Baby girl. That "embarrassment " is just proof that you still BELIEVE that all things are possible.... You are strong, you are good, do not feel embarrassed. All things are possible. 💚
Alex, please don't be embarrassed. You've been hoping for something for years, and when you get even a glimpse of success it's hard not to get excited. We all love you guys and are praying for you. Your journey is so much encouragement for all of us going through the same storm. We'll cry with you!!
My husband’s came back too but caught it early. He is now 6 years in remission. Never lose hope. Plus they have made great strides with lung cancer treatments. Keep the faith. 💗
Thank you , Alex, for being transparent and real. I'm sorry that you feel embarrassed but you are loved by your online family and most importantly God 💜
Alex, I don't often comment, but this time I will because I want to offer comfort as much as I can. I'm an old lady now, but I remember and I put my arms around my daughter that I'm glad I had, because if I hadn't had her, I would have no children. I feel for you and I'm hopeful that you can stop being embarrassed. You are Alex and you are worthy of being loved.
I know you might feel embarrassed but you shouldn’t ❤ you’re a human with hopes and desires! Whether you’ve taken 1 test or a million, even little glimpses of hope are never something to be embarrassed about.
No embarrassment needed. But having a similar experience over a different matter I know there is a difference between what our hearts and brains feel. What’s so odd is, at 30 years old after having been told I could never have children and the day before a radiation test for my thyroid I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe it. My Dr told me that medicine cannot explain a God thing. I pray for peace for you. I have been blessed despite the science with God’s miraculous gift of motherhood and have two kind beautiful daughters. Even 15 and 18 years later I’m still in awe. It’s ok to share. So many people need to see this and know that it is normal and ok.
I want to thank you so much for sharing this... we are not alone in this. I want to thank you for being brave and talking about this very hard time. You are not alone. Do not feel embarrassed.
Thank you for sharing this even in the embarrassment and all of the completely valid feelings. ♥️ A moment of hope that flashed across your face… so much love for you, sweet friend. So grateful for your transparency ♥️
I've been watching you guys since 2017 going through the ups and downs of infertility and good grief! This is just so cruel that anyone should have to deal with this. I can practically hear Satan laughing! I am so so sorry!
Thank you from my bottom of my heart, we just had our 4th retrieval and found out yesterday that on day 3 that none of the ten embryos that were fertilized made it. We are tired of the heartache and knowing I’m not alone eases the pain a bit.
I love how you allow yourself to feel sadness. Most people, myself included at times, do everything possible to NOT feel sadness and if you don’t feel your feelings, they just eat you for lunch. How could you not have hope? Of course, you do. You are human and that’s what we do: we hope.
Alex DEFINITLY NO REASON to be embarrassed. Our bodies play jokes on us sometimes even if they are mean ones. You just rest up lady, you just had a rise and a big let down.❤❤
I have been watching you guys for years and my heart breaks for you but you two have shown me what it take it have strength and to believe. Sending you lots of love ❤
My dear friend, ♥️ do not be embarrassed to still hold hope in your heart. God blesses us all the time and when we least expect it. I'm dealing with infertility at 37, I'm recently engaged and I don't know if I'll ever get to know motherhood. At least naturally. But I just had bariatric surgery to help with health and praying for my miracle. My mom had me at 42 in menopause after 20 yrs of infertility, my father was 50. So I'll keep praying for all of us!! Bless you Alex and the rest of your family.
Praise God for the one pregnancy you got to experience, that many don’t get to. I know it’s disappointing but you have a family and so much joy. Keep enjoying the good.
It’s impossible to not have that glimmer of hope when both Brad & Rach and Rachelle & Justin had miracle naturally conceived pregnancies after years of infertility
Yes, and same thing happened to us. First 2 kids were through IVF with basically a 0% chance of natural conception (severe male factor). 10 months postpartum while still nursing, boom, suprise positive test without trying.
