learned. - The phrase usually carries a tone of surprise and admiration.
Standing in a trainstation, waiting for your train, you better be constantly aware who is besides you and especially who is behind you, for safety reasons ...
I think the whole video is subject to a big misunderstanding right from the start. When the Germans are asked in the video: Have you ever stared at someone? Then they understand something completely different! While Americans perceive the everyday act of "looking around and not specifically avoiding eye contact" as staring, the Germans in the video think about whether they have looked at someone from top to bottom and bottom to top for a very, very long time and literally observed them have what that person does. This is how I would define staring as a German. And that's why it's not surprising that so many say they avoid it or don't want to do it. However, this does not mean the everyday intense eye contact that is completely normal for us. But I understand that paying attention and then reading something into these meaningless looks fuels your own insecurities.
Look, sometimes on public transport I realize that I was staring at someone while in reality my brain was in a completely different dimension, I don't know, I was just trying to remember if I had turned off the oven at home before going out. But often when it happens a particular psychological situation arises for which lowering one's eyes is, in my preconceptions, interpreted as a symptom of guilt therefore, to demonstrate that I am not guilty of anything, at most I smile or observe someone else but not immediately. Make sense? I forgot, I'm Italian.
You really found the right response to staring: staring back with a friendly smile and maybe a nod. Above all it's a sign of self-confidence but usually in a friendly sense. It's also an acceptable way of getting an impression of others, about their character, about their mood, if they're ready for a conversation/small talk or if they're too busy. Being interested and a bit curious in other people isn't a bad thing in general. Of course staring at someone due to a sign of illness or due to a disability isn't ok. Don't stare at a person to make her or him feel uncomfortable - I don't think that's acceptable, at least impolite. And I think it's not that uncommon in other European countries as well, maybe not as intense as in Germany. Walking past people sitting outside of a cafe in France or Italy of course some people will stare at you.
The only time I really felt like people were staring was when I was walking through NYC with my girlfriend. And that only happened in a certain corner when we left Central Park and probably behaved quite silly and conspicuously. I can't agree with that for Germany, but that may also be because I didn't notice any staring when I was strolling the streets there . But as it was mentioned in the video already, everyone looks at someone sometimes, certainly more than once a day. But that's mostly not staring according to my personal definition of staring at people.
The 'staring' not only affects people but also objects (cars, front gardens). For example, if you look long enough at a car next to you at the traffic lights, you can produce similar reactions
A good method to react is simply stare back (if the other person doesn't look aggressive) - because a lot of people don't even realize they're staring. If you stare back they are embarrassed and look the other way.
People are just interesting. :3 Being stared at or catching myself staring, I just give a brief smile and often it is returned. :) Also, it is awkward to forcefully not look at someone passing you or the likes. xD
It's not just Germans. I am African and my boyfriend is German. We went to a Dutch city called Venlo. The Dutch stare a lot even more than the Germans. Since I live in Germany, I have gotten used to their stares because I realized that at the end of it all, it is harmless and just out of curiosity. But the Dutch stares were very intense😅
If I'm out and about (rarely and usually in and around a hospital, with my carer - who is ny daughter - due to my necessary health appointments) and I see anyone staring at me (as I'm in a wheelchair) I just stare back. If they feel awkward due vto them realising they'd been staring at me, they'll usually look away after I've stared back at them... If they instead continue to stare at ne, I'll continue to stare back - if I'm stationary, of course. If someone stares at me as I'm moving oast them, ir they're moving oast me, I take no notice. Whatever their reason is for staring at ne, is of no consequence if we are not sratiobary so have no reason or opportunity to interact. I haven't, to be fair, noticed anyone staring - in the sense that you are referring to...eg any prolonged staring, so the whole thing is moot. I havent been abroad since I was 13, (on a school trip to Rome) so never having been to Germany, I've no experience of this behaviour! Any prolonged staring whikst stationary can be resolved by staring back for a shirt while then smiling to break any apparent tension, and whatever the reason is for the staring is probably just showing an interest or a need to ask a question (why the wheelchair, in my case, maybe ?!) But, definitely not worrying or scary etc!!
If I'm in public and see a person in a wheelchair (alone) moving around I might pay a little more attention to this person because Europe is pedestrian friendly but not necessarily wheelchair friendly (curbs too high etc.) and they might need help. Same for old people with rolling walkers (I hope that's the correct English term).
Yes, there are people who stare at other people because of their race and skin color, but the overwhelming majority do so because of their charisma or because they look special or because of their clothing, etc. Very few people do this to provoke. I think people misinterpret being stared at. When I stare at someone, and it's quite often, it's for the reasons mentioned.
"Honestly i did not expect these answers at all." Me as a german can proudly say ... Hä? xd What other answer would there be to stare at someone other than thinking they have something interesting or scary or odd to them? Like i often see people who just have a more unique look than somebody else and even if it's maybe a bigger nose, bigger lips, smaller eyes, or anything at all i just look at them for like 3 seconds and look away again just because i notice it and think "Hm" and look away again and by god with no bad means at all like obviously i don't think anybody looks weird or ugly or anything but i don't know ... just a way of percieving each other i guess
My response to people staring at me for a long time is stare back but in a overperformed way like making a hilarious angry face, or stick the tip out of my mouth and make a dead face. All kinds of funny faces work very well I think
Also, nicht nur im kleinen bayerischen Dorf (weit weg von Berlin), sondern auch in der (kleinen) Hauptstadt von Brandenburg, Potsdam, direkt neben Berlin wird angestarrt.😂😂😂
It is very bad for those with social anxiety as you constantly feel like you somehow don't fit in and are being judged, this is made worse by people filming with their phones, you can feel like some sort of unpaid attraction rather than just being left to live your life in modest peace. It is polite and proper to maintain eye contact when having a conversation with someone but just being endlessly observed by strangers is not. What seems harmless (or even positive) to some can reinforce a terrible complex and elicit fear in others.
Thers is also a difference between aggressive staring and interested staring. I would also say interested staring falls into multiple categories like interested as your bf/gf, fashion the person is wearing.... Also, I grew up in a small village and you wete exspect to make eye contact and not just when uou are right in front of them and greet ppl
Yes, I do occasionally stare at other people, but it’s to 50% unintentionally and out of curiosity. I just like meeting new people. So my brain probably tries to get a hint on how to best approach a total stranger… The other 50% is me not staring AT people, looking THROUGH people (AKA zoning out)… 😆
Some Americans who visit Germany may feel uncomfortable or even offended by the way Germans look at them. They may think that they are being stared at, judged, or challenged. However, this is usually a cultural misunderstanding, not a personal attack. Here are some possible reasons why Germans stare more than Americans: - Germans have a different concept of personal space and eye contact. They tend to stand closer and look longer than Americans, who value more distance and privacy. This does not mean that Germans are rude or intrusive, but rather that they are curious and attentive. - Germans are more direct and honest than Americans, who often use euphemisms and small talk to avoid confrontation or awkwardness. Germans may stare at someone to show interest, to give feedback, or to express disagreement. They expect the other person to do the same, and not to look away or smile politely. - Germans are less influenced by media and advertising than Americans, who are constantly exposed to images of celebrities, models, and influencers. Germans may stare at someone who looks different, unusual, or attractive, not because they are judging them, but because they are fascinated by them. They may also stare at someone who wears flashy or inappropriate clothing, not because they are mocking them, but because they are puzzled by them.
