Red flag!!! If you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around them.... get outttttt! It’s miserable! I wish I realized that sooner in one of my past relationships. Love this video ❤️
So glad you mentioned porn, I feel like hardly no one brings it up. that’s definitely one of my ‘I WILL NOT COMPROMISE” things. I enjoyed this chatty video, I’d love for you to do more!
I was dating a guy in college that straight up told me he liked my friend more than me but settled for me because she didn't like him. Then he would get upset when I was insecure of him being friends with other girls. He would compliment them in front of me, flirt with them, and then I couldn't say a word about it. When we'd hang out in his room and his family would Skype, I'd have to hide under his bed. He gaslighted me so badly I put myself in therapy afterwards because I was so convinced that the problem was me. Never again!
In my experience, red flags have been things like: He has a hard time being open emotionally and withdraws to himself a lot rather than being able to communicate what's wrong; he's always looking for signs whether you should be together even though he knows you have something real together; or if he's looking for validation in volunteer work or the military because he doesn't have it in the Lord; if he assents to your physical boundaries yet later tries to wear you down gradually. Also if he asks (this was online dating) if you're a virgin as his first words to you. DENIED!!!! Hmm...if his only compliments to you are about your appearance, because he doesn't actually value you as a whole person..
I was reminded of a gamer too. One refused to eat with his wife and child and they got into a physical fight live on the internet. This is a terrible husband and dad.
guys that want you to “prove” what you have to bring to the table; guys that want you to earn their love and approval; and the like 🤦🏾♀️ the things we allow when we don’t understand our value as daughters of the Most High. Enjoyed this video as always sister! 💕
I FELT THIS Lord Jesus, the men of our generation need help 😅🤣 some other big ones are if he’s not planning real dates and he’s just wanting to “hang out” all the time.. been there 😂 or you’re running out of things to talk about... chemistry ain’t right 😅 loved this video, thanks for sharing 💞
I was both in a relationship where I didn’t find the guy attractive and in a relationship where the only reason I liked the guy was because he was attractive. Trust me, both of those are bad reasons to stay. I appreciate you making these videos Nastasia!! God bless you🤗
Yes. Porn is a BIG issue. No, you should not ignore it. I got married without knowing that he was addicted to porn and the way he related to me was extremely toxic. He criticised my looks constantly and I could never be good enough. He also gave me silent treatment for days if I wasn't... putting out frequently enough. I realised how major the issue was when I found his flesh-light (don't google that...)
red flag: when he gets mad when you say “no” or tries to convince you to do what you don’t want to do. this is a sure fire way to sniff out the control freaks
Red flags: excessive drinking, expects you to pay for majority of dates/trips regardless of your financial situation, doesn’t like your friends or wants you to hang out with them, lies a lot, always hiding phone, disrespects you or your family, swears like a sailor, easily angered, gives backhanded compliments
@CJS CJS for example saying your “hair looks nice but you don’t really have the head for it” or “your makeup looks good today but you’re breaking out.” It’s an insult wrapped up like a compliment.
I relate with wanting to fix them with their anger issues. In my last relationship I was dating the guy based on his potential and what I wanted him to be and not the reality. Thank you for posting this!!
Great video. These are all things that no woman should compromise on. I want to emphasize how important the porn issue is. As a non Christian, it saddens me to see how dismissive the secular world is of porn. The attitude that it’s no big deal is so pervasive when it’s a huge deal that can and will do significant damage to relationships and to healthy sexuality between partners. I once worked on a large scale research study about attitudes toward porn that concluded a significant correlation between acceptance of porn as okay and desensitization toward violence against women. One of the things I’m most thankful for in my fiancé is his anti porn stance. Always be careful of men who act like porn is no big deal.
Hey Nastasia, Thank you for your brakeup videos, they have been such a help to me! I recently was broken up with a guy a dated for a year that I thought I was going to marry. He had many of the red flag you talked about in this video. I never really thought they were until I heard your prospective. Thank you!
You seem so much more confident in this video! You seem different in some way to me. I definitely think that these are important topics, and you and Cai (?) are adorable together!