No way, your or anyone not foolish to be hopeful, I understand the feeling behind it and why, and you already understand this i know. I just want to encourage you are understood to have that hope and understood to feel expectant that it wouldn't. What you are is handling your own feelings healthfully and you help people with that beautifully. And its completely understandable for even after 20 years to think or feel what you did seeing a faint line, I can see as many can how these tests sometimes especially when faulty, can really mess with people emotions especially when people are struggling with infertility. Its rather beautiful to see the hope you had still regardless, yes you said you didn't believe it but you do have that hope within you and that is amazing. I hope yall can and will build yalls family in whatever way that comes as big as its on yalls hearts to do so. You and your family have been such encouragement and inspiration to me. I started watching before yall left in rv when yall were still working on it, I was looking into fertility I had concerns. I'm no longer concerned, about to be 3 babies in myself now. Such blessing to be able to have a family, to adopt, to have babies too. Children are a precious blessing and need to be loved cared protected and taught the word of God and that they may chose and have the biggest blessing of all. Life and salvation in Christ. I dont agree with some of yalls beliefs from a scriptural stance but regardless I love yall and hope the best for yall. ❤❤ God bless yall
Please never feel embarrassed. I understand that you deal with disappointment, depression, and sadness with your infertility, but what you feel at that moment in time is real. My heart aches, and hurts for you with every vlog you create. I want you to know you are never alone, should never feel not worthy of compassion, because I have followed you and your family for quite some time now, and just care about you, your family, and your struggles. I have seen your good days, bad days, and everything in between. Life is a daily lesson, and you are dealt with certain cards, and it is how you handle them is what counts. We are human beings with feelings. I am continously amazed with your outlook on life in general. You and Phil have a beautiful family, homestead, etc, and have built a wonderful future. The Lord above never abandons us, but guides us through whatever situation we face. Hugs sent to you, and just know I will always be a supporter, a follower, and a "you tube friend". Let your love multiply and burn brightly. 🥰
I’ve had so many false positives this past year. Thanks for sharing. I want to just give you the biggest hug! Miracles do happen every day. Don’t feel silly, embarrassed or foolish. It’s real life with infertility. This is why you do this :)
I'm so sorry Alex! I will never understand why some of the best people in life can't easily have children, yet some of the worst monsters in the world can. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Alex, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! Infertility sucks!! And that black dog analogy is perfect for so many different emotions. Might I suggest that by sharing your “black dog” moment, you can let other people love and pray on you, helping to pull that black dog back a bit. Please know that so many of us have our own black dogs to deal with that helping someone else dealing with theirs, helps us with our own black dog.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about! This is a very real thing! I have PCOS so I get it. I have been blessed with 5 children but sometimes it was really hard especially losing 3 in the process. There's a difference between someone having 2 and stopping them being forced to stop over something you can't control.
Don't be embarrassed. The amount of times I took pregnancy test and thought it had two lines only to find out I wasn't pregnant. Take time to rest and don't be so hard on yourself. Sending prayers
Alex, you are so incredibly brave to post this. Its takes courage to emotionally expose yourself and I hope you take comfort in knowing you are helping others by sharing your experience. God bless and thank you.
I praying so hard you guys can have another baby!! I know you guys are trying your best and hopefully it will come true one day I have faith it will happen for you guys!! But don't feel embarrassed because you thought there was a line while it was negative sometimes it happens. I love you guys!
For the entire duration of this video I just wanted to hug you. A really long healing hug 🤗🤗🤗🤗. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Sending you the biggest hug all the way from Romania 🤗.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have been in your shoes many times after 7 years of infertility. We should never be embarrassed of holding on to hope or wishing for miracles 💕
All infertility couples know that squinting and changing light to see if maaaaaybe..... The name you should call yourself is hopeful and faithful even when you want to throw in the towel because no matter how many times we squint... There's always that back of your mind hope.... And real, authentic, and honest... Which we really really appreciate. Hope is never foolish. You are loved!
This has been the best video you have shared in a long time. Thanks for keeping it real! You should not be embarrassed but I’ve been there, I get it. But this is real and I like that’s you’ve kept it real.
Emotions are emotions and you are going on a rollercoaster still…. with still thinking of your possible baby in those split seconds, to protect. I also deal with bad stomach issues…. I was only able to have one child, fibroids, etc. I always wanted to have 3 children… God gave me the other 2 when they were in their 20 & 30’s, for me to mama too. Such a blessing!
Infertility is the walk between hope and tempering hope. We walk that line every day of every cycle. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. I have been in this position way too many times and you have nothing to be embarrassed about it.
I’ve been in that situation so many times I know how it feels. I know the embarrassment you feel in yourself even when your not telling a soul. Thank you for openly reminding us we aren’t alone 😢
Oh Alex the Depression Dog is so spot on. Not only that but grief also happens with the death of a dream. Feel those feels Girl!!!💔 Praise the Lord we have a Redeemer who bring us comfort in all those moments we need Him the most.🙌🏼 Much Love Sis!!!
It’s not foolish, it’s faith! God surprises us all the time and of course you wouldn’t want to risk an X-ray if you had a tiny miracle in you! That shows how protective of a mommy you are! Sorry it took you on an emotional rollercoaster. Prayers for all of God’s surprises to come you and your family!! 💞
This video was so raw and real ❤ Even though we have been diagnosed with infertility, each and every month I still have hope that a miracle will happen so I believe your emotions are completely justified. Infertility sucks and is hard but you’re doing a great job navigating through it 🫶
I feel this so deeply i wish i could take away the fear and embarrassment because this is something you should not have to feel this way we love you alex and are giving virtual hugs 🫂praying for a peaceful and loving future for ur family
I am so glad that you chose to post this video. I can only imagine how many people will be able to relate and not feel so alone. To me this shows how strong you are Alex. I continue to pray every day for God's miracles :) XOXO
Alex, HOPE is never embarrassing!!!! From someone that has suffered with infertility for nearly 10 years with no success- I still carry hope always. Love and blessings to you and your family 👪 ❤️ 🙏 xxx
Hope is never something to be embarrassed for.❤️ And on a lighter note, anyone who’s ever watched old episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” has had it drilled into their head, over and over again, that if anything ever changes or even slightly gives you any reason whatsoever to entertain the barest hint of doubt, just take a pregnancy test.
I can't tell you how many shadows of lines I have seen and as a result have "gotten my hopes up". And I can absolutely relate to the feelings of embarrassment, even if I haven't told a soul about it. That internal, gut-wrenching feeling of having the audacity to have any hope, even just a tiny glimmer, and then just feeling stupid... Infertility is so emotionally uncomfortable in so many ways, it's alienating, it almost makes you feel crazy for having any hope at all. Thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery and authenticity in sharing your experiences with infertility makes so many of us feel less alone.
