History Hijinks: Greek Wise Guys
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
- When I first studied Ancient Philosophy in college I thought it was engaging and interesting to discuss and whatever, but only years later did I come to appreciate the true hilarity of these Wise-Guys.
SOURCES & Further Reading: Plato's Dialogues (Apology & Republic), Aristotle's Ethics, Gorgias' Encomium of Helen, and when direct sources aren't available, there's a bucketload of great write-ups from Stanford: plato.stanford.edu/entries/pr... , plato.stanford.edu/entries/de... , plato.stanford.edu/entries/ar... , plato.stanford.edu/entries/pl... , plato.stanford.edu/entries/so...
This video was edited by Sophia Ricciardi AKA "Indigo". www.sophiakricci.com/
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"If I were not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes."
"If I was not Diogenes, I would also want to be Diogenes."
what an idol
Just the (likely apocryphal) quote I was looking for!
Humanity's first, and most dedicated, shitposter.
@@jasondoe2596 except he was kinda right most the time
@@wofls2713 Did Jason stutter?
Alexander: "Nice to meet you, I'm famous"
Diogenes: "Get bent"
Alexander: "He's so cool!"
Sempai noticed me! UWU!!
Alexander: ,,Bring me a Barrel, I'm living here now!"
Makedons: ,,...but my King, the Persian Campaign...."
Alexander: ,,Oh fine, but afterwards I'll live here!"
Alexander and Hephaestion were already pretty bent tbf
@@alexemy2463 XD
more like
Diogenes "Hi famous I'm Diogenes"
Alexander "He's so cool!"
In Hades:
Hades (reads the report): So let me get this straight Charon, Diogenes spent years on the coast of the Styx river because he did not care to pay you, and you only took him now because you could not take it anymore, and I quote: "to see him constantly pee into the Styx river"?
Ngl this needs more likes
That man would be DOUBLE the LEGEND he already was when he was alive cuz he has the guts AND balls to be soo bold in the Underworld that it even leaves Hades unable to deal with him in an examplary way!?!?
DAMN,I THINK I LOVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW WITH THIS NEW HEADCANNON!?!?XD 😂😂
@@rogueflare4929 why would Hades have to "deal" with him though? The Underworld is a pretty chill place, except for Tartarus of course.
@@atuljha6128 put him into tartarus. Or if hades is feeling nice. Put him into asphodel
There's a series of brief satirical scenes written by Lucian of Samosata called the "Dialogues of the Dead." The main characters are Cynic philosophers (including Diogenes) basically doing exactly this all across the underworld! They're pretty easy to find online if you're interested
I actually really like Plato, and not just because he's a bearded wise man who taught youngsters in a school while also being jacked enough to duel any opponent into submission. He reminds me of me in that regard.
Obi-Wan get a job already.
@@jaegar2786 Pretty sure Jedi don't need payments.
Why are you everywhere?
@@johnbones3455 the force is everywhere in everything, it surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the Galaxy together.
GENERAL KENOBI!
Diogenes is seriously a legend. After pulling that stunt with the chicken, the academy was forced to expand the definition of man to "featherless biped with broad flat nails". He wandered around the streets of Athens with a lamp in broad daylight, claiming to be searching for "an honest man, but finding nothing but rascals and scoundrels". He threw the only cup he carried to drink water with when he saw a peasant child using its hands to do so out of a puddle, then declared ""Fool that I am, to have been carrying superfluous baggage all this time!". And finally, his words of wisdom: "In a rich man's house, there is no place to spit but his face".
I think good life advice is to be as strong and well-spoken as Plato, but be as brash and bold as Diogenes.
My favorite story was the one where he and a bunch of other philosophers were sitting in a room together. The subject of an interesting paradox came up: since they had no concept of the number zero, they argued that TECHNICALLY it was impossible to leave a room, since you could be one to a hundred percent in but never less than that (did I say an interesting paradox? I meant 'incredibly stupid').
Our boy Diogenes stood up, told them he had an easy answer to that, and just fucking walked right out of the room like a boss.
@@caseykendall5506 Those philosophers sound like they were high as fuck.
@@sayerglasgow115 Nah fam,Indians and Arabs were the only ones who could even contemplate the existence of a number soley dedicated to nothingness.
@@michaelkriston8477 My point still stands.
"Greek Wise Guys, or How Long Can We Talk About This Before We Inevitably Talk About Diogenes"
Tru
Diogenes wins on account of being so cool that he is the most well known homeless person to ever exist
Holes counterexample: Adam and eve
@@BookWyrmOnAString but they arent cool
@@copper803 u right. U very right
I love how the 2 big theories of Diogenes's death are
A) he fought with a rabid dog over a piece of meat, got bit, and the bite wound got infected and he died from that, or
B) he wanted to prove a point (of which I do not remember the subject) and forced himself to not breath, killing himself
what a chad that man was
Well know the underworld will have to deal with him and Carion is going to be so allowed.
Not to be a hater because I sure as hell couldn't be as cool as the big guy, but wouldn't holding your breath just make you faint because your body is like 'What the hell man?' or was the man just built differently?
The funniest story surrounding his death is in my opinion when people asked him how he wanted to be buried.
He asked to be thrown outside the city walls. When people brought up that his corpse would be eaten by animals he asked them to give him a stick to fend them off.
