You are very well in tune Stephanie❤. My psychotherapist analyzed me with specific questions 1- who do I desire to be pleasured by? A man. 2- erotic identity; woman, (heterosexual) who do I desire to be pleasured as? A woman. 3- gender; woman (who do I see myself being day to day)? A woman. 4- sex; (male bodied) feminine mind. After only 6 visits Amanda wrote a recommendation letter for my physician, stating that she strongly feels that I should be allowed to start estrogen replacement therapy, as she has never encountered anyone more meant for this than myself❤
I only differ from you in question 1: I’m bisexual And question 3: I have continually chosen to align with an outward male identity as ‘cover.’ It comes from fearing judgement, and not passing. If all external pressure dropped and I would never face scrutiny for anything I ever did (or any way I presented) I would definitely shave my legs and get a woman’s haircut and wear makeup and cute dresses outside of the house. I’m probably a tomboy deep down, in that I may not expect to be going out with a full glam look all the time. But again, that’s part of the problem. A woman can wear a t shirt and jeans. But I can’t really wear a tshirt and jeans AS a woman with the body I have… I don’t know, I feel like this leaves me stuck in a yucky limbo.
@@BD-yl5mh what you are describing is boymoding (or manmoding, depending on how old/masculine you are). Dont worry about it, its normal. If you are just doing so as a cover then its not your actual gender. I am currently in a similar spot and I know how confusing it can be. I keep thinking that I would be fine as a guy but then the dysphoria kicks in and I immediately know that I would be much happier as a girl.
I've never had this confusion, since I never did any cross-dressing. There was nothing really feminine about me in my attitude or presentation...but there was this recurring desire to "be a woman", and occasional flare-ups of "wrong body" experience that I knew I couldn't just keep ignoring. It's weird and complicated because I kind of don't even want to be a woman, except that I really do. Presentation and identity aren't the same thing and it's frustrating.
Another thing that I have to add as for personal experience and some I watched online is that crossdesers sometimes look for ultra feminine presentation while as for some trans woman like me feel feminine in modest clothing or even a hoodie and jeans since we don't need clothing to prove or to be who we are
That's interesting. I'm someone who is about 90% sure I'm trans, and feel as though I have to present ultra fem. Don't get me wrong, I like doing it but it's a lot of work and sometimes feels very fake. There are some... I hesitate to call them masculine, but I guess just more neutral styles like jeggings and plaid long sleeves which I like. I just worry I look too much like a guy when wearing them, especially without doing anything with hair or makeup
@@liekkianimaatio3652 Could it be a matter of what fashion to wear depending? e.g. older men or older women dressing like they did in high school? At times finding fashionable role models can be difficult (don't use me as example, how I dress is completely different than what a trans would dress). In regards to fashionable role models which I think these days are the worst both what Hollywood, fast fashion industry, and social media influencers mainly present outrageous click-bait stuff. I know some older women (old enough to remember quality clothing from Sears and Montgomery Ward) who mention todays' fashions are really bad. When CDs want to go out in public, they tone down the girlyness as most women don't dress ultra femme. But then I have seen some taller cis women that dress like a man (basic shirt, pants, flats, no makeup) but the way they walk there's no doubt they would be otherwise.
I first tried on women's clothes when I was 12 years old, and always wished I had been born a female. I was straight, loved girls, but at the same time wished I was one myself! I was 25 before I even knew it was possible for a man to change to female, and by then I was married, had responsibilities, two kids, so I decided it was great that a male could become a female, but I knew it was not possible for me. A few years ago, I decided I want to be as feminine as I can be, and went on female hormones and I love the changes in my body,. It really surprised to find that now I am attracted to men, but my therapist says she isn't surprised at all, because now I think more like a woman, and it's only natural for me to be attracted to men. I have found that I do love to be the submissive 'sissy' with men who are somewhat dominant. This is something I would never have even considered doing when I was a teenager.
I used to think I was more female than male but could crossdress to survive. That ended with 10 years of worsening depression before my egg finally cracked and i realised i had to transition. Im now 2 years in and so happy i did it. There have been challenges and a lot of hard work along the way but Gender Euphoria is a real thing. Be strong and believe in yourself. Greetings from Australia!
Crossdresser here, I enjoy dressing as a woman but I have no desires to live full time or do HRT or surgery. And yes there are huge differences between CDs and trans. When I dress up, I try to look feminine though perhaps much of my dressing is probably way more than what a trans woman would do. The movie about Gwen Araujo describes where trans had their brain wired differently during fetus development but the body did not. A sad movie but it illustrated what trans people are and what they have to endure. And there are lots of YT videos describing differences, however, I find most are sensational click-bait by high earning influencers that generally add confusion or stir up conflicts. It is nice to find this video as a basic lecture on this subject. It can get confusing for many as fashions have become androgynous (almost all are these horrible fast fashion designs that end up in the landfill) then there's lot of high profile media posts (which what is commonly presented in media is rarely seen in real life). It has been written and said for many years if a CD wants to pass, don't dress up really femme as many cis women do not. Then there's sensational political where a few, and very few, stir up controversy causing legislators to create laws on subjects that are in reality not an issue. But such legislation can cause problems. For myself I never intent to deceive or "trap" though I want to be feminine in a glamorous way but I flat out indicate I am a CD. Of course some like that others do not. If they are not into CDs, no reason for them to watch or read my posts. Even for "straight" people there are preferences of style of what they want/don't want in the opposite sex. And though my hobby of dressing I do understand it is not something that earns money or helps promotion at my day job. Sexual orientation can be confusing, at least for me. Lately when I dress up, I have desires to be with a man. But then that's me. While statistics are confusing, I believe most CDs are straight and have no desires to interact with the same sex. Then there are a smaller group that wants to be with other CDs, and even a much smaller group that wants to be with a man. I believe for trans women are attracted men but not as gay, they are attracted to men like cis women are attracted to men. For gay men, men dressed as women do nothing for them from what I see. There are gay men that do drag but they seem to be over the top, not trying to be really sexy but rather a parody for comedic effect. Then there's another group, what I refer to female illusionists that create impersonations of celebrities such as Marilyn Monroe. Which the latter are nothing of CDs or trans.