There is a bavarian or maybe german response to one staring: "Hab ich ein Schnitzel im Gesicht oder warum schaust du so bloed?" / "Have I got a Schnitzel in my face or why are you looking so dumb?" - :D
A friend of mine, an engineer from Africa, worked in China for two years. The Chinese people not only stared at him with mouth open, they tried to touch his skin and his hair. So I think Germany is pretty decent with "only" staring. LOL. BTW I learned as a German kid: Do not stare at people, it is unfriendly.
this reminds me of a video i saw, where someone talked about assuming things. he said, that he assumes, people think bad about him, whenever they stare at him, that they judge him. but then he realised, that he is the one judging them by assuming that they have bad thoughts about him, by assuming they are bad people. in reality, they just stare. thats it. you dont know why unless you ask them and most of the time they will be like "what? i dont know, i just looked around" and another thought for you...if you see them staring, it means, you are staring at them too xD
Thanks for your channel! I am German. I probably do stare. I am not aware of it. For me, it is "normal". But then, as it is normal, I do not perceive nor mean it as staring. So: The time period it TAKES for you to perceive my looking as staring is much shorter than what I would consider staring, if you get my meaning. I like to look people in the eye to check out if they are friendly, to see a bit of that person and how they react to me. It is a way of making contact. Sometimes it might lead to a nice conversation. But if I guess correctly, the time you check someone out is MUCH shorter, and you might consider anything beyond this short moment "staring" while for me, I am still in the "checking out" phase, culturally. So: It is NOT staring for the typical German, but just looking, but it seems for you it already is uncomfortable. For me, to consider something as staring, it has to go on for a really good amount of time. like, I hardly realize it if it is less than ten seconds or so.
However, I (german) only "observe" people because they often possess something interesting. My observations are always positive and never with the intention of criticizing anyone. When people staring at me, I take it as a compliment. No trubble 🙂
Its not usual for people to stare in the UK - a protracted stare is likely to trigger an aggressive response in some cases because its seen as a possible threat. Not a good idea...
I think, what you can get from this video, and also what would be answer, is, don't expect a bad intention behind it. Mostly we're just interested in cool interesting people. And americans probably would have a small talk in this situation, but this is much more considered as "invading my personal space" here as the thing with looking at people. You get probably much faster an agressive reply from a german for that. 😉 So, just stay cool and take it with a smile 😀 Greetings from Berlin 😎
As a german, I wouldn't call that staring, i call that just looking at someone. Either unconciously like on a train or bus, what else is there to do when sitting around....what do you expect people to do, keeping the head down and look at the floor? Can't do.
I (German) was also taught not to stare. In Germany, this is part of the etiquette as well. When people stare nevertheless, it is mostly out of plain curiosity, though, I think. Maybe someone is super attractive (and who does not want to see some eye candy?), or they have an interesting style, or attention-grabbing behavior, or American tourists who are super loud and it seems that they want everyone around them to pay attention to them, it seems, etc. Staring is not necessarily coming from a negative perspective, but may come from a positive perspective as well. I have stared at people from a negative side only when people are doing something offensive (such as once where I was witness to a guy mistreating his girlfriend across from the street and I wanted him to know that he is in public and people pay attention and watch out for his girlfriend)… Other than that, I try to avoid staring as much as possible.
In Germany we have this probably romantic idea, that we see the character of a person in the eyes, so we value honesty (to a degree other people might find being rude, especially in Berlin, people will always let you know what they really think about you or something, lol, you never have to guess.) It is this cultural idea of a trust based society. Look me in the eyes, so I can see what character you have. Personally I tend to stare (being German in Berlin) at people I find attractive or interesting, I do not stare at people I would dislike, for why waste time seeing something I do not like to see? Sometimes I admire the daring of people being themselves, or curiosity of what I haven't seen and want to know more about. Many Germans would regard people who always look away as shifty, like "what does he have to hide, that he is always looking away?" XD
"Look me in the eyes, so I can see what character you have." I would say it's more "look me in the eyes, so I can see what you're up to (in this moment)". E.g. Boxers don't observe their opponents hands, they observe their eyes/face because they can see what's coming next in it.
You are a famous TH-cam Star.🌟 That's why people fascinated by you are staring! 😳 Be sure to bring enough autograph cards with you on your next visit! 😀
Huh, never thought it was a particular German thing. That is quite interesting! I can say, that I sometimes catch myself looking at people that are good-looking, and then I am wondering for how long I was staring. It is absolutely not meant in any sexual way. I just love to look at beauty, like sunsets, art, and people, even if feel bad about the later sometimes, especially if they are brown/black skinned and my fear is then, that they feel judged and not welcomed. I myself am used to people staring at me, because of my disability. I either look back and raise my eye-brow, or I smile at them. Usually people smile back and their whole face transforms. I just feel sorry, visitors to Germany feel uncomfortable because of that!
I was surprised that no one sad it can also be a signal you are doing something wrong. At least where I live it can mean that. Doesn't have to, of cource it can be the same as the people in the video sad. As an example: Listening to music loudly or with speakers instead of headphones in public transport can get you a lot of stares. I once had this hapen to me, listening with headphones, but so loud everyone else could hear it. I noticed the stares but didn't realize my music was so loud everyone could hear it till someone told me.
I think this entire video is about a miscommunication. They took the anglophone accusation "stare", which has a negative connotation and means "look excessively", as in "an overly prolonged time", or "with excessive intensity". They translated this to the German "starren" (it does sound very similar after all) ... which also has a negative connotation and also means looking for a prolonged period of time, or more intensely, than appropriate. So both definitions include an implicit norm of what duration or intensity of looking is appropriate and at what point it gets "too much". At no point in the entire video do they discuss where this point of "too much" is and I assume this is the crux here. The threshold of "too much looking" is lower in anglophone countries. So the word looks similar superficially and has the same connotations, but the actual actions it denotes can be completely different. They could be talking about very different actual behaviors. Very misleading. By using an emotionally charged word with negative connotations, the Easy German team has a biased approach to begin with. Of course such a term will elicit such responses. Of course people will say it's a bad thing to stare, they try to avoid it, it makes them feel uncomfortable - because this is what the word that was used suggests. Using a more neutral term and asking more open questions would have made more sense to shed light on intercultural differences.
