I was academically successful in school; I was a national merit scholar in high school, made straight A's in AP classes, etc. Before I went off to university, my dad told me that he didn't know how I'd ever get married because I'd have to find someone smarter and more driven than me and that would be too hard... This was in the late '00s, and it kept coming up after that too. I ended up with a PhD in a STEM field, but my goodness were a lot of men really put off when they found out. It was a GREAT way to weed out men who didn't respect me. I am happily married now to an absolutely wonderful man who respects me for me.
@tylerbenderr I'd imagine someone who can't handle your "snark" would be a really boring partner for you; not everyone gets specific stuff like that to weed out options. My southern baptist upbrining saying it is a "blessing in disguise."
If someone feels insecure regarding the merits of their partner then WTF are they doing? Lying to ourselves, creating characters to 'attract' a mate is bizarre, you explained it well - being trapped as a character within a relationship is an elimination of fhe self. People will love you for you, these 'tricks' are bogus.
I am so sorry! As a sucessful female, IF you chose to get married you will be SO much healthier ❤ I am a Gen X with a MS in STEM, happily married, to a man who appreciate a very smart wife. And our daughters are extremely smart and STEM. They don't have to put up with toxic masculine people
I always think of this Ursula K Le Guin quote when i run into divine feminine nonsense online: "But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior - women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?"
exactly. its repackaging a lot of patriarchal beliefs that aren't as obviously harmful in the most appealing way possible to women bc we're all scared of global warming and capitalism. I think we take a lot of feminism for granted and what it won for us, and a lot of millennial and gen z women are flirting with actual tenants of patriarchy (minus the explicit violence and abuse that feminism thankfully removed for them) as an answer to this global uncertainty and fear
Girl you are so eloquent!! You really summarized everything wrong with this “movement” shockingly quickly. I love that you pointed out that many women are attracted to the “soft” lifestyle because we’re all suffering under capitalism and it can be appealing to seek a life where you don’t have to run the rat race just to survive.
My paternal grandma was a farm housewife back in the day. In the 1950s she got married in her late teens to a my grandpa, who was a very traditional farmer with a decent amount of money. My grandma spent her 20s and 30s living the life that these sort of women idolize: baking bread, feeding chickens, raising kids, sewing matching outfits for her children, all while living in an cute red farmhouse... however, she was miserable. This wasn't because of the work, she liked it and was very good at it. She was miserable because this lifestyle was dependent on a man who expected her to be subservient and docile. Her cottagecore life devolved into a very toxic and bitter marriage. Eventually when divorce became easier to obtain in the 1970s, she realized that she had to leave. She eventually went to college and got her P.A. license and discovered that she could still do things like bake bread and raise chickens without a man to provide for her. As much as I love the cottagecore aesthetic, it's not obtainable in it's pure form. I grew up on a farm, and my mom was a farm housewife. My parents aren't big believers in traditional gender roles, but it's what my mom wanted to do and my dad was able to make enough money at the time to make it work. Being a stay at home farm wife is not all roses: money gets tight, your husband has to work 10+ hours of the day during harvest leaving you to tend the house and kids alone, everything gets dirty quicker than you can clean it, sometimes you have to put a calf suffering from hypothermia in your bathroom, and your kids break practically everything in the house. After the 2008 recession, my mom ended up having to work part time as having one income just wasn't enough. Being able to not have a job that produces income is a privilege both today and in the past, and acting like women shouldn't/ haven't worked outside the home is such a stupid take. Also, as stated in the video, sometimes men will use women's financial dependency to be incredibly abusive (this happened to my oldest sister and thankfully she was able to get out of that marriage). Also, as a sidenote: as a bisexual I don't get the whole "masculine women and feminine men aren't attractive" as in the corners of the internet I've inhabited, there are plenty of queer and straight people who would die and kill for masculine women and feminine men.
As a bisexual woman myself...I can confirm that there's nothing hotter than femme men and masc women... It takes Guts to be your real self in the face of bullying and discrimination 🥵🤩
It’s interesting how y’all think there was another alternative back then, like there were no easy AC office jobs back then, and it’s not like y’all actually built anything so you just expect us to make society for you and just hand it over?
@@nobodythenobody9779what ? How does this have to do with the comment the op made and where did they give you the impression they wanted men to build stuff and work hard while women get to chill what are u talking about lol?😅
@@nobodythenobody9779 and you barely did anything to contribute to the current society. Wtf kind of logic are you trying to get at? "dA wOmEn dOn'T bUiLt aNyThInG" is getting oddly repetitive. Wait till you grow older or somehow become incapacitated and let's see if any man would feed you and wipe your ass.
“I am MANIFESTING that ABUNDANCE by asking The UNIVERSE…” Erm…. Yeah, no. I’m old and I’m old-school enough to still talk to or about God using He/Him pronouns…and I don’t like to ask for/demand a specific outcome for my personal desires and expectations.. However, the non-specific general vagueness of these TikTok, witchy girls, and some guys just “manifesting”their desire via a mental or “thought form” posted note shut out of a specific chakra sphincter towards said universe, and or your higher self self, even though most of these rudimentary lower self dark feminine types aren’t particularly high on anything other than the brand of their own mystique perhaps? Fringe cringe and ick. I live in the Great Lakes region Ohio specifically where we have a lot of silverfish, which is really not that silver not a fish. It’s more of a non-lethal centipede type thing that just mustaches around en masse in the damper summer months more than any other time I think although sometimes you know they’ll be the determined Lazarus that still most of the winter and rises up under your basement bathroom bathmat, neither silvery nor fishy, but still so very creepy nonetheless. I mentioned the silverfish because a memory sticks in my head of my brother, having to remove the waterbed of a tenant. He evicted from his house and it was in a basement bedroom, and we, along with another house made of his lifted up the semi flaccid bladder of the waterbed on which the evicted housemate had slept without sheets while eating barbecued chicken wings for many many months before the silverfish and other creatures became curious. Well, I am almost 50 now and this happened during college age, but I probably would have several more years ahead of me than I have now for what these riding dancing silverfish, having some kind of invertebrate convention under that water Bed did for my life expectancy. Utterly horrific and I’m not a person who gets eked out by insects and such very frequently, but that that was a lot a lot and the other house made who was helping with the procedure of removal, a few hours later when we were gathered at a local pub for our retelling of the cinematic and nightmarish encounter with these basement creatures, I remember he had come from a state like Delaware maybe New Hampshire so that it wasn’t quite as New England accent as my in-laws from Providence or My ex-boyfriend whose parents were absolute South Boston but the silverfish Wrangler did have a distinct way of speaking that made him seem more like a professor or an old man and a Stephen King story that was just wise and the rest of us were not yet even though we were all under the age of twenty five at that time… he turned to his girlfriend and said very earnestly and eloquently sounding like he might have been one of the Kennedy family members that were gone by the time I was born but lived on in Soundbites news clips that precious to “ask not what our country can do for us, but..,” in fact the guy kind of shared the same caricature, wavy hair, big teeth, sort of Kennedy appearance as he said: “And we flipped the wat-uh bed mattress only for us to encounter his ABUNDANCE of Silvuh-fish absolutely TEEEMING in the bed frame.” And so now that’s the story of how I can never hear that word without somewhere in the back of my mind seeing that whole real unfurl in my memory. Which is why if they really believe they have the power to just make things happen by thinking some of these little witches best to be careful and be very specific of them don’t seem to specify for an abundance of a certain type of item… maybe I’ve just been exposed to a lot of European Catholic lore and some urban and rural legends/myths/cautionary tales and some literature along the lines of THE MONKEYS PAW and being careful what one might wish for? there are plenty of abundances that allow me to be grateful for the deficit of such that I am blessed with!😊
It feels like "feminine energy" is just a nice sounding name for "Be so child-like that he feels stronger, smarter and better at adulting in comparison to you" which I find toxic and creepy AF.
i agree. It is also NOT CUTE to see "teehee! I'm so helpless! Like, I'm not even going to try at all cuz I'm so cute and dainty!" when these types are older and REFUSING to try or self improve or have any agency. It leads to depressing descents in life, and it's insufferable! I've seen
divine femininity is also more inclusive and general, but like many Spiritual concepts of course it's easy to twist it around for someone's self interest :(
But there has been this ideology that being aggressive is ok for women, and dangerous in men. Which I guess is true. But, someone definitely render themselves unattractive by just being aggressive because they’re insecure. I notice it in a lot black women and even in some white women especially if they’re a bit weird looking lmaooo. But whatever I’m just trolling a bit. But for some women the green light “to be feminine” is very healing and you can tell Tyler is a BIT triggered. Being from the background she is and not necessarily (due to her natural features) being the most ‘feminine’ girl, it’s like a reach around femcel vibe. I will die on the hill that femcel girls are lesbians that happen to be attracted to men. She probably needs to constantly make videos like this as an outlet for her masculinity. Because outside of her hyper masculine environment it’s actually perceived as quite attractive. That’s the psychology of all this.
It feels like you are trying to blame toxic feminine ideas on men They act this way out of malicious incompetence so we do all the work and pay for everything
I used to be a sugar bby. It was convenient for the money but def financial abu*e. I'm happily married now, can 100% tell you that happy marriages start based on mutual respect for your partner. My husband and I are legit best friends who have different strengths. He makes more money so he pays a larger portion of the bills. I lovvee experimenting with cooking, I cook more of the meals. We've both had periods where we only have one income and the gender roles have to go out the window. Not sure why couples don't highlight how common that is.
When girls are still socialised in a certain way (to be gentle, restrained, passive, etc.) then grow up and potentially find themselves in high pressure male-dominated careers (or just a capitalist society) where you need the exact opposite qualities to succeed, I can understand being angry or feeling like you’ve being lied to But they’re sort of missing the point…
Yep. Ive daydreamed about finding a sugar daddy but i come from an entire culture built on that and knew leaving a white collar job will mean subservience. The thing is the average modern woman puts up with a man baby for a partner. Can’t reflect on her role in the complacence. And the best she can hope for is a man baby who can take care of the bills. I found my equal partner who makes being the potential higher earner so palatable. My higher earning mom is still appalled he does laundry. Ive been conditioned just like most women. He constantly pries chores out of my hand and teases me about my “toxic independence”. The truth is most women are socialized to care for others and not be taken care of. The most we can hope for is financial support. It’s inconceivable to think we could have a companion, mate, best friend, equal partner. I pinch myself sometimes bc i feel like i won the lottery which is so sad. It’s really not fairytale like except in the love, respect, growth, and fun. Everything else ordinary.
This girls decided to double down on the 50-s America play, but they ignored how it was in reality. they will follow in the footsteps that society used to force women to follow. you can find countless evidence of how trad life style went wrong and a woman was left in a difficult situation/husband abused her. these girls believe that nothing will happen to them if they perform the right rituals or something. quite narcissistic...
I’m glad it’s not just me who is bothered by this. Yes! Listing traits is already descriptive and assigning random ones to “masculine” and “feminine” energy is reductive. I’m nonbinary and even those you described as level 1 can cause harm. I’ve noticed this spiritual lens of masculine /feminine energy as a gateway toward trad wife stuff and it goes under the radar easier than the trad wife stuff from organized religions.