I could not have put it better. I dress often inside and outside. I am a CD and that is all I am. I am also up front with people I meet and try not to deceive anyone.
I finally started my transition about eight years ago, when I was 50. But I struggled with gender dysphoria since I was three, according to my mother. I wish I had had this information decades ago. So happy for young trans girls these days, having access to this knowledge.
I think the biggest difference really is: do you just like feminine clothes or do you actually want a feminine body? I dont really need feminine clothes. I did some limited crossdressing during middle school but it all felt weird because what I really wanted was the body. For me the clothes were always just a nice extra. However just like other commenters I am a bit divided because I mostly feel fine as a guy but I also have this really strong urge to be feminine and when repressed that urge sometimes feels like a seperate personality. I can clearly tell that part of me really wants to be a woman but I am just not sure if that desire is strong enough to justify transitioning despite the fact that everything is clearly pointing in that direction. Maybe I should see a therapist.
I feel the same exact way, and after about 2-3 years of agonizing over it and thinking about it constantly, I just scheduled an appointment to get on HRT. I have realized that I wouldn't have been stressing about it for this long, despite me wanting it to go away, if the feeling wasn't real.
Kinda suck with trump in office we wont be able to continue transitioning. 😢 Hes blocking everthing and alot of us are unfortunately unlifing ourselves. Please stay strong people!!! We will get through this!!
As a trans woman who has been on HRT for 2 and a half years I feel like you hit the nail right on the head with every point. I would also like commend you on discerning that sexuality really doesn't have anything to do with either transness or crossdressing because I feel that it's a common misconception that all crossdressers are gay and that trans women may identify that way before transitioning. It is also worth noting though that at least in my experience that sexuality can somewhat shift with transition. I've always been more attracted to men even before I transitioned but once I had transitioned and was feeling comfortable with myself I found that while it was a lesser attraction that I was also attracted to women and other trans/non cis people and found that I was pansexual.
The biggest and hardest thing I have had to face about me being a trans woman is people automatically assuming I want to sleep with men, because I identify as a woman and dress like a woman. Who i want to sleep with has nothing to do with my identity and I wish people would take the time to know the distinctions and the differences. Small town people have small town minds, that's what I've learned. It just means that I had to explain myself a bit more to people and some still do not get it, but the deeper I have brought my gender identity into my life, the more freedom and comfort and self confidence has become the limelight. Even if I never surgically transition, I'm proud to be a woman and I try to live a life as the best female human I can be. ❤ this video is great because you beautifully explain the differences between trans women and crossdressing. I'm personally friends with both, trans and crossdressers and they too wish more people educated themselves. Thank you Steph for making this video! ❤
I have been butting up against the same wall now that I'm starting to date again. I cannot tell you how many people have just assumed my orientation based solely on my gender.
Hi Sweetie. You are so welcome. Thank you for all that you shared. And you're so right. Gender identity and sexual preference are two different things. Have the most amazing day.
I have always known I was female. At 63, I transitioned alnost overnight. All legal changes are done so far as I can, I have been female 24/7 since. I have learned to love this new life, as it has confirmed that I am, and always have been, a woman; just I was born and lived in the wrong body.
what if i live like a trans women as in i have transitioned hormonally, have removed facial hair, dress like a woman fulltime, plan to get ffs but i still have kept my guy name, and mainly prefer he/him pronouns? I dont know many examples like me personally?
Excellently done Steph! I hope there will be a day soon where we can scan a person s brain and confirm whether they are a crossdresser or a transwoman I believe it is tragic to assume an identity that isn’t appropriate for you It is critical to have clarity about who you are before making life changing decisions
Thanks for making this video hun. If I made a list it would match yours. The things that I wanna do that I haven't done or that I am working on will give me piece of mind when their all complete. The female presentation goal is my number 1 goal! I will achieve it in order to be my true female self 24/7. Also I started to tear up around the 7:25 marker. Because you hit a nerve and my heart in a good way. l want all my legal info to match my true female self. I want to go by all the female stuff full time, present as a woman full time and live life as a woman full time.
Very much appreciate you making thins video, it is a question I constantly ask myself. Some of the points you make I think well that puts in in the crossdresser category and then other points would make me trans; I think I am probably somewhere between the two. I have cross dressed for over fifty years and certainly when I was younger I considered myself to be a crossdresser, enjoying the relaxation and even including a sexual element; however for some years now the sexual element no longer exists and I present as feminine [as often as I can] just so I can be my real self.