When people questioned why he'd ask for the stick when he'd be unconscious and unable to defend himself he replied by asking why he'd need to concern himself with those animals eating him is he wasn't gonna be conscious anyways
@@juniperblackenstine2156 No one answered you, which is a bummer.
Yeah, in theory you can't hold your breath to death because you'd just pass out and your body automatically begins breathing again so you're good to go. The thing there though is Diogenes was hella old when he died. If you're old, your body ain't that good. Him holding his breath could've been enough to start a heart attack so zip zap zop, Diogenes died because he went "nah fuck life" held his breath and fuckin' died..
This has been my shitty Ted Talk.
My two favourite things about Diogenes not mentioned in the video, it was reported he was always surround pack of stray dogs, he loved dogs especially strays because he thought that they were the ultimate expression of a care-free life.
And he was once asked (this might be apocryphal, as there is only one source I could find) what he wanted done with his body after he died, he told the man asking the question, "dump my body outside the city walls and let the wolves have me". The man was horrified by this and asked his why he would want let his body be desecrated like that. Diogenes' reply "Well give my body a stick, I'll do my best to fight the wolves off".
It might be the earliest record of someone saying, I'll be too dead to care about what happens to my corpse.
Gorgias: "...and that's why I don't owe you rent."
Landlord: "Well, if everything is transient and aetherial, then your apartment is as well, and it just ceased to exist. And that's why you don't have an apartment. Get out."
since thereis no out or in i wont move
"If the apartment no longer exists, you aren't losing money letting me sleep in an empty space".
@@vullord666 "If all you need is empty space, why are you so insistent on staying in this particular empty space? Do us both a favor and get out. That way you can have your empty space, and I can have mine."
@@wyrmofvt "I am here. Why should I move?"
@@joelstephenson8017 "Because I'm about to store some rather heavy stone here and you'll find breathing rather difficult with it on top of you. Or not. I'll just have your remains cleared away."
“Aristotle is Usually Wrong” ....
That’s just a major understatement but you do you.
Indeed. We like Aristotle because he's the foundation of the scientific methodology... but boy oh boy... he's definitely one to point to when pointing out that a house is more than just it's foundations...
"I mean after all, you are the Aristotle of figuring out which convoluted ideas to throttle."
"BEHOLD. A MAN."
@@HimitsuHunter Wait I thought that was Socrates who founded the scientific method. Hence it also being called “the Socratic method”
His metaphysics were fun. His physics were crap.
Diogenes is the chaotic neutral that everyone likes.
BEHOLD A MAN
I honestly think he's the most 'accurate' of moral philosophers with his views if you take the time to dial down his shenanigans by a factor of 50.
He's pretty equatable to the context of Fight Club in terms of moral reasoning.
He's Bilbo Baggins if Bilbo Baggins took one look at Smaug then told him that his breath stinks and that the jewelry on his chest was obviously compensating for something.
Diogenes was the middle finger philosophy needed AND deserved.
Personally from all that I know of him I admire the guy. Marched to his own drum, wasn't stupid and wasn't concerned about others, was the furthest thing from a conformist, and despite being how he was he was so genuine that people were naturally drawn to him.
Diogenes: "I ran out of fucks to give before you were born."
Bystander: "I am older than you..."
Diogenes: "DID I STUTTER?!"
You're surprised the Athenians liked having Diogenes around? If that kind of LEGEND lived near my house I'd be absolutely thrilled.
It’d certainly be fun to live with someone who didn’t give a funky fresh
@@galfinsp7216 and peed on you.
@@kusaisama even more so if you're into that kind of thing.
Everyone loves that one crazy homeless guy
He'd be peeing on it.
Blue: allegedly getting the nickname Platus, meaning broad, because of his-
Me: broad knowledge, how original
Blue: wrestling coach.
Me: excuse me, what?
*Plato rips off shirt.*
"LETS DEBATE, LITTLE MAN!"
Plato knew how to deal with people who were talking shit.
@@sayerglasgow115 with the exception of Diogenes
@@cubesgames6213 Plato: "I could kick your ass."
Diogenes: "So?"
Plato: "............."
Yea, one of his extremely short biographies I've read said that his nickname derives from Greek for, moreless "broad-shoulered". In essence, ripped.
Death: Gorgias it's time to go
Gorgias at 98: Well you see time is a relative construct, it is true that one day my body shall stop functioning but who are you to say that that day, is in fact today? I...
Death: Alright alright, i'll give you 10 more years, please just stop.
I imagine gorgias as greek ben shapiro.
Ahaha so accurate
Dude sounds like the proto-soyboy.
Death: I LIKE YOU, YOU MAY STAY.
Gorgias: "And boom, that's how you extend your life, science"
When asked what motivates him Diogenes responded with “spite.”
It's a powerful motivator.
"Everyone is competing for the most galaxy-brains take on the world"
So ancient Greek philosophy is just late night tumblr?
But with like big words and stuff right? I don't think these ancient dudes would be saying "yeet" or "OwO".
@@sunshadowkitten8487 I have a new idea for a history anime.
@@sunshadowkitten8487 Are you sure that's not just due to translator bias?
@@sunshadowkitten8487 they would definetly say owo. They were furries (there are pots depicting men fucking sphinxes)
@@torcaace have you seen that one Tumblr post about how Thoth (Egyptian god of learning) is written in Greek? it would not be wrong for an ancient man to ask "Θωθ, what's this?"