As a trans man I think the idea of “masculinity” and “femininity” is generally harmful. Masculinity and femininity are cultural terms, these aren’t things that tangibly exist.
@@natinthechat It's always good to know a few figures that achieved greatness only later in life. There is so much pressure from so many sources telling you you're running out of time, as if you hit 30 and you're brain stops working and your body just collapses in on itself. But there have always been older people out there only just figuring out what they love or only just having the time to dedicate to hobbies and discover a new path. It happens all the time, and sometimes we just need a reminder.
The divine feminine used to be the concept that there is a female god. This is an offensive mess that's cherry picked from Hinduism what are these kids doing 😧
This is a concept that came out of the esoteric circles into the more mainstream, it's basically tik tok people watching pick a card tarots and translating that into personality.
Some videos of divine feminine/masculine energy stuffs i've seen also looked like a very orientalist take (which is pretty much an appropriation/exoticism) of Eastern Philosophy (like Yin Yang) combined with Paganism, somehow.
I think people can sense that something is wrong, a sickness in our lives and in our society, and we're kind of circling around whatever that may be. We can't really make sense of it because the world is complicated and we're stupid. Intuition sees more than reason, but we don't know how to take concrete steps to solve a problem that we only understand in the abstract. So, we look for someone who can explain it. And there's no end to grifters on the internet who will prey on the sick with reasonable-sounding explanations and promises of a cure. Ironically, they're probably the sickest of all. But they're getting paid, so who's the dummy.
The way the girl in the last video talked about "ugly" women... I'm starting to think all of the "divine feminine" coaches are just high school bullies looking for a socially-acceptable way to bully other women, except this time instead of bullying them for wearing the wrong clothes or having a bad haircut, it's for vague stuff like not nurturing the divine feminine energies or whatever. It's a desperate attempt to lift themselves up by pushing others down. I'm not saying divine feminine is a cult, but encouraging members to look down on outsiders is a pretty common manipulation strategy within cults.
Why do people think that if women go on Europe trips we’re having sex with all these guys? Europe trips are not an episode of Emily in Paris. Were literally chillin with our girlfriends or parents or whoever were flying there with, and were Seeing the country AND HAVING FUN! Is it just me? Why does the red pill assume if we travel we’re just sleazin around? We’re literally not?
As a pagan I thank you for your work setting this straight. These people are really missing the point which is so sad. The message is that everyone has both energies and that personal issues come from denying yourself your whole identity. So paganism actually encourages women to explore masculine attributes and men feminine ones to better understand themselves and eachother. Often queer, trans and non-binary people are therefore considered sacred because they are the embodiment of this universal truth. I feel because paganism encourages you to explore and celebrate your identity that these straight people get confused and equate their identity with heteronormativity. I'm a woman so I am divine feminine, I'm a man so I'm an Alpha, but the message is really more you are made of both in different amounts and characteristics. It is colonialism and capitalism that traps people is this obsession with ranks, categories and competitions
Pagan here as well, I can hear Freya, Frigg, Artemis, Aphrodite, Athena and all the badass goddesses that were ever worshipped facepalm so hard at those divine feminine TikToks lol
Ironically I think you missed her point, this isnt in support of there being feminine/masculine traits at all, just people who have been conditioned to believe that there is this universal rule when in actuality if you hop over to another region they have a totally different list of feminine/masculine traits. All of it diminishes the complexity of human beings.
@@deedeedan8681 I agree with you completely, gender is a construct that is different from gender expression. Yes there are no universal masculine and feminine traits through out cultures but my point is that in our actual day to day lives we do deal with things being gendered, even if we agree that it's made up it still affects us. That's where the pagan teachings come in, to help us deconstruct gendered roles by encouraging us to exchange the experience within our own societies. No one can be only Masculine or Feminine energy and that is the real universal truth to get out of this : gender is a spectrum. Paganism is really an exercise of thought where you're encouraged to come to your own conclusions, it teaches you to construct your own beliefs within your own culture and I think that's where these tik-tokers get confused because they consider their experience and as universally shared, but their culture is based on heteronormativity and strict gender norms. So I think the real issue that we're dealing with is colonialist thoughts within paganism rather than it being the root cause.
shes so intelligent and funny. This video is necessary in addressing the pressure on women and the changes of society. There rlly is regression happening that ends up hurting women. Tiktok is tryna sell the fake aesthetic of a sahm, that isnt sustainable. Misogyny is an important topic that needs to be addressed.
It used to be mostly pre/teens who were obsessed with finding Their Thing which made them UniQuE TikTok has convinced too many grown folks that they, too, must label themselves with all sorts of quirky terms and big corps jump onto these fleeting trends so that the only constant is overconsumption and filling up landfills with all the trash you bought from Amazon during your grandma-core era Edit I'm like 5 mins into the video and realize my comment isn't really relevant to the content at hand, but I stand by it!
This is pretty much a thing in the new age, new religion movements, and all the people who left organised religion but are spiritual, if you look for like tarot and astrology on TH-cam, you can see this trend is much older for them.
Its to bad that romantic comedies don't get made as often anymore. A movie thats a Alpha bro dude and a Dark energy woman trying to follow all these rules on dates and messing them up for laughs almost writes its self
I remember reading an old pamphlet with "housewife tips" from the 1950s one time. I don't remember which one it was, but one of the tips was something like: "You're probably smarter than your husband, but never ever tell him that. Pretend you don't know what he's talking about and just let him speak." The whole divine femininity thing really reminds me of that and I don't get why any of that would be a fulfilling life. You have to act like a toddler and make your husband think you're incompetent while at the same time being more competent than him and treating him like a toddler who needs to be coddled at all times or he'll lose interest and find a woman who WILL baby him while pretending she's the baby and he's the big strong man to spare his feelings. That sounds exhausting and frustrating. Why have children when you're being expected to treat your marriage like a mother/son relationship anyway?
Sometimes as an afab autistic person, this content feels tempting. I grew up masking heavily, and trying to (especially in high school) channel a more feminine comphet version of myself to get others to like me. It worked. I got a boyfriend, I got attention, I got praise from strangers for my appearance and demeanor, and yet I felt miserable. My relationship was based on a fake identity, my body felt foreign, and I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. After nearly 5 years of processing these emotions I am thankfully openly nonbinary and neurodivergent, happily queer, and can finally feel like people know and see the real me. Divine femininity content feels like falling back into an eating disorder.
I truly feel like a lot of this stuff completely breaks down when you go outside and touch grass. I do plenty of things these femininity coaches would consider “masculine” but literally who cares. Those things have led to me having friends, a husband, a career, muscles, etc. it hasn’t negatively impacted me. a lot of this garbage just doesn’t take into account that you have to go out into the world and be a person for real lol
Idk, my partner likes muscle mommies and more butch women. Hed love me regardless but it was definitely the big biceps that got him. It was his pure heart that got me. 🥺
@@tylerbenderr thanks! I was inspired by this comic of a buff guy angrily doing an exercise and thinking "I'm gonna be do good at hugging." I can report I am now very good at hugging
Always confuses me as a transgender person how it falls on transgender people to define genders and we're judged for being too out there but like... people talking about your "feminine energy" and "masculine energy" exist unquestioned by those who question us. also that aside, I agree I think that this whole trend is really damaging and I know that feminism discussions have never been perfect but I do feel like there used to be a bit more of a focus on being your own unique person and making your own unique choices- not letting gender limit you. I wish we talked more about that.
It’s def not on transgenders to define gender, but because a lot of you were vocal about “gender is a social concept”, and felt the need to define it, it changed how people talk about gender in professional settings like in school or the doctors office. Let’s not act obtuse about this.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809 1. talking about my own personal experience-- whenever people have pressured me to "explain gender" to them, it's never been in response to any opinions I've expressed about gender as a whole. it's just been because I asked people to refer to me different than they did before. not every trans person is ready or willing to answer these questions just on a whim. 2. I don't actually disagree with people asking trans people questions about gender if they're talking about gender, maybe I should have been more clear in my comment. That's completely fine & reasonable; I just find it interesting that when cisgender people talk about gender they don't get asked the same questions (from what I've seen). I think it's a shame, it would open up a lot of conversation. hope this clears it up sorry for any misunderstanding ^-^
In my opinion those who actually understand the concept of feminism and seek to better themselves by understand that taking care of yourself, educating yourself, working toward goals that make you happy, being honest and genuine, and trying your best to foster a community is what leads to happiness. And therefore making you more attractive to others. But at the end of the day, if you're so deeply desperate to dumb yourself down for a partner, you need to spend more time on yourself, bc more often than not, it leads to unhealthy relationships.
I’m in a “black cat” and “golden retriever” relationships with my gf, but no one talks about how annoying the hyperactive person can be in a relationship lol. My gf appreciates it but she also gets overwhelmed too
hey as long as you understand that and are communicating those things with one another that ain't bad. sounds like you acknowledge it and are hopefully working with one another !
I totally agree with this, these coaches are capitalizing off of our vulnerability as women. It also makes women like me feel bad or less then (one of the reasons I got off tiktok lol). I've never been a soft or nurturing type of girl; I grew up as the sporty tomboy then got more girly as I grew up, but my personality has always been assertive, determined, and strong willed, all of which are associated with masculinity but I just so happen to embody these traits and be a girl. Don't even get me started on the pushback I got from men and women alike on my basic personality since I was literally old enough to speak (for context, I grew up in a repressive religious community that thinks women were created only to be wives and mothers).
I am so grateful for all the sane women raging at this BS... there was a time when i partially believed this nonsense, bc there was literally nobody else saying that it's wrong and incorrect.
I literally agree with everything in this video. My first thought after stumbling across one of those types of videos was, "This is just misogyny with a fresh coat of paint." Like, these girlies are really sitting in front of a camera talking about how women are just 'meant' to be more quiet and submissive than men and how we're 'not built' for the workforce, and see nothing wrong with it 🙄 I swear growing up I kept hearing about how women deserve equal opportunities because we're just as capable as a man, and now suddenly I'm seeing all these women being like, "All women are just helpless widdle girls who need big strong men to do everything for us 🥺" Like, babe, if that's what you want, cool. You do you. But can you stop lumping the rest of us in with you 😅 And the entire concept that you only have access to certain emotions based on your gender is actually pretty funny. Like, "Sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay 29.99 for the Male Emotions DLC." Anyways, thanks for making this video. I feel like I really haven't seen anyone talking about this 😅
Most of women’s clothing is for the “male gaze.” hell I stopped wearing real bras and just wear camis under my clothes. bras are not how boobs even look lol. If you r single don’t let others put you down or make u think your whole existence is to find a man. I am a happy spinster (lol am 39) with a cat and yes I use crystals for decoration 😂
I think one of the biggest issues with people in general is the need to be so obsessed with a lifestyle that they dive too deep into a label they over exaggerate. Trad wifes, alpha males, modern witches are all the same in the need to almost be "believed" they are fitting of their label which takes them to extremes. It seems to come from either a competitive place or a fear of not being accepted. You can like some witchy things or trad partner things while still maintaining your genuine values.
for real. It also has a lot to do with people desperate to play social status games. If one wants to be high social status, they may create a rule based system where they are placed high in the hierarchy, and people who are different are judged as low-class
Your face reacting to these is very similar to *my* face reacting to these as a guy that has never heard of this stuff before in his life. Thanks for that 🤝
Baking cookies is an insipid chore, suitable for those lacking any real culinary talent. Follow a recipe, toss them in the oven, and voilà-mediocrity achieved. The duality of divine and dark femininity warrants a detailed dissection. Divine femininity, often venerated, is the embodiment of nurturing grace and altruism. It’s the unchallenged archetype of maternal warmth and virtuous patience-qualities that, while commendable, are tedious in their predictability. Dark femininity, on the other hand, embraces a more primal and potent form of power. It is cunning, strategic, and unapologetically self-serving. This aspect of femininity understands and manipulates the undercurrents of human desire and fear with surgical precision. True mastery lies in the ability to balance these two forces, merging the nurturing with the formidable. This synthesis is where real power lies, transcending simplistic binaries. Now, let me savor a Davidoff Royal Release cigar while contemplating the complexities of such power dynamics, paired, of course, with a glass of Macallan M.