Hello Stephanie It became very clear to me in my early teenage years i was a crossdresser What you said at the end I agree with . We are who we are live and let live is what i say . I have been asked a couple of times if i want to be a woman I just like crossdressing and Love my collection of formal office wear long straight skirts and dresses Most days at home i wear a skirt or dress I am lucky to have an understanding girlfriend and have been in public many times crossdressed I will never forget the fist time i did wearing a long pencil skirt suit 9/10 people don't care these days what you wear I Love crossplay going to events I have a Traditional Alice In Wonderland dress i like wearing or dressing up as a secretary I only wear knee length or below A long lined straight / pencil skirt or dress with 10 / 15 den tights or stockings and suspenders is very comfortable
I love your confidence!!! And it sounds like you have an awesome relationship and are very fashionable. And that's so beautiful "we are who we are. Live and let live."
There is a big difference between the two. I have loved dressing like a girl since I was a little boy. I find the clothes and feminine interests, like playing with dolls when I was younger, or makeup as I grew older, so fascinating. But I am definitely a man. But I have a different side too, almost like there is a woman that wants to come out sometimes. For the most part, I have tried to repress it to the best of my abilities. But it only makes it more prevalent. And I have tried to find ways to express my femininity while still remaining a male. Like taking ballet lessons, and dress up in very feminine attire. It is very hard to repress it, and it might make me depressed if I do!
Yeah, I know the feeling. Its so confusing because you feel like 2 different people stuck in one body and the more you try to suppress it the more it comes out. In my case I was also certain that I am definately a guy but I cant shake the feeling of wanting to be a woman. At times I really dont know who I am or what I want. Is it my feminine side that is just a manifestatiom of my lust or is it my masculine side that is just an extremely elaborate persona?
I love your work Stephaine. It makes me feel good knowing that there is support out there for the transgender folks out there and the cross-dressers. When I’m feeling down, I listen to your talks and your hypnosis about being comfortable as a trans women like myself.❤
I so enjoy planning, collecting and wearing my outfits to dinner! I crossdress around the house almost daily and go out somewhere at least once a weekend. The wife says i look better then she does and have a real flair at combinations.
I think there is often a clear distinction between crossdressers and transwomen in the way Stephanie described it. But I also think someone who simply dresses for fun or to express a feminine side can start identifying more strongly with that female persona that he has created, so much so that he feels more comfortable as she--and less as he. And he dreads going back to his male side, spending more and more time presenting as a female, which he, now she, understands to be her real identity. In other words, one can transition between CD and transwoman, just as one transitions from male to female.
You did a terrific job of explaining the differences between a CD and a trans woman, however I do believe many times the person changes along lifes path, and realize how much they wished they had been a girl all of their life. Thanks!
is it possible to be between the two? I am older but if I had a choice I would like to express myself more like a woman. I often think about transitioning and if my circumstances were different or my choices in life had been different I think I would have. I go out in public often dress as a woman and I feel liberated and happy and that feeling has never gone away over the years.
Hey there. Trans woman here. :) You might need some introspection about what your actual desires are. I'm not talking sexually here, this might be, when you first happen upon it, a tiny, fleeting feeling. It might just be the euphoria that you described as feeling liberated and happy and you might not feel much or any dysphoria at all. Not every trans woman feels dysphoria, especially before they realize they're trans. For me it was a taking interest in dressing more feminine, experimenting with presentation, having long hair, shaving as good as possible - all that, twenty plus years ago. The face that looked back at me scared me back then, it wasn't at all feminine and I hid that side away, even from myself, until last year it broke out again. Suddenly the memories came rushing back and it made me cry. That was my cathartic moment when I resolved to explore this side of me and since then my life, especially my emotional clarity has taken a steep upturn. I never had much dysphoria before that point last year. A work colleague commenting on how my hairline was getting thinner might've actually triggered that chain reaction a month or two before my realization. I had always loved my mane and even though over those twenty years I had cut it short, that was first out of necessity and then out of habit. Your being older should have no indication on which way your identity leans, on where you truly desire to end up. Doesn't even have to be that you're a trans woman. Might also be you're "just" genderfluid, nonbinary or any other of the wonderful colors on the palette of gender. Experiment. Ask yourself what you want. Trust you instincts, your gut feeling, not the little doubting voices in your head. Write down your dreams right after waking up, think about what they might mean. If your subconscious wants to tell you something, it will. Good luck on your journey :)
@@KiaraKellner I can relate to so much of what you wrote. During middle school, when puberty started doing its thing I noticed how jealous I became of the girls. I desperately wanted what they had: their clothes, their accessories, but most importantly their bodies. I also kept dreaming of and imagining myself as my favourite female characters from various shows I used to watch back then. At some point I tried some minor crossdressing here and there but I didnt really like it. It was simply never enough so when we had sex ed in biology I came out to my teacher and then later to my mom and my best friends. I was making preparations to transition but therapy was going slow and then covid hit so we had to abandon the whole thing. After that things quickly spiraled out of control. I started causing trouble until I got kicked out of school, took a gap year, then another until I realized I was a neet with zero prospects. I was also neckdeep in alt-right spaces because I wanted what all those powerful leaders had: to be needed, to be wanted, to be loved. Ultimately I realized I can never be a great leader if I dont get myself together so I tried excersizing and taking better care of myself and thats when it hit me: I didnt hate the world, I hated myself, more specifically my body. I tried everything to repress my feminine desires by that point but they kept manifesting in an extremely stubborn porn addiction and whenever I masturbated I essentially fell into a trance where I couldnt stop imagining myself in the place of the women. I thought of it all as sinful and degenerate as by that time I almost completely forgot about my first transition attempt but I eventually became so exhausted by constantly fighting it that I actually considered embracing it. I looked up some trans stuff on youtube until I stumbled upon the incel to trans pipeline, a video where a transwoman explained how and why so many failed men end up becoming women. When she started talking about her own experiences all my repressed school memories came back and I couldnt stop crying. I already knew I hated myself, but now I knew why I hated myself and things finally started making sence again after years of having this constant feeling of not knowing who I am or what I want. Since then I really started noticing what I dont like about my body, like my lack of boobs, and whenever I am reminded of it I feel this sharp pain in my chest or just generally feel extreme discomfort. I also noticed how I started expressing more and more feminine mannerism that I picked up over the years and how I slowly started hating my erections. I would have probably come to the conclusion that I have to transition at some point but that video made me so self-aware that it basically unlocked my dysphoria and I almost felt suicidal during the first few weeks after watching it. Now I am making an active effort to understand and improve myself.