I am Dutch and have been to Germany many times - obviously. I have still no idea what this German stare is. Is it perhaps the standard way of looking at people all across Western Europe, or perhaps the whole of Europe?
IDK where you live, Joel, but down here in NC, people stare ALL THE TIME. It is VERY "off".....The stares I get down here are more "zombie"-like, and are not friendly. I think that when people stare, its because they WANT to engage with you, but are unsure. To me, if you look at someone (you don't know), nod, or smile.....but don't continue to stare...because thats just creepy. 🤣
Maybe cultural differences in body language. I once red a book about those differences. The US Americans for example have a very wide "personal space" around them. When you enter their space they feel uncomfortable. Europeans have a tighter space. And in Arabian cultures you can come quite close before they feel uncomfortable. And the same of course with eye contact - that means "staring".
I myself experience staring not very often, but I had an American girl accusing me staring at her in the bus one time in Salzburg and I had no idea why she said that, because I did not stare at her. So I thought her behaviour was weird and she was drunk or something.
I think that it is a deeply rooted intuition of all people that they observe and judge other people. It is an important need to judge whether another person is trustworthy or not. That could be where today's staring comes from. It's just that in the past centuries it has been trained away in some cultures and less so in other cultures. The perceived big difference between Germany and the USA could also come from the fact that the population density in Germany is much higher and, secondly, the fact that the community of people rather than individuality is much more important in Germany than in the USA.
What's the point here? I'm sure you're being stared at in every country in the world. This is not a particularly German thing. For example, when I vacation in another country, my wife and I are constantly stared at. But staring is still not the biggest problem. In some Middle Eastern or Asian countries you literally have to flee from people who are attacking you in order to drag you into their store and sell you something. And in some cases you also get to know their relatives, who then want to sell you something. This is uncomfortable because you still want to remain polite and you don't get out of it that easily. And when you don't buy something they sometimes get nasty and angry. So please just stare at me, I'm good with that. Go to India one time, there people can stare. You just think, what's wrong here, am i naked or something, or do they want to eat me? I'd better leave. And then they follow you suspiciously, and look what you do next. And when you show up with a camera you get crowded immediately, and you can't escape. Germany is absolutely fine.
You do not really stare. Germans often go for walking (Spaziergang) and you are supposed to greet. You prepare the others for greeting back, nodding or else. Happens in other countries too. Staring however is rare. Usually elderly people who are bored do. Other countries like India, Arab countries do extreme.
I must admit, I'm sometimes staring at people, or at least, people feel like I was staring. However, all that means is trying to start a conversation, like, "hey, will you talk to me?". I remember one woman who asked me (in German), "Why do you stare at me?", and I answered, "You seem some kind of lost, may I help you with directions?", and I really could help her.
Guilty -.- But, I for myself "stare" at people only when I´m interested or amazed or suprised by someone. (in a positive way - and I don´t stare when I´m not interested) Some times I´m looking at someone and think - "Wow, thats a nice Charakter for a story" - and than I´m trying to take as many mental notes as I can. When I was in my teens and early twentys, I dressed like a goth (all in black, belts and such) and I provoked staring and wanted to offend people. (I´m still a goth at heart ^.~) So I think - staring is not always ment to be mean or something. People can be very interesting ^.^ And if you notice someone stare at you - just smile back - beeing nice does not cost a penny and can make someones day ^.^
Hello Joel. Not a good idea in UK to stare, but I do find myself reading the German subtitles, not the English ones, so you could say I was at least trying to emphasise? I kept thinking "Wot you lookin' at!" and that was just the young women (see "UK Karen" video I just watched on you other channel). Some of those polite German chaps would get a shock if they stared on a night out in say Newcastle or Edinburgh as per your previous videos.
What people talk about in this video is staring - really staring. Impolitely and blunt. I guess that's not what you meant, is it? We Germans are taught to look people straight in the eye, as a means of judging what kind of person one is dealing with. 'Frank und frei!'
For me where i notice me myself staring it's often just something i appretiate... like a really cool jacket or boots, but my social anxiety prevents me from asking about it or stay anything.
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Interestingly, Americans are very quick with engaging in small talk, which is more of an overstepping of privacy here in Germany. No cashier here will ever engage in any form of conversation other than the bare minimum to do the job while I've encountered tons of very talkative cashiers in the US which can be overwhelming for Germans. Maybe we do the talking with our eyes only
What you view as staring, is for many, maybe most Europeans, simply not avoiding looking. In my experience, this is common throughout northern and western Europe. Eye contact is seen as being polite and an indication of connection and interest. Constantly looking away or askance is viewed as rather sly, untrustworthy, or even weak. "Look me in the eyes and say that", is a phrase we use in English to underline honesty and strength. Isn't this phrase used in the US?
100% agreed.
Absolutely, and I also love being interested in the people around me.
💯
"Isn't this phrase used in the US?"
It's used in Germany as well.
perhaps but staring for a long time is weird
At first, I was very confused when I heard Americans claim that Germans stare at people. Not much more than anybody else, I thought. But now it seems to me we're actually dealing with two entirely different definitions of the word 'stare'. What people call 'the German stare', I as a German would categorize as just looking at people. For example, when I walk past a bus station and people are standing there or when I walk across a marketplace, I instinctively know people will look (or stare) at me. I'm not bothered by it in the least. It's a part of cultural normalcy, I guess.
People look at you for more than a second. What's the problem? I don't get it.
After 5 seconds a stare becomes violent. Germans don't stare, they just aren't as ignorant as north americans.
@@hansmeiser32 I would say that it is curiosity. Yes some use it in negative way. But most of the time people want to know you. The smaller the city the longer the stare, because they don't see new faces often.
As a German living in a small village, I stare at people because I expect the other person to look at me too, so I can greet them in a friendly way. Either when walking or when someone passes by my garden. If the other person ignores me and doesn't look at me, I find that rude somehow.
Fakt!
Ich bin mal nach Wien gefahren, mit dem Rennrad, durch Bayern, von Vorarlberg aus (West-Österreich).In einem Bayrischen Dorf habe ich einen längeren Rast gemacht, in einem Biergarten, um zu Essen und Energie zu tanken für meine lange Reise. Ein älterer Herr saß am Stammtisch etwa 10 Meter von mir entfernt, mit kariertem Hemd, Hut mit Gamsbart... Er starrte mich minutenlang an. Es war mir etwas unangenehm, aber ich dachte nur: Dieser alte Bauer hat noch nie einen komplett verschwitzten Radfahrer in Bunter Sportkleidung gesehen ! ...somit war die Geschichte für mich erledigt... Schöne Grüße aus Vorarlberg, Österreich
@@dachecker79 Wow, wie lange hast du dafür gebraucht ? Wieviele Kilometer waren das ?