😭 gosh Alex you are so beautiful. You are such a lovely example of walking through the darkest days of infertility. Thank you for letting us into such a vulnerable moment and the rest of your day when you didn’t want to vlog. I cried watching you and listening to you describe how you felt as I could resonate so much with it. Thank you for being you 💛
Theirs nothing to be embarrassed about to me it don't hurt to take a test to see cause it's better to know than to sit and wonder I love to watch you and your family your an inspiration to us all
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! You are so strong and brave to share your struggles. All along, your choice COULD have been to live in bitterness and self pity, resenting everyone with a different story. Instead, you have followed your passion from the Lord to come alongside others dealing with loss, hurt and delayed dreams. You inspire me everytime I watch your channel! Praying for you 💜
16 years of infertility and I stopped taking tests. I was two weeks late and took one a few weeks ago. The old sting. One I haven't felt on a while. I was mad for wasting money and time. I feel you Alex
Ugh I have had this happen so many times, It’s a strange embarrassment and crushing. Thank you for sharing this, honestly really feeling seen with vlog.
Alex, I hope you can give yourself some grace! It is ok to feel hopeful and wishful when looking at a pregnancy test even when you know the odds are not in your favor. I know growing your family is so strong on your heart, and I know that it will happen for you someday in some way. Be kind to yourself! ❤
Better to be safe then sorry so I don’t know if this matters to you I’m a seventy four year old mom of four easy pregnancies but this is so raw and real it made me cry and empathize with you. NEVER BE EMBARASSED ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. LIFE IS REAL AND IN THE MOMENT. you are one of the bravest woman I have gotten to know on the internet because you are so willing to share your journey. Cry if you must.
Oh my gosh. Without an x-ray it would have been so much less stressful! You needed to do the right thing and so you were extra cautious. It was painful and hard. You did the right thing and do not need to be embarrassed!
Alex I adore you my dear. It’s all life and you’re SO BRAVE for all you allow us in. I love you guys and I need everything you guys give. My infertility journey was very different and now my divorce journey is swallowing me whole. I see nothing to be embarrassed about and I’m here for you ❤ Depression is stifling everyday for me
You're Not a fool. You're human and hoping. And miracles can Happen. And you're right crying ist good for the Soul! I just want to give you a hug, cry with you until you can smile again. 😘
Good Lord! Never, never, never feel embarrassed over something like this. You are a human with hopes and fears and anxieties as are we all. My heart leapt into my throat for you, even though, as you've said, you weren't expecting a positive or anything like that but just that faint line leads to faint hopes for you and for all of us who are watching and joining in your lives. We love you all so much and we want your lives to be fulfilled and happy no matter how that ends up looking. Hugs
I have a girlfriend who has had cancer twice. She has tried all the treatments and has been in remission twice. BUT every time she feels something unusual in her body, even just a feeling in her gut, she spirals into panic that it has returned for a third time. It’s just something that you carry in your Mary Poppins bag forever. Infertility, a traumatic birth, a violent relationship. These things live with you forever. I’m sorry you continue to go through this struggle. This would have been devastating for anyone to live through all of those past experiences all over again. Every single time.
You have hope and faith and you are protective of all your kids. You made the right choices in being sure before proceeding. Infertility has impacted your life in so many ways, but the fact you still have faith and hope is an inspiration. It’s hard, but rather live a life of hope and faith in positive things than to dwell in the negative and have no expectations.
Alex thank you sharing this it's all part of the journey I think that you never lose faith and hope and it's not an easy journey that you and Philip are on but never be ashamed of wanting it to be a positive test it could happen that's in God's hands stay strong Hugs ❤❤❤
You said it was almost your time of the month so obviously you're gonna be more emotional But you never have to be embarrassed or apologized for feelings feelings are real My heart goes out to you for years watching you go through the battles that you 2 are going through
Alex thank-you for sharing I feel not alone I been trying for 10 years 🥺🥺😔 I lose myself and I stopped taking test I'm scared to see negatives I'm tired I'm exhausted Alex but thank you 🙏 so much love ❤️
Fertility is so very hard. My husband and I have been married and trying to conceive for 13 years . Every month, my heart is so hopeful even though my brain knows better. Don't be hard on yourself. It's not fair. It's heartbreaking. It's hard. I am here with you.
Oh Alex, I knew this wasn't a pregnancy announcement, but I was just praying and hoping too even though I am certain you wouldn't title the vlog as you did. There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Miracles do happen, and you've got some things working in your favor too. I've not been here since the beginning but I've been here since shortly after Callie was born. And I can't wait to cry with you and Phillip soon when you get that positive pregnancy test.