As someone raised in these communities: Like there are goddesses of beer and warfare and cats. There are cultures that say the sun is ultimate masculine energy and is the big god tm, and moon is ultimately feminine but then BAM! Across the ocean, Amaretsu and Tsukyomi, goddess of the sun and god of the moon. Gender is different across cultures, as are what we associate with these energies. To be a “goddess” just like be you and be happy in all your sides and selves, all your domains, whatever. Be your own DIY archetype and provide a unique role model that shows people they shouldn’t have to worry about this shit to be seen as they person they say they are. Also, “oh show you are so in touch with your fem/masc energy” is usually a form of gender policing and I FELT that *shudder*. To bring it back to cultural, I have also seen people that talk that way justify their racism based on this too.
I really laugh when people try to describe masculine energy as 'providing' and feminine energy as 'receiving'. My Mom was disabled and I did everything for her for years while my OLDER brother didn't do squat other than seemingly campaign for the title of the most coddled and entitled but least helpful person in the world. But, hey, I'm independent and self actualized while my brother still struggles to figure out who he is and how to be happy, so...good job, older people in our family/social circle who were perfectly okay with watching me do everything for my Mom from when I was still a kid myself while expecting absolutely nothing from my brother. Way to go. I'm so hyperindependent , it's almost impossible for me to ask for help, while my brother keeps looking for a Mom (🤮) in his romantic partners. Divine, schmivine...people who subscribe to this nonsense need to spend some time in the real world. *** If I hadn't brought all that MASCULINE 'active' energy of helping my Mom get approved for disability after initially being denied - I was the only person helping my Mom with the appeal while, again, my brother did nothing to help, - our whole family would have been homeless. People can gtfoh with that 'masculine energy' nonsense, most of the laziest people I've know have been men.
I am feeling for you, so many women have to take care of disabled relatives and yet we are not recognized for it bc "thats what women are supposed to do". I have an uncle like your brother. He's 6 feet tall and never helped or provided anything for us yet he's worshipped by his mum just bc he's a guy 😩. Stay safe ❤
One feminine energy video did help me heal from a childhood in conservative religion where femininity was a liability with women lower in rank than men. The video explained the receiving/supportive nature of the feminine (in general, of course) and the need for the masculine to do acts of service, all under the umbrella of equality. Okay, so far, so good. From what I gathered, that's basically it. Everything else is a bit woo woo and very vague. There's a danger of people being legalistic with these feminine and masculine traits and do's/don'ts, and there's no thought given to how complex each individual really is. One woman on TH-cam talking about feminine energy seems very nice, but she's just 24. Talk to me about a woman's life when you're 64 and have been around the block a few times.
It is crazy how pervasive this kind of content is. Hopefully we can all push back on these grifters preying on people's insecurities. Keep fighting the good fight
I do agree it’s definitely planned and paid- but I think it’s more corporations and religious organizations as they stand to gain more from regressive social norms, the government WANTS women working good, stable jobs-that’s more people paying taxes.
@@tylerbenderr I agree with them. I'd argue the government as a whole doesn't want anything. That wheelchair Republican got booted because he said all the ultraconservatives were having wild s3x and doing dr**s. None of our politicians actually give a damn. Even Romney said it's something like 20% tops of either party want to government, the rest just want to get on the news. If DeSantis says a woman's place is in the kitchen, it's to get votes from evangelicals. If evangelicals wanted free meth, he'd find a way to justify endorsing that.
I agree with some of what you said - it could be an artificial movement propped up by someone with an agenda. But why would corporations be behind it? Corporations need women to work, fill jobs, and keep wages down. When women have jobs, and earn money, they can buy products and help corporations make profit. It wouldn't make sense for them to keep women at home and not earning anything.
The government needs us to be more interested in having babies so we have more taxpayers to fund Social Security and all our other programs. Our birth rate is not currently on track to keep up with keeping our systems adequately funded. They're hoping taking the cheaper, "easier" route of propaganda will work, instead of putting real money into people being able to work less and have more comfort in all areas that make family formation more appealing.
Ehhhh- government doesn’t have the means to funnel money into ‘propoganda’ corporate owners (most media is controlled by like 6 companies in USA) however just need to make a phone call. It’s not a coincidence Musk bought Twitter when he did and that he got the funding from some third party sources to do so.
A sane man who wants to start a family is looking for a woman to build a life with not some helpless passive daffodil that will need to be supported without anything in return.
Supporting a woman is an exchange he makes in order to have access to her, her reproductive capacity and child rearing etc…he’s not paying for everything and getting nothing back
One of my favorite thing is whenever someone says “you have to make him feel like a man.” Like, I’m not stopping him - that’s HIS job. This feminine dogma is just trying to pity the weak men. Like no, step up, guys! We women have been told to work on ourselves to find love, and we did. But what do guys have to offer? Because for many of them it’s not a healthy adult relationship.
My dad insists on having a home landline in addition to us all having cell phones, but as a cool side effect, the phone number for the home phone is the one that's in all the scammers' databases. It's like $15 a year? Totally worth it, especially since we also get a discount on our Internet bill from bundling with the landline. We just periodically check the voicemail for anything relevant (pretty much was just school district snow day alerts).
today i went to therapy to continue to sort out some of my issues because i believe that my progress over time will make me a better person and, eventually, a stable, valuable partner once i feel like i'm a well enough person to broach entering a relationship and falling in love, which is a nuanced and emotional process that requires the dedication of both parties. not my only goal, obviously, but becoming stable enough to create and maintain a romantic relationship definitely is one of my goals. i'd like to be able to be a kind and reasonable partner. ...but idk instead maybe i should just ghost my therapist and devote myself into my ✨feminine energies✨ and decide i play a role in some odd gender hierarchy tiktok can curate for my mind instead. seems so much faster and more rational, would definitely work out for me in the long run! 🙄 fr though, love your videos. you make engaging and insightful dives into your subject matter, be it soda shops or gender roles or whatever else you decide. i'm glad my love for van life and tradwife satire eventually led me to your longer form content
you are so right about the reality of organizing a future for yourself that requires you to be reliant and placing yourself at someone else's mercy. and if you can't keep up this false persona, or you gain 10 pounds, or you age, or you don't do the things he deems "your" work, he has all the power and money on his side to hold over you. you should be in the relationship because it makes you happy, not because it's too hard to leave.
My husband loves me because I am a good person who loves him for who he is. He loves that I can be girly and assembled new furniture. We are partners and that had nothing to do with feminine or masculine energy.
Totally not the point of the video, but I will be saying "it might just have a fun texture...and I like fun so it's okay" the next time I fuck up a recipe.
I had to stop working because of chronic illness. I'm very fortunate that my spouse and I are able to live on just his salary, and I know it. It's tight, but we're getting by alright. But let me tell you, I worry every single day about what would happen if that income weren't there. I don't know why there are women out there who try to depend on someone else's income on PURPOSE. That's not realistic. It might have been decades ago, but not now. It's really scary and disempowering in our current economy to be dependent on someone.
So I love spirituality and woo woo stuff. I’m female/nonbinary and the idea of gender discourse entering spiritual spaces pisses me off. I left my traditional religious beliefs (Catholicism) to be free of gender expectations; not to create a rebranded version. It’s frustrating as hell to see when spirituality felt like a safe space for me. Thank you for talking about this! ❤
Oh my god, thank you so much for helping me touch grass. I am the eternal tomboy and feel so bad when I watch this kind of content. I've always struggled with feeling feminine enough. Eta: my man is most obsessed with me when I'm: managing my finances, fixing something (just fixed the dishwasher), and updating my LinkedIn. I kid you not. He loves him an independent woman. Our friend started seeing a woman and his first two compliments were "she's beautiful" and "she has a mortgage." These men exist and don't want "divine feminine."
Don’t ever feel shame for who you are med love a good tomboy type especially since y’all are usually pretty and pretty chill lol and like ya said super independent it’s a great thing when a guy find a girl that actually her self and isn’t worried about being hyper feminine and I’m sure your more then feminine enough for him anyway congrats on winning the game of life lol I hope it continues!😊
In Ireland, women used to lose their jobs when they got married. I was always told that while it’s okay to be a stay at home parent, you need some possible source of income outside of your spouse. Have enough money in savings yourself that if things become sour, you have the ability to leave safely. It’s not only if the relationship becomes abusive, but if your spouse becomes unable to work, or dead. Have a skill you can use to make a living before you start relying on someone else. Whether it be doing nails or having a law degree.
I just scrolled past the first example yesterday and I was thinking the same thing! Thank you so much for posting this because I was just thinking what has the world come to? I used to be spiritual and I was a level 1 divine feminine girly, I still am. Think about it like in Spanish, there are gendered terms for everything. Example is desk is masculine and apple is feminine. Or right brain/left brain, logical vs empathetic and creative. But using this concept to create a hidden trad wife narrative is crazy! This is not at ALL what the spiritual teachings are trying to say!
@@tylerbenderr TYLER THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING I LOVE HOW MUCH YOU Communicate WITH YOUR SUBSCRIBERS! YOU ARE AN AMAZING AND HILARIOUS HUMAN AND I LOVE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS!!!
Haven’t finished the video: about frozen eggs, do you have 2 inches of space between the wall and your fridge? Every time I clean under it I push it back too far and stuff like this happens.
