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Foster Care Adoption Placement It's a Boy!
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I swear your channel is a Godsend to me! I got my adoption license today and I also got matched with two foster care placements. Straight out the gate, they tried to get me to match me with two sibling sets who had one kid that met what I specified that I would want or could handle. The other child in each set was not what I felt comfortable dealing with. I felt so bad saying no. One of the sets was also not black they were caucasian with blue eyes. Although I told them I didn't care about ethnicity, I immediately felt an internal conflict. I am definitely African American. Your video helped me feel comfortable sticking to my gut and also to feel comfortable and confident having a multicultural plan. If you start your FB group I will definitely join!
Sometimes the journey happens so quickly! And even though we feel bad declining children, we have to do what’s best for us...because ultimately it’s what’s best for the child. We don’t want to end up resentful towards a child we are supposed to love and care for.
Watching this was so relieving!
I love the transparency!!
I used to watch your journey with Isaias and now I'm going through the process to be a single foster mother and I am open to adopt...so I'm back and I love your honesty.
OMG I think you're delightful...video dropped in my feed...I'm in DC...I'm an AAF gonna be licenced Resource Parent in just a few weeks ..I'm so excited...Single new empty nester so I'm older than you...
I praise you for your strength and what you are doing for the community. It doesn't matter what nationality the children are, they need love and care. Keep doing what you are doing, God’s going to bless you abundantly. God bless you and your extended blended family.
I love your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being transparent.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY RETURNED HIM!! 😭😭 He has been through so much already.
Congratulations!!! Your videos give me so much inspiration to keep going on my foster/adopt journey. I love the updates on your beautiful growing family.
Congratulations on the new addition to your family
Probably little late but gripe water and gas drops are great for colic.
We have a 2 foster sons. Our 1st is much like your little, he's the youngest of 8!! We have had him since he was 4 days old and he just turned 1 last Wed. And our newest little we brought home on the 8the of April, at 9 days old. I'm so happy to have found your channel!
I move in a few weeks and will then be sending off my foster care & adoption paperwork!! (Not really wanting to adopt -only 21- mainly interested in fostering)
I would love the group! I want to foster/adopt in the future. I would also LOVE to hear your perspective on the Stauffer family. It would be interesting to hear from a former CPS worker.
How exciting! Congrats and good job. We need more loving parents in the world. ❤️
I love to stay in the loop and show love and support ♥️ watching your videos and Holden it Down definitely inspires me to foster one day
Your videos always make my day! Definitely interested in the Facebook group and sharing resources! I'm tired of people looking at me like I have three heads every time I say I want to adopt from the foster care system. lol
😂
God bless you!!!!! Thanks for sharing your journey and your love.
Thank you!!!
Yessss, please do a video. I would love your take on that family that return that poor baby.
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your journey.
Making a difference one child at a time. You have a good heart.
Thank you Liney
When you were talking with your son about how families don't always look the same it reminded me of a book that I bought called, Wild About You!, by Judy Sierra. I love this book. Children like that it's about animals and families working together and helping each other. It was recommended by another TH-camr, KAIT - Love Mother's Co. She's also a foster momma.
Thank you for the suggestion, I will google it and check it out!
yes I would love to be in that group I want to adopt but don't know where to start
I would love to hear your perspective on the situation of the TH-camrs returning the little boy.
Yes
My husband and I are new foster parents licensed around the same time as you but we’ve only had one placement who stayed overnight before reuniting with bio family members. Like you, we are also hoping to adopt. Thank you for this page. I needed a little encouragement while waiting for our next placement. Good luck on your foster to adopt journey!
Thank you so much & many blessings on your journey!!!
Thank you! 🥰😘
Whoa! Big adjustment coming 😲. Yes, create the group!
You also have to see the family side. CPS often makes the determination from day 1 to not to assist the mother and ignore the family for permanent placement and find foster types that want to adopt a baby. CPS wont allow visits, video, nothing. He left with just a few hours notice. We were not able to maybe have a teleconference with the fosters to explain his colic, gerd, and medical issues, etc...We had our grandson taken from us after 6 months and placed 4 hours away to a family that just so wanted to adopt him after only 1 month. Hmmm... We did nothing wrong but care for him day 1 We still want him but because we said conservatorship vs adoption in order to see if daughter can get herself together. Immediately the DA and Ad Litem said he was in immediate danger so remove him ASAP! All because we said conservatorship and that we got our daughter in a 60 day rehab program. Yes, it has been a court battle and still going. They are dead set at adoption so he will never know his brother, sister, other grandparents. Trust me, I know the GERD and Colic issue. By 6 months we had him set with exactly how to feed, when to use simethicone, Nexium, burp. Too bad CPS refused to forward our info so he had to suffer quite a while before the foster family figured out what took us 6 month to get him stable.
