I'm black, and it's definitely like "we're just not gonna talk about it at all whatsoever" when it comes to my transness. They don't use my pronouns, and let's just say that I won't hold my breath. Instead, they go through the trouble of constructing sentences about me that don't include ANY pronouns. Every. Single. Day. Sure, it would be easier to say they/them, but for my parents, linguistic gymnastics is preferable to acknowledging that I'm trans.
Im transgender to and I suspect my parents are very homophobic and transphobic. I have a feeling that they might disown me when I come out to them. It might sound shocking to them and I totally understand why they wont accept it. You are very brave and I thank you for posting this. This means a lot.
@@Kendricklamarslawyer There are parents in Iran (if not Iraq) who killed their child after he came out as gay. Clearly, not all parents deserve to be parents.
I’m in tears right now. I’m 16, Pakistani. Same dynamic with mother and father. My mom is super fundamentalist while my dad is a bit more lenient in terms of pushing his beliefs, but still devote whatsoever. I just wanted to thank you so much for posting this. It means so much because i have not come across a single story of someone whose outcome has been similar to what my expectations for when i come out are like. I genuinely feel the first spark of home for my future in terms of my relationship with my parents because it’s only around a year and a half until i leave for uni and i know that it’s not long but i’ve been out to my friends since 2019 (since i was 13) and it feels like a week ago that i told myself for the first time that id figure it out later (what to do for my future). Just seeing you EXIST is so important to me i can’t explain it. I actually have hope for my future for the first time in a long while. Sorry that was a bit of a ramble but the point i was trying to make was that the authenticity you put into this is genuinely such a breath of fresh air. Thank u so much again.
I’m mtf and started transitioning already. Even though my dad doesn’t know. And mom is a devout Catholic and doesn’t acknowledge me but also doesn’t deny I exist or the situation exists. And this video was so informative and well done!
words cannot express how grateful i am of this video for just existing-- im 14 and is in an almost exact same position that you were in when you were living with your parents and i am so, so happy that i found someone that actually understands what its like feeling so much negative emotions that i cant even put words on anymore and its just so relieving to me that you're being who you are and that it proves to me that i might actually have a chance to be who i am and not yeeting myself off the nearest tall building tomorrow. thank you so much
I started my journey at the age of 14 now I'm 16 and came out to my mom 1 month ago. Everything is gonna be okay people and changes need some time. I'm using a binder for now but since I'm in the last grade I can't focus on exercising and stuff. I hope I had more slim thighs, chest and more muscular appearance. We all have different kinds of dysphoria as trans people and the dysphoria won't stay with us forever, we just need some time. I hope including you, we can all get what we want from our loves and live happily
pretending to be something you're not to the people closest to you for YEARS is a daunting and stressful task, I relate to you buddy and wish you nothing but the best of luck ❤
thank u for posting this dude, seriously. i, personally, feel like i’ve learned a lot from this. im a trans teen and ive known since i was abt 12 or so but, ive been waiting to come out to my family for a while now. i don’t know when to do it but now i think im just gonna wait it out till after graduation. my friends and cousins all know it’s just my immediate family that doesn’t which sucks. i think i’d also try to have a support system as well since my family isn’t exactly accepting (mostly my dad). anyways, thank you for this ive learned a lot and im glad you’ve found a happier life dude :)
Genuinely - Thank you for this. I'm in my mid-30s and transitioning (on HRT) without telling my parents. It's going to be a real shitshow when it goes down and I'm happy to know I'm not alone in this. There are so many cheerful coming out videos, it's kind of refreshing to hear about one that is stressful because my family is extremely homophobic so the chances they accept me and who I am is very, very low. It will be a relief for it to be done with. Their reaction is their problem, not mine. Edit: I posted this comment 10 months ago and since then I am over a year on HRT. They never use my pronouns. My dad and brother have converted to Catholicism and really into repression which seems to be their coping mechanism. Their priest is openly homophobic and transphobic and they enjoy the church. We are going kind of no contact, since me and my husband (we are gay) do not feel safe around my birth family.
Im not religious in the slightest anymore. I Did used to be, until more nuanced things happened around me. Sometimes religion gets in the way of understanding and compassion for people, even within the family. If everything happens for a reason, then I believe you are a blessing granted for people around you to open their eyes to new ideas and concepts, that ultimately makes everyone happier. I wish the best for you and your family.
Man this is such a great video. I'm currently trying to make playlist for parents and kids at workers center I am part of, so glad to find a video which gets into complexity of unaccepting parents and different cultural and religous stuff. My parents are pretty accepting and dude I still was crying at the smallest mess up or misread sign of unacceptance, I can't even imagine the nerves of steel you have to be here to talk about all this and made it to the other side of such a tense family situation. What you were saying with religion and how some people use it to legit sever away their empathy and humanity, hits home how it can be so much misinterpreted, how frustrating and hypocritical it feels when a religious person is legit being a less kind person because of religion even if core moral is to be kind and stuff. Damn.
I had the worst come out ever 😭 I'm ftm trans masc So yesterday my sister found my diary and read it all, EVERYTHING and everyone in my family hates me I'm 16 and they won't ever let me move out I'm from Pakistan and none of my friends support me as well, ever since that day my sister's have been emotionally abusing me and making me cry all day, not accepting me and it feels horrible.... I'm stuck with no option at all.
My family is religious as well. Most of them are Christian. It's always sad if people use their religion as an excuse to judge others who have different experiences in life. It doesn't go against Allah to be who he created you to be. He made LGBT. Notice how people who judge refuse to believe this, and believe people are capable of controlling other people's natural impulses. It was engraved into every atom for trans and cis men to be men, trans and cis women to be women, for gay people to be gay, bisexuals to be bi, etc. None of these are physical limitations since we are built to go beyond what is believed capable of us. It is simply who we are. It was Allah's way of making no error. People are transphobic at times since we are the most like him, especially if we strive to achieve when others may be doubtful. Always remember, after two years - even if this person has lived with you prior, it takes training to mistake you for anything other than male. Even for a blind person or one that cannot hear.
i’m in the same situation that you were, i’m 15 and my muslim parents know i’m trans and have since i was 11/12, but they don’t accept me i really appreciate you speaking about your experience and letting other young trans people know they aren’t alone. i wish you nothing but the best of luck
so glad i found this video. i always felt like my experience was pretty different to how white / non-religious trans people talk about their experience so im glad im not alone. the only thing for me is that i am an only child, and my parents have always felt like my best friends, so the idea of coming out just feels so painful to me
Im a girl been mistaken as a boy a couple of times online. I dont feel girly and makeup was just weird. Im also polytheist. Just had a recent onslought of dyphoria and panic attacked over it. Im still in denial.