If you enjoy presenting as male you are probably a crossdresser If you don’t you are probably a transwoman I love being a man As Steph said there are times when I love wearing make up and a dress
Your video is spot on. I have had strong crossdressing urges since the age of two. I love dressing up in private in pencil skirts, tights, shift dresses, ballgowns & satin lingerie. It triggers the same feelings of happiness & satisfaction as eating chocolate. I have never been fully crossdressed with a wig & make up but I will go to a crossdressing service when I have the spare cash next year as I am not embarrassed about doing it now. I am not unhappy as a man, I have some traditional male interests like watching football & cricket & if I met the right lady I would be happy settling down with her providing she accepted me crossdressing occasionally in private. However, sometimes I do have transgender feelings that become dominant for a while. When I am in that frame of mind I fantasise about living full time as a woman & having the surgery. I would be happy doing either. However, I am more likely to stay as I am because transitioning is not an easy process, my family are anti trans & the clothes don’t hang on me as well as they do a woman. I am never going to have a woman’s hip dimensions.
Actually the majority of Crossdressers do it for sexual pleasure and gratification "AGP" they do it for mainly sexual pleasure. CD don't want to transition or take hormones. CD &Trans woman are two completely different people amd are NOT THE SAME! If your a CD and find you want to be female full time and not do it for sexual pleasure you might be trans and will need a lot of introspective thinking and see where your thoughts are. If you dont like being male and want to be female and your thoughts are wanti g to transition you possibly are Transgender
@@BeautifullyChanged Absolutely Once you transition you can’t go back and you could really regret it Make sure you know what you are doing before you transition I understand de transitioning is pure hell
I am a crossdresser I crossdress when I can but I do it because I want to be a woman when they have will be I just don't have the knowledge on doing it very well to pass as a woman so I cross dress in the Parks and at night when nobody will be able to see me but I do want to be a woman I'm 58 years old I don't know what to limit is on being in my age groups please let me know thank you very much
It's a shorthand description of what it feels like more like. It's a deep seated dissatisfaction with different qualities about your own body. Hmmm... imagine you'd have to walk about the place every day in boots that are filled with slimy, stinking refuse. You've done it your entire life and you've been brought up to think it's normal for some reason, why does it feel like not the right thing then for you? Imagine you've never been allowed to sleep lying down and now you're presented with a fluffy bed for the first time. You've been brought up to not sleep in beds there's (at least) two ways this can go, either you love it and never want to miss it again, or you don't like it and prefer things as they are, with you sleeping while standing. Both are valid, but one's about changing your entire way of life and the other is being okay with your current way of life, basically. hth.
People can feel their body doesn't match their minds or who they are. They can feel as though they were assigned the wrong gender at birth because they were assigned a gender based on their body instead of who they are internally.
You are very well in tune Stephanie❤. My psychotherapist analyzed me with specific questions 1- who do I desire to be pleasured by? A man. 2- erotic identity; woman, (heterosexual) who do I desire to be pleasured as? A woman. 3- gender; woman (who do I see myself being day to day)? A woman. 4- sex; (male bodied) feminine mind. After only 6 visits Amanda wrote a recommendation letter for my physician, stating that she strongly feels that I should be allowed to start estrogen replacement therapy, as she has never encountered anyone more meant for this than myself❤
Wow. That must have been such an empowering and affirming journey with her.
I only differ from you in question 1: I’m bisexual
And question
3: I have continually chosen to align with an outward male identity as ‘cover.’ It comes from fearing judgement, and not passing. If all external pressure dropped and I would never face scrutiny for anything I ever did (or any way I presented) I would definitely shave my legs and get a woman’s haircut and wear makeup and cute dresses outside of the house. I’m probably a tomboy deep down, in that I may not expect to be going out with a full glam look all the time. But again, that’s part of the problem. A woman can wear a t shirt and jeans. But I can’t really wear a tshirt and jeans AS a woman with the body I have…
I don’t know, I feel like this leaves me stuck in a yucky limbo.
Yes Stephanie, it truly was affirming❤@@BeautifullyChanged
@@BD-yl5mh what you are describing is boymoding (or manmoding, depending on how old/masculine you are). Dont worry about it, its normal. If you are just doing so as a cover then its not your actual gender.
I am currently in a similar spot and I know how confusing it can be. I keep thinking that I would be fine as a guy but then the dysphoria kicks in and I immediately know that I would be much happier as a girl.
❤wonderfully and beautifully explained Steph❤you have a lovely soul❤@@BeautifullyChanged
I've never had this confusion, since I never did any cross-dressing. There was nothing really feminine about me in my attitude or presentation...but there was this recurring desire to "be a woman", and occasional flare-ups of "wrong body" experience that I knew I couldn't just keep ignoring. It's weird and complicated because I kind of don't even want to be a woman, except that I really do. Presentation and identity aren't the same thing and it's frustrating.