Me!!! I am a foster parent and always open to support groups ❤️
Learning so much from you. ☺️ I’m also a single parent. I adopted my daughter when she was 3 months old. My heart just broke for your little baby. Please be careful with sharing all those details about him.
Absolutely! I agree about not over sharing.
Tephaney Stewart Can’t wait to see his journey❤️
Great Video!! I have shared my experience growing up in foster care on my channel as well
Thank you. I hope I’m not asking too much of an intimate question...but were you adopted, returned to your parent(s), or did you age out in care?
Awww that’s a Blessing thanks for the info. I want to adopt as well.
I’m interested in your group! Former CPS worker strongly considering getting licensed for foster/adopt now :) You are so inspiring!
Which state are you from?
Tephaney Stewart CA too! Bay Area, if your old FFA serves this area or if you recommend a different one I would love to know your opinion
I think it would be great idea to start a fb group.
Congratulations on your new placement!
Thank you!! And I thought the FB group would be a good idea, glad you’re interested!
@@TephaneyStewart I have two beautiful children through adoption. I'm excited to follow along in your journey.
My son was born with Stridor, was severely colic and had severe reflux. He ended up on several medications early on and had to take a specialized formula. I was/am a single mom. Talk about sleep deprived!! I feel you. With all his crying I, too, thought it was me. I was devastated because he came to me as an adoptive placement and I wasn't giving up MY SON. It took 7 1/2 looong weeks to get my son in the right meds and formula. All has turned out well. You got this!
I’d love to be in the group! Single foster to adopt soon to be. Home study is approved next up is selection committee interview 🙌🏼
Woot woot! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
I’ve always been interested in foster to adopt but in a single woman and I don’t know how that works!
I’ve had my placement for 7.5 months. His plan is still reunification, but someday we want so badly to adopt from foster care! ❤️
How old is he?
Tephaney Stewart he had just turned 4 when we got him. He will be 5 in October. But there is a chance he may be home before his birthday.
He is our second placement. We had 2 little boys under 2 for 6 days before him. They went to a biological aunt less than a week coming in to foster care. We were happy for them. And of course will be happy for our current placement if he gets to go home too.. we just want so badly to adopt!
Yes ! I need to network 😭😭💕 can’t seem to find any foster parents in my immediate circle
Would love a private group... Congrats on your new little love
Thank you 😊
I would love for you to start a group! I have been going back and forth with starting and stopping the process. I really wanna do it this year.
Wow, you hear people say how hard it is to get an infant you are blessed. It would break my heart to see a tiny baby like that with bruises.
It can be hard to get infants. But he is part of a large sibling set (8) and the other foster homes the children are split into couldn’t take them due to space issues or didn’t want a baby. So they were asked first and I feel like it’s taboo to say the following, but... lucky me. If they hadn’t passed I believe I’d still be waiting on placement. I had just gotten approved and had a nursery all set up... and the placement worker had me fresh on her mind she said. So truly lucky me.
Congratulations on the weight loss too.
Lol 😂 it wasn’t intentional but thank you! I’m excited...I keep looking at myself in the mirror like “who that” lol
Awesome content. I am interested in a group
Well pop over to Facebook and look up Shades of Adoption!!!! We’d love to have you 🙂
We have literally the same story minus the siblings I have a 2month old fs who is Caucasian and I am totally in love he is a beautiful expression of God's unconditional love God is amazing just when you thought you knew the answers he shows us his plan
Aww i just love seeing other foster mommie out there ..im one myself looking for other forster mommies to network with
You’re such a great human Tephaney!!! Is that a Boys & Girls Club T-shirt?
Lol yes it is
Tephaney Stewart 18 years working with them I’d recognize those knuckles anywhere!! Great organization and amazing people!!!
Honestly having 8 children.. Reunification will be extremely hard especially if one parent isn't cooperating. What gets me most is many parents start the whole reunification process because they feel obligated vs because they really genuinely want to. Its hard to explain but so true. They love their children of course but many know they cannot be the parents they need to but if they don't at least put in any effort it makes them appear to be as if they don't love their children if they dont at least "try" but if they "try" then they dont feel as bad losing them at the end or its also easier to tell family/friends well I tried and failed. I hope that made sense but it would be so much easier if they completed a TPR from the jump instead of giving these kids false hope.. And also give them a better chance at being adopted through a foster placement.
As a social worker, unfortunately I have seen many parents pretend to be interested in reunification and pretend to make an effort to save face for themselves and to be able to say to their children “I tried”. But I think in this case, she truly loves and wants all of her children.