Have I ever mentioned how much I admire Diogenes' sheer *audacity* ? He marches right up to the biggest hotshots in all of Greece, looks 'em up and down, and says "Move over, you're blocking the sunlight". I aspire to be that bold.
Well Alexander marched up to him because he was a lazy shit but yeah
It's even better. THEY had to march up to HIM.
Even better, Diogenes made the biggest hotshots march right up to h i m .
All that's holding you back is social constraints, my friend. That was the lesson Diogenes was trying to teach
@@blazeswordpaladin9357 What's holding me back is I'm stuck at home and don't have twitter.
"BEHOLD" Holds up a shivering naked chicken "A MAN" is probably the most hilarious powerplay ever
I thought that was a tumblr shitpost not an actual philosopher
I'm pretty sure the chicken was dead but oof
@@patrickcorby1423 I think that the whole point of this video is that a lot of philosophy is just the ancient version of tumblr shitposts.
@@patrickcorby1423 oh it was absolutely a shit post. it was just done by a real greek philosopher
@@twoscarabsintheswarm9055 that need not be true, though it was certainly not well.
Diogenes: _Tears open Trojan horse_
BEHOLD, A MAN
Children: screaming at the birthday party
You missed the best part of the Diogenes meeting Alexander story. Reportedly after asking him to move to the side and stop blocking his sun Alexander turned to his guards and said “if I was not Alexander I would want to be Diogenes” and Diogenes replied “if I was not Diogenes I would also want to be Diogenes”
Lol
I love that Plato's name is basically just his wrestling moniker. It's if The Rock was a philosopher. Imagine casually discussing metaphysics with your lecturer and then you go home and see them chokeslam someone on national TV.
As Blue says: "Its all fun and games poking holes in your opponents' logic until they suplex you in the middle of the symposium"
Ever tried playing Dungeons and Dragons with Dwayne Johnson?
Yup.
God, this world needs this.
Thousands of years in our future, The Rock could very well be considered a philosopher to those who uncover his stuff.
The physics department at my _alma mater_ had a surprisingly large amount of overlap with our sports teams. One legend did his senior thesis on the hydraulic model of metabolism with regards to competitive swimmers. Of which he was one.
Plato: Socrates is right, and everyone else hates wisdom. Also, he's faster than Sonic and stronger than Knuckles wait where are you going
Soooo, plato's oc, don't steal?
The most Jacked Philosopher.
Socrates is the first sonichu
Stronger than all his classmates in the Philosopher Fighting Acadamy.
@@thisisasupersayin376 that actually sounds like a good anime
"Beyond being a bibliophile and a tank, Plato was also a nerd."
I love this channel.
"While Athens and Sparta were busy having their little spear fight, Democritus was over here figuring out atomic theory."
Possibly the greatest line in the history of TH-cam.
“He was so convinced he was right everyone just went along with it”
Gosh dang it’s high school all over again
Gosh darn it, its my day off!
Dude, Highschool never ends. They've made a song about it after all.
High school? More like modern American politics
The world would be *so* much better if that behavior was exclusive to high school. Sadly, it's just basic human nature, sort of like how it's easier to infiltrate into places you shouldn't be if you just act confident about being there.*
*Effectiveness is dependent upon context and persons interacted with. Infiltration not guaranteed. No refunds.
That hit me in the, well, everything.
When people try to argue politics at me I reflexively turn into a Gorgias. I once had my family open up a sudden debate at the dinner table about why murder rates were so high in certain states. One side insisted it was because of guns while the other side argued it was because of drugs. When everyone unanimously insisted I take a side, I insisted it could be because murder is fun, because they didn't have consistent evidence one way or the other, and none of them knew enough about murdering a person to disprove this hypothesis. And they all let me eat my spaghetti in peace. The End. lol
Nice.
@@GreenKnight343 *ancient solutions in this case
Unfortunately for them, they don't understand that without guns, drugs have a harder time of leading to a lot of murder. Especially since a lot of other weapons are much harder to handle while high as a kite than guns are. That's just objective fact that doesn't even have to go into morality or any sort of philosophy. Just, "guns are too OP, must nerf."
@@ms_scribbles I'm down for all guns in the world being thanos-snapped out of existence because then more people would sword fight me.
I also wouldn't bother the meal of someone who just non-ironically suggested that "murder is fun".
“What is a man? A miserable featherless biped”
A plucked chicken would not be very happy
You just made me realize "pile of secrets" has the same number of syllables as "featherless biped"
@@StarshadowMelody every time I hear/read "featherless biped", I hear the splat noise from Sam O'Nella's video on Diogenes
Besides Diogenes, my favorite ancient greek philosophy story is that Aristotle got so sick and tired of bad arguments that he put together a list of logical fallacies, which is kinda like getting so tired of someone you write an essay on it and then proceed to bludgeon them on the head with the hardcover of said essay... the man may have been wrong on matters of science but I have to admire the commitment to logical methodology
We should do this again honestly
Like all those turns of phrase that everyone misuses
Example: “a couple bad apples” - ‘spoils the barrel’
Aristotle thought women had less teeth than men and nobody thought to check that. I can't even wrap my head around that. I can kinda let slide some of his bad hot takes but like women aren't exactly a rare commodity. Just ask one to open her mouth and voila! Theory disproven.