I think (and I think this is adding to trad wife culture too) the fact that women are expected to be "everything" in multiple economic, health, and social crises and men aren't really being given much guidance to do anything but be an incel or Andrew Tate about it is a huge issue. Most women I know are stressed out and exhausted all the time and feel like they have lost all sense of their person-hood because they have to be 24/7 mom to 2 kids, be full time nurse to their aging parents, AND hustle like 3 jobs to afford food and a roof over their heads. Guys are also exhausted from also working 3 jobs and feel like they also can't take doing any more and instead of being told "the entire situation is shitty but your wife/girlfriend can't work the same number of jobs as you do AND be full time mom and caregiver you have to find a way to help" they're being told to do weaponized incompetence and that it's not their job to help...or when they do try and help sometimes it society constantly calling the mom when the kid has issues at school when it was supposed to be her day in the office because everyone *else* assumes it's mom's job. This just makes women resent their lives and their husbands so much, which makes husbands feel really emasculated (which, again, drives them to things that tell them feminism is the problem and not a society that literally does not value them equally as a parent and caregiver and instead pushes all of that on the wife) and leads him to wish for "traditional" things (even though what they think is "traditional" is actually just a commercial, real life was never idealic), and then also the woman starts wishing for more traditional things (or the Halmark card version of traditional that leaves out all the nasty bits) because they sort of feel like at least back in the day they didn't have to do *everything* (even though, spoiler, if you working class, you still did...so your situation would not improve you just also now would be paid way less and wouldn't be able to open your own bank account). And so younger people in their late teens and 20s are seeing the "millennial and Gen X" crowd just be miserable as hell and they then want to return to something they feel was lost. But (as an older person myself) what we "lost" wasn't submissive wives and Chad husbands what we lost is the middle class ability to afford a house on a single income. We didn't "lose" feminine energy and masculine energy we lost affordable daycare and healthcare. That's what we actually lost.
I am currently one of those stay at home moms on a budget. A tight budget. My ENTIRE life, this is what I thought was the dream. This is what I wanted, pined for, cried for. Well guess what? I hate it. It’s TERRIBLE. I’m not built for the SAHM life!!!!! Do what YOU want to do, don’t ever change who you are for a dude. Trust me!!!!
Lived in a hippie dominated area with a lot of trad coded women doing homeschooling (homeschooling can be absolutely fine but can also be done in a super weird harmful ways) and dabbled in the culture for a bit, can confirm this the qanon pipeline is real. A lot of "evolved" folks out there being transphobic and way more into gender roles than even some conservatives
Thank you for covering this! There is so much toxic advice shared by these dating coaches. Be an equal, be honest, be trustworthy and open…and be your own genuine self!!
I’m the black cat and my husband is my golden retriever (I prefer rogue and paladin) and my husband knows my every thought. Tbf my adhd info dumps are like 3/4s my thoughts. 🤷🏻♀️
19:18 there is a youtuber called karmalita who is basically like this. i don't like her or her culty fan base. talks down to plus size people but claims she's not "fatphobic" or whatver. talks down about women who's life's don't revolve around being deemed pretty by society. shames women for not being stick thin and therefore failing at life. i'm sick of women trying to shame me and other women for not being what men what :/. and people like karmalita frame as this bitter truth to wake up women. what all literally say is "appeal to men's desires, conform to society's expectations for women (especially being conventionally attractive) and you can get what you want from men. if you don't, you're trying to hard and is a failure" oh wow. ground breaking information. men tell me that *all* the time. and is always framed like they are supporting women. no they are not. shaming women who don't wear makeup, who don't want to be 90s model thin, etc etc is not supporting women :/. it's just repackaging misogyny for women to submit to it. at least karmalita is semi aware of this, but her fans (and similarly the people in this video) pretend like they manipulating men for what they want. but so many of these people weren't hyper feminine to begin with. they didn't submit to men's desires in the first place nor do they rlly want that. they don't do it bc it's true to them. i just think it's lame for women to expect other women to give up and conform to a man's world, whether they truly mean well or not.
As a guy, I think a partner being competent and accomplished is a great thing. It reflects well on them. If anything, you'd want to get to know them even more. Wanting a trad wife is wanting a slave. It's a thing in Asia. Sane people are trying to get rid of it there. Why would you revert back to subjugation and lack of respect in your relationships? Also, please don't do the hard to get thing. Everyone can communicate. This is akin to unhealthy manipulation and if the guy suspects you're doing it, it'll put a damper on the situation. No one likes being messed around with during messaging or communication. Also, if a guy is worried about your body count, they're probably misinformed or an ass. This is learned behaviour. It's false that most or all guys think like this. It varies greatly.
The new popular topic is to do less, and attract more, which I feel can be problematic in its own way. It’s good to be in your “soft girl era” but any kind of extreme way of thinking can be dangerous.
Tyler I’m curious, have you known any girls personally who have been clearly affected by this divine femininity thing? I’ll admit as a dude, until I watched this video, I had no idea that there was essentially a manosphere for women. I was a senior in high school during the rise of Andrew Tate. I had to cut off close friends who were influenced by him and became so blatantly racist, homophobic, misogynistic as a result. It basically became their ENTIRE personality and was scary (one of them legit shaved their head to look more like Andrew Tate it was crazy bruh) If there are a decent number of women legitimately being influenced by divine femininity, that makes me kinda concerned. I haven’t dated or even been friends with any girl who would seem to watch that type of content, so I guess that’s created unawareness regarding divine femininity. I just find it crazy how these two things work together to create inauthentic relationships and dynamics between men and women. The manosphere paints women out as objects to be pleased, divine femininity paints men out as objects to be pleased. I’ve really hated how much going backwards has been encouraged in recent years and has frankly ruined people.
Ye I know what you mean it’s really weird lately in general everyone seems to wanna go back to the old stuff we got rid of for hoood reason but paint it and flip its meaning just enough to be presented as something new but used on ppl in the same way but ppl don’t want to see it really is concerning
fwiw we've been in fourth wave feminism for a while, but i completely agree with your concerns that this kind of mindset and cultural rhetoric could very easily play a significant role in undoing a lot of social progress that has been a constant uphill battle to achieve
This isn’t entirely new. Back in the 90s, there was a book called “The Rules,” that peddled the same kind of message. It’s sad how lost young people are when it comes to approaching relationships.
LOVE this video and all of your takes! If I may gently push back on one ending comment, “give people basic respect and respect will come back to you”, I actually think this isn’t true. To me, the divine femininity movement is a coping mechanism for a society in which men and women aren’t raised to be equally considerate of each other. Since women giving men basic respect hasn’t been reciprocated historically, women look for any ways they can obtain a fragment of control. Not even over other people - but over the outcome of their own life. It’s yet another version of, “if I just act right they’ll treat me better.” A common coping mechanism when one is caught in a relationship with a narcissist, which sadly I think is the case for most women who aren’t single.
I worship chaos, so I have taken this opportunity to hype up all my bro friends by complimenting them on how in tune they are with their 'divine feminine energy' when they do something good. 😎
I just discovered your channel, and I really like what you do! You are so right, the way you conclude should be absolutely obvious to anyone. (I like making chocolate chips cookies too and I laughed a lot seeing that you were eating the raw mix 😆)
This is all routed in weird conservative-spiritual gender roles & is incredibly misogynistic / designed to control woman and turn them into subservient little playthings for men. And if you're a man who doesn't identify with non-traditional masculine principles, where does that leave you? You're considered weak, a bad provider, etc. Where is all this crap coming from? This was a beautifully put together video.
Fascinating how they’re trying to repackage 1940s-50s dating advice with 1970s feminist buzzwords as if it didn’t use to mean the total opposite 😂
this is just tradwife shit mixed with woo woo crystal spirituality.
It just sounds like misandry + weponised incompetence, "I'm far too divine and girly to do this work, you do it for me man"
I was academically successful in school; I was a national merit scholar in high school, made straight A's in AP classes, etc. Before I went off to university, my dad told me that he didn't know how I'd ever get married because I'd have to find someone smarter and more driven than me and that would be too hard... This was in the late '00s, and it kept coming up after that too.
I ended up with a PhD in a STEM field, but my goodness were a lot of men really put off when they found out. It was a GREAT way to weed out men who didn't respect me.
I am happily married now to an absolutely wonderful man who respects me for me.
I actually feel this!! Being worried about someone who can handle my “snark” and “ambition” because it’s off putting
@tylerbenderr I'd imagine someone who can't handle your "snark" would be a really boring partner for you; not everyone gets specific stuff like that to weed out options. My southern baptist upbrining saying it is a "blessing in disguise."
If someone feels insecure regarding the merits of their partner then WTF are they doing? Lying to ourselves, creating characters to 'attract' a mate is bizarre, you explained it well - being trapped as a character within a relationship is an elimination of fhe self. People will love you for you, these 'tricks' are bogus.
I am so sorry! As a sucessful female, IF you chose to get married you will be SO much healthier ❤ I am a Gen X with a MS in STEM, happily married, to a man who appreciate a very smart wife. And our daughters are extremely smart and STEM. They don't have to put up with toxic masculine people
@@_snaiio5492lp 15:03 q
😭 all this dark and divine energy reminds me of reading a book and taking the coolest traits of the main character as my own in middle school
Lmaooo
"I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel."
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in."
I find it crazy y’all will still blame men for toxic female behavior
Such casual misandry
@@nobodythenobody9779 ?????
I always think of this Ursula K Le Guin quote when i run into divine feminine nonsense online:
"But I didn’t and still don’t like making a cult of women’s knowledge, preening ourselves on knowing things men don’t know, women’s deep irrational wisdom, women’s instinctive knowledge of Nature, and so on. All that all too often merely reinforces the masculinist idea of women as primitive and inferior - women’s knowledge as elementary, primitive, always down below at the dark roots, while men get to cultivate and own the flowers and crops that come up into the light. But why should women keep talking baby talk while men get to grow up? Why should women feel blindly while men get to think?"
exactly. its repackaging a lot of patriarchal beliefs that aren't as obviously harmful in the most appealing way possible to women bc we're all scared of global warming and capitalism. I think we take a lot of feminism for granted and what it won for us, and a lot of millennial and gen z women are flirting with actual tenants of patriarchy (minus the explicit violence and abuse that feminism thankfully removed for them) as an answer to this global uncertainty and fear
Ate
Ursula K Le Guin knowing what she's talking about as usual
SHE WAS ALWAYS SPITTIN' BARS
I never thought of it like that.
🗿 As someone who loves the Divine Feminine, this gives me much to think about.
Dark empath, divine feminine, sigma male etc.
Just say you are a self insert in your main character story and move on I beg of you 😭😭😭
Just say you’re a narcissist and move on
😂 I hate the words “dark empath” because that’s literally just a sociopath who’s found out how other people work and found a way to manipulate us 😂
Maybe all they really need is someone to introduce them to fanfiction.
Girl you are so eloquent!! You really summarized everything wrong with this “movement” shockingly quickly. I love that you pointed out that many women are attracted to the “soft” lifestyle because we’re all suffering under capitalism and it can be appealing to seek a life where you don’t have to run the rat race just to survive.
thank you!! 💖 I really really appreciate it more than you know.
Bro, why are they gendering gosh darn personality traits?? 😭😭
How emotional or logical you are does not dictate your gender! Be yourself!!
That's just gender roles ina different packaging, personality traits have been gendered for a long time, sadly.
My paternal grandma was a farm housewife back in the day. In the 1950s she got married in her late teens to a my grandpa, who was a very traditional farmer with a decent amount of money. My grandma spent her 20s and 30s living the life that these sort of women idolize: baking bread, feeding chickens, raising kids, sewing matching outfits for her children, all while living in an cute red farmhouse... however, she was miserable. This wasn't because of the work, she liked it and was very good at it. She was miserable because this lifestyle was dependent on a man who expected her to be subservient and docile. Her cottagecore life devolved into a very toxic and bitter marriage. Eventually when divorce became easier to obtain in the 1970s, she realized that she had to leave. She eventually went to college and got her P.A. license and discovered that she could still do things like bake bread and raise chickens without a man to provide for her.