I was hanging out with a guy last year and ignored all the red flags. Like the fact that he told me he's not looking for a relationship yet acted like he was super interested so I kept on waiting for him. Ended up being a lot more hurt than I should have been. And a few months ago, a guy started blatantly flirting with me. We got along great & I was confused over whether I just liked the attention or actually liked him (since I was still hurt from being led on) When he told me he liked me I just said I wanted to be friends yet he kept on flirting & making me uncomfortable. When I finally called him out on it he told me to "calm down" and got mad. Big red flag for me. Glad I didn't date him just because I felt insecure about my singleness.
🚩🚩🚩He ONLY EVER texted and NEVER called for the ENTIRE dating period (never turned into a relationship lol thank God) ?? After I broke it off during the dating period he TEXTED that we should talk (one last time basically) but if I didn’t call he’d know I didn’t want to. Ball=in my court and I was like nope sorry, if you wanna talk you have a phone dude.🤦🏼♀️😂 am I right or what!?
I hate to say that you are describing myself at 10:08. I will not go deeper into it here, but please pray for me that medication and therapy will help me move forward towards a sense of normalcy in friendships and relationships in my future. In regard to sports, I almost texted a girl once that I was being distracted by sports. I am thankful to have friends and family that stopped me from sending that text.
This is insane!!! I literally cannot believe that people would say those things to you!!! Praise God He didn't let you settle!! And used those things for good!
Me: *wishing I could comment but having never been in a relationship has no funny stories about red flags at all-* I mean unless you count random indian guys msging you on IG as a red flag than that would be just about it 😂
Long story short I dated a non Christian who drank and did drugs, but was sweet as pie and I thought I could save him... What I learned: Only God can do the saving; best not to waste time dating someone who isn't a Christian (unless you're friends first and they are saved before you start dating or something similar. Bottom line, make sure you're equally yoked)
Me too. You have to want to be saved. ♥️😍And sure I have many examples of people which, though their own sins and bad behaviour, realized that this is a vicious cycle and found the light again... But that shouldn't mean you have to carry their cross. It's another thing to help and aid with all your heart and a different thing to carry with all the burdens and sins of others yourself. The light appears to everyone but it depends whether you see it or not (from an ex atheist ) 🥰😍
If you are going to leave a guy who's addicted to porn I'd say 1. Pray for him and 2. At least try to let him down easy or be empathetic of he's situation when you are breaking up with him because that situation he is going through isn't easy to just immediately give up on either , so if your dumping him please be careful about it
Well my boyfriend just broke up with... 😞... 3 years together he told me he didnt know he wanted me in his future and that he did not want to get married cuz he wanted to live with his parents... He is 30 years old so I am... I feel in peace but sad at the time.
Porn is not an issue with me anymore, (praise Jesus 🙏🏻) but if a girl told me she wouldn’t want to date me for that sole reason only I wouldn’t feel any bad feelings toward her. I would completely respect her decision. I also wouldn’t consider dating a non-virgin (not counting rape/married but husband died or left her) so I gotta be theologically consistent. The problem that girls have is pretty much every guy has dealt with porn before at one time. It’s not fair to y’all to be honest. Wish it wasn’t as common as it seems with us dealing with it. Obviously not all guys have it just seems like all of us have.
@@cjscjs1064 no I’m not saying that I just haven’t met or spoke to someone under the age of 40 who hasn’t. I’m sure they are men who haven’t. I just wish I was one of them.
You sound like me that was all the things that I used to do and now I learn to give it all to God. The only time a relationship will work when it is from God.
I'm writing a book just like this and hoping to get it done by Valentines Day. A part of it is the stories of all my exes. No real names. Fictional names just for their sake. I insert myself too as the titular main character but with a different name. I never had a serious boyfriend. I just had guys insist on me dating them when I didn't want to. I wasn't attracted to them.
Same thing has happened to me. Never been in a serious relationship. Two guys have recently asked me out and they are good people but I just have no attraction to them. Plus the fact that I really need to grow closer to God before I date in the future.