I hear you. Thank you so much for sharing.
That feeling of not wanting to be a woman but also really wanting to be a woman is *so* relatable. This is exactly my experience.
@@miniaturejayhawk8702right?? That's my experience too... It's good to see I'm not alone
Relate
Another thing that I have to add as for personal experience and some I watched online is that crossdesers sometimes look for ultra feminine presentation while as for some trans woman like me feel feminine in modest clothing or even a hoodie and jeans since we don't need clothing to prove or to be who we are
Very true.
That's interesting. I'm someone who is about 90% sure I'm trans, and feel as though I have to present ultra fem. Don't get me wrong, I like doing it but it's a lot of work and sometimes feels very fake. There are some... I hesitate to call them masculine, but I guess just more neutral styles like jeggings and plaid long sleeves which I like. I just worry I look too much like a guy when wearing them, especially without doing anything with hair or makeup
@@liekkianimaatio3652 I mean trans women can be girly girls too 😘
@@liekkianimaatio3652 Could it be a matter of what fashion to wear depending? e.g. older men or older women dressing like they did in high school? At times finding fashionable role models can be difficult (don't use me as example, how I dress is completely different than what a trans would dress). In regards to fashionable role models which I think these days are the worst both what Hollywood, fast fashion industry, and social media influencers mainly present outrageous click-bait stuff. I know some older women (old enough to remember quality clothing from Sears and Montgomery Ward) who mention todays' fashions are really bad. When CDs want to go out in public, they tone down the girlyness as most women don't dress ultra femme. But then I have seen some taller cis women that dress like a man (basic shirt, pants, flats, no makeup) but the way they walk there's no doubt they would be otherwise.
I first tried on women's clothes when I was 12 years old, and always wished I had been born a female. I was straight, loved girls, but at the same time wished I was one myself! I was 25 before I even knew it was possible for a man to change to female, and by then I was married, had responsibilities, two kids, so I decided it was great that a male could become a female, but I knew it was not possible for me. A few years ago, I decided I want to be as feminine as I can be, and went on female hormones and I love the changes in my body,. It really surprised to find that now I am attracted to men, but my therapist says she isn't surprised at all, because now I think more like a woman, and it's only natural for me to be attracted to men. I have found that I do love to be the submissive 'sissy' with men who are somewhat dominant. This is something I would never have even considered doing when I was a teenager.
Thank you for sharing Tammy. A lot of people will resonate with your story.
I used to think I was more female than male but could crossdress to survive. That ended with 10 years of worsening depression before my egg finally cracked and i realised i had to transition. Im now 2 years in and so happy i did it. There have been challenges and a lot of hard work along the way but Gender Euphoria is a real thing. Be strong and believe in yourself.
Greetings from Australia!
@@RoweSandberg 👏👏👏
Crossdresser here, I enjoy dressing as a woman but I have no desires to live full time or do HRT or surgery. And yes there are huge differences between CDs and trans. When I dress up, I try to look feminine though perhaps much of my dressing is probably way more than what a trans woman would do. The movie about Gwen Araujo describes where trans had their brain wired differently during fetus development but the body did not. A sad movie but it illustrated what trans people are and what they have to endure. And there are lots of YT videos describing differences, however, I find most are sensational click-bait by high earning influencers that generally add confusion or stir up conflicts. It is nice to find this video as a basic lecture on this subject.
It can get confusing for many as fashions have become androgynous (almost all are these horrible fast fashion designs that end up in the landfill) then there's lot of high profile media posts (which what is commonly presented in media is rarely seen in real life). It has been written and said for many years if a CD wants to pass, don't dress up really femme as many cis women do not. Then there's sensational political where a few, and very few, stir up controversy causing legislators to create laws on subjects that are in reality not an issue. But such legislation can cause problems.
For myself I never intent to deceive or "trap" though I want to be feminine in a glamorous way but I flat out indicate I am a CD. Of course some like that others do not. If they are not into CDs, no reason for them to watch or read my posts. Even for "straight" people there are preferences of style of what they want/don't want in the opposite sex. And though my hobby of dressing I do understand it is not something that earns money or helps promotion at my day job.
Sexual orientation can be confusing, at least for me. Lately when I dress up, I have desires to be with a man. But then that's me. While statistics are confusing, I believe most CDs are straight and have no desires to interact with the same sex. Then there are a smaller group that wants to be with other CDs, and even a much smaller group that wants to be with a man. I believe for trans women are attracted men but not as gay, they are attracted to men like cis women are attracted to men. For gay men, men dressed as women do nothing for them from what I see. There are gay men that do drag but they seem to be over the top, not trying to be really sexy but rather a parody for comedic effect. Then there's another group, what I refer to female illusionists that create impersonations of celebrities such as Marilyn Monroe. Which the latter are nothing of CDs or trans.
Do you have a Boyfriend?
I could not have put it better. I dress often inside and outside. I am a CD and that is all I am. I am also up front with people I meet and try not to deceive anyone.
@@VictorianMaid99 Do you have a Boyfriend?
@ericfreshcorn3590 no I do not however when I am at the bar the boys flock all over me. I rarely buy drinks for I am not a pretty girl.
@@VictorianMaid99 I will date you interested
I finally started my transition about eight years ago, when I was 50. But I struggled with gender dysphoria since I was three, according to my mother. I wish I had had this information decades ago. So happy for young trans girls these days, having access to this knowledge.
do you have a boyfriend ?
@ I've been married for 21 years.