As much as I love the cottagecore aesthetic, it's not obtainable in it's pure form. I grew up on a farm, and my mom was a farm housewife. My parents aren't big believers in traditional gender roles, but it's what my mom wanted to do and my dad was able to make enough money at the time to make it work. Being a stay at home farm wife is not all roses: money gets tight, your husband has to work 10+ hours of the day during harvest leaving you to tend the house and kids alone, everything gets dirty quicker than you can clean it, sometimes you have to put a calf suffering from hypothermia in your bathroom, and your kids break practically everything in the house. After the 2008 recession, my mom ended up having to work part time as having one income just wasn't enough. Being able to not have a job that produces income is a privilege both today and in the past, and acting like women shouldn't/ haven't worked outside the home is such a stupid take. Also, as stated in the video, sometimes men will use women's financial dependency to be incredibly abusive (this happened to my oldest sister and thankfully she was able to get out of that marriage).
Also, as a sidenote: as a bisexual I don't get the whole "masculine women and feminine men aren't attractive" as in the corners of the internet I've inhabited, there are plenty of queer and straight people who would die and kill for masculine women and feminine men.
As a bisexual woman myself...I can confirm that there's nothing hotter than femme men and masc women... It takes Guts to be your real self in the face of bullying and discrimination 🥵🤩
I'm queer myself and I never understood that either!! Like why does the attraction have to be in a specific box for women… they're all attractive
It’s interesting how y’all think there was another alternative back then, like there were no easy AC office jobs back then, and it’s not like y’all actually built anything so you just expect us to make society for you and just hand it over?
@@nobodythenobody9779what ? How does this have to do with the comment the op made and where did they give you the impression they wanted men to build stuff and work hard while women get to chill what are u talking about lol?😅
@@nobodythenobody9779 and you barely did anything to contribute to the current society. Wtf kind of logic are you trying to get at? "dA wOmEn dOn'T bUiLt aNyThInG" is getting oddly repetitive. Wait till you grow older or somehow become incapacitated and let's see if any man would feed you and wipe your ass.
Not to mention the overuse of the word *Abundant* 🙄
Omg YES
The abundant overuse of abundant
“I am MANIFESTING that ABUNDANCE by asking The UNIVERSE…” Erm…. Yeah, no. I’m old and I’m old-school enough to still talk to or about God using He/Him pronouns…and I don’t like to ask for/demand a specific outcome for my personal desires and expectations..
However, the non-specific general vagueness of these TikTok, witchy girls, and some guys just “manifesting”their desire via a mental or “thought form” posted note shut out of a specific chakra sphincter towards said universe, and or your higher self self, even though most of these rudimentary lower self dark feminine types aren’t particularly high on anything other than the brand of their own mystique perhaps?
Fringe cringe and ick.
I live in the Great Lakes region Ohio specifically where we have a lot of silverfish, which is really not that silver not a fish. It’s more of a non-lethal centipede type thing that just mustaches around en masse in the damper summer months more than any other time I think although sometimes you know they’ll be the determined Lazarus that still most of the winter and rises up under your basement bathroom bathmat, neither silvery nor fishy, but still so very creepy nonetheless.
I mentioned the silverfish because a memory sticks in my head of my brother, having to remove the waterbed of a tenant. He evicted from his house and it was in a basement bedroom, and we, along with another house made of his lifted up the semi flaccid bladder of the waterbed on which the evicted housemate had slept without sheets while eating barbecued chicken wings for many many months before the silverfish and other creatures became curious. Well, I am almost 50 now and this happened during college age, but I probably would have several more years ahead of me than I have now for what these riding dancing silverfish, having some kind of invertebrate convention under that water Bed did for my life expectancy. Utterly horrific and I’m not a person who gets eked out by insects and such very frequently, but that that was a lot a lot and the other house made who was helping with the procedure of removal, a few hours later when we were gathered at a local pub for our retelling of the cinematic and nightmarish encounter with these basement creatures, I remember he had come from a state like Delaware maybe New Hampshire so that it wasn’t quite as New England accent as my in-laws from Providence or My ex-boyfriend whose parents were absolute South Boston but the silverfish Wrangler did have a distinct way of speaking that made him seem more like a professor or an old man and a Stephen King story that was just wise and the rest of us were not yet even though we were all under the age of twenty five at that time… he turned to his girlfriend and said very earnestly and eloquently sounding like he might have been one of the Kennedy family members that were gone by the time I was born but lived on in Soundbites news clips that precious to “ask not what our country can do for us, but..,” in fact the guy kind of shared the same caricature, wavy hair, big teeth, sort of Kennedy appearance as he said: “And we flipped the wat-uh bed mattress only for us to encounter his ABUNDANCE of Silvuh-fish absolutely TEEEMING in the bed frame.”
And so now that’s the story of how I can never hear that word without somewhere in the back of my mind seeing that whole real unfurl in my memory. Which is why if they really believe they have the power to just make things happen by thinking some of these little witches best to be careful and be very specific of them don’t seem to specify for an abundance of a certain type of item… maybe I’ve just been exposed to a lot of European Catholic lore and some urban and rural legends/myths/cautionary tales and some literature along the lines of THE MONKEYS PAW and being careful what one might wish for? there are plenty of abundances that allow me to be grateful for the deficit of such that I am blessed with!😊
It feels like "feminine energy" is just a nice sounding name for "Be so child-like that he feels stronger, smarter and better at adulting in comparison to you" which I find toxic and creepy AF.
i agree. It is also NOT CUTE to see "teehee! I'm so helpless! Like, I'm not even going to try at all cuz I'm so cute and dainty!" when these types are older and REFUSING to try or self improve or have any agency. It leads to depressing descents in life, and it's insufferable! I've seen
divine femininity is also more inclusive and general, but like many Spiritual concepts of course it's easy to twist it around for someone's self interest :(
But there has been this ideology that being aggressive is ok for women, and dangerous in men. Which I guess is true. But, someone definitely render themselves unattractive by just being aggressive because they’re insecure. I notice it in a lot black women and even in some white women especially if they’re a bit weird looking lmaooo. But whatever I’m just trolling a bit. But for some women the green light “to be feminine” is very healing and you can tell Tyler is a BIT triggered. Being from the background she is and not necessarily (due to her natural features) being the most ‘feminine’ girl, it’s like a reach around femcel vibe. I will die on the hill that femcel girls are lesbians that happen to be attracted to men. She probably needs to constantly make videos like this as an outlet for her masculinity. Because outside of her hyper masculine environment it’s actually perceived as quite attractive. That’s the psychology of all this.
yeppp
It feels like you are trying to blame toxic feminine ideas on men
They act this way out of malicious incompetence so we do all the work and pay for everything
I used to be a sugar bby. It was convenient for the money but def financial abu*e. I'm happily married now, can 100% tell you that happy marriages start based on mutual respect for your partner. My husband and I are legit best friends who have different strengths. He makes more money so he pays a larger portion of the bills. I lovvee experimenting with cooking, I cook more of the meals. We've both had periods where we only have one income and the gender roles have to go out the window. Not sure why couples don't highlight how common that is.
When girls are still socialised in a certain way (to be gentle, restrained, passive, etc.) then grow up and potentially find themselves in high pressure male-dominated careers (or just a capitalist society) where you need the exact opposite qualities to succeed, I can understand being angry or feeling like you’ve being lied to
But they’re sort of missing the point…
Yep. Ive daydreamed about finding a sugar daddy but i come from an entire culture built on that and knew leaving a white collar job will mean subservience.
The thing is the average modern woman puts up with a man baby for a partner. Can’t reflect on her role in the complacence. And the best she can hope for is a man baby who can take care of the bills.
I found my equal partner who makes being the potential higher earner so palatable. My higher earning mom is still appalled he does laundry. Ive been conditioned just like most women. He constantly pries chores out of my hand and teases me about my “toxic independence”. The truth is most women are socialized to care for others and not be taken care of. The most we can hope for is financial support. It’s inconceivable to think we could have a companion, mate, best friend, equal partner. I pinch myself sometimes bc i feel like i won the lottery which is so sad. It’s really not fairytale like except in the love, respect, growth, and fun. Everything else ordinary.
This girls decided to double down on the 50-s America play, but they ignored how it was in reality. they will follow in the footsteps that society used to force women to follow. you can find countless evidence of how trad life style went wrong and a woman was left in a difficult situation/husband abused her. these girls believe that nothing will happen to them if they perform the right rituals or something. quite narcissistic...
God y’all sound so insane and misandrist
You're such a fan of this channel @@nobodythenobody9779
@@nobodythenobody9779yeah, the whole world is misandrist, go on, be a victim.
I’m glad it’s not just me who is bothered by this. Yes! Listing traits is already descriptive and assigning random ones to “masculine” and “feminine” energy is reductive. I’m nonbinary and even those you described as level 1 can cause harm. I’ve noticed this spiritual lens of masculine /feminine energy as a gateway toward trad wife stuff and it goes under the radar easier than the trad wife stuff from organized religions.
Perioddd^ tradwives are even worse but I already covered it- if you haven’t watched yet def go check it out
As a trans man I think the idea of “masculinity” and “femininity” is generally harmful. Masculinity and femininity are cultural terms, these aren’t things that tangibly exist.
I'm nonbinary too, at least these neo-nuclear fam people don't seem to know what to do with us yet!
@@sunnyquinn3888from one trans person to another, i got your back when they come for y’all fr 🙏
non-binary = a full-fledged, complicated person who is not constrained by gender stereotypes?
Julia Child didn't get into cooking until menopause. You have time.
Fuck this comment just reminded me what a G Julia Child was. If she was still alive she could heal this world. RIP, diva 🫡🫡🫡
best comment ever
@@natinthechat It's always good to know a few figures that achieved greatness only later in life. There is so much pressure from so many sources telling you you're running out of time, as if you hit 30 and you're brain stops working and your body just collapses in on itself. But there have always been older people out there only just figuring out what they love or only just having the time to dedicate to hobbies and discover a new path. It happens all the time, and sometimes we just need a reminder.
@@Gildedmuse amen and thank you for writing me 💜
Alan Rickman became an actor in his fifties ✌️
The divine feminine used to be the concept that there is a female god. This is an offensive mess that's cherry picked from Hinduism what are these kids doing 😧
i agree it is some sort of twist
And do you want to know why they're appropriating Hinduism?
@@emzetkin1100 low occurrence of leading female characters in abrahamic texts?
This is a concept that came out of the esoteric circles into the more mainstream, it's basically tik tok people watching pick a card tarots and translating that into personality.
Some videos of divine feminine/masculine energy stuffs i've seen also looked like a very orientalist take (which is pretty much an appropriation/exoticism) of Eastern Philosophy (like Yin Yang) combined with Paganism, somehow.
