[M4A] Oblivious Cultist Tries to Sacrifice You to Yourself [Deity Listener] [Deception] [Fantasy]
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- You stop by a restaurant for a quick meal, but the waiter there has some more devious plans for you.
Script credit: SplashiestPig
Art credit: picrew.me/imag...
![[M4A] Oblivious Cultist Takes You to Your Church [Deity Listener] [Part Two] [Fantasy]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kwI9dtBKtXc/mqdefault.jpg)
![[M4A] Oblivious Cultist Takes You to Your Church [Deity Listener] [Part Two] [Fantasy]](/img/tr.png)
![[M4A] Your Supervillain Minion Is In Love With You [Supervillain Listener] | ASMR Roleplay](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YT9W2yv2guA/mqdefault.jpg)
"Do you want to join this cult?"
I *AM* THE CULT
ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US
@@djwolf3810 yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssss yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssss yayasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyasyas
@@djwolf3810 O N E O F U S
@@NapalmStick *O N E O F U S*
*O N E O F US*
*O N E O F U S*
Y/n: Reveals to be the deity he's trying to do a sacrifice for
Jupiter: I've done all the calculations necessary,but man,am I bad at maths
Lmao ikr 😅
The math isn't mathing
Is that a quote from somewhere
"You will be a PERFECT sacrifice for our lord."
"I AM YOUR LORD!"
This makes "I AM the manager" look like a joke
@@jakubfabijanczuk8221 agreed😂
This makes me think of DBZ TFS with that scene:
"Do you believe your own hype THAT much?"
"I AM THE HYPE!!"
*ultrakill music intensifies*
“You definitely look fit”
“Thanks bro”
😉
💪👔👍
🩳
👢👢
Drippin
. 🌵
. 👖
👢👢
SLAY!
🤫
🧥
👖
🥾🥾
@@Kiyagarretfisher Yas queen
Me to the cultist: you translated "sacrifice" wrong,the right translation it's offering insted of sacrifice,since you gave me food i can't be upset by the fact you tried sacrifice me to myself,even that being odd
I love this comment I don't know why it's funny but it is
"i offer My God, so My good Will bless me". Teezench:Uhhh Nice.
Him: what are you 7'2 ?
Me 5'3: I will take that as the best compliment I have ever gotten
Same
Me chilling in the corner being 5'9:* chuckles in tall*
I am 5ft and laugh at this😂
My being 5’4: Agreed man
More like the biggest
I imagine the listener is just here just like: "man that food was good but where is my cul- OOOOHHHHH"
Well, there it is
Jupiter: "you seem pretty forgiving"
Me: "yeah well when ya lives 500+ years you get to know....things"
"welcome to the cultist cookery"
*first red flag, great!*
Then the excessive comments on how we look *is concerned in what are you planning to do with it*
“No allergies? Great!”
NO I SAID NUT ALLERGY-
I am lactose intolerant so not technically allergic but my toilet is my best friend if I have too much lactose🤣🤣🤣
*him complimenting me and calling me healthy and fit*
*me with my mental illnesses and gender dysphoria*
Mood
Mood 😌
Mood -w-
"healthy and fit" is gender neutral.
@@cxntaur never said it wasn’t
Him" your meal will be out before you can say goat blood."
Me"goat blood."
Him" here it is"
Me"what the heck 🤣🤣🤣"
I did that too😂
Him: **trying to sacrifice us to ourselves**
Well I’m both scared and flattered at the same time
Same, it is thoughtful but WHAT THE FUCK
The cultist: You’re the great one?!? *Bows before me*
Me, about 5min later: Somft… *does the equivalent of burying myself in a pile of blankets in his mind*
I love this so much
:D SOMFT **joins you**
*somft*
*SOMFT!*
Omg yes *somft*
Much somft, many cozy
"What are you, like 7'2?"
My 5'2 ass: Yes.🧍♀️
Mood
"Have you ever been baptized into a religion?"
Me an OG barbie fan: Yes the BIBBLE religion...
OH MY
Lil opera singer😂
The ultimate "I am the manager"
Him : your like 7 ft
Me: I'M FINALLY TALL !!!!
"You passed with flying colors"
Me who's favorite color is apparently orange: 👉💨💨🟠🍊🔸️🧡
If it makes you feel any better, when I was writing this, I imagined that Orange was the wrong answer. That you had to have any favorite color except orange to qualify as a host.