Guess what lesbian butch women don’t like makeup and they are still women. Many girls are tomboys, but they are still girls. It’s very sexist for you to think that girls and women only like girly things. Girls are diverse, they can be strong like Leila Ali, or fast like Shelly Ann price, or elegant like Audrey Hepburn, or charming and extremely feminine like Mary line, and courageous like Harriet Tubman.there is no one way to be a girl. Feminists fought for the diversity of women to be acknowledged. Please stop the regressive belief that girls are girly and love makeup, most don’, and just because a boy likes pink and makeup it does not mean he’s a girl.
Thanks for sharing. I came out in a similar situation, and the family has yet to come around. I was afraid this would happen but since I’ve dissociated with them (mostly), I’ve been much happier. Surround yourself with those who truly support you and you won’t regret it!
this video was so important for me to watch. im going through something so similar with my nigerian, christian parents. if i go on t, i may never be able to go back to nigeria, and my folks are no help at all. but ty for making this. i feel like if u ended up ok, i might be alright in a few years too :)
Thanku for making this video. Hi isaac, if u need anyone to talk to im all ears. A person close to me went to a similar situation, arab muslim coming out bad reaction. I know im just a stranger, but if it gets too much & u wake up and just want to vent to someone im here (a two way dialogue at least)
idk why the youtube algorithm decided to show me this 3 year old video, but im glad it did, from this transwoman to you, I hope your doing well, and I hope your family situation has gotten better
Parents love their child no matter what religion …though your mother is having a challenging time accepting you she still makes food for you when you’re visiting. She does love and care about you
im south asian moving to uni this september (inshaAllah) and came out yesterday.. im just sitting here and taking what they say until i can be a bit more independent :/ like you i only mentioned the parts i cant physically hide and im just hoping home life gets better. i havent seen any extended family yet and they want me to continue to wear the hijab around them even if i dont elsewhere and im just feeling a bit lost. (doesnt help im in the middle of exam season now) theyre very insistent that im being selfish and i should not act on my impulsions which has made me second guess myself a bit but i already feel so much better and wish i didnt have to choose between my community and me being able to live
Thanks for making this video, i am in a very similar situation, an egyptian living in england with a very orthodox christian family who i know aren't going to be accepting so i relate to this a lot. I relate a lot to the leg and body hair thing, my mum keeps pressuring me every day to shave it when i dont want to. I also relate to the fact that im struggling so hard with being christian but i have to pretend to be anyway. Im not out yet and i dont plan to until im out of the house, but i am kind of watching these videos to be prepared for if they accidently find out, and this does make it kind of reassuring, so thank you.
This is such a great video, thank you. Thanks for sharing your experiences of coming out and transitioning, this will help a lot of people. I am sorry about your parents, but glad to hear some related people were accepting. My family is the type who watches LGBTQ+ tv but insults real life LGBTQ+ people from all backgrounds, so I can relate to having an unfair parents.
Much support to you. You seem to be doing great. I am trans-questioning mtf and I have a muslim friend, also trans, going through some of this with their mother. It's not easy...even my atheist, liberal parents struggle coming to terms with it. Sort of supportive on a superficial level, though I think that is gradually transforming into a more heartfelt, emotional support. It takes time. Wishing you patience and much happiness in the interim.
I’ve taken the stance that religion or not some of my relatives won’t accept it, (some are religious some aren’t but it’s mostly Christian/catholic beliefs) I’m aware a few may be acceptable of it, I think anyone should take this stance when they are in this situation cause you can’t change them, or their beliefs.
@@boss-fh6oz yes of course. God created man and woman, that is the identity given to us. That is the natural order that it is supposed to be. I understand you may think it is a choice but in God’s truth you are being lied to about your identity. The truth is that whatever God creates the devil wants to pervert it, even if it seems harmless. You cannot “feel” whether you are a man or a woman, it’s just the way God designed you. I hope you can someday have the revelation of this. Let me know if you would like to know anything else!
@@KimberlyLovesJesus- Trust me, I already had my revelation a long time ago and I feel very close to God. I'm just usually curious about why people think about things in a certain way. "God created man and woman, that is the identity given to us" I'm a binary trans man, so this statement doesn't really affect me. My gender identity is male and has always been that way. This statement does affect gender fluid, agender, and non-binary people though, who all EXIST and are VALID. Let me ask you something; in the bible, it was written that God created day and night. Does that mean that DAWN and DUSK don't exist? If they do exist, then all the groups of people I have mentioned exist too. "I understand you may think it is a choice" I think WHAT is a choice? I literally said in my previous comment that being trans is NOT a choice. We actually wish it was a choice because then most of us wouldn't have chosen it. It is obviously very difficult being trans, but again WE HAVE NO CHOICE if we truly want to live authentically. As a Christian, you probably know that lying is a sin. We don't want to lie to ourselves and the world forever, hence we decide to live as our true selves. "but in God’s truth, you are being lied to about your identity" Nobody is lying to anyone about anything. I knew I wasn't a girl since I was about 4 years old. Nobody told me that. I knew it myself. The last thing we want is to lie to others about their gender identity. Because we know exactly how horrible that feels. "The truth is that whatever God creates the devil wants to pervert it, even if it seems harmless." God created me trans and it had nothing to do with the devil. I sure wish sometimes that he created me cis but I believe he had a purpose for creating me this way. I have complete faith in him. "You cannot “feel” whether you are a man or a woman, it’s just the way God designed you." "Feel" is just the simplest word we use to describe it. It is obviously a lot more complicated than that. The other simplest way to put it is - gender identity is between your ears, while sex is between your legs. Gender identity is more about someone's mental psychology and less about their bodies. "I hope you can someday have the revelation of this" As I said earlier, I already had my revelation a long time ago. And no, it has nothing to do with whatever you are saying. God would never want me to live a lie. He knows that for anyone to be closer to him they have to be as authentic as possible. He knows that to love him and others, I have to love myself first. And he knows I can't love myself if I'm not BEING myself. That's my revelation. And that's what I'll keep standing by. Focusing on living authentically so as to love myself better and ultimately love others and him better. You don't have to believe in any of this, that's completely up to you. Just know that everyone has their own relationship with God and you have no right to say who is a true Christian and who is not. Peace!