I think I can speak for most people who have gone through infertility. Most of us have gone through this. The moment you think maybe just maybe you can be the one who beats infertility without treatment. Because it does happen. Then you question why you would ever think that you could get pregnant naturally. There is nothing embarrassing about this. It’s okay to want that. It’s okay to have a little hope. But I know the letdown is real and emotional. And painful. I’ve felt this pain and I think many of us have. We are all here with you ❤️
I don’t think you should feel embarrassed at all! I’ve never struggled with infertility, but I have spent many years without preventing pregnancy, so I could very easily have had this exact same experience. A bit sad that you didn’t have a miracle pregnancy? Sure! Embarrassed? No way! Praying that y’all get your next miracle soon, whether by IVF, adoption or a miraculous natural pregnancy. ❤
Don’t be embarrassed. I hope you are so proud of yourself for being so strong but also so vulnerable. I did not suffer from your kind of infertility but I do suffer from a different kind of fertility that’s not talked about much…due to a very complicated pregnancy, I could not have anymore children due to the high risk that another pregnancy would end in a uterine rupture. I had to have a horizontal incision and a vertical incision that crossed over each other which creates a weak point. I remember the shock and disappointment. It took a long time to accept. There was no 12 years of hope. It was just over. Have you met women experiencing this type of loss? It’s not infertility but having your fertility taken away through no fault of your own. Like you said at the end, fertility is such a gift. Hugs❤
I'm so sorry. Don't feel embarrassed. It's only human natural to be hopeful when you want something so deeply. If there is ever a glimmer of hope we cling to it. It's not embarrassing at all and I would never think that. I agree with your friend cause if someone does think it's foolish they need a heart change. You hear of miracles so that hope stays with you and we know we serve of God who can do anything. Praying for you and your family that he allows you to become pregnant and deliver a healthy baby. 🤍
Do not feel embarrassed! You being hopeful and sharing it with us, after all you have been through, gives SO MANY PEOPLE the reassurance that it is okay to have hope...even if the outcome is disappointing. There is absolutely NOTHING embarrassing about being hopeful and never losing that hope despite years of infertility! Hang in there. Sending prayers, baby dust, and all of the hope in the world to you from Ohio! ❤️❤️❤️
You are just too cute, Alex ❤️❤️❤️ Never be embarrassed for anything in your personality. You are so authentic and honest in your being and you are loved for being you ❤️❤️❤️ You deserve the best in this world ❤️
Alex, there is absolutely no reason to feel embarassed. Go stand in front of the mirror and apologize to yourself!! Lift yourself up, and remind yourself that you are a child of God. We love you. Give yourself grace. No reason to feel embarassed. None.
This one made me cry . I remember month after month always waiting to see and crying when my period started. They didn’t know then how much auto immune diseases affect your ability to conceive. Hang in there
Don't be embarrassed, your only human. It's natural to have those feelings. I feel like your time to have another baba is so close, I feel it when watching you video's. Sending love x
The majority of people who get married and who want children , rightly or wrongly expect to fall pregnant just when they plan it, which was the case for me many years ago. It is very sad that such wonderful individuals and parents like you are having to endure this pain. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, for irrespective of your infertility journey are you not entitled to experience a flicker that perhaps this is the month that nature is on your side. Miracle or not, it’s about time that everything goes your way, and who knows it might just happen, God willing.
Aww, Please don't feel embarrassed - Hope is important. You know miracles happen, and if you found out you were pregnant AFTER the Xray and weren't so cautious, you'd beat yourself up. I love your hope - Please never lose it.
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Baby girl. That "embarrassment " is just proof that you still BELIEVE that all things are possible.... You are strong, you are good, do not feel embarrassed. All things are possible. 💚
I could not agree more & there are too many that have changed, worked etc it is not impossible as long as there is a God :)
Praying you get a miracle. It will happen! God Bless your beautiful family.
Amen! Never forget that with HIM all things are possible Alex! Never stop believing in miracles!!
Amen!! 💗🙏
Beautifully said! 🙌🏻
Alex, please don't be embarrassed. You've been hoping for something for years, and when you get even a glimpse of success it's hard not to get excited. We all love you guys and are praying for you. Your journey is so much encouragement for all of us going through the same storm. We'll cry with you!!
She has a natural child and two adopted kids. She has a nice husband and home. She needs to stop whining and move on
@@kaypowell407 or maybe you could stop whining and move on to another channel and stop trolling 🤷🏻♀️
@@kaypowell407 Wow. You would benefit from watching their videos. It's about so much more than that. I'm sorry you see things that way.
@@kaypowell407 agree 100%. You’re right
Just found out my mom has had her lung cancer come back. Quickly. Six months ago clear CT scan. If anyone can pray for her. For me.
Praying
🙏🙏🙏❤❤❤
My husband’s came back too but caught it early. He is now 6 years in remission. Never lose hope. Plus they have made great strides with lung cancer treatments. Keep the faith. 💗
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
Thank you , Alex, for being transparent and real. I'm sorry that you feel embarrassed but you are loved by your online family and most importantly God 💜
Alex, I don't often comment, but this time I will because I want to offer comfort as much as I can. I'm an old lady now, but I remember and I put my arms around my daughter that I'm glad I had, because if I hadn't had her, I would have no children. I feel for you and I'm hopeful that you can stop being embarrassed. You are Alex and you are worthy of being loved.
I know you might feel embarrassed but you shouldn’t ❤ you’re a human with hopes and desires! Whether you’ve taken 1 test or a million, even little glimpses of hope are never something to be embarrassed about.