@@SplashiestPig Same. I’m not a fan of most shades of orange so that’s how I interpreted it too
Cultist: Aren't you scared or something?
Me: This is another Tuesday to me...
Cultist: What?
Me: Also Friday
Also every month
@@djwolf3810 Also every year
@@morganlovesedger2768 also Every decade
@@MommyJustice Also every millennial
And Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday.
I cackled at the "hey real question, are yiu sure this isn't just schizophrenia?" Lmaoooll
I thought this was going to be a continuation of the story where the guy who thinks you are an incarnation of a dark deity, but in reality, he just got "visions" from being hungry and eating moldy food.
I rmb that one LMAOO
HUH
Me who's oc is a deity: This. Is. My. Time.
Same lmao
Yep
Same tho
Same bro
Same
"big thing like you"
*are you calling me fat-*
Him:You look fit and you're tall
Me who is short and cubby:😭👍
ME TOO I honestly got so offended when he was like "you're big you must work up an appetite" before he said TALL.
@@Yogsy at least doors ain't a problem for you guys my head still hurts from a doorway
@Yogsy, for real, my insecurities were about to say, Hey
Him: You're like 7' sumthin
Me, 5'3": 🤡
Jupiter: you're a perfect vessel
me: "A perfect being you said?" *continues to regale jupiter using Mayuri's speech on perfection*
Him: “What are you like 7’2
Me: “nope but almost 6’0
😌
Me: "nope but almost 5'4"
To reveal your prophecized return, you've got to Stay Hydrated!
My five foot nothing ass was very pleased at the 7” thing I love it
Him: I promise I won't slack off now that you're here
Me: bruh we ain't getting nothing done now that I'm here 😂
5:39
*looks at entirely orange room and orange phone case*
“No.”
!!! This script was so buried, I didn’t think it was going to get voiced! I'm so happy to hear it!
I didn’t know we were a EATING AT THE DEVILS DINNER I thought THIs WAS DENNYS
Him: "Where our food will keep you coming back for more!"
Weighing scale: "Nuh uh gorl-"
This was really great!! Loved and enjoyed every moment of it!! Thank you Jupiter! Keep up the great work and stay hydrated ~
*unhinges jaw to eat the cake*
Me: *passes out*
My mind: dang it, I got drugged again
Yep it happens every day
@@frenchtoast9158 yep 👍🏻
I imagine that this deity just shows up on earth from time to time to check what their cult is up to lol, also someone said that the scriptures say offering and not sacrifice, like food, and I like that a lot
Me: *giggling the whole time*
The idea of a restaurant based of a cult is awesome
him: table, booth, or bar?
me: oh just a booth-
him: bar it is!
Man, I love being a Deity >:D
Ngl that restaurant's menu sounds pretty good, the crucifixes especially sound like tasty garlic bread. But how dare they drug cake of all things. Also if you're a God's vessel but still in there, are you still sacrificed? Maybe just "given" or "offered"? And what did cultist-kun mean with the question about having sex with something NOT living like is he talking about necrophilia or like...doing it with a lich or something?
The jokes on him my food will always be free in the sense of me being a deity I could just create money >:D
"I'll have that out to you before you can say goat blood."
Me: Goat blood.
"Here it is."
Me: Wait wha-
God I’m so excited for the next part bc they’re gunna pop up all cool bc the cult didn’t believe him
5:38 Why, yes! Yes it is!
(Ngl hearing this surprised me though LMAO)
LOL!!!!
My reaction to reading this title is literally that Patrick gif of him running amd then stopping in midair
A very entertaining audio I love it 😆
“Kinda new to this whole chosen thing”
Hah, fatherless
(If this is offensive to anyone I’ll delete it immediately)
Me:*is tall* I never thought that day would come
That was an interesting concept, and a fun audio overall. I hope there's a part 2.
8:08 literally made me laugh 😂😂
My dumbass: I AM DEITY YOU WORSHIP 😊
Can you do a part 2 please? I loved this!
This was very creative and interesting. Great job!
Me: Ok something you should know is that I don’t really do the whole sacrifice thing. That was a translation error on your part. Hey, chill out it’s not that big of a deal. Accidents happen. Now that I’m here I can just rewrite it all for you. *writes down the script to sonic the hedgehog 2006* There. All do- hey where’s everyone going?