That's certainly an interesting way to spell "voila"
@@custodeon my brain broke trying to spell words today
Didn't he also claim that flies have 4 legs, or was that Pliny? I know one of the old dead dudes said it
If I recall, women are more prone to needing their wisdom teeth removed than men are. So sometimes this is accurate.
He also, you know, wrote the entire rest of the Animalia, which compiles most of the earliest description of anything living, way more.often than not accurate (and reporting folk's legends as such). The Animalia being the first attempt ever in systematic classification of life, an effort than would culminate, after a long hiatus, in Darwin's work.
It's easy to poke fun at the teeth thing, when we don't really know about what could have led to that. Maybe the one girl he counted the teeth of had some removed, who knows.
Plato: jacked wrestling philosopher
A sound soul dwells within a sound mind and a sound body
_Read 'Apology' or I'll eat your soul._ 😆
I might be wrong but greeks had general love for beauty and thus also love for beauty of the body. There was this idea that not seeing your body at it's peak at least once is a horrible waste. So I would say they would totally agree with sound mind dwells in sound body. Althought that exact slogan was created much later if i recall correctly.
And then Aristotle transforms into a scythe
@@olotocolo yes and no. Plato started wrestling and sports as a teen, as was the norm with young boys, before he met Socrates and started studying philosophy. Socrates didnt really care about his looks, he had a beer belly and wasnt attractive in any physical way
I see what you did there
You're cool m8 😁
My favorite story of Diogenes is when he walked through Athens in broad daylight with a lit lantern with the goal of “looking for an honest man”
Diogenes story: When some folks (idk, those pirates you mentioned?? memory ish wonky) invaded Athens, he Did Not Care (tm). At some point, though, he climbed out of his barrel, stood up and started rolling the barrel to the other side of the forum. Once he reached the other side he turned around and started rolling it back. Back where he started he turned around again, and he continued like that. When someone asked him what in Zeus' name he was doing he replied: "Everyone is running about all busy and panicky, it felt weird just sitting here, so I got up to look busy as well."
And that, ladies, gents and gentlethems, is why he is my Favourite.
I read something similar, but it was simply something like "I'm making myself as useful/productive as everybody else"
“Uncomfortably influential Aristotle” lol. As a philosophy major who’s minoring in history, this is too real.
It’s funny, I’m thinking of minoring in philosophy as I major in history. I’ve came to the same conclusion.
Oh you poor soul. You majored in philosophy.
I studied physics, and IIRC in a history-of-science course there was a bit gushing about how Aristotle's views on physics stood until the 16th century and his views on biology lasted until the 18th or something. Of course, one could also say it took that long for people to stop admiring the great wise master long enough to find out he was wrong. And while theories being wrong and getting replaced by better ones is a natural part of science, his mistakes included some real whoppers. I believe he's the one who had reasoned that women must have fewer teeth than men. And that remained the scientific consensus for centuries until someone just counted the things.
@@moribell1083 8g 8i8
@@moribell1083 8
“You’ll have to forgive Democritus for not having access to the Large Hadron Collider”
I most certainly WILL NOT good sir. NEVER!
really, it's an unforgivable oversight.
Damn him! Damn his britches!!
@@TheBatmobeale cut up his britches, what do we get? MORE GOTDAMN BRITCHES!
I mean toddlers are just small hadron colliders
I now know the first thing I'm doing if I get a time machine.
Kings in the Middle Ages: We hire court jesters to roast us and say rude sh-t at our expense that serious people wouldn't dare.
Alexander: Have I ever told you about my favorite philosopher?
I love how red and blue always use terms like “ Alexander the pretty all right” or “ Alexander the not especially studious”
It really is amazing and painful the one time Blue says "Great" in that one Alexander video. XD
My favorites are “Alexander the Thoroughly Miffed” and “Alex-SAND-er the Is-Coarse-And-Rough-And-Irritating-And-It-Gets-Everywhere”
@@LordDeathwing17 Can't forget the classic "Alexander the Pretty Alright" and "Alexander the Not-Actually-That-Bad-When-You-Get-To-Know-Him"
My favorite is "Alexander the Twink" because it's funny./g
I can't remember what video, but Blue once used "Alexander the Plot Armor".
Personally, I like the other account of Alexander meeting Diogenes, where they meet while Diogenes is sifting through a massive pile of skeletons and bones. Alexander asks him what he's doing, and Diogenes just replies with "Looking for the bones of your father, but I cannot distinguish them from the bones of slaves." Diogenes was the OG comrade.
That is on par with the plucked chicken and I also like that account
Did Alexander visit Diogenes once in a while just to get roasted ?
@@sramtae5820 That’s my headcanon
@@sramtae5820 In before we had the Wendy's twitter account. He was the original shitposter.
@@sramtae5820 Alexander the M
Diogenes: "If there is a reason, then there is a hole to poke. That's why I pee in the streets."
All Florida men share him as an ancestor
@@plate_fox as a florida man I can confirm this
If all Floridian men share ancestry with Diogenes, then I'd say they only inherited the trait of 'peeing in the streets.'
Having a reason for doing it is likely not included. Lol
@@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement yeah but scientists don't know why. Also they inherited mastery over reptiles as they manage to not get bit during their antics.
@@Armendicus this is a byproduct of the inherent animalfriend genes in the Diogenes the original had an army of street dogs whom he was bros with
“By some definitions a coconut could be classified as a mammal. What?!” Thank you, Blue, I needed that today!