@@boss-fh6oz Sorry I messed up with my typing. I meant to say that I understand it may not feel like a choice. From what I can tell, I know that it’s not something that you can decide to stop, just like myself I don’t want to sin but it is my sinful nature do it naturally! However, God has declared His ways holy and separate from the world, so if you want to live for God we cannot live the opposite to His commands. With being transgender, it is the devil that plants these lies into your mind. A lot of us don’t recognize when the devil is lying to us because we are spiritually blind. When you are a believer you stand on God’s truth and what He says about you. God did not create you this way because being transgender is not in God’s image, in His word He says we are made in His image. And yes, no relationship with God is the exact same but you cannot twist it to fit your lifestyle. With all due respect and honesty, I know you can’t change overnight and only God can change your heart, but you cannot live contrary to God’s word and claim to be a christian. If I were to celebrate these beliefs of yours I would not be loving you. These are not my opinions but God’s word. I have my own sins as well that I wish God would take away from me but we can only change by the renewal of our minds through reading the bible. You have a lot of made up beliefs about God that are not biblical here. God bless you beloved, thanks for talking with me
I came out in a way 1 month ago. like ı said ım more comfortable with gettin refering as a boy. my mom and step dad just said okay and all. my mom was kinda bothered but didnt comment that much. they still refers me as a 'daughter' and 'girl'. honestly I was still questioning if ı was really trans for a while but when they refered me in this way it really made me feel bad. good thing that ım more certain that ım trans, bad thing they are kinda ignoring the fact.
isaaac thank you so much for sharing your story. You are really compassionate and intelligent for having managed the most difficult moments so well when you were still a young undergrad. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I am going through something similar -- even though my parents are not religious, they have chosen to be conservative bigots.
were with you isacc thanks for sharing im pleased your so much happier iv been on hormones 12 years it just gets better and better best wishes for the future ps im ftm and i love being trans x
It‘s hard to be ftm in a culture where everything weak can be a reason for you to not be a real man or a man at all, even for men male assigned at birth. //TW vent, transphobia My Parents are both muslime, but they come from different cultures. My Mom is European and half turkish but her turkish dad abandoned her at a young age, so she was raised in a white culture. She was always more free spirited than my Dad. My Dad grew up in Tunisia and more conservative. Anyways skipping the drama. I don’t have any contact with my dad anymore since he said I chose to be white. He thinks being gay and all lgbtq stuff is white people stuff. Now I don’t have any connections to my culture anymore, since I didn’t learn the language while I was young, my dad, the only person who could teach me, was in prison . He told me again and again that there is no place for me in Tunisia. And when I try to find something abt lgbtq people in Tunisia all I see is loneliness and sadness. So now I’m stuck her cussing out my white side in me, cussing me out in his place now that he’s gone. My half brother (Also half white and half Tunisian, but from a different dad) Made fun of me and thought and also told me I was weird and delusional. My Mom also doesn’t believe me that I’m trans, it’s just a phase of me.(I‘m 21) I feel like a clown, I feel deeply ashamed and like a clown. I went back into closet. I don’t have trans bipoc friends, so for some reason I internalized… being trans is really a white people thing. Something weird. Even when I don’t see other trans people like that, it’s just myself who isn’t allowed. Idk. Now I sit here.. with that shameful “white” freedom, alone, back in the closet. I miss Tunisia. I‘m always thinking abt going back to tunisia, making a place for myself there, putting down my own roots, I think about learning the language, but then I give up remembering that Over there there is „no space“ for smn like me, i have no tunisian friends or family i could talk too, he made it clear that everything i am is haram. And I never share these thoughts because I‘m whitepassing and at least my life is not in danger, at least he just cut me off and didn’t beat me, like in other peoples storys with conservative parents. My Father and ancestors been through much worse, i should stop „making up problems“ and use the opportunity that I am on European Land, get a good job, study, make all that fleeing from poverty and violence of my ancestors worth it… Idk, does anyone understand/ have similar feelings? Or am i just whining lol
I was thinking about coming out as non binary to my family but I have heard them talk bad things abt trans people but I was thinking about coming out when my cousin was over because I would feel more comfortable with someone with me while I’m coming out well I’ll probably come out in summer anyone got tips what I can start the conversation about when I come out
im 13 and i feel like i am too young to be feeling like a trans and i know for sure that my dad won’t like me as a son, im not sure of my mom because at some topics she asked me if i felt like a boy but i don’t have the guts to tell her.
I hope that my wish will come true and I will leave my country, and at that time I will be on the run and call my family to confess to them, but I will never see them again.
i tried to come out to my parents two years ago and they were just so i wouldnt say unsupportive just wanted me not to be like this and they were this is faze kids dont stop being gender fluid until like 16 and there was i could i have presented masculine all my life and im sick of living like this so i have to tell them what do i do
firstly i would say don't do anything independently until you're 18, and in the meantime while you wait just try and have that conversation again and say that nothing has changed, you still feel the same way, and that you'd really appreciate their support! let them know you want to support them back and you're open to questions. you know it's not a phase because the more time passes, the more it becomes a need!