@@AutumnRose1397 I been there! Thinking ugly guys are good that I gave them a chance. I am never going to do that again. I loved Nastasia and Milena's advice to make sure you like this guy, find him attractive, make sure he's your dream man that meets your list that you brought to God. No more dating just to date. It's stupid. That's what I used to do and I will never do that again. I told this guy I liked him but I'm not in love with him since we never met in real life. He moved to another state and I can't do long distance. Especially in a pandemic. It's not like I can go out anywhere or travel.
No, porn doesn't, adultery does. By the way, sin is sin, it is not big or small. Adultery in the form of porn was sin made real to you,live in reality not in your own definition of things. Nobody is perfect, a porn addict needs love and forgiveness not the one who is charging things against him or her.
The one at the end is a real doozy - 'you are not blowing me away'. That is way too much. How would an average female that has perhaps a number of self-doubts and lacking a degree of self-assurance, react to that statement? Way over the top. I personally have not had that thrown at me but if I did, I wouldn't even try to think what that would even mean. I'm out.
I enjoy these chatty videos I had a ex boyfriend that wouldn't put me on his facebook but come to find he was chatting with other females it take a book to.write what he done. But me and him.is no longer together. I agree with you we need to watch the red flags in a relationship. Thanks for this video.
I am involved with a nonbeliever that his true ugly side is showing up more n more. He is not willing to change n acknowledged the Christ. I’ve been having hard time to get rid of him. Pls pray that God will completely remove him out of my life before he becomes more controlling.
What does the Bible say about family and forgiveness ? Isn’t resentment and anger an ungodly character trait. I stopped answering my grandma because I was in my own little world and self absorbed like many others (not sure if you can relate at all) and she passed away and now I regret it to this very day years later. But those are two separate things... definitely would like to hear YOUR view on forgiveness and family.
hey stass, i just wanted to ask one thing - what does the bible say about womens clothing? Or if you could adress it in one of your videos. I would really love to wear skirts more, but the problem s they just don't look good on me.
Nastacia, you are teaching people how not to accept a sinner. Love is not to expect the other person to do what you want them to do. That's selfishness. Love is to accept the person as who he or she is, a sinner. All the points that you mentioned are selfish cries that say, "Love me". You are forcing love. You must be willing to stay committed to the other person even if he or she commits sins against you. You must love them unconditionally and forgive them. This is what the Biblical mandate is, to love just as Christ loved the Church, in forgiveness and unconditional love. It needs guts to love someone, you need guts to forgive. You are preaching a gutless love which is absolutely wrong. Bless you! 😊
![เปิด อาณาจักร หมื่นล้าน "สาระตั้ม" l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/3XE0nPF4YkQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Red flag!!! If you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around them.... get outttttt! It’s miserable! I wish I realized that sooner in one of my past relationships. Love this video ❤️
So glad you mentioned porn, I feel like hardly no one brings it up. that’s definitely one of my ‘I WILL NOT COMPROMISE” things. I enjoyed this chatty video, I’d love for you to do more!
I was dating a guy in college that straight up told me he liked my friend more than me but settled for me because she didn't like him. Then he would get upset when I was insecure of him being friends with other girls. He would compliment them in front of me, flirt with them, and then I couldn't say a word about it. When we'd hang out in his room and his family would Skype, I'd have to hide under his bed. He gaslighted me so badly I put myself in therapy afterwards because I was so convinced that the problem was me. Never again!
I'm so sorry you deserve so much more I hope your living the life you desire
i hope you're doing fine now ❣
He may have a narcissist from the get go just messing with your self worth. He reminds me of a narcissist.
In my experience, red flags have been things like: He has a hard time being open emotionally and withdraws to himself a lot rather than being able to communicate what's wrong; he's always looking for signs whether you should be together even though he knows you have something real together; or if he's looking for validation in volunteer work or the military because he doesn't have it in the Lord; if he assents to your physical boundaries yet later tries to wear you down gradually. Also if he asks (this was online dating) if you're a virgin as his first words to you. DENIED!!!!
Hmm...if his only compliments to you are about your appearance, because he doesn't actually value you as a whole person..
the dislikes are probably my ex's lololol
The sports thing can also be applied to “gamers”, guys who are always playing video games 24/7 🙄
That's what popped up in my head too!