There’s a reason we use a fuel nested hierarchy
It’s covered in hair and produces milk.
I just wanna see gorgias and diogenes just randomly encounter each other and start having a debate that becomes the philosophy equivalent of a prank war.
“Aristotles was wrong about almost everything”
Me, after taking one ethics class: well I could’ve told you that
Well rhbe fair virtue ethics have merit its a decent system even if his end point is wrong
Or physics.
Edit: embarrassingly, I spelled „or“ wrong.
But you didn't 👀
@@The_Murder_Party Well, now I'm really curious about how you spelled it before the edit?
Aristotle is wrong about much more than ethics (his defense of slavery is criminal) and physics. Also, consider his theory of poetry: of the roughly one dozen dramatists active in the classical era, and the several hundred plays that they wrote, only three writers left plays more or less intact fewer than fifty plays. Of this sliver, Aristotle's theory explains three or maybe four.
Now it's a nice theory. Much can be said in favor of his theory of tragedy; but explanatory power it hasn't got.
"Polyphemus, who hurt you?"
"Nobody! Nobody hurt me!!"
"Nobody hurt you? Did you trip and fall down the hill?"
"Maybe he just wants attention by pretending to be in pain?"
"But how can we be sure? Does pain even exist? Or is it a concept only in our heads-- _OW!_ What was that for?!"
"Well its official, Pain Exists!!!!"
My real name isn’t nobody it’s ^^^
"For f- sake: ULISSES STABBED ME IN THE EYE, OK?"
**10 years of suffering intensifies*
@@Valery0p5 "What is but a single eye in exchange for certain philosophical truth, Polyphemus?"
Socrates was twitch steamer to pulled off amazing players but could never be bothered to record them. Plato was his dedicated viewers who could not let those 360 no-scopes go unseen so he clips them and uploads compilations on TH-cam.
I don't have the time for twitch so I thank all the Plato's out there on TH-cam. Good job.
Turns out Plato is also a god but he pretends its Socrates
Diogenes the Cynic was just awesome. Another great exchange between him and Alexander the Waking Parasol: When Alexander noticed Diogenes looking attentively at a pile of human bones and asked what he was doing, Diogenes replied with, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."
Plato: And that's my view on the subject.
Other philosopher: But what about-?
Plato: *Flexes so hard his tunic tears*
OP: Sound reasoning, I retract my argument.
Philosophy today: nothing is real
philosophy in ancient times: HOW TO BEAT EVERYONE IN AN ARGUMENT, TALK DOWN TO CONQUERORS, AND PEE IN THE STREET!
ALSO NOTHING IS REAL!
@@omnitroph1501 and sometimes "EVERYTHING IS MADE OF FIRE"
@@carso1500 NO, IT'S ALL MADE OF WATER YOU NUMBSKULL!
@@omnitroph1501 YOU'RE BOTH WRONG, EVERYTHING IS NUMBERS AND EQUATIONS
@@firstnext5482 SHUT UP NEWTON, MATH HASN'T BEEN INVENTED YET
I love “behold A MAN” so much that there was an entire 3hr period were me and friends just kept quoting it in different forms
Witness a homo sapien!!
@@LordDeathwing17 OBSERVE! An INDIVIDUAL!
Gaze upon your equal, and despair!
My philosophy teacher was like a holy mix of Socrates and Diogenes. So just 100% done with people
Let’s be real here, everyone couldn’t stop laughing when they first heard about Diogenes
Nah, I firts heard of him when my cousin told me about him and Alexander (not the funny part, only the badass part), the second time, however, I laugh
That man is goals
Is funnier if you're hispanic because you eventually will hear that he lived in a barrel like a very famous character called Chavo
Imagine you’re just chilling and some random dude runs in with a featherless chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!” That would be hilarious
You should read up on the other Cynics (because Cynicism was an entire school of philosophy, although one with no "teachers" - you would just roll up one day and follow the example of some homeless guy), like Crates of Thebes. He was known as the Door Opener, because he would just randomly walk into people's houses and yell at them for having possessions and not being homeless and virtuous like him. And it worked! Apparently the Cynics were surprisingly successful in convincing people to abandon material possessions and live in the streets. I've read an ancient Stoic essay that basically said, "For the love of god stop listening to the Cynics, they're all assholes and you'll make your parents sad."
@@Hoobastomp now I am just imagining a homeless man high on crack breaking into a house and yelling “you should be like me! Give up your possessions! Live a truly free life!” While the parents either call 911 or get the shotgun and the kids are in a corner crying in terror.
Just see a hobo with a chicken running for the nearest university.
@@Hoobastomp do you remember the title of the Stoic essay? quite interested in reading it
@@Hoobastomp Shitposting. A practice as old as time.
"Alexander the big deal King guy who was on his way to conquer the everything"
One of the best sentences I've heard said out loud!
"I'm searching for the bones of your father but I cannot distinguish them from those of a slave"
One of my favorite things I heard Diogenes do was when Aristotle was busy saying that every object had a perfect ethereal form.
Diogenes then argued: But that would mean there is a perfect void.