Ich bin mal wegen einer Wette an einem Tag von Weingarten (bei Ravensburg) nach Karlsruhe gefahren, ca. 245 km in 11 Stunden. Bin damals zur Vorbereitung alles mögliche in Vorarlberg (Bödele, Fontanella, Damüls, Bregenzer Wald) abgefahren.
@@MichaelBurggraf-gm8vlSehr schön ! Du kennst Vorarlberg ! Die Reise nach Wien mit dem Rennrad habe ich ende Juli 2018 gemacht (täglich bei 30°-34°C), 788 Km in 7 Tagen Fahrzeit, im durchschnitt 112 Km am Tag. Ich hatte es nicht eilig, schließlich war es mein "Sport-Urlaub". Bis Wien bin ich aber nach 9 Tagen angekommen, da ich in Passau 2 Ruhetage eingelegt habe. Zur Erholung und weil es so eine wunderschöne Stadt ist ! Meine längste 1 Tages fahrt war die "Bodensee-Rundfahrt" (mit Startnummer) 220 Km in etwa 11 Stunden bei Regenwetter. Deine 245 Km in 11h sind für mich sehr beeindruckend ! Ich bin ein Schwergewicht (103kg) und Jahrgang 1979, daher nennen mich meine Rennradkumpel "liebevoll" "Kugelblitz" oder "Asphaltbomber" ...hahaha, die Arschlöcher. Viele meiner fahrten habe ich auf YT dokumentiert...schau mal vorbei ! Schöne Grüße und Kette rechts ! Channel Link: th-cam.com/video/4mewzbJ1di8/w-d-xo.html
@@MichaelBurggraf-gm8vl 788 Km, 7 Tage
I love people watching. Big dark sunglasses, a café latte and a book, sitting outside a café. It is just as entertaining as going to the zoo 😂😂😂😂
Im not staring. I look. And sometimes you catch the eye of a stranger and you give a little smile.
You never know, a smile from a total strange person could make someones day
For me looking means interest and openness
I am from the UK and have been to Germany many times and NEVER felt that anyone was staring at me.
There may be a misinterpretation of "staring" sometimes by visitors. Looking someone in the eyes in passing does not have to be invasive if done with a smile and a sense of general openness. In doing so one communicates having nothing to hide and being approachable. In more closed communities that is especially important. In villages, for instance, it's very normal to just greet a person in passing, even complete strangers. There are no motives other than interest, friendliness and a sense of community.
The best way to deal with "staring" or prolonged looking is to smile and greet the person, acknowledging the interest. Or ignore it. It's almost never meant in a negative way.
Typicall Ami, Tutorial:
Step 1: Complaining that germans would be so reserved and that its hard to make friends.
Step 2: "DONT LOOK AT ME!!"
While brakeing every social norm in Germany 🤣
German totorial to make friends😂:
1. Look around.
2. If someone look back say hi.
Noteworthy is also, that the so called "German Stare" is also a form of communication.
Example: A few years ago, a colleague and I wanted to inspect one of our offices in the north, around 2 hours away from our headquarter. But there were some uncertainties, that could easily cancel our visit. The day before our planed inspection I had a meeting. When I left the room, my colleague came down the hallway. I looked him in the eyes. He shaked his head. I shrugged my shoulders. That was the whole conversation.
In Germany, looking people in the eyes is not staring in the sense of threatening. It means you have nothing to hide and you are open for communication. In the old days, they taught that the schoolchildren and the military recruits. Staring as a threat is a totally different matter and if somebody looks weird or behaves unnormal he wants to raise attention and can hardly complain when it works (unless its unintentional of course).
i think the difference is just the socially accepted length of a look. we usually don't consider it staring in germany, we're just looking around. if someone looks or acts different then people will look a bit longer because it's more interesting and then they'll just continue with their day
i think a lot of the people in the video are talking about what a german would consider staring not what an american would consider staring. if you asked me if i stare at people i'd say rarely but if you asked an american how much i stare at people they would probably say i do it a lot lmao
Why? We usually don´t. It is just socially acceped, to look a few seconds longer and it doesn´t mean anything, unless your body language clearly says, that it does. Only then it becomes staring. Otherwise it is just healthy interest in the world around you. We rather don´t engage in smalltalk, looking at each other is also a part of normal social interaction, which might partially replace that.
I think, the responses are misleading. Everybody is accidently crossing a line some time and that is, what most of the interviewed people are describing, when they are asked about it. The real point however, is the different position of that line.
If I tell my child „guck da nicht so hin!“ „Don’t stare at sth./so.!“ that’s implying that I think there is an issue with that person. Children can watch whatever they are interested in and learn and judge for themselves. And because people know that’s just what kids do, nobody takes offense.
If you recognize, someone staring at you, then you staring at him too. So always both sides are staring 😄
not true, you can see someone starring at your through your peripheral vision
@@bta7658staring is staring
😂😂😂😂
@@bta7658 Yes and then you can do the insanely badass move of snapping your focus onto them and holding their gaze with your own: Stare contest! 0.0
i guess us germans dont even realize that we stare at people, because its normal to us🤔
I also experienced, that if you smile most people will smile back and go along with the good vibe
Hi from Germany The staring Thing: I was taught in school to always be attentive and to observe and analyze. That's why I stare at people who catch my eye from time to time. But only briefly. I look at their face, skin color, eye color, nose shape, hairstyle, height and stature, and the clothes they wear. Then I try to imagine to which social class they belong - be clear - not in a bad way. It's just my habit. Also to analyze whether danger threatens (comes just also from nature), what does the counterpart, is there danger or is he/she perhaps looking for help in an emergency situation (perhaps he/she is forced) etc. There are many reasons that can be cited, each has different reasons. This is my opinion while staring
People could stare because they like what they see. 🤩 In the Netherlands people look at each other - especially in small cities - to check if they see someone they know, like friends or family.
When somebody stares at you just smile and think they must like what they see 😊
I look at houses, trees, cars and even people when I have nothing to do, that's completely neutral. If I'm interested in something, I might look at it for a second longer. Very rarely do I see something and start thinking about it, so I forget to look away 😅
I also love to acknowledge beautiful people by shortly giving them a friendly look. And sometimes I receive this as well. This gives fun and makes me proud. Cafés outside in the Summer time are made for this, checking out and you know when passing by or placing yourself with a coffee to relax and check the people. Have that in italy and it's even better 😅! However, I ignore elderly people being bored hanging out the window and staring at everybody passing by.
In lots of European cities, where you live close to each other, it is normal to care for the people around you and to check if a situation looks safe. That can be seen as staring, but feels to me like just looking and watching your surroundings. With more trains, trams, busses, metros and bikes, people are more connected than in other places.
I really like your videos because i can see that you are actually interested in Germany and you dont just pick videos that are good clickbait. Keep it up and greetings from Germany👋
This can have soooo many reasons, but to break it down really bluntly: Germans are more socially interested in other people.