Yes i would love a group! I have guardianship of two of my little cousins.
How long have you had guardianship for?
Tephaney Stewart I got them through foster care first in September 2017. Then i got guardianship January 2020.
Please keep us updated!!!!
I get the feeling your going to keep him, and one or two of his siblings...if not all 3 ... Idk i just get that feeling. Blessing to you and your beautiful family
Lol Idk about being a single mother to 5...this last week has been...frightening 😂. Until this weekend I was scared 😂 😂. 0, 1, 3, 5, & 5 by myself...I just literally started to see the rainbow 🌈 in all the chaos. It has been a lot. Praise the Lord for getting everyone on a schedule, nap time, and for home grocery delivery.
@@TephaneyStewart Lol I can understand that. I'm definitely praying for you! It's funny because we never know how strong we are or how much we can take until we reach that point. Your doing a great job! And I know for a fact,even if you don't keep all of them, they will most definitely remember this! I wanna be like you when I grow up! Lol!
Get a solly wrap and you can wear him all day, which helps with reflux and gives you free hands
I could use some support, family and friends just don't get it.....😣
If anybody understands what that is like, I do! Drop a group name on the post I just created and let’s get this group started!!!
Hope all is well
All is well!!! I hope the same for you as well 😊
You have a new subscriber! We were recently approved, and called for a newborn but as things change quickly he ended up not coming into our care. Thing is how do you tell the caseworker that you would prefer a child of African american descent? We have the boxes checked off but the newborn was Caucasian so I assumed they just didnt look at our paperwork.... Just seems like something difficult to even mention I dont want to appear racist
Honestly, I don’t think a lot of placement workers really look at the boxes checked. They are just trying to place kids all day as quickly as possible. But I think adoption social workers would rather you be honest about the ethnicity of your desired child...I was honest and said I’ll be open to consider any child that may be a match, but my heart’s desire and eyes naturally gravitate towards black/brown children. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to give a child that looks like me a loving and permanent home. But as life has it, my latest fostering experience has me now extremely open to children of all ethnicities. And I’m willing to foster their growth and knowledge within their culture should it be different from my own.
@@TephaneyStewart I truly appreciate your response and will be taking your advice. Sending you many blessings from the East Coast ✨ You will meet your son or daughter soon!
Love to join a group with you. I first found your channel last year when I started the process to fost/adopt. There aren't many single mom's in the community. Just got placement of my son 7 weeks ago!
Woot woot! Congratulations on the placement!!!
I would love to join the the group! I'm the process now I hope to be licensed soon!!
I would be excited for you to start a group. I got my placement when he was 4 days old, I picked him up from the hospital. I’ve had him for almost 4 months now and he’s awesome!
Aweeeeee that’s amazing! How is your reunification process going so far? Are they saying they are leaning towards adoption, extending reunification another few months, or returning to bio parent?
Tephaney Stewart we’ve been having zoom meeting with bio mom. Just had the family team meeting today discussing in person visits. The caseworker is pushing for adoption but at the end of the day it’s up to the judge, so I’m just loving on him as much as possible. We haven’t had a court date yet because the courts shut down in Illinois right when I got him.
@@keyronaughtry prays for the best outcome with baby boy. If you don't mind...Keep me posted!
Tephaney Stewart I definitely am and I will be sure to keep you posted!
Try gripe water for his collic
I did. It was a hit and miss situation. This fad medicine (some name I can’t remember) seems to help some though. Thanks for the suggestion!
@@TephaneyStewart how's it going girl? You definitely will have to do another video ☺
Congratulations!
I would like to hear your perspective on the TH-cam family who gave up their adopted son and the Gabriel Fernandez case. Since you do live in California and so do he
Unfortunately with the Gabriel case, instances like that happen far more than it should. I have first hand knowledge of workers and a supervisor encouraging his workers to fabricate visits, reports and documents... lying on parents. Truly disgusting. And yes I reported them to upper management. But nothing was done. But that’s because the management was poor in that particular bureau I was in at that time.
You should get the baby adjusted by a chiropractor. With all the abuse he endured he may be out of alignment which would make him colicky. ❤️
How is your son adjusting to having a baby in the house? I was licensed to foster/adopt in March. I have had three calls but wasn't able to take any of them.
It has been an adjustment for us all. He was over the baby in the first few days. He said “I didn’t know he would cry so much”... but now two months later, the baby is starting to smile and coo and so he’s able to engage with him more... making him more enjoyable in his eyes lol.
I would love a Facebook group! I am about to start the foster to adoption process as a single gal and would love to have a place to go for community!
Would love to join Facebook! I am so very sorry this extended visit crap happened rrrgggggg makes me so 😡
I'm so interested in that group!!