@@therealgaragegirls Is your Wife Okay with your Transsion
@ She loves me for me--and is over the moon happy that I'm finally happy. Thank you.
I think the biggest difference really is: do you just like feminine clothes or do you actually want a feminine body?
I dont really need feminine clothes. I did some limited crossdressing during middle school but it all felt weird because what I really wanted was the body. For me the clothes were always just a nice extra. However just like other commenters I am a bit divided because I mostly feel fine as a guy but I also have this really strong urge to be feminine and when repressed that urge sometimes feels like a seperate personality. I can clearly tell that part of me really wants to be a woman but I am just not sure if that desire is strong enough to justify transitioning despite the fact that everything is clearly pointing in that direction. Maybe I should see a therapist.
I feel the same exact way, and after about 2-3 years of agonizing over it and thinking about it constantly, I just scheduled an appointment to get on HRT. I have realized that I wouldn't have been stressing about it for this long, despite me wanting it to go away, if the feeling wasn't real.
Kinda suck with trump in office we wont be able to continue transitioning. 😢
Hes blocking everthing and alot of us are unfortunately unlifing ourselves. Please stay strong people!!! We will get through this!!
7:25 This is one of the most true and mind-blowing ways I've heard to express how I feel about myself.
💯
Yeah, I almost cried when I heard that. I never really thought of it that way but its so painfully accurate.
As a trans woman who has been on HRT for 2 and a half years I feel like you hit the nail right on the head with every point. I would also like commend you on discerning that sexuality really doesn't have anything to do with either transness or crossdressing because I feel that it's a common misconception that all crossdressers are gay and that trans women may identify that way before transitioning. It is also worth noting though that at least in my experience that sexuality can somewhat shift with transition. I've always been more attracted to men even before I transitioned but once I had transitioned and was feeling comfortable with myself I found that while it was a lesser attraction that I was also attracted to women and other trans/non cis people and found that I was pansexual.
Very well said and you're right on the money. Sexuality can shift with transition.
The biggest and hardest thing I have had to face about me being a trans woman is people automatically assuming I want to sleep with men, because I identify as a woman and dress like a woman. Who i want to sleep with has nothing to do with my identity and I wish people would take the time to know the distinctions and the differences. Small town people have small town minds, that's what I've learned. It just means that I had to explain myself a bit more to people and some still do not get it, but the deeper I have brought my gender identity into my life, the more freedom and comfort and self confidence has become the limelight. Even if I never surgically transition, I'm proud to be a woman and I try to live a life as the best female human I can be. ❤ this video is great because you beautifully explain the differences between trans women and crossdressing. I'm personally friends with both, trans and crossdressers and they too wish more people educated themselves. Thank you Steph for making this video! ❤
I have been butting up against the same wall now that I'm starting to date again. I cannot tell you how many people have just assumed my orientation based solely on my gender.
Hi Sweetie. You are so welcome. Thank you for all that you shared. And you're so right. Gender identity and sexual preference are two different things. Have the most amazing day.
The most interesting part is having to actually make an effort to explain this to gay men. Seems they don't get it yet. 🥲
7:18
are you trying to MAKE ME CRY
I have followed you for a few years and I appreciate you so much. Much love. 💕
Thank you so much and I appreciate you!!!
I have always known I was female. At 63, I transitioned alnost overnight. All legal changes are done so far as I can, I have been female 24/7 since. I have learned to love this new life, as it has confirmed that I am, and always have been, a woman; just I was born and lived in the wrong body.
@@debisaunders2298 that must have been such a powerful transition for you!!! Thank you so much for sharing.
what if i live like a trans women as in i have transitioned hormonally, have removed facial hair, dress like a woman fulltime, plan to get ffs but i still have kept my guy name, and mainly prefer he/him pronouns? I dont know many examples like me personally?
Excellently done Steph!
I hope there will be a day soon where we can scan a person s brain and confirm whether they are a crossdresser or a transwoman
I believe it is tragic to assume an identity that isn’t appropriate for you It is critical to have clarity about who you are before making life changing decisions
Thanks for making this video hun. If I made a list it would match yours. The things that I wanna do that I haven't done or that I am working on will give me piece of mind when their all complete. The female presentation goal is my number 1 goal! I will achieve it in order to be my true female self 24/7. Also I started to tear up around the 7:25 marker. Because you hit a nerve and my heart in a good way. l want all my legal info to match my true female self. I want to go by all the female stuff full time, present as a woman full time and live life as a woman full time.
Very much appreciate you making thins video, it is a question I constantly ask myself. Some of the points you make I think well that puts in in the crossdresser category and then other points would make me trans; I think I am probably somewhere between the two. I have cross dressed for over fifty years and certainly when I was younger I considered myself to be a crossdresser, enjoying the relaxation and even including a sexual element; however for some years now the sexual element no longer exists and I present as feminine [as often as I can] just so I can be my real self.
I love that you can be your real self and yes, you can definitely be somewhere between the two, as you well know. :)
I mean, that does sound a lot like you were just trans all along. But ultimatly it all depends on how you feel.
Hello Stephanie It became very clear to me in my early teenage years i was a crossdresser What you said at the end I agree with . We are who we are live and let live is what i say . I have been asked a couple of times if i want to be a woman I just like crossdressing and Love my collection of formal office wear long straight skirts and dresses Most days at home i wear a skirt or dress I am lucky to have an understanding girlfriend and have been in public many times crossdressed I will never forget the fist time i did wearing a long pencil skirt suit 9/10 people don't care these days what you wear I Love crossplay going to events I have a Traditional Alice In Wonderland dress i like wearing or dressing up as a secretary I only wear knee length or below A long lined straight / pencil skirt or dress with 10 / 15 den tights or stockings and suspenders is very comfortable
I love your confidence!!! And it sounds like you have an awesome relationship and are very fashionable. And that's so beautiful "we are who we are. Live and let live."