On the other hand it strikes me, how Americans Do NOT want to be looked at, but all want to be actors or TH-camrs ...
Starring ... is a gift. We usually stare at people tht we find interesting, special,
As a German I can say that at least in the Part where I live we're not as outgoing and open like Americans, so often the Reason why we are starring maybe a bit to long is because we're interested in the other Person, the Look, the behavior etc. But we're maybe don't have enough courage or are to shy to say something :D
As German I definitely do "stare" at times. Mostly out of fascination and admiration. So much beauty in the world. Including people.
Hey J !! I'm German and I think the translation is not totally accurate ''to stare''/Ger: ''starren''
Perhaps its like ''to watch'', ''to goggle'' or ''look'' :D
... But in my region (Palatinate), we say ''Glotzen'' oder ''Gugge''.. Its like watching TV. In Ger: ''TV glotzen''
Here (Pfalz) we have a saying * Hugge un Gugge* ... ''Sit and watch'' .. That means: to chill/sit outside drink a Wine in the city, chat and look at people ( decent xD Haha)
Nice reaction
as someone who was born and raised in Berlin.. so many fellow germans were saying things like "ah its propably just confirmation bias that you feel that people look at you more when you have your hair put up or a pimple"
no, its definitely true that if I have anything eye catching about me, people start starring
but if I have my usual look I honestly don't have that problem at all
context: I am very white and have good skin, so if I do get a pimple its bright red and very obvious
and many people told me that I look much better with my hair in a pony tail or something similar, because I have a "nice head shape"
I can say with certainty taht people stare as soon as something catches their eye, postive or negative
also now that I think about it: when I had a Turkish boyfriend so many germans were starring and only a handful of immigrants, but when I had a German boyfriend all the (Young!) immigrants were starring and they were looking even more judgemental than the senior citizen germans 😭
It very much depends on what you call 'staring'. As a Czech (our culture is fairly similar to Germans, we are neighbouring countries, after all), I would describe staring as looking at someone intensely, almost like studying them, for an extended period of time. However, it could be completely normal to 'stare' at someone in the street you find interesting, especially if you do it with a genuine smile on your face. From what I've heard, Americans generally assume hostility or uneasiness when being stared at, but it very much depends on the context. Of course, I also wouldn't feel too great if I saw the person sitting opposite to me on the bus staring me down for more than a few seconds, then I would start overthinking if I have a stain on my clothes or what are their intentions, but generally, it's nothing to worry about. Usually the smaller the town/village, the friendlier and more outgoing the people are. Also, it depends on the place, but when you are a foreigner, you are pretty much guaranteed to get stared at since people can tell you aren't local, so they will stare at you. Some may do it because they don't know what to expect from a person whose words they can't understand, some do it because they do understand and rarely get the chance to meet a native speaker in person. The reasons vary, but if you are a foreigner, you are, by default, standing out more.
LOL....Growing up as kids we were taught not to stare at people too...haha...(in the UK)
It's a very basic way of communication and I think it's human nature to watch the people around you. From my experience US-Americans often appear to be outgoing and large as life, but later turn out to be a bit uptight and insecure outside their natural habitat😉.
I sometimes eye up people when I sense something bad is about to happen in order to jump to help, e.g. an elderly showing signs of insecure walking or a child balancing along the pavement close to the traffic or someone being about to knock over their glass with a newspaper. Sometimes I like a person's style or beauty and enjoy it by peeping a little....
I remember once staring at a woman sitting in front of me in the tram. She had the biggest, most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, I kept looking at her. At some point, I realised that she might get insecure, wondering if there's something wrong with her so when I left the tram, I told her in all honesty "sorry for staring at you but you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, have a nice day" and by the look on her face when she thanked me I could tell that I made her day and that made me happy. Besides the topic of staring, some people randomly would share their critics even with strangers and without being asked, claiming it as honesty. Remember that there's also a positive side of honesty and if you're really an hones person not only trying to justify rudeness, also honestly tell people when something positive stands out and make someone happier rather than trying to make other people smaller. Have a great day everyone!
German here. I think it's just another one of those cultural/social differences that make the world such a wonderfully interesting and colorful place. Sure, there is also rude staring in Germany. (I don't think I do that and I hope I'm not perceived as rude) but what is considered rude obviously follows different "rules" in Germany than in the USA.
I naturally assume that people from other parts of the world also look to see who is around them. The differences may concern e.g. the duration and where you look in different situations (in the eyes, to the side, straight, up or down for example). And this differs also between Germans and even between families or between members of one family because it also depends on if you are extroverted or introverted, male or female, shy or not and everything in between or outside.
I can imagine many misunderstandings arising from such cultural/social differences. In my experience, most of them are rather nice and funny and perhaps a good opportunity to start a friendly conversation. In extremely rare cases, however, it can also lead to more aggressive reactions.
To describe it from my perspective: For me, it's completely normal to seek eye contact. This is considered polite here, especially when greeting, toasting, in conversations, when addressing people directly, to make yourself known, etc. Irritation sometimes arises when the other person avoids my gaze.
It also feels completely normal for me not to control where I look when I let my mind wander - I don't need to look on the floor or the ceiling on the streetcar or the bus, for example.
If I guess that the other person feels stared from me, I may seek extra eye contact to give them a friendly nod and make the situation less embarrassing for them and me.
If I myself have the feeling that someone is staring at me, I also try to make eye contact and maybe nod briefly, for example. (Maybe the other person is bothered by something about me and wants to draw my attention to it - an open fly, for example - but it would be impolite without a greeting. And, as I said, for me eye contact is part of a greeting.)
I have to admit, I’ve never noticed them staring either. I’m Irish and have lived in Other European countries and in New York too. In Spain, I noticed people staring a bit but I usually smile and start up a conversation which is always friendly. I do think that Americans are very open and friendly and polite. Americans I think smile a lot and that might be why people were looking at you. I can see the French particularly thinking that smiling to yourself as being weird. In Ireland, if you stare, you’ ll end up becoming friends and probably part of the family as the Irish love everyone to be part of lives. We want the world to love us and love the world back.
I think that they are staring at you for other reasons Joel, lol! 😁🤩
The facial hair? 😂
Joel (you specifically) you're a looker. Your insecurities are completely unecessary, but it's also charming that you do have them. 😉
The whole thing about the staring is that you don't have to expect to get shot because you stared at the wrong person😉
I'm in my sixties and , while I don't dress up all the time, I do put an effort in to look reasonably smart. I've visited Germany on numerous occasions but only briefly each time. I didn't find staring to be an issue there, but I did get a few looks of what I took as approval on a few occasions. I also spent two weeks in the US a few years back and I found Americans to be quite paranoid the way they avoided eye contact. On the few occasions I noticed someone looking at me it always felt intimidating. The people who looked at me appeared to be quite dangerous. I was glad to get out of there.