I think people can sense that something is wrong, a sickness in our lives and in our society, and we're kind of circling around whatever that may be. We can't really make sense of it because the world is complicated and we're stupid. Intuition sees more than reason, but we don't know how to take concrete steps to solve a problem that we only understand in the abstract. So, we look for someone who can explain it. And there's no end to grifters on the internet who will prey on the sick with reasonable-sounding explanations and promises of a cure. Ironically, they're probably the sickest of all. But they're getting paid, so who's the dummy.
The way the girl in the last video talked about "ugly" women... I'm starting to think all of the "divine feminine" coaches are just high school bullies looking for a socially-acceptable way to bully other women, except this time instead of bullying them for wearing the wrong clothes or having a bad haircut, it's for vague stuff like not nurturing the divine feminine energies or whatever. It's a desperate attempt to lift themselves up by pushing others down. I'm not saying divine feminine is a cult, but encouraging members to look down on outsiders is a pretty common manipulation strategy within cults.
Why do people think that if women go on Europe trips we’re having sex with all these guys? Europe trips are not an episode of Emily in Paris. Were literally chillin with our girlfriends or parents or whoever were flying there with, and were Seeing the country AND HAVING FUN!
Is it just me? Why does the red pill assume if we travel we’re just sleazin around? We’re literally not?
HAHAHA YESSSS
Projection...that's what they go abroad to (try to) do.
@@dchofman7819this right here
@@dchofman7819pretty much this, I'm a Brazilian who lives in Rio and used to work in the reception of a hotel, s3x tourism is real and alive.
YES THANK YOU
As a pagan I thank you for your work setting this straight. These people are really missing the point which is so sad. The message is that everyone has both energies and that personal issues come from denying yourself your whole identity. So paganism actually encourages women to explore masculine attributes and men feminine ones to better understand themselves and eachother. Often queer, trans and non-binary people are therefore considered sacred because they are the embodiment of this universal truth. I feel because paganism encourages you to explore and celebrate your identity that these straight people get confused and equate their identity with heteronormativity. I'm a woman so I am divine feminine, I'm a man so I'm an Alpha, but the message is really more you are made of both in different amounts and characteristics. It is colonialism and capitalism that traps people is this obsession with ranks, categories and competitions
Pagan here as well, I can hear Freya, Frigg, Artemis, Aphrodite, Athena and all the badass goddesses that were ever worshipped facepalm so hard at those divine feminine TikToks lol
Ironically I think you missed her point, this isnt in support of there being feminine/masculine traits at all, just people who have been conditioned to believe that there is this universal rule when in actuality if you hop over to another region they have a totally different list of feminine/masculine traits. All of it diminishes the complexity of human beings.
Best comment on the issue
@@deedeedan8681 I agree with you completely, gender is a construct that is different from gender expression. Yes there are no universal masculine and feminine traits through out cultures but my point is that in our actual day to day lives we do deal with things being gendered, even if we agree that it's made up it still affects us. That's where the pagan teachings come in, to help us deconstruct gendered roles by encouraging us to exchange the experience within our own societies. No one can be only Masculine or Feminine energy and that is the real universal truth to get out of this : gender is a spectrum. Paganism is really an exercise of thought where you're encouraged to come to your own conclusions, it teaches you to construct your own beliefs within your own culture and I think that's where these tik-tokers get confused because they consider their experience and as universally shared, but their culture is based on heteronormativity and strict gender norms. So I think the real issue that we're dealing with is colonialist thoughts within paganism rather than it being the root cause.
shes so intelligent and funny. This video is necessary in addressing the pressure on women and the changes of society. There rlly is regression happening that ends up hurting women. Tiktok is tryna sell the fake aesthetic of a sahm, that isnt sustainable. Misogyny is an important topic that needs to be addressed.
Thank you! I’m worried for younger and more malleable minds seeing this on the fyp.
@@tylerbenderr i agreee
as a young teen, definitely concerning considering how naive and easily influenced several of my friends are, it’s scary quite frankly
what is nonbinary energy… ability to catch bugs😎👍
HAHAHA
Since masc and fem is tough and soft, maybe non binary is like a non Newtonian fluid that can be either depending on what suits?
I use he/they and present fem so I am all energies and all qualities
I thought non-binary energy was "I like trains."
@@ChaoticChilisameeeee
It used to be mostly pre/teens who were obsessed with finding Their Thing which made them UniQuE
TikTok has convinced too many grown folks that they, too, must label themselves with all sorts of quirky terms and big corps jump onto these fleeting trends so that the only constant is overconsumption and filling up landfills with all the trash you bought from Amazon during your grandma-core era
Edit I'm like 5 mins into the video and realize my comment isn't really relevant to the content at hand, but I stand by it!
Maybe a bit off topic but correct!
This is pretty much a thing in the new age, new religion movements, and all the people who left organised religion but are spiritual, if you look for like tarot and astrology on TH-cam, you can see this trend is much older for them.
Its to bad that romantic comedies don't get made as often anymore. A movie thats a Alpha bro dude and a Dark energy woman trying to follow all these rules on dates and messing them up for laughs almost writes its self
WAIT LET ME PRODUCE THIS OMLLL
As someone pursuing a degree in creative writing... why do I need to write this screenplay immediately.
@@judeweyland5493 do itttt
@@tylerbenderr u do it, that movie would be great
That movie exists and it’s called, think like a man
I remember reading an old pamphlet with "housewife tips" from the 1950s one time. I don't remember which one it was, but one of the tips was something like: "You're probably smarter than your husband, but never ever tell him that. Pretend you don't know what he's talking about and just let him speak." The whole divine femininity thing really reminds me of that and I don't get why any of that would be a fulfilling life. You have to act like a toddler and make your husband think you're incompetent while at the same time being more competent than him and treating him like a toddler who needs to be coddled at all times or he'll lose interest and find a woman who WILL baby him while pretending she's the baby and he's the big strong man to spare his feelings. That sounds exhausting and frustrating. Why have children when you're being expected to treat your marriage like a mother/son relationship anyway?
Sometimes as an afab autistic person, this content feels tempting. I grew up masking heavily, and trying to (especially in high school) channel a more feminine comphet version of myself to get others to like me. It worked. I got a boyfriend, I got attention, I got praise from strangers for my appearance and demeanor, and yet I felt miserable. My relationship was based on a fake identity, my body felt foreign, and I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. After nearly 5 years of processing these emotions I am thankfully openly nonbinary and neurodivergent, happily queer, and can finally feel like people know and see the real me. Divine femininity content feels like falling back into an eating disorder.
I truly feel like a lot of this stuff completely breaks down when you go outside and touch grass. I do plenty of things these femininity coaches would consider “masculine” but literally who cares. Those things have led to me having friends, a husband, a career, muscles, etc. it hasn’t negatively impacted me. a lot of this garbage just doesn’t take into account that you have to go out into the world and be a person for real lol
Idk, my partner likes muscle mommies and more butch women. Hed love me regardless but it was definitely the big biceps that got him.
It was his pure heart that got me. 🥺
We love muscle mommies
@@tylerbenderr thanks! I was inspired by this comic of a buff guy angrily doing an exercise and thinking "I'm gonna be do good at hugging."
I can report I am now very good at hugging
Always confuses me as a transgender person how it falls on transgender people to define genders and we're judged for being too out there but like... people talking about your "feminine energy" and "masculine energy" exist unquestioned by those who question us. also that aside, I agree I think that this whole trend is really damaging and I know that feminism discussions have never been perfect but I do feel like there used to be a bit more of a focus on being your own unique person and making your own unique choices- not letting gender limit you. I wish we talked more about that.
It’s def not on transgenders to define gender, but because a lot of you were vocal about “gender is a social concept”, and felt the need to define it, it changed how people talk about gender in professional settings like in school or the doctors office. Let’s not act obtuse about this.
@@tiahnarodriguez3809
1. talking about my own personal experience-- whenever people have pressured me to "explain gender" to them, it's never been in response to any opinions I've expressed about gender as a whole. it's just been because I asked people to refer to me different than they did before. not every trans person is ready or willing to answer these questions just on a whim.
2. I don't actually disagree with people asking trans people questions about gender if they're talking about gender, maybe I should have been more clear in my comment. That's completely fine & reasonable; I just find it interesting that when cisgender people talk about gender they don't get asked the same questions (from what I've seen). I think it's a shame, it would open up a lot of conversation.
hope this clears it up sorry for any misunderstanding ^-^
In my opinion those who actually understand the concept of feminism and seek to better themselves by understand that taking care of yourself, educating yourself, working toward goals that make you happy, being honest and genuine, and trying your best to foster a community is what leads to happiness. And therefore making you more attractive to others. But at the end of the day, if you're so deeply desperate to dumb yourself down for a partner, you need to spend more time on yourself, bc more often than not, it leads to unhealthy relationships.
I’m in a “black cat” and “golden retriever” relationships with my gf, but no one talks about how annoying the hyperactive person can be in a relationship lol. My gf appreciates it but she also gets overwhelmed too
hey as long as you understand that and are communicating those things with one another that ain't bad. sounds like you acknowledge it and are hopefully working with one another !
Oh my god that Adam and Eve joke had me absolutely HOWLING!!!
HAHAHA i'm glad, it was risky 😭😭😭
CACKLING 😂😂
I totally agree with this, these coaches are capitalizing off of our vulnerability as women. It also makes women like me feel bad or less then (one of the reasons I got off tiktok lol). I've never been a soft or nurturing type of girl; I grew up as the sporty tomboy then got more girly as I grew up, but my personality has always been assertive, determined, and strong willed, all of which are associated with masculinity but I just so happen to embody these traits and be a girl. Don't even get me started on the pushback I got from men and women alike on my basic personality since I was literally old enough to speak (for context, I grew up in a repressive religious community that thinks women were created only to be wives and mothers).
I am so grateful for all the sane women raging at this BS...
there was a time when i partially believed this nonsense, bc there was literally nobody else saying that it's wrong and incorrect.
I literally agree with everything in this video. My first thought after stumbling across one of those types of videos was, "This is just misogyny with a fresh coat of paint."
Like, these girlies are really sitting in front of a camera talking about how women are just 'meant' to be more quiet and submissive than men and how we're 'not built' for the workforce, and see nothing wrong with it 🙄
I swear growing up I kept hearing about how women deserve equal opportunities because we're just as capable as a man, and now suddenly I'm seeing all these women being like, "All women are just helpless widdle girls who need big strong men to do everything for us 🥺"
Like, babe, if that's what you want, cool. You do you. But can you stop lumping the rest of us in with you 😅
And the entire concept that you only have access to certain emotions based on your gender is actually pretty funny. Like, "Sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay 29.99 for the Male Emotions DLC."
Anyways, thanks for making this video. I feel like I really haven't seen anyone talking about this 😅
Most of women’s clothing is for the “male gaze.” hell I stopped wearing real bras and just wear camis under my clothes. bras are not how boobs even look lol. If you r single don’t let others put you down or make u think your whole existence is to find a man. I am a happy spinster (lol am 39) with a cat and yes I use crystals for decoration 😂
if you ain't meditating with crystals, u ain't the one! :3
@@user_kH9bw3ns1lol yes that's exactly how they sound 😂😂
Girl same..I don't even wear bras at home.. I'm autistic.. It feels like bras are choking me😢😂❤
You know, I was skeptical about this movement(?) and slowly agreeing with it, but thank you for bringing me back to reality.