@@isaaaac hi Isaac, I’m having a problem :( since I was a child, I was feeling like a woman but born in a male body. I was always using my mother her make up and everyone was always mad at me to not use it next time. At the age of 12, I was trying to act as a “Male” until now. I’m 18 now and I still feel the same. Since I’m acting like a “male” to family, they don’t see problem inside me. However, it’s to freaking hard to act any longer since I’m always home, I’m having no friends to talk about it and I’m feeling so depressed being in home 24/7. I kept everything secret to my parents about school since I didn’t like hanging out with boys. I was always thinking of suicide to let my family not shame. However, now I changed my mind since there is a option to get a happy live, which is transitioning into a female. What would you recommend me? Can you give any tips what to do? Because my father is always thinking I love girls (He’s always taking sexually about it) while I’m acting that I love it aswel but from inside I’m like 🤢 I have littarly no clue what to do. If you’re able to give tips, I appreciate it ❤️
@@queenshit1818 Hey, I really recommend looking on some forums or something like r/MTF or r/trans on reddit where you can get some tips from people who feel the same way at all different stages in their journey, so I'm sure you'll be able to find some help there. There's also plenty of videos here on TH-cam from trans women who discuss being on Estrogen or passing tips or coming out tips. Really I'm just gonna parrot what Isaac said in this video which is to try to form a safe support network of people that you know will have your back should your coming out not be well-received by your family, and if you think it might put you in danger then I'd say try to hold off coming out until you're more independent, which I know is easier said than done because I came out several times since I was 14 but unfortunately I was dismissed up until 18 when I was finally accepted. Pretty much I just recommend doing some research about it if you haven't already, like local gender services or LGBT+ groups in your area if you have that kind of thing. If you're socially anxious then you could do a lot of that online instead, there are LGBT+ discord servers where you can connect with people like you. It's very brave of you to be thinking of accepting yourself for who you are rather than ending yourself, I've been there myself but now that I'm out as myself etc I'm so much happier and don't struggle with that kind of thinking anymore. I hope you're ok
Im wishing you and everyone else good holidays and healing. I came out ten years ago and im not talking to a lot of family including my parents. It's ok ive made my own family and i wanted to say that you can make your own family. You don't owe anyone to box yourself up, just be safe and get out. If they accept you later great if not then thats their loss.❤
Hey! So I know ow it’s been 3 years since you posted this lmao, but I’m no where near 18 but I’m scared my school will out me to my homophobic parents, if you would have any advice I would appreciate that lol
@@SkyeID I too suffer from gender dysphoria from my early childhood...I am a 39year Old biologically woman married to a man and I still feel that I should have been born male..my brain doesn't recognize my female anatomy... However, I have never been a lesbian,I have always liked men, since my early childhood... but I have always felt that I am a trans guy or a non binary person in fact
@@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ gender is not biological. It's a social construct. Genitals don't equal gender. If you identify as a man, then you are a man, regardless of what anatomy you have, or what gender label society has placed on you.
@@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ i know it must suck having a body that you don’t agree with or a body that doesn’t match what you think yourself as. For me it was also frustrating but coming to terms with my gender and how I present myself made it easier to deal with. I’m also biologically a woman but I’ve had dysphoria when I compare myself to cis men, I’d envy their figure and the parts I envied about them, I couldn’t actually change about myself so I looked towards finding a way to make myself comfortable in my body instead. I learned you don’t have to look a certain way to be a trans guy. You don’t have go look a certain way go be non binary. What matters is that you are comfortable in your body. Your gender can be whatever you think yourself as. As the comment before yours said, sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things. You can be a trans man and like men. You can be a trans man and like women too.
I was afraid of coming out as gay to my father (really respected muslim within the community, he was actually president of a mosque). Surprisingly, he was acceptive. This was after 15 years of living in hiding, mind you. But you know what. After I got what I thought I wanted all along, I realized the void was still there. That all-consuming hole within my chest was still ever-so-present. And the thing is: it is not acceptance, or transitioning, or having a gay relationship that will make you happy. It is like building a house on sand. It will eventually crumble. After years of living within the LGBTQIA+ community I’ve come to realize none of them are happy, and the same can be said about gen z. This is the generation with the most amount of liberty in regards to identity, to sexuality and even drugs. And yet it has the highest rates of suicide and depression. I can bet that even though you’ve transitioned and had top surgery, you are not happy, nor satisfied. And you probably think it’s because xyz is still not crossed of your list. But in reality it is because you are looking for the wrong things to give you a purpose in life. Only Jesus can give you joy. I tell you this after 27 years of suffering and despair. Gender is not the reason you’re unhappy. It is because God has put a hole in your heart that only He can fill. And until you realize it is Him who can (fully) satisfy you, you’ll chase after vanities. I say this in love. You are a beautiful human being. May God bless you.
wow so you're an LGBT whisperer and can tell whether one is happy or isn't and your personal obviously limited experience is universal and should be accepted as fact automatically, the very small sample of LGBT people you've met ALLEGEDLY is sufficient to make broad strokes of generalisation about all LGBT individiuals, got it 👍 Quick questions tho, are all pre gen Z and heterosexuals not to forget "Christians" happy and 'suicide and depression' free? coz if so I wanna smoke what you're smoking too. Also sorry for the holes in your heart whatever those are, but this world doesn't revolve around you hence just because you had them doesn't mean everyone did, stop projecting
I'm black, and it's definitely like "we're just not gonna talk about it at all whatsoever" when it comes to my transness. They don't use my pronouns, and let's just say that I won't hold my breath. Instead, they go through the trouble of constructing sentences about me that don't include ANY pronouns. Every. Single. Day. Sure, it would be easier to say they/them, but for my parents, linguistic gymnastics is preferable to acknowledging that I'm trans.
"it's so hard. It's so confusing!"
Yet, you'll still blame that on white people.
That would be very tiring for them.
@@JadeoftheGladeA large amount of the black community is known to be quite anti-LGBT, but acknowledging that isn't allowed.
THEY suck.
Im transgender to and I suspect my parents are very homophobic and transphobic. I have a feeling that they might disown me when I come out to them. It might sound shocking to them and I totally understand why they wont accept it. You are very brave and I thank you for posting this. This means a lot.
Lgbtq is not allowed in Islam you can not blame those parents it hurts them alot,U are the one who is homophobic
I would disown you to
That’s horrible.. hating your child for being something they can’t control… that’s not a real parent, I’m sorry you have to go through that.
@@Kendricklamarslawyer they can control it they are being stupid and hopping on a trend
@@Kendricklamarslawyer There are parents in Iran (if not Iraq) who killed their child after he came out as gay. Clearly, not all parents deserve to be parents.
I’m in tears right now. I’m 16, Pakistani. Same dynamic with mother and father. My mom is super fundamentalist while my dad is a bit more lenient in terms of pushing his beliefs, but still devote whatsoever. I just wanted to thank you so much for posting this. It means so much because i have not come across a single story of someone whose outcome has been similar to what my expectations for when i come out are like. I genuinely feel the first spark of home for my future in terms of my relationship with my parents because it’s only around a year and a half until i leave for uni and i know that it’s not long but i’ve been out to my friends since 2019 (since i was 13) and it feels like a week ago that i told myself for the first time that id figure it out later (what to do for my future). Just seeing you EXIST is so important to me i can’t explain it. I actually have hope for my future for the first time in a long while.