Aristotle said: yes there would be
Diogenes then said: Where
Aristotle paused for a moment before Diogenes walked up to him and poked his head and said: There
If I remember correctly, Diogenes pulled the same trick on Plato so I guess he learned form this experience
@@eaglehood224 I think with Plato it was a chicken but yeah
@@deathstar6998 "BEHOLD! PLATO'S MAN"
@@eaglehood224 Yes, total troll man XD
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
"For every Plato's Republic there is an equal and opposite Diogenes peeing at a banquet." is gonna be the intro i use with my students next time we cover athens XD
wanna entertain your class? Seriously go talk about Diogenes all lecture, people will be HOWLING
New rule: all philosophers should take one fighting class before they get their degree, just so we can have philosophical arguments end via mortal combat!
"Philosophy - any deep, analytical thought on a subject"
Any subject? So, does that mean that my worldbuilding for my D&D campaign is philosophy? I like this definition of philosophy.
Technically although not neccessarily. There is certainly a philosophy about *how* or *why* you should do it, but I wouldn't call worldbuilding itself philosophy unless you're worldbuilding as part of that deeper analytical thought on the subject.
"It time for deep thoughts with Heinlein"
Heinlein: _Freud_
_was right about everything_
*Mic drop*
"That concludes deep thoughts with Heinlein"
@@Valery0p5 _Unless its gay, of course._
Wise guys
*Diogenes has entered the chat*
BEHOLD A MAN
@@TheSpearkan BEHOLD AN UNTHINKABLE PRESENT
I love Diogenes. When King Perdiccas of Macedon said he would kill him if he didn’t come to him, Diogenes simply said “That’s nothing special, a beetle or tarantula could do the same thing.”
One of my new favourite things is when Blue combines academic jargon with modern slang. For example "Citations in the Archaic period are jank-city"
"The best place to spit in a rich mans home, is his face."
Yep sounds like something a man who lived in a barrel would say.
Also fun fact Diogenes not only pissed in the street or banquet tables. He also pissed on people who disagreed with him
& bit them
I'd definitely prefer wet sandals over getting mauled.
What a legend. If only he wws born in the modern day.
What an absolute lad
It wasn't just that they disagreed, people also harassed him all the time and kids would follow him around so honestly he's probably in the right here
I want a movie about Plato. And I want Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to play him.
This would be one of the best movies
But Plato was an ancient White European. Wouldn't that be like having a Hispanic actor play Confucius?
@@benthomason3307 yeah bro but c'mon is the ROCK!
@@CD-BVL which is another good reason not to do it. I could see him playing Achilles if you put him in whiteface, but don't you think someone like a philosopher would be better suited for Leonard Nimoy?
@@benthomason3307 this comment is more like a joke bro, cuz if the Rock was gonna play Plato it would be a parody Plato because the rock makes mostly ridiculous movies about Chads who get tons of girls and save the world.
Anyone else picture Cyan walking into the room and just giving Blue back pats as he cries?
My favorite Diogenes vs Alexander the Something goes like this:
One day, Alexander saw Diogenes in front of a pile of bones, and because he either didn't know he was about to get verbally smacked or simply because he enjoyed the cynic's masterful trolling, asked, "What are you doing?"
Diogenes responded, "I am looking for the bones of your father, but I cannot distinguish them from the bones of a slave."
Worse burn than a 'yo momma' joke 😂
@@valentinarunko67and FAR more classy. Masterclass vs 7 yr old with a fart joke.
So that makes me wonder, who is histories earliest known troll? Because living in a barrel because houses are for losers, plucking a chicken to make a point and metaphorically rubbing it in other philosophers faces and telling the clepto-king to move out of his sunlight is pretty epic. Haha.
I'm fairly certain Diogenes was just Oscar The Grouch.
i think the "behold, a man" was the top
@@sayerglasgow115 I mean... Barrel... Trash can... Spouting helpful yet cynical advice. Yep. I agree. Hahah!
@@lith_verhen5553 Google how he taught others to deal with the urges of the flesh for a good chuckle. Lol
@@Vfox1983 And he told Alexander The Adjective to scram.
If I were not Alexander, I should wish to be Diogenes.
-Alexander the Great
if i were not diogenes, I should wish to be diogenes -Diogenes
There is something to be said for having the sheer chutzpah to look at the labyrinthine mess that is society and then just openly scoff at it.
Ah. The only time he showed humility
Aristotle's writings are a flowing river of gold, not unlike that emanating from the men's room at a football game.
Now that sounds like a Diogenes! If he was feeling poetic.
You can really tell that Diogenes and Dionosys would have got along- their names even come from the same root!
So basically Aristotle is like my math teacher. He always gets thing wrong but nobody should question him cause he's the one teaching us, even though he's wrong most of the time.
So he's also wrong about the fact that he's teaching you.
I had a few times in school where the teacher would say something, and I'd be like:
"Well, actually...."
And the teacher would actually say: "Yes, I know that's not actually correct, but it's what's in the curriculum and it's the answer that's going to be on the test."
@@sayerglasgow115 the fault in our curriculum
@@gormauslander When the schools are still teaching something even though the teachers and students both know it's bullshit, you know your education system is trash.
@@sayerglasgow115 agree. Also if they're teaching stuff you won't remember because you won't use it, you're just wasting time
...this Gorgias sounds fascinating for the Helen thing alone. And just imagine Plato wrestling some dude and thinking super deep things. Diogenes: a bit of a philosophical troll, but not exactly wrong. Democritius: Not only was right about the atom, but honestly his tree chopping explanation still works for actually explaining atoms.