No embarrassment needed. But having a similar experience over a different matter I know there is a difference between what our hearts and brains feel. What’s so odd is, at 30 years old after having been told I could never have children and the day before a radiation test for my thyroid I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe it. My Dr told me that medicine cannot explain a God thing. I pray for peace for you. I have been blessed despite the science with God’s miraculous gift of motherhood and have two kind beautiful daughters. Even 15 and 18 years later I’m still in awe. It’s ok to share. So many people need to see this and know that it is normal and ok.
16:33 I recognize this so much... you are not alone, Alex, and you make me feel not alone ❤️
I want to thank you so much for sharing this... we are not alone in this. I want to thank you for being brave and talking about this very hard time. You are not alone. Do not feel embarrassed.
Thank you for sharing this even in the embarrassment and all of the completely valid feelings. ♥️ A moment of hope that flashed across your face… so much love for you, sweet friend. So grateful for your transparency ♥️
I've been watching you guys since 2017 going through the ups and downs of infertility and good grief! This is just so cruel that anyone should have to deal with this. I can practically hear Satan laughing! I am so so sorry!
Ohhh Alex I wish I could come through the phone and just hug you. Please don’t be embarrassed ❤
Thank you from my bottom of my heart, we just had our 4th retrieval and found out yesterday that on day 3 that none of the ten embryos that were fertilized made it. We are tired of the heartache and knowing I’m not alone eases the pain a bit.
I love how you allow yourself to feel sadness. Most people, myself included at times, do everything possible to NOT feel sadness and if you don’t feel your feelings, they just eat you for lunch. How could you not have hope? Of course, you do. You are human and that’s what we do: we hope.
I was holding my breath for 15 minutes straight. 😳🙏🏻 Never be embarrassed. We feel with you. Much love.
There is no reason to be embarrassed. God can perform miracles any time. My prayers are with you guys!
praying for another baby for you guys ❤
Alex DEFINITLY NO REASON to be embarrassed. Our bodies play jokes on us sometimes even if they are mean ones. You just rest up lady, you just had a rise and a big let down.❤❤
I have been watching you guys for years and my heart breaks for you but you two have shown me what it take it have strength and to believe. Sending you lots of love ❤
I’ve taken so many test that I thought were positive and turned out negative 😢 I feel you but there is always hope ❤
My steps for yogurt
1) drive to store
2) put yogurt in cart
3) pay
4) bring home
5) eat
I give you so many props for doing this
My dear friend, ♥️ do not be embarrassed to still hold hope in your heart. God blesses us all the time and when we least expect it. I'm dealing with infertility at 37, I'm recently engaged and I don't know if I'll ever get to know motherhood. At least naturally. But I just had bariatric surgery to help with health and praying for my miracle. My mom had me at 42 in menopause after 20 yrs of infertility, my father was 50. So I'll keep praying for all of us!! Bless you Alex and the rest of your family.
Thank you for sharing and being so honest. I love watching your videos and am praying for you.
Praise God for the one pregnancy you got to experience, that many don’t get to. I know it’s disappointing but you have a family and so much joy. Keep enjoying the good.
It’s impossible to not have that glimmer of hope when both Brad & Rach and Rachelle & Justin had miracle naturally conceived pregnancies after years of infertility
I watch Rachelle & Justin and seeing that happen was pretty awesome!!! I would love for that to happen to Phil and Alex!!!
Same💞
Yes, and same thing happened to us. First 2 kids were through IVF with basically a 0% chance of natural conception (severe male factor). 10 months postpartum while still nursing, boom, suprise positive test without trying.
And beautykristi
Just keep the faith ..God is not finished with you yet
No way, your or anyone not foolish to be hopeful, I understand the feeling behind it and why, and you already understand this i know. I just want to encourage you are understood to have that hope and understood to feel expectant that it wouldn't. What you are is handling your own feelings healthfully and you help people with that beautifully. And its completely understandable for even after 20 years to think or feel what you did seeing a faint line, I can see as many can how these tests sometimes especially when faulty, can really mess with people emotions especially when people are struggling with infertility.
Its rather beautiful to see the hope you had still regardless, yes you said you didn't believe it but you do have that hope within you and that is amazing.
I hope yall can and will build yalls family in whatever way that comes as big as its on yalls hearts to do so. You and your family have been such encouragement and inspiration to me. I started watching before yall left in rv when yall were still working on it, I was looking into fertility I had concerns. I'm no longer concerned, about to be 3 babies in myself now.
Such blessing to be able to have a family, to adopt, to have babies too. Children are a precious blessing and need to be loved cared protected and taught the word of God and that they may chose and have the biggest blessing of all. Life and salvation in Christ.