This was a funny rollercoaster XD
In love with this concept!! I hope we get more like this!!
This concept is wild and I am here for it 😂
i feel like i got here “to” fast🤨😃 not complaining tho💅
That was the cutest thing omg
“Well, I cannot deny the dedication you have to me, so…thank you?”
Can we get a part 2 pliz!!!!!!!
no bcs when he said “a big thing like you “ i thought he was calling me fat😭
what is wrong with me that 100th customer thing sounds like a pop up add😭y would i take the deal
FOUR SECONDS?!?
what flavor was that cake byw
come to teh freezing that isn’t sanitary
🧍🏾♀️
Please tell me there's gonna be a part 2
This is different and interesting
Is this going to be a series? I adore this so much!
; )
“You ARE the Great One?” Yeah, sure. Aha
Him: better hope you're eyes aren't wrighting a check your mouth can't keep,ive got the timer ready remember you've got to have this plate clean is 30 seconds ready,go!
Me: *puts the entire thing into my mouth*
Him: wow 4 seconds thats just about the fastest I've someone pull this off
Me: 😊
YOU DARE SACRIFICE ME TO MYSELF MORTAL????!!!!!!!
Him: Finally.. is your favorite color orange?
Me: good god it's one of my guys isn't it..?
Can you please please please please make a part 2 please 🥺
; )
“What are you? 7’2?”
Me, 5’0: “yeah😀
….
🤡🤡🤡”
Him: is your favorite color orange?
Me: how did you know!?!
"is this just schizophrenia" HELP
There's a park right?
(Edit:
I meant part 2)
Hahahahahahaa that’s hilarious
I'm assuming since we are a deity we don't believe in red flags.
Edit i meant care about instead on believe in
No we do, We just don't give a fuck, we still are a deity afterall
Fun fact Jupiter is the Roman name for Zeus
Oh how the turn tables
Wohoo my oc’s a god! Hehe
*while getting up*
That cake was delicious
Even with the drugs
Part 2?
; )
He got no manners. He shouldnt speak to a woman like that. HE CALLED US BIG😂😢. I mean i am pretty tall since i am actually dutch so 😂
1:06 oh
Cut the cameras my favor color is orange 📸
Him: i hope you have a second stomach
Me: I WILL SET YOUR HAIR ON FIRE BECAUSE HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME?!
My Best Friend: Relax bestie. You can commit arson on a Minecraft Vilage later
Yes WORSHIP your blood goddess!😈
AYAYAYYAAY IM FIRST
Dreamer approves 😴👍🏽
1:13 I am 7’2? Huh?
Thank you, Sir. Huh!? No. Nope. I do work out. Um... Okay. No, I'm fine. Gulp* finished. Yeah, okay. Unhh... Mmmmh... Huh? You drugged me! No. Once. No. Of course not! No. Nope. What's the God's name? What are they the God of? this doesn't seem true. That's all I needed to hear. I'm impressed. You've passed the test. I'm already a member. I am the great one. Stand. Yes, human! You doubt me? I am the Neko Goddess. I have a chosen disciple. You are the one. Yes. I will give you the power of Miracles. Poof! No. I am here. Yes, I'm fine in here. Yes, human.
How did I count to 12 in 4 second?
I've watched this so many times I can't even count anymore 😭
this is such a cute concept and you delivered it very well!!
Him:" you'll be a perfect sacrifice to our Lord"
Y/n : mf IAM YOUR LORD 😑😤🙄
🤣🤣 what an awesome script! i love the funny ones, really adds to the whimsy of the roleplay category
Is there any more coming because I'd love more
Him; “You definitely look fit”
Me🐖: “why thank you”
Also this concept is absolutely hilarious, and your delivery of the script is perfect- I love it lmao
SAME-
bro same 💀
Exactly like nah man I’m fat as hell
Same
My lifestyle:🐷
*Chuckles Under His Breath After He Eats The Cake Cause He Can Taste The Drugs:* *”Oh. I’ve Been Drugged. Well I Might As Well Play With My Little Cultist Boy.”*
Ah yes we all know one of those nieve little cultist boys
Yes
This sounds seriously sus when you say it like that
@@reillythompson
That’s the idea!