I was reminded of a gamer too. One refused to eat with his wife and child and they got into a physical fight live on the internet. This is a terrible husband and dad.
guys that want you to “prove” what you have to bring to the table; guys that want you to earn their love and approval; and the like 🤦🏾♀️ the things we allow when we don’t understand our value as daughters of the Most High. Enjoyed this video as always sister! 💕
when I heard the "if you cringe being with them" why was this meeeee
I FELT THIS Lord Jesus, the men of our generation need help 😅🤣 some other big ones are if he’s not planning real dates and he’s just wanting to “hang out” all the time.. been there 😂 or you’re running out of things to talk about... chemistry ain’t right 😅 loved this video, thanks for sharing 💞
I was both in a relationship where I didn’t find the guy attractive and in a relationship where the only reason I liked the guy was because he was attractive. Trust me, both of those are bad reasons to stay. I appreciate you making these videos Nastasia!! God bless you🤗
Yes. Porn is a BIG issue. No, you should not ignore it. I got married without knowing that he was addicted to porn and the way he related to me was extremely toxic. He criticised my looks constantly and I could never be good enough. He also gave me silent treatment for days if I wasn't... putting out frequently enough.
I realised how major the issue was when I found his flesh-light (don't google that...)
I used to think I was a pro in dating... I've been humbled :)
red flag: when he gets mad when you say “no” or tries to convince you to do what you don’t want to do. this is a sure fire way to sniff out the control freaks
💜Can you do a friendship series sometime? 💜
Red flags: excessive drinking, expects you to pay for majority of dates/trips regardless of your financial situation, doesn’t like your friends or wants you to hang out with them, lies a lot, always hiding phone, disrespects you or your family, swears like a sailor, easily angered, gives backhanded compliments
I relate girl. Man and I wonder why I endured that toxicity for a year
May I ask what you mean by backhanded compliments?
@CJS CJS for example saying your “hair looks nice but you don’t really have the head for it” or “your makeup looks good today but you’re breaking out.” It’s an insult wrapped up like a compliment.
@@autumncloud6362 tell me about it 🤦🏾♀️
@@Khadija-yn2po ok. Thank you for the clarification. I appreciate it.
I relate with wanting to fix them with their anger issues. In my last relationship I was dating the guy based on his potential and what I wanted him to be and not the reality. Thank you for posting this!!
The part about cringing to be around your “boyfriend”....been there 🤣🤣🤣. Ain’t going back!
Great video. These are all things that no woman should compromise on. I want to emphasize how important the porn issue is. As a non Christian, it saddens me to see how dismissive the secular world is of porn. The attitude that it’s no big deal is so pervasive when it’s a huge deal that can and will do significant damage to relationships and to healthy sexuality between partners. I once worked on a large scale research study about attitudes toward porn that concluded a significant correlation between acceptance of porn as okay and desensitization toward violence against women. One of the things I’m most thankful for in my fiancé is his anti porn stance. Always be careful of men who act like porn is no big deal.
Hey Nastasia,
Thank you for your brakeup videos, they have been such a help to me! I recently was broken up with a guy a dated for a year that I thought I was going to marry. He had many of the red flag you talked about in this video. I never really thought they were until I heard your prospective. Thank you!
May I ask what red flags you saw?
You seem so much more confident in this video! You seem different in some way to me.
I definitely think that these are important topics, and you and Cai (?) are adorable together!
I was hanging out with a guy last year and ignored all the red flags. Like the fact that he told me he's not looking for a relationship yet acted like he was super interested so I kept on waiting for him. Ended up being a lot more hurt than I should have been.
And a few months ago, a guy started blatantly flirting with me. We got along great & I was confused over whether I just liked the attention or actually liked him (since I was still hurt from being led on) When he told me he liked me I just said I wanted to be friends yet he kept on flirting & making me uncomfortable. When I finally called him out on it he told me to "calm down" and got mad. Big red flag for me. Glad I didn't date him just because I felt insecure about my singleness.
Hey nastasia, i wish you speak about boundaries with guys while being single
We need a friends with your ex video .