That’s okay! I felt the same way. It’s packaged so sneakily
divine feminine/masculine just the astrology of misogyny and transphobia 😂
Exactly--the root of it is gender essentialism
I have never seen this explained so perfectly
I feel like this identification of “being a carefree woman” is just pick me speak for “don’t dump him when he cheats and forgive him over and over”
Usually their advice is cheat back lol
I think one of the biggest issues with people in general is the need to be so obsessed with a lifestyle that they dive too deep into a label they over exaggerate. Trad wifes, alpha males, modern witches are all the same in the need to almost be "believed" they are fitting of their label which takes them to extremes. It seems to come from either a competitive place or a fear of not being accepted. You can like some witchy things or trad partner things while still maintaining your genuine values.
for real. It also has a lot to do with people desperate to play social status games. If one wants to be high social status, they may create a rule based system where they are placed high in the hierarchy, and people who are different are judged as low-class
Your face reacting to these is very similar to *my* face reacting to these as a guy that has never heard of this stuff before in his life. Thanks for that 🤝
Baking cookies is an insipid chore, suitable for those lacking any real culinary talent. Follow a recipe, toss them in the oven, and voilà-mediocrity achieved. The duality of divine and dark femininity warrants a detailed dissection. Divine femininity, often venerated, is the embodiment of nurturing grace and altruism. It’s the unchallenged archetype of maternal warmth and virtuous patience-qualities that, while commendable, are tedious in their predictability. Dark femininity, on the other hand, embraces a more primal and potent form of power. It is cunning, strategic, and unapologetically self-serving. This aspect of femininity understands and manipulates the undercurrents of human desire and fear with surgical precision. True mastery lies in the ability to balance these two forces, merging the nurturing with the formidable. This synthesis is where real power lies, transcending simplistic binaries.
Now, let me savor a Davidoff Royal Release cigar while contemplating the complexities of such power dynamics, paired, of course, with a glass of Macallan M.
you are a talented writer, this comment annoyed me for way longer than it should have before i realized you were doing a bit
What are you doing, Kyle? You need to write the next Great American Novel. The publishing industry needs you.
As someone raised in these communities: Like there are goddesses of beer and warfare and cats. There are cultures that say the sun is ultimate masculine energy and is the big god tm, and moon is ultimately feminine but then BAM! Across the ocean, Amaretsu and Tsukyomi, goddess of the sun and god of the moon. Gender is different across cultures, as are what we associate with these energies.
To be a “goddess” just like be you and be happy in all your sides and selves, all your domains, whatever. Be your own DIY archetype and provide a unique role model that shows people they shouldn’t have to worry about this shit to be seen as they person they say they are.
Also, “oh show you are so in touch with your fem/masc energy” is usually a form of gender policing and I FELT that *shudder*. To bring it back to cultural, I have also seen people that talk that way justify their racism based on this too.
👏👏👏
Thank god. I hate this "feminine energy" trend. I thought we agreed that gender was a social contruct.
THANK YOU FOR THIS I thought I was going insane because so many comments just agree with what they’re saying…as if it’s not repackaged gender roles
@0:37 I was married and started having kids by 25… now I’m 30 and getting a divorce; alchemist y my witchy side again hahahaha
I really laugh when people try to describe masculine energy as 'providing' and feminine energy as 'receiving'. My Mom was disabled and I did everything for her for years while my OLDER brother didn't do squat other than seemingly campaign for the title of the most coddled and entitled but least helpful person in the world.
But, hey, I'm independent and self actualized while my brother still struggles to figure out who he is and how to be happy, so...good job, older people in our family/social circle who were perfectly okay with watching me do everything for my Mom from when I was still a kid myself while expecting absolutely nothing from my brother. Way to go. I'm so hyperindependent , it's almost impossible for me to ask for help, while my brother keeps looking for a Mom (🤮) in his romantic partners.
Divine, schmivine...people who subscribe to this nonsense need to spend some time in the real world.
*** If I hadn't brought all that MASCULINE 'active' energy of helping my Mom get approved for disability after initially being denied - I was the only person helping my Mom with the appeal while, again, my brother did nothing to help, - our whole family would have been homeless. People can gtfoh with that 'masculine energy' nonsense, most of the laziest people I've know have been men.
I am feeling for you, so many women have to take care of disabled relatives and yet we are not recognized for it bc "thats what women are supposed to do". I have an uncle like your brother. He's 6 feet tall and never helped or provided anything for us yet he's worshipped by his mum just bc he's a guy 😩. Stay safe ❤
@@kobra4422 Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it
One feminine energy video did help me heal from a childhood in conservative religion where femininity was a liability with women lower in rank than men. The video explained the receiving/supportive nature of the feminine (in general, of course) and the need for the masculine to do acts of service, all under the umbrella of equality. Okay, so far, so good. From what I gathered, that's basically it. Everything else is a bit woo woo and very vague. There's a danger of people being legalistic with these feminine and masculine traits and do's/don'ts, and there's no thought given to how complex each individual really is. One woman on TH-cam talking about feminine energy seems very nice, but she's just 24. Talk to me about a woman's life when you're 64 and have been around the block a few times.
It is crazy how pervasive this kind of content is. Hopefully we can all push back on these grifters preying on people's insecurities. Keep fighting the good fight
I do agree it’s definitely planned and paid- but I think it’s more corporations and religious organizations as they stand to gain more from regressive social norms, the government WANTS women working good, stable jobs-that’s more people paying taxes.
Ooh this is wild, let’s keep this convo going!! Someone pull sources 🤓
@@tylerbenderr I agree with them. I'd argue the government as a whole doesn't want anything. That wheelchair Republican got booted because he said all the ultraconservatives were having wild s3x and doing dr**s.
None of our politicians actually give a damn. Even Romney said it's something like 20% tops of either party want to government, the rest just want to get on the news.
If DeSantis says a woman's place is in the kitchen, it's to get votes from evangelicals.
If evangelicals wanted free meth, he'd find a way to justify endorsing that.
I agree with some of what you said - it could be an artificial movement propped up by someone with an agenda. But why would corporations be behind it? Corporations need women to work, fill jobs, and keep wages down. When women have jobs, and earn money, they can buy products and help corporations make profit. It wouldn't make sense for them to keep women at home and not earning anything.
The government needs us to be more interested in having babies so we have more taxpayers to fund Social Security and all our other programs. Our birth rate is not currently on track to keep up with keeping our systems adequately funded.
They're hoping taking the cheaper, "easier" route of propaganda will work, instead of putting real money into people being able to work less and have more comfort in all areas that make family formation more appealing.
Ehhhh- government doesn’t have the means to funnel money into ‘propoganda’ corporate owners (most media is controlled by like 6 companies in USA) however just need to make a phone call.
It’s not a coincidence Musk bought Twitter when he did and that he got the funding from some third party sources to do so.
Tyler struggling with baking is so relatable 😭🙏
Lmaooo we see each other
A sane man who wants to start a family is looking for a woman to build a life with not some helpless passive daffodil that will need to be supported without anything in return.
Supporting a woman is an exchange he makes in order to have access to her, her reproductive capacity and child rearing etc…he’s not paying for everything and getting nothing back
“Without anything in return.” Ok, you don’t get it and there’s an opportunity to do some soul searching here before it’s too late
@@dirtyprancing5930 Too busy being equal partner with my wife, kiddo. Run along.
One of my favorite thing is whenever someone says “you have to make him feel like a man.” Like, I’m not stopping him - that’s HIS job.
This feminine dogma is just trying to pity the weak men. Like no, step up, guys! We women have been told to work on ourselves to find love, and we did. But what do guys have to offer? Because for many of them it’s not a healthy adult relationship.
I am a witch and this tiktok divine feminine and masculine is so WEIRD never heard of it other than tiktok
My dad insists on having a home landline in addition to us all having cell phones, but as a cool side effect, the phone number for the home phone is the one that's in all the scammers' databases.
It's like $15 a year? Totally worth it, especially since we also get a discount on our Internet bill from bundling with the landline.
We just periodically check the voicemail for anything relevant (pretty much was just school district snow day alerts).
Ok but now you need an Adam and Eve code 😂
HAHAHAHA FR! That was an edgy joke for me 😳😅
Tiktoker: What is the most attractive thing to men?
Me: Chest coconuts
Tiktoker: Femininity
Me: Pretty sure it's chest coconuts
lol
That grin after "ho maker!" got me😂😂😂 very good advice though, videos like this do empower so hell yeah!
today i went to therapy to continue to sort out some of my issues because i believe that my progress over time will make me a better person and, eventually, a stable, valuable partner once i feel like i'm a well enough person to broach entering a relationship and falling in love, which is a nuanced and emotional process that requires the dedication of both parties. not my only goal, obviously, but becoming stable enough to create and maintain a romantic relationship definitely is one of my goals. i'd like to be able to be a kind and reasonable partner.
...but idk instead maybe i should just ghost my therapist and devote myself into my ✨feminine energies✨ and decide i play a role in some odd gender hierarchy tiktok can curate for my mind instead. seems so much faster and more rational, would definitely work out for me in the long run! 🙄
fr though, love your videos. you make engaging and insightful dives into your subject matter, be it soda shops or gender roles or whatever else you decide. i'm glad my love for van life and tradwife satire eventually led me to your longer form content
thank you so much for being here!! 💖💖
you are so right about the reality of organizing a future for yourself that requires you to be reliant and placing yourself at someone else's mercy. and if you can't keep up this false persona, or you gain 10 pounds, or you age, or you don't do the things he deems "your" work, he has all the power and money on his side to hold over you. you should be in the relationship because it makes you happy, not because it's too hard to leave.
The best way to start my Monday is with a new Tyler vid 🥰
Thanks for being here queeen
My husband loves me because I am a good person who loves him for who he is. He loves that I can be girly and assembled new furniture. We are partners and that had nothing to do with feminine or masculine energy.
The package crinkle noises made me so happy.
Totally not the point of the video, but I will be saying "it might just have a fun texture...and I like fun so it's okay" the next time I fuck up a recipe.
Yes love this. Also, when baking, combine the dry and wet ingredients separately before mixing.
I had to stop working because of chronic illness. I'm very fortunate that my spouse and I are able to live on just his salary, and I know it. It's tight, but we're getting by alright. But let me tell you, I worry every single day about what would happen if that income weren't there. I don't know why there are women out there who try to depend on someone else's income on PURPOSE. That's not realistic. It might have been decades ago, but not now. It's really scary and disempowering in our current economy to be dependent on someone.