Sorry that was a bit of a ramble but the point i was trying to make was that the authenticity you put into this is genuinely such a breath of fresh air. Thank u so much again.
i'm so glad i was able to give you hope! it's never just you and you will get through it ❤️
I’m mtf and started transitioning already. Even though my dad doesn’t know. And mom is a devout Catholic and doesn’t acknowledge me but also doesn’t deny I exist or the situation exists. And this video was so informative and well done!
Lol, you can’t change your sex. You are still male.
oh woah good luck love yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@@Bibirallie keep crying
Are you okay now?
another comment but DUDE. ive never felt so seen despite not coming from a religious family. thank you for your bravery
words cannot express how grateful i am of this video for just existing-- im 14 and is in an almost exact same position that you were in when you were living with your parents and i am so, so happy that i found someone that actually understands what its like feeling so much negative emotions that i cant even put words on anymore and its just so relieving to me that you're being who you are and that it proves to me that i might actually have a chance to be who i am and not yeeting myself off the nearest tall building tomorrow. thank you so much
you're a kid...don't mutilate your body...you only have one and there is no going back...
@@midnull6009no shit. I’ve “mutilated” my body because I can’t get any surgery. Waiting even 3 more years to get on a waiting list is killing me.
I started my journey at the age of 14 now I'm 16 and came out to my mom 1 month ago. Everything is gonna be okay people and changes need some time. I'm using a binder for now but since I'm in the last grade I can't focus on exercising and stuff. I hope I had more slim thighs, chest and more muscular appearance. We all have different kinds of dysphoria as trans people and the dysphoria won't stay with us forever, we just need some time. I hope including you, we can all get what we want from our loves and live happily
pretending to be something you're not to the people closest to you for YEARS is a daunting and stressful task, I relate to you buddy and wish you nothing but the best of luck ❤
i wish i'd seen this before coming out lmao, my parents are also arab and very religious (christians). i wish u all the best man :)
thank u for posting this dude, seriously. i, personally, feel like i’ve learned a lot from this. im a trans teen and ive known since i was abt 12 or so but, ive been waiting to come out to my family for a while now. i don’t know when to do it but now i think im just gonna wait it out till after graduation. my friends and cousins all know it’s just my immediate family that doesn’t which sucks. i think i’d also try to have a support system as well since my family isn’t exactly accepting (mostly my dad). anyways, thank you for this ive learned a lot and im glad you’ve found a happier life dude :)
Genuinely - Thank you for this. I'm in my mid-30s and transitioning (on HRT) without telling my parents. It's going to be a real shitshow when it goes down and I'm happy to know I'm not alone in this. There are so many cheerful coming out videos, it's kind of refreshing to hear about one that is stressful because my family is extremely homophobic so the chances they accept me and who I am is very, very low. It will be a relief for it to be done with. Their reaction is their problem, not mine.
Edit: I posted this comment 10 months ago and since then I am over a year on HRT. They never use my pronouns. My dad and brother have converted to Catholicism and really into repression which seems to be their coping mechanism. Their priest is openly homophobic and transphobic and they enjoy the church. We are going kind of no contact, since me and my husband (we are gay) do not feel safe around my birth family.
thanks for this
Im not religious in the slightest anymore. I Did used to be, until more nuanced things happened around me. Sometimes religion gets in the way of understanding and compassion for people, even within the family. If everything happens for a reason, then I believe you are a blessing granted for people around you to open their eyes to new ideas and concepts, that ultimately makes everyone happier. I wish the best for you and your family.
I feel the same, it feels like my parents chose religion above me
Man this is such a great video. I'm currently trying to make playlist for parents and kids at workers center I am part of, so glad to find a video which gets into complexity of unaccepting parents and different cultural and religous stuff. My parents are pretty accepting and dude I still was crying at the smallest mess up or misread sign of unacceptance, I can't even imagine the nerves of steel you have to be here to talk about all this and made it to the other side of such a tense family situation. What you were saying with religion and how some people use it to legit sever away their empathy and humanity, hits home how it can be so much misinterpreted, how frustrating and hypocritical it feels when a religious person is legit being a less kind person because of religion even if core moral is to be kind and stuff. Damn.
I had the worst come out ever 😭 I'm ftm trans masc
So yesterday my sister found my diary and read it all, EVERYTHING and everyone in my family hates me I'm 16 and they won't ever let me move out I'm from Pakistan and none of my friends support me as well, ever since that day my sister's have been emotionally abusing me and making me cry all day, not accepting me and it feels horrible.... I'm stuck with no option at all.
Its cool that a lot of muslims are fairly accepting
They are weak faithed muslims, so they have no clue what is allowed or not.
its not they are not being religious im saying this as s muslim lgbtq is haram in islam
i have orthodox jewish parents and oh my god I needed this video
My family is religious as well. Most of them are Christian. It's always sad if people use their religion as an excuse to judge others who have different experiences in life. It doesn't go against Allah to be who he created you to be. He made LGBT. Notice how people who judge refuse to believe this, and believe people are capable of controlling other people's natural impulses. It was engraved into every atom for trans and cis men to be men, trans and cis women to be women, for gay people to be gay, bisexuals to be bi, etc. None of these are physical limitations since we are built to go beyond what is believed capable of us. It is simply who we are. It was Allah's way of making no error. People are transphobic at times since we are the most like him, especially if we strive to achieve when others may be doubtful.
Always remember, after two years - even if this person has lived with you prior, it takes training to mistake you for anything other than male. Even for a blind person or one that cannot hear.
Based
i’m in the same situation that you were, i’m 15 and my muslim parents know i’m trans and have since i was 11/12, but they don’t accept me
i really appreciate you speaking about your experience and letting other young trans people know they aren’t alone. i wish you nothing but the best of luck
I'd have been happy if you were my child and told me. You have my support and love for all you have gone through and much that you go through.
It's very important to hear about having mutual respect with supportive parents. Sometimes, that's all you can do.