🚩🚩🚩He ONLY EVER texted and NEVER called for the ENTIRE dating period (never turned into a relationship lol thank God) ?? After I broke it off during the dating period he TEXTED that we should talk (one last time basically) but if I didn’t call he’d know I didn’t want to. Ball=in my court and I was like nope sorry, if you wanna talk you have a phone dude.🤦🏼♀️😂 am I right or what!?
I hate to say that you are describing myself at 10:08. I will not go deeper into it here, but please pray for me that medication and therapy will help me move forward towards a sense of normalcy in friendships and relationships in my future.
In regard to sports, I almost texted a girl once that I was being distracted by sports. I am thankful to have friends and family that stopped me from sending that text.
What are you wearing on your lips? The color is so beautiful!
Gurrrlllll I love your laugh! Also, thank you for this! I was like "same sis!" So many times 😭
This is insane!!! I literally cannot believe that people would say those things to you!!! Praise God He didn't let you settle!! And used those things for good!
Me: *wishing I could comment but having never been in a relationship has no funny stories about red flags at all-*
I mean unless you count random indian guys msging you on IG as a red flag than that would be just about it 😂
Ha! i’ve never dated anyone either but there are definitely some red flags from guys that asked me out before. 😬 but i relate ;(
Ahahahah same 😂
Long story short I dated a non Christian who drank and did drugs, but was sweet as pie and I thought I could save him... What I learned: Only God can do the saving; best not to waste time dating someone who isn't a Christian (unless you're friends first and they are saved before you start dating or something similar. Bottom line, make sure you're equally yoked)
Me too. You have to want to be saved. ♥️😍And sure I have many examples of people which, though their own sins and bad behaviour, realized that this is a vicious cycle and found the light again... But that shouldn't mean you have to carry their cross. It's another thing to help and aid with all your heart and a different thing to carry with all the burdens and sins of others yourself. The light appears to everyone but it depends whether you see it or not (from an ex atheist ) 🥰😍
Oh my goodness!! Cannot believe those things these guys told you!! I would have literally cried lol
sameee
If you are going to leave a guy who's addicted to porn I'd say 1. Pray for him and 2. At least try to let him down easy or be empathetic of he's situation when you are breaking up with him because that situation he is going through isn't easy to just immediately give up on either , so if your dumping him please be careful about it
Your honesty and advice is refreshing!
Thank you for your honesty in this video 💕 sometimes it’s hard to think back to past relationships but it’s so good to talk about these things
Well my boyfriend just broke up with... 😞... 3 years together he told me he didnt know he wanted me in his future and that he did not want to get married cuz he wanted to live with his parents... He is 30 years old so I am... I feel in peace but sad at the time.
Porn is not an issue with me anymore, (praise Jesus 🙏🏻) but if a girl told me she wouldn’t want to date me for that sole reason only I wouldn’t feel any bad feelings toward her. I would completely respect her decision. I also wouldn’t consider dating a non-virgin (not counting rape/married but husband died or left her) so I gotta be theologically consistent. The problem that girls have is pretty much every guy has dealt with porn before at one time. It’s not fair to y’all to be honest. Wish it wasn’t as common as it seems with us dealing with it. Obviously not all guys have it just seems like all of us have.
@Trish Manalo agree with you 1000%. Straight truth. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 thank you for the encouragement and I hope you are blessed!
All guys deal with porn?
@@cjscjs1064 no I’m not saying that I just haven’t met or spoke to someone under the age of 40 who hasn’t. I’m sure they are men who haven’t. I just wish I was one of them.
@@mscottster444 thank you for your honesty. I'm sure your future wife will appreciate it.
@@cjscjs1064 no problem and if I get one that is. Nonetheless thank you!
9:13 Best advice ever. Some people don’t learn this until much much later in life, if at all.
Omg, that lack of attraction part got me. 🤭 Could you please make a video about self worth and abandonment and how did you overcome these issues? 🙏🏼
I just want to be your friend and go get coffee. You are the sweetest! Love your videos
Would love for you to do a video on mistakes you’ve made in previous relationships and the lessons God taught you through those 🙏
You sound like me that was all the things that I used to do and now I learn to give it all to God. The only time a relationship will work when it is from God.
I have the same opinion about porn.