Happy Summerween
And to you as well
And also to you
Summerween = more playful name for the food "summer sausage" 😂
@@rachel3620 I tried to provide some summerween fun at the park in winter and the police were called :((((
And also with you
So I love spirituality and woo woo stuff. I’m female/nonbinary and the idea of gender discourse entering spiritual spaces pisses me off. I left my traditional religious beliefs (Catholicism) to be free of gender expectations; not to create a rebranded version. It’s frustrating as hell to see when spirituality felt like a safe space for me. Thank you for talking about this! ❤
Oh my god, thank you so much for helping me touch grass. I am the eternal tomboy and feel so bad when I watch this kind of content. I've always struggled with feeling feminine enough.
Eta: my man is most obsessed with me when I'm: managing my finances, fixing something (just fixed the dishwasher), and updating my LinkedIn. I kid you not. He loves him an independent woman. Our friend started seeing a woman and his first two compliments were "she's beautiful" and "she has a mortgage." These men exist and don't want "divine feminine."
Don’t ever feel shame for who you are med love a good tomboy type especially since y’all are usually pretty and pretty chill lol and like ya said super independent it’s a great thing when a guy find a girl that actually her self and isn’t worried about being hyper feminine and I’m sure your more then feminine enough for him anyway congrats on winning the game of life lol I hope it continues!😊
In Ireland, women used to lose their jobs when they got married. I was always told that while it’s okay to be a stay at home parent, you need some possible source of income outside of your spouse. Have enough money in savings yourself that if things become sour, you have the ability to leave safely. It’s not only if the relationship becomes abusive, but if your spouse becomes unable to work, or dead. Have a skill you can use to make a living before you start relying on someone else. Whether it be doing nails or having a law degree.
I just scrolled past the first example yesterday and I was thinking the same thing! Thank you so much for posting this because I was just thinking what has the world come to? I used to be spiritual and I was a level 1 divine feminine girly, I still am. Think about it like in Spanish, there are gendered terms for everything. Example is desk is masculine and apple is feminine. Or right brain/left brain, logical vs empathetic and creative. But using this concept to create a hidden trad wife narrative is crazy! This is not at ALL what the spiritual teachings are trying to say!
MY DAY JUST LEVELED UP
Now MY DAY leveled up!!
@@tylerbenderr TYLER THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING I LOVE HOW MUCH YOU Communicate WITH YOUR SUBSCRIBERS! YOU ARE AN AMAZING AND HILARIOUS HUMAN AND I LOVE WATCHING YOUR VIDEOS!!!
@@clarasue0204 CLARA ILYYYY
@@tylerbenderr I LOVE YOU TOO
Haven’t finished the video: about frozen eggs, do you have 2 inches of space between the wall and your fridge? Every time I clean under it I push it back too far and stuff like this happens.
I think (and I think this is adding to trad wife culture too) the fact that women are expected to be "everything" in multiple economic, health, and social crises and men aren't really being given much guidance to do anything but be an incel or Andrew Tate about it is a huge issue. Most women I know are stressed out and exhausted all the time and feel like they have lost all sense of their person-hood because they have to be 24/7 mom to 2 kids, be full time nurse to their aging parents, AND hustle like 3 jobs to afford food and a roof over their heads. Guys are also exhausted from also working 3 jobs and feel like they also can't take doing any more and instead of being told "the entire situation is shitty but your wife/girlfriend can't work the same number of jobs as you do AND be full time mom and caregiver you have to find a way to help" they're being told to do weaponized incompetence and that it's not their job to help...or when they do try and help sometimes it society constantly calling the mom when the kid has issues at school when it was supposed to be her day in the office because everyone *else* assumes it's mom's job. This just makes women resent their lives and their husbands so much, which makes husbands feel really emasculated (which, again, drives them to things that tell them feminism is the problem and not a society that literally does not value them equally as a parent and caregiver and instead pushes all of that on the wife) and leads him to wish for "traditional" things (even though what they think is "traditional" is actually just a commercial, real life was never idealic), and then also the woman starts wishing for more traditional things (or the Halmark card version of traditional that leaves out all the nasty bits) because they sort of feel like at least back in the day they didn't have to do *everything* (even though, spoiler, if you working class, you still did...so your situation would not improve you just also now would be paid way less and wouldn't be able to open your own bank account). And so younger people in their late teens and 20s are seeing the "millennial and Gen X" crowd just be miserable as hell and they then want to return to something they feel was lost. But (as an older person myself) what we "lost" wasn't submissive wives and Chad husbands what we lost is the middle class ability to afford a house on a single income. We didn't "lose" feminine energy and masculine energy we lost affordable daycare and healthcare. That's what we actually lost.
Oh dear, have I just stumbled upon yet another creator whom I will end up subscribing to? Great vid 👍
Tyler, I LOVE your commentary on social issues! I can tell that you have an amazing heart and a keen eye for research. ❤
I am currently one of those stay at home moms on a budget. A tight budget. My ENTIRE life, this is what I thought was the dream. This is what I wanted, pined for, cried for. Well guess what? I hate it. It’s TERRIBLE. I’m not built for the SAHM life!!!!! Do what YOU want to do, don’t ever change who you are for a dude. Trust me!!!!
this shit IS the spiritual to qanon pipline
Lived in a hippie dominated area with a lot of trad coded women doing homeschooling (homeschooling can be absolutely fine but can also be done in a super weird harmful ways) and dabbled in the culture for a bit, can confirm this the qanon pipeline is real. A lot of "evolved" folks out there being transphobic and way more into gender roles than even some conservatives
Thank you for covering this! There is so much toxic advice shared by these dating coaches. Be an equal, be honest, be trustworthy and open…and be your own genuine self!!
Not me having a mild alcohol addiction & the best relationship I’ve ever had 18:23 🥂✌🏿
Ty for your service 💗💗🫡
Came here to say this
divine feminine is just literally pick me final boss level
I’m the black cat and my husband is my golden retriever (I prefer rogue and paladin) and my husband knows my every thought. Tbf my adhd info dumps are like 3/4s my thoughts. 🤷🏻♀️
love rogue and paladin as the preference hahah
i feel bad for the people who fall prey to extremely simplistic dating gurus. Im into my person because of values and other things unique to us.
19:18 there is a youtuber called karmalita who is basically like this. i don't like her or her culty fan base. talks down to plus size people but claims she's not "fatphobic" or whatver. talks down about women who's life's don't revolve around being deemed pretty by society. shames women for not being stick thin and therefore failing at life.
i'm sick of women trying to shame me and other women for not being what men what :/. and people like karmalita frame as this bitter truth to wake up women. what all literally say is "appeal to men's desires, conform to society's expectations for women (especially being conventionally attractive) and you can get what you want from men. if you don't, you're trying to hard and is a failure" oh wow. ground breaking information. men tell me that *all* the time.
and is always framed like they are supporting women. no they are not. shaming women who don't wear makeup, who don't want to be 90s model thin, etc etc is not supporting women :/. it's just repackaging misogyny for women to submit to it. at least karmalita is semi aware of this, but her fans (and similarly the people in this video) pretend like they manipulating men for what they want. but so many of these people weren't hyper feminine to begin with. they didn't submit to men's desires in the first place nor do they rlly want that. they don't do it bc it's true to them.
i just think it's lame for women to expect other women to give up and conform to a man's world, whether they truly mean well or not.
I HAVE THE SAME WITCH HAT!
This is the first long form video I’ve watched from you, (I found you on shorts) and you’re so smart and no bullshit I love it!
Thank you 💗💗💗
you should make a video where you do a deep dive into lana del rey’s career 💕
As a guy, I think a partner being competent and accomplished is a great thing. It reflects well on them. If anything, you'd want to get to know them even more. Wanting a trad wife is wanting a slave. It's a thing in Asia. Sane people are trying to get rid of it there. Why would you revert back to subjugation and lack of respect in your relationships?
Also, please don't do the hard to get thing. Everyone can communicate. This is akin to unhealthy manipulation and if the guy suspects you're doing it, it'll put a damper on the situation.
No one likes being messed around with during messaging or communication.
Also, if a guy is worried about your body count, they're probably misinformed or an ass. This is learned behaviour. It's false that most or all guys think like this. It varies greatly.
"I would just go over to Adam and Eve and...sorry that's inappropriate" GIRL U R TOO CUTE NO IT IS NOT STOP
The new popular topic is to do less, and attract more, which I feel can be problematic in its own way. It’s good to be in your “soft girl era” but any kind of extreme way of thinking can be dangerous.
Tyler I’m curious, have you known any girls personally who have been clearly affected by this divine femininity thing?
I’ll admit as a dude, until I watched this video, I had no idea that there was essentially a manosphere for women. I was a senior in high school during the rise of Andrew Tate. I had to cut off close friends who were influenced by him and became so blatantly racist, homophobic, misogynistic as a result. It basically became their ENTIRE personality and was scary (one of them legit shaved their head to look more like Andrew Tate it was crazy bruh)
If there are a decent number of women legitimately being influenced by divine femininity, that makes me kinda concerned. I haven’t dated or even been friends with any girl who would seem to watch that type of content, so I guess that’s created unawareness regarding divine femininity.
I just find it crazy how these two things work together to create inauthentic relationships and dynamics between men and women. The manosphere paints women out as objects to be pleased, divine femininity paints men out as objects to be pleased. I’ve really hated how much going backwards has been encouraged in recent years and has frankly ruined people.
Ye I know what you mean it’s really weird lately in general everyone seems to wanna go back to the old stuff we got rid of for hoood reason but paint it and flip its meaning just enough to be presented as something new but used on ppl in the same way but ppl don’t want to see it really is concerning
fwiw we've been in fourth wave feminism for a while, but i completely agree with your concerns that this kind of mindset and cultural rhetoric could very easily play a significant role in undoing a lot of social progress that has been a constant uphill battle to achieve
This is triggering my anger, because I grew up Mormon. Especially the woman in the purple flower shirt. Exactly what i heard growing up!
Amazing takes as always
This isn’t entirely new. Back in the 90s, there was a book called “The Rules,” that peddled the same kind of message. It’s sad how lost young people are when it comes to approaching relationships.
LOVE this video and all of your takes! If I may gently push back on one ending comment, “give people basic respect and respect will come back to you”, I actually think this isn’t true. To me, the divine femininity movement is a coping mechanism for a society in which men and women aren’t raised to be equally considerate of each other. Since women giving men basic respect hasn’t been reciprocated historically, women look for any ways they can obtain a fragment of control. Not even over other people - but over the outcome of their own life. It’s yet another version of, “if I just act right they’ll treat me better.” A common coping mechanism when one is caught in a relationship with a narcissist, which sadly I think is the case for most women who aren’t single.
I worship chaos, so I have taken this opportunity to hype up all my bro friends by complimenting them on how in tune they are with their 'divine feminine energy' when they do something good. 😎
I just discovered your channel, and I really like what you do! You are so right, the way you conclude should be absolutely obvious to anyone.
(I like making chocolate chips cookies too and I laughed a lot seeing that you were eating the raw mix 😆)
This is all routed in weird conservative-spiritual gender roles & is incredibly misogynistic / designed to control woman and turn them into subservient little playthings for men.
And if you're a man who doesn't identify with non-traditional masculine principles, where does that leave you? You're considered weak, a bad provider, etc.
Where is all this crap coming from?
This was a beautifully put together video.
Wild, you yelled frick immediately before the commercial played haha