This is also me: I love collecting and wearing the clothing but have thoughts of living as a women.
There is a big difference between the two. I have loved dressing like a girl since I was a little boy. I find the clothes and feminine interests, like playing with dolls when I was younger, or makeup as I grew older, so fascinating. But I am definitely a man. But I have a different side too, almost like there is a woman that wants to come out sometimes. For the most part, I have tried to repress it to the best of my abilities. But it only makes it more prevalent. And I have tried to find ways to express my femininity while still remaining a male. Like taking ballet lessons, and dress up in very feminine attire. It is very hard to repress it, and it might make me depressed if I do!
Yeah, I know the feeling. Its so confusing because you feel like 2 different people stuck in one body and the more you try to suppress it the more it comes out. In my case I was also certain that I am definately a guy but I cant shake the feeling of wanting to be a woman. At times I really dont know who I am or what I want. Is it my feminine side that is just a manifestatiom of my lust or is it my masculine side that is just an extremely elaborate persona?
Iove dressing as a lady however I am happy to be a boy
@@VictorianMaid99 Do you have a Boyfriend?
I love your work Stephaine. It makes me feel good knowing that there is support out there for the transgender folks out there and the cross-dressers. When I’m feeling down, I listen to your talks and your hypnosis about being comfortable as a trans women like myself.❤
I so enjoy planning, collecting and wearing my outfits to dinner! I crossdress around the house almost daily and go out somewhere at least once a weekend. The wife says i look better then she does and have a real flair at combinations.
I think there is often a clear distinction between crossdressers and transwomen in the way Stephanie described it. But I also think someone who simply dresses for fun or to express a feminine side can start identifying more strongly with that female persona that he has created, so much so that he feels more comfortable as she--and less as he. And he dreads going back to his male side, spending more and more time presenting as a female, which he, now she, understands to be her real identity. In other words, one can transition between CD and transwoman, just as one transitions from male to female.
You did a terrific job of explaining the differences between a CD and a trans woman, however I do believe many times the person changes along lifes path, and realize how much they wished they had been a girl all of their life. Thanks!
is it possible to be between the two? I am older but if I had a choice I would like to express myself more like a woman. I often think about transitioning and if my circumstances were different or my choices in life had been different I think I would have. I go out in public often dress as a woman and I feel liberated and happy and that feeling has never gone away over the years.
Hey there. Trans woman here. :) You might need some introspection about what your actual desires are. I'm not talking sexually here, this might be, when you first happen upon it, a tiny, fleeting feeling. It might just be the euphoria that you described as feeling liberated and happy and you might not feel much or any dysphoria at all. Not every trans woman feels dysphoria, especially before they realize they're trans. For me it was a taking interest in dressing more feminine, experimenting with presentation, having long hair, shaving as good as possible - all that, twenty plus years ago. The face that looked back at me scared me back then, it wasn't at all feminine and I hid that side away, even from myself, until last year it broke out again. Suddenly the memories came rushing back and it made me cry. That was my cathartic moment when I resolved to explore this side of me and since then my life, especially my emotional clarity has taken a steep upturn.
I never had much dysphoria before that point last year. A work colleague commenting on how my hairline was getting thinner might've actually triggered that chain reaction a month or two before my realization. I had always loved my mane and even though over those twenty years I had cut it short, that was first out of necessity and then out of habit.
Your being older should have no indication on which way your identity leans, on where you truly desire to end up. Doesn't even have to be that you're a trans woman. Might also be you're "just" genderfluid, nonbinary or any other of the wonderful colors on the palette of gender.
Experiment. Ask yourself what you want. Trust you instincts, your gut feeling, not the little doubting voices in your head. Write down your dreams right after waking up, think about what they might mean. If your subconscious wants to tell you something, it will.
Good luck on your journey :)
@@KiaraKellner such a beautiful reply. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this.
It sure is.
@@KiaraKellner I can relate to so much of what you wrote. During middle school, when puberty started doing its thing I noticed how jealous I became of the girls. I desperately wanted what they had: their clothes, their accessories, but most importantly their bodies. I also kept dreaming of and imagining myself as my favourite female characters from various shows I used to watch back then.
At some point I tried some minor crossdressing here and there but I didnt really like it. It was simply never enough so when we had sex ed in biology I came out to my teacher and then later to my mom and my best friends. I was making preparations to transition but therapy was going slow and then covid hit so we had to abandon the whole thing.
After that things quickly spiraled out of control. I started causing trouble until I got kicked out of school, took a gap year, then another until I realized I was a neet with zero prospects. I was also neckdeep in alt-right spaces because I wanted what all those powerful leaders had: to be needed, to be wanted, to be loved.
Ultimately I realized I can never be a great leader if I dont get myself together so I tried excersizing and taking better care of myself and thats when it hit me: I didnt hate the world, I hated myself, more specifically my body. I tried everything to repress my feminine desires by that point but they kept manifesting in an extremely stubborn porn addiction and whenever I masturbated I essentially fell into a trance where I couldnt stop imagining myself in the place of the women. I thought of it all as sinful and degenerate as by that time I almost completely forgot about my first transition attempt but I eventually became so exhausted by constantly fighting it that I actually considered embracing it.