When’s your wedding?? Super excited! 😊
I thought I wasn't gonna like this video but it was hilarious specially towards the end
I'm writing a book just like this and hoping to get it done by Valentines Day. A part of it is the stories of all my exes. No real names. Fictional names just for their sake. I insert myself too as the titular main character but with a different name. I never had a serious boyfriend. I just had guys insist on me dating them when I didn't want to. I wasn't attracted to them.
Same thing has happened to me. Never been in a serious relationship. Two guys have recently asked me out and they are good people but I just have no attraction to them. Plus the fact that I really need to grow closer to God before I date in the future.
@@AutumnRose1397 I been there! Thinking ugly guys are good that I gave them a chance. I am never going to do that again. I loved Nastasia and Milena's advice to make sure you like this guy, find him attractive, make sure he's your dream man that meets your list that you brought to God. No more dating just to date. It's stupid. That's what I used to do and I will never do that again. I told this guy I liked him but I'm not in love with him since we never met in real life. He moved to another state and I can't do long distance. Especially in a pandemic. It's not like I can go out anywhere or travel.
Porn always ruins relationships.
No, porn doesn't, adultery does. By the way, sin is sin, it is not big or small. Adultery in the form of porn was sin made real to you,live in reality not in your own definition of things. Nobody is perfect, a porn addict needs love and forgiveness not the one who is charging things against him or her.
Wow...just went through a breakup and this is an eye-opener for me
So glad you are married now
Such an amazing video ❤.
So blessed to find your channel
love this video! so relatable
thank you!!
Amazing video. Sucks you had to go through all that, but thanks for the advice you gave❤️
The one at the end is a real doozy - 'you are not blowing me away'. That is way too much. How would an average female that has perhaps a number of self-doubts and lacking a degree of self-assurance, react to that statement? Way over the top. I personally have not had that thrown at me but if I did, I wouldn't even try to think what that would even mean. I'm out.
haha right?!
I enjoy these chatty videos I had a ex boyfriend that wouldn't put me on his facebook but come to find he was chatting with other females it take a book to.write what he done. But me and him.is no longer together. I agree with you we need to watch the red flags in a relationship. Thanks for this video.
I am involved with a nonbeliever that his true ugly side is showing up more n more. He is not willing to change n acknowledged the Christ. I’ve been having hard time to get rid of him. Pls pray that God will completely remove him out of my life before he becomes more controlling.
Wow same
Please tell me you broke up with him.
What does the Bible say about family and forgiveness ? Isn’t resentment and anger an ungodly character trait.
I stopped answering my grandma because I was in my own little world and self absorbed like many others (not sure if you can relate at all) and she passed away and now I regret it to this very day years later. But those are two separate things... definitely would like to hear YOUR view on forgiveness and family.
thank you girl! being a married lady, i can remember all the folly of my dating...angry, sexually charged males is a bad situation lol 😆
You videos are the only dating videos I've ever watched, you should be proud of that, that's a huge accomplishment lol!
Great video
hey stass, i just wanted to ask one thing - what does the bible say about womens clothing? Or if you could adress it in one of your videos. I would really love to wear skirts more, but the problem s they just don't look good on me.
14:08 - 15:10 THANK YOU.
Walking on eggshell 😂😂👌
such a good video!!!!
I thought you were actually drinking tea
Hi! It’s Annie lol! Love the advice on not settling!
Hi annie love you!!!
I loved this video.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing.
Yeah breaking up with someone over football is stupid, we don't break up with you over taking 3 hours of putting makeup on your face before going out
It sounds like she was describing an anxiety attack, I hope that angry person she was with wasn't autistic, or else that was her in the wrong
Whoever believes in Jesus will be saved
Nastacia, you are teaching people how not to accept a sinner. Love is not to expect the other person to do what you want them to do. That's selfishness. Love is to accept the person as who he or she is, a sinner.
All the points that you mentioned are selfish cries that say, "Love me". You are forcing love. You must be willing to stay committed to the other person even if he or she commits sins against you. You must love them unconditionally and forgive them. This is what the Biblical mandate is, to love just as Christ loved the Church, in forgiveness and unconditional love. It needs guts to love someone, you need guts to forgive. You are preaching a gutless love which is absolutely wrong. Bless you! 😊