Now, Fs and sad emojis for the lost classical literature! F😭
F
F
Sometimes troll logic works.
Is it really being a troll if the hot takes being spat are actually fundamentally sound?
Yes, especially after the guy bit the shit out of you for commentating on his ideas
F
9:02 I keep hearing "Sinnoh" instead of Sinope and I can't help but imagine Pokemon trainer Diogenes
Trainer Diogenes sent out rabid dog!
Honestly, a Pokemon Region based on Ancient Greece where Trainers are also philosophers would be hilarious, but I doubt Nintendo would Sanction it.
@@josephperez2004 but they could probably get away with a gym leader that's philosophy-themed.
diogenes would be the pokemon professor
God, I love this channel. You sir single-handedly made me the cool kid in my philosophy class. As a history dork in my grade 12 intro to philosophy class, I already had some prior knowledge, unfortunately, my peers did not, with a dry textbook and grouchy teacher people were confused and angry. Enter This video. Now I am hailed as a hero. So thanks?
Dear Athens,
You claim to love Democracy,
Yet you forced Socrates to drink hemlock because he was speaking his mind.
Curious.'
Democracy and freedom of speech are two different concepts, you can have a vote and still not be allowed dissenting opinions.
i mean if people voted for him to get killed it's still democracy.
democracy and free speech may be considered inseparable today, but they can exist as two separate things. especially back when freedom of speech hadn't been invented yer
Ancient Greece kinda sucked. For all that Athens was an imperialist oligarchy (in the modern sense-Ancient Greece had stricter definitions of who counted as a person for political purposes), at least it wasn't Sparta with its helot population outnumbering the freedmen and citizens ~5 to 1 _and_ being treated so badly that other slave-owning Greeks criticized them for it. The other poleis weren't great, either, they just weren't as prominent in their badness.
Ancient Greece sucks.
I’m sure they voted before killing him.
"When in a rich man's house the only place to spit is his face."
When in a rich man's house, the only food to eat is him
@@arandomcomment1092 ah, my friend I see you ascribe to the glorious movement of "eat the rich"
"I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium..."
the mad gadfly, Philosophy was my invention!
Rolling with the flyest nihilist, and me their French henchmen.
@@naomilanders9381 we got the wisdom and the wit, that even I couldn't question.
@@vidishkarkera2630 Dropping Western medicine on these East infections!
Even as a kid, I was amazed at how Aristotle kept both a)turning up in nearly _every single textbook the school gave me,_ and B) being wrong. "You can see the logic he was working with, but he was still wrong." Is honestly a great summary of his entire worldview. In college I took a class on logic and fallacies, which shocked me, because to my knowledge that's the only field where Aristotle's ideas _actually stuck._
Not really. His metaphysics is still talked abou. And you really cannot get anywhere without metaphysics. Science has always been just a branch of philosophy. Also, how do you know that most of what you've read in school now won't be considered wrong in the future? Do you think there is no such thing as development in science? Do you really need to give a shit about the fact that Newton believed in luminiferrous aether like everyone else at the time or that objects do not have any color outside of our senses whenever you read about gravity? You realize that even newtonian physics has been considered outdated since einstein? Yet nobody is saying that Newton was wrong like when they say Aristotle was wrong for thinking that the reason things fell to the ground was because it is in their nature to seek the ground (which, when understood a certain way, may as well just be about gravity).
@@dreyri2736 science is _not_ a branch of philosophy. science is documentation of observations and inferences, while philosophy is speculation and logical arguments.
@@benthomason3307 philosophy can also be observation and documentation. That's what philosophers have always done. They, however, also try to make sense of these things and create logical systems from it which can become their own new thing. Philosophy used to be called natural philosophy back when universities only had two courses availabke, the other one being theology. Everything you call science and the scientific method is the product of philosophical reasoning by men like Francis Bacon, Descartes, and even Empericus, whose name became empericism (he, unlike hippocrates, did not bother with trying to make a theory as to how the body worked and said it would be sufficient to only go by experience and observation as to what worked in healing people). In fact, everything except theology in universities today is just another branch of philosophy but made more specialized/dogmatic. Even stuff like literature. You know who pioneered literary criticism? Aristotle!
Also, you don't document inferences. You derive them from something via reasoning.
Also also, a lot of what we call "string theory" is also just speculation.
The traditional sciences are all part of philosophy. You might get a degree that says Biology, Physics , Mathematics etc but its still a degree in philosophy.
Diogenes is a philosopher that despite his crudity had some really interesting things to say about conformity. Also the memes are just golden.
Plus, when people made fun of him for living in the streets like a dog and tossed him some bones (note: "cynic" comes from the greek word "κύνας" which means "dog"), he peed on them so...
He also bit them
@@Fanimati0n Absolute Mad Lad
@@Fanimati0n Absolute Mad Lad
@Frost E Bear We need to revive Diogenes, teach him English, and introduce him to 4chan
@@blazeswordpaladin9357 But he would then consider 4chan to be superfluous, unsubscribe from the internet, throw the computer into a thrash bin, and proceed to just go find the posters to troll personally. On foot.
Students: "So Plato, what do you think of that Diogenes guy?"
Plato (probably facepalming): "He is a Socrates...gone mad."
The whole thing with Socrates and his eventually execution by Athens was nuts because he basically double dared them to kill him by suggesting that they should punish him with and insultingly small fine instead, which got the few people that were sort of on the fence about passing a death sentence on an old man who just talked too much easily over it.