"I also spent two weeks in the US a few years back and I found Americans to be quite paranoid the way they avoided eye contact."
I would say here in Germany avoiding eye contact is seen as rude - at least I deem it rude. I would guess this is because you can see a person's intention in their eyes and if they avoid eye contact they have something to hide.
I'v got one leg and kids are the best, they just stare and stare sometimes vocalising what they see much to the horror of the accompanying parent! Now after 30 years I rarely notice it and if I do it doesn't bother me at all.
In German we have this phrase "Kindermund tut Wahrheit kund". Tried to find a similar English phrase and found "out of the mouths of babes":
- It highlights the unfiltered honesty that often comes from children.
- It conveys the notion that wisdom isn't exclusive to adults or the learned.
- The phrase usually carries a tone of surprise and admiration.
Standing in a trainstation, waiting for your train, you better be constantly aware who is besides you and especially who is behind you, for safety reasons ...
I think the whole video is subject to a big misunderstanding right from the start. When the Germans are asked in the video: Have you ever stared at someone? Then they understand something completely different! While Americans perceive the everyday act of "looking around and not specifically avoiding eye contact" as staring, the Germans in the video think about whether they have looked at someone from top to bottom and bottom to top for a very, very long time and literally observed them have what that person does. This is how I would define staring as a German. And that's why it's not surprising that so many say they avoid it or don't want to do it. However, this does not mean the everyday intense eye contact that is completely normal for us. But I understand that paying attention and then reading something into these meaningless looks fuels your own insecurities.
Look, sometimes on public transport I realize that I was staring at someone while in reality my brain was in a completely different dimension, I don't know, I was just trying to remember if I had turned off the oven at home before going out. But often when it happens a particular psychological situation arises for which lowering one's eyes is, in my preconceptions, interpreted as a symptom of guilt therefore, to demonstrate that I am not guilty of anything, at most I smile or observe someone else but not immediately. Make sense? I forgot, I'm Italian.
Or make I look as if you would have made your eyes wander to other things anyways😊
You really found the right response to staring: staring back with a friendly smile and maybe a nod.
Above all it's a sign of self-confidence but usually in a friendly sense. It's also an acceptable way of getting an impression of others, about their character, about their mood, if they're ready for a conversation/small talk or if they're too busy. Being interested and a bit curious in other people isn't a bad thing in general. Of course staring at someone due to a sign of illness or due to a disability isn't ok. Don't stare at a person to make her or him feel uncomfortable - I don't think that's acceptable, at least impolite.
And I think it's not that uncommon in other European countries as well, maybe not as intense as in Germany. Walking past people sitting outside of a cafe in France or Italy of course some people will stare at you.
I love to sit in outside cafés to look at people walking by. Many cafés turn all chairs in the direction of the street because of it.
The only time I really felt like people were staring was when I was walking through NYC with my girlfriend. And that only happened in a certain corner when we left Central Park and probably behaved quite silly and conspicuously.
I can't agree with that for Germany, but that may also be because I didn't notice any staring when I was strolling the streets there . But as it was mentioned in the video already, everyone looks at someone sometimes, certainly more than once a day. But that's mostly not staring according to my personal definition of staring at people.
The 'staring' not only affects people but also objects (cars, front gardens). For example, if you look long enough at a car next to you at the traffic lights, you can produce similar reactions
A good method to react is simply stare back (if the other person doesn't look aggressive) - because a lot of people don't even realize they're staring. If you stare back they are embarrassed and look the other way.
People are just interesting. :3
Being stared at or catching myself staring, I just give a brief smile and often it is returned. :)
Also, it is awkward to forcefully not look at someone passing you or the likes. xD
Once, when I thought I was being stared at, I also asked if I had 'egg on my pants' or what? But I said with a smile. The tone makes the music here!
It's not just Germans. I am African and my boyfriend is German. We went to a Dutch city called Venlo. The Dutch stare a lot even more than the Germans. Since I live in Germany, I have gotten used to their stares because I realized that at the end of it all, it is harmless and just out of curiosity. But the Dutch stares were very intense😅
3:17 that dude with the führer-stache probably receives alot of stares! XD
If I'm out and about (rarely and usually in and around a hospital, with my carer - who is ny daughter - due to my necessary health appointments) and I see anyone staring at me (as I'm in a wheelchair) I just stare back. If they feel awkward due vto them realising they'd been staring at me, they'll usually look away after I've stared back at them... If they instead continue to stare at ne, I'll continue to stare back - if I'm stationary, of course. If someone stares at me as I'm moving oast them, ir they're moving oast me, I take no notice. Whatever their reason is for staring at ne, is of no consequence if we are not sratiobary so have no reason or opportunity to interact. I haven't, to be fair, noticed anyone staring - in the sense that you are referring to...eg any prolonged staring, so the whole thing is moot. I havent been abroad since I was 13, (on a school trip to Rome) so never having been to Germany, I've no experience of this behaviour! Any prolonged staring whikst stationary can be resolved by staring back for a shirt while then smiling to break any apparent tension, and whatever the reason is for the staring is probably just showing an interest or a need to ask a question (why the wheelchair, in my case, maybe ?!) But, definitely not worrying or scary etc!!
If I'm in public and see a person in a wheelchair (alone) moving around I might pay a little more attention to this person because Europe is pedestrian friendly but not necessarily wheelchair friendly (curbs too high etc.) and they might need help. Same for old people with rolling walkers (I hope that's the correct English term).
You don't stare, because someone might shoot at you. We don't have that fear.
Yes, there are people who stare at other people because of their race and skin color, but the overwhelming majority do so because of their charisma or because they look special or because of their clothing, etc. Very few people do this to provoke. I think people misinterpret being stared at. When I stare at someone, and it's quite often, it's for the reasons mentioned.
"Honestly i did not expect these answers at all."
Me as a german can proudly say ... Hä? xd
What other answer would there be to stare at someone other than thinking they have something interesting or scary or odd to them? Like i often see people who just have a more unique look than somebody else and even if it's maybe a bigger nose, bigger lips, smaller eyes, or anything at all i just look at them for like 3 seconds and look away again just because i notice it and think "Hm" and look away again and by god with no bad means at all like obviously i don't think anybody looks weird or ugly or anything but i don't know ... just a way of percieving each other i guess
I also wouldn't stare if I knew that anyone on the street could possibly have a gun. Instead, I would always put on a fake smile - oh wait ...
In Sweden mosty old people stare, I'd say. Especially on the tram or the bus.
My response to people staring at me for a long time is stare back but in a overperformed way like making a hilarious angry face, or stick the tip out of my mouth and make a dead face. All kinds of funny faces work very well I think
Also, nicht nur im kleinen bayerischen Dorf (weit weg von Berlin), sondern auch in der (kleinen) Hauptstadt von Brandenburg, Potsdam, direkt neben Berlin wird angestarrt.😂😂😂
It is very bad for those with social anxiety as you constantly feel like you somehow don't fit in and are being judged, this is made worse by people filming with their phones, you can feel like some sort of unpaid attraction rather than just being left to live your life in modest peace. It is polite and proper to maintain eye contact when having a conversation with someone but just being endlessly observed by strangers is not. What seems harmless (or even positive) to some can reinforce a terrible complex and elicit fear in others.