Thanks for the reminder
so glad i found this video. i always felt like my experience was pretty different to how white / non-religious trans people talk about their experience so im glad im not alone. the only thing for me is that i am an only child, and my parents have always felt like my best friends, so the idea of coming out just feels so painful to me
Im a girl been mistaken as a boy a couple of times online. I dont feel girly and makeup was just weird. Im also polytheist. Just had a recent onslought of dyphoria and panic attacked over it. Im still in denial.
Guess what lesbian butch women don’t like makeup and they are still women. Many girls are tomboys, but they are still girls. It’s very sexist for you to think that girls and women only like girly things. Girls are diverse, they can be strong like Leila Ali, or fast like Shelly Ann price, or elegant like Audrey Hepburn, or charming and extremely feminine like Mary line, and courageous like Harriet Tubman.there is no one way to be a girl. Feminists fought for the diversity of women to be acknowledged. Please stop the regressive belief that girls are girly and love makeup, most don’, and just because a boy likes pink and makeup it does not mean he’s a girl.
Uhhh just curious, how'd it go?
Thanks for sharing. I came out in a similar situation, and the family has yet to come around. I was afraid this would happen but since I’ve dissociated with them (mostly), I’ve been much happier. Surround yourself with those who truly support you and you won’t regret it!
this video was so important for me to watch. im going through something so similar with my nigerian, christian parents. if i go on t, i may never be able to go back to nigeria, and my folks are no help at all. but ty for making this. i feel like if u ended up ok, i might be alright in a few years too :)
Very strong and Brave...pulling one's own strings!!!
Thanku for making this video. Hi isaac, if u need anyone to talk to im all ears. A person close to me went to a similar situation, arab muslim coming out bad reaction. I know im just a stranger, but if it gets too much & u wake up and just want to vent to someone im here (a two way dialogue at least)
idk why the youtube algorithm decided to show me this 3 year old video, but im glad it did, from this transwoman to you, I hope your doing well, and I hope your family situation has gotten better
Parents love their child no matter what religion …though your mother is having a challenging time accepting you she still makes food for you when you’re visiting. She does love and care about you
im south asian moving to uni this september (inshaAllah) and came out yesterday.. im just sitting here and taking what they say until i can be a bit more independent :/ like you i only mentioned the parts i cant physically hide and im just hoping home life gets better. i havent seen any extended family yet and they want me to continue to wear the hijab around them even if i dont elsewhere and im just feeling a bit lost. (doesnt help im in the middle of exam season now)
theyre very insistent that im being selfish and i should not act on my impulsions which has made me second guess myself a bit but i already feel so much better and wish i didnt have to choose between my community and me being able to live
It's so related with my life..
Thanks for making this video, i am in a very similar situation, an egyptian living in england with a very orthodox christian family who i know aren't going to be accepting so i relate to this a lot.
I relate a lot to the leg and body hair thing, my mum keeps pressuring me every day to shave it when i dont want to. I also relate to the fact that im struggling so hard with being christian but i have to pretend to be anyway. Im not out yet and i dont plan to until im out of the house, but i am kind of watching these videos to be prepared for if they accidently find out, and this does make it kind of reassuring, so thank you.
Im not gonna tell them. In my eperience christians can be way more extremeist. I found some muslim women channels and they're pretty progressive.
thank you for this video, i feel way less alone after hearing it and reading the comments
This is such a great video, thank you. Thanks for sharing your experiences of coming out and transitioning, this will help a lot of people. I am sorry about your parents, but glad to hear some related people were accepting.
My family is the type who watches LGBTQ+ tv but insults real life LGBTQ+ people from all backgrounds, so I can relate to having an unfair parents.
Much support to you. You seem to be doing great. I am trans-questioning mtf and I have a muslim friend, also trans, going through some of this with their mother. It's not easy...even my atheist, liberal parents struggle coming to terms with it. Sort of supportive on a superficial level, though I think that is gradually transforming into a more heartfelt, emotional support. It takes time. Wishing you patience and much happiness in the interim.
I’ve taken the stance that religion or not some of my relatives won’t accept it, (some are religious some aren’t but it’s mostly Christian/catholic beliefs) I’m aware a few may be acceptable of it, I think anyone should take this stance when they are in this situation cause you can’t change them, or their beliefs.
It doesn’t make sense for a christian to be accepting of something that is wrong, then they wouldn’t be a true christian who truly believed
@@KimberlyLovesJesus- Can you explain where in Christianity it has been said that being trans (which is not a choice) is wrong?
@@boss-fh6oz yes of course. God created man and woman, that is the identity given to us. That is the natural order that it is supposed to be. I understand you may think it is a choice but in God’s truth you are being lied to about your identity. The truth is that whatever God creates the devil wants to pervert it, even if it seems harmless. You cannot “feel” whether you are a man or a woman, it’s just the way God designed you. I hope you can someday have the revelation of this. Let me know if you would like to know anything else!
@@KimberlyLovesJesus- Trust me, I already had my revelation a long time ago and I feel very close to God. I'm just usually curious about why people think about things in a certain way.
"God created man and woman, that is the identity given to us"
I'm a binary trans man, so this statement doesn't really affect me. My gender identity is male and has always been that way. This statement does affect gender fluid, agender, and non-binary people though, who all EXIST and are VALID. Let me ask you something; in the bible, it was written that God created day and night. Does that mean that DAWN and DUSK don't exist? If they do exist, then all the groups of people I have mentioned exist too.
"I understand you may think it is a choice"
I think WHAT is a choice? I literally said in my previous comment that being trans is NOT a choice. We actually wish it was a choice because then most of us wouldn't have chosen it. It is obviously very difficult being trans, but again WE HAVE NO CHOICE if we truly want to live authentically. As a Christian, you probably know that lying is a sin. We don't want to lie to ourselves and the world forever, hence we decide to live as our true selves.
"but in God’s truth, you are being lied to about your identity"
Nobody is lying to anyone about anything. I knew I wasn't a girl since I was about 4 years old. Nobody told me that. I knew it myself. The last thing we want is to lie to others about their gender identity. Because we know exactly how horrible that feels.
"The truth is that whatever God creates the devil wants to pervert it, even if it seems harmless."