Does it cost a lot to adopt a newborn?
From where? From the foster care system it is technically free to adopt all children, no matter the age. However, there are minimal associated costs for getting licensed to adopt (background/finger printing, setting the room up etc)...and at the same time these are tax deductible after your adoption finalizes. So you technically get the money back.
I would love having a facebook page!!
yes, need yr help?
Awwwwwwwww I’m so excited
I would love to be part of that group.
I’m going to post a video today with the info and link!
Congratulations!!! I have a question, how does fostering work if you are a working individual?
Just like any non-fostering parent. You find/make arrangements for the child(ren) in your care. You’re responsible for any bill, if applicable, though. Usually the foster care stipend isn’t enough to cover daycare. But depending on where you live, there are some daycare/child care/preschool programs available free of cost for foster children. I know a lot of families who utilize their family members, or if they are a two parent household, one is a stay at home parent. Me? I’ve always had to go the daycare route. Which was free while he was a foster child and then I had to pay for once our adoption finalized.
I think if you're going to talk about the Stauffers you should watch their video explanation first just to get a more whole picture.
I would also love to be in your Facebook group for single Foster to Adopt moms! I have good and not so good news on the foster care subject. I could use your advice as you are a social worker. I did have an emergency placement of a three- year- old little girl on July 3rd. I was called at 1:00 a.m. I was so excited! She did go right to sleep when she came. But, the next morning she woke up screaming as she was terrified of my dog and cat. This went on throughout the day, and it was stressful for myself and the poor little girl. I told the worker that it was probably best if they found a new placement in a home with no pets.as she was so terrified of my two pets. :( I feel like my worker is very understanding. But, I have felt bad about this and having to end the placement. I am praying for the Lord to send me another placement soon! I don’t want the placement team to hesitate about calling me now because of this. Any advice? 🙂
Funny enough, my son was originally terrified of our dogs when I brought him home. His exact word (at 2 yrs old) was “monsters!!! 😂 And the siblings to the infant I have, were also afraid of the dogs...now they can’t get enough of each other.
I wish we could have spoken before you called the social worker. I would have advised you to give her time to adjust. Try a friendly introduction to one animal at a time (while holding and comforting her, but still keeping a respectful distance from the animals), and then keep them separate from one another for another day or two. But continue to take her to view the animals throughout the day just to say hello and see how nice and fun or silly they are. And as she warms up, ask if she’d wants to let them sniff her hand or kiss her hand etc. If she has not had a traumatic animal encounter she just needed time to adjust. Or it could have also been the heightened emotions of being in a new home, with a new caregiver etc. So hyper emotional and overreacting to things she may or may not have had issues with prior could have been a result of the trauma of removal. So next time if you’re placed with a child who’s a little untrusting of your pets, just give it some time. Especially since most families have an animal and chances are the social worker just had her placed in the next available home without even inquiring about pets. Children are so resilient and adaptable.
Tephaney Stewart Thank you so much for your reply and advice! I really wish I could have got your message before I requested new placement. I will take your advice for next time if a child is afraid of my pets.
Yes please I would love to join the group
Hey, I will like to be added to Facebook group. Thanks nadia
Video with the Facebook link coming later today
Hey Tephaney !! Love your channel ! Would you be willing to share the name of the agency that offers adoptions from other states ? Thanks !
Join the private FB group (video w/ link coming today) and I’ll message you. Have to be protective of where I live, not everyone on here has been friendly 🙂
I would love to join your fb group if you create one. I’m a fellow foster mama!
I’m posting a video today with the details!
Wait how do you find agencies that can help you adopt from a different state ?! 😱😱🤯
It depends on the agency. Just ask if it’s a service they provide in addition to local/foster care placement.
I would love to start a group
Let’s do a group! We are starting this process now and would love any and all support and information from others that have gone through it or are going through it now.
How exciting! Where are you in your journey?
Literally the very beginning. Just went through the whole application process and I’m already over how little direction there is in my state. I’m in Idaho and it seems like everyone points you in a different direction, but we know the frustration will come to an end someday and God will bless us!
@@Danielle-hr1lr And from being on the social worker side of it I never understand the "passing". It's usually because people are being lazy & don't want to do their jobs. Sorry to here that. Did you consider getting licensed through a private/foster family agency instead? The same children, same expenses....just a more streamlined and support process (in most cases).
I actually just reached out to one today after seeing your videos! I figured that would be the best way to go since we have no clue what we’re doing here 😂
I would love FB group
I’m foster mom of two teen girls, I’m wait for that call to adoption, I received my license in March and received a call week later but those kid never show up when back with family members...
What age and gender are you going to adopt?
Tephaney Stewart girl toddler or teenager
what the fuck?