I dont agree with some of yalls beliefs from a scriptural stance but regardless I love yall and hope the best for yall. ❤❤ God bless yall
Please never feel embarrassed. I understand that you deal with disappointment, depression, and sadness with your infertility, but what you feel at that moment in time is real. My heart aches, and hurts for you with every vlog you create. I want you to know you are never alone, should never feel not worthy of compassion, because I have followed you and your family for quite some time now, and just care about you, your family, and your struggles. I have seen your good days, bad days, and everything in between. Life is a daily lesson, and you are dealt with certain cards, and it is how you handle them is what counts. We are human beings with feelings. I am continously amazed with your outlook on life in general. You and Phil have a beautiful family, homestead, etc, and have built a wonderful future. The Lord above never abandons us, but guides us through whatever situation we face. Hugs sent to you, and just know I will always be a supporter, a follower, and a "you tube friend". Let your love multiply and burn brightly. 🥰
I’ve had so many false positives this past year. Thanks for sharing. I want to just give you the biggest hug! Miracles do happen every day. Don’t feel silly, embarrassed or foolish. It’s real life with infertility. This is why you do this :)
I'm so sorry Alex! I will never understand why some of the best people in life can't easily have children, yet some of the worst monsters in the world can. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Alex, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! Infertility sucks!! And that black dog analogy is perfect for so many different emotions. Might I suggest that by sharing your “black dog” moment, you can let other people love and pray on you, helping to pull that black dog back a bit. Please know that so many of us have our own black dogs to deal with that helping someone else dealing with theirs, helps us with our own black dog.
Having hope (and being extra cautious) is not embarrassing Alex. ❤️
There is nothing to be embarrassed about! This is a very real thing! I have PCOS so I get it. I have been blessed with 5 children but sometimes it was really hard especially losing 3 in the process. There's a difference between someone having 2 and stopping them being forced to stop over something you can't control.
Don't be embarrassed. The amount of times I took pregnancy test and thought it had two lines only to find out I wasn't pregnant. Take time to rest and don't be so hard on yourself. Sending prayers
I'm so sorry Alex😥Praying 4 u if it's ok. Please don't feel embarrassed. You're not alone. U have alot of people with u. Love, Prayers & Hugs.
Don't be embarrassed, we are here for you. 🫂 a big hug for you.
Alex, you are so incredibly brave to post this. Its takes courage to emotionally expose yourself and I hope you take comfort in knowing you are helping others by sharing your experience. God bless and thank you.
I praying so hard you guys can have another baby!! I know you guys are trying your best and hopefully it will come true one day I have faith it will happen for you guys!! But don't feel embarrassed because you thought there was a line while it was negative sometimes it happens. I love you guys!
For the entire duration of this video I just wanted to hug you. A really long healing hug 🤗🤗🤗🤗.
Let yourself feel what you need to feel.
Sending you the biggest hug all the way from Romania 🤗.
Oh Alex … I want to hug you! Please don’t be embarrassed… totally understandable. We’ve all done it and that’s a normal reaction. ❤
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have been in your shoes many times after 7 years of infertility. We should never be embarrassed of holding on to hope or wishing for miracles 💕
All infertility couples know that squinting and changing light to see if maaaaaybe..... The name you should call yourself is hopeful and faithful even when you want to throw in the towel because no matter how many times we squint... There's always that back of your mind hope.... And real, authentic, and honest... Which we really really appreciate. Hope is never foolish. You are loved!
This has been the best video you have shared in a long time. Thanks for keeping it real! You should not be embarrassed but I’ve been there, I get it. But this is real and I like that’s you’ve kept it real.
Don't feel foolish Alex a friend of mine got pregnant after 18 years of infertility after having their first baby. Miracles happen ♥
My daughter became pregnant with baby # 3 naturally after 9 years of not doing anything to prevent . You have to be sure before having an x-ray
Rachelle and Justin are vloggers and they had to do IVF for their first 4 successful children and naturally got pregnant with their 5th baby. 🥰
My friend was 15 years between her children.
Emotions are emotions and you are going on a rollercoaster still…. with still thinking of your possible baby in those split seconds, to protect. I also deal with bad stomach issues….
I was only able to have one child, fibroids, etc. I always wanted to have 3 children… God gave me the other 2 when they were in their 20 & 30’s, for me to mama too. Such a blessing!
Infertility is the walk between hope and tempering hope. We walk that line every day of every cycle. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. I have been in this position way too many times and you have nothing to be embarrassed about it.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about! That is hope, which is a beautiful thing to have.
I’ve been in that situation so many times I know how it feels. I know the embarrassment you feel in yourself even when your not telling a soul. Thank you for openly reminding us we aren’t alone 😢
Oh Alex the Depression Dog is so spot on. Not only that but grief also happens with the death of a dream. Feel those feels Girl!!!💔 Praise the Lord we have a Redeemer who bring us comfort in all those moments we need Him the most.🙌🏼 Much Love Sis!!!
It’s not foolish, it’s faith! God surprises us all the time and of course you wouldn’t want to risk an X-ray if you had a tiny miracle in you! That shows how protective of a mommy you are! Sorry it took you on an emotional rollercoaster. Prayers for all of God’s surprises to come you and your family!! 💞
You’re not crazy at all. I went through all of this for years. Anything that looked at all like a line was exciting. Oh how I understand you. ❤
This video was so raw and real ❤
Even though we have been diagnosed with infertility, each and every month I still have hope that a miracle will happen so I believe your emotions are completely justified. Infertility sucks and is hard but you’re doing a great job navigating through it 🫶
I feel this so deeply i wish i could take away the fear and embarrassment because this is something you should not have to feel this way we love you alex and are giving virtual hugs 🫂praying for a peaceful and loving future for ur family
I am so glad that you chose to post this video. I can only imagine how many people will be able to relate and not feel so alone. To me this shows how strong you are Alex. I continue to pray every day for God's miracles :) XOXO
Sending so many prayers and love!