God created me trans and it had nothing to do with the devil. I sure wish sometimes that he created me cis but I believe he had a purpose for creating me this way. I have complete faith in him.
"You cannot “feel” whether you are a man or a woman, it’s just the way God designed you."
"Feel" is just the simplest word we use to describe it. It is obviously a lot more complicated than that. The other simplest way to put it is - gender identity is between your ears, while sex is between your legs. Gender identity is more about someone's mental psychology and less about their bodies.
"I hope you can someday have the revelation of this"
As I said earlier, I already had my revelation a long time ago. And no, it has nothing to do with whatever you are saying. God would never want me to live a lie. He knows that for anyone to be closer to him they have to be as authentic as possible. He knows that to love him and others, I have to love myself first. And he knows I can't love myself if I'm not BEING myself. That's my revelation. And that's what I'll keep standing by. Focusing on living authentically so as to love myself better and ultimately love others and him better.
You don't have to believe in any of this, that's completely up to you. Just know that everyone has their own relationship with God and you have no right to say who is a true Christian and who is not.
Peace!
@@boss-fh6oz Sorry I messed up with my typing. I meant to say that I understand it may not feel like a choice. From what I can tell, I know that it’s not something that you can decide to stop, just like myself I don’t want to sin but it is my sinful nature do it naturally! However, God has declared His ways holy and separate from the world, so if you want to live for God we cannot live the opposite to His commands. With being transgender, it is the devil that plants these lies into your mind. A lot of us don’t recognize when the devil is lying to us because we are spiritually blind. When you are a believer you stand on God’s truth and what He says about you. God did not create you this way because being transgender is not in God’s image, in His word He says we are made in His image. And yes, no relationship with God is the exact same but you cannot twist it to fit your lifestyle. With all due respect and honesty, I know you can’t change overnight and only God can change your heart, but you cannot live contrary to God’s word and claim to be a christian. If I were to celebrate these beliefs of yours I would not be loving you. These are not my opinions but God’s word. I have my own sins as well that I wish God would take away from me but we can only change by the renewal of our minds through reading the bible. You have a lot of made up beliefs about God that are not biblical here.
God bless you beloved, thanks for talking with me
I came out in a way 1 month ago. like ı said ım more comfortable with gettin refering as a boy. my mom and step dad just said okay and all. my mom was kinda bothered but didnt comment that much. they still refers me as a 'daughter' and 'girl'. honestly I was still questioning if ı was really trans for a while but when they refered me in this way it really made me feel bad. good thing that ım more certain that ım trans, bad thing they are kinda ignoring the fact.
isaaac thank you so much for sharing your story. You are really compassionate and intelligent for having managed the most difficult moments so well when you were still a young undergrad. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I am going through something similar -- even though my parents are not religious, they have chosen to be conservative bigots.
were with you isacc thanks for sharing im pleased your so much happier iv been on hormones 12 years it just gets better and better best wishes for the future ps im ftm and i love being trans x
Sir, thank you for sharing your story.
sorry about the spelling isaaaac x
Elegantly put handsome
It‘s hard to be ftm in a culture where everything weak can be a reason for you to not be a real man or a man at all, even for men male assigned at birth.
//TW vent, transphobia
My Parents are both muslime, but they come from different cultures. My Mom is European and half turkish but her turkish dad abandoned her at a young age, so she was raised in a white culture. She was always more free spirited than my Dad. My Dad grew up in Tunisia and more conservative. Anyways skipping the drama. I don’t have any contact with my dad anymore since he said I chose to be white. He thinks being gay and all lgbtq stuff is white people stuff. Now I don’t have any connections to my culture anymore, since I didn’t learn the language while I was young, my dad, the only person who could teach me, was in prison . He told me again and again that there is no place for me in Tunisia. And when I try to find something abt lgbtq people in Tunisia all I see is loneliness and sadness. So now I’m stuck her cussing out my white side in me, cussing me out in his place now that he’s gone. My half brother (Also half white and half Tunisian, but from a different dad) Made fun of me and thought and also told me I was weird and delusional. My Mom also doesn’t believe me that I’m trans, it’s just a phase of me.(I‘m 21) I feel like a clown, I feel deeply ashamed and like a clown. I went back into closet. I don’t have trans bipoc friends, so for some reason I internalized… being trans is really a white people thing. Something weird. Even when I don’t see other trans people like that, it’s just myself who isn’t allowed. Idk. Now I sit here.. with that shameful “white” freedom, alone, back in the closet. I miss Tunisia. I‘m always thinking abt going back to tunisia, making a place for myself there, putting down my own roots, I think about learning the language, but then I give up remembering that Over there there is „no space“ for smn like me, i have no tunisian friends or family i could talk too, he made it clear that everything i am is haram. And I never share these thoughts because I‘m whitepassing and at least my life is not in danger, at least he just cut me off and didn’t beat me, like in other peoples storys with conservative parents. My Father and ancestors been through much worse, i should stop „making up problems“ and use the opportunity that I am on European Land, get a good job, study, make all that fleeing from poverty and violence of my ancestors worth it… Idk, does anyone understand/ have similar feelings? Or am i just whining lol
If they say “”vent” and “Tw” there under the age of 13
I was thinking about coming out as non binary to my family but I have heard them talk bad things abt trans people but I was thinking about coming out when my cousin was over because I would feel more comfortable with someone with me while I’m coming out well I’ll probably come out in summer anyone got tips what I can start the conversation about when I come out
im 13 and i feel like i am too young to be feeling like a trans and i know for sure that my dad won’t like me as a son, im not sure of my mom because at some topics she asked me if i felt like a boy but i don’t have the guts to tell her.
i feel that but my parents are religious...
I hope that my wish will come true and I will leave my country, and at that time I will be on the run and call my family to confess to them, but I will never see them again.
i tried to come out to my parents two years ago and they were just so i wouldnt say unsupportive just wanted me not to be like this and they were this is faze kids dont stop being gender fluid until like 16 and there was i could i have presented masculine all my life and im sick of living like this so i have to tell them what do i do
firstly i would say don't do anything independently until you're 18, and in the meantime while you wait just try and have that conversation again and say that nothing has changed, you still feel the same way, and that you'd really appreciate their support! let them know you want to support them back and you're open to questions. you know it's not a phase because the more time passes, the more it becomes a need!