Then his death sentence got dragged out much longer than it should have because it was illegal to execute anyone during a certain event that ended up lasting much longer than normal. All the while Socrates stubbornly refused to either apologize and seek mercy or even to attempt to escape Athens. He basically died on principle.
@@josephperez2004 Socrates found his hill, and nobody could convince him to not die on it
He was so contrary, he hamstrung his own legal defense. That is commitment to a bit.
I love how Diogenes looks so dead inside in Red’s drawings
4:27 ah yes the scheduled "cry about the library of Alexandria" time
Athenian student: Master the hour is late may we go home?
Plato (throws off robe) Until you pin me class is not over!
Random student: Please be reasonable
Plato: Stop crying & fight your tutor!
Ill be honest i read that the wrong way and sexy sax man started playing in my head until the second half of your comment.
@@anelbegic2780 Many Greek philosophers were _like that_ too actually. Plato considered boning your students to be unprofessional and that's why we use the word "platonic" to mean "lacking in romantic or sexual elements."
@@blarg2429 you would think the greeks if all people would be okay with it, do you know if this was the norm or was plato the exeption for non-philosophers as well?
@@anelbegic2780 Plato was the exception, I believe.
"What is this, Sparta?"
"We live in a society" - Diogenes, probably.
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" - Plato, probably
@@samrevlej9331 Plato *probably.
"Loss of literature" He then proceeds to laugh and cry. Now I don't know why but I relate with Blue here
Lost knowledge is a travesty. We all relate with Blue here.
I can't even say how much I love the phrase "For every Plato's Republic there is an equal and opposite Diogenes peeing at a banquet table." I want to use this line so badly. Anyone know how I can casually insert this into a conversation like it's a wise, relatable proverb?
I love the illustration of Diogenes. It radiates pure "I'm done with this"-energy.
I saw the words “Greek wise guys” and now I’m thinking of a mafia movie in Ancient Greece.
“So did Plato guy thinks he’s a wise guy see?”
“Keep talking like that and you’ll be sleeping with Poseidon.”
I mean, as long it’s not in the temple of Athena I think you’re alright. Edit: In regard to the statement on “sleeping with Poseidon”
now i want this
Better then zeus.
It's a Godfather reference y'all
I absolutely love this✨✨✨
Ah, the Greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff
Bill Wurtz? That's one of my fav lines! XD
Oh my god, I never knew Diogenes was where "Behold a man!" came from. I heard it as a joke some years ago and had it as an inside joke with my friends for a while! I'm not disappointed to hear about the kind of person that it came from lol
"In a rich man's house, there is no place to spit but his face." -Diogenes
I can just picture diogenese going on a morning walk with a cup of coffee in hand, sees a kid drinking from a river with his bare hands and thinks, “oh shit that’s genius” and impulsively throws out his only material possession
Wait...
You know that or you dupossed that
I never get tired of hearing the story of Diogenes from different history videos on TH-cam, especially the featherless biped part
Ben Shapiro: Who...are you?
Gorgias: I am you, but even more insufferable.
@@grzegorzbrzeczyszczykiewic563
Gorgias: Gorgias COMPLETELY DESTROYS Benjamin from Shapiro with dedicated rationale, study and comprehensive elucidation!
SELL THEIR TEMPLES TO WHO, GORGIAS?!!! FUCKING AQUAMAN?!!!
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
One out of three ain't bad.
@@SpaceNerd117 Who exactly?
@@Mazou-tj4ne
Plato.
"The Philosophers Song" - Monty Pythons attempt at Blue's "History Hijinks: Greek Wise Guys"
Although, to be fair, Python also covered the 18th and 19th centuries.
Emmanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable, / Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. / David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel; / and Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raising of the wrist : / Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, on a half a pint of shandy was particularly ill; / Plato, they say, could stick it away : half a crate of whisky every day. / Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle; / Hobbs was fond of his dram; / And René Decartes was a drunken fart : "I drink, therefore I am!"
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed : / A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
@@nigeldepledge3790
I just sang this out loud, and my kids are looking at me like I'm crazy.
It's good to be the paterfamilias.
@@nigeldepledge3790 “just as sloshed as Schlegel” is a real tongue-twister
@@alisaurus4224 - I might be wrong, but in my recollection they actually sang it as "shloshed"....
The best part of Alexander the Slightly-Above-Average-I-Guess meeting Diogenes. Everyone was terrified at Diogenes' utter lack of respect towards the great king, but Alexander laughed it off and laid beside him, and we got this exchange:
Alex: You are quite an interesting man. Truly, if I were not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes.
Diogenes: I understand. If I were not Diogenes, I too would wish to be Diogenes.
That's epic
Love your cover for "Republic" at 5:11
"I'm a stand-up philosopher."
"Oh, a bulls- artist!"
For you kids out there who didn't get that: He was trying to say bullshit artist.
@@Delightfully_Bitchy I make a point not to type out full cuss words on channels where the hosts don't generally cuss.
Part of me wants Diogenes to tar and feather himself, walk in, and start frantically squawking: “BOK BOK I’M BIRD NOW, BOK Can I have free corn? 🥺”
Plato's wrestling successes are so much more impressive than his philosophy
Plato is an Athenian born and raised, in philosophy is where he spends most of his days.