Alex, HOPE is never embarrassing!!!! From someone that has suffered with infertility for nearly 10 years with no success- I still carry hope always. Love and blessings to you and your family 👪 ❤️ 🙏 xxx
Hope is never something to be embarrassed for.❤️
And on a lighter note, anyone who’s ever watched old episodes of “I didn’t know I was pregnant” has had it drilled into their head, over and over again, that if anything ever changes or even slightly gives you any reason whatsoever to entertain the barest hint of doubt, just take a pregnancy test.
I can't tell you how many shadows of lines I have seen and as a result have "gotten my hopes up". And I can absolutely relate to the feelings of embarrassment, even if I haven't told a soul about it. That internal, gut-wrenching feeling of having the audacity to have any hope, even just a tiny glimmer, and then just feeling stupid... Infertility is so emotionally uncomfortable in so many ways, it's alienating, it almost makes you feel crazy for having any hope at all. Thank you so much for sharing. Your bravery and authenticity in sharing your experiences with infertility makes so many of us feel less alone.
😭 gosh Alex you are so beautiful. You are such a lovely example of walking through the darkest days of infertility. Thank you for letting us into such a vulnerable moment and the rest of your day when you didn’t want to vlog. I cried watching you and listening to you describe how you felt as I could resonate so much with it. Thank you for being you 💛
Theirs nothing to be embarrassed about to me it don't hurt to take a test to see cause it's better to know than to sit and wonder I love to watch you and your family your an inspiration to us all
You have nothing to feel embarrassed about! You are so strong and brave to share your struggles. All along, your choice COULD have been to live in bitterness and self pity, resenting everyone with a different story. Instead, you have followed your passion from the Lord to come alongside others dealing with loss, hurt and delayed dreams. You inspire me everytime I watch your channel! Praying for you 💜
16 years of infertility and I stopped taking tests. I was two weeks late and took one a few weeks ago. The old sting. One I haven't felt on a while. I was mad for wasting money and time. I feel you Alex
Ugh I have had this happen so many times, It’s a strange embarrassment and crushing. Thank you for sharing this, honestly really feeling seen with vlog.
I'm thankful when you share these
Alex, I hope you can give yourself some grace! It is ok to feel hopeful and wishful when looking at a pregnancy test even when you know the odds are not in your favor. I know growing your family is so strong on your heart, and I know that it will happen for you someday in some way. Be kind to yourself! ❤
Better to be safe then sorry so I don’t know if this matters to you I’m a seventy four year old mom of four easy pregnancies but this is so raw and real it made me cry and empathize with you. NEVER BE EMBARASSED ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. LIFE IS REAL AND IN THE MOMENT. you are one of the bravest woman I have gotten to know on the internet because you are so willing to share your journey. Cry if you must.
Oh my gosh. Without an x-ray it would have been so much less stressful! You needed to do the right thing and so you were extra cautious. It was painful and hard. You did the right thing and do not need to be embarrassed!
Alex I adore you my dear. It’s all life and you’re SO BRAVE for all you allow us in. I love you guys and I need everything you guys give. My infertility journey was very different and now my divorce journey is swallowing me whole. I see nothing to be embarrassed about and I’m here for you ❤
Depression is stifling everyday for me
You should know, but also the hope is real. Do not be embarrassed. My heart breaks for you every time. Much love for you and Phil.
You're Not a fool. You're human and hoping. And miracles can Happen. And you're right crying ist good for the Soul! I just want to give you a hug, cry with you until you can smile again. 😘
Good Lord! Never, never, never feel embarrassed over something like this. You are a human with hopes and fears and anxieties as are we all. My heart leapt into my throat for you, even though, as you've said, you weren't expecting a positive or anything like that but just that faint line leads to faint hopes for you and for all of us who are watching and joining in your lives. We love you all so much and we want your lives to be fulfilled and happy no matter how that ends up looking. Hugs
I have a girlfriend who has had cancer twice. She has tried all the treatments and has been in remission twice. BUT every time she feels something unusual in her body, even just a feeling in her gut, she spirals into panic that it has returned for a third time. It’s just something that you carry in your Mary Poppins bag forever. Infertility, a traumatic birth, a violent relationship. These things live with you forever. I’m sorry you continue to go through this struggle. This would have been devastating for anyone to live through all of those past experiences all over again. Every single time.
Honey, it's not embarrassing. It just freaking hurts. And that's ok. Trust me, I know all too well. ❤️
You have hope and faith and you are protective of all your kids. You made the right choices in being sure before proceeding. Infertility has impacted your life in so many ways, but the fact you still have faith and hope is an inspiration. It’s hard, but rather live a life of hope and faith in positive things than to dwell in the negative and have no expectations.
Don’t feel embarrassed at all!! It’s understandable the roller coaster of emotions you deal with.