@@isaaaac hi Isaac, I’m having a problem :( since I was a child, I was feeling like a woman but born in a male body. I was always using my mother her make up and everyone was always mad at me to not use it next time.
At the age of 12, I was trying to act as a “Male” until now. I’m 18 now and I still feel the same. Since I’m acting like a “male” to family, they don’t see problem inside me. However, it’s to freaking hard to act any longer since I’m always home, I’m having no friends to talk about it and I’m feeling so depressed being in home 24/7.
I kept everything secret to my parents about school since I didn’t like hanging out with boys. I was always thinking of suicide to let my family not shame. However, now I changed my mind since there is a option to get a happy live, which is transitioning into a female.
What would you recommend me? Can you give any tips what to do? Because my father is always thinking I love girls (He’s always taking sexually about it) while I’m acting that I love it aswel but from inside I’m like 🤢
I have littarly no clue what to do. If you’re able to give tips, I appreciate it ❤️
@@queenshit1818 Hey, I really recommend looking on some forums or something like r/MTF or r/trans on reddit where you can get some tips from people who feel the same way at all different stages in their journey, so I'm sure you'll be able to find some help there. There's also plenty of videos here on TH-cam from trans women who discuss being on Estrogen or passing tips or coming out tips. Really I'm just gonna parrot what Isaac said in this video which is to try to form a safe support network of people that you know will have your back should your coming out not be well-received by your family, and if you think it might put you in danger then I'd say try to hold off coming out until you're more independent, which I know is easier said than done because I came out several times since I was 14 but unfortunately I was dismissed up until 18 when I was finally accepted. Pretty much I just recommend doing some research about it if you haven't already, like local gender services or LGBT+ groups in your area if you have that kind of thing. If you're socially anxious then you could do a lot of that online instead, there are LGBT+ discord servers where you can connect with people like you. It's very brave of you to be thinking of accepting yourself for who you are rather than ending yourself, I've been there myself but now that I'm out as myself etc I'm so much happier and don't struggle with that kind of thinking anymore. I hope you're ok
Im wishing you and everyone else good holidays and healing. I came out ten years ago and im not talking to a lot of family including my parents. It's ok ive made my own family and i wanted to say that you can make your own family. You don't owe anyone to box yourself up, just be safe and get out. If they accept you later great if not then thats their loss.❤
*Finally 1K, we're here by 999views😅❤️🇹🇿🇺🇸🍾*
So so proud of uuu❤❤❤❤❤❤
my parents are hindu & never accepted me for being gay & now being trans :(
keep on going strong!!!
appreciated to see your experience thank you
Hey! So I know ow it’s been 3 years since you posted this lmao, but I’m no where near 18 but I’m scared my school will out me to my homophobic parents, if you would have any advice I would appreciate that lol
You are a beautiful soul!!! ❤
thanks for this man
Huge respect for you parents ❤❤❤
I read the lord of the rings, is sauron God?
Hairy leg homey still pre t.
Before realizing you were in fact trans guy,were you sexually
Attracted to girls or to boys?
sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things, and one doesn't necessarily affect the other.
@@SkyeID I too suffer from gender dysphoria from my early childhood...I am a 39year
Old biologically woman married to a man and I still feel that I should have been born male..my brain doesn't recognize my female anatomy... However, I have never been a lesbian,I have always liked men, since my early childhood... but I have always felt that I am a trans guy or a non binary person in fact
@@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ gender is not biological. It's a social construct. Genitals don't equal gender. If you identify as a man, then you are a man, regardless of what anatomy you have, or what gender label society has placed on you.
@@ΜαρίαΚοκόση-ε8δ i know it must suck having a body that you don’t agree with or a body that doesn’t match what you think yourself as. For me it was also frustrating but coming to terms with my gender and how I present myself made it easier to deal with. I’m also biologically a woman but I’ve had dysphoria when I compare myself to cis men, I’d envy their figure and the parts I envied about them, I couldn’t actually change about myself so I looked towards finding a way to make myself comfortable in my body instead. I learned you don’t have to look a certain way to be a trans guy. You don’t have go look a certain way go be non binary. What matters is that you are comfortable in your body. Your gender can be whatever you think yourself as.
As the comment before yours said, sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things. You can be a trans man and like men. You can be a trans man and like women too.
@@SkyeIDthen why did she get surgery and cross sex hormones if gender is social and not biological? You make zero sense as always
Lol .. same boat
🧡💛💙💚❤💜🤗
Bro looks like a bro, I say bro is bro, no doubt about it
I was afraid of coming out as gay to my father (really respected muslim within the community, he was actually president of a mosque). Surprisingly, he was acceptive. This was after 15 years of living in hiding, mind you.
But you know what. After I got what I thought I wanted all along, I realized the void was still there. That all-consuming hole within my chest was still ever-so-present. And the thing is: it is not acceptance, or transitioning, or having a gay relationship that will make you happy. It is like building a house on sand. It will eventually crumble.
After years of living within the LGBTQIA+ community I’ve come to realize none of them are happy, and the same can be said about gen z. This is the generation with the most amount of liberty in regards to identity, to sexuality and even drugs. And yet it has the highest rates of suicide and depression.
I can bet that even though you’ve transitioned and had top surgery, you are not happy, nor satisfied. And you probably think it’s because xyz is still not crossed of your list. But in reality it is because you are looking for the wrong things to give you a purpose in life.
Only Jesus can give you joy. I tell you this after 27 years of suffering and despair. Gender is not the reason you’re unhappy. It is because God has put a hole in your heart that only He can fill. And until you realize it is Him who can (fully) satisfy you, you’ll chase after vanities.
I say this in love. You are a beautiful human being. May God bless you.
wow so you're an LGBT whisperer and can tell whether one is happy or isn't and your personal obviously limited experience is universal and should be accepted as fact automatically, the very small sample of LGBT people you've met ALLEGEDLY is sufficient to make broad strokes of generalisation about all LGBT individiuals, got it 👍
Quick questions tho, are all pre gen Z and heterosexuals not to forget "Christians" happy and 'suicide and depression' free? coz if so I wanna smoke what you're smoking too. Also sorry for the holes in your heart whatever those are, but this world doesn't revolve around you hence just because you had them doesn't mean everyone did, stop projecting
What a load of crock.