I'm from Croatia and it's similar situation here. But believe me, it's with more prejudice here. We are small country.....smaller than New York 🤣
Thers is also a difference between aggressive staring and interested staring. I would also say interested staring falls into multiple categories like interested as your bf/gf, fashion the person is wearing.... Also, I grew up in a small village and you wete exspect to make eye contact and not just when uou are right in front of them and greet ppl
Yes, I do occasionally stare at other people, but it’s to 50% unintentionally and out of curiosity. I just like meeting new people. So my brain probably tries to get a hint on how to best approach a total stranger… The other 50% is me not staring AT people, looking THROUGH people (AKA zoning out)… 😆
At least we don't discriminate,when it comes to staring😊❤I love watching people, what can I do.
Some Americans who visit Germany may feel uncomfortable or even offended by the way Germans look at them. They may think that they are being stared at, judged, or challenged. However, this is usually a cultural misunderstanding, not a personal attack. Here are some possible reasons why Germans stare more than Americans:
- Germans have a different concept of personal space and eye contact. They tend to stand closer and look longer than Americans, who value more distance and privacy. This does not mean that Germans are rude or intrusive, but rather that they are curious and attentive.
- Germans are more direct and honest than Americans, who often use euphemisms and small talk to avoid confrontation or awkwardness. Germans may stare at someone to show interest, to give feedback, or to express disagreement. They expect the other person to do the same, and not to look away or smile politely.
- Germans are less influenced by media and advertising than Americans, who are constantly exposed to images of celebrities, models, and influencers. Germans may stare at someone who looks different, unusual, or attractive, not because they are judging them, but because they are fascinated by them. They may also stare at someone who wears flashy or inappropriate clothing, not because they are mocking them, but because they are puzzled by them.
There is also a different Type of Staring. It’s wenn You do something wrong, and People want to Tell you that with an intense Staring!
There is a bavarian or maybe german response to one staring: "Hab ich ein Schnitzel im Gesicht oder warum schaust du so bloed?" / "Have I got a Schnitzel in my face or why are you looking so dumb?" - :D
A friend of mine, an engineer from Africa, worked in China for two years. The Chinese people not only stared at him with mouth open, they tried to touch his skin and his hair. So I think Germany is pretty decent with "only" staring. LOL. BTW I learned as a German kid: Do not stare at people, it is unfriendly.
this reminds me of a video i saw, where someone talked about assuming things. he said, that he assumes, people think bad about him, whenever they stare at him, that they judge him. but then he realised, that he is the one judging them by assuming that they have bad thoughts about him, by assuming they are bad people. in reality, they just stare. thats it. you dont know why unless you ask them and most of the time they will be like "what? i dont know, i just looked around"
and another thought for you...if you see them staring, it means, you are staring at them too xD
Thanks for your channel!
I am German. I probably do stare. I am not aware of it. For me, it is "normal". But then, as it is normal, I do not perceive nor mean it as staring. So: The time period it TAKES for you to perceive my looking as staring is much shorter than what I would consider staring, if you get my meaning. I like to look people in the eye to check out if they are friendly, to see a bit of that person and how they react to me. It is a way of making contact. Sometimes it might lead to a nice conversation. But if I guess correctly, the time you check someone out is MUCH shorter, and you might consider anything beyond this short moment "staring" while for me, I am still in the "checking out" phase, culturally. So: It is NOT staring for the typical German, but just looking, but it seems for you it already is uncomfortable. For me, to consider something as staring, it has to go on for a really good amount of time. like, I hardly realize it if it is less than ten seconds or so.
However, I (german) only "observe" people because they often possess something interesting. My observations are always positive and never with the intention of criticizing anyone. When people staring at me, I take it as a compliment. No trubble 🙂
we are not staring we are "aufmerksam"
Some englishman sang that there's a stareway to heaven.
Its not usual for people to stare in the UK - a protracted stare is likely to trigger an aggressive response in some cases because its seen as a possible threat. Not a good idea...
I think, what you can get from this video, and also what would be answer, is, don't expect a bad intention behind it. Mostly we're just interested in cool interesting people. And americans probably would have a small talk in this situation, but this is much more considered as "invading my personal space" here as the thing with looking at people. You get probably much faster an agressive reply from a german for that. 😉
So, just stay cool and take it with a smile 😀
Greetings from Berlin 😎
As a german, I wouldn't call that staring, i call that just looking at someone. Either unconciously like on a train or bus, what else is there to do when sitting around....what do you expect people to do, keeping the head down and look at the floor? Can't do.
I (German) was also taught not to stare. In Germany, this is part of the etiquette as well. When people stare nevertheless, it is mostly out of plain curiosity, though, I think. Maybe someone is super attractive (and who does not want to see some eye candy?), or they have an interesting style, or attention-grabbing behavior, or American tourists who are super loud and it seems that they want everyone around them to pay attention to them, it seems, etc. Staring is not necessarily coming from a negative perspective, but may come from a positive perspective as well. I have stared at people from a negative side only when people are doing something offensive (such as once where I was witness to a guy mistreating his girlfriend across from the street and I wanted him to know that he is in public and people pay attention and watch out for his girlfriend)… Other than that, I try to avoid staring as much as possible.
In Germany we have this probably romantic idea, that we see the character of a person in the eyes, so we value honesty (to a degree other people might find being rude, especially in Berlin, people will always let you know what they really think about you or something, lol, you never have to guess.) It is this cultural idea of a trust based society. Look me in the eyes, so I can see what character you have. Personally I tend to stare (being German in Berlin) at people I find attractive or interesting, I do not stare at people I would dislike, for why waste time seeing something I do not like to see? Sometimes I admire the daring of people being themselves, or curiosity of what I haven't seen and want to know more about.
Many Germans would regard people who always look away as shifty, like "what does he have to hide, that he is always looking away?" XD
"Look me in the eyes, so I can see what character you have."
I would say it's more "look me in the eyes, so I can see what you're up to (in this moment)".
E.g. Boxers don't observe their opponents hands, they observe their eyes/face because they can see what's coming next in it.
You are a famous TH-cam Star.🌟 That's why people fascinated by you are staring! 😳
Be sure to bring enough autograph cards with you on your next visit! 😀
Huh, never thought it was a particular German thing. That is quite interesting!
I can say, that I sometimes catch myself looking at people that are good-looking, and then I am wondering for how long I was staring.