Alex thank you sharing this it's all part of the journey I think that you never lose faith and hope and it's not an easy journey that you and Philip are on but never be ashamed of wanting it to be a positive test it could happen that's in God's hands stay strong Hugs ❤❤❤
You said it was almost your time of the month so obviously you're gonna be more emotional But you never have to be embarrassed or apologized for feelings feelings are real My heart goes out to you for years watching you go through the battles that you 2 are going through
Alex thank-you for sharing I feel not alone I been trying for 10 years 🥺🥺😔 I lose myself and I stopped taking test I'm scared to see negatives I'm tired I'm exhausted Alex but thank you 🙏 so much love ❤️
Oh Alex… there is a part of you holding on to the hope of possibilities, after all you have been through that is something to be proud of ❤
Fertility is so very hard. My husband and I have been married and trying to conceive for 13 years . Every month, my heart is so hopeful even though my brain knows better. Don't be hard on yourself. It's not fair. It's heartbreaking. It's hard. I am here with you.
Never be embarrassed. You are a human with a heart.
You should never be embarrassed.. you had this hope that showed so much. Look after yourself ❤
Oh Alex, I knew this wasn't a pregnancy announcement, but I was just praying and hoping too even though I am certain you wouldn't title the vlog as you did. There is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Miracles do happen, and you've got some things working in your favor too.
I've not been here since the beginning but I've been here since shortly after Callie was born. And I can't wait to cry with you and Phillip soon when you get that positive pregnancy test.
I think I can speak for most people who have gone through infertility. Most of us have gone through this. The moment you think maybe just maybe you can be the one who beats infertility without treatment. Because it does happen. Then you question why you would ever think that you could get pregnant naturally. There is nothing embarrassing about this. It’s okay to want that. It’s okay to have a little hope. But I know the letdown is real and emotional. And painful. I’ve felt this pain and I think many of us have. We are all here with you ❤️
I don’t think you should feel embarrassed at all! I’ve never struggled with infertility, but I have spent many years without preventing pregnancy, so I could very easily have had this exact same experience. A bit sad that you didn’t have a miracle pregnancy? Sure! Embarrassed? No way! Praying that y’all get your next miracle soon, whether by IVF, adoption or a miraculous natural pregnancy. ❤
Your not a fool. Your friend is right. You are a great mom to the children you have
Don’t be embarrassed. I hope you are so proud of yourself for being so strong but also so vulnerable.
I did not suffer from your kind of infertility but I do suffer from a different kind of fertility that’s not talked about much…due to a very complicated pregnancy, I could not have anymore children due to the high risk that another pregnancy would end in a uterine rupture. I had to have a horizontal incision and a vertical incision that crossed over each other which creates a weak point. I remember the shock and disappointment. It took a long time to accept. There was no 12 years of hope. It was just over. Have you met women experiencing this type of loss? It’s not infertility but having your fertility taken away through no fault of your own. Like you said at the end, fertility is such a gift. Hugs❤
I'm so sorry. Don't feel embarrassed. It's only human natural to be hopeful when you want something so deeply. If there is ever a glimmer of hope we cling to it. It's not embarrassing at all and I would never think that. I agree with your friend cause if someone does think it's foolish they need a heart change. You hear of miracles so that hope stays with you and we know we serve of God who can do anything. Praying for you and your family that he allows you to become pregnant and deliver a healthy baby. 🤍
Do not feel embarrassed! You being hopeful and sharing it with us, after all you have been through, gives SO MANY PEOPLE the reassurance that it is okay to have hope...even if the outcome is disappointing. There is absolutely NOTHING embarrassing about being hopeful and never losing that hope despite years of infertility! Hang in there. Sending prayers, baby dust, and all of the hope in the world to you from Ohio! ❤️❤️❤️
I have lived with tummy issues all my life so I understand and I love you ❤️🙏🙏🙏
You are just too cute, Alex ❤️❤️❤️ Never be embarrassed for anything in your personality. You are so authentic and honest in your being and you are loved for being you ❤️❤️❤️ You deserve the best in this world ❤️
Idk but I love this style of vlog or difference in filming is great!! Definitely more personal ! Don’t feel embarrassed ❤️
Alex, there is absolutely no reason to feel embarassed. Go stand in front of the mirror and apologize to yourself!! Lift yourself up, and remind yourself that you are a child of God. We love you. Give yourself grace. No reason to feel embarassed. None.
I feel you. I've felt the same feelings. You are loved. God is with you.
Believe in miracles, they do happen
No need to be embarrassed, sad, yes, praying for you
This one made me cry . I remember month after month always waiting to see and crying when my period started. They didn’t know then how much auto immune diseases affect your ability to conceive. Hang in there
Never stop believing in miracles! And thank you for sharing your heart. Infertility is lonely. Thank you for making me feel less lonely.
Don't be embarrassed, your only human. It's natural to have those feelings. I feel like your time to have another baba is so close, I feel it when watching you video's.
Sending love x
Wishing I could reach through to hug you. I feel sad with you. ❤️ Praying for you.
The majority of people who get married and who want children , rightly or wrongly expect to fall pregnant just when they plan it, which was the case for me many years ago. It is very sad that such wonderful individuals and parents like you are having to endure this pain. There is nothing to be embarrassed about, for irrespective of your infertility journey are you not entitled to experience a flicker that perhaps this is the month that nature is on your side. Miracle or not, it’s about time that everything goes your way, and who knows it might just happen, God willing.
Aww, Please don't feel embarrassed - Hope is important. You know miracles happen, and if you found out you were pregnant AFTER the Xray and weren't so cautious, you'd beat yourself up. I love your hope - Please never lose it.