I looked up some trans stuff on youtube until I stumbled upon the incel to trans pipeline, a video where a transwoman explained how and why so many failed men end up becoming women. When she started talking about her own experiences all my repressed school memories came back and I couldnt stop crying. I already knew I hated myself, but now I knew why I hated myself and things finally started making sence again after years of having this constant feeling of not knowing who I am or what I want.
Since then I really started noticing what I dont like about my body, like my lack of boobs, and whenever I am reminded of it I feel this sharp pain in my chest or just generally feel extreme discomfort. I also noticed how I started expressing more and more feminine mannerism that I picked up over the years and how I slowly started hating my erections.
I would have probably come to the conclusion that I have to transition at some point but that video made me so self-aware that it basically unlocked my dysphoria and I almost felt suicidal during the first few weeks after watching it. Now I am making an active effort to understand and improve myself.
This was very interesting and helpful. Thank you for sharing!
You're welcome. Thank you for watching and commenting. Have a lovely day.
If you enjoy presenting as male you are probably a crossdresser If you don’t you are probably a transwoman I love being a man As Steph said there are times when I love wearing make up and a dress
Purple and pink. 2 of the rarest colors.
Love pink dresses! I have a new ball gown that is just waiting for cooler weather!
@ Good.
Thanks for this information very helpful
Your video is spot on. I have had strong crossdressing urges since the age of two. I love dressing up in private in pencil skirts, tights, shift dresses, ballgowns & satin lingerie. It triggers the same feelings of happiness & satisfaction as eating chocolate. I have never been fully crossdressed with a wig & make up but I will go to a crossdressing service when I have the spare cash next year as I am not embarrassed about doing it now. I am not unhappy as a man, I have some traditional male interests like watching football & cricket & if I met the right lady I would be happy settling down with her providing she accepted me crossdressing occasionally in private. However, sometimes I do have transgender feelings that become dominant for a while. When I am in that frame of mind I fantasise about living full time as a woman & having the surgery. I would be happy doing either. However, I am more likely to stay as I am because transitioning is not an easy process, my family are anti trans & the clothes don’t hang on me as well as they do a woman. I am never going to have a woman’s hip dimensions.
You nailed me 100%. Thanks Steph
You're welcome.
Is there a difference between a cross dresser and an AGP?
I a a born female in a mans body so my dressings are for my female side..so girls i am female..
Actually the majority of Crossdressers do it for sexual pleasure and gratification "AGP" they do it for mainly sexual pleasure. CD don't want to transition or take hormones. CD &Trans woman are two completely different people amd are NOT THE SAME! If your a CD and find you want to be female full time and not do it for sexual pleasure you might be trans and will need a lot of introspective thinking and see where your thoughts are. If you dont like being male and want to be female and your thoughts are wanti g to transition you possibly are Transgender
I would agree
And where I am? I like wearing female makeup so I get pernament makeup but I usually wear male clothes and don't like it to be addressed as woman.
@@silaseinhorn6765 you don’t sound trans to me.
man can use make up, it doesn't have to be that deep if you don't feel like it is
@@Gabrielle-kw7xi very true. Men can wear makeup if they want to. Not a big deal at all.
Only one of a thousand are trans. All the other are Crossdresser.
I don't think it is that important to make a distinction. let people be whoever they want to be and we should all be good.
@@mostshenanigans it’s important for people going through it to know where they stand. They want to know. They are who requested this video.
@@BeautifullyChanged Absolutely Once you transition you can’t go back and you could really regret it Make sure you know what you are doing before you transition I understand de transitioning is pure hell
Ive done crossdressing but i aint trans
NOTICED? What about the basic community-determined definitions of the words? One is a GENDER, the other is a PASTIME or FETISH. Simple.
I am a crossdresser I crossdress when I can but I do it because I want to be a woman when they have will be I just don't have the knowledge on doing it very well to pass as a woman so I cross dress in the Parks and at night when nobody will be able to see me but I do want to be a woman I'm 58 years old I don't know what to limit is on being in my age groups please let me know thank you very much
@@donaldbush6130 you would have to talk to your doctor to make a plan with them for your individual needs and health
0:44 That's a spiritual thing then. Things can be born in the wrong body. 😅😅 ??
It's a shorthand description of what it feels like more like. It's a deep seated dissatisfaction with different qualities about your own body. Hmmm... imagine you'd have to walk about the place every day in boots that are filled with slimy, stinking refuse. You've done it your entire life and you've been brought up to think it's normal for some reason, why does it feel like not the right thing then for you? Imagine you've never been allowed to sleep lying down and now you're presented with a fluffy bed for the first time. You've been brought up to not sleep in beds there's (at least) two ways this can go, either you love it and never want to miss it again, or you don't like it and prefer things as they are, with you sleeping while standing. Both are valid, but one's about changing your entire way of life and the other is being okay with your current way of life, basically. hth.
@@KiaraKellner This comment your replying to is why I never explain it as "born in the wrong body." I was just born transgender.
@@KiaraKellner Fantastic!! Thank you!!
People can feel their body doesn't match their minds or who they are. They can feel as though they were assigned the wrong gender at birth because they were assigned a gender based on their body instead of who they are internally.
@@BeautifullyChanged I guess so
Ok, how about those who can’t transition and crossdress as a means to an end?
@@ocularpatdown the point would be that they WANT and DESIRE to transition but can’t. So that would fall into the trans woman category
@@BeautifullyChangedah, thank you. I appreciate the clarification.
Pretty nails.