It is absolutely not meant in any sexual way. I just love to look at beauty, like sunsets, art, and people, even if feel bad about the later sometimes, especially if they are brown/black skinned and my fear is then, that they feel judged and not welcomed.
I myself am used to people staring at me, because of my disability. I either look back and raise my eye-brow, or I smile at them. Usually people smile back and their whole face transforms.
I just feel sorry, visitors to Germany feel uncomfortable because of that!
The big question for me is: _why exactly_ don't people look at each other in some countries?
I was surprised that no one sad it can also be a signal you are doing something wrong. At least where I live it can mean that. Doesn't have to, of cource it can be the same as the people in the video sad. As an example: Listening to music loudly or with speakers instead of headphones in public transport can get you a lot of stares. I once had this hapen to me, listening with headphones, but so loud everyone else could hear it. I noticed the stares but didn't realize my music was so loud everyone could hear it till someone told me.
I think this entire video is about a miscommunication. They took the anglophone accusation "stare", which has a negative connotation and means "look excessively", as in "an overly prolonged time", or "with excessive intensity". They translated this to the German "starren" (it does sound very similar after all) ... which also has a negative connotation and also means looking for a prolonged period of time, or more intensely, than appropriate. So both definitions include an implicit norm of what duration or intensity of looking is appropriate and at what point it gets "too much".
At no point in the entire video do they discuss where this point of "too much" is and I assume this is the crux here. The threshold of "too much looking" is lower in anglophone countries. So the word looks similar superficially and has the same connotations, but the actual actions it denotes can be completely different. They could be talking about very different actual behaviors. Very misleading.
By using an emotionally charged word with negative connotations, the Easy German team has a biased approach to begin with. Of course such a term will elicit such responses. Of course people will say it's a bad thing to stare, they try to avoid it, it makes them feel uncomfortable - because this is what the word that was used suggests. Using a more neutral term and asking more open questions would have made more sense to shed light on intercultural differences.
if you are self-confident, you stare more and if you are more self-confident you don't mind being stared at either
I am Dutch and have been to Germany many times - obviously. I have still no idea what this German stare is. Is it perhaps the standard way of looking at people all across Western Europe, or perhaps the whole of Europe?
IDK where you live, Joel, but down here in NC, people stare ALL THE TIME. It is VERY "off".....The stares I get down here are more "zombie"-like, and are not friendly. I think that when people stare, its because they WANT to engage with you, but are unsure. To me, if you look at someone (you don't know), nod, or smile.....but don't continue to stare...because thats just creepy. 🤣
Maybe cultural differences in body language. I once red a book about those differences. The US Americans for example have a very wide "personal space" around them. When you enter their space they feel uncomfortable. Europeans have a tighter space. And in Arabian cultures you can come quite close before they feel uncomfortable. And the same of course with eye contact - that means "staring".
I myself experience staring not very often, but I had an American girl accusing me staring at her in the bus one time in Salzburg and I had no idea why she said that, because I did not stare at her. So I thought her behaviour was weird and she was drunk or something.
I think that it is a deeply rooted intuition of all people that they observe and judge other people. It is an important need to judge whether another person is trustworthy or not. That could be where today's staring comes from. It's just that in the past centuries it has been trained away in some cultures and less so in other cultures. The perceived big difference between Germany and the USA could also come from the fact that the population density in Germany is much higher and, secondly, the fact that the community of people rather than individuality is much more important in Germany than in the USA.
What's the point here? I'm sure you're being stared at in every country in the world. This is not a particularly German thing.
For example, when I vacation in another country, my wife and I are constantly stared at. But staring is still not the biggest problem.
In some Middle Eastern or Asian countries you literally have to flee from people who are attacking you in order to drag you into their store and sell you something. And in some cases you also get to know their relatives, who then want to sell you something. This is uncomfortable because you still want to remain polite and you don't get out of it that easily. And when you don't buy something they sometimes get nasty and angry. So please just stare at me, I'm good with that.
Go to India one time, there people can stare. You just think, what's wrong here, am i naked or something, or do they want to eat me? I'd better leave. And then they follow you suspiciously, and look what you do next. And when you show up with a camera you get crowded immediately, and you can't escape.
Germany is absolutely fine.
You do not really stare. Germans often go for walking (Spaziergang) and you are supposed to greet. You prepare the others for greeting back, nodding or else. Happens in other countries too. Staring however is rare. Usually elderly people who are bored do. Other countries like India, Arab countries do extreme.
I must admit, I'm sometimes staring at people, or at least, people feel like I was staring. However, all that means is trying to start a conversation, like, "hey, will you talk to me?". I remember one woman who asked me (in German), "Why do you stare at me?", and I answered, "You seem some kind of lost, may I help you with directions?", and I really could help her.
Guilty -.-
But, I for myself "stare" at people only when I´m interested or amazed or suprised by someone. (in a positive way - and I don´t stare when I´m not interested) Some times I´m looking at someone and think - "Wow, thats a nice Charakter for a story" - and than I´m trying to take as many mental notes as I can.
When I was in my teens and early twentys, I dressed like a goth (all in black, belts and such) and I provoked staring and wanted to offend people. (I´m still a goth at heart ^.~)
So I think - staring is not always ment to be mean or something.
People can be very interesting ^.^
And if you notice someone stare at you - just smile back - beeing nice does not cost a penny and can make someones day ^.^
Hello Joel. Not a good idea in UK to stare, but I do find myself reading the German subtitles, not the English ones, so you could say I was at least trying to emphasise?
I kept thinking "Wot you lookin' at!" and that was just the young women (see "UK Karen" video I just watched on you other channel). Some of those polite German chaps would get a shock if they stared on a night out in say Newcastle or Edinburgh as per your previous videos.
We do not STARE, we LOOK! It is everybodys right to look at another person. What the heck is your problem?
What people talk about in this video is staring - really staring. Impolitely and blunt. I guess that's not what you meant, is it? We Germans are taught to look people straight in the eye, as a means of judging what kind of person one is dealing with. 'Frank und frei!'
For me where i notice me myself staring it's often just something i appretiate... like a really cool jacket or boots, but my social anxiety prevents me from asking about it or stay anything.
Just stare back ;)
12:14 did anyone get the JOKE "STARgarder Str."
Hey my friend... If you come back to Europe this year, you have to come to Zurich for the streetparade. It's the biggest, most peaceful and most beautiful rave in the world. And it's free for everyone. Over 900.000 visitors every year... This year it's on August 10th in the heart of Europe... Zurich Switzerland... You can't miss it.
For a little foretaste, watch the after movie of the streetparade 2023 on youtube... Hope to see you there this year🍻✌️
Interestingly, Americans are very quick with engaging in small talk, which is more of an overstepping of privacy here in Germany. No cashier here will ever engage in any form of conversation other than the bare minimum to do the job while I've encountered tons of very talkative cashiers in the US which can be overwhelming for Germans. Maybe we do the